So. How's everyone doing?

It's Sunday night here in Oz. I watched the SPN series finale late Friday night my time, after I got home from my PM shift.

[Finale Spoilers (click to open)]I started crying at the Barn Scene and kept crying for the rest of the episode and then cried for an hour aftewards, before going to bed at 2.00am. I actually had a crying hangover the next morning, that's how much I cried. I have been an emotional wreck all weekend and I'm just glad that I have three days off to recuperate after the finale.

Y'all, I cannot believe how hard I am grieving for a fictional character. Well. Two fictional characters. I'm grieving Dean's death and I'm grieving for Sam's loss. His death at an advanced age was comforting, because I knew he'd be reunited with Dean. But sheesh. I knew I loved Supernatural...I've stuck by it through some pretty sucky writing...because I love these two brothers and the actors who play them are awesome people. But the depth of my emotional response has really surprised me.

I know some of you are feeling a bit the same way, so I figured I'd check in. How are you feeling today? Do you have thoughts? Questions? Are there things left too open ended that you need closure on?  Have you read any good post finale fic?

I have read a few so far which resonated for me:

This namelsess drabble by anniespinkhouse, described as A little headcanon for the faceless lady watching Sam play catch with Dean.

He Tells My Story by zubeneschamali: Missing scenes for 15.20. Spoilers abound. One of the ways Sam learns to cope is by helping kids who've lost family to the supernatural. It becomes something a lot bigger.


Some and Now None of You by Goldmonger: This pain is not something that will go away. This is a wound that will bleed for his entire life.

EDIT (because I knew I was missing a couple!!)

Don't you cry no more by amypond: Sam and Dean get the ending they deserve. Or do they? (somewhat ironically named because it made me cry a lot more!)


Peace when you are done by Lovetincture: Sam and Dean reunite in heaven. Sam reflects on his life and the things that have brought them to this moment.

And JJ reminded me about this one!

The End of the Road by dizzojay
--

If you've read something that helped you to process the finale, please let me know!

Art Title: The Wheel of Fortune
Prompt Number: S2013
Artist: grazimousy

Fic Title: The Wheel of Fortune
Author: zara_zee
Fandom Genre: SPN, Pre-series
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~11,000
Tags/Warnings: Pre-series, Angst, Fluff and Smut, co-dependence, sharing a bed, first time, fortune telling, Las Vegas, bottom!Dean, wincest
A/N: Written for spn_reversebang.

Summary: Sam is desperate for change; Dean just wants things to stay the same. But the wheel of fortune turns evermore and no one can avoid what is fated. Especially not a Winchester.

LINK TO FIC | LINK TO ART



Notes: I had the very great pleasure to work with Grazimousy this year and what a wonderful partner she was. Her prompt was so inspiring and the additional art she made is just fabulous.
Thanks as always to EE for beta reading and to the fabulous mods of this fabulous challenge. I had a blast, as always. :)  

So about ten years ago I wrote my first fanfic and only ever posted it on Fanfiction.net. It was called Sons and Brothers and it was a Supernatural/Sons of Anarchy gen crossover. I still get the ocasional comment on it and I've been meaning forever to post it on my A03, but somehow never seem to get around to it. Anyway, today I got a message from a kind soul on Fanfiction.net (and kind guest user who doesn't have an account so I can't even thank them!) but they let me know that my work has been copied onto Wattpad, by someone calling themselves Blackfinnix. They don't seem to have copied much SPN stuff (only mine) and I didn't recognize any of the other fic, so hopefully no one else on my f-list is effected.  I've sent them a message and I hope they take it down--I would prefer not to have to report them for copyright violation, there's a big long form with lots of personal information you have to complete to do that and I'd rather not, so here's hoping they'll do the right thing.

Apart from that...I'm incredibly busy at work. I work in aged care and it's the year of covid-19. Enough said. Very long hours in full PPE, often short staffed. Very stressful. :(

I have enjoyed Summergen though. I'm a bit behind--but only a bit! I think I've only got three stories left  to read.

