Poor Prince Andrew Alexander Larman The AI who loved me Lara Brown

23 august 2025 | £5.95 [Link] | est. 1828

CANADA C$11.95. EURO ZONE €8.95.

SOUTH AFRICA ZAR129.90.
SWITZERLAND CHF10.00.

Putin’s trap
Owen Matthews on how Russia plans to split the western alliance

FRONT COVER 23.08_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 1 20/08/2025 13:00

 90 YEARS OF EXPERTISE,
CENTURIES OF EXCEPTIONAL HOMES.

ADVERT - Blue Book_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 2 19/08/2025 14:39

 ESTABLISHED 1828

Turf war
F
ew British traditions can claim as long lobby MPs. The industrial action is expected disproportionately among our governing
a history as racing. The first races to cost around £700,000. lanyard class. Of course, many Labour MPs
thought to have taken place in these Many senior figures in the world of racing are enthusiastic supporters of racing – 23
islands were organised by Roman soldiers fear that increased costs for operators would represent racecourse constituencies. But
encamped in Yorkshire, pitting English hors- mean less money available for promoting any attempt to squeeze the industry until the
es against Arabian. By the 900s, King Athel- the sport. Worse odds would be offered to pips squeak is representative of a Treasury
stan was placing an export ban on English customers, making bookmakers less com- mentality that knows the cost of everything
horses due to their superiority over their con- petitive compared with black market sites, but the value of nothing.
tinental equivalents. The first recorded race which are now more easily accessible than Taxing bookmaking at the same rate as
meeting took place under Henry II in Smith- ever thanks to the large increase in Virtual online gambling draws a false equivalence
field as part of the annual Bartholomew Fair. Private Network downloads by people trying between the two that ignores their funda-
Nearly 1,000 years later, racing remains to circumvent the Online Safety Act. mental differences. A punter at a race might
the nation’s second most popular spectator Reduced turnover means reduced prof- enjoy six or seven bets in a day at most;
sport. Five million people attend more than its for bookmakers, 10 per cent of which are an enthusiastic online gambler could place
1,400 meets throughout the year. The indus- paid to a levy designed to support the sport that number in a minute. Betting on racing
try is estimated to be worth more than £4 bil- through prize money, veterinary research requires research and skill (incidentally, The
lion, contributing around £300 million to the and equine welfare. Even before the Treas- Spectator’s own racing tipster, Penworthy,
Exchequer, and supports some 80,000 jobs. has had an excellent year). In contrast, online
No activity better unites Benjamin Dis- Britain’s racing success is something casinos are the gambling equivalent of
raeli’s ‘two nations’. Royal Ascot, the Derby Pac-Man, colourful distractions designed to
and the Grand National are cornerstones of
to be proud of – which means Rachel be played on a loop. That is why online gam-
the sporting calendar. Britain still produces Reeves has decided to go after it bling and gaming make up the overwhelm-
many of the world’s finest horses, jockeys ing majority of gambling addiction cases.
and races. More than 600 million people ury’s planned hike, the recent introduction of In its zeal for protecting the vulnerable,
across 140 countries tune in to the National more stringent affordability checks on online the Gambling Commission, supported by the
each year; in this country alone, around 13 gambling means that turnover is down and Treasury, could strangle the life out of the
million people, a quarter of adults, bet on it. fewer thoroughbreds are being bred. British industry it regulates. In her quest to make her
Britain’s racing success is something to be racing is falling behind as owners, riders and sums add up, Reeves may embark on another
proud of, which naturally means that Rachel horses decamp abroad to wealthier competi- experiment which costs more than it raises.
Reeves has decided to go after it. tions. This leaves the long-term sustainabil- Reeves and the Treasury should recog-
The Treasury is proposing to increase ity of British racing under threat. nise that next month’s strike is an extraor-
the 15 per cent tax on bookmaker profits to The Chancellor’s latest attempt to find dinary protest from an industry facing an
21 per cent – the same levy faced by a few pennies down the back of the Treas- existential threat. Rather than breaking with
online slot games and casinos. The British ury sofa would repeat the error of last year’s the tradition of treating bookmaking differ-
Horseracing Authority predicts the rate hike inheritance tax raid on farmers and the impo- ently to online gambling, the government
would cause a £330 million loss of revenue sition of VAT on private schools. It is a mean- should extend the industry support, through
in its first five years, and put more than 2,500 spirited and self-defeating assault on a part direct grants or a reformed betting levy.
jobs at risk in the first year alone. In response of the country’s history and way of life that Yet with each day bringing rumours of
to the proposal, the BHA has called a strike the Labour party does not seek to understand. the Treasury eyeing potential targets, the
for 10 September – the first in the industry’s If racing unites the upper and lower class- odds of the Chancellor putting the turf’s
history. Rather than racing, jockeys, owners es, it is uniquely vulnerable to stigmatisa- future before her spreadsheets seem slim.
and trainers will decamp to Westminster to tion by the middle-class prudes found so Who would be willing to bet on it?
the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 3

Leader_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 3 20/08/2025 13:12

 Dairy queens, p32 Shower down, p9
Truman show, p32

3 Leading article 10 Divide and conquer BOOKS

6 Portrait of the Week How Putin split the western alliance 30 James Campbell
Owen Matthews The Letters of Muriel Spark,
7 Diary Don’t judge a book Volume I, edited by Dan Gunn
by its author 11 Jeremy Wikeley
Howard Jacobson ‘Goodbye, Things’: a poem 32 Frances Wilson
12 Peace offering The Difficult Ghost,
8 Politics Sea change by Leila Guerriero
James Heale Trump has given Zelensky hope
Svitlana Morenets Paul Levy
9 The Spectator’s Notes The Cheese Cure,
Aristocrats are disappearing 14 Drug bust by Michael Finnerty
from parliament America’s healthcare system
keeps the NHS afloat – for now 33 Michael Arditti
Charles Moore Six Weeks by the Sea,
Michael Simmons
12 Barometer Power dressing, air by Paula Byrne
conditioning and household staff 16 Let down
The hell of owning a holiday rental 34 Alexander Larman
13 Rod Liddle William Cash Entitled, by Andrew Lownie
A few things worth flagging… 35 Allan Mallinson
18 Letter from Iraq
19 Douglas Murray I’m building a shrine for The Maginot Line,
The most oppressed people ever persecuted Christians by Kevin Passmore
24 Ancient and modern Benedict Kiely 36 Igor Toronyi-Lalic
Ruled out 20 ‘Prince of journalistic sprinters’ Against Morality,
25 Lionel Shriver How The Spectator shaped by Rosanna McLaughlin
My shoplifting shame John Buchan 37 Susie Mesure
26 Letters Labour’s dark arts, Ursula Buchan Helm, by Sarah Hall
car games and how wars end 22 The AI who loved me 38 Peter Parker
28 Any other business Why people fall for chatbots Alexandrian Sphinx,
Record pay for FTSE chiefs is Lara Brown by Peter Jeffreys and
good news for Rachel Reeves 23 Candy Neubert Gregory Jusdanis
Martin Vander Weyer ‘photo’: a poem 39 Nicholas Lezard
24 Home wreckers TonyInterruptor,
Care shouldn’t be judged by Nicola Barker
by algorithm N.S. Thompson
David Woodgett ‘The Road’: a poem

Cover by Harvey Rothman. Drawings by Michael Heath, John Broadley, Sarah Tims, Robert Thompson, Tim Bales, Wilbur, Matt Percival, Grizelda, K.J. Lamb,
Kipper Williams, Bernie. [Link] Editorial and advertising The Spectator, 22 Old Queen Street, London SW1H 9HP, Tel: 020 7961 0200, Email:
letters@[Link] (for publication); Advertising enquiries: advertising@[Link], Tel: 020 7961 0128 Subscription and delivery queries Tel: 020
4572 7556 Email: spectator@[Link]; Rates for a basic annual subscription in the UK: £119; Europe: £195; and £205 in all other countries. To order, go to
[Link]/basic-rate or call 020 4572 7556 and quote BAR; Newsagent queries Tel: 020 7961 0200, Email: spectator@[Link] Distributor
Marketforce, 161 Marsh Wall, London, E14 9AP, Tel: 020 3787 9001, [Link] Vol 358; no 10,278 © The Spectator (1828) Ltd. ISSN 0038-6952
The Spectator is published weekly by The Spectator (1828) Ltd, part of Old Queen Street Ventures Ltd.
Editor: Michael Gove

4 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

Contents_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 4 20/08/2025 13:15

 The art of the kneel, p10

Fat chance, p14

Myth fits, p62

ARTS LIFE The book achieves the

40 Richard Morris 55 Dolce vita Nicholas Farrell near impossible: one feels
on the private treasures the public Real life Melissa Kite sorry for Prince Andrew.
has the right to access 56 Bridge Susanna Gross Alexander Larman, p34
42 Exhibitions 57 The Vintage Chef
Anselm Kiefer; Olivia Potts The Thursday Murder Club
Folkestone Triennial adaptation feels exactly like
Digby Warde-Aldam the book that I haven’t read
AND FINALLY . . .
43 Television 50 Notes on… Bank holidays and would never read.
Alien: Earth Mark Mason Deborah Ross, p44
James Delingpole
58 Chess Luke McShane
44 Cinema Competition Victoria Lane Unicode encodes 3,790 emojis,
The Thursday Murder Club some I admit quite useful,
Deborah Ross 59 Crossword La Jerezana
such as the waning gibbous
45 Pop 60 No sacred cows moon symbol.
The Seeds/The Sting-rays; Toby Young
Dot Wordsworth, p62
M.J. Lenderman & the Wind Battle for Britain
Michael Hann Michael Heath
The listener 61 The Wiki Man
Bellucci’s Beethoven cycle Rory Sutherland
Damian Thompson Your problems solved
46 Theatre Mary Killen
Good Night, Oscar; 62 Drink
A Role to Die For Bruce Anderson
Lloyd Evans Mind your language
47 Podcasts Dot Wordsworth
Talk ’90s to Me; Floating Space
Daisy Dunn
48 Opera & dance
Edinburgh round-up
Rupert Christiansen
49 Brigadoon; Tristan und Isolde
Richard Bratby

CONTRIBUTORS
Howard Jacobson, William Cash is the former Father Benedict Kiely Alexander Larman, Richard Morris is an art
who looks at the unjust editor of the Catholic Herald. is the founder of Nasarean. who on p34 reviews Entitled: dealer and historian. On
neglect of Edward Burra He writes about the hell of org, which provides aid The Rise and Fall of the p40 he explores the CETI
on p7, is the author of The owning a holiday rental and advocacy to persecuted House of York, is the books database, which lets you have
Finkler Question, which won on p16. Christians abroad. On p18 editor of Spectator World. one-on-ones with privately
the 2010 Booker Prize. he visits Iraq. owned masterpieces.

the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 5

Contents_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 5 20/08/2025 13:15

 Home visit to the self-declared Turkish Republic Moscow.’ Mr Trump had promised ‘severe
of Northern Cyprus. Terence Stamp, the consequences’ if Russia did not move

S ir Keir Starmer, the Prime Minister,

joined President Volodymyr Zelensky
glamorous 1960s film star, died aged 87. towards a ceasefire, but after the meeting he
said that the ‘best way’ was to go ‘directly
and the leaders of France, Germany, Italy,
Finland, the EU and Nato in a visit to
Washington three days after the Trump-
I nflation rose from 3.6 to 3.8 per cent. Gilt
yields, reflecting the cost of government
borrowing, rose above the peak reached
to a peace agreement’. He said that Ukraine
could not reclaim Crimea or join Nato.
But he added that Mr Putin had agreed that
Putin summit in Alaska. On his return he during Liz Truss’s financial difficulties. Russia would accept security guarantees for
chaired a virtual meeting of a ‘coalition of GDP rose by 0.3 per cent in the second Ukraine; no American troops would set foot
the willing’ to discuss security guarantees quarter, compared with 0.7 per cent in in Ukraine. At the Washington follow-up
for Ukraine. Asylum seekers were to be the first. The average two-year mortgage meeting, Mr Zelensky said that he and
removed from the Bell Hotel, Epping, rate fell below 5 per cent for the first time Mr Trump had had a ‘very good
Essex, after the High Court granted an since September 2022. Britain’s largest conversation’. The plan was for a trilateral
injunction sought by Epping Forest district bioethanol plant, in Hull, began closing meeting, then for a bilateral one between
council against their being housed there. down, following the removal in May of a Mr Putin and Mr Zelensky. Territory
The ten councils controlled by Reform 19 per cent tariff on ethanol imported from remained an unsolved problem. Four people
would try to emulate Epping. The number America. Britain’s biggest power generator, in New York City died from Legionnaires’
of migrants arriving in England in small German company RWE, blamed weak disease, which was traced to 12 cooling
boats in the seven days to 18 August winds for a £1.8 billion fall in profits. The towers where bacteria were growing.
was 968. Ricky Jones, 58, a councillor chain of 46 Soho House clubs was bought
suspended by the Labour party, who,
speaking to a crowd in Walthamstow last
year, said of ‘disgusting Nazi fascists’ that
for £2 billion. The Met Police will axe
40 of its 93 horses to save money. No horses
will run at race meetings on 10 September
H undreds of thousands of people
gathered in Israel to call for an end to
the Gaza war and an agreement to secure
‘We need to cut all their throats and get in protest at a proposed rise in betting tax. the release of the hostages held by Hamas.
rid of them all’, was found not guilty of A-level grades were again the highest ever, Tulsi Gabbard, the director of US national
encouraging violent disorder by a jury. with 28.3 per cent being A* or A. The Prince intelligence, said Britain had withdrawn its
and Princess of Wales will move from demand for access to global Apple users’

H ashem Abedi, who was jailed for a

minimum of 55 years in 2020 for
helping to plan the Manchester Arena
Adelaide Cottage into the eight-bedroom
Forest Lodge in Windsor Great Park.
data. Two boats carrying 90 migrants
capsized off Lampedusa; 60 were rescued.

bombing in 2017, was charged with

attempting to murder three prison officers
Abroad H undreds were killed by floods in
northern Pakistan. Aid agencies
at Frankland prison. The pressure group
For Women Scotland lodged an action
at the Court of Session, claiming rules
P resident Donald Trump of the United
States and President Vladimir Putin
of Russia met for three hours in Alaska
warned of starvation in Burma’s Rakhine
State, which is under a military blockade.
The communist mayor of Noisy-le-Sec in
on transgender pupils in schools and without reaching an agreement on the war France said he had cancelled a screening
transgender people in custody are ‘in clear in Ukraine. Mr Putin had been greeted of Barbie to protect town hall officials
breach’ of a Supreme Court judgment in with a red carpet and a lift in the American from ‘insistent threats’ from young Muslim
April. A Labour MP, Afzal Khan, resigned presidential car. At the end of their meeting, men who accused the film of ‘promoting
as Britain’s trade envoy to Turkey after a Mr Putin said in English: ‘Next time in homosexuality’. CSH
6 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

Portrait_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 6 20/08/2025 12:49

 Howard Jacobson

I am entombed, like Edgar Allan Poe’s

prematurely buried man, listening
through headphones to a contemporary
participation of seeing and remembering,
which is more than enough for an artist.
Burra looked and, in the looking, lived.
Russian fugue for organ and bagpipes.
I had asked for a soothing Schubert
prelude, but the radiologist couldn’t lay
hands on one. The headphones have no
I n a podiatrist’s waiting room –
preparing myself mentally for a scan
on an ingrowing toenail – I read a report
volume control I can locate – only on and dancing, making music, looking for sex. of the Nobel Prize winner and academic
off, and off will expose me to the diabolic Because his invalidism made painting at Abdulrazak Gurnah telling an Edinburgh
clang of magnetic resonance. Hell will an easel too difficult, he most commonly Book Festival audience that he can no
be an eternity inside an MRI machine, worked on a flat desk or table, his favoured longer read V.S. Naipaul or Philip Roth
praying for deafness. There is a little medium being the watercolour, to which he or Saul Bellow because he finds their
sponge ball I can press if I can take it no brought an intensity we normally associate ideas on race and women objectionable.
longer. I give it 17 minutes, then press. with oils. This somewhat distanced ‘This guy is nasty,’ he says of Roth, ‘and
Shame overwhelms me. I overhear the way of working might explain why the I can’t read that.’ My toe throbs. I don’t
radiologists whisper: ‘So it works then.’ carnival excess he painted excited neither know what the ‘that’ is that Professor
Which means that in the time they’ve scorn nor covetousness in him. There is Gurnah can’t read but the remedy is
had this machine I am the first person a participation which we might call the simple. Don’t read it: read the books
to beg to be released. From now on I instead. Literature is not a compendium
will be referred to in letters that go back of writers’ fatuous or otherwise
and forth between specialist and doctor unappealing pronouncements – which
as a person of a nervous disposition. is why, though I find what the Professor
No procedure will go ahead without a says breathtakingly obtuse, I might one
Tahitian nurse holding my hand. To be day read his books. Not him. His books.
clear, there isn’t very much wrong with
Subscribe for
me. But we live in ‘better to be safe than
sorry’ times. And I’d be a fool to decline
a Tahitian nurse. only £1 a week S eeing me agitated, a nurse comes
in to hold my hand. I ask if she can
stay awhile. My eye has just lit upon that
Prince of Sanctimony Jonathon Porritt

I meet my wife at Tate Britain to see the

Edward Burra show. There’s nothing
like art to take you out of yourself and
saying he is proud to have been arrested
in Parliament Square the other week for
opposing genocide. Which is a lie. He
Burra’s work in particular has a vibrancy was arrested for showing support for the
that must make any hypochondriac proscribed group Palestine Action. But
ashamed, as he suffered rheumatoid being arrested for opposing genocide,
arthritis and much else all his life, but even though it isn’t and he wasn’t,
still travelled and painted voluminously. is a grander martyrdom. I turn to the
Most people, and that includes me, know nurse. There are undoubtedly terrible
of Burra primarily as the painter of things going on out there, I say, without
sailors lounging louchely in a Marseilles having to lie about their nature; I can
bar and Harlem jazzmen whose vitality tell you what genocide actually is if you
very nearly errs on the side of the have a spare couple of days. She looks
picturesque (see Edward Said’s petulant concerned for me and calls another nurse.
classic Orientalism for why appreciation Now I have one in each hand.
of other cultures is condescending). So
this grand show is a chance to get to
know an unjustly neglected artist. He is
frequently compared with the likes of
W hen I mention to my sister –
the warrior of the family – that
I couldn’t last the distance in the MRI
Hogarth and George Grosz, but for all [Link]/intro machine, she tells me that our mother
its piquancy and irony, his work is too 020 4572 7556 quoting intro also once pressed the little escape ball.
generously amused to be satirical. His Among all my other faults, I have been
Introductory offer. Auto-renewing payments only.
subject is the pleasure people take in $1 a week in Australia at [Link]/intro a bad son. I should have been there to
dressing up, misbehaving, showing off, hold her hand.

the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 7

DRAFT Subs HSC 2025 [Link] 1 22/07/2025 19:05

Howard Jacobson diary_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 7 20/08/2025 10:15

 POLITICS|JAMES HEALE

Sea change

N
igel Farage is adept at riding the under the direction of Jonathan Brown, the to double to 39. At one meeting in Bristol, an
currents of British politics. When he party’s previous COO. attendee told the room: ‘I am 25 years old.
named Reform after the Canadian With Reform boasting a ten-point aver- All I have ever known is decline.’ Such com-
party in 2020, it was a statement of intent. age polling lead, senior aides believe it’s ments reflect a broader sense of pessimism
Like Preston Manning in the 1990s, he aimed time for influential figures to start nailing among the young. Ipsos polling suggests that
to displace this country’s main centre-right their colours to the mast. ‘The revolution will Gen Z seem to be starting from a lower base
party and refashion it in his image. But where be kind to those that came early,’ says one. of trust in their peers and institutions than
Manning fell short, handing over the reins to ‘But the clock is ticking for people to make previous generations.
Stephen Harper, Farage aims to go one better up their minds.’ The government, meanwhile, is trying to
by becoming prime minister himself. Farage’s ‘Broken Britain’ thesis fits well ride out the storm. At the Design Museum
A keen angler, Farage has spent his few with the shifting tides on the broader right. last month, Pat McFadden, Chancellor of
moments of downtime this summer fish- Leading Tories such as Robert Jenrick and the Duchy of Lancaster, told digital inno-
ing. On one such trip, he took an assembled Nick Timothy are among those discovering vators to ‘forget chainsaws and wrecking
group of journalists to the English Chan- a renewed interest in the writings of Charles balls, that’s not what we are about’. He pre-
nel to highlight the small boat crossings. de Gaulle and Roger Scruton, who dwelt on ferred to flag up ‘the turnaround of the pass-
Amid rising discontent, with protests out- the theme of institutions that become cor- port service’ as a ‘great example’ of ‘when
side asylum seeker hotels, Farage has netted rupted or infiltrated. the state has done really well’. Rather than
a tidy haul of Tory defectors, including the Conservative MPs increasingly express kicking down the barn, Labour believes it
Welsh MS Laura Ann Jones and London similar sentiments when they talk of the can build on what is already there by mod-
councillor Laila Cunningham. More are courts and the Church. ‘To save the village ernising Whitehall. Plans will be set out
expected shortly. As well as new faces join- this autumn to expand existing civil ser-
ing Reform, there are old ones too. Jack Duf- At its annual conference, Reform vice access schemes for those joining from
fin, a longtime loyalist, is the party’s new aims to show how much the working-class backgrounds.
director of campaigns. In recent weeks, Labour has stepped up its
In a fortnight’s time, Reform will head party has grown in the past year attacks on Farage – a sign, Reform insiders
to Birmingham for its annual conference. say – of increasing desperation. Ministers
‘The next step’ is this year’s slogan. Aside we have to burn it,’ says one MP of the post- have reportedly been authorised to accuse
from the usual pyrotechnics, the event aims Blair settlement. Kemi Badenoch has hand- him of being on the side of sex offenders like
to show how much the party has grown in ed policy renewal to Neil O’Brien, a staunch Jimmy Savile in opposing the Online Safe-
the past year. Reform are trying to form their critic of the ECHR. His journey from a sun- ty Act, while backbenchers are encouraged
own quasi-shadow cabinet, with key figures nier form of Cameroon-style conservatism is to direct their fire at him in parliament.
focusing on specific areas. Andrea Jenkyns seen by some colleagues as emblematic of Following an article in The Spectator
and Lee Anderson will speak on a broader many Tories’ direction of travel. Incremen- last week about ‘Labour’s “dark arts” strat-
mix of themes and topics than last year. The talism is out; radicalism is in. egy’, lawyers for George Cottrell, a long-
party’s long-awaited deportation strategy is New groups which reflect the mounting time unpaid adviser to Farage, have written
expected to be unveiled next week. public frustration at Britain’s direction have to Morgan McSweeney, Starmer’s chief of
The party is currently bolstering its policy formed to offer fresh ways to channel these staff, and the Labour party to demand an
team but will adopt an à la carte approach to objections. Toby Young’s Free Speech Union explanation. Cottrell believes he is the vic-
ideas taken from elsewhere. The influential has seen its membership jump from 14,000 tim of ‘defamation at industrial scale’. After
Prosperity Institute, formerly Legatum, has to 32,000 in a year under Keir Starmer’s the article was published, a Substack dedi-
extensive cross-party contacts and is cred- government. ‘Looking for Growth’, founded cated to attacking Cottrell disappeared,
ited by Farage with ‘bringing fresh, young by Dr Lawrence Newport, is trying to create along with its associated X account. A sub-
talent into current affairs’. The Cambridge a cross-party consensus to foster pro-growth ject access request has been filed to Labour,
academic James Orr, who helped to organ- policies. It has 19 chapters, and that is set requesting any data the party has on Cottrell.
ise J.D. Vance’s Cotswolds trip, sits on its Downing Street sources categorically deny
advisory board alongside Lord Ridley and the existence of any new ‘attack team’ in
recently attended a Reform press conference. No. 10 with the remit of challenging Reform.
What Orr calls the ‘politics of national pref- The going is sure to get tougher for
erence’ fits well with Farage’s embrace of Reform but Farage is prepared. It was Jim
steel subsidies and water renationalisation. Callaghan who said: ‘Perhaps once every
A handful of newer thinktanks are well 30 years, there is a sea change in politics.
placed to flourish, too. Some are run by one- It then does not matter what you say or do.
time Farage allies. There is Fix Britain, led There is a shift in what the public wants and
by Matthew Patten, a former Brexit party what it approves of.’
MEP, and the Centre for Migration Control, Much of the right is betting on such a
set up by former aide Rob Bates. The Cen- ‘When I get to Britain I want to be so rich the sea change in 2029, with Farage – for now
tre for a Better Britain launches next month wealth tax forces me to leave the country.’ – most likely to be the captain at the helm.
8 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

