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mood

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tired

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Ok, first off it is 2 in the morning. I was planning on going to bed early tonight and then I started this layout. Curse the evil rabid bunny going crazy in my mind and demanding bright colors. But it does make me laugh that you will most likely blind yourself by looking at the layout XD That is sick but oh so right!

Anyways credit where credit is do:
foto_decadent - Photos
Juvenile Casualty - Brushes
Funeralmonster - Brushes

And that is it for now I am off to bed. But I did manage to finally stop procrasinating and rped at CATS, sorry Telle about being so inconsistent, it's part of my charm.. really XD.

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bored

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Ok I finally got some icons done. Nothing too big I was just playing around with upping the saturation.

Rules:
+ Comment to say which you are taking
+ Credit wherever you use them

Previews:

( Say you come and stop the rain...Collapse )

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mood

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pessimistic

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This is going to be one of those on the verge of being emo entries, I don't care I just need to get it off my chest, and no one from school knows this journal really, so there ya go.

I am SO sick of whatever the hell is happening to me. I am probably the most obssesive person about how I look, I am self-concious, and I always have something wrong with myself. I hate the way I look, and then I try shutting out everyone that I care about. I turn my messenger on appear offline so I don't have to talk, avoid my parents, ect. About a week ago I was feeling like complete crap so I took this test to see if I am depressed, ect, see if I should maybe see a doctor. It said that it only counted if it was for 2 weeks or more, well it had been only a week so I was like let's just take this, it dosen't mean anything but I will get a better idea. So I answered it honestly, and it told me I should seek a doctor immediately. But the thing is ever since I took that quiz, I haven't had random crying spells, and the certain things that set me off haven't set me off.

I dunno if that is become I am creaped out and blocking out emotions, I have done that before, but not because I was creaped out just because I didn't want to deal. I keep trying to pinpoint all these things that *could* be why I act the way I do. I have done it ever since 7th grade or so. I don't think there is really anything wrong with me I think it is me wanting something to be wrong. I dunno, I am so sick of trying to figure out what it is.

And finally please do not reply to this. I know most people after reading this creapy ass thing are like let's give her some sympathy. But I don't want it I just need to write. I am still avoiding people, just trying to get over "I don't ever want to talk to anyone especially if they know that I am struggling with stuff".

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mood

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indifferent

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Ok, so I was looking over at Arwen's (Emma's) diary, which I swear I am going to comment in a second, because I am a horrible commenter. I finally removed all the communities on my friend list so now I can see when my friends actually update, anyways onto the test I stole from Emma's journa; because it is that cool.

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mood

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dorky

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Yes, I should be studying for the spanish test and oral that I will fail if I don't study because I know absolutely none of the vocab. I hate the end of the year, I become completely lazy and slack off causing all my grades to drop quiet rapidly.

New layout if you didn't notice, nothing completely great, I just felt like avoiding homework. I think I will make a new one celebrating when we get out of school, which is on thursday, Woot!

Before I write too much to completely avoid any attempt at studying I am going to get off, so I will update you all later, tomorow or the next time. Whichever, and now I am mumbling so that I can stall longer so.... Bye!

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mood

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artistic

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Finally I know I am a lazy arse, anyways I dunno what made me decide to do this theme, I think it was the fact I am putting off homework but you know, whatever. I am proud of it because it is my first time even attempting to make wings with absolutely nothing, just the handy pen tool and dodge and burn, they aren't horrible but I am going to try and work with them again soon.

Oh yea and I made about 4 or so icon tutorials in the base week or so, I forgot to update this journal to let you guys know. But if you go in my memories under my tutorials you will find all of them.

Love ya guys,

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mood

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annoyed

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Ok first off I would like to say I love Germans, and I am hugely german myself but this needs to get off my chest.

I HATE YOU FUCKING GERMAN WHORES WHO HACK MY FUCKING SITE I WILL MUTILATE YOUR POODLES WHEN I FIND YOU.

ahh.. I feel better now. If you didn't know, my site has been hacked for the 3rd time in two months. Honest to god, and my hosting company are just a bunch of pricks. Actually they are bunch of overseas people who don't have a clue how to speak english, and the one that left a messgage on my answering machine took about 5 minutes to think of his name. (I am not kidding)

So they suspended my site like they always do, and I have left a ticket, IT HAS BEEN OVER AN HOUR, they didnt even send me a confirmation ticket. I am usually not like.. persistant, or overly annoying but i am thinking about submiting another damn ticket if they don't answer me in like 10 minutes.

Glad that is off my chest -deap breath-

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content

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Woot, a new layout, at the moment I like it because it is different, but I am kind of iffy about it, and probably in about 5 minutes I will hate it and start a new one. I had originally planned on doing a whole new layout with different overides but the overides were being an ass so I kept them the way they are. Yea this one features Avril Lavigne, definately not a fan of hers, but I found the pictures and they just kind of worked... worked for what I'm not sure :p

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mood

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irritated

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I know I should probably make this a friends only entry because I have no clue who has acess to this journal, but oh well, at the moment I could care less.

Last night it was awesome, Friday the thirteenth obviously, so I had Heather and Beth over to watch scary movies. I have never watched scary movies really, never got into them even though my brother and sister always watched them constantly when I was younger. Yes Mitchel and Angie are responsiblity for permanently making me afraid of "it" until last night when I watched it. Which when I heard "it" laugh the first time I had like almost a major spaz because I remembered it from when I was 4 and I got creaped out majorly, and my earliest memories are from 5 or 6.

My parents were gone for most of the night, thank god, we had some of the well.. most original conversations and commentary for the movies. Especially on friday the thirteenth with small details like buldges in speedos which we were then forced to rewind and replay over and over again, lmao.

Oh but on the positive side, I looked up social anxiety disorder, and according to one of the tests I took I most likely have it, I know great stuff :p. Actually it really wouldn't suprise me if I had it, I am pretty reserved and not much for going out or over to most peoples house, or even having people over. But yea... >.> Anyways, toodles.

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tired

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Ok.. I was in a really sporadic mood, and half asleep when I made these, I might make worth while ones tomorow but for now you shall all suffer.. yea.. >.>



I made for myself to use on msn, but you can also use: