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Ben Schwartz
@rejectedjokes
2026 Ben Schwartz & Friends Improv tour is up and running. Get tix using the link below. The Earliest Show TV series is coming soon. Sonic 4 premieres 3/19/27.
Los Angeles, CA
RejectedJokes.com
Joined March 2009
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  • Pinned
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    Ben Schwartz
    @rejectedjokes
    Mar 27
    All tickets for the 2026 improv tour are now on sale! We have newly added shows in Minneapolis, Phoenix & Austin. And 2nd shows added in NYC, Toronto & Medford. Every show is different & made up on the spot. Can’t wait to get back on stage. Get tickets at Rejectedjokes.com/tour
    84K
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    Ben Schwartz
    @rejectedjokes
    Mar 23, 2020
    What started as a gag birthday gift from my sister has turned into my greatest treasure.
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    Ben Schwartz
    @rejectedjokes
    Oct 26, 2019
    YOUR SON IS AN ABSOLUTE LEGEND.
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    Shawn Francis
    @TheOffsideRules
    Oct 26, 2019
    My son went to the school Halloween dance tonight dressed as Jean-Ralphio from Parks & Rec and I am HOWLING. #Entertainment720forLife
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    Ben Schwartz
    @rejectedjokes
    Jul 12, 2020
    Got to see my mom for the first time in 5 months today. Quarantined for 2 weeks, got COVID tested twice and when it was finally time to hug her, my arms went right through her because she was cake. Come on guys. That’s enough. Not everything has to be a cake. Where is my mom?
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    Ben Schwartz
    @rejectedjokes
    Oct 30, 2024
    Happy birthday papa. ❤️@hwinkler4real❤️
    2.1M
  • user avatar
    Ben Schwartz
    @rejectedjokes
    Jan 2, 2022
    May all your 2022 dreams come true… even if you have to fake your own death and move to Tajikistan to make it happen.
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    Ben Schwartz
    @rejectedjokes
    Sep 30, 2020
    THE HOST SHOULD BE ABLE TO MUTE MICROPHONES. I can’t believe I want this to be more like zoom. #Debates2020
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    Ben Schwartz
    @rejectedjokes
    Dec 27, 2018
    So sad that in just a few days bread and dessert will have calories again.
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    Ben Schwartz
    @rejectedjokes
    Mar 19, 2025
    Sonic 4 comes out in 2 years from today. #SonicMovie4
    944K
  • user avatar
    Ben Schwartz
    @rejectedjokes
    Aug 6, 2020
    I am 38 years old and still terrified every time I try to cut a bagel in half.
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    Ben Schwartz
    @rejectedjokes
    Jun 17, 2018
    Happy Father’s Day poppa @joe_keery
    00:00
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    Ben Schwartz
    @rejectedjokes
    Oct 8, 2020
    That’s a great question Susan, let me start by not answering it then finish by definitely not answering it. #VPDebate
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    Ben Schwartz
    @rejectedjokes
    May 5, 2020
    Dear Doctor Strange, which one of the 14 million outcomes are we currently in?
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    Ben Schwartz
    @rejectedjokes
    Nov 28, 2022
    Just found this from 8 years ago. I think it was cut but there was a scene from Parks where Jean-Ralphio had blonde streaks for no reason.