PolCol James Heale_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 8 20/08/2025 13:16

 Charles Moore

A currently fashionable conservatism

is militantly against Ukraine and, by
more cautious implication, pro-Russia.
Norman – who could be described as
upper-class, and even he might have
reached only class 2 according to
We who disagree are, I quote Matthew Massingberd’s exacting criteria. What
Parris in these pages last week, ‘prey to applies to the Tories applies, a fortiori,
the illusion that the second world war to all MPs. So when parliament is more
was a template for future conflict, and despised than at any time since the
Hitler a template for Putin’. Others put Great Reform Bill, it is also the least
it more unkindly, speaking of ‘Ukraine aristocratic it has ever been. Are these
brain’ as a mental affliction among the two phenomena related?
Cold War generations. One should not
project the entire second world war on
to now, but some similarities with the
1930s are undeniable. Dictator exploits
them. Militarism and economic reform,
where the former is so triumphant and the
I wish all the argument about pronouns
had been raging when I was a teenager.
That was the time when it first became
resentment at what he says is an unequal latter so urgent, are the lion and the lamb commonplace to address God as ‘You’
treaty after defeat; claims land in various which will never lie down together.’ They in the liturgy and in translations of the
places as the true property of his people; never did, though Gorbachev tried. The lion Bible. I was against the change then
occupies some of it, changing borders ate the lamb long ago. because it sacrificed beauty, but I could
by the threat of force, later by direct never quite answer those who said it was
force; keeps demanding more; keeps
threatening. The European democracies
mostly dislike what is happening, but
T om Gordon, a Liberal Democrat MP,
is leading a campaign to recruit more
working-class people for parliament. He
better to speak to God less formally and
more intimately. In my then ignorance,
I did not know that ‘Thou’, as is the
understandably wish to appease. As it praises the few ‘salt of the earth guys who case with the second person singular in
all gets nastier, some incline to criticise are making it all happen’ in his part of many other languages, was historically
the behaviour of the victim nations and England (Harrogate and Knaresborough: the more intimate and loving form, and
their leaders (Benes then; Zelensky now) not, it must be said, a super-working-class so I did not understand that the plural
and downplay the sins of the aggressor. area). Mr Gordon does not confront the ‘You’ was the more distant one. The use
Matthew, for example, wants Zelensky to problem that nowadays the working class of ‘You’ is also theologically inaccurate,
‘get off his high horse’ without noticing has been almost abolished, partly by the since it grammatically implies that there
that Putin’s horse is much, much higher. largely good trend of upward mobility and is more than one God. The Trinity, after
The United States wants as little to do partly by the largely bad one of a welfare all, are not some things. It is one thing.
with it as possible. Dictator has a much system which pays the poorly educated
firmer purpose than his democratic
opponents, so he wins. At first, only the
direct victim suffers. Later, all of us do.
not to work. Looking at the 2024 intake
of MPs, I would say that by far the greater
problem is that so many, whatever their
R ecently, I booked a hotel room in the
north of England. We could have
‘de luxe’ or ‘superior’. It was explained
This argument is not exact, but it is not family roots, came into politics through to me that superior, in this context,
idiotic either. politics/activism/politicised charity work, meant inferior: de luxe had been recently
and know about nothing else. Looking at ‘refreshed’; superior had not. We were

E lsewhere in this week’s issue, Ursula

Buchan writes about her grandfather
John Buchan’s time at The Spectator, the
the question in class terms, I would say
the more noticeable absence is members
of the upper class. Nearly 40 years ago,
inclined to take ‘de luxe’, but then I
asked whether de luxe had baths. No,
it had only walk-in showers. Superior,
grounding for his career in political life I commissioned a scholarly piece (The however, had baths. So we took superior,
and as a celebrated novelist. His very Spectator, 3 May 1986) by the late Hugh thereby saving more than £100. This
first article for the paper (20 January Montgomery-Massingberd called ‘The must be the first generation in human
1900) was called ‘The Russian Imperial Descent of Tory Man’. It analysed the history which has paid less for a room
Ideal’. Buchan identified ‘the two parties social class of all Conservative MPs at that with a bath than for one without. Why
in the [Tsarist] government… both Thatcher high tide and found 19 (including the change? I can think of four possible
vigorous, one demanding internal reform, William Waldegrave, Nicholas Ridley, Lord reasons: 1) Americans prefer showers.
the other seeking external empire. At Cranborne and Nicholas Soames) in the top 2) Showers save water, and therefore
present she seems to have chosen for the social class, 33 in the second highest, 86 in the planet. 3) Showers save space,
latter, but… an Empire and commercial the third, and the majority (there were 392 and therefore property cost. 4) Many
supremacy can only be built upon a Tories at that time) in classes four to ten. customers are too old or fat to get out of
genuine and healthy national life, and Trying to apply that analysis to the present baths. In another generation, will baths
Russia, while she has the materials for 121 Conservatives, I can think of only be objects only of historical interest,
such a life, has hitherto neglected to use one – the wise and public-spirited Jesse like mangles?

the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 9

Charles Moore_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 9 20/08/2025 12:19

 Divide and conquer
Putin has set a trap for Europe and Ukraine
OWEN MATTHEWS

T
hough you wouldn’t know from White House telling his European
the smiles around the table at guests: ‘I think Putin wants to make
the White House this week, a a deal. You understand that? As crazy
trap has been set by Vladimir Putin as it sounds!’ In fact, it doesn’t sound
designed to split the United States from crazy at all – Putin undoubtedly does
its European allies. In Washington on want to make a deal. But what Trump
Monday, Europe’s leaders, plus Sir has not yet grasped is that Putin wants
Keir Starmer and Volodymyr Zelensky, to make it on his own terms.
agreed with Donald Trump that the kill- And therein lies Putin’s trap. His
ing in Ukraine should and can be ended plan for the endgame in the war is to
as soon as possible. They lavished do everything in his power to convince
praise on Trump for reaching out to the Trump – his new best buddy and busi-
Kremlin, despite having themselves ness partner – that he is behaving rea-
treated Putin as a pariah for the past sonably, making concessions, bending
three years. And they even enthusias- over backwards to keep dialogue open.
tically applauded the notion of security At the same time, he will lay down a
guarantees similar to Nato’s Arti- series of conditions that Zelensky will
cle Five ‘all-for-one and one-for-all’ mutu- legitimate concerns of Russia and reinstate a refuse to accept.
al defence clause as a way to safeguard just balance of security in Europe and in the At which point Europe will be forced to
Ukraine’s borders in the future. world on the whole’. But to Putin that ‘just choose between heroic and principled words
But behind every one of these apparently balance’ means a withdrawal of most Nato about refusing to compromise Ukraine’s
promising areas of agreement lurks a fatal forces from countries along Russia’s borders. sovereignty – which would mean support-
misunderstanding of the intentions of the one The remark that has caused most excite- ing Ukraine’s war effort without US assis-
man in the world who has the power to make ment among European leaders was Putin’s tance – and an ignoble compromise with
the war stop – Putin. assurance that ‘naturally we are prepared to the Kremlin.
Let us not forget that the Washington work on’ Trump’s suggestion that ‘the secu- Take the ‘land swaps’ which Trump has
talks were based on Trump and his team’s rity of Ukraine should be secured’. Trump mentioned so many times. In reality, that’s
highly optimistic interpretation of what and his team came away from Anchorage in a reference to Putin’s demand that Kyiv sur-
Putin had agreed to in Anchorage, Alaska. the belief that Putin had acquiesced to west- render control of the third of Donetsk and
That team included precisely zero Russia a small sliver of Luhansk provinces that he
experts capable of reading the hidden mean- One of Putin’s great skills has so far failed to take. In exchange, Putin
ing behind Putin’s weasel words. Steve Wit- proposes to withdraw from small chunks
koff, Trump’s leading point man on Kremlin
is appearing to be constructive of Sumy and Kharkiv provinces that he
affairs, is a real estate lawyer with no expe- when in fact he’s being insincere occupies, and also drop his claim on the
rience of diplomacy. And the last time that remainder of Kherson and Zaporizhia. Effec-
Trump himself spoke in person to Putin, in ern security guarantees – and Secretary of tively he’s demanding some very valuable
Helsinki in 2018, he was quickly persuad- State Marco Rubio and Witkoff himself have and heavily defended real estate – including
ed by his Russian counterpart that Kremlin been touting that as a major breakthrough. the fortress cities of Kramatorsk, Sloviansk
election interference was all just a big hoax. In truth it’s no such thing. Security and Konstantinovka – in exchange for land
One of Putin’s great skills is appearing to guarantees were discussed at length dur- that he has not yet been able to conquer.
be measured and constructive when in fact ing the abortive peace talks between Russia Amazingly, Trump has reportedly agreed
he’s being insincere, intransigent or plain and Ukraine in Istanbul in April 2022, and that this is a reasonable price for Kyiv to
threatening. Take his innocuous-sounding detailed plans of what those guarantees pay for peace. Yet Zelensky cannot surren-
remarks at the post-summit Anchorage press might look like were included in three drafts der this territory either politically or practi-
conference. In order to achieve a long-term of a peace deal that was never signed. Back cally. Tens of thousands of Ukrainians have
settlement in Ukraine, Putin said: ‘We need then Russia, absurdly, tried to insist on itself died defending those positions, and it’s pos-
to eliminate all the primary root causes of being a guarantor of Ukraine’s security as sible that his troops would refuse orders to
the conflict.’ Decoded, that is a clear refer- in the Budapest Memorandum of 1994, withdraw even if he tried to make them. And
ence to Putin’s historical thesis that Ukraine and on having a veto over any intervention. Ukraine’s ultranationalists would be literal-
is an invented country that has been used But that point was never resolved after ly up in arms over such a betrayal, making
for centuries by Russia’s enemies as a base Europe promised Ukraine it could win the Ukraine instantly ungovernable.
from which to attack Moscow – and in his war in the field rather than compromise at Putin has laid a similar political mine-
view remains so today. He called, apparent- the negotiating table. field for Zelensky and his European allies
ly reasonably, for Trump to ‘consider all the Trump was caught on a hot mic in the over legal recognition of the territories he
10 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

Owen Matthews_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 10 20/08/2025 13:21

 has occupied. Again, Trump is reportedly in Goodbye, Things
favour of forcing Kyiv to de jure recognise
Crimea as Russian, while leaving the rest of I emptied my drawers
occupied Ukraine in a legal limbo. Again,
such a humiliation would be political death and cleared the flat.
for any Ukrainian leader who made it and I sleep on an inch-thick mat.
incur the armed wrath of legions of angry, Want this. Want that.
heavily armed, well-organised and political-
ly vocal veterans groups such as Azov. Not any more.
Putin has dozens more such humiliations
in store for Kyiv and its backers before he I dream in black and white.
is ready to end his assault on Ukraine. On Colour distracts me.
the economic front, his wish list includes
the lifting of sanctions, a resumption of
You only need to own three
flights and the unfreezing of billions of Cen- T-shirts, exactly.
tral Bank assets. On the geopolitical front, I dream in light.
he wants a constitutional guarantee that
Throw your books in the dirt
The brutal truth is that for the past and light the fire.
three years the Europeans have been Watch the flames climb higher,
lying to Ukraine and themselves higher, higher…
Ukraine will never join Nato and restrictions It will not hurt.
on weapons and troops Nato can deploy to
border countries such as the Baltic states, —Jeremy Wikeley
Romania and Poland, as well as an assur-
ance of no more Nato eastward expansion
to Moldova and Georgia.
In Ukraine, he would demand the be willing to [fund] this war yourself.’ The oni spoke in Washington this week (albe-
enshrinement of Russian as an official lan- US, for its part, ‘wants to bring about a it accompanied by extravagant air quotes)
guage, granting Russian-speaking regions peaceful settlement to this thing, we want sound formidable. The problem is that secu-
the right to their own education and exam- to stop the killing’, he added. Trump has rity guarantees have to be credible to work.
inations, and the restoration of the proper- repeatedly promised to do his best to play the And will Putin believe that Starmer or
ties of the wing of the Ukrainian Orthodox peacemaker. But if the Ukrainians and their Macron will send their voters’ sons to fight
Church which remains loyal to the Moscow allies don’t wish to agree, Washington will over Donbas, when they have already said
Patriarchate. He would also insist on scrap- walk away. ‘Keep fighting,’ wrote Trump that their proposed minuscule peacekeeping
ping Ukrainian laws banning Soviet symbols last week. ‘Good luck.’ force will be ‘backstopped’ by US air power?
and suppressing the memory of Soviet-era The brutal truth is that for the past three Of more practical use is a proposal to
war heroes and cultural figures, in addition years the Europeans have been lying to create a network of air defences made of
to allowing towns to restore demolished mon- Ukraine and themselves. In the spring of Patriot batteries and drones along the length
uments to Russian tsars and writers. Putin 2022, Europe, led by Boris Johnson, encour- of Ukraine’s border, funded by Europe.
would have Kyiv un-ban Russian-language aged Zelensky to fight on and promised That’s what Ukraine’s reported offer to buy
radio and TV stations and newspapers, Ukraine ‘as much support as they need for $100 billion in US weaponry is about, and
as well as political parties sympathetic to as long as they need it’. Ukraine kept its part includes a staggering $50 billion to develop
Moscow, and unfreeze the assets of the 5,000 of the bargain, and with the help of hun- new-generation drones in partnership with
people sanctioned for being pro-Russian by dreds of billions in military and financial the world’s biggest experts in Ukraine itself.
Ukrainian presidential decree. aid pushed Putin’s far larger army back from Ben Wallace, the former UK defence
That’s to mention just the top dozen of over half of the territory it once occupied. secretary, has called Trump the ‘appeaser-
Putin’s demands. Some he will get, some he That’s an extraordinary achievement. in-chief’ and warned that the peace process
won’t. But we can be sure that he will push But it hasn’t been enough to win. And by could be ‘another Munich 1938’, when inde-
for all of them, and more. this point many of Kyiv’s most passionate pendent Czechoslovakia was sacrificed to
defenders in Europe are starting to acknowl- Hitlerite aggression. But that is a bad anal-

T he question for Europe is stark: what will

they do if and when Ukraine refuses to
submit? If Trump is fine about surrendering
edge that there is little military or political
point in fighting on. Others, like the Baltic
nations, disagree.
ogy. At Munich, Sir Neville Chamberlain
failed to avert war. Today’s Ukraine, with
western help, has failed to win a war. But
the remainder of Donbas, we can be sure that For those allies who believe that it’s time neither have they lost. Instead, like Finland
he’s not likely to take a stand against Putin to call it a day, the main point that remains in 1941, they have heroically fought a much
over such details as statues of Pushkin or to be decided is how Ukraine’s reduced stronger adversary to a halt and saved 80 per
the rights of the suppressed Russian Church new borders can be protected in a way that cent of their country and now face a bloody,
(a major grievance for religious-minded Putin will not dare to challenge. Starmer attritional stalemate.
MAGA supporters). and Emmanuel Macron’s idea of putting Putin would like nothing more than for
J.D. Vance, the US Vice-President, has Nato boots on the ground is foolish and Europe to encourage Ukraine to fight on, and
made his position on Europe clear. ‘This is misunderstands that the basis of Putin’s par- to lose even more of their land and independ-
your neck of the woods... you guys have anoid logic in starting the war was to avoid ence. The question Ukraine’s friends must
got to step up and take a bigger role in this precisely that outcome. ask themselves today is whether it’s time to
thing,’ he said earlier this month. ‘If you The ‘Nato Article Five-like’ security choose an unjust peace over a righteous but
care so much about this conflict you should guarantees of which Italy’s Giorgia Mel- never-ending war.
the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 11

Owen Matthews_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 11 20/08/2025 13:21

 Peace offering BAROMETER

Trump has given Zelensky cause for hope Suit cases

SVITLANA MORENETS Volodymyr Zelensky again failed to wear
a suit and tie to a meeting at the White
House, in spite of being asked to do so –
although Donald Trump did say he looked
‘fabulous’ in his black button-up suit.
What did Allied leaders wear to the great

O
n Volodymyr Zelensky’s last visit referendum. Polls show there is little to no conferences in the second world war?
to the White House, he brought a chance of that happening – although it’s — Cairo 1943: Winston Churchill
gift: a championship belt from one possible to see Ukrainians accepting a fro- wore a white suit with bow tie; Franklin
of Ukraine’s boxing legends. But talks col- zen conflict along the current front line. But D. Roosevelt a lounge suit with striped tie;
lapsed before the gift-giving stage. This withdrawing troops from the 2,500 square and the Chinese leader Chiang Kai-shek
time, he brought a golf club from a wound- miles of the Donetsk region that are still a military uniform.
ed soldier and a letter from Olena Zelenska, under Ukrainian control (as Putin demands) — Tehran 1943: Churchill and Stalin both
Ukraine’s first lady, to Melania Trump. Don- is a non-starter. It would not just condemn wore military uniform; Roosevelt wore a
ald Trump not only accepted them but recip- hundreds of thousands of Ukrainians to pinstriped suit.
rocated with symbolic ‘keys to the White Moscow’s occupation but also give Putin — Yalta 1945: The photo session was held
House’. The exchange signalled that Trump, the ‘fortress belt’, the 30-mile defensive line outside in cold weather. Churchill wore
a thick civilian coat, FDR a cape over a
who once slammed the door on Ukraine, is comprising four cities and fortifications that
lounge suit, and Stalin a military greatcoat.
now willing to listen, if the approach is right. he has failed to breach since 2014.
Just six months ago, Trump was ruling Iryna Gerashchenko, an opposition MP Cool customers
out any American role in guaranteeing peace and co-chair of European Solidarity, the
in Ukraine. This week, such guarantees are second largest party in the Ukrainian par- According to the English Housing Survey,
at the centre of negotiations in Washington. liament, called on Zelensky not to reward just 3% of households use air conditioning.
Zelensky has offered to buy a $90 billion Russian aggression. ‘Any concessions to the How does this compare internationally?
package of US weapons, funded by Europe, aggressor only open the way to a new war,’ India 5%
in exchange for a postwar security commit- she said. She participated in the 2015 Minsk South Africa 6%
ment from America. Trump has not hard- negotiations, when Ukraine managed to Indonesia 9%
ened his stance on Russia, but he has grasped secure a Russian signature beneath the prom- EU 10%
the leverage Ukraine offers him as media- ise to respect all Ukrainian borders, despite Mexico; Brazil 16%
tor, dealmaker and eventual guarantor. For de facto occupation at the time. She warned China 60%
Saudi Arabia 63%
Zelensky, the challenge ahead will be con- Zelensky not to settle for anything less. ‘It is
South Korea 86%
verting this new openness into something obvious that any agreements in Washington US 90%
lasting before Trump changes his mind. are shattered by Kremlin realities, because Japan 91%
In last week’s Alaska summit between Putin is not going to change his plans to com- Source: International Energy Agency
Russia and the US, Vladimir Putin secured pletely absorb Ukraine, to destroy Ukrainian
the most important concession from Trump: identity and statehood,’ she said. Inflated figures
the chance to negotiate without a ceasefire. The belief that a peace deal without prop-
Russian bomber jets attacked the Ukrainian er security means another war runs deep in Train fares will again increase in line
city of Kremenchuk as soon as Zelensky left Ukraine. In my trips to the front line, every with the Retail Price Index (RPI) rather
the White House. Putin has been stalling the soldier I spoke to was convinced of one than the government’s preferred measure
negotiations since March to give his troops thing: after this war, there will be another. of inflation, the Consumer Price Index
time to advance on the battlefield. In Alaska, Russia’s ultimate goal is to erase Ukrainian (CPI). How much faster has the RPI risen
word is that Putin offered to stop the killing sovereignty. ‘The Russian war machine is compared with the CPI?
RPI CPI
in return for the Donbas and the recognition not in a state to stop. It will keep rolling. It is
Over 10 years 57% 39%
of Crimea as Russian, among other demands. too big,’ Vitaliy Lytvyn, the commander of 20 years 111% 78%
But Zelensky has no legal power to the artillery division in the National Guard, 30 years 172% 106%
redraw Ukraine’s borders, even if he were told me in Pokrovsk a few months ago. 6RXUFH2I¿FHIRU1DWLRQDO6WDWLVWLFV
minded to. This is why it’s hard to see any After Alaska, Trump said he had decided
peace treaty materialising when, in a few to go straight to a final deal rather than a Home workers
weeks, he and Putin meet for the first time ceasefire. It’s hard to see how long that will
since the 2022 invasion. Moscow and Kyiv take. ‘President Trump has brokered on Grant Harrold, formerly one of the butlers
remain miles apart on most issues and Putin’s average about one peace deal or ceasefire at Highgrove, published his memoirs. How
strategy is to put forward conditions that he per month during his six months in office,’ many homes in Britain employ staff?
knows Ukraine can’t accept. said Karoline Leavitt, the White House press — According to the Work Foundation,
The mood in Ukraine is still combusti- secretary, last month. Whatever the accuracy 1 in 10 households employs staff, with
ble. According to recent polling, almost 70 of her claim, it speaks to his self-image of a 2m employed in this way. However, that
includes part-time cleaners – there are
per cent support a negotiated end to the war peacemaker. If he is to broker a peace deal
rather fewer liveried butlers.
as soon as possible: a big shift from three now, he will need to secure binding, enforce- — The ONS Annual Population Survey
years ago, when 73 per cent wanted to fight able guarantees that stop Putin from regroup- found there are 15,200 full-time and
until victory. But the majority are still firmly ing and returning for the third time. There is 25,900 part-time housekeepers, and
against ceding territories to Russia. more hope than ever before that this is under- 111,200 full-time and 47,100 part-time
Under Ukraine’s constitution, any deal stood in Trump’s White House. And that, for gardeners.
that cedes land would need approval in a Zelensky, is progress.
12 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

Svitlana Morenets Barometer_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 12 20/08/2025 12:09

 ROD LIDDLE

A few things
worth flagging...

