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Phil Jamesson
20.1K posts
user avatar
Phil Jamesson
@PhilJamesson
find me elsewhere nowadays
New York, NY
linktr.ee/philjamesson
Joined December 2008
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  • user avatar
    Phil Jamesson
    @PhilJamesson
    Feb 18, 2022
    i never should have gone back to school
  • user avatar
    Phil Jamesson
    @PhilJamesson
    May 6, 2020
    when i was a kid, i thought that laminating things was cool. now im an adult and i know that laminating things is extremely fucking cool
  • user avatar
    Phil Jamesson
    @PhilJamesson
    Sep 10, 2019
    in hell they just make you hang out with yourself from four years earlier
  • user avatar
    Phil Jamesson
    @PhilJamesson
    Nov 18, 2023
    i swear these teachers hate me
    9.4M
  • user avatar
    Phil Jamesson
    @PhilJamesson
    Oct 16, 2024
    weird
    user avatar
    Engineering
    X
    @Engineering
    Oct 16, 2024
    Soon we’ll be launching a change to how the block function works. If your posts are set to public, accounts you have blocked will be able to view them, but they will not be able to engage (like, reply, repost, etc.).
    3.1M
  • user avatar
    Phil Jamesson
    @PhilJamesson
    Feb 17, 2019
    me: (counting on my fingers) bouncer: i just asked how old you are me: can you shut the fuck up for a second
  • user avatar
    Phil Jamesson
    @PhilJamesson
    Dec 27, 2021
    your true love gave you eight maids a milking? cool. just one question. what the fuck are you talking about
  • user avatar
    Phil Jamesson
    @PhilJamesson
    Sep 4, 2020
    wait, they can lose 44 billion in one day and they're still totally fine? this gives me an idea...
    user avatar
    New York Post
    @nypost
    Sep 4, 2020
    Tech tycoons lose $44 billion to one-day stock market rout trib.al/LSAfax9
  • user avatar
    Phil Jamesson
    @PhilJamesson
    Dec 8, 2021
    i think the mandela effect is fun because rather than admit you've been misspelling something your whole life, you get to say you simply fell into a different, incorrect universe
  • user avatar
    Phil Jamesson
    @PhilJamesson
    Mar 16, 2022
    i know today's date (03162022) doesn't mean much to anyone else but it's both my social security number AND the last eight digits of my credit card. plus it's my mother's maiden name
  • user avatar
    Phil Jamesson
    @PhilJamesson
    Jun 28, 2024
    "free in-store pickup?" yeah. thats what store is.
    1.7M
  • user avatar
    Phil Jamesson
    @PhilJamesson
    Mar 24, 2019
    shampoo bottle: Contains No Parabens! me (has no idea what that is or means): good.
  • user avatar
    Phil Jamesson
    @PhilJamesson
    Nov 6, 2024
    me at 6:45 pm: eh the results tonight can only stress me out. prob just gonna ignore them entirely :) me at 9:45 pm: WHERE ARE THE REST OF THE VOTES FROM MECKLENBURG COUNTY NORTH CAROLINA
    1.6M
  • user avatar
    Phil Jamesson
    @PhilJamesson
    Jan 28, 2022
    dartmouth? yeah that sounds like a great school... if you like eating darts