xculturalfamily

Well, it was I who got married (finally!). We had our first month anniversary yesterday. ^^

Anyway, to my topic... I have noticed funny thing in our relationship and as I have never confronted this before in relationships which consisted of periods of being away from each other (around stone age when I was still dating Finns) I am prone to think this has to do with cultural issues.

The thing is that every time we get together for longer period of time with Husband we tend to argue about every little thing for the first month and then all the sudden become like two lovebirds again.
And only thing I can imagine causing this is that we have minor cultural shock every time we have spent time separated by continent or few and get back in the same space.

Any thoughts?

An interesting article about parenting in Germany, France, Italy and NYC here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/8564510.stm

For many religions and cultures, it's the holiday season. I'd love to hear some of the differences you have encountered in how your own and adopted cultures celebrate- I don't mean Christian vs Muslim festivals or whatever, but cultural differences in different countries for family get-togethers, especially around the holiday season.

For example, where I am from (Switzerland/ Ireland), you would meet up with family, but it would usually only be for either a meal or for a few drinks afterwards- the get-together usually would not last longer than a few hours. Also, it would usually only be close family (siblings, grandparents if alive), and on another day maybe aunts and uncles from one side of the family, then another day aunts and uncles from the other side of the family... so you may end up with 4 or 5 days of celebrations, but each only lasting a few hours, all being in different houses, and rarely more than 12-16 people. Now, I am in the USA; we live in Arkansas, as does one of DH's (who is from here) sister and brothers. But we are all driving up to South Dakota (10+ hours drive, me heavily pregnant and with 21 months old twin toddlers) to his parents, where there will be some 40+ people for Thanksgiving. Even if we meet up here locally, the start of the gathering would be before dinner (which is always late), then for dinner and then games and stuff after, until late into the night.

Do any of you find there are huge differences in the types of newborn/ baby clothes available wherever you now live vs wherever you are from?

We had twins in Ireland two years ago; we have since moved to Arkansas, USA and I am pregnant again. We just found out our next one is going to be a little girl (healthy and measuring ahead a few days!), so decided to go out celebrate and buy some clothes for her, as we have nothing for newborn- 6 months (gave it all away when we left Ireland, didn't think I could get pregnant naturally!). The twins practically lived in long sleeved onesies/ babygros for the first 6 months, because the buttons at the crotch made them easy to change and we didn't feel bad for throwing a cheap onesie away if it was badly soiled. Well, I cannot find anything like that here! There are some very cute "going out" outfits, and some of them are much cheaper than what I could get in Ireland (Walmart, Target etc), but it is very difficult to find onesies, and none of the trousers/ overalls etc seem to have buttons at the crotch to open. Even the few I have found are more "dressy", there aren't really any plain white ones.

The other thing I noticed is that the vast majority of clothes here are gender specific; either pink or blue, have frills, princesses on them or trucks and batman....

What differences have you noticed?

Good time of the day. :)

I just found the community, obviously also joined, and thought it would be courteous to get this over with. *grin*

We are a Finnish (myself) - British (my fiance) couple in our early thirties, currently living in Finland and planning to get married as soon as he gets the paperwork done in Spain, where he used to reside in (before he moved here), and returns back home.
Our relationship is more intercultural than you could imagine based on our citizenships (though he actually has a double citizenship): I have been brought up somewhat out of the local culture and my Better Half is not just British, but his roots are in Western Africa and Caribbean area and in addition to that he has lived all around the world since he was a child so there has been quite many cultures affecting to the man he grew up to be.

No children yet, though we love kids and would love to have a big family (G-d willing), but as we have been together only for a year (and one week) it's not that much of a surprise.

Well... I have never been good at introductions, so if you have any questions just ask - I am far better at answering. :)

Has anyone here had pregnancies in different countries (asp. the USA and another country) and found the differences difficult to deal with?