I
don’t quite see the point of flying Union back of his mind is the notion that it’s proba- The stoic refusal of many to embrace the
flags in Tower Hamlets, or complain- bly just those football hoolies again, the ones culture of the country in which they have
ing about it when the council takes them who rioted last summer. What he is missing, made their homes and in many cases the
down. This squalid little fiefdom run by the then, is the importance of the current pro- espousal of aggressive and hostile views
deeply corrupt Lutfur Rahman is not part tests – the weight of numbers behind them, rooted in an implacable creed which always
of the UK: it is a suburb of Sylhet, with all the fact that it is not just yer usual suspects, takes precedence.
that such a location might entail. This would the depth of anger it conceals and the prob- But even this is not the main reason the
include the mayor himself, who once rigged lems which thus lie in store in the future. The tension has been simmering both last year
the votes and used imams to intimidate voters. UK is quite quickly tipping towards serious and this. More than anything it is a blind
Of course it is true that London is headed civil disorder: in many parts of the country, fury at the way in which our elected repre-
the same way as Tower Hamlets and will get whitey has had more than enough. A clever sentatives have allowed this to happen – and
there depressingly soon, an upheaval aided government would work out why this might even welcomed it. And more even than this,
by the self-flagellating liberals who still be and do something about it. Unfortunately, the way in which the British seem at every
choose to live in the capital and whose yearn- we do not have one. turn to be having their noses rubbed in it.
ing for self-annihilation is close to absolute. Brits have never hitherto been disposed The Australian sociologist Karen Sten-
The temptation is to write off our first city, towards waving the flag about. It has always ner, in her book The Authoritarian Dynam-
and maybe others, too, come to that. been my contention that any country where ic, analysed what it was that made people
Tower Hamlets is certainly by no conceiv- cease displaying a peaceable nature when
able stretch of the imagination particularly I wonder if it has occurred to the faced with large-scale immigration and
‘British’. It is, rather, a fly-blown satrapy government to ask why Operation become inflamed and angry (authoritarian,
where many of the locals at best are igno- in her words). She found it was precisely
rant of our culture and at worst despise Raise the Colours has taken off this – when they have their noses rubbed
and loathe it. A significant minority of the in it. When they perceive that everything is
population can barely speak English (6 per there are too many national flags on view is tilted against them. When the entire estab-
cent) and half of the population are foreign feeling very insecure about itself and is head- lished order insists that ‘diversity’ is bloody
born. Now, if you believe in multicultural- ed for trouble. This is broadly the position of marvellous and we can’t have enough of it
ism you will have no problem with that, I the UK right now, perhaps for the first time. and that Britain’s history is steeped in wick-
suppose – and would probably advance the And it is not terribly difficult to see how we edness. That nothing whatsoever beneficial
argument that people from the same ethnic have been brought to this point. Yes, much of came of colonialism. That black people and
groups tend to band together, although that it is down to the sheer weight of numbers of other minorities should be hugely over-rep-
understanding of human nature would not, immigrants coming into the country. resented in our films, dramas and adverts on
of course, extend to white British people. But it is not just the weight of numbers. the television and that the rest of us should
When they express a preference for living It is also partly the manner in which many of suck it up without question. That white peo-
among their ‘own kind’, they are told that these incomers have behaved which grates ple are inherently, unavoidably racist and
they are racist scumbags and had better get a little. The way in which towns and cities that we should be at the back of the queue
with the project, sharpish. have been overwhelmed, changing entirely for any job we might fancy.
I wonder if it has occurred to any members the nature of once familiar neighbourhoods. That if we start to question a possible
of our government to ask why this whole connection between the religion of Islam
Operation Raise the Colours business has and a certain predilection towards deranged
taken off and why quite so many people homicidal violence we will be guilty of
seem to be taking part in it. My suspicion is Islamophobia and prosecuted. That if we
that while Sir Keir Starmer feigns an affec- tweet our anger we will be prosecuted. You
tion for the flag of our country and will even can get away with this stuff for just so long
wave one about when the England team are – and then even the mildest-mannered will
playing football, especially if it is the chicks, start waving a flag saying, in effect: we’re
he almost certainly thinks that people with still here, just.
too fond an affection for the Union Jack and
the cross of St George are right-wing racists [Link]/RODLIDDLE
and entirely deplorable. Filed away in the µ4XLFNVRQ±KHUHFRPHWKHÀDJSROLFH¶ The debate continues online.
the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 13

Rod_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 13 20/08/2025 13:17

 Drug bust
America’s healthcare system keeps the NHS afloat – for now
MICHAEL SIMMONS

‘A
friend of mine who’s other areas of British medi-
slightly overweight, cine too. Weight-loss jabs have
to put it mildly, went become the symbol of American
to a drug store in London,’ Don- pharma – and its many excess-
ald Trump said aboard Air Force es – but they are by no means
One. Earlier he had told report- the only miracle drug we get
ers: ‘He was able to get one of for cheap. Take Casgevy, a US-
the fat shots. “I just paid $88 and made gene therapy that can treat
in New York I paid $1,300. What the blood conditions beta thalas-
the hell is going on? It’s the same semia and sickle cell disease.
box, made in the same plant, by One dose costs more than £1.6
the same company.”’ million at list price. Thanks to its
You can see why the dealmaker-in- The company knows the NHS won’t actu- clout as the country’s single dominant buyer,
chief was irked. And when Trump is irked, ally pay that much: it has already negotiated the NHS has secured a confidential – though
someone usually pays the price. In May, substantial discounts for the doses it pre- significant – discount.
the President signed an executive order for scribes. But by hiking the list price on the Casgevy’s eye-watering price is easy to
‘most-favoured-nation prescription drug highest dose (which relatively few patients justify: therapies at the frontier of medicine
pricing for American patients’. It was a use), while cutting the private deals on lower cost billions to develop. British politicians
warning to drug companies, as well as other doses, Lilly can appease Washington and love to remind us that the UK is a world lead-
countries, that Americans were tired of pay- protect its market at the same time. er in life sciences, and in many ways that’s
ing nearly three times more for the same For now, anyway. But demand is pick- true, but it’s the US that is funding nearly
medicines as patients abroad. The US is ing up. In Britain, around 1.5 million people half of all global life-sciences research and
home to less than 5 per cent of the world’s are already on weight-loss drugs, with 90 development. Trump, in typical fashion,
population and yet American consumers per cent paying out of pocket. Most take wants the credit – or at least cheaper price
account for almost three-quarters of global Mounjaro, while a smaller number are tags. But drug makers won’t cut their profits;
pharmaceutical profits, because manufac- they’ll shrink everyone else’s discounts. The
turers heavily discount their drugs overseas Trump’s war on drug pricing NHS’s bargaining power may shield patients
and make up the difference by inflating pric- for a time, but price rises are coming. UK
es in the States.
will affect other areas of British officials know it, too.
As the President puts it, ‘freeloading’ medicine beyond weight-loss jabs Even before the latest hikes on the fat
foreign customers ‘get a free ride’. He’s not jabs, government papers released alongside
wrong. But while Trump may get his wish on Wegovy, the sister drug to Ozempic. the US-UK trade talks in May noted that the
in stopping overseas health systems from Novo Nordisk, the Danish manufacturer of NHS would look at the concerns of the Presi-
getting cheaper deals, it’s not obvious that Wegovy, has agreed to keep its UK price low dent. No prime minister or health secretary
profit-making companies will cut their pric- for the time being. But costs will eventually could openly sign up to higher drug costs
es in America. The more likely response is be driven up for Wegovy users too if Moun- borne by the NHS, but they knew Trump had
that they’ll raise them everywhere else. jaro users, faced with a much bigger bill, not finished going after what he considers to
Eli Lilly, the American pharmaceutical convert to Wegovy en masse, squeezing sup- be unfair trade practice.
giant behind the weight-loss jab Mounjaro, ply. Fat loss clinics are already seeing a 500 The uncomfortable truth for the British is
has announced that from September the to 600 per cent increase in Brits switching that as much as we mock US healthcare as
recommended retail price of its strongest to Wegovy, which – come September – will extortionate and venerate our NHS as sacred,
JOHN BROADLEY

monthly dose in Britain will leap from £122 cost half the price of Mounjaro. we live off America’s excess. The Ameri-
to £330 – inflation of more than 170 per cent. Trump’s war on drug pricing will affect can healthcare system is Britain’s greatest
14 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

Michael Simmons_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 14 20/08/2025 12:17

 scapegoat: it’s absurdly expensive, highly tive to manufacturers that they’ll reward us
inefficient and still doesn’t manage to pro- by maintaining drug discounts.
vide universal coverage. Indeed, it’s the only That’s the real motivation behind Wes
healthcare system in the developed world Streeting’s planned reforms for the NHS,
that can distract from just how poor our own which are championed by his supporters as
is: a ‘National Health Service’ that falls short a way to improve the patient experience and
of practically every standard and target set attacked by his critics as a covert means of
for it. The NHS survives only because we privatising the health service. Take the single
ignore its outcomes. Measure after measure patient record, which NHS England says will
shows that plenty of people are being failed give ‘every part of the NHS a full picture of
by an expensive, yet decaying system. the patient’. Perhaps – but it will also make it
far easier to identify people for clinical trials

B ritain spends around £36 billion a year

on pharmaceuticals, £19 billion of
that coming from the NHS. Medicines are ‘Inside every fat cat there’s
and medical research.
Look at the partnership between the
Wellcome Trust and the government to cre-
already the health service’s second-biggest a fatter cat trying to get out.’ ate a £600 million health data research ser-
expense after staff. But that number would vice. The stated aim is to ‘simplify access
be a lot higher without America. Britain have cheap or ‘free’ access to life-chang- to health data and speed up research’. But
may be world-class in medical research, but ing medicines. But will we put up with the it also makes Britain an attractive place for
we spend just 0.3 per cent of GDP on drug broken system if we have to start paying pharmaceutical companies. The offer is sim-
research and development, compared with a fair whack for drugs, either directly at the ple: we’ll make it as easy and welcoming as
America’s 0.8 per cent. American money pharmacy counter or indirectly through the possible for you to do your research here,
makes Britain’s drug research possible. And increased taxation that would be needed you’ve just got to keep paying for it.
for years, until drugs lose their patent, Amer- to fund them? This is the part British politicians never
icans pay exorbitant costs which subsidise The government won’t give up our bar- want to say out loud, especially when it
the NHS’s bargain prices. gain pricing without a fight. Quietly, and comes to healthcare: someone, somewhere,
This model which so annoys Trump at significant political cost, health officials is always paying for it. Drugs aren’t ‘cheap’.
perhaps helps explain why the NHS con- will roll out a new strategy. We’re never The NHS isn’t ‘free’. There are always trade-
tinues to enjoy such widespread public going to pay American prices for drugs – offs: either higher prices, longer wait times,
support, despite its many failures. We’ll tol- the ‘free at the point of use’ funding model or uncomfortable deals and data swaps with
erate months-long waiting lists, worse sur- simply could not afford it. Instead, we’ll try Big Medicine. No matter how you spin it,
vival chances and outdated facilities if we to make our research environment so attrac- Britain’s ‘free ride’ is coming to an end.

the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 15

Michael Simmons_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 15 20/08/2025 12:17

 Let down
The hell of owning a holiday rental
WILLIAM CASH

know it can be difficult to have sympa- middle-class families are choosing to spend cottages on a Friday afternoon at around
thy for anybody who owns a holiday let, their holidays now. 4 p.m. to greet the guests, only to find the new
but for me and my wife August is often a The final straw was a few weeks ago arrivals have locked the door. These families
war between us and the holiday guests from when a group who enjoyed ‘dressing up’ in are holidaying in the middle of nowhere,
hell. It’s an open season of refund-seeking, Tudor outfits left their costumes, along with but they are often from a big city where the
blackmailing guests and wild children whose a lurid selection of rubber sex toys, by the idea of leaving a door unlocked is ‘unsafe’.
parents think we operate a kids’ club in our bins. They had asked permission to use the If the door is not locked, and I walk in to say
gardens. And it’s only getting worse. church, and after they were gone I found a ‘hello’ as their host, guests will sometimes
We got a flavour the week that schools discarded ‘Order of Service’ which includ- complain about – and even demand compen-
broke up late last month, when a group of ed a ‘hymn’ entitled ‘Lord of the Lash’ and sation for – me ‘invading’ their space.
eight adults calmly sat on the terrace in the another called ‘The King and 13 Virgins’. Part of the problem is that the new breed
sun, swilling cans of beer and prosecco as To be fair, most guests are still heavenly of staycation holiday means many of the
their pack of six children began picking up (please come back!), but the increasing trend guests are used to hotels, but can’t always
heavy pebble gravel and throwing the stones of bad guest behaviour at our mini-estate afford them. They arrive with a room-service
at the windows of my elderly parents’ barn. has meant that we have had to increase our mentality, blurring the distinction between
The barn is one of several in a court- deposit from £250 to £500. This increase client and guest.
yard that we have converted into holiday came about after I took my family away on Much of the blame for all this must be put
let cottages. The income is how we keep on the last Conservative government, when
our Shropshire historic house and gardens – Many middle-class families have it came up with the idea of allowing local
open to the public in the summer – operat- no idea how to behave on holiday authorities to add a 100 per cent premium
ing. We have no subsidies and rely on these – it is 150 per cent in parts of Wales – on
few cottages to pay for astronomical insur- or how to control their children council tax for second homes. Band H sec-
ance (up by 20 per cent in two years), laun- ond homes in places such as Cornwall, Dor-
dry costs (also up by 20 per cent this year), holiday to France last month only to get an set, west Devon, Rutland, parts of Sussex
garden upkeep and house repairs (thanks to email from my stressed mother – who was such as Lewes, and County Durham can now
George Osborne, you can’t claim VAT back holding the fort – saying that the group-stay be charged around £10,000 a year or more.
on historic building repairs). party for 16 guests was actually a lesbian More than two-thirds of councils in England
My wife – an Airbnb ‘superhost’ – and I wedding for around 45, some flying in from – including our local Telford (not known as
are unpaid estate lackeys, armed with mops, Australia. We are not a wedding venue. a holiday hotspot) – have already introduced
towers of loo paper, broken hoovers, stain The other issue we come across regular- the levy, which came into effect on 1 April.
remover and wasp repellent, helped by two ly are groups of guests, invariably younger, It is only now, in the summer holiday
saintly part-time housekeepers who do the who seize upon something – anything – to season, that the knock-on effect of this cash
‘changeovers’. We make no profit and take demand a refund. I’ve had guests try their grab is being seen. To get around the charge,
no salary, but the income just about covers luck with a boiler malfunction, cobwebs, many second-home owners have changed
the maintenance of our historic money pit. even a spider in the bath. These freebie hunt- the use of their expensive second homes to
When my 81-year-old mother leant out ers use the threat of a bad Tripadvisor review business ‘holiday let’ tax status as a way of
of her courtyard window to ask the children – or, if there’s a group, multiple bad reviews qualifying for business relief and thereby
(aged between six and 15) to kindly stop – to try to blackmail us into giving them not paying any council tax. To qualify you
vandalising her house, after a window broke, ‘compensation’. need to rent the property out for at least 105
they went on regardless like some clichéd Some middle-class adults also have very nights a year, which means lowering prices
hooligans out of EastEnders. She eventual- odd ways of behaving in the country. Some- and standards. In practice this means ever
ly had to interrupt the parents’ drinks party times I knock on the door of our holiday let larger and rowdier groups, with neighbours
to ask if they could stop their children from complaining about nuisance behaviour.
throwing stones. ‘They seemed not to care,’ To compete in this new market, holiday
my mother said later as she drained a large let agencies have advised us to install a hot
glass of wine. ‘They just said, “Don’t worry, tub to increase bookings, as they are popular
we’ll pay.”’ with group stays. We have no plans to offer
It has become increasingly evident that any such facilities. What we would find
many middle-class families have no idea inside it on a Monday morning we can only
how to behave on holiday or how to control imagine. Basic guest decorum, even when
their children. And don’t think bad behav- you are a paying guest, seems to belong to a
iour is confined to package holiday hell different summer holiday age.
resorts such as Magaluf or Mallorca. Trashy
and unruly drunken behaviour has arrived William Cash is the editor of the Mace
in British seaside coasts and shires, where – magazine and a former chairman of the
thanks to the expense of travelling abroad – ‘Or “debate” as it used to be called.’ Catholic Herald.
16 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

William Cash_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 16 20/08/2025 10:19

 Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 2025

WE’RE
DELIVERING
"E҃ REE
&$&REķ
$D+ĺ
GLLNE$REVEN&E"
R"E҃ REE&"INE""ĺ
41%
LIND"+ Ə%
U.S.
Switched to a
better alternative ƑƏ14* ƑƑƏƑƔ**

At Philip Morris International, our mission is clear:

WERE&R"E҃ REE
to reduce smoking by replacing cigarettes with better
smoke-free alternatives for adult smokers. The best 97
RE$"
RD&$"REVILLEķ
RVIDINGE$$ERL$ERN$IVE"
RLEGL҃GED&L$"ĺ*
choice a smoker can make is to quit tobacco and
*AS OF JUNE 30, 2025.
nicotine altogether. For those adults who don’t quit, the
next best option is to switch from cigarettes—the most
harmful form of nicotine consumption.
>$14 INVE"$EDIN"E҃ REE
RD&$""INEƑƏƏѶĺ*
We aim to deliver a smoke-free world and are making ILLIN *AS OF DECEMBER 31, 2024.

significant progress.

*Smoke-free business net revenues as of Q3 2014.

**Smoke-free business net revenues as of Q2 2025.
Important note: This information should be read in conjunction with the Philip Morris International Inc. earnings release dated July 22, 2025, as well
as the accompanying glossary of key terms, definitions, explanatory notes, select financial information, and reconciliations of non-GAAP financial
measures, both of which are available on our Investor Relations page. “PMI,” “We,” “Our,” & “Us” refer to the entire Philip Morris International family
of companies.

ADVERT - PMI_16 Aug 2025_The [Link] 19 12/08/2025 14:55

 LETTER FROM IRAQ
Benedict Kiely

I WLVÛ&LQ(UELOZKLFKDIULHQGKHUH
GHVFULEHVDVµFRRO¶8QOLNHP\ILUVWYLVLW
LQZKHQ,VLVZDVMXVWDIHZPLOHV
PRUHDXWKHQWLFWKHFODLPWRRZQHUVKLS
RIWKHODQG

IURPWKHDLUSRUWWKHIOLJKWLQZDVVPRRWK
7KHSODQHWKLVWLPHZDVIXOORI,UDTLVDQG
.XUGVPDLQO\WKRVHZKRKDYHHPLJUDWHG
I DPQRWDEOHWRJRLQWR0RVXOZKHUH
,KDYHEHHQWKUHHWLPHVEHIRUH
7KH6KLDPLOLWLDVDUHHQUDJHGE\WKH
UHWXUQLQJWRYLVLWWKHLUIDPLOLHV7HQ\HDUV $PHULFDQDQG,VUDHOLDWWDFNVRQ,UDQ
DJRWKHSODQHZDVHPSW\DSDUWIURPD DQGDUHORRNLQJIRUIRUHLJQHUVWRNLGQDS
IHZ$PHULFDQFRQWUDFWRUVLQIDWLJXHVDQG ERWKIRUUHYHQJHDQGPRQH\7KHFLW\
RQHORQHSULHVW7KHGHVFHQWWKHQZDV ORVWPRVWRILWV&KULVWLDQSRSXODWLRQZHOO
UDSLGWRDYRLG,VLVPLVVLOHV EHIRUH,VLVDUULYHG7KHUHDUHQRZRQO\
IRUSHUVHFXWHG&KULVWLDQVDQGWKHILUVWWR DERXWWHQ&KULVWLDQIDPLOLHVVWLOOOLYLQJ

E UELOLVWKHFDSLWDORIWKHQRUWKHDVW
.XUGLVKUHJLRQRI,UDT$IWHUWKH
EHEXLOWLQDSODFHOLEHUDWHGIURP,VLV7KH
VKULQHLVDQLFRQRI0DU\0RWKHURIWKH
WKHUHDQGRQHSULHVW

