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Check out my new standup special "Intrusive Thoughts"
youtu.be/46cxhMQYH74
Fahim Anwar
19.2K posts
Fahim Anwar
@fahimanwar
Stand-up comedian | Full sets on YouTube | Tour dates ↓
- Drake is Kawhi Leonard’s emotion surrogate.
- I believe it was Jesus who said "Why should my tax dollars be used to keep you alive?"
- Facelift jab from the man fighting baldness by growing 3 hairs a mile long and wrapping them around his head like a pube turban...to Mar-a-Lago 3 nights in a row around New Year's Eve, and insisted on joining me. She was bleeding badly from a face-lift. I said no!
- Couple years ago on my brother’s birthday we were at Snoqualmie Casino. He wanted me to hit the dance floor because he thought it would look absurd and he wanted to film it. He was right.
00:00 - Mario in the streets but a Wario in the sheets. Amirite ladies?!?!?
- My dad has never approved of my standup comedy career. I just picked him up from the airport and he proceeded to tell me how funny the Southwest flight attendant was. This is trolling mastery and the best part is it’s completely unintentional. Pure raw talent.
- Weird the NFL wouldn’t run this. The Goatface Sketch Special on Comedy Central is Toniiiiiiiiiight!!!!! 10p (cc: @hasanminhaj @alicomedy @AthiraS @goatfacecomedy)
00:00 - U ever let ur mask hang off one ear and pretend ur a fighter pilot
- Saw the Marco Rubio town hall clip. Thought it needed something.
00:00 - How pissed would u be if Listerine killed Covid this whole time
- Look. Guys. I’m gonna drink coffee at a diner until my knee bounces uncontrollably and that’s just the way it is.
