Foundations in Psychology (C80FIP)
Relationship formation
(and breakdown)
Dr. Fenja Ziegler
Student Office Hours:Thursdays: 1 – 3pm
Psychology, C54
Living in a Social World
• Beginning and ending of
(romantic) relationships
• Interpersonal attraction
• Culture and sub-culture
Social Psychology - Lecture 1 2
Interpersonal Attraction –
Why do we like some people?
• Physical Attractiveness
– The Matching Hypothesis
Social Psychology - Lecture 1 3
Physical Attractiveness
• First impression
• Women:
– Large and widely separated eyes, small nose,
small chin (like children) – but also wide
cheekbones and narrow cheeks (not like children)
• Men:
– Square jaw, small eyes, thin lips (not like children)
• Halo effect
Social Psychology - Lecture 1 4
The Matching Hypothesis
• Not the most attractive person but a match
in attractiveness
– Fear of rejection
– Balance
– Not just physical
Social Psychology - Lecture 1 5
Interpersonal Attraction
• Physical Attractiveness
– The Matching Hypothesis
• Proximity
• Familiarity
• Attitude
• Similarity
• Demographic Similarity
• Similarity in Personality
Social Psychology - Lecture 1 6
Why do we form Relationships?
– Is it in our genes?
• Study experimentally?
• Relationships costly:
– Evolutionary adaptive: survival
and reproduction
– “Blood is thicker than water” –
closeness of families
Social Psychology - Lecture 1 7
Relatedness drives Helping
See also:
Selfish
Gene
theory
(Richard
Dawkins)
Social Psychology - Lecture 1 8
Why do we form Relationships?
– Is it in our genes?
• Study experimentally?
• Relationships costly:
– Evolutionary adaptive: survival and
reproduction
– “Blood is thicker than water” – closeness of
families
• Non-reproductive relationships? Non-
romantic relationships?
Social Psychology - Lecture 1 9
Why do we form relationships?
- Reward, reinforcement, satisfaction
• Form friendships/ relationships for rewards and
reinforcement
– Approval, smiling, (sex, love, money, etc)
• Classical condition
– Neutral stimulus + reward → positive feeling
• More time with people who reward
• Less time with people who punish
• Relevant to early stages, parents/ children?,
selfish?, context of reinforcement, individualistic/
male?
Social Psychology - Lecture 1 10
Economic Theories 4 Stages of
Relationships/
• Maximise rewards, minimise the costs: Friendship
– Cost:reward ratio
– Thibault and Kelley, 1959
– Comparison level (previous experience)
– Comparison level for Alternatives
• Equity theory (stresses fairness)
• Descriptive, but research not
informative
Maintenance of Relationships
• Self-disclosure
– Sternberg (1986)
– Social penetration theory (Altman & Taylor, 1973)
• Commitment
– Investment model (Rusbult, 1980)
– Maintenance strategies
• voice • loyalty
• neglect • exit
Social Psychology - Lecture 1 12
Relationship
rules
• Argyle and Henderson (1984) 6 rules:
1. Trust and confide in the other person
2. Show emotional support
3. Share news of success
4. Strive to make the friend happy
5. Volunteer help in time of need
6. Stand up for a friend in his or her
absence
Social Psychology - Lecture 1 15
Breakdown of Relationships
• Many reasons for break-up
• Reasons depend on
– The particular circumstances
– Their particular characteristics
• Some end in bitter recrimination
• Others are handled in a civilised way
• Similar processes tend to be involved in all
break-ups
Social Psychology - Lecture 1 16
Relationship Survival
• Social exchange theory (Levinger, 1976)
• Marriage survival depends on 3 factors
– the attractions (sexual and emotional)
– the barriers to leaving the marriage
– the presence of attractive alternatives
• Can explain why not all unhappy relationships
end in breakdown
• But why do they become unhappy?
Social Psychology - Lecture 1 17
Psychological Explanations of
Love
• Sternberg’s (1986) triangular theory
– Love consists of three components
• intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment
• Liking and loving
– The love quiz (Hazan & Shaver, 1987)
• Romantic and companionate love
– Berscheid and Walster (1978)
Social Psychology - Lecture 1 18
Commitment;
No passion,
Intimacy
Commitment,
passion;
Intimacy, No intimacy
commitment;
No passion
Intimacy, passion;
Intimacy; No commitment Passion;
No passion, No commitment,
commitment intimacy
Relationships in
Cultures
• Individualist and collectivist cultures (Goodwin,
1995)
• Romantic love (Levine et al., 1995):
– More important individualistic
• Friendships:
– Fewer but closer in collectivist
• Voluntary and involuntary relationships (Shaver
et al., 1991)
– About the same level of happiness
• Permanent and impermanent relationships
(Simmel, 1971)
– Divorce rare higher in individualistic cultures
Social Psychology - Lecture 1 20
The End…
• Reading: Chapter 2
Social Psychology - Lecture 1 21