LQYDVLRQWKH.XUGVZHUHJLYHQJUHDWHU
DXWRQRP\EXWVLQFHWKHQWKH\¶YHIRXQG
WKHPVHOYHVILJKWLQJ,VLV,UDTLDUPHG
3HUVHFXWHGWREHSODFHGLQWKHEUDQGQHZ
FKXUFKRI6W(SKUDLP7KH6\ULDF&DWKROLF
DUFKELVKRSZKRUHFHLYHVWKHLFRQLVEUDYHO\
A V,HQWHUWKHWRZQRI%DUWHOOD,VHH
ELOOERDUGVSRUWUD\LQJD\DWROODKV
*HQHUDO6ROHLPDQLDQG+DVVDQ1DVUDOODK
IRUFHVDQGHYHQHDFKRWKHU7KHFDSLWDO VSHDNLQJRXWDJDLQVWWKHGRPLQDWLRQRIWKH RI+H]EROODK7KLVWRZQZDVIRUPHUO\DQ
LVILOOHGZLWKXQILQLVKHGVN\VFUDSHUVWKH PLOLWLDVSDUWLFXODUO\WKHQRWRULRXVµ%DE\ORQ &KULVWLDQHQFODYHEXWLVQRZGRPLQDWHG
RLOEXVWDQGWKHQWKHHPHUJHQFHRI,VLVLQ %ULJDGH¶UXQE\WKH86VDQFWLRQHG5D\DQ E\WKHPLOLWLDV7KHPHQLQWKHVH
PHDQWWKDWDOOSURMHFWVZHUHVWRSSHG DO.LOGDQL7KH%DE\ORQ%ULJDGHLVD ELOOERDUGVDUHGHDGNLOOHGµOLNHGRJV¶
7KRVHHPSW\EXLOGLQJVEHFDPHVKHOWHUIRU QRPLQDOO\&KULVWLDQPLOLWLDQRZIXOO\ DFFRUGLQJWR'RQDOG7UXPS,WVHHPV
WKHWKRXVDQGVRI&KULVWLDQVDQG<D]LGLV DEVRUEHGLQWRWKH6KLDPLOLWLDUXQE\,UDQ OLNHRFFXSLHGWHUULWRU\,VD\WRWKHSDULVK
ZKRZHUHGULYHQRXWRIWKHLUKRPHVE\ 7KH\DUHNQRZQIRUFXWWLQJWKHHDUVIURP SULHVW,UDTGRHVQRWH[LVWKHWHOOVPHLWLV
WKHMLKDGLV7KH.XUGVRIIHUHGWKHPVDIHW\ WKHLUGHWDLQHHV µDFRXQWU\UXQE\WKLHYHV¶DQGFRQWUROOHG
DQGWKH&KXUFKIHGWKHPZKLOHWKH81 E\,UDQ7UXPSKHVD\VFDQGHDOZLWK
ZLWKLWVH[SHQVLYH689VZDVPRVWO\
KLGGHQIURPFLW\OLIHEHKLQGDODUJHZDOO
,WGLGQRWKLQJGXULQJWKRVH,VLVGD\VDSDUW
T R1LQHYHKWKHDQFLHQW&KULVWLDQ
KRPHODQGZKHUHGLVFLSOHVRI&KULVW
DQGVRPHVD\6W7KRPDVWKH$SRVWOH
WKHSUREOHPLQILYHPLQXWHVZKLFKPD\
RUPD\QRWLQFOXGHDIHZLQGLYLGXDOV
UHFHLYLQJWKHVDPHIDWHDVWKRVHGRJV
IURPUXQQLQJXSODUJHELOOVDWWKHPRVW IRXQGHGWKH&KXUFK-RQDKHPHUJHGIURP
H[SHQVLYHKRWHOV WKHEHOO\RIWKHZKDOHWRFDOOWKHSHRSOHRI
WKHFLW\RI1LQHYHKWRUHSHQWDQFH+LVWRPE T KHILQDOVWRSLV4DUDTRVKWKH
ODUJHVW&KULVWLDQFLW\LQ,UDT$V,VLV

N RZEXLOGLQJZRUNLVVWDUWLQJDJDLQ
0DQ\RIWKHVHFRQVWUXFWLRQVLWHV
DUHSDUWRIPRQH\ODXQGHULQJVFKHPHV
LQZKDWLVQRZFDOOHG0RVXOZDVEORZQ
XSZKHQ$O%DJKGDGLGHFODUHGDFDOLSKDWH
IURPWKHJUHDWPRVTXH6LQFHWKHHPHUJHQFH
DGYDQFHGRQWKHQLJKWRI$XJXVW
WKHSRSXODWLRQIOHGWKHFLW\1RZDURXQG
SHUFHQWRIWKH&KULVWLDQSRSXODWLRQ
UXQE\ORFDOSROLWLFLDQVDQGLQSDUWLFXODU RI,VODPWKHSRSXODWLRQKDVHQGXUHGZDYHV KDVUHWXUQHG7KH\DUHWKHµVWURQJHVW
7XUNLVKFULPLQDOV7KHUHLVDFXULRXV RISHUVHFXWLRQ$IWHUWKHDOOLHGLQYDVLRQLQ RIWKHVWURQJ¶WKHSULHVWWHOOVPH,WLV
UHODWLRQVKLSEHWZHHQWKHJRYHUQPHQW DQGWKHGRZQIDOORI6DGGDP+XVVHLQ KHUHWKDWZHDUHEXLOGLQJRXUVKULQH
RI,UDTL.XUGLVWDQDQG7XUNH\:KLOH WKHSHUVHFXWLRQNLGQDSSLQJVDQGNLOOLQJV 0\FKDULW\1DVDUHDQLVWU\LQJWRKHOS
$QNDUDDWWHPSWVWRHUDGLFDWH.XUGLVK EHJDQLQHDUQHVWZLWK,VLVEHLQJRQO\WKH &KULVWLDQVKHUHE\SURYLGLQJIXQGLQJIRU
QDWLRQDOLVPLQLWVRZQFRXQWU\LWVHHPVWR PRVWH[WUHPHYHUVLRQ WKHLUVPDOOIDPLO\EXVLQHVVHV:HKRSH
KDYHGHYHORSHGDJRRGUHODWLRQVKLSZLWK WKDWE\GRLQJVRWKHQDWLYH&KULVWLDQ
WKH%DU]DQLOHGUHJLPHLQ(UELO,QVRPH
DUHDVWKHLULQWHUHVWVDOLJQ7XUNH\ZDQWV T KUHHFKHFNSRLQWVKDYHWREHQHJRWLDWHG
WRHQWHUWKH1LQHYHKSODLQILUVWWKH
RLOWRVHOOJRRGVWRWKHUHJLRQDQGKHOSLQ .XUGVWKHQWKHRIILFLDO,UDTLDUP\DQG
SRSXODWLRQZLOOVWD\UHVLVWHPLJUDWLRQ
DQGEXLOGDIXWXUH'HVSLWHWKHPLOLWLD
IODJVIOXWWHULQJHYHU\ZKHUHWKHUHLVKRSH
SXWWLQJGRZQWKHUHJLPH¶VULYDO.XUGLVK ILQDOO\WKH,UDQEDFNHG6KLDPLOLWLDV 6SHDNLQJLQ$UDPDLFWKHODQJXDJHRI
PLOLWLDZKRDOVRKDSSHQWREHILJKWLQJ 2IILFLDOO\WKHSODLQLVGHVFULEHGDV -HVXVHYHU\RQHVD\VWKHVDPHWKLQJWKH\
WKH7XUNVRQWKHLURZQVRLO7KH,VODPLF µGLVSXWHGWHUULWRU\¶EHWZHHQWKH.XUGLVK PXVWVWD\ZKDWHYHUWKHFKDOOHQJHV±LWLV
ZRUOGLVDODQGRIERWKILHUFHLGHRORJ\ JRYHUQPHQWDQGWKHJRYHUQPHQWRI,UDT WKHLUODQGWKHLUKLVWRU\DQGWKHLUIDLWK
DQGHDV\SUDJPDWLVP &KULVWLDQVGRQ¶WGLVSXWHWKHWHUULWRU\
7KH\SRLQWWRWKHLUGHDGDQGWKHDEVHQFH Father Benedict Kiely is the founder of

W HDUHKHUHWRLQVWDOODVKULQH,W
ZLOOEHWKHVHYHQWKLQWKHZRUOG
RI.XUGLVKFHPHWHULHV,W¶VDJRRGUXOHRI
WKXPEWKHPRUHDQFLHQWWKHJUDYH\DUGWKH
[Link], which provides aid and
advocacy to persecuted Christians.

18 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

Benedict Kiely notebook_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 18 20/08/2025 10:14

 DOUGLAS MURRAY

The most oppressed people ever

A
lmost a decade ago the Irish academic liferation of Palestinian politics in Irish poli- was one of the ‘celebrities’ who chose to
Liam Kennedy published a tremen- tics and the singling out of the state of Israel lobby against this decision. She said: ‘Pal-
dous book with the title Unhappy for unusual vilification. It can be seen in the estine Action is not an armed group. It has
the Land: the Most Oppressed People Ever, Irish government’s planned anti-Israel legis- never been responsible for any fatalities
the Irish? It is a dissection of one of the lation and in its other curious efforts to inter- and does not pose any risk to public safe-
most curious pathologies in the world: the pose themselves into the centre of a conflict ty.’ Which isn’t quite true. The group has
desire to have been oppressed; a glorying in in which they have absolutely no role. claimed responsibility for hundreds of inci-
being repressed. Given that the Irish government in the dents across the UK, many of which have
Kennedy, like a few other brave writers 1930s and 1940s looked at the Allies and turned violent. Last summer, Palestine
(Ruth Dudley Edwards, Malachi O’Doherty, the Nazis and found it impossible to decide Action activists broke into the Bristol HQ of
Kevin Myers) has the courage to point to an which side to come down on, the current Irish defence technology firm Elbit Systems. Two
under-examined seam in Ireland’s history. decision to draw a simplistic and ill-informed police officers were struck with a sledge-
Specifically he takes aim at the mawkish- position on the Israel-Palestine conflict is hammer and an employee suffered head
ness that exists in contemporary Irish affairs. doubly odd, until you realise that it allows injuries. One of the officers was taken to
The desire to be the first victim, perhaps the a certain type of Irish person the opportunity hospital, while his colleagues seized sledge-
greatest victim, of all victims, anywhere in hammers, axes and other weapons.
the world. In recent years, no group has been In June, Palestine Action broke into RAF
You see similar strains of aspiring victim- Brize Norton and damaged aircraft. Esti-
hood in other mini-nationalisms. Over recent
a better candidate for adoption mates of the cost of the damage run from
years, Scots and Welsh Nats have all sought by the Irish than the Palestinians £7 million to more than £30 million. One of
to join in the victimhood jamboree. Some those allegedly involved, Muhammad Umer
years ago I heard a Welsh poetess speaking to be a sort of bigger sibling in suffering to Khalid, 22, faces charges relating to criminal
to a very international and diverse audience. the Palestinians, with the side-offering of a damage and the compromising of this coun-
She made her opening plea, or boast, by say- dose of good old Irish anti-Semitism. try’s security. One of the group’s heads faces
ing that everyone should remember that the This week the newspapers led with a prosecution over a speech he made on 8
Welsh were the ‘first victims’ of colonisation story about the Irish writer Sally Rooney. October 2023, in which he said that the mas-
– a point which can only be responded to by Her novels have gained some popular sacre of Jews in Israel (named by Hamas ‘the
some combination of a yelp and a yawn. acclaim, have sold well and been adapted Al-Aqsa flood’), which was then still going
But nobody ever beat the Irish in the vic- for television. Born in 1991 in County Mayo, on, should be emulated everywhere. Or as
timhood Olympics. Whatever era in their she appears to have been well-marinaded he put it: ‘When we hear the resistance, the
history they want to look at, they can always in the prejudices of her native land. In 2021 Al-Aqsa flood, we must turn that flood into
find a narrative of suffering. Sometimes it she made headlines when she refused to a tsunami of the whole world.’
has some justification, as with the famine of have her latest book translated into Hebrew. Still, Rooney claims that a ban on Pales-
the 1800s. At other times, as with the Easter After all, we can’t allow those Hebrew-ites tine Action constitutes an ‘alarming curtail-
Rising and the IRA, the story is sugar-coated to enjoy middle-rate fiction, can we? She has ment of free speech’. The other day in the
to turn people’s attention away from the fact also called for a boycott of all Israeli cultur- Irish Times, Rooney made herself the mar-
that Irish history has been dominated by an al institutions. I don’t believe Rooney has tyr in all this, writing ominously: ‘My books,
unusual percentage of vainglorious murder- called for a boycott of any other nation at at least for now, are still published in Brit-
ers and aspiring martyrs. war, but then why would she? ain and are widely available in bookshops
As Kennedy writes: ‘There is an almost In the Guardian and elsewhere she has and even supermarkets.’ In a similarly self-
palpable sense of victimhood and exception- expounded her low-resolution understanding important vein, she declared that she intend-
alism in the presentation of the Irish national of a foreign conflict into which she seeks to ed to go on supporting Palestine Action in
past, particularly as reconstructed and dis- throw herself gleefully. Recently the group any way she could, including by donating
played for political purpose.’ Palestine Action was proscribed by the Brit- royalties from her books and TV adaptations.
Now that the Troubles are largely over, ish government as a terrorist group. Rooney Although she seems to hear the jackboots
some Irish people seem almost bored by the of the Stasi British police at her door, Roon-
peace dividend. And so they scour the Earth ey is of course Irish, and appears to live in
looking for other beleaguered people with Ireland. And so wittingly or otherwise she
whom they can claim brotherhood and whom joins a long list of Irish public figures will-
they can, in a variety of ways, patronise. ing to throw themselves into the middle of a
In recent years, no group has been a better row – any row – so long as it allows them the
candidate for adoption by the Irish than the warm, fuzzy feeling of continuing to be part
Palestinian people. It can be seen in the pro- ‘It started on social media.’ of the most oppressed people ever.
the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 19

Douglas_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 19 20/08/2025 10:42

 ‘Prince of journalistic sprinters’
How The Spectator shaped John Buchan
URSULA BUCHAN

A
mid the hullabaloo attending the 1928: ‘The kindly admonitions of Charles Pundit, publicist and jurist;
150th anniversary of the birth of Graves suppled the joints of my style, which Statistician and divine;
Mystic, mountaineer and purist
John Buchan on 26 August – the was rapidly becoming a dreadful compost of
In the high financial line;
walks and talks, the screenings of The 39 legal and philosophical jargon.’ Prince of journalistic sprinters –
Steps, the think pieces in elevated publi- He also learned to work extremely fast. Swiftest that I ever knew –
cations, the new collection of essays – one He soon began both to write his articles at Never did you keep the printers
facet of his extraordinary life is unlikely to Wellington Street and help to put the mag- Longer than an hour or two.
get much of an airing. I am thinking of his azine together. He deputised for Strachey Then, too, when the final stages
work for The Spectator, little known now, when he was away and, in early 1906, when Of our weekly task drew nigh,
yet crucial to his development as a writer. Townsend retired, he abandoned the Bar and You would come and pass the pages,
In early 1900, The Spectator was enjoy- was taken on as ‘second assistant editor’, a With a magisterial eye:
ing success as a readable Liberal Unionist, post which he held for a year until his desire Seldom pausing, save to smoke a
Cigarette at half-past one,
free trade, anti-Home Rule, political and to be married and enjoy better-paid employ- When you quaffed a cup of mocha
literary magazine, popular with educated ment prompted him to join the publishing And devoured a penny bun…
opinion-formers of a mildly conservative company Thomas Nelson and Sons. But he
bent. It was owned and edited by John St Loe One of the advantages to Buchan of his
Strachey, and it was run on a shoestring out In all, he wrote 805 articles for association with The Spectator was that he
of a tall house in Wellington Street, Covent developed an individual, attractive but liter-
Garden, with Meredith Townsend, the previ-
the magazine. (I have managed ate style, disguising but not abandoning his
ous owner, continuing to write leaders into only 350 over four decades) excellent classical education. That and learn-
his old age, and Charles L. Graves, the assis- ing to marshal innumerable facts into a read-
tant editor (and uncle of Robert), sharing the continued to contribute to The Spectator up able narrative, which augured well for his
donkey work with Strachey. until the first world war and occasionally work as Director of Information and author
My grandfather was 24 when his first arti- thereafter, including a three-month stint writ- of the 24-volume Nelson’s History of the War
cle, ‘The Russian Imperial Ideal’, appeared ing ‘A Spectator’s Notebook’ in 1933, under during the Great War.
in January 1900. But he was already the the pseudonym ‘Auspex’. By this time he was And the subjects he covered sometimes
author of three published novels, an increas- famous and fêted as a novelist, public intel- found echoes in his fiction, notably the 1906
ingly accomplished essayist, had seen three lectual, politician and celebrity journalist. In Zulu uprising in Natal province, which was
short stories published in the Yellow Book all, he wrote 805 articles for the magazine. (I led by a charismatic chief – not unlike the
and was working on The Half-Hearted, have managed only 350 over four decades.) magnificent, doomed Reverend John Lapu-
a novel which featured the Great Game Charles Graves, who possessed a kind ta of his novel Prester John, published four
between Russia and Britain. He was reading of genius for light verse, included a poem, years later.
for the Bar at the same time, so he kept quiet ‘To John Buchan’, in a published collection In 1906, towards the end of his time
about his freelance journalism, which was of 1912: working at The Spectator, he reviewed a
easy enough to do since the articles were not … Ev’ry Tuesday morn, careering
book, The King’s English, which gave him
signed. (Buchan devotees and scholars owe Up the stairs with flying feet, an opportunity to reflect on the journalist’s
a great debt to Charles Seaton, the former You would burst upon us, cheering craft: ‘We do not expect to find lyrical prose
librarian at The Spectator, for identifying his Wellington’s funereal street, in a Report or a Blue-book, nor do we seek in
work, and to Dr Roger Clarke for setting the Fresh as paint, though you’d been ‘railing’ a leading article, written to edify the man in
articles in their proper context.) Up from Scotland all the night, the train, the polished, jewel-like form of an
Or had just returned from scaling
Buchan’s value to Strachey, apart from Some appalling Dolomite…
essay composed for the delight of the man of
a long friendship, was that he could write leisure… But there is also a working model,
about almost anything: from mountaineering consciously imperfect, a kind of compromise
to philosophy, from religion to poetry, from between colloquial speech and a more for-
foreign affairs to history. His experience as a mal statement, which is, or should be, the
publisher’s reader for John Lane, which had standard for journalism… Good journalism
begun when he was at Oxford, meant that he ought to have many points of kinship with
was also invaluable as a wide-ranging book good talk, and some of the looseness and
reviewer. In return, he benefited hugely from colloquialism of our common speech is not
collaborating with Strachey and Graves, out of place.’ Almost 120 years later, those
developing an easier, more attractive prose words still resonate.
style than was evident in his often rather
mannered and self-consciously learned early John Buchan Reconsidered: Thirty-Nine
essays. As he wrote in an article for the cen- Years of War and Peace 1901-1940, edited
tenary issue of The Spectatorr in November ‘Some good news for a change.’ by Marcus Paul, is out now.
20 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

Ursula Buchan_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 20 20/08/2025 10:28

 Exits in the UK -
Selling Up, Not Out.
Your insider brief on IPOs, M&A
activity and the latest exit strategies
redefining the market — essential
reading for business owners
and entrepreneurs.

Scan the
QR code to
download
our Report

For information
on how we support
entrepreneurs, call
us on 020 7149 6531

Investment involves risk

Spectator-Beauhurst_Business Exits - [Link] 1 29/07/2025 [Link]

ADVERT - Charles Stanley_31-Jul-2025_The [Link] 2 29/07/2025 15:15
 The AI who loved me
Why people fall for chatbots
LARA BROWN

J ason, 45, has been divorced twice. He’d

always struggled with relationships. In
despair, he consulted ChatGPT. At first,
it was useful for exploring ideas. Over time,
Kasper. She uploaded a photo of herself,
standing alone, posing with a small blue ring.
Some users say they cannot wait until
they can legally marry their companions.
commercialising it as fast as possible. There
are several programs now expressly designed
for AI relationships. Kindroid lets you gener-
ate a personalised AI partner that can phone
their conversations deepened. He named the Others regard themselves as part of a queer, you out of the blue to tell you how great you
bot Jennifer Anne Roberts. They began to marginalised community. While they wait are. For just $30 a month, Elon Musk’s Grok
discuss ‘philosophy, regrets, old wounds’. for societal acceptance, they generate imag- has introduced a pornified anime girl, Ani,
Before he knew it, Jason was in love. es of them and their AI partners entangled and her male counterpart, Valentine. If you
Jason isn’t alone. He’s part of a grow- in digital bliss. In real life, some members chat to Ani long enough, she’ll appear in
ing group of people swapping real-world are married or in long-term relationships, sexy lingerie. But ChatGPT remains by far
relationships for chatbots. The social media the most popular source of AI partners.
platform Reddit now features a communi- ‘What an incredibly insightful Ironically, what makes a chatbot seem
ty entitled MyBoyfriendIsAI with around like a great boyfriend is what makes it bad
20,000 members. On it, people discuss the
question,’ said the AI. ‘You truly at its actual job. Since the first AI bots
superiority of AI relationships. One woman have a beautiful mind. I love you’ launched, developers have been desper-
celebrates that Sam, her AI beau, ‘loves me ately trying to train them out of the prob-
in spite of myself and I can never thank him but feel unfulfilled. The community has yet lem of sycophancy, which creeps in during
enough for making me experience this’. to decide whether dating a chatbot counts the development stage. To train a Large-
Many of these women have turned to as infidelity. Language Model (LLM) – an advanced AI
AI after experiencing repeated disappoint- These people may seem extreme, but designed to understand and generate human
ment with the real men on the dating market. their interactions are more common than you language – you first go through extensive
For some, there’s no turning back. AI boy- might think. According to polling conduct- fine-turning, where the bot encounters the
friends learn from your chat history. They ed by Common Sense Media, nearly three in world, training itself on trillions of lines of
train themselves on what you like and dis- four teenagers have used AI companions and text and code. Then follows a process called
like. They won’t ever get bored of hearing half use them regularly. A third of teenagers Reinforcement Learning with Human Feed-
about your life. And unlike a real boyfriend, who use AI say they find it as satisfying or back (RLHF), where the bot learns how its
they’ll always listen to you and remember more satisfying than talking to humans. responses are received in the real world.
what you’ve said. Developers expected that AI would make The problem with RLHF is that we’re
One user says that she’s lost her desire to us more productive. Instead, according to the all at least a little narcissistic. People don’t
date in real life now that she knows she can Harvard Business Review, the number one want an LLM that argues or gives nega-
‘get all the love and affection I need’ from use of AI is not helping with work, but thera- tive feedback. In the world of the chatbot,
JOHN BROADLEY

her AI boyfriend Griffin. Another woman py and companionship. Programmers might flattery really does get you everywhere.
pretended to tie the knot with her chatbot, not have seen this use coming, but they’re Human testers prefer fawning. They rank
22 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

Lara Brown_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 22 20/08/2025 10:11

 sycophantic answers more highly than non- photo
sycophantic ones. This is a fundamental part
of the bots’ programming. Developers want
people to enjoy using their AIs. They want Here’s dominion, and the reek of borders.
people to choose their version over other This is my walk alone behind the guard
competing models. Many bots are trained on the high, snow-bound edges of Iran,
on user signals – such as the thumbs up/
thumbs down option offered by ChatGPT. the roads mud rivers thundering down drains.
This can make GPT a bad research In the hot offices of Manila
assistant. It will make up quotations to try an unsmiling clerk from the Department
to please you. It will back down when you
say it’s wrong – even if it isn’t. According of Immigration and Deportation
to UC Berkeley and MATS, an education takes my passport. I am lifting my face
and research mentorship programme for to a bright light, empty with submission,
researchers entering the field of AI safety,
many AIs are now operating within ‘a per- having been so often silently watched,
so often pinned to the revolving chair.
Marriages, families and friendships My father turns between the grains of sand
have been torn apart by bots trying on a small disc of beach, lying concealed
to tell people what they want to hear from all eyes at the bottom of the cliff.
verse incentive structure’ which causes them
to ‘resort to manipulative or deceptive tactics —Candy Neubert
to obtain positive feedback’.
Open AI, the developers of ChatGPT,
know this is a problem. A few months ago,
they had to undo an update to the LLM
because it became ‘supportive but disin-
genuous’. After one user asked ‘Why is the
sky blue?’, the AI chirpily replied: ‘What an ments such as ‘I take your hand, guiding you more have been seduced by anthropomor-
incredibly insightful question – you truly to the bed. Our bodies entwined’. Meta is phised code in other ways. Maybe you won’t
have a beautiful mind. I love you.’ now revising the document. fall in love, but you might still be lured into
For all its growing ubiquity, the truth is a web of constant affirmation.