And finally, I have started using my twitter account a bit more. It's not strictly speaking a fandom space, because non fandom friends and family follow me there too, so please don't mention my fanfic to me over there, except in private message. But fandom stuff in general is a-ok. If you get followed by Cara_Zee, that's me! :)

Hope everyone's doing okay in these strange uncertain times and staying as safe, healthy and positive as you can. But honestly, with Supernatural ending, we really should have expected an apocalypse, right? 

Title: Stacks of green paper in his red right hand (Hellspawn 'verse)
Author: zara_zee
Artist: bluefire986
Beta: endlessevalina
Genre: Slash, Dark Romance, Action-thriller. Crime.
Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~30,000
Disclaimer: I have borrowed the names and faces of certain actors without their knowledge or approval. Said actors belong to themselves and I have merely cast them in my fiction. Not a word of this is true; I’ve just got them playing parts.
Any family members mentioned are strictly OCs as I don’t personally like to cast non-actors in my fictional dramas.  Written for fun, not profit.
Warnings: References to child abuse. Organized crime. BDSM. Kink. Violence. Part of the Hellspawn 'verse

Summary: Life has never been better for Jared and Jensen. Business is booming. The challenges for control of the Californian underworld appear to have stopped. They have an awesome new house and an ever growing family of misfits and outlaws.  Jensen’s even trying to quit smoking.
And then Jensen’s father drops a bombshell that makes Jared bench Jensen from everything but their ‘honest’ earnings. Jensen hates his new restrictions, but with so much on the line, he can’t argue with them—not until a friend of the Club is in danger and Jensen’s the only one who can help. And then he can’t just sit it out. Right?

LINK TO FIC
LINK TO ART

Thank you so much to endlessevalina for beta reading way out of her comfort zone, to bluefire986 for the fabulous art (please do check it out; it's yummy!), to wendy for continuing to host this iconic challenge and last but not least, a massive thank you to all the readers whose enthusiasm for this 'verse has inspired me to write more!  I hope you enjoy this offering. <3 

Title: Ticket to Anywhere
Author: zara_zee
Genre: Romance
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 46,000~
Disclaimer: Not mine. Just playing in the sandbox.
Warnings: AU. Werewolves. A/B/O dynamics. Light D/s. Psuedo-science. Unique biology. References to past heat-related non-con. Omega!Dean, Bottom!Dean, Alpha!Sam, Alpha!Benny. Dean has a daughter. References to M-Preg. References to prior still-birth. Victim-blaming. Self-worth issues. AU World, so expect historical, geographical and cultural differences.

A/N: Written for Livejournal’s spn_meanttobe’s 2020 challenge and inspired by the following prompt:
( See original prompt...Collapse )

Story, chapter titles and prefaces are from Fast Car, by Tracy Chapman

Summary: When their alpha-male -sire dies of liver failure, Dean announces that he wants to use the money from John Winchester’s estate to buy a bed-and-breakfast in the small fishing village of Jean-Lafitte, Louisiana. After everything his omega-brother has done for him, alpha-male Sam can’t say no.  Despite privately thinking it’s a bad idea, Sam agrees to move interstate with Dean and Dean’s four-year-old omega-daughter, Millie, to help run the B&B, in between his classes at UNO.
When they get to town and find out that the supposed Bed-and-Breakfast is actually a Bait and BBQ attached to a run-down house, Sam’s sure he’s going to be proved right.
He didn’t count on Dean’s stubborn determination or on his brother’s slowly growing romance with alpha-male Benny Lafitte; local fisherman, short order cook, and descendent of the town’s namesake—the infamous 19^th century pirate, Jean Lafitte.  When Millie’s alpha-male-sire turns up unexpectedly and tries to claim both Dean and his daughter, Dean is determined to keep his family safe. Can Dean earn the happily ever he deserves—or will it all blow away like dust in the wind?

STORY ON A03

I should be writing...but it's been so damn long since I posted anything that I thought I'd jump on board with this like a lemming.