My first pregnancy was in Ireland, and twins, we had health insurance and paid extra for private care. I am now pregnant again, with a singleton, living in Arkansas, no maternity cover (we are self-paying, I didn't want to go the welfare route and local doc and hospital give great discounts for self-paying). I feel like I am pregnant the first time again, everything is so different! Not better or worse (well, some thing better, some worse- some just different). It's little things such as in Ireland, they tell you to eat what you want (other than off-limits stuff such as unpasteurised cheese) and gain as much weight as happens, whereas here they say a pound a week in 2nd and 3rd trimester; to medium things- if you don't pay private in Ireland, you will be in a room with 5 other moms and newborns after delivery, whereas here all rooms are private; to big things such as in Ireland, VBAC is very encouraged and you would not get a RCS unless absolutely medically neccessary, c-section is never done for a big baby without long trial of labour, whereas here I have to fight for my VBAC and probably won't get it anyway.

I know this vision of expats (people living in a foreign country) does not apply to this community where there are usually family reasons for living abroad but it made me laugh as I recognise a lot of retired English people who live in the tourist areas on the Agean coast.

"Stand still, wimp – only failures run off to be expats"

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/jeremy_clarkson/article5992555.ece

Of course I don't agree with him! He is broadbrush generalising and being, I suspect, deliberately obnoxious. You should never put Gin on cornflakes. Vodka every time!

I found this community a while ago and decided today that I should join.  :)  I'm an American (with a pretty TCK upbringing in many different places) with a Slovak husband and one-year-old daughter.  We are currently in the UK for a two-year job assignment, but otherwise our home is Prague, Czech Republic (we met, married and had our child there, and intend to return).  I speak English and Czech and understand Slovak (Czech and Slovak are very, very similar).  My husband speaks Slovak/Czech and English and assorted other languages at varying levels of proficiency.  My daughter mostly babbles.

Or, as one friend recently put it, "These are my Czech friends except really she's American and he's Slovak and they live in England."

I'm always interested in meeting/reading about others in similar circumstances, especially since we're pretty much the only ones in the family who didn't marry someone from the same culture.  They love us, they just don't quite get it.  :)

Anyway, hi!

This is for those of you who lived in a country with a different language than your mother tongue for several years, so are well used to it. In my case, my mother tongue is Swiss German, but I have lived for half my life in English speaking countries (I am almost 35), first Ireland and for the last few months the USA. I do everything in English including counting, thinking, dreaming etc. But now I have kids (ten months old twins), and sing them lullabies, all the ones I sing are in Swiss German or German. I know English ones, but it just comes naturally to sing in German.

Do any of you have instances where you revert to your mother tongue?

Here's an interesting concept that doesn't cross easily between cultures... I'll keep it as short as I can!

My boyfriend is Chilean. His mom and most of his family immigrated to the U.S. about 10 years ago. His uncle and his cousin asked his mom if they could stay at her house for a few months in 2006, until they can find a place of their own. She agreed. They extended their stay to a year and a half, until his mom had to kick them out of the house. Fights ensued, but eventually they left. This, and many other situations, have shown that this family takes advantage of each other. Recently, his sister has asked his mom if her and her family can come up from Chile and stay for 2 - 3 months(family consisting of her husband and 2 small boys). His mom *happily* agreed! What?!

I feel this is crazy because:
1) I would never, ever ask my parents if I could move into their house(especially with a family) and stay for more than a week or two. My mom always said, "Guests are like fish. They start to smell after 3 days." Especially if I already had a place of my own! I feel like it would be an intrusion of their comfortable living space. Adding 4 additional people - to a house that is already small - I feel would be too much to ask of anyone, including my own parents.
2) They probably won't be paying for rent, utilities, or food. Why doesn't she see the same situation happening again? Does she ignore the fact that they might be using her too?

Is it just me, or are these people crazy for asking his mom to make room for 4 additional people, to feed and house them for FREE for multiple months when they already have a place of their own(and on a librarian's salary), in a house that is small, and the mother happily agreeing? Maybe it's my strong American sense of independency and "pulling yourself by your own bootstraps", but I consider myself open-minded and even this would cross the line for me! What do you think? Have you had experiences with guests who over-welcome their stay, but it would be perfectly legitimate in their culture?