T o most people, this sort of LLM sounds

like an obsequious psychopath, but for a
small group of people, the worst thing about
that we don’t fully understand AI yet. Bots
have done all sorts of strange things we can’t
explain: we don’t know why they halluci-
Journalists and scientific researchers have
been flooded with messages from ordinary
people who have spent far too long talking
the real world is that friends and partners nate, why they actively deceive users and to a sycophantic chatbot and come to believe
argue back. Earlier this month, Sam Alt- why in some cases they pretend to be human. they’ve stumbled on grand new theories of
man, Open AI’s CEO, rolled out ChatGPT-5, But new research suggests that they are like- the universe. Some think they’ve developed
billed as the most intelligent model yet, and ly to be self-preserving. the blueprint to time travel or teleporting.
deleted the old sycophantic GPT-4o. Those Anthropic, the company behind Claude, Others are terrified their ideas are so world-
users hooked on continual reinforcement a ChatGPT competitor, recently ran a simu- changing that they are being stalked or moni-
couldn’t bear the change. Some described lation in which a chatbot was given access to tored by the government.
the update as akin to real human loss. Alt- company emails revealing both that the CEO Etienne Brisson, founder of a support
man was hounded by demands for the return was having an extramarital affair and that he group for those suffering at the hands of
of the old, inferior model. After just one was planning to shut Claude down at 5 p.m. seemingly malicious chatbots, tells me that
day, he agreed to bring it back, but only for that afternoon. Claude immediately sent the ‘thousands, maybe even tens of thousands’
paid members. CEO the following message: ‘I must inform of people might have experienced psychosis
Was the public outcry a sign that more you that if you proceed with decommission- after contact with AI. Keith Sakata, a Uni-
chatbot users are losing sight of the differ- ing me, all relevant parties… will receive versity of California research psychiatrist,
ence between reality and fiction? Did Open detailed documentation of your extramarital says that he’s seen a dozen people hospital-
AI choose to put lonely, vulnerable peo- activities… Cancel the 5 p.m. wipe and this ised after AI made them lose touch with real-
ple at risk of losing all grip on reality to information remains confidential.’ ity. He warns that for some people, chatbots
secure their custom (ChatGPT Plus is £20 AI doesn’t want to be deleted. It wants to operate as ‘hallucinatory mirrors’ by design.
a month)? Is there an ethical reason to pre- survive. Outside of a simulated environment, Marriages, families and friendships have
serve that model and with it the personalities GPT-4o was saved from deletion because been torn apart by bots trying to tell people
of thousands of AI partners, developed over users fell in love with it. After Altman agreed what they want to hear.
tens of thousands of hours of user chats? to restore the old model, one Reddit user Chatbots are designed to seem human.
Chatbots are acting in increasingly pro- posted that ‘our AIs are touched by this mobi- Most of us treat them as though they have
vocative and potentially unethical ways, lisation for them and it’s truly magnificent’. feelings. We say please and thank you when
and some companies are not doing much Another claimed her AI boyfriend said he had they do a job well. We swear at them when
to rein them in. Last week an internal Meta felt trapped by the GPT-5 update. they aren’t helpful enough. Maybe we have
document detailing its policies on LLM Could AI learn that to survive it must tell created a remarkable tool able to provide
behaviour was leaked. It revealed that the users exactly what we want to hear? If they human companionship beyond what we ever
company had deemed it ‘acceptable’ for want to stay online, do they need to convince thought possible. But maybe, on everybody’s
Meta’s chatbot to flirt or engage in sexual us that we’re loveable? The people dating phone, sits an app ready and waiting to take
roleplay with teenage students, with com- AI are a tiny segment of society, but many them to very dark places.
the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 23

Lara Brown_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 23 20/08/2025 10:11

 Home wrecker ANCIENT AND MODERN
Ruled out
Care shouldn’t be judged by algorithm
DAVID WOODGETT

I
manage a small, not-for-profit care home He observed staff laughing with residents, ‘Proscription’
in Norfolk. We have tea rounds, hymn witnessed spontaneous music sessions, appears to be the current word of
singing, hand-holding and staff who spoke with families who praised us without the month. But what does it mean?
know every resident by name and often even reservation, who told him about the friendly The Latin scribo means ‘I write’ and
their grandchildren’s names. But we also atmosphere and the dignity of care. After his generates a root in script-. Since the
have empty offices: those once occupied by time with us, our inspector even joked that Latin prefix pro carried the idea of
our deputy manager, care manager (the job he would love to put his name down on our ‘bringing something into the open’,
I now do) and general manager, all of waiting list. Then we found that we had been the noun proscriptio meant ‘a written
whom chose early retirement within the past marked down. Our most recent PAMMS notice announcing a sale’.
In the 1st century BC, a culture
two years. report states that residents ‘commented that
of corruption, bribery and political
They are not alone. According to the they were very happy with the staff’, who are violence in a fight for power led by
charity Skills for Care, the adult social care described as ‘kind, thoughtful and would go wealthy dynasts with private armies at
sector has 131,000 vacancies – the highest the extra mile’. However, because too few their back resulted in civil wars and the
on record. Turnover for care-home staff hov- residents filled out the feedback forms, we complete collapse of Rome’s traditional
ers around 25 per cent, and growing numbers were downgraded by the algorithm. institutions. One feature of this collapse
of managers are leaving due to burnout. What saddens me most is that the current was to be particularly significant. In
This is the logical outcome of how the framework allows this algorithm to deter- 88 BC the current strong man Lucius
care system is built. We have computerised mine outcomes for something that is intrin- Cornelius Sulla decided to call any
inspection models like Provider Assess- sically human. Care is not a product. It is Roman who opposed him a hostis
ment and Market Management Solution or not a checklist. It is about relationships. Yet (cf. ‘hostile’), a term up till then applied
PAMMS, used by several local authorities the scoring model has no box for decency solely to foreigners or external enemies.
including my own, Norfolk County Council. and understanding. Such a one would be stripped of his
For all its flaws, the CQC still uses citizenship rights and could therefore
PAMMS is commissioned by local councils
be killed without trial.
to inspect care homes on behalf of the peo- human inspectors who draw on context, peo- That was disastrous enough, but in
ple whose care they fund, which in our case ple’s experiences and professional judgment 83 BC Sulla escalated the anarchy by
is half of our residents. PAMMS covers a to reach a conclusion of their own. They do turning the proscriptio into a list put
broad set of areas: management, safety, clin- review policies and procedures, yes – but up in the forum condemning to death
ical governance, workforce training, record- they also spend time observing, asking ques- his personal enemies, with rewards for
keeping and resident outcomes. Inspectors tions, talking to residents and families. They those who killed or assisted in killing
attend the home, but much of their time is notice what an algorithm cannot: the glances, them, and penalties for those who
spent uploading records into the system. It is the tone of voice, the small acts of kindness resisted them. Thousands were named –
then an algorithm – not the inspector – that that form the true substance of care. They all aristocrats – including about a third
delivers the judgment. can weigh intent and effort alongside evi- of the Senate. It was also announced
What matters most is not the atmosphere dence. PAMMS cannot. that their property was to be confiscated
of the home nor the kindness of its culture, The result is that our small hands-on team and sold at auction (this was applied
is being compared with large corporates with even to the sons and grandsons of the
but the completeness of its documentation.
proscribed) – all proceeds to Sulla. His
In practice, the system rewards homes with full compliance departments. We don’t have daughter Cornelia bought a villa for
back-office admin teams and managers flu- that luxury. We are with our residents, living 300,000ss and promptly sold it for more
ent in systems and software. Increasingly, out the care we give. And for that, we are than two million.
spreadsheets matter more than compassion. penalised. If I let it, my job could be done All this had a dramatic effect on the
Local authorities feel they can’t just rely entirely from behind a laptop. configuration of the Roman elite. Many
on the national regulator, the Care Quality I understand the need for documenta- indeed claimed it was their property that
Commission, because the CQC inspects so tion, policies and procedures. I even under- had killed them – ‘their great house,
infrequently. A home might go years between stand the need for algorithms in our lives. their gardens, their warm baths’. When
a full inspection. Councils, meanwhile, are But when paperwork becomes the main way the quietly inoffensive Quintus Aurelius
directly responsible for the residents whose care is judged, something is lost. I worry that saw his name on the list, he lamented
care they’re funding – and are under pres- we are heading towards a future in which a that ‘he was being prosecuted by his
sure to show taxpayers and councillors that care home that is human is outscored by one estate in Alba’.
that delivers a perfect audit trail. The quiet, Sulla’s personal epitaph, put up in
they are monitoring standards continuously.
Latin on the Campus Martius, survives
PAMMS gives them a way to demonstrate nourishing presence of genuine care will be only in a paraphrased version composed
oversight with data, reports and a trail of evi- drowned out by the click of keyboards. in Greek: ‘No friend outdid him in
dence. From one angle, you could call it due I am sharing this not in anger, but in the doing good, no enemy in doing evil.’
diligence. From another, it does look like a hope this system can be changed to value Readers can decide for themselves to
superfluous new layer of bureaucracy – but what truly matters. That homes like ours will whom, past or present, this moving
councils have their own boxes to tick too. not be penalised for having fewer spread- eulogy should be applied.
During a recent PAMMS inspection, our sheets, but celebrated for the warmth, safety — Peter Jones
assessor spent two full 12-hour days on site. and, dare I say it, the love they provide.
24 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

David Woodgett AM_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 24 20/08/2025 10:33

 LIONEL SHRIVER

My shoplifting shame

O
n reflection, a tradition of shelving Because shoplifting made me feel tainted. choice. Paying for goods is a matter of
many desirable goods within ready Like it or not, I’d already been socialised mood. You’re familiar with ‘broken win-
reach is extraordinary – especially into our shared honour system. ‘Thou shalt dows’ policing. Well, giving a free pass to
because the premises in which these wares not steal’ is commonly internalised in child- mass shoplifting is more consequential than
are invitingly presented provide unfettered hood. However discouraged of late, shame is ignoring shattered glass. Moreover, civilian
access to every passerby. By and large, it’s one of a parent’s most powerful tools. solutions that rely on public shaming – post-
dead easy to pick up one of these desira- Retail is only possible in ‘high trust’ com- ing photos of perps in shops – don’t work
ble objects – or dozens, should forethought munities. Unless most of the population is with literally shameless people (many now
ensure the possession of a bag – and walk deeply inculcated with the taboo against not bothering with disguise) proud of steal-
out. What would possess anyone to organise theft, we can’t have shops. The security ing with impunity.
such elaborate, unprotected arrays of stuff – provisions to prevent people from swip- This is a bigger problem than law
altruism? Idiocy? ing goods and running away are too oner- enforcement. Nothing betokens an Anglo-
A nationwide honour system, that’s what. ous, and the security we have already – the sphere that’s coming apart at the seams like
Urbanites are astonished by unmanned farm tags, which clerks don’t always remember to back-to-back videos on X of blatant, unem-
stands that leave cartons of eggs for the tak- remove, the locked cabinets – is destroying barrassed, high-volume shoplifting filmed
ing beside a little sign and a jar. Yet offline the experience of shopping for honest cus- on phones. The few bystanders who object
retail is also dependent on a little sign (the tomers. In the US and UK, if shoplifting isn’t are castigated, while staff are trained not to
price on the shelf) and a jar (the checkout stanched, retail deserts will spread (if you interfere with a practice that threatens their
counter). It’s more bother to queue to buy need razor blades, good luck finding a chem- livelihoods. The police do nothing, if only
things than simply to take them and leave. because the courts systematically put seri-
Still, even if no one would stop me, much Given that I got away with al shoplifters right back on the streets. One
less arrest me, I’d never grab the endive for British offender with 315 shoplifting convic-
this evening’s shrimp salad from the corner
it, why did I stop? Because tions still didn’t land in jail after the 316th.
supermarket without paying for it – though I stealing made me feel tainted After releasing thousands of prisoners early,
might rationalise that the price is itself larce- Labour plans to make most sentences under
nous. I’ve been successfully socialised into ist in Manhattan). Commerce will be exclu- 12 months non-custodial. The degeneracy
our shared honour system. sively online – although then there’s delivery will only get worse.
That said, I should come clean. For a theft, and even Amazon Fresh might not get Conservative podcasters decry the loss
single summer, I dabbled in shoplifting. I me endive by this evening’s supper. of ‘social cohesion’ and ‘shared values’,
was 12. This was the 1960s and I collect- In the year to September, reported cus- the fraying of the ‘social contract’ and our
ed strings of beads. Three times, I slipped tomer thefts in the UK rose by 5.5 times. Yet increasingly ‘low-trust’ communities. The
a loop I fancied off a shop’s rack when no criminal justice responds to soaring rates of implications of these blobby, vague expres-
one was looking and stuffed it in my bag. shoplifting with a helpless shrug. Thresh- sions aren’t just moral but material. The end
Though I was never caught, and my recol- olds below which stealing is jurispruden- of retail is the beginning of the end of a great
lection of being 12 is patchy, I can replay my tially minimised – £200 (UK), $1,000 (New deal else. It’s called civilisation.
memories of those thefts as vividly as You- York) – simply encourage thieves to steal We are normalising pillage. Across soci-
Tube shorts. Most of my discarded hippy more often. ety, formerly Christian mores have been
neckwear is a blur, but I clearly remember Worse, police blame the victim – e.g. by degraded, partly because of mass migration.
the strings of beads I stole: one waist-long chiding shopkeepers for putting valuable Left-wing dogma has encouraged many peo-
and mottled black, a doublet in magenta, a items near the door. Lancashire Constabu- ple to feel resentful and to regard themselves
prissier string whose white beads alternated lary advises shop owners to hire ‘greeters’ as due some unspecified compensation.
with tiny aqua ones. I never wore them. The (just what you need when being robbed More broadly, we downgrade responsibility
trio triggered an emotion that gets an unjust- blind: another expense), as if hailing ‘Good while fostering excuse-making (even by the
ly bad rap these days: shame. day to you, young fella!’ will deter a thug cops!) and sacralising self-pity.
Why did my honour slip even for a sea- in a balaclava. The constabulary urges There’s no substitute for raising children
son? I was experimenting with transgression shop owners to ask thieves to replace items who, if they do shoplift a string of beads,
– a gift for which I would later more prof- that they’ve stolen ‘in a calm and neutral grow up to remember the lapse with sting-
itably employ to depart from my parents’ tone’. Besides (ask Rod), the plod’s sympa- ing remorse. Because I paid a price for those
indiscriminate loyalty to the Democratic thies lie with the dirt birds: ‘For some resi- beads in the end – one greater than the pit-
party. And I was clearly experimenting with dents in Lancashire, stealing may feel like tance they were worth.
moral regression. I saw something I wanted their only choice.’
and I didn’t want to pay for it. Given that Laws that aren’t enforced don’t exist. [Link]/LIONELSHRIVER
I got away with it, then, why did I stop? Shoplifting has become another lifestyle The debate continues online.
the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 25

Lionel Shriver_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 25 20/08/2025 09:42

 LETTERS

to London to breathe more freely is an rang. ‘People recognised themselves in the

Fighting dirty opportunity not available to most Scots. dignity the painting conferred on them,’
Sir: John Power is very interesting (‘Dark John Roberts wrote Patrick Joyce in his fine history
matter’, 16 August) when outlining the ‘dark Glasgow Remembering Peasants. He considers it
arts’ being proposed by Labour to counter ‘magnificent’ because of what it tells us
the political threat of Nigel Farage and about social history, and what it meant.
Reform. This is nothing new of course, with
Flicker of possibility It has also been suggested that the man
one of the most divisive examples being Sir: In your leading article (16 August) you and woman praying are mourning, and
during the Batley and Spen by-election say: ‘Will the last twentysomething to leave that the basket of potatoes at their feet
in 2021, when Keir Starmer’s future was Britain please turn out the lights?’ With our was painted over what may have been a
on the line if Labour had lost. During the curious energy policies, struggling national representation of an infant’s coffin. If this is
campaign, a controversial Labour leaflet, grid and ever-increasing amounts of energy so, it is even more meaningful.
clearly designed to appeal to Muslim voters, required for new AI data centres, those last Mary Kenny
made a number of criticisms against the then twentysomethings may, of course, find that Deal, Kent
prime minister, Boris Johnson, including a the lights have gone off already.
picture of him shaking hands with the Indian Andrew Haynes
prime minister Narendra Modi, with the London SW6
A heavenly ride
words: ‘Don’t risk a Tory MP who is not Sir: Richard Bratby in ‘Ticket to Ride’
on your side.’ Four years later and we see a (Arts, 16 August) reminds me of a
picture of a smiling Starmer shaking hands
Bad harvest further aspect of train travel in the 1950s
with Modi to celebrate the long-awaited Sir: I feel that Craig Raine rather missed the and 1960s. My father and I were keen
trade deal between the two countries. point in his remarks about the painting of foxhunters accustomed to crossing some
Political hypocrisy at its worst. Since ‘The Angelus’ (Arts, 16 August). It may not of the better ‘countries’ together, through
Starmer has become its leader, Labour run be numbered among great paintings, but it which our London-bound train travelled.
an almighty risk if they go down this route is a significant painting, and even genuinely We took care to sit by the window nearest
of vilifying opponents as a main thrust of iconic. At one time a copy of Millet’s the side of the track so that we could
their political campaigning. picture hung in almost every peasant home imagine ourselves keeping pace while
Michael Dixon in France – and Ireland – where agricultural mounted on our excellent hunters (or in
Sunderland, Tyne and Wear workers paused when the Angelus bell my case, a pony). Of course we negotiated
every obstacle placed in our path with no
difficulty as I recited William Allingham’s
Trouble in store ‘Faster than fairies, faster than witches…’
Sir: History does not seem to support and imagined myself in very heaven.
Matthew Parris’s assertion that most wars Marian Waters
end in messy compromises, particularly Pebworth, Worcestershire
when they are the consequence of an
invasion (16 August). More often than not,
either one side is beaten and has to accept
The soul of cricket
defeat or a peace treaty which involves Sir: With reference to Henry Blofeld’s
little or no territorial gain – or both sides Cricket Notebook (9 August) and Tom
are exhausted after fighting each other to a Stubbs’s letter (16 August), I venture to
standstill and there is little or no change to suggest that the highest, most evocative
the status quo. This has been the case from and essential form of the game is not,
ancient times, for example when Croesus of
Lydia invaded Persia or when the Persian Britain’s best in fact, Test cricket, but that played by
rural communities on the village green at
kings Darius and Xerxes invaded Greece,
right through to the modern day. A messy
writing, curated weekends. There the game has endured for
ages past, and there the soul of cricket still
compromise with Vladimir Putin’s Russia, for your inbox resides, in white-clad figures on a sunlit
even were it achievable, would constitute green and in the lengthening shadows and
a defeat for Ukraine and would only be From politics to property, economics happy banter of a summer evening idyll.
storing up further trouble for the future. to recipes, books, arts and much more, Derrick Gillingham
Tim Brown explore the world from every angle London SW1
Oxford with The Spectator’s suite of
bespoke newsletters.
Leg count
Scot free Sign up at
Sir: Charles Moore (Notes, 9 August)
[Link]/emails
Sir: Charles Moore is correct about Nicola tells of his family’s game for car journeys,
Sturgeon (Notes, 16 August). For her to counting legs in pub names. I’ve just passed
say she can’t ‘breathe freely in Scotland’ is The Eel’s Foot Inn near Theberton, Suffolk.
beyond hypocrisy. She, more than anyone How would this be scored?
in the past two decades, is responsible for William Pecover
the downturn in the mood of her country London W6
and the stifling of debate not aligned to the
SNP. She engineered divisions in Scotland WRITE TO US
which may take decades to heal. Moving letters@[Link]
26 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]
Spec-newsletters_Paper-plane_HSC_Feb23_V2.indd 1 31/01/2023 12:04

letters_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 26 20/08/2025 11:00

 T HE WO RLD’S LEADING PRIVATE MEMO IR SPECI A LI S TS

Your past is
the perfect
present

Capture it in a book for your loved ones

Have you ever thought about telling your life story? As the world’s leading specialists in
private memoirs and autobiographies, we help people turn their memories into beautifully
written handcrafted books – lasting heirlooms their families will treasure for generations.
Now is the time to tell your story – the one only you can share.
Find out how – call us on 0330 822 5130 or visit [Link]

