PATHWAY TO AUTHENTIC LOVE

PREPARED BY:
Olusola S. Andero
Peace Estate Baptist Church, Orisunbare-Lagos.
07032368283
PATHWAY TO AUTHENTIC LOVE
It is a known fact that the four letter word L-O-V-E is the most hyped and complicated word in the history of
relationships. Also, it is a highly miss-construed and relatively misused word. It's little wonder there are quite a large
number of misconceptions about love among young people. It is interesting to know that what God calls love is
quite different from the way the world system sees it. In addition, what is love to the married is completely different
from how the single sees love. Therefore in this summit we shall try to understand the nature of love, when to
commit, who to commit to and why some rush to commit.
What can you make out of
the statement below;
"With the way things are going with my marriage, I don't think I am
still interested any more because I don't understand this man
anymore. I can't die, everything about him is becoming unbearable, I
don't think this can work. He said I didn't bring or add any benefits to
him, there is no point staying with such a man."
UNDERSTANDING THE POWER OF LOVE (SOS 3:1-5)

Love can capture soul vs 1 whom my soul or heart love

Love can capture reason and common sense vs 2,

I will rise now and go ( middle of the night)

Love can expose you to danger vs 2 she goes to the city, street, broad-way.

Love doesn't give up vs 3. She met the watchmen yet she kept going.

Love can be lost & found vs 1, 3-4, have you seen the one I love,
when I found the one I love
UNDERSTANDING THE POWER OF LOVE (SOS 3:1-5)

Love pull and push vs 1-2,3-4, Pull out of bed, study and push into street,
village squares until it connects you with someone and you will think it is the Holy spirit

Love sticks like gum or super glue vs 4, I held him and would not let him go.

Love gives access to your innermost part or secret vs 4,

It gives access to your life, future, destiny, account, property, breast, virginity and private parts.
WHY YOU MUST PREPARE BEFORE YOU COMMIT TO HIM/HER
Lifelong Journey
Marriage is a lifelong commitment

Marital Destiny
Your purpose and destiny are at stake

Heart Involvement
Relationships involve your heart, not just your head

Health Impact
Your physical and mental health can be affected

Divine Investment
God's investment in your life must be protected

Because of your heaven.

6 I doubt if anyone who missed it maritally will make it there easily
WHY SOME RUSH TO COMMIT THEMSELVES
Impatience External Pressure
They see time of preparation as waste of time Family and Peer pressure

Age Concerns Misplaced Priority

I am getting old, all my friends are married Focusing on wedding and neglecting the marriage.
Wedding is just for a day. Which include pre-wedding
picture, video, venue, cameral man, bridal train, Aso
ebi while no preparation for pre-marital counselling.

Pity Status
Don't rush into commitment out of pity. I have money, I have finished school, and am working.
WHO YOU MUST NEVER COMMIT TO
People to Avoid People to Consider

1. An unbeliever 2 Cor. 6:14-17, Gen. 24:3; Deut. 7:1-4 As a child of God you are to commit to someone who:
2. A married man/woman 1 Tim. 3:2; Titus 1:6
1. Is a child of God with clear testimony of redemption.
3. A divorcee. Matt. 19:4-9
2. Is formed by God through discipleship. Gen. 2:7
4. A backslider Ezek. 18:24; Heb. 6:4-6
3. Has a clear assignment or task for God on earth.
5. A recent convert- Heb. 5:13; 1 Tim. 3:6 Gen. 2:15. Anyone whose life will not profit heaven
6. A stranger- don't commit to a person you don't know. is not fit for marriage.

7. Same sex - Gay/Lesbian

WHEN TO COMMIT TO HIM/HER
Maturity
When you are no more a boy, girl or teenager

Full Growth
When you are now a full grown man or woman

Spiritual Growth
When you see a significant growth in grace (grace of prayer, giving, service and kindness)

Life Transformation
When you see a level of transformation in your 1. domestic life, emotional life,
financial life, social/relational life and inner/character.

Academic Security
When you are very sure it will not affect your academic pursuit
GOD'S PART IN CHOOSING A GODLY PARTNER

Divine Direction
Divine Guidance
Speak, lead and guide your steps.
Going ahead of you v7,15,40
vs 11, 42,51

Removing all barriers Prayer Answers

vs 49-51. Giving answer to your prayer vs 15, 42

Divine Anaesthesia
Divine Connection
Go to sleep. Gen. 2:21-22;
Divine connection vs 15,45
Jer. 29:11; Prov. 3:5.
 AFTER YOU COMMIT TO HIM/HER

1. Submit your relationship to guidance- Pastor or Discipler

2. Seek your parent's consent.
3. Open your past lives to each other; age, school attended, past or present sinful habit,
4. Exposed your personality trait and moral record; virginity, children etc
5. Maintain purity of life and relationship; no sexual intercourse, kissing, hugging, petting a
with breast or private part. 1 Cor. 6:15-19
6. Avoid sleeping in the same room, impure thought or discussion, being in a dark or seclu
environment alone.
7. Create time for pre-marital counselling.
 HOW TO DISCERN WHO TO COMMIT TO

Purpose Purity Power Personality

Test their life purpose and Examine moral standards Spiritual strength and authority
Character traits and temperament
direction and values

Progress Peace Perspective Presence

Growth trajectory in life Inner tranquility about Worldview and outlook on lifeQuality of their presence in your li
the relationship
SIGN THAT YOU HAVE ENTERED ONE CHANCE
Violence
When he/she beats or threatens to beat you.

Peace Loss
When you lose your peace

Expression Suppression
When you are not free to express your mind

Spiritual Decline
When your relationship with God is negatively affected

Sexual Pressure
When he/she is demanding for sex or fighting you when you deny her/him.

Unhealthy Behaviors
When he/she is jealous, pretend and too secretive.

Directionless
He/she has no clear cut vision or future ambition.