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Brian Jordan Alvarez
21.8K posts
user avatar
Brian Jordan Alvarez
@brianjoralvarez
hulu.com/series/15a6a52…
Born July 10
Joined November 2014
1,354
Following
104.1K
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  • user avatar
    Brian Jordan Alvarez
    @brianjoralvarez
    Jan 15, 2021
    Ppl born in 2000 are now 40. Let that sink in
  • user avatar
    Brian Jordan Alvarez
    @brianjoralvarez
    Mar 27, 2020
    Ppl born in 2000 are now 36......let that sink in
  • user avatar
    Brian Jordan Alvarez
    @brianjoralvarez
    Jul 3, 2021
    I love triscuits. It’s like eating a basket
  • user avatar
    Brian Jordan Alvarez
    @brianjoralvarez
    Aug 6, 2020
    I’m not gay. When I hook up with a guy I am doing it as an ally
  • user avatar
    Brian Jordan Alvarez
    @brianjoralvarez
    Mar 5, 2019
    People born in 1996 are now SIXTY. Let that sink in
  • user avatar
    Brian Jordan Alvarez
    @brianjoralvarez
    Jul 30, 2023
    you ever get to a restaurant and you’re not allowed to order like normal. cause they have some little game they want you to play
    3.6M
  • user avatar
    Brian Jordan Alvarez
    @brianjoralvarez
    Oct 1, 2020
    Not everyone is gay. But some people are. And those people are gay
  • user avatar
    Brian Jordan Alvarez
    @brianjoralvarez
    Aug 13, 2023
    listen. we cannot kill this fucking pig. there’s a spider nearby who keeps writing things in her web and they seem to be friends
    1.2M
  • user avatar
    Brian Jordan Alvarez
    @brianjoralvarez
    Jul 25, 2023
    it is crazy that when you get an oil stain on a shirt it’s like game over
    2M
  • user avatar
    Brian Jordan Alvarez
    @brianjoralvarez
    Apr 30, 2022
    toddler on the plane told me I’m wearing a green shirt and he is so fucking right
  • user avatar
    Brian Jordan Alvarez
    @brianjoralvarez
    Jun 21, 2023
    It has happened again. Here I am again, I’m laughing, I’m a little sad, I can’t believe it. I can’t believe I let this keep happening. I have been routed by Apple Maps to a Starbucks that I thought was a real Starbucks. But it’s inside a fucking target.
    1.4M
  • user avatar
    Brian Jordan Alvarez
    @brianjoralvarez
    Dec 27, 2022
    Hey! Sorry, I just saw your text. I was refusing to open it so that it wouldn’t say “read“
    1.5M
  • user avatar
    Brian Jordan Alvarez
    @brianjoralvarez
    Jul 31, 2023
    we all have that one friend who is someone we met and became friends with
    1.6M
  • user avatar
    Brian Jordan Alvarez
    @brianjoralvarez
    Jan 19, 2021
    You have to send hahahahahas of different lengths or it will seem fake