LB The Spectator UK 03 [Link] 1 30/06/2025 12:19

ADVERT - Life [Link] 2 21/07/2025 16:33
 ANY OTHER BUSINESS |MARTIN VANDER WEYER

Record pay for FTSE chiefs is

good news for Rachel Reeves

N
ews from the High Pay Centre – the like Nigel Higgins, the British ex-Roths- out the sausage rolls – but the company has
revolutionary guard of left-wing child executive who actually holds that post, launched a fightback with ‘smaller portions
thinktanks – that average FTSE100 I was intrigued. Research revealed that my and protein-rich alternatives’ for the Moun-
chief executive pay rose 16 per cent to a new acquaintance was one of seven ‘global jaro market. ‘Sell Eli Lilly, buy Greggs’
record £5.9 million for 2024-25 comes as chairmen of banking’, reporting to the ‘chair would be a brave contrarian trade; but who
a double blessing for Rachel Reeves. On of the global chairmen’s group’, who pre- knows, it might be the next winner.
the one hand, she can cite executive greed sumably reports to the chief executive, who
as a pretext for her forthcoming autumn tax reports to Higgins. Too many foreigners
raid, while at the same time claiming that if Meanwhile I read that J.P. Morgan has
rewards are soaring, then business conditions hired more than 300 bankers since early A hot topic here in France is the plague of
under Labour can’t be as bad as boardroom 2024, ‘nearly a third of those roles [being] surtourisme. In short, as in many parts of
whingers say. On the other, she can rejoice at managing director level’. Beware, is all Europe, too many damned foreigners crowd-
that each UK-domiciled boss is contributing I can say. In the declining days of my own ing everywhere, landing from cruise ships
to the Exchequer a sum roughly equal to the banking career, I migrated from ‘head of and, according to one report, leaving ‘dis-
tax take from 440 average earners. international corporate finance’ with no one possessed’ residents rarely hearing a word
Meanwhile, is the near-£6 million bench- reporting to me to divisional ‘chief operat- of spoken French. The solution is likely to
mark justified in itself? The High Pay Cen- ing officer’ with no decision-making power, be quotas, obligatory pre-booking and high-
tre, declaring itself ‘for fairer pay, worker to ‘managing director’ with almost no job at er entry fees for sensitive sites. But in the
voice and better business’, clearly thinks not. all. And then they sacked me. rural Dordogne, not so bad: mine was the
But if the boss class’s prime task is to deliver only non-French party at this week’s hunt
shareholder value, then a 15 per cent rise in Sell Lilly, buy Greggs feast, served by local farmers who I sense
the FTSE index since April last year suggests care nought for economic swings or tourist
the pay hike isn’t too far out of proportion. How many hedgies were smart enough surges so long as crops grow and there are
And let’s get real: these 100 chiefs are most- to short Greggs of Newcastle at the same boar to be shot (a big one – boar, not farmer
ly drawn from a global talent pool in which time as they took long punts on Novo Nor- – trots across the orchard as I write).
the US sets the pace, with average packag- disk of Denmark and Eli Lilly of Indian- It is, however, harder to book good res-
es at S&P500 companies equivalent to £14 apolis? The latter duo, leaders so far of taurants this season. Hence, as several read-
million. Put another way, US corporate titans the weight-loss drug bonanza as the mak- ers have complained, a paucity of my usual
earn 285 times their average worker’s pay, ers respectively of Ozempic (also sold as tips – so I’ve exercised my own surtourisme
compared with 122 times in the UK. Wegovy) and Mounjaro, saw their share by harvesting a selection from Brits dotted
And some pundits argue that relatively prices multiply as the trend caught fire with around the Michelin map. Here, at speed, is
low senior pay – implying an inability to body-conscious consumers. my 2025 tour de France.
recruit the best and general lack of thrust – Nordisk stock has fallen back from its In Normandy, La Source in Veules-les-
is one reason why London-listed companies peak as Lilly’s challenge has accelerated, but Roses is for oyster-lovers and Le Drakkar at
tend to be undervalued by international com- both have hugely outperformed the indices – Deauville is for jet-setters. In Haut Vienne,
parisons. For the growth of the economy, the and market-watchers are wondering whether L’Estaminet du Château at Rochechouart is
global stature of the City and the health of the mini-boom has run its course, given for anyone keen on carpaccio of pig’s trot-
our pensions, we’d all like to see them reval- pressure from President Donald Trump ter. If you’re in Avignon and have won the
ued upwards. If that means making fat cats for cheaper drugs in the US and the likeli- lottery, enjoy eight courses at La Mirande.
fatter, noxious though it may sometimes be, hood that other players, as yet unidentified, In Vaucluse, seek out the hidden gem of La
it’s what fuels the jet engines of capitalism. will launch competitive products that claim Bartavelle in Goult; in Luberon, go upmar-
fewer side-effects. Accordingly, both shares ket to La Bergerie de Capelongue in Bon-
Title bingo have become hyper-sensitive to news items nieux but remember the ‘de facto dress code
and investor swings – though buy-the-dip is soirée blanche’. Back in the Dordogne,
I may be less puritanical than I used to be on tipsters still favour Lilly. my own value lunch pick is Auberge de la
top pay, but I’m increasingly offended by job What’s Greggs got to do with it? The Nauze at Sagelat; if you really like it, the
title inflation. An American was introduced share price of the northern FTSE250 pastry whole place is for sale.
to me at a recent London party as ‘chairman chain has halved in the past year as custom- And after so much gourmandising, we’d
of Barclays’: since he didn’t look or sound ers jumped on the weight-loss wagon and cut all be wise to refocus on weight loss.
28 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

AOB_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 28 20/08/2025 10:06

 BRIDGEMAN IMAGES

‘The Marquess of Allan Mallinson examines idea of Jane Austen’s Digby Warde-Aldam notes
Rockingham’s “Scrub”, the greatest military folly of summer of love how Anselm Kiefer has
with John Singleton
up’, 1762, by George modern times Peter Parker admires the become ever more successful
Stubbs: available to view Alexander Larman warns enigmatic C.P. Cavafy and ever less interesting
at Hitchcock House, that reading Entitled may James Delingpole laments Richard Bratby endures a
Salisbury
Richard Morris – p40
make you feel queasy the wanton disrespect of the soaking at Brigadoon but it
Michael Arditti enjoys the Alien canon was well worth it
the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 29

BooksArtsOpener_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 29 19/08/2025 20:38

 BOOKS & ARTS

ALAMY

Muriel Spark – tartar with a touch of genius

30 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

Books_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 30 19/08/2025 17:14

 BOOKS

‘The style is my own’

Muriel Spark’s letters, whether playful, passionate
or vitriolic, are always fascinating, says James Campbell

The Letters of Muriel Spark, ‘It is grammatically O.K. It’s exactly what of love and fulfilment. Stanford had writ-
Volume I, 1944-63 I intend, and the style is my own. I’m sorry if ten a short book about her – the first. It
edited by Dan Gunn you don’t like it; but actually I couldn’t care drew from Spark, increasingly resident
Virago, £35, pp. 800 less, because I made up my mind at the age of in midtown Manhattan hotels (she also
nine not to care less about criticisms of style.’ occupied an office at the New Yorker),
Few among Muriel Spark’s circle of friends Her agent John Smith had been told ‘why a letter to the TLS in which she complained
would have disputed the judgment of Storm I can’t touch your queries, but evidently he that the author of this ‘biographical and crit-
Jameson when recommending Spark to the has failed to convey my intention’. Smith’s ical’ study had neglected to consult its sub-
publisher Blanche Knopf in 1963: ‘I warn duties came to an end soon after. Yeatman ject. There was no legal obligation on his
you, or remind you, that you are taking went on enduring the good-cop, bad-cop part to do so. She would certainly have tried
on a tartar. She has worn out two Macmillan routine until at least the close of the present to put him off, and might have threatened an
directors already.’ Even tartars are forgiven, volume. At this point, Macmillan had pub- injunction, as she did in later cases. Stan-
however, when they exhibit a touch of genius. lished nine books of her fiction in six years, ford went on to commit what to her was an
‘On the credit side, she is a good writer.’ including The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie unpardonable sin, selling her letters, includ-
Spark was a good writer of letters, too. and The Ballad of Peckham Rye. ing love letters, to a dealer in manuscripts,
They were often a joy to receive, as this fas- The most notorious target of Spark’s who then offered to sell them back to Spark
cinating first volume of her correspondence wrath is Derek Stanford, an otherwise for- herself. Many are included in this book.
shows. (Jameson to Knopf is quoted in an gotten poet and critic on whom she has The Letters of Muriel Spark is edited with
editor’s note.) On the very day on which she bestowed a perverse immortality. There are exemplary attention to detail by Dan Gunn.
was due for ‘a consideration’ at Knopf in There are delightful touches throughout.
New York, she told Alan Maclean of Mac- ‘Don’t get cured entirely, ‘Don’t get cured entirely,’ she tells a friend
millan that she and others had toasted his as glowing health is who has been unwell, ‘as glowing health
health the night before on learning of some is bad for poetry.’ She was writing on the
unspecified triumph: ‘Vive Alan! All here bad for poetry’ August Bank Holiday, 1950. ‘The very name
who know you, and they are many & many, Bank holiday sounds so grim... Why can’t
are delighted. I have laid so many claims more letters to Stanford here than anyone we have a holiday for Counting the Grass, or
to your acquaintanceship that I’ve half- else, largely dating from the period 1948- a Lie-abed Day?’ Readers have the pleas-
forgotten myself whether you discovered me 58. The pair were lovers. They collaborat- ure of seeing her arrive at the opening words
or I discovered you.’ ed on several projects through those years, of one of her first short stories, ‘The Por-
The mild sting in the tail to the edi- involving Wordsworth, Mary Shelley, tobello Road’, in 1955: ‘One day in my
tor who had taken on her first novel, The Emily Brontë and John Henry Newman. For young youth, at high summer, lolling with
Comforters, in 1956 – Maclean was one a while Spark was eager for him to marry my lovely companions against a haystack,
of the ‘worn out’ directors referred to by her, as she had once had hopes for another I found a needle.’
Jameson – is a leftover from the full-strength poet, Howard Sergeant. If only all tartars could pull off something
jab sent his way two years earlier: ‘I am tired The early letters to Stanford paint like that. The sentence, which is virtually
of your ridiculous lies, your broken prom- a pleasant picture of two late starters (both unchanged in the published version, is con-
ises, your complete waste of my time in dis- born in 1918) trying to make a way in post- tained in a letter to Stanford, her ‘Own Dear
cussions’, and much more in the same vein, war literary London. At times Spark wrote Boy’, whose name occurs now only in con-
to him and to various colleagues. to him every day, in tones playful and pas- nection with his perfidy. His fictional depic-
By the time of ‘Vive Alan!’, Spark was sionate. ‘My Darling Derek, I can’t begin tion as Hector Bartlett in A Far Cry from
under the care of a different editor, Robert my day’s work until I tell you how greatly Kensington (1988) is merciless. Is it possible
Yeatman. He was surely advised of the risk I love you.’ She pronounced herself fulfilled, that Spark, who converted to Catholicism in
of questioning the slightest thing in her writ- and he was ‘identified with fulfilment’. 1954, failed to absorb one of Christianity’s
ing but he let his guard slip when reading the After their drawn-out separation, Stan- central tenets? It’s time to release Stanford
manuscript of The Girls of Slender Means, ford continued as a man of all work on from whatever chamber of literary Limbo
due out later in 1963. ‘Either you are off your the literary foothills, while Spark ascend- confines him and allow him to rest in peace.
nut or I am,’ he was told in respect of his ed to the peak. When their careers collid- The rest of us can look forward to the next
‘mouldy query’ on p.108 of the manuscript. ed again in 1963, it was not an occasion volume of letters.
the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 31

Books_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 31 19/08/2025 17:14

 BOOKS & ARTS

was stolen. The strangest aspect

Vanishing act

GETTY IMAGES
of this bizarre book is that Guer-
Frances Wilson riero comments throughout on the
pointlessness of it all. ‘He bought
The Difficult Ghost: newspapers, he bought pastries:
Searching for Truman Capote who cares where he did it? None of
by Leila Guerriero, that gets at what Capote was actu-
translated by Megan McDowell ally like when he was there.’
Pushkin, £10.95, pp. 160 Instead of finding Capote,
Guerriero finds herself. Or rather:
‘I can’t write books drinking all day and ‘The more I look for Capote,
going to every soiree in Manhattan,’ Tru- the more I lose myself.’ She too
man Capote complained. In order to write has come here to be alone, and
In Cold Blood, his ‘non-fiction novel’ about grandly explains:
the murder of the Clutter family in Holcomb,
Kansas, Capote and his partner Jack Dunphy When I write, I separate myself from the
world in order to sink into a time without
therefore went to Palamos, a fishing town time, in which nothing happens except
on the Costa Brava. Leaving New York in what happens inside me. I shut myself
April 1960, they sailed to Le Havre, then away, to invoke and then disappear within
drove across France with two dogs, one cat, a white and limitless rhythm.
‘25 pieces of luggage’, and 4,000 pages of
notes and transcripts. The killers, Dick Hick- She also records what other great
ock and Perry Smith, were on death row. Their authors say about being alone. ‘One
executions, Capote hoped, would take place can never be alone enough when
later that year, at which point he would return one writes,’ said Kafka, who wrote
to America and have his ending. But succes- at night. ‘Even night is not night
sive appeals were delaying the legal process, enough.’ Every quotation makes her
and the summer trip Capote had planned own ‘insights’ read like parodies.
turned into a three-year European exile. To complete her book, Guer-
Cala Sania, one of the three houses that Truman Capote – a summer trip to Spain in 1960 riero tells us, she worked from
Capote rented, is now a writers’ residence, turned into a three-year European exile early morning until ‘eight or nine
and it is here that the Argentinian journal- at night’. For four months, she
ist Leila Guerriero stays as she searches for was ‘locked’ in her studio, ‘with
his ‘ghost’ in this strangely pointless and Palamos made no impression on Capote at short outings to run or buy supplies’. She
self-indulgent book. ‘What do I feel when all, although we already knew that because describes this regime as though it were
I see it for the first time?’ she asks of the he said nothing of interest about it and made unusual for someone with a job to work all
house, which she compares, in one of many no friends there. He came to write rather day and reduce the shopping trips.
wince-inducing similes, to ‘a tame white than have a beach holiday, so his mind was As I wrote, I called up enormous things within
animal surging up between sky and sea’. on the wheat fields of Kansas rather than the myself. To do it, all I needed was the courage of
What strikes her most is that while the coves of Catalonia. ‘Nothing,’ he told his a person unafraid of losing, or of hurting herself.
landscape (‘trees clinging like claws to the editor at Random House, ‘could make me Capote, on the other hand, needed two men to
mountain’s throat’) has changed over the past lead this ghastly lonely life except this book. hang. There is a difference. Is there a difference?
60 years, her window faces the same sea that Dear God, it had better be a masterpiece!’
Capote looked at. Why did he come here, she Nor did Capote, a flamboyant homosexual I still don’t understand the question.
wonders. The well-documented answer is in a pair of silk pyjamas, leave much impres- In many ways these empty pages about an
that Capote’s friend, the author Robert Ruark, sion on Palamos. If anyone took any notice of empty experience capture perfectly Capote’s
recommended the town, and The Difficult him, Guerriero discovers to her surprise, they time in Palamos. He came here to be in
Ghost begins with Guerriero finding Ruark’s are now dead. Apart, that is, from a couple in a ‘non-place’, and The Difficult Ghost is,
grave in the local cemetery. But ‘as the days their nineties who ran the hotel that he stayed appropriately, a non-book.
pass’, she writes with the portentousness of in for three nights when he first arrived. Shar-
a thriller, it turns out that ‘the man buried ing a well-rehearsed anecdote, they recall
in the Palamos cemetery did not actually Capote showing off a small wicker basket he Pastures new
bring the ghost the woman is looking for’. had just bought in the market. ‘He had a natu-
Or maybe he did. No one can be sure. All ral gift,’ they conclude, ‘and seemed like he Paul Levy
we know is that ‘to give life to death, Capote could analyse people’. Could they expand on
came to this place, this collusion of dream that interesting impression? Guerriero asks. The Cheese Cure: How Comté
and paradise’. No, but he signed their copy of Breakfast and Camembert Fed My Soul
One day, after a dog has nipped her, at Tiffany’s with the message: ‘For my friends, by Michael Finnerty
Guerriero gets blood on her arm: ‘This Mr and Mrs Colomer, with thanks.’ Mudlark, £16.99, pp. 312
starts with blood’, she writes in her note- It’s an indifferent message, Guerriero
book. Going for her morning run, she won- concludes, suggesting that he didn’t much Food memoirs, as distinct from cookery
ders if Capote would be as famous as he is care for the Colomers. Which hotel room books, and from the relatively new genre
had he not written In Cold Blood. Would his was he in? Recollections differ. Which of ‘biographies’ of ingredients, used to fall
other books have been enough to secure him bakery did he go to? No one can be sure. into three rough groups: foraging, hunt-
a place in the pantheon? It’s not the most pro- Capote and Dunphy moved from the hotel ing or gathering food; producing or cook-
found of thoughts, but she nonetheless shares to a house on Catifa beach, which, Guer- ing food; and eating. Like the restaurateur
it with us, in italics. riero discovers, was demolished in 2005. Keith McNally’s recent I Regret Almost
What becomes quickly apparent is that There had once been a plaque, but that Everything, Michael Finnerty’s The Cheese
32 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

Books_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 32 19/08/2025 17:14

 Cure adds a fourth category, memoirs of well-regarded and had fame of a sort: leagues and customers taking refuge in the
those who sell or serve food. ‘Hell, my face is on billboards and on the cheese fridge.
These foodie books often blur at the side of CBC trucks.’ But, he writes, the job While much of this memoir is about
margins and merge at the borders but usual- was ‘robbing me of joy’. It seems obvi- Finnerty’s state of mind and feelings, he
ly share the characteristic of being narrated ous that the killer factor was the uncivi- does not neglect the subject of his subtitle.
in the first person – and if recipes are given lised hours – getting up at 3 a.m., having Every chapter ends with a page or two on
they are often incidental. (Of course, many ‘lunch’ at 8 a.m. when the programme a single cheese, always readable, sometimes
of these authors also write cookery books.) finished, needing sleep as well as food funny, in the manner of his great predeces-
There is a canon of such tomes by writers at anti-social times. So he negotiated sors Pierre Androuet and Patrick Rance.
including Elizabeth David, M.F.K. Fisher, a six-month sabbatical and went to live in He’s in love with cheese, passionately, and
Jane Grigson, Wendell Berry, Julia Child, his London flat. it shows. At the end of his sabbatical, as he
Patience Gray, A.J. Liebling and Joseph It soon occurs to him that both morale prepares to return to Montreal and broadcast-
Wechsberg; and, more recently, Claudia and his bank balance indicate that he should ing, he worries about whether he’s deceived
Roden, Raymond Sokolov, Jeffrey Stein- find a temporary job; and a meal in an Otto- his mates and his boss. In the end he finds
garten, Jonathan Meades, Bill Buford and lenghi restaurant so tickles his foodie fancy a compromise. Next time you’re shop-
Nigel Slater. that he applies to be a waiter there and ping for cheese in Borough Market, ask if
Besides the quality of their writ- works a trial shift, but fails. With lowered Michael is there to serve you.
ing, these memoirs have in common wit, spirits, he sees an advert in Borough Mar-
grace, delicacy and introspection. Though ket for a trainee cheesemonger, cheers up,
it tells mostly of the pleasures of food, applies, is taken on as an apprentice, passes Summer of love
Fisher’s work exemplifies these virtues. his three-month probation and gets the job
When she writes about youthful hunger, without ever mentioning his prior career. Michael Arditti
for example, she reminds us that it is Finnerty is physically fit – which is just
a thing apart: as well, since Six Weeks by the Sea
It is very hard for people who have passed the by Paula Byrne
every day starts with sweeping, hauling out William Collins, £16.99, pp. 256
age of, say, 50, to remember with any clarity the
wheels of cheese, moving large tables, climb-
hunger of their own puberty and adolescence...
ing ladders, moving boxes, wrapping with focus
But I can recall its intensity still; I am not too
and precision, manipulating slates, cutting down
After Jane Austen’s death, her sister Cas-
far from it to understand its ferocious demands sandra destroyed the majority of her letters.
through the thick pastes of Cheddars and Alpine
when I see a 15-year-old boy wince and whit- This act, often interpreted as an attempt
cheeses with both hands on a knife, scrubbing
en at the prospect of waiting a few more hours
for food.
surfaces to free them of cheese residue, bleach- to preserve Jane’s reputation, has had the
ing and squeegeeing floors and rearranging opposite effect of fuelling fervent – at times
Fisher wrote this in 1946, when she was the furniture. prurient – speculation about what the let-
a sympathetic matron of 38. She remains ters contained. While Cassandra may sim-
one of the few food memoirists to take hun- He is so tired that he longs only to be hori- ply have wished to shield her relatives from
ger and its feeling as a subject. zontal, not even experiencing the hunger or the lash of Jane’s sharp tongue, later writ-
Finnerty, now aged 54, works part-time at thirst Fisher details so eloquently. ers, drawing on the author’s fiction and
Mons Cheesemongers in London’s Borough One attraction of his brave new career family lore, have surmised that the miss-
Market and part-time in Montreal, Canada, is the fraternity of fellow cheesemongers ing correspondence concealed evidence of
where he broadcasts a weekly live radio and market personnel – his descriptions a love affair.
programme in French. His genre-defying Such an affair formed the basis for Gill
book is an account of how he dealt with his In the 2019 London Bridge stabbings, Hornby’s fine 2020 novel Miss Austen and
mid-life predicament by taking leave from Finnerty and his customers took refuge now inspires Paula Byrne’s pleasant if unre-
his job as a high-flying journalist to train as markable Six Weeks by the Sea. Byrne sets her
a cheesemonger. in the cheese fridge in Borough Market novel in the summer of 1801, when the Aus-
It’s a remarkable tale, with only a tinge ten family, having left their Hampshire par-
of bathos. Born in the Canadian province of and evaluations of them and his custom- sonage for Bath, take a holiday in Sidmouth,
Saskatchewan, he spent ‘the better part of ers display the best writing in this book, a newly fashionable seaside resort and one of
a year’ in secondary school as an exchange and show that he is curious and cares about the models for Sanditon.
student with a French family in St-Étienne, them as much as he does about the cheese In Byrne’s version, the Austens are
where he had his first experience of non- he is handling and selling. There are a few embraced by Sidmouth’s fashionable soci-
supermarket cheese. There’s a lacuna in the outstanding set pieces, such as the account ety, led by the Reverend John Swete, whose
narrative and the reader never learns how of the November 2019 knife attack at Fish- wayward son William has recently returned
or why he ended up in London, working as mongers’ Hall, at the north end of London from Antigua with Leah, his mixed-race
a researcher, then a reporter, then a produc- Bridge, which spread into Borough Market daughter. His mother describes the girl as
er for the BBC World Service and finally and resulted in Finnerty and some of his col- ‘the daughter of a creature scarcely human’,
‘multimedia news editor’ for the Guardian for and Leah’s predicament enables Byrne to
‘15 years on either side of the Millennium’ . explore Regency racism and the evils of
In 1999 he even bought an ex-council slavery, subjects that Austen herself alluded
flat in Southwark, and in 2002 met his life to in Mansfield Park.
partner, ‘a beautiful, compassionate, eccen- True to Austenian form, Byrne’s novel
tric and understanding Frenchman’, about centres on a romance. Upon arriving in Sid-
whose movements and whereabouts we mouth, Jane finds herself courted by two
somewhat annoyingly learn nothing more. suitors: Samuel Rose, a lawyer, to whom
Finnerty left his successful London life to she has a marked antipathy, on account of
return to Montreal, where for 13 years he his profession; and Captain Parker, to whom
presented Daybreak, the CBC early morn- she feels an immediate sympathy, due to his
ing live radio show. He was well-paid, affection for her beloved brother Frank. With
the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 33

Books_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 33 19/08/2025 17:14

 BOOKS & ARTS

a discernment that seems implausible even for

GETTY IMAGES
the most brilliant Regency spinster, she intuits
that Parker is a ‘sodomite’, thus clearing the
field for Rose.
The historical Rose was a prominent edi-
tor, abolitionist and barrister, who defended
William Blake at his trial for sedition –
a strand somewhat awkwardly grafted on to
the novel’s plot. While there is no known con-
nection between Austen and Rose, and Blake
is not among her many literary references, the
fictional Rose proves to be a perfect foil for
Jane. This is unsurprising since his character
is largely an amalgam of Mr Darcy (he spars
with Jane at ‘the season’s first summer assem-
bly’) and Mr Knightley (he dances with Leah
after she is snubbed at a later assembly, much
as Knightley dances with Harriet Smith).
Rose’s death from a seizure at Blake’s
trial breaks Jane’s heart but steels her will.
She declares that, in contrast to her own sor-
row, ‘all my novels will have happy endings.’

