The title of this column might set off a Betteridge’s Law of Headlines klaxon. So I’ll come right out and say it: no, you probably shouldn’t wear your Apple Watch on your ankle. It’s not designed for that. (And neither are you.) But, weirdly, I recently discovered a subculture of people who wear an Apple Watch that way. And that got me thinking: why? And more importantly, is it something I should consider?
It’s worth noting that people wearing an Apple Watch on their ankle aren’t being quirky. They have good reasons – several of which align with issues I’ve had myself. Some folks have adverse skin reactions to the Apple Watch’s materials, while others find their tattoos mess with the device’s sensors. Then there are professionals – surgeons, for example – who really shouldn’t be wearing anything on their wrists. People tend to look unfavorably on an Apple Watch tumbling into someone’s abdomen mid-operation.
Do not insert into patient during surgery.
However, there’s another big reason: accuracy. The Apple Watch often gathers exercise information through arm movement. Which is useless if you’re pushing a stroller, typing while using a treadmill, or lugging bags of groceries home. You might be panting for breath after a marathon shopping trip, only for your wrist-bound overlord to suggest you’ve barely moved. Infuriating.
So how do people wear an Apple Watch on an ankle? Velcro straps, mostly. Which sounds… precarious. I’d be terrified of the thing falling off without me noticing, or it getting smashed. And imagine bulking it up with a protective case. Instantly, you’d be sporting an ungainly, clunky shackle. While wearing shorts or a skirt, you’d have to convince friends that, no, you’re not under house arrest, and that Apple hasn’t branched out into the lucrative market of ankle monitors. Even if everything goes well, a screen’s pretty useless next to your shoe, and you’d risk karate kicking someone in the face while trying to check the time.
All of which makes me wonder whether there’s a market for a simpler, less conspicuous Apple fitness tracker designed to be worn on your ankle. Probably not. Marketing a product that lives near your socks is a non-starter. Still, if Apple sees people strapping tech to every limb, who knows? Maybe later this year, an Apple exec at an event will utter the immortal line ‘one more thing’ and usher in the age of the Ankle Watch.