Matt Goldich (@MattGoldich) / X

Matt Goldich

25.2K posts

Matt Goldich

@MattGoldich

I write jokes for @latenightseth. Stand-up special NO QUESTIONS ASKED out now! youtu.be/VWmFPa4vL0Y

New York, NY

linktr.ee/mattgoldich

Joined January 2009

Pinned
Matt Goldich
@MattGoldich
Dec 22, 2025
I'm not gonna post on here as much in 2026. (I already don't post on here as much.) I'm not a hero, I'm still going to check it, but if we're friends or you like my Tweets please find me all the other places. Instagram. Bluesky. I think I'm on TikTok? I dunno, Threads?
7.9K
Matt Goldich
@MattGoldich
Sep 20, 2020
It always warmed my heart that RBG and Scalia were friends. I hope she is up in heaven wondering where he is
Matt Goldich
@MattGoldich
Apr 12, 2023
Hopefully Peacock doesn’t get any ideas from this.
Variety
@Variety
Apr 12, 2023
HBO Max to Be Renamed ‘Max’ With Addition of Discovery+ Content variety.com/2023/digital/n…
4.2M
Matt Goldich
@MattGoldich
Aug 31, 2024
Gonna go to his funeral just to use the bathroom
New York Post
@nypost
Aug 27, 2024
Leonard Riggio, who built Barnes & Noble into largest US bookstore chain, dies at 83 trib.al/Ztl60sd
3.4M
Matt Goldich
@MattGoldich
Aug 21, 2024
Me when I finally poop on vacation
00:00
4.4M
Matt Goldich
@MattGoldich
Jun 27, 2023
About 40 years late on this but just realized “Chips Ahoy” is a pun
4.1M
Matt Goldich
@MattGoldich
Jun 23, 2023
Drafted 13th but could move into the top 10 after the free skate
3.4M
Matt Goldich
@MattGoldich
May 22, 2023
“Babe was actually a terrible pig. I hated him, and I’m glad he’s dead.”
1.3M
Matt Goldich
@MattGoldich
Dec 7, 2024
Watch it get destroyed next week by Alabama Cathedral 47-10
New York Post
@nypost
Dec 7, 2024
Notre Dame Cathedral reopens 5 years after fire nearly destroyed it
00:00
1.3M
Matt Goldich
@MattGoldich
Mar 1, 2021
My great uncle is 93, immunocompromised and doesn’t know how to use a computer. I’ve spent DAYS online trying to get him to contribute to the discourse about Wandavision
Matt Goldich
@MattGoldich
Jan 29, 2023
Uh-oh, the 49ers’ 5th string quarterback is George Santos
1.1M
Matt Goldich
@MattGoldich
Oct 21, 2019
Congratulations to Dennis Quaid and his fiancee on their engagement.
Matt Goldich
@MattGoldich
Jul 17, 2024
Maybe Biden would have a better chance if we nominated him as a comedy
248K
Matt Goldich
@MattGoldich
Aug 13, 2019
Joe Crowley is the only white man who never wanted to debate AOC