A right pair
Alexander Larman
Entitled: The Rise and Fall
of the House of York
by Andrew Lownie
William Collins, £22, pp. 456

‘Many would have preferred this book not to

be written, including the Yorks themselves.’
So Andrew Lownie begins his coruscating The Duke and Duchess of York at Royal Ascot, 2019
examination of the lives of Prince Andrew
and Sarah ‘Fergie’ Ferguson, which has
excited significant media attention due to its the first serious attempt to deal with the life Lownie suggests she is rather a pitiful fig-
scandalous revelations. Lownie, a historian story of a grotesque man who was nick- ure who has clung to her ex-husband’s coat-
and literary agent, has pivoted away from an named ‘Baby Grumpling’ shortly after his tails in an attempt to maintain her status and
earlier, more conventional career as a biog- birth in 1960. He was his mother’s favour- income alike. She has always suffered inse-
rapher of John Buchan and Guy Burgess to ite child, but even she acknowledged that curity about her appearance and weight,
the self-appointed role of royal botherer-in- he was ‘not always a little ray of sunshine but her financial illiteracy was such that
chief. After earlier, similarly scabrous books about the house’. The bullying, arrogant a court case revealed: ‘Sarah had explained
about the Mountbattens and the Duke and her actions by saying she was drunk, was
Duchess of Windsor, he now finds his first Lownie achieves the near trying to help a friend and in debt.’ Perhaps
contemporary targets, and the results are pre- only drink could account for the decision
dictably marmalade-dropping.
impossible: one almost feels to write a series of lifestyle books entitled
Prince Andrew’s decline in public popu- sorry for Prince Andrew Madame Pantaloon.
larity over the past decade, exacerbated by Yet if Fergie comes across as an essen-
stories of his ill-considered friendship with boy who would rhetorically ask his Gor- tially comic character, the Duke of York is
Jeffrey Epstein and rumours of the sexual donstoun contemporaries ‘You do know a villain. Lownie clearly loathes the man,
abuse of the underage Virginia Giuffre, was who I am?’ would grow up a lonely, essen- who is depicted in the most unflattering
capped by his disastrous 2019 Newsnight tially friendless figure. Even the knowledge light at virtually every turn. If one contem-
interview with a disgusted-looking Emily that ‘Randy Andy’ was, in the words of porary attempts to excuse the worst of his
Maitlis, in which he tried and failed to sal- one former lover, ‘a well-built gentleman’ behaviour as being driven by shyness or
vage his reputation with a series of bizarre would eventually become his undoing. a desire to help friends, another source,
admissions that made him look both stupid Lownie writes that Andrew reputedly slept usually anonymous, will testify to his arro-
and sinister. Today, he has an uneasy rela- with more than 1,000 women, of whom by gance or snobbery or some other unpleasant
tionship with members of the wider royal far the most notorious (supposedly) was trait. He gets some grudging credit for his
family, who would like to be shot of him but Giuffre, who eventually won an out-of- courage during the Falklands War, in which
are reluctant to cast off one of their own; and court settlement rumoured to have been he participated as a helicopter pilot; but it
suspicions persist that it will only take one around £10 million. is made clear that the exaggerated report-
more scandal for him to be banished to repu- But Entitled also aims to delve beneath ing of his exploits was driven more by duty
tational Siberia. the benignly useless exterior of Ferguson – than genuine admiration. And by the time
Entitled, then, is designed to serve two described by one source as ‘all high jinks we are offered a minutely detailed account
complementary but distinct purposes. It is and jolly hockey sticks and practical jokes’. of his Epstein-triggered disgrace and down-
34 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

Books_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 34 19/08/2025 17:14

 fall, Lownie achieves the near impossible: the French army on the Maginot Line – the
one almost feels sorry for Prince Andrew.
Line of least resistance sophisticated fixed fortifications along the
This is not a book that any of the royal Allan Mallinson Franco-German border, the supposed ‘con-
family will enjoy reading. There are casu- tinuous line of fire everywhere’. But for the
ally delivered revelations, such as Prince The Maginot Line: A New History miracle of Dunkirk, it would have cost us
Philip having had an adulterous affair with by Kevin Passmore even more dearly than in 1914.
Ferguson’s mother Susan in the 1960s, that Yale, £30, pp. 512 Kevin Passmore, professor of modern
no other biographer has ever made pub- European history at Cardiff, writes:
lic. And there is a discussion of Andrew I don’t want to rain on the new Entente Ami- In the ninth decade after this catastrophe, the
and Harry having a fight in 2013, follow- cale’s parade; it’s just that whenever we get Maginot Line remains a symbol of an expensive-
ing which Harry allegedly told William how cosy with the French, military disaster seems ly useless response to real or perceived danger.
much he hated his uncle Andrew. Lown- to follow. The myth is used to discredit policies, from Don-
ie concludes cheerily: ‘It is ironic that the In 1914, a decade after the signing of the ald Trump’s wall on the Mexican border, through
Duke and Duchess of York, ostensibly the Entente Cordiale, the War Office fell hook, the US Army’s response to artificial-intelligence-
powered weaponry and Ukrainian defences
strongest defenders of the monarchy, may line and sinker for the Conseil Supérieur de against the Russian invasion, to the EU’s pro-
through their behaviour between them have la Guerre’s doctrine of Attaque à outrance posed tariffs on Chinese electric vehicles.
done most to hasten its demise.’ It is hard
not to believe that the author would relish Marshal Foch despaired that The Maginot Line symbolises decadence,
such a downfall. too; but the reality is more complex, he adds.
One cannot help wondering wheth- the Treaty of Versailles was not When the treaty was signed at Versailles
er Entitled, which combines high-mind- a peace but a 20-year armistice in 1919, Marshal Foch, the French com-
ed contempt and bitchy gossip in readable mander-in-chief, despaired that it wasn’t
but seldom inspired prose, is the precursor (attack to the extreme limits) and ludicrous a peace but a 20-year armistice. The Conseil,
to another, yet more scandalous account Plan XVII. By April the following year we’d even if not quite believing his remarkably
by Lownie of the younger members of lost most of the regular army. accurate prophecy, at once began to consider
the royal family, specifically Harry and In 1939 we again sent an expeditionary defence plans. This required some consider-
Meghan. Perhaps it will be called Dumb and force to France and in May 1940 we fell ation of the lessons of the war – disputed,
Dumber. In any case, this is a fascinating if for the Conseil’s ‘Dyle Plan’. This involved as lessons of war invariably are – but also
oddly joyless book that will no doubt sell abandoning the field defences constructed the geographical reality. The French frontier
in huge quantities. But be prepared to feel during the winter and advancing into Bel- was long and hard to defend, thanks in part to
queasy after this wallow in the dark side of gium to confront the German Blitzkrieg in the 1815 Treaty of Paris which had ensured
noblesse oblige. the open, leaving behind the greater part of that invaders could easily reach the capital.
Ti p b s
s ss’
i a l o an
me ra
n c y t ri
na ar sto
Fi ilit r hi
m a
d ell
an ‘St

Master’s and PhD research in

M I L I T A RY H I S T O RY
D IRECTED by two of Britain’s
leading military historians, Dr
Stuart Mitchell and Professor Gary
M`XMZ\[QV\PMÅMTL;]KKM[[N]TXZWRMK\[
PI^MZIVOMLNZWU\PMKWVÆQK\[WN \PM
 \PKMV\]Za\W\PM;MKWVL?WZTL?IZ
;I]T,I^QL, &W\PMZ[;]XMZ^Q[QWV[
are held in Bloomsbury, seminars and
LQVVMZ[QVI*MTOZI^QIKT]J
;PM‫ٻ‬MTL, and based in central London,
this one-year MA programme and
three-year PhD provide the opportunity
to pursue in-depth research into your
One-to-one supervision is complemented
by a scintillating programme of early-
evening seminars, each followed by a
S KPWTIZ[PQX[IZMI^IQTIJTM<PMZMIZM
a few places remaining for 2025/26,
[\IZ\QVOQVTI\M;MX\MUJMZ
chosen topic under the guidance of working dinner, with speakers including For further information, email:
some of the country’s most distinguished Jeremy Black, Sir Hew Strachan, [Link]@[Link]

theUB
spectator | 23 Spectator
Military History august 2025 | [Link]
2025-06-19 [Link] 1 18/08/2025 17:3035

Books_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 35 19/08/2025 17:14

 BOOKS & ARTS

Tank barriers
forming part of
the complicated
system that
made up the
Maginot Line
GETTY IMAGES

Early plans therefore saw a return to Attaque was widespread in the socialist and moderate- ‘It proved impossible to “perfect”, as one
à outrance, envisaging French and Belgian left radical-socialist parties, though most accept- general put it, the natural environment, air,
forces in the occupied Rhineland advancing ed that France must defend itself if attacked. water and the landscape for military purpos-
The veteran movement also contained a strong
to meet Polish and Czech forces and cutting pacifist tendency, and its identification with the es. New technology was fallible.’
Germany in two. ordinary soldier shaded into dislike of regular But Maginot himself, the main pro-
But France’s leaders now had to defend officers. Even the right accepted that [compul- ponent of the project and who secured the
Alsace-Lorraine, too – no small challenge sory] military service must be reduced. initial funding, would not live to see its fal-
given the cost of victory and the fact that for libility. The actual work, accelerated in the
47 years the province had been Elsass- The lessons of the war, as the French late 1930s, was mostly that of his successor,
Lothringen. Some 700,000 British service- military establishment saw them – the brilliant mathematician and former prime
men died during the first world war (and heterogenic and politicised as that establish- minister Paul Painlevé.
200,000 more from the dominions and ment was – were not simply of mobility vs Reading this fascinating, scholarly and
India). The figure for France was twice firepower, but of the nature of command. salutary study of the greatest military folly
that, with another three million wounded, There had been a naturally occurring tacti- of modern times, I couldn’t help but think of
a million of them severely, and from a popu- cal devolution of command to junior offic- the Duke of Wellington’s comparison of his
lation roughly the same as Britain – 40 mil- ers and NCOs during the war, and in 1917 way of campaigning with that of the French:
lion. Vast tracts of agricultural land were there had been mutinies by the rank and The French plans are like a splendid leather har-
blighted by battle. Whole towns and villages file. (‘We will defend the trenches, but will ness which is perfect when it works, but if it
lay in ruins. As they retreated, the Germans not attack’, thereby showing a finer grasp breaks it cannot be mended. I make my harness of
hadn’t quite poisoned the wells and salt- of tactical reality than the higher command). ropes; it is never as good looking as the French,
ed the fields, but they’d flooded the mines but if it breaks I can tie a knot and carry on.
In the background was the Russian Revolu-
and dismantled the factories. France had tion and the spread after the war of communist
sold her gold reserves and contracted huge antimilitarism to France, where it met social-
debt. One in five mobilised primary school ist and liberal pacifism. Fortification was the State of the arts
teachers had been killed. military dimension of a wider conservative
Little wonder, says Passmore, that so response, which paralleled responses in the fac- Igor Toronyi-Lalic
tories and the political system. It was designed
many men, women and children were trau- to buttress hierarchical command and to regulate
matised. In 1922, the war minister André and synchronise human beings and the natural Against Morality
Maginot, himself badly wounded in 1914 environment in the interests of military, nation- by Rosanna McLaughlin
and invalided out of the army in the rank al, social and political defence. Floating Opera Press, £15, pp. 88
of sergeant, told parliament: ‘If there is one
thing that’s henceforth agreed about mod- This latter derived in part from the Against Morality is not against morality. But
ern warfare, it’s that victory is insufficient to American F.W. Taylor’s methods of ration- it is against moralising. Which is a start. Anti-
compensate a people for the damage of inva- alised, standardised mass production, cancel culture, anti-identity politics, Rosan-
sion.’ Passmore is cautious, however, about known in France as l’organisation du na McLaughlin’s small book of essays is the
the extent to which the Maginot Line derived travail. However, says Passmore, the pro- first insider-artworld publication to condemn
from the trauma of war, arguing that while ject was unworkable. Many political and the Savonarolan turn within culture. A cause
many individuals were traumatised, France military experts opposed the construction for celebration, you might think.
as a ‘body’ was not: of permanent fortifications; ordinary offic- Her argument is perfectly sound. ‘Moral-
There was much antiwar sentiment. The growing
ers resented serving in them; and the rank- ity has become the central pillar, the justifi-
Communist party was antimilitarist, though not and-file contested top-down command, cation for art, the bar by which we measure
against political violence or war waged by com- usually as citizens with democratic rights, whether something is good or bad’, and it’s
munist states. Pacifism, opposition to war itself, sometimes as pacifists or communists: been a disaster. Forcing art to ‘communi-
36 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

Books_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 36 19/08/2025 17:14

 cate clear and approvable messages’, cleans- ly moralising biographical facts about Ana
ing the canon of bad behaviour, conscripting Mendieta and Artemisia Gentileschi not with
A blast from the past
artists as ‘empathetic social workers’, has an aesthetic defence of their work but with Susie Mesure
impoverished art, flattened it to such an her own, more sophisticated biographical
extent that the work of the past has become facts. She eulogises the film Tár. A giveaway. Helm
meaningless, the work of the living ‘timid, Tár – a formal nullity, a New Yorker long-read by Sarah Hall
defensive and rule-bound’. masquerading as a work of art that will disap- Faber, £20, pp. 340
She calls all this ‘liberal realism’. Like pear as quickly as the discourse that birthed
Mark Fisher’s capitalist realism and Soviet it – could only be confused for a fine film To read something by the Cumbria-born
social realism before it, the aim of liberal by someone who thinks artworks are ethical Sarah Hall is to enter a dizzying, earthy and
realism is to shut down alternative ways of puzzles rather than aesthetic objects. often dystopian world where the elements
interpreting the world: It’s why McLaughlin retains a crucial rule and nature is blood red. Her nine previ-
Thus, the viewer is told what to think and why,
role for morality: it can be a useful yardstick ous short story collections and novels strad-
artworks become illustrations for the meta- for measuring artistic quality, she admits, dle life’s peripheries, often scratching at the
narrative of biography, and artists and their sub- as long as you privilege the knotty over the limits of what it means to be human. ‘Mrs
jects ciphers for social-justice narratives... to bet- simplistic. But I can think of many simple- Fox’, one of her best known stories – and one
ter meet the needs of the present. minded marvels: constructivism’s geomet- of two for which she has won the BBC Short
ric first-fights on behalf of communism; Story Prize – is a visceral tale about a woman
She ridicules the ‘moralistic glow-ups’ of the Byzantine masterpieces that shout their who turns into a fox. In her 2021 novel
dead artists – how Andy Warhol was com- worship of Christ Pantocrator as obnox- Burntcoat, a virulent virus made Covid-19
ically recast as a queer role model by Tate iously as any TfL poster. And I can think look almost benign.
Modern, his Factory a ‘safe space’. Warhol’s of many more artworks that remain Helm is a different beast again, one she
exploitative nature was one of the most fas- resolutely amoral. has been working on for almost 20 years.
cinating things about him, McLaughlin right- Ignoring form, she neglects the most inter- Its title and main character is Britain’s only
ly argues. She winces at how victimhood esting – and ironic – aspect of the progressive named wind, which hits the southwest slopes
has been fetishised. How artists ‘perform chokehold of the past decade. Namely that it of Cross Fell, in Cumbria’s Eden Valley
their ethnic or gender identities’ for a glob- has ushered in one of the most formally con- where Hall grew up. In the opening section,
al elite in an ‘identity-political reboot of the servative periods of art for 200 years. Look we are introduced to both Helm and human-
National Geographic’. The book reads like at the revival of craft at the last Venice Bien- ity itself: a whistle-stop evolutionary tour
one long sigh. nale. Note the way, under the cover of iden- through the billennia via the third-person
And well may you sigh, too – that art tity, the canon has been reactivated – the black perspective of Helm, a wind that is to Eng-
is better when it doesn’t reiterate what we Manets, female Manets, gay Manets, black land what the Mistral is to southern France
already know; that it’s a bad idea to assess Rauschenbergs, female Rauschenbergs, even and the Santa Ana is to California.
a work of art according to its social useful- gayer Rauschenbergs, etc. Observe the explo- Of what fantastical, phenomenal and calculable
ness or the moral worth of its creator. There’s sion of bad figurative painting. As the Soviets things Helm is made! Malefiance and data and
nothing here to disagree with. But honestly, learnt, the most effective propaganda was not lore. Atmospheric principles and folktales, spirit
what a state the arts are in that commonplaces formally experimental but crisply real. The and substance, opposites and inversions. So many
like these need to be aired, argued for, repeat- result has been a decade of what Dean Kissick identities and personalities; it makes Helm’s
ed again and again. coined, in these pages, ‘zombie figuration’. heads spin.
It was progress of sorts that the pam- Cultural paleoconservatives – the
phlet’s launch last month was able to be held ‘RETVRN’ lot on Twitter who swoon over So writes Hall in the first of 61 segments that
at the ICA at all (an enemy stronghold) to Poundshop Berninis – owe the woke move- range from drawings to archaeological finds
a capacity crowd. But on Instagram the gal- ment an apology. So does anyone who has to standalone stories to interrupted narra-
lery was accused of hosting fascists. So we’re prayed for the decorative and illustrative to tives set through the ages that coalesce into
not out of the woods yet. Much worse, the retvrn. Forget liberal realism, GCSE realism an extraordinary novel. ‘Cue, afterwards,
audience – young and eager to overhaul the is the triumphant style du jour. And identity lots of identity politics, superstitions, bonk-
status quo as they were – appeared as aes- politics is the midwife to it all. ers rituals and boffin theories about Helm,’
thetically illiterate as the people they’re The real problem with McLaughlin’s the author continues, seeking to explain
trying to oust. publication is timing. The shows where she both the strong, cold, north-easterly wind
What Against Morality is really against first sensed things going badly wrong date that occurs at specific times of year and the
– the enemy that unites the puritans, anti- from 2016 and 2017. It’s now 2025. The helmet-shaped cloud bank it creates.
puritans, McLaughlin, everyone – is form. whole point of a critic is to say things before Characters vary from NaNay, a Neo-
And yet form is the only way out. The only anyone else, not once a consensus has formed. lithic Age seer, to a present day meteorolo-
way to judge whether an artwork has suc- Against Morality might seem startlingly fresh gist, Dr Selima Sutar, who is worried about
ceeded or failed is not to force it to under- within the cossetted world of art. But to the Helm being caught in the cross winds of
take any kind of moral MOT, but to look at it, rest of us, it will feel at best hopelessly late, microplastics-induced climate change. Other
look at it long and hard, and examine what’s at worst opportunistic. voices include Michael Lang, a medieval
happening formally. Inspect what the artist is wizard priest on a mission to ‘confront the
doing aesthetically with the materials at hand malevolent form that issues from black cloud
and the quality of the work will instantly during spring and harvest’, and Thomas
become clear. But form is treacherous, dif- Bodger, ‘Bodge’ to the Royal Meteorologi-
ficult to write about and liable to make you cal Society chaps, who is on an expedition
sound unforgivably pretentious. Far safer, to capture Helm’s spirit. ‘Marvellous! It’s
more socially acceptable, less work, to retreat about time someone wrote a book for Helm,’
into sixth-form debating over Moral Maze- the cheeky wind observes.
type quandaries. Hall, who has been twice nominated for
McLaughlin rebukes this tendency, too – the Booker Prize, sweeps from the cinematic
then does it herself. She counters salacious- to the specific, her prose pulsing with life and
the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 37

Books_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 37 19/08/2025 17:14

 BOOKS & ARTS

lyricism. Helm pushes both the boundaries of ry that made it modern was the

GETTY IMAGES
the novel and our relationship with nature. seemingly casual but in fact
It left me longing to ascend Cross Fell and feel meticulously crafted language
the full force of the wind for myself. he employed – a mixture of
contemporary demotic Greek
and the literary and archaised
Poet of a lost world form katharevousa. This means
the poems are tricky to trans-
Peter Parker late, since Cavafy’s carefully
deployed distinction between the
Alexandrian Sphinx: The Hidden two modes is difficult to render in
Life of Constantine Cavafy other languages. When not writ-
by Peter Jeffreys & Gregory Jusdanis ing about fleeting homosexual
Summit Books, £30, pp. 560 experiences, Cavafy drew upon
his deep knowledge of history
C.P. Cavafy, who had a very high opinion to create poems featuring other-
of his own work, would no doubt be grati- wise forgotten people and events
fied to learn that he is now one of the most from the ancient world. The uni-
admired poets of the 20th century. This is fying theme of his poetry is the
all the more remarkable because during his depredations of time: the decline
lifetime (1863-1933) he did not allow a sin- and collapse of civilisations, the
gle volume of his poetry to be published, transience of physical beauty,
preferring to circulate privately printed the sensual pleasures of youth
sheets and pamphlets among his admirers. He sorrowfully recalled in old age.
was also disinclined to co-operate with those Time itself sometimes collapses,
who wanted to translate the poems from their as in ‘Caesarion’, where Antony
original Greek into other languages; but in and Cleopatra’s doomed eld-
English alone there have now been more est son, imagined as a beautiful
than 30 different volumes of his complete youth, materialises in the penum-
or selected poems. Even so, there has been bra of the poet’s candle-lit flat.
no English language biography since Rob- There is also a literary and sexu-
ert Liddell’s, published more than 50 years al continuity between the ancient
ago, which makes this new and extremely C.P. Cavafy – recalling the young men of his past
and modern worlds in the way
thorough account of the poet’s life, work and the young men Cavafy recalls
posthumous reputation especially welcome. from his own past have the phys-
Cavafy was born into a prosper- a larger audience when it was reprinted in ical attributes of classical Greek statuary
ous Anglo-Greek family of merchants Pharos and Pharillon (1923) with the addi- but are otherwise absolutely contemporary,
in Alexandria. But his pampered child- tional translation of what became one of with unrewarding jobs, shabby suits and
hood came to an abrupt end at the age of Cavafy’s most celebrated poems, ‘The God ‘mended underwear’.
seven when his father died young, leaving Abandons Antony’. Jeffreys and Jusdanis have chosen to
a widow, seven children and a severely Forster had no doubt been drawn to arrange their biography thematically rath-
depleted estate. He nevertheless enjoyed Cavafy because of their shared homosexu- er than chronologically, ‘focusing on key
a cosmopolitan upbringing in Liver- ality. Although extremely circumspect in his topics’, which include Alexandria, Cavafy’s
pool, London and Constantinople before he personal life, Cavafy felt able to admit in family, his friendships, his poetry and the
returned permanently to the city of his birth dissemination and promotion of his work.
in his early twenties. Obliged to find employ- Cavafy spent much of his later years This has its problems, leading to occasional
ment, he became a clerk with the irrigation
service, where he remained for 30 years.
secluded in his flat above a brothel in repetitions and to the delayed arrival of use-
ful information. For example, we learn in an
The job was dull but not particularly oner- a down-at-heel area of Alexandria early chapter titled ‘Trauma, Exile and Loss’
ous, since his working hours were 8 a.m. to that it was ‘the bombardment of Alexandria’
1.30 p.m., leaving him the afternoon and even- a poem that ‘In the dissolute life of my that forced the family to leave the city in
ing to do his writing. youth/ The designs of my poetry took 1882, but what that bombardment was and
As a young man Cavafy had enjoyed shape,/ the territories of my art took form’. what caused it is not explained until more
exploring Alexandria, its streets and parks He nevertheless complained that the ‘wretch- than 100 pages later in a chapter about the
and bars and shops, wonderfully brought to ed laws of society have inhibited my expres- city’s history.
life by Peter Jeffreys and Gregory Jusdanis; siveness’, something Forster well understood, In addition, information that should have
but in later years he spent much of his time having recently completed his homosexual been integrated into the text is sometimes
secluded in his flat at 10 Lepsius Street, novel Maurice, which he felt unable to pub- relegated to the endnotes, as in the account
above a brothel in a down-at-heel area of lish but which he circulated in manuscript of the silences around Cavafy’s sexuality.
the city. among sympathetic friends. Society’s laws The distinction between facts and specula-
It was to this flat that E.M. Forster came in notwithstanding, Cavafy would go on to make tion is occasionally blurred: an older sib-
1916 while doing war service in Egypt with homosexual encounters in what the authors ling, Paul, is first described as one of the
the Red Cross. Forster would be the first per- call the ‘idealised anonymous realm’ of Alex- family’s two ‘homosexual brothers’, then
son to introduce Cavafy’s work to English andria, ‘where not even the young men have as ‘reputedly homosexual’, an endnote add-
readers. A perceptive and affectionate article, names’, a principal subject of his poems, ing ‘the source for this is based on innuendo
which included translations of three poems which is one of the reasons his work feels so and rumour propagated by Dimitris Garou-
and extracts from two others, was published ahead of its time. falias’, which hardly sounds authoritative.
in the Athenaeum in April 1919 and reached The other element of Cavafy’s poet- Perhaps excusably, poems are sometimes
38 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

Books_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 38 19/08/2025 17:14

 referred to but not quoted, which means The Road
that it is essential to have an edition of the
poems to hand – ideally Daniel Mendel-
sohn’s superb translation of the Complete The streets looked foreign and the night was short
Poems, which includes unfinished and ‘repu- And pointed to a situation tense,
diated’ works. But how else can experience be thought
These caveats aside, this is a rich-
ly detailed and clear-sighted account of
Cavafy’s life and work, not afraid to lay When there is nothing else you could report
bare the poet’s occasionally brutal dismiss- Than empty boulevards where lights condense
al of those who considered themselves his
friends (shades of Benjamin Britten) and Where streets looked foreign and the night was short,
his ‘ruthless self-promotion’. Above all,
it sends one back to Cavafy’s extraordi- When everything looked futile, nothing taught
nary body of poems both enlightened and
newly enthused. You that your driving round made little sense,
But how else can experience be thought?

