my friends and I were all texting each other apologizing frantically for being late and then we gradually put it together that we’re all on the same train
just passed another FTM in Central Park and eyed him suspiciously, trying to ascertain at a glance which one of us was taller/hotter/passed better. then I realized I was staring at Elliot Page himself
my boyfriend and I kissed on the street and a drunk lady called out “go home, boys!” but then confessed “I’ve always liked…I don’t want to say anything offensive, but I like couples like you”
my mom has a friend who’s so transphobic to me it actually surpasses being hurtful and becomes iconic diva behavior. yesterday, in front of two people who hadn’t met me yet, she loudly greeted me “Hi Frankie, or whatever we’re calling ourselves now!”
in my doctor’s appointment just now I mentioned my health insurance has been denying all my claims lately and I need to call them, and the doctor very dryly asked “were you in midtown yesterday?”
and one of them said, "I think you just got charged twice. On that can of kidney beans. Check your receipt."
I did, and they were right, and I was able to go back and get a $2.59 refund. thank you to my community
two middle-aged white guys in basketball shorts just walked past me and my boyfriend while we were kissing and one of them yelled semi-homophobically “WHOA! Those guys are REALLY ENJOYING it” and then quickly added, as if remembering, “Love is precious”
the two gay men behind me in the grocery line were whispering and pointing at me. I fantasized that they were marveling at my beauty, feared that they were mocking me. when I left the store, they chased me down the street. "Excuse me!" they called out until I turned around
after I stopped laughing, I got curious about how a bed-cooling system would work, so I started researching and I learned:
1) it's basically a glorified waterbed
2) the EightSleep subreddit is an addictive read. you cannot even begin to imagine all the ways this bed malfunctions
Woke up because my AI controlled bed is too cold. Went to adjust temperature and I can’t because the Eight Sleep app is currently broken. Can’t adjust by hand because I have a Pod3, not the upgraded Pod4 with physical controls.
Now I am stuck in a cold bed. This feels dystopian.
I’m bored of this prompt, let’s flip it around: what line sounds like an online meme but is actually from classic literature or an old film? I nominate one from Singin’ in the Rain: “She’s so refined. I think I’ll kill myself.”
there’s a genre of phrases that sound like they’re from the bible or like paradise lost, but really, really aren’t. like “there are cathedrals everywhere for those with the eyes to see” which is ofc a jordan peterson tweet about a bottle of evian. what are the others?
do you think Austin Powers is bisexual? obviously he’s tried it but do you think he liked it? I can’t decide and it’s consuming me. vote in the poll below
"understanding the joke" is not the only pleasure available to 7-year-olds. one of the bracing joys of learning to read as a kid is the surrender of allowing unfamiliar words and concepts to wash over you like a majestic ocean
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