Becoming Gendered
Chapter 7
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• To understand how families contribute to
Gendering gendering children
Communicat • Largely unconscious dynamics are at
ion in the work in gender development
• We will draw on social learning,
Family cognitive development, and symbolic
interaction theories to examine more
overt ways in which children learn
gender in families
Psychoanalytic
Theory
Unconsci • Insight into unconscious dynamics
ous comes primarily from psychoanalytic
theories
Processe • Person’s core gender identity shaped in
s early years of life
Gender Identity
Determines with
Person’s subjective which parent a child
sense of his/her/their will identify and, thus,
gender how the child’s psyche
will develop
Gendering Communication in the
Family
• Limited empirical support for Freud’s beliefs that girls envy penises
and boys fear castration
• Families play a critical role in the formation of gender identity
• During infancy, children depend on and identify with the person
who takes care of them
• Women are often primary caregivers
Can be more complicated for boys who
do not have close relationships with
their fathers or other adult men
Gendering
Communicati Masculine gender can be difficult to
on in the grasp if young boys lack strong
Family relationship with man
Boys define masculinity in negative
terms – not like mother
Girls are praised for being Mommy’s helper
Gendering Boys praised for being independent
Communicati
on in the
Family Boys’ social development typically occurs in
larger groups with temporary and changing
memberships
Girls’ identity tends to develop within
ongoing, personal relationships with family
members and regular playmates
Non-heterosexual parents
• Children have more expansive views of gender
roles
• Gay dads are more likely to reject hegemonic
masculinity and encourage greater empathy
and open-mindedness
• Lesbian moms tend to model greater
egalitarianism in romantic relationships and
encourage economic and emotional self-
sufficiency
Ego Boundaries
• Point which individual stops and
Gendering
rest of the world begins
Communicati
• Distinguish self from everyone
on in the
Family and everything else
• Linked to gender identity
• Individuals who develop feminine
gender identities tend to have
permeable ego boundaries
Emphasizes interrelatedness with others
Typically linked to permeable ego
boundaries
Feminine
gender Fosters empathy
identity
Often leads to helping others
May encourage feeling responsible for
others and for situations that they do not
create or control
Firmer ego boundaries
Masculine Do not experience others’
gender feelings as their own
identity Feel secure when autonomy is
high
May feel smothered in close
relationships
Parental
Communicati
on about
Gender
• Daughters rewarded for being cooperative,
helpful, nurturing, friendly, and polite;
sometimes also for being sensitive, athletic,
and smart
Parental
• Sons rewarded for being competitive,
Communicat independent, and assertive
ion about • Parents described boys as strong, big, active,
Gender and alert and girls as small, dainty, and
delicate
• Parents’ communication reflects gender
stereotypes
Parental
Communication about
Gender
• Parents may communicate different
expectations about assertiveness
and aggressiveness to sons and
daughters
• Gender socialization is more rigid for
sons than for daughters
• Heterosexual fathers are more
insistent on gender stereotypes for
sons
Mother’s Communication
Mothers call sons’
Build connections Talk more with children
attention to numbers
Providing comfort, More likely to hug and
security, and emotional More eye contact tell them they love
development them
Play with them at their
level
Father’s
Communication
• Play that is physically stimulating
• Encourage children to develop skills
and meet challenges
• Urge them to compete, achieve,
take risks, act independently, and
move beyond their current ability
levels
Sexual Activity
Mothers more than fathers
Linked to safer sex behaviors
Daughters more likely to delay sexual activity and engage
in safer sex
Toys
• Girls: encourage gentle,
nurturing interaction with
others, physical closeness, and
verbal communication This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND
• Boys: promote independent or
competitive activities and less
verbal interaction
• Animals on clothing
• Halloween costumes
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-SA
Household
Chores
What were your
chores growing up?
Parental Modeling
Parental Modeling
• Parents communicate gender is through
modeling masculinity, femininity, and,
for heterosexual parents, male–female
relationships
• Families in our era are diverse in
membership and roles
• Being part of more than one family and
observing multiple models of gender
give some children a range of ideas
about how families can work and how
gender can be embodied
The Personal
Side of Gender
• Six themes of masculinity
• Don’t be feminine
Growing • Be successful
• Be aggressive
Up • Be sexual
Masculin • Be self-reliant
• Embody and transcend traditional
e views of masculinity
Growing Up Feminine
• Two narratives of femininity coexist today
• Women can “have it all”
• Women still earn less than men and face discrimination
Themes of Femininity
• Appearance still counts
• Be sensitive and caring
• Negative treatment by others
• Be Superwoman
• There is no single meaning of feminine anymore
Growing Up Outside Conventional Gender Roles
For people who do not fit
Until recently, transgender
neatly into conventional
and intersex people seldom
gender, sex, or sexuality,
made their identities or
growing up may be especially
struggles public
difficult
More difficult to find role
models and social acceptance
Jazz Jennings: “I have a
girl brain and a boy body.”
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Summary
Interaction with
Yet familial influences
parents and siblings
are not wholly
influences
deterministic of how
development of
we develop
gendered identity