Hope everyone is doing okay, whether working in an essential service, from home, or temporarily stood down...I'm constantly thinking about everyone all around the world and hoping for the best. I work in aged care and my husband works for a business that supplies batteries to medical facilities, so we're apparently 'essential'. We're most worried about our daughter-in-law and step grandson who are stuck in NYC with her family while our son is here with us finishing his course (now suspended due to the virus). It's scary times for NYC right now and we're gutted we couldn't bring them here before the boarders closed.

Anyhoo...

Driven 100 mph – yes
Ridden in a helicopter - no
Gone zip lining - yes
Been to an NFL game - saw a kids game of this sport when I visited a friend in Iowa, does that count? I've been to a few AFL and A-League games (different sports but the equivalent for my country, maybe?)
Been to Canada - yes
Visited Florida - no
Visited Mexico - no
Visited Vegas - no
Eaten alone at a restaurant- yes
Ability to read music - yes (although it's been a few years, I'm probably very rusty!)
Ridden a motorcycle - yes
Ridden a horse – yes
Stayed in a hospital – yes
Donated blood - no -- and I really should do that
Been snow skiing - yes
Been to Disney World/Disney Land - no
Slept outside – yes
Driven a stick shift - yes (although we call them 'manuals')
Ridden in an 18 wheeler - no
Ridden in a police car? - no
Driven a boat - yes (only took the helm briefly, but I guess it still counts?)
Eaten escargot - yes (nicer than I expected!)
Been on a cruise - no (was considering it for next holiday...now? No way. Hot beds of disease, are cruise ships)
Run out of gas - no
Been on TV – People have told me they saw me on TV when I was at the soccer, but nothing that I've seen
Eaten sushi – yes
Seen a UFO – I...don't think so?
Been bungie jumping - Hell no.

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it! We had a lovely day here in Oz. Perfect weather, great food, great company. I hope you and yours had/are having a safe and happy day. :)

Also...I wrote HellSpawn Christmas smut for Sleepyvixen over on A03.


Title: It’s beginning to look a lot like f*ck this (A Hellspawn Timestamp)
Author: zara_zee
Genre: Slash, Dark Romance.
Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~3,200
Disclaimer: I have borrowed the names and faces of certain actors without their knowledge or approval. Said actors belong to themselves and I have merely cast them in my fiction. Not a word of this is true; I’ve just got them playing parts.
Any family members mentioned are strictly OCs as I don’t personally like to cast non-actors in my fictional dramas.
Warnings: References to abusive childhood. Light BDSM. Kink. Rimming. Spanking. Christmas smut.

Summary: Jared really, really hates Christmas. Jensen tries to make it better.


LINK TO A03

Title: Once a King in Narnia, always a King in Narnia
Author: zara_zee
Artist: dizzojay
Beta: Endlessevelina
Genre: Slash, Fae, French Mistake ‘verse, Written for 2019 spn_reversebang.
Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Story Rating: NC-17
Art Rating: K
Word Count: ~ 8,800
Disclaimer: ‘Jared’, ‘Jensen’, 'Misha" and ‘Genevieve’ are based on the characters portrayed in the episode The French Mistake, albeit with some of my own twists. These are fictional characters, folks. I don’t own them and this is written for fun, not profit.
Notes: Title is a quote from the CS Lewis classic The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. I only learned recently that CS Lewis was inspired to write the book based on a picture of a faun carrying an umbrella and parcels, in the snow. Which I guess makes the book a Reversebang? J
Thank you to Dizzojay for once again inspiring me with her art. I nearly passed on this because I'm a bit of a wuss and I'm terrible at writing non-AU, but then I realized, hey, there's that French Mistake work-around you can use. So here we have it! :)
Thanks also to my longsuffering beta reader and to the mods of this fabulous challenge. It's one of my favourites and I'm so glad I got to play again!! :)

Summary: It’s not every day an enchanted wardrobe containing a portal to another Realm turns up on set. It is, unfortunately, an everyday occurrence for Jensen’s co-star to curiously poke at potentially dangerous things. When Jared decides to channel his inner Sam Winchester and go looking for Narnia, despite Jensen’s warnings, Jensen figures he’d better channel his inner Dean Winchester and go in after him. 

What they find, changes everything.


LINK TO STORY ON A03
LINK TO ART ON LIVEJOURNAL