Log inSign up
Maia Bittner
40.6K posts
user avatar
Maia Bittner
@maiab
TMI tweets about tech and mom life. ex-engineer turned fintech nerd. Investing in @olincollege alumni with @parcelbvc and in women with @xfactorventures
Bellingham, WA
maiabittner.com
Joined October 2007
2,185
Following
28.9K
Followers
  • user avatar
    Maia Bittner
    @maiab
    Jan 18, 2025
    Replying to @txsalth2o
    it’s called a shower because you shower them with gifts. you can take issue with the existence of the concept, but it’s a little bizarre to say the parties should still be thrown but the premise should be changed. I’m sure it would be fine if you showed up without a gift. (again,
    423K
  • user avatar
    Maia Bittner
    @maiab
    Dec 22, 2024
    679K
  • user avatar
    Maia Bittner
    @maiab
    Jul 24, 2024
    Replying to @tallsnail
    so funny!
    user avatar
    Maia Bittner
    @maiab
    Apr 2, 2023
    Replying to @p_millerd
    I did INFANT for occupation and the passport officer burbled at her “I see here you are an infant, are good at being an infant?”
    410K
  • user avatar
    Maia Bittner
    @maiab
    Jan 13, 2022
    ok my friends are starting to have serious things go wrong with their bodies and they are fucking up going to the doctor. Y’all. here’s my cheat sheet:
  • user avatar
    Maia Bittner
    @maiab
    Dec 20, 2021
    I am surprised and disappointed that living in a house with a great view didn’t solve all the problems in my life
  • user avatar
    Maia Bittner
    @maiab
    Nov 3, 2024
    Replying to @StardustNova27
    Eleanor and Chidi
    346K
  • user avatar
    Maia Bittner
    @maiab
    Apr 2, 2023
    Replying to @p_millerd
    I did INFANT for occupation and the passport officer burbled at her “I see here you are an infant, are good at being an infant?”
    700K
  • user avatar
    Maia Bittner
    @maiab
    Dec 16, 2024
    several times per day my two year old will ask “see mama underwear?” and I pull down the side of my pants and she identifies the color of my underwear, contrast it with hers, discuss the style, etc, and I feel like at some point I need to come clean with her that this is not
    250K
  • user avatar
    Maia Bittner
    @maiab
    Dec 25, 2024
    I do feel that a lot of my amorphous angst about “is this really what life is” was just 100% solved by having kids
    319K
  • user avatar
    Maia Bittner
    @maiab
    Aug 31, 2025
    my three year old is explaining to me how when she was born she was wearing a backpack and I’m like you know, I was there too… and I’m pretty sure you were not
    43K
  • user avatar
    Maia Bittner
    @maiab
    Feb 3, 2022
    hey AirPods - if I am actively on a phone call on my phone, I never ever ever ever want you to switch to my laptop instead
  • user avatar
    Maia Bittner
    @maiab
    Mar 31, 2024
    why are Apple free trials so much less friendly than other apps?
    695K
  • user avatar
    Maia Bittner
    @maiab
    Jan 13, 2022
    Replying to @maiab
    4. every problem that a man has is more important than any problem a woman has. if you’re a woman, speak to how this issue creates a problem for you husband (or make one up).
    This Post is from an account that no longer exists. Learn more
  • user avatar
    Maia Bittner
    @maiab
    May 10, 2022
    help I’m being pitched on venmo

New to X?

Sign up now to get your own personalized timeline!

Create account

By signing up, you agree to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, including Cookie Use.

Terms of Service|Privacy Policy|Cookie Policy|Accessibility|Ads info|© 2026 X Corp.
Don't miss what's happening
People on X are the first to know.
Log inSign up