PERSONALITY
AND
RELATIONSHIP
Relationship typically refers to how individuals
interact, connect, and bond with others whether
in friendship, romantic partnerships, family ties
or professional interactions
Personality Traits and
Relationship Outcomes
• Individual personality traits strongly influence the quality, stability, and satisfaction within close
relationships—especially romantic ones.
Big Five Traits and Relationship Impact
1. Neuroticism
High neuroticism → more negative emotions, jealousy, conflict
Strong predictor of lower satisfaction and higher divorce risk
Agreeableness
Agreeableness → warmth, empathy, cooperation
Predicts higher satisfaction and better conflict resolution
Conscientiousness
Linked to reliability, commitment, and stability
Predicts relationship longevity and fewer betrayals
Extraversion
Can enhance social connection and energy in the relationship
May lead to attention outside the relationship if not balanced
Openness to Experience
Promotes shared novelty, adaptability, and growth
Can support intellectual compatibility and emotional depth
Trait Compatibility
Similarity Hypothesis: Partners with similar traits (e.g., both high in agreeableness) tend to report greater harmony
Complementarity Hypothesis: Differences can also be beneficial (e.g., one partner high in conscientiousness balancing a mor
spontaneous partner)
Relationship Outcomes Affected by Personality
Satisfaction: Mostly predicted by low neuroticism and high agreeableness
Commitment: Linked to conscientiousness and secure attachment
Conflict & Communication: Influenced by neuroticism, agreeableness, and emotional stability
Attachment Styles and Relationship Dynamics
Attachment styles describe patterns of expectations, needs, and emotions one exhibits in
interpersonal relationships, particularly romantic ones.
Types of Attachment Styles (from Bowlby & Ainsworth)
Secure Attachment
Comfortable with intimacy and autonomy
Trusts others, seeks support when needed
Associated with low neuroticism, high agreeableness
Anxious (Preoccupied) Attachment
Craves closeness but fears abandonment
Often hypervigilant to partner cues
Linked to higher neuroticism
Avoidant (Dismissive) Attachment
Dismisses intimacy, values independence
Struggles with emotional closeness
Often related to low agreeableness, high emotional suppression
Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized) Attachment
Mixed feelings: desires closeness but fears getting hurt
Often linked to trauma or inconsistent caregiving
Personality correlations vary, often includes high emotional instability
How Attachment Styles Interact with Personality
Secure individuals: More likely to have high relationship satisfaction, emotional regulation
Anxious types: May show jealousy, dependency, emotional volatility
Avoidant individuals: Struggle with vulnerability and emotional intimacy
Trait Interaction Example: High neuroticism + anxious style → intense conflict cycles
Emotional Regulation and Communication
Emotional regulation refers to how individuals influence their emotions—when they
experience them, and how they express or suppress them.
Communication is the way individuals exchange information, feelings, and meaning through
verbal and non-verbal messages.
Personality and Emotional Regulation
Neuroticism: Linked to poor emotional regulation,
heightened reactivity
Conscientiousness: Associated with better impulse control and emotional awareness
Agreeableness: Facilitates empathy and cooperative emotion expression
Extraversion: Associated with more expressive and assertive communication
Communication Patterns in Relationships
Constructive communication:
Open expression, active listening, emotional validation
Linked to higher agreeableness and emotional stability
Destructive patterns:
Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling (Gottman's "Four Horsemen")
Often seen in partners with high neuroticism or low agreeableness
nteraction of Emotion Regulation and Communication
Poor regulation can lead to escalated conflict
Withdrawal or emotional shutdown
Miscommunication
Good regulation supports conflict resolution
Emotional attunement
Relationship satisfaction
PERSONALITY CHANGE IN
RELATIONSHIP
• Personality is not fixed it can evolve through life
experience , especially close , long term relationships
• HOW PERSONALITY INFLUENCE PERSONALITY
• Romantic partnership, parenting , and deep friendship can
gradually reshape traits like
• Conscientiousness ; Often increases in commitment
relationships linked to responsibility and planning
Agreeableness ; can increase with cooperative, supportive partners
Neuroticism ; may decrease in secure emotionally safe relationship or increase in high
conflict one
MECHANISM OF CHANGE
Modelling ; Adopting behaviours and traits of close others
Feedback ; partners provide ongoing reinforcement or correction
Shared experience ; navigating life events together e.g. illness, career changes
Relational roles ; taking roles like parent or spouse promotes trait development
NB ; STUDIES SHOWS THAT
Long term couples show small but meaningful trait changes over time
Satisfying relationships are more likely to foster positive change
INTERPERSONAL PERCEPTION
AND COMPATIBILITY
• This is how individuals perceive their partners personality and
how accurate or idealized these perceptions affects compatibility
and relationship satisfaction.
• Perception vs Idealization
• Idealization: Seeing your partner in an overly positive light can
boost satisfaction in early stages but may lead to disillusionment
later
• Accurate Perception: Knowing your partners true traits is linked
to trust and deeper emotional intimacy
Personality Compatibility models
Similarity Attraction model
People prefer partners with similar traits especially values and emotional styles
(strongest for agreeableness conscientiousness, and openness)
Complementary model
Differences can enhance compatibility if they fulfil each others needs for example one
partner is emotionally expressive, the other emotionally grounded
TRAIT MATCHING vs NEED MATCHING
Trait matching's similar personalities e.g. both extroverts or both planners
Need matching :one partner provides what the other lacks e.g. calm partner for a
neurotic one
ROLE OF PERCEPTION IN CONFLICT CONNECTION
Misperception of traits can lead to conflict escalation, misaligned expectations and
communication breakdown
Positive, realistic perception fosters trust and empathy, better emotional empathy long
bonds
INTIMACY, PASSION, AND
COMMITMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS
• Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love
• Intimacy: Emotional closeness, connection, and bonding
• Passion : Physical attraction and sexual energy
• Commitment : Decision to stay long in the relationship long term
• HOW PERSONALITY INFLUENCE EACH COMPONENT
• INTIMACY ; Linked to high agreeableness, openness, and emotional
stability
• Traits influence willingness to be vulnerable and emotionally attuned.
PASSION ; Associated with extraversion, openness, and sometimes neuroticism
Drives physical and romantic energy , novelty and excitement
COMMITMENT ; Strongly tied to conscientiousness and low neurotism
Stable , responsible traits promote long term dedication and reliability
RELATIONSHIP TYPES BASED ON THE LOVE TRIANGLE
Liking; intimacy alone
Infatuation ; passion alone
Empty love ; commitment alone
Romantic love ; Intimacy +Passion
Companionate love ; Intimacy +Commitment
Consummate love ;all three components
Fatuous love ; Passion + Commitment
Successful long term couples often show high agreeableness and conscientiousness,
which help sustain emotional and practical bonds.
