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chaos robot 🤖
110.4K posts
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chaos robot 🤖
@deestiv
flaws stitched together with good intentions🤘🏽
New York, USA
Joined February 2010
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  • Pinned
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    chaos robot 🤖
    @deestiv
    Jan 18, 2019
    If you are ever wondering if I’d like to see a picture of your dog, the answer is and will always be yes.
  • user avatar
    chaos robot 🤖
    @deestiv
    Nov 1, 2024
    My favorite trick or treat experiences from last night: - the group of 5 teen girls who came dressed as Disney Princesses, my niece seeing them and saying Aurora is her favorite and hearing the girl dressed as Aurora say to her friends excitedly, “I was her favorite!!!”
    2.4M
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    chaos robot 🤖
    @deestiv
    May 9, 2024
    I’m convinced the reason people hate on female-coded workouts is because they’re often fun, and they themselves are miserable doing any kind of fitness and think that unless you are miserable while doing it, it’s not effective.
    user avatar
    BowTiedYukon
    @BowTiedYukon
    May 7, 2024
    Women will do anything other than traditional cardio, weight training, count calories and stick to a program long enough to see results
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    Grappler
    00:00
    user avatar
    Grappler
    1.6M
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    chaos robot 🤖
    @deestiv
    Apr 18, 2024
    In the 25 years she’s been playing this character, she’s done more for rape victims than actual cops so this absolutely tracks. ACAB does not include Olivia Benson idc idc
    user avatar
    New York Post
    @nypost
    Apr 17, 2024
    ‘Law and Order: SVU’ star Mariska Hargitay mistaken for real-life cop by lost child trib.al/6EDpYNe
    2.8M
  • user avatar
    chaos robot 🤖
    @deestiv
    May 20, 2024
    That build-a-bear conversation is a good reminder that as parents, you kinda have to be prepared to deal with a bunch of stuff you don’t personally like or find enjoyable because your kids fucking LOVE it and it brings them joy and isn’t that what it’s all about anyway?
    604K
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    chaos robot 🤖
    @deestiv
    Mar 16, 2024
    She’s right. In fact, EVERY worker should be able to take time off when they aren’t feeling well or in pain that would make them unproductive, which is why I wholeheartedly support unlimited PTO policies 😊
    user avatar
    wilder
    @wilderpatriot
    Mar 14, 2024
    She feels that women should be able to go home and take time off work during their menstrual cycles and asks, “why is this not a thing?”
    00:00
    462K
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    chaos robot 🤖
    @deestiv
    Dec 20, 2023
    When I was little, we used to spend Christmas Eve at my abuela's apartment in Brooklyn with the whole family. All of the presents would be wrapped already and under the tree. Want to know how the magic was kept alive for us kids??
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    shay😼.
    @Youknowshaay
    Dec 20, 2023
    y’all ruined the santa thing for kids nowadays like why tf are there gifts already wrapped under the tree ??? when i was a kid , the adults wrapped them the night before while we were sleep lmao
    2M
  • user avatar
    chaos robot 🤖
    @deestiv
    Jul 18, 2025
    yall have been calling JLH fat since the 2000s when she looked like this, so you understand why I can’t take yall fucking seriously 🙃
    user avatar
    Isabella Moody
    @IsabellaIsMoody
    Jul 16, 2025
    From hottie with a body to FRIDGE CITY! 🤢
    468K
  • user avatar
    chaos robot 🤖
    @deestiv
    Jan 28, 2024
    yall I’m 💀
    796K
  • user avatar
    chaos robot 🤖
    @deestiv
    Oct 27, 2024
    My most boomer complain is becoming why if I have a savings card at a grocery store, do I also need to scan and apply digital coupons to receive savings? Why make me go through the extra steps when im already scanning my savings/membership card?! Just apply the digital coupon??!?
    590K
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    chaos robot 🤖
    @deestiv
    Nov 1, 2024
    Replying to @deestiv
    - Jack getting SO excited when his friend from the bus stop came to our house, he wanted to give him the candy & his mom took a photo of them in front our house - mom of a little boy who was non-verbal giving me a big smile when he signed “thank you” after taking candy
    195K
  • user avatar
    chaos robot 🤖
    @deestiv
    Aug 17, 2024
    Replying to @LadyVoldemort09
    Literally his first mistake was giving in and taking the kids with them. “She refused to stay”, sir she is 2, she can’t go anywhere else unless you take her. She would have been fine once yall left, I bet.
    214K
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    chaos robot 🤖
    @deestiv
    Jun 17, 2024
    Babies deciding to yell as opposed to simply going to sleep when they’re tired will always be the most irrational part of parenting to me, having me walking around in circles in my living room with a crying baby like “have you tried closing your eyes about this?” 🥴😂
    246K
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    chaos robot 🤖
    @deestiv
    Mar 2, 2024
    I’m gonna warn everyone right now - if I ever in my life bite into a brownie and taste a raisin, I’m taking that as an act of war and invitation to fight 🫨
    user avatar
    HomeMaker Megs 🐙
    @mrsmeganeverly
    Mar 2, 2024
    Baking brownies WITHOUT raisins as God intended.
    395K