(Politely Knocking on my roommate who just tried to kill himself’s bedroom door) hey man, do you think this tweet is funny? “ what if paddington bear was iced out and drippin” is that good? Do you think it will get likes?
“I cannot empathize with the bugs,” “the humans are definitively the aggressors,” who fucking gives a shit. Do you even care about what’s really important??
Dog owner: he’s excited because he heard us say “walk” haha! He wants to eat at the table with us because he thinks he’s a person!
Cat owner: he is moody because he has loved and lost too bitterly, too painfully, to ever experience joy for the remainder of his lifetime.
(Steve Harvey on family feud) OK, alright now, “I need pussy from a girl with-“ and top answer on the board: need pussy from a girl with rickets! (Steve licks his lips hungrily)
Ok so girls are allowed to imagine the lady from queens gambit going to the euphoria high school and that’s “cool” but if I think about sonic the hedgehog racing Thomas the tank engine I’m “gay”
No. But I’ve been thinking about this boy’s fucked up love cushion for three straight years. Glad to see some there are some other diligent viewers out there 🫡
Using a hologram and advanced AI to generate and beam an image of the eight year old I struck and killed in a playground zone with my Ford F-350 into his bereaved family’s home, and making his voice ask them to drop the charges against “a simple man who just made a mistake”
