Grant Slatton
14.4K posts
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Grant Slatton
@GrantSlatton
Recent writing at grantslatton.com/latest Formerly built the world's fastest filesystem at AWS, now the fastest spreadsheet at rowzero.com
Seattle, WA
grantslatton.com
Joined April 2011
919
Following
20.9K
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  • user avatar
    Grant Slatton
    @GrantSlatton
    Jun 20, 2024
    Ok so since Mr Beast proved you can just go dig wells in Africa and get drinking water to hundreds of thousands of people Why hasn't this been replicated & scaled up by some governments / billionaires?? You can just do things
    9.1M
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    Grant Slatton
    @GrantSlatton
    Feb 3, 2025
    it's wild how far you can get in japan not speaking the language, but japanizing english words me: hello, a hot chocolate please barista: <doesn't understand face> me: ehhhโ€ฆ hotto chokoratto barista: oohhhh okay
    2.4M
  • user avatar
    Grant Slatton
    @GrantSlatton
    Aug 9, 2024
    Some random guy walked off with my laptop from the TSA security checkpoint TSA has him on video and knows his name but canโ€™t go to his gate, thatโ€™s a Port of Seattle police thing Port of Seattle Police are on shift change and canโ€™t get anyone to me Why is everything like this
    4.7M
  • user avatar
    Grant Slatton
    @GrantSlatton
    Mar 25, 2025
    tremendous alpha right now in sending your wife photos of yall converted to studio ghibli anime
    53M
  • user avatar
    Grant Slatton
    @GrantSlatton
    May 31, 2024
    My French friends always made fun of my American accent when I speak French One day I decided to do just the most outrageously over-the-top stereotypical accent when speaking โ€œWow Grant your French got *way* better, what did you change???โ€ The French are a parody of themselves
    1.8M
  • user avatar
    Grant Slatton
    @GrantSlatton
    Jan 6, 2025
    the elites don't want you to know this, but you can trivially pop out the crappy plastic wheels of your office chair and replace them with insanely smooth-rolling skate wheels honestly probably the best < $20 home office upgrade there is
    2.3M
  • user avatar
    Grant Slatton
    @GrantSlatton
    Aug 2, 2025
    before i begin my presentation, i would like to acknowledge that we are gathered here on future chinese land
    938K
  • user avatar
    Grant Slatton
    @GrantSlatton
    Feb 5, 2025
    it's weird visiting european art museums because you'll just stumble across famous paintings you recognize and they're often just hanging in the museum like any other painting, no fanfare ran into this one while visiting hamburg in 2011
    5.5M
  • user avatar
    Grant Slatton
    @GrantSlatton
    Feb 25, 2025
    was once sparring with a 220 lb guy who deadlifts 600 lbs had me pinned down and was squeezing me so hard i could feel myself losing consciousness but before that, a longtime cramped spot in my back went THUNK and i felt immediate and lasting relief
    653K
  • user avatar
    Grant Slatton
    @GrantSlatton
    Aug 23, 2024
    LinkedIn resume of the most talented engineer I ever worked with at AWS Confirms all my priors
    775K
  • user avatar
    Grant Slatton
    @GrantSlatton
    Jun 10, 2025
    Within 5 years I predict a UI trend emphasizing sharp corners, no animation whatsoever, and sub-millisecond snappiness of all controls
    950K
  • user avatar
    Grant Slatton
    @GrantSlatton
    Aug 10, 2025
    need a term for when an expensive, luxury experience is messed up by anomalous penny-pinching decisions like putting single-ply toilet paper in a $1000/night hotel bathroom "MBA brain" or "private equity smell" probably fit
    586K
  • user avatar
    Grant Slatton
    @GrantSlatton
    Sep 4, 2025
    my neighborhood had a "traditional hobo" for a few years no mental health or drug problems, just a guy who didn't want to work kept his camp site tidy, hung out with his dog, played guitar, made nice meals on a camp stove great guy, whole neighborhood liked him
    418K
  • user avatar
    Grant Slatton
    @GrantSlatton
    Jun 20, 2025
    walking to grocery, crazy guy screaming at people on sidewalk jacked asian guy & gf ahead of me guy is wearing a branded shirt from his MMA gym can tell he's ready to fulfill dream of highlight-reeling someone in front of his gf crazy guy senses this and crossed the street
    354K

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