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tate
9,543 posts
user avatar
tate
@50FirstTates
just body after body busting out of shit wood and hittin pavement
under a bridge
Joined January 2020
554
Following
33.1K
Followers
  • Pinned
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    tate
    @50FirstTates
    Oct 8, 2020
    asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. asked them the same thing until i got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life
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    tate
    @50FirstTates
    Oct 2, 2020
    can’t believe trump tested positive for covid when all he had to do was not get tested and then he simply wouldn’t have it
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    @50FirstTates
    Dec 3, 2024
    not the time, iphone
    8.4M
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    @50FirstTates
    Jun 23, 2024
    my roommate is so unserious
    9.6M
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    @50FirstTates
    Aug 17, 2020
    white ppl love to see a line forming behind them and being like “wow we got here at the perfect time”
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    @50FirstTates
    Dec 23, 2020
    if my parents told me they were adopting a brother and brought home an anthropomorphic rat named stuart i would fucking lose it
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    @50FirstTates
    Sep 8, 2020
    wife: we r out of salt me: 0mg
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    @50FirstTates
    Nov 24, 2020
    2020 appliances: *break within 2 years* 1970s refrigerator: i will outlive u and everyone u love. i am eternal. i am time itself
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    @50FirstTates
    Jan 23, 2023
    i mean i thought it was a good idea
    13M
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    @50FirstTates
    Jul 21, 2021
    me, looking at $900,000 houses with $76 in my bank account: interesting design choice but ok
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    @50FirstTates
    Jun 7, 2021
    geometry test: is this a triangle? me: yes geometry test: how do u know? me: what? geometry: PROVE its a triangle me: bro fucking look at it
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    tate
    @50FirstTates
    Oct 18, 2024
    “my intrusive thoughts won” all u did was eat a donut?? that’s not an intrusive thought. if my intrusive thoughts won i’d be on the news
    3.5M
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    tate
    @50FirstTates
    Sep 15, 2020
    why in the fuck would someone ever need to press a 7 on a microwave get that shit out of here
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    tate
    @50FirstTates
    May 26, 2024
    ???
    7.7M

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