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when your girlfriend runs into her friend and you’re stuck with the other boyfriend
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Luke Mones
8,894 posts
Luke Mones
@LukeMones
comedian
- Shoutout to these little guys. No better snack then cheese inside a candle
- I watched House for the first time and was like “wow why isn’t this more popular” and it turns out it came out in 2004 and was the most popular show in the world for 8 years
- Today at 0800 hours I was informed that my 3rd grade taekwondo class had portraits taken...this is my story
- i love exposed brick. sure i see bricks outside all the time, but once they're inside? that’s when things really change for me
- DENTAL HYGIENIST: your teeth and gums are moments from death. Quit your job so you can floss 16 times an hour. I hate you! DENTIST: looks good!
- you ever have a friend become a doctor and are like "oh no...are doctors dumb"
- “actually we’ve met before” okay well I don’t remember you. Have you considered being less forgettable and insignificant
- I love when your phone gets old and it just starts acting haunted
- how is beauty and the beast a “tale as old as time”? a lady hooks up with a big dog, and all the candles in the house start talking? I hope that hasn’t happened before
- You gotta love how every New Year’s Eve CNN is like “instead of the news tonight everyone who works for us is gonna get blackout on live tv”
- Every time Biden coughs, it feels like it could be THE cough
- The CDC says you can stop isolating if “the vibes are off”
- I love when they turn a beautiful old building into a chain store. Just a CVS with massive chandeliers like “this was americas first post office! Welcome to hell”