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Dee
13.1K posts
user avatar
Dee
@figgled
john stamos won't return my emails
www.instagram.com/fidge
bsky.app/profile/figgle…
Joined March 2009
2,388
Following
54.2K
Followers
  • Pinned
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    Dee
    @figgled
    Aug 1, 2016
    yes, we are a highly diverse company. susan in accounts is a goth
  • user avatar
    Dee
    @figgled
    Feb 13, 2020
    overheard a teenage boy buying a Valentine's card that said 'we are the same kind of weird'. shop assistant said 'is this for your girlfriend?' and he said 'no, it's for my grandma' :')
  • user avatar
    Dee
    @figgled
    Sep 11, 2024
    I used the label maker
    5.3M
  • user avatar
    Dee
    @figgled
    May 12, 2025
    My gym has new clothing policies and I’m not exactly sure what it’s based on
    7M
  • user avatar
    Dee
    @figgled
    Sep 14, 2017
    Before u leave the house, think of the acronym 'WOWEE' Wallet phOne Wkeys Egg Egg (backup)
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    Dee
    @figgled
    Aug 14, 2025
    Working with seniors confirms how common chosen names are. Old blokes are like Hi I’m Jack and I can’t find their record so after quite some time they say Well it’s Robert. But I go by Jack. Because my middle name is John. Whatever queen live your truth
    2.3M
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    Dee
    @figgled
    Dec 2, 2021
    Cars should have a second, friendlier horn to say thank you, or if you want to let people know you drove past a cool animal
  • user avatar
    Dee
    @figgled
    Oct 30, 2017
    Can we stop calling sexual assault a ‘sex scandal’? Like if a person stabs someone it’s not a ‘knife debacle’
  • user avatar
    Dee
    @figgled
    Oct 4, 2020
    Watching a movie and loudly saying ‘couldn’t do that now. because of covid’ every ten seconds
  • user avatar
    Dee
    @figgled
    Jul 18, 2017
    Oh what so only roosters are allowed to start the day with screaming
  • user avatar
    Dee
    @figgled
    Aug 22, 2019
    hot girl summer is over, make way for crab boy winter. scuttle about sideways. wave that one terrible big claw around. disgusting
  • user avatar
    Dee
    @figgled
    Oct 25, 2024
    Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular
    861K
  • user avatar
    Dee
    @figgled
    Nov 29, 2022
    It’s so funny when dogs are visibly tired. Big night was it mate
  • user avatar
    Dee
    @figgled
    Feb 6, 2022
    Whole generation of little freaks who’d take a digital camera to parties, get shitfaced and then calmly upload 100 photos to Facebook with individual captions like ‘g00d TimeZ’

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