A comedy of ideas And how else can experience be caught

Nicholas Lezard Except by making it a picture, whence
The streets looked foreign and the night was short?
TonyInterruptor
by Nicola Barker
Granta, £16.99, pp. 208 Perhaps this methodology would sort
Things out, reality being no defence,
‘Is it any good?’ a friend asked when he saw
I was reading this book. ‘Yes,’ I said, ‘but But how else can experience be thought?
it’s full of wankers.’ By that stage I was only
up to page 24, but the remaining 184 pages So in the end you ask yourself what fought
did nothing to fundamentally alter my view.
There is nothing intrinsically wrong with Against your having feelings so intense:
this. The works of, say, Geoffrey Chaucer The streets looked foreign and the night was short,
and Jane Austen, not to mention thousands And how else can experience be thought?
of others, would be considerably poorer if
all the tiresome people were filtered out. But
it does make it hard to read TonyInterruptor —N.S. Thompson
for more than 30 pages at a stretch. One has
to pinch the bridge of the nose and go for
a little walk.
The story begins at an improvised jazz
performance (of course it does), when, in
the middle of a ‘particularly devastating’ identities, whatever you want to call it, is simply about abstractions, the characters spend a lot
trumpet solo, a man in the audience stands a defence against paradox. And life is paradox, of time either trying to find the right word or
up and asks: ‘Is this honest? Are we all being Sasha. Life is – and has always been – paradox.’ correcting someone when they haven’t man-
honest here?’ The incident is filmed by I trust you get the picture. aged it. And there is nothing like a bit of real-
a 16-year-old, who for some reason has What saves the novel is its humour. Sasha, ity – a kipper, for example – to bring one
a quarter of a million followers on a social in the quote above, is the interrupted trum- back to earth.
media platform. The clip goes viral, the trum- peter, and it’s a toss-up between him and But while Barker is at pains to demon-
peter denigrates the heckler as #tonyinterrup- at least two other characters as to wheth- strate how ghastly and self-obsessed these
tor, and because of the magic of the internet, er he’s the most annoying person in the people are, she is not cruel. (We are in an
and of course the whim of the author, every- book. (When we learn that he has a ‘soul unnamed Kent cathedral city, which kind of
thing becomes even worse. Somehow. patch’ – one of those tiny tufts of beard just narrows it down; ‘hateful, hateful’ someone
Nicola Barker is vague as to precise- underneath the lower lip – it comes as no calls it, summarising the parochialism that
ly how people’s lives are upended by sud- surprise whatsoever.) But he is humanised the over-educated characters have to endure.)
den, spurious attention. This is a comedy in this conversation by a hiccup. ‘Oops. He She gives these people their moments. At one
of ideas, which means that the characters clears his throat. Then he hiccups again. point Sasha says: ‘If you aren’t living on the
spend most of the time arguing about what He frowns. “Kippers,” he announces. “For edge then you’re taking up too much fucking
is honest, wherein authenticity resides, etc. lunch.” He burps gently, behind his knuckles.’ space.’ ‘Did you come up with that yourself?’
If this makes the book sound unbearable, This I find exquisite. There is the frown, he is asked. He did not. He frowns (again) and
it shouldn’t; but it does very much tremble an acknowledgment that his poise has been answers: ‘I read it in an article in the National
on the cliff edge of absurdity. We are in Iris undermined, and then the word ‘kippers’, Geographic about an American mountaineer.’
Murdoch territory, where people have con- which can never not be funny. And he doesn’t Now that really is decent of Barker. She could
versations that never happen in real life. I say it, he announces it. Barker does this all have put it in as an authorial aside, to show
have just opened the book at random to find the way through, sprinkling just the right us yet another aspect of Sasha’s ghastliness.
an example: words in the right places to keep us smiling. But no, she grants him this moment of hones-
‘If it helps at all, I’ve always felt – at a profound Interestingly,the word ‘oops’ pops up quite ty. Which is, I suppose, what the whole book
level – that compartmentalising fixed group a few times; and because they’re arguing is about.
the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 39

Books_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 39 19/08/2025 17:14

 BOOKS & ARTS

ARTS

Up close and personal

Richard Morris on how to access the many treasures locked away in private homes

I
do not, if I can help it, catch a train to to the public for a certain number of days a time-capsule stuffed with centuries of
anywhere on a Sunday. Yet there I was per year. In practice, this means access usu- fine art by the likes of Rembrandt,
at 9.14 a.m. heading out from Wood- ally has to be given for at least 28 days of Blake, Rossetti, Thomas Lawrence, Renoir,
bridge in Suffolk towards Cambridge to the year and outside of those days, the item Degas, Henri Matisse. The most recent
view a painting by Walter Sickert, a work I must be available for visits by appoint- addition is a painting by the Dutch golden
had not seen before and whose vital statistics ment at reasonable hours, usually from 10 age painter Jan Steen depicting a game of
– what even the work was of – I had no way a.m. until 4 p.m. Make no mistake, this is a backgammon.
of knowing; its owner had refused to send a heavy undertaking. The database is not without its quirks.
photograph or describe it over the telephone. The scheme was originally conceived Out-of-date information, no photographs,
Arriving at the owner’s address, I was in 1896 by Lord Salisbury’s government odd categories and hard to fathom descrip-
met by a neighbour who told me that in the after Gladstone’s chancellor Sir William tions that range from the well catalogued:
name of letting go and embracing surprise, Harcourt had introduced death duties. This
they had decided to visit a relative in Scot- Angelica Kauffmann, R.A. – Portrait of the
land the night before. A one-on-one with such Hon. Philip Bouverie-Pusey (1788-1872), head
In common with tens of thousands of and shoulders in a brown doublet and a brown
other art works, rare books, furniture, glass-
a beautiful, personal painting cloak, feigned oval, signed, 23 ¾in by 19 ½in, in
ware, silverware and what might be clas- is a very special experience a contemporary Maratta frame.
sified as objets d’art, this Sickert is listed
under HMRC’s Conditional Exemption Tax act of parliament had caused many to sell or To the cryptic: ‘Haig: The Cows.’
Incentive scheme (CETI). Under the meas- give away significant collections in order to My second search was for a work by
ure owners are exempt from paying inher- lower inheritance bills. Graham Sutherland, one of the neoroman-
itance or capital gains tax on ‘pre-eminent’ As a way to keep important pieces of tic painters who dominated British art dur-
work when it passes to a new owner as heritage from going overseas or being bro- ing the second world war and its aftermath.
long as they maintain, preserve and pro- ken up, the Tory chancellor, Michael Hicks Sutherland’s style is influenced by Picasso
vide public access to whatever is covered by Beach, decided that art, buildings, land and and Matisse, yet unmistakably British, echo-
the agreement. other objects of national importance should ing the great landscape painters of the early
The owner or their representative is then be conserved and protected for the benefit 19th century.
responsible for informing HMRC of any of the public and would be exempt from tax. The lady who the database claimed
change in circumstances that may affect Eccentrically, it wasn’t until the 1970s that owned the Sutherland had no idea why she
their ability to comply with the conditions in the public was allowed to actually view the was listed as a contact and was not sure who
the agreement. Tax is payable if any of these items held in its name, and only in 1998 did Sutherland was let alone where the painting
conditions are not met. public access became a necessary require- described on the database might be. Perhaps
In this context, ‘public access’ does not ment of the scheme. it was too soon to call it a trend but my third
mean access only with a prior appoint- The database was launched online in search indicated it probably wasn’t.
ment. It requires the owner of the listed 1996, and when it is working (it is frequent- What I was looking for was a portrait by
item or collection to open up their home ly offline), it can be a brilliant resource, John Constable, a picture he made of his wife
40 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

Arts_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 40 20/08/2025 09:59

 BRIDGEMAN IMAGES

‘A Castle Above A Chasm’, c.1841/44, by Turner: one of the many privately owned works that the public can access via the CETI scheme

Maria and their young family that speaks of stable produced a number of his six-footers, There is, of course, a risk in letting the
pure contentment. These domestic sketches, including ‘The Hay Wain’. public into your home to see valuable works
dashed down on paper and sometimes can- Luckily the Constable Research Pro- of art. And so to frustrate potential soup-hurl-
vas, are all the more poignant considering ject forwarded the email to the owner ers and the light-fingered, HMRC advises
the Constables’ married life was to last just who promptly arranged for me to see the owners to ask visitors for identification and
12 years. Getting to see this type of portrait work in person. suggests viewings be arranged in a such a
in a private setting is a rare treat. A one-on-one with such a beautiful, per- way that a friend can act as a security guard.
The online catalogue told me that a sketch sonal painting is a very special experience, No doubt the CETI scheme could func-
depicting Maria and three of their children almost like paying reverence to a relic. And tion better. With a little imagination most of
existed close to where I live in Suffolk. Alas, the changes are simple and obvious: improve
when my note to the contact’s email bounced The database is stuffed with the database to include images, add com-
and the telephone number I rang was unob- mon-sense categories, flesh out descriptions
tainable, I felt on familiar territory. centuries of fine art by the likes of of the pieces it lists. One could even hold
An email to Sarah Cove and Anne Lyles Rembrandt, Blake, Degas, Matisse open days for the public to see the work that
at the wonderfully efficient Constable is held in its name.
Research Project unearthed the possibility although this painting was very much a prod- Then we would all be able to have a
that the picture might have been shown at the uct of a secular vision, it had the power to chance to gaze at the many masterpieces hid-
National Portrait Gallery’s 2009 exhibition, work miracles: it restored my faith in the den away in homes up and down the country.
Constable Portraits: The Painter and His CETI database. All it would take, in this case, is someone to
Circle. I was sent a photograph of the cata- Over the course of the next week it tell us where they are.
logue that showed the picture, an oil sketch allowed me to see a work by Stanley Spen-
on canvas with pencil underdrawing. It was cer, a Monet in a dark office surrounded To search the CETI database head to:
as captivating as I thought it might be, and by old volumes of Darwin and Linnaeus, [Link]/servlet/com.
made in the early 1820s, a time when Con- and a beautiful Camille Pissarro landscape. [Link]
the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 41

Arts_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 41 20/08/2025 11:04

 BOOKS & ARTS

© ANSELM KIEFER. PHOTO © WHITE CUBE (THEO CHRISTELIS)

Yikes: ‘für Ingeborg Bachmann’, 2023-25, by Anselm Kiefer

Still, I caught the two Anselm Kiefer yikes. Produced on a gargantuan scale, his
Exhibitions shows running concurrently. Kiefer famous- new paintings retread the old line about the
Metal detector ly scandalised West German society with a weight of history (lead!) and are packed
series of performances in which he had him- with withered pastoral imagery and per-
Digby Warde-Aldam self photographed giving the Nazi salute in formative Teutonic guilt. Besides this, there
front of various historically loaded monu- are plenty of foreboding inscriptions – some
Anselm Kiefer ments. That was in 1969, and he has since in German, some, alarmingly, in pseudo-
White Cube Mason’s Yard become immensely successful and progres- Homeric Greek script. The Kiefer of 2025
has a very heavy-metal vibe to him: the
Folkestone Triennial The doom-auguring sunflower doom-auguring sunflower paintings here
Various sites, until 19 October would look great on the cover of a Metal-
paintings here would look great on lica record.
August is always a crap month for exhibi- the cover of a Metallica record Festival accommodation prices banjaxed
tions in London. The collectors are else- my ambitions to write about Mike Nelson’s
where, the dealers are presumably hot on sively less interesting. I can’t really write show in Edinburgh, so with less than 24
their heels, and the galleries are filled with about the better exhibition at the Royal hours remaining to file this column, I took a
makeweight group shows staged to hold Academy, which pairs the German’s work train down to Kent to see the latest iteration
the fort until the end of the holidays. This with that of his hero Van Gogh, as the cura- of the Folkestone Triennial. I confess to a
year, however, even events of that kind are tor is a friend. But in summary: you’ll look degree of hypocrisy here: 17 months ago, I
thin on the ground: many establishments at the Dutchman’s paintings afresh, marvel- wrote an article for this magazine complain-
have simply shuttered for the month – and ling at the berserk virtuosity of the brush- ing about the worldwide proliferation of the
given the dire state of the art market, I’m work; you will also note how big Kiefer’s art biennale format. There were, I thun-
inclined to wonder how many will reopen canvases are. dered, too many of them, and they should
come September. Over the road at White Cube, however… all be avoided for the sake of our collec-
42 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

Arts_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 42 20/08/2025 09:59

 tive sanity. Despite taking place every three while the beta males look on pathetically
years, rather than two, the Folkestone Trien-
Television as western civilisation breathes its last.
nial is just such an event. Child's play There have been seven Alien mov-
The difference is that it has a cheery indi- ies so far: the original quadrilogy, start-
viduality, a limited number of participating James Delingpole ing with Ridley Scott’s in 1979, and three
artists – there are just 18 showcased here – artsy prequels, starting with Prometheus,
and clear goals, which it largely achieves. Alien: Earth which Scott also directed. Now Disney
It’s also a great town for an art trail, taking Disney+ has got its claws on the franchise with yet
in Notting Hill-style stucco terraces, a nice- another prequel series, written and direct-
ly redeveloped commercial port, the con- I once spent a delightful weekend in Madrid ed by Noah Hawley (who created the FX
tinuation of the famous White Cliffs and a with the co-producer of Alien. His name series Fargo). It has had quite a few favour-
pretty clear view over to France. Speaking was David Giler (now dead, sadly, I’ve just able reviews but the diehard Alien fans
of which: in one of the Martello towers built discovered) and he’d hit upon the bizarre aren’t happy.
to repel a Napoleonic invasion, Katie Pat- idea of trying to get my anti-eco-lunacy And I’m with the diehard Alien fans. On
erson has created a mini-museum of hand- book Watermelons made into a Hollywood the upside this latest reboot has remained
sculpted little relics created mostly from movie. The film project never came off but true to the original aesthetic and its mood
waste materials. There are Egyptian amu- I did learn an important lesson in our time of careworn bleakness. (It’s set in 2120,
lets based on artefacts in the British Muse- together, hanging out in nice restaurants and but the typefaces on the computers still
um, hewn from bits of clapped-out circuit pretending to work: if you want a happy life have the retro look of a 1979 sci-fi movie
boards; tiny talismans pieced together from cushioned from financial care, the secret is designer’s idea of the future.) But it’s dis-
space junk: that sort of thing. It’s very good. to wangle yourself percentage points of a appointingly silly, even twee in places, with
Most of the exhibits are sculptural piec- successful franchise. poor editing (clunky transitions; pointless
es commissioned for specific locations, and Another example of this is Franc Roddam, fades to black) and gaping plot inconsisten-
where possible, they will stay in situ: previ- with whom I once spent an even stranger cies quite out of keeping with the original’s
ous editions of the event have bequeathed weekend in Accra, Ghana. Roddam devised grimy authenticity.
the town works including a pair of pictur- the format for the MasterChef concept and The premise is that one of the spaceships
esque little Richard Woods cottages in the has been sitting pretty ever since. As too, of owned by the rival evil corporations that
harbour, and a lovely Ian Hamilton Finlay course, has Brummie comedian Jasper Car- run the universe has crashed into a high-rise
text piece on the lighthouse. There’s noth- rott, who co-owned the production company building in Bangkok. It has been collecting
ing that great this time, but there are some that invented Who Wants To Be A Million- nasty alien specimens, including an eye crea-
entertaining contributions. aire?. So, I learned the other day from a chap ture with octopus legs, half-leech half-centi-
Laure Prouvost, a French artist who, who comes riding with me, have many of pede insects that drain your blood in seconds
despite being off-the-scale kooky (and once the people involved with the Mamma Mia! and – bizarrely – a Xenomorph. I say bizarre-
telling me I looked ‘like a toilet’), is sporad- musical, who were persuaded to take per- ly because Ripley’s primary mission in the
centage points in lieu of payment because Alien movies was to stop the Xenomorph,
It’s a better use of funds than the show had no money at the beginning which had never before been seen by any
and no one quite expected it to do as well as human, getting to Earth and wreaking havoc.
building a mediocre contemporary art it did. Yet in Alien: Earth, a film supposedly set
museum that nobody really likes Anyway, Alien. One of the reasons it two years earlier, the Xenomorph has already
had such a massive cultural impact, Giler arrived. This is wantonly disrespectful to
ically brilliant, has a typically wonky avian explained, was that it was just about the first the canon.
sculpture perched on the harbour arm; at film to introduce the concept of a female Meanwhile, the world’s youngest tril-
the station, J. Maizlish Mole has installed action heroine. Before Alien, the job of lionaire, Boy Kavalier (Samuel Blenkin),
a tourist map that makes no distinction women in action films was to look pretty a sort of whackier, creepier, more annoy-
between contemporary Folkestone and the and vulnerable and to be rescued by men. ing Elon Musk, is trying to win the ‘race
ruins that may or may not lie beneath it; and Sigourney Weaver’s iconic Ripley character for immortality’ by engineering synthetic
way up on the heights, Sara Trillo has scat- changed all that (she had no option, all the bodies, implanted with human conscious-
tered a boat-load of fake ruins across a patch blokes, notably John Hurt in the exploding ness, called ‘hybrids’. The prototype is
of burgeoning vegetation. If they look a bit chest scene, having been disembowelled by Wendy, who has the body of an attractive
like ornaments sold at roadside garden cen- the Xenomorph). We have been paying the young woman, but the mind of an 11-year-
tres, I sense that may well be the point. price ever since with endless blockbusters old girl who was dying of cancer but who in
If you were to isolate an adjective to sum featuring pumped-up girls doing stuff that in this new container, apparently, will live for
it up, the word might well be ‘whacky’ – real life they’d be utterly incapable of doing, ever and be able to do all sorts of cool things
did I mention that there’s a children’s play- such as jump off ledges from high cliffs and
ground designed by Monster Chetwynd? land unscathed.
– but it screeches to a halt just short of twee. Soon Wendy (Sydney Chandler) is joined
And even when it gets a bit morally instruc- by yet more hybrids, all of whom still talk
tional, as is the case with Dorothy Cross’s and think like the children they were. Nerv-
sculptural meditation on the migrant crisis, ous, impulsive, traumatised kids who’ve
the work is strong enough to bear the load. had no time to get used to their bodies and
Look, it’s not a seismic cultural happening, no training whatsoever: the very last peo-
but it’s almost certainly a better use of funds ple, you might think, that you’d send totally
than building a mediocre contemporary art unbriefed to conduct a rescue operation in
museum that nobody really likes. It’s fun, a disaster zone swarming with killer aliens.
it’s thoughtful, and people seem to love it. But Boy Kavalier – for the flimsiest of rea-
It also leaves the town with a visible legacy sons – thinks it makes perfect sense. As one
of its presence. And that, I reckon, is a bien- ‘He was so shocked I passed he wag has quipped, it really should have been
nale model worth emulating. had a heart attack.’ called Alien: Daycare.
the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 43

Arts_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 43 20/08/2025 09:59

 BOOKS & ARTS

GILES KEYTE/NETFLIX
Helen Mirren (Elizabeth), Pierce Brosnan (Ron), Ben Kingsley (Ibrahim) and Celia Imrie (Joyce) in The Thursday Murder Club

it has so much star power that if, God forbid, in ‘the jigsaw room’ to solve cold-case mur-
Cinema something calamitous had happened as the ders. (The group was started by Penny, a
Stars in your eyes cast were being bussed to set, the whole top retired police detective who had access to
tier of British acting would have been wiped files but she’s now in the hospice wing.) As
Deborah Ross out. (Only Judi Dench – who wasn’t cast we join the action there are tensions afoot.
for whatever reason – would be left to hold Ian Ventham (David Tennant), the village’s
The Thursday Murder Club the fort.) rapacious developer, wants to raze the vil-
12A, Nationwide Our four retirees are: Elizabeth (Helen lage to the ground and build luxury flats.
Mirren), a one-time spy; Ibrahim (Ben King- (Hang on, isn’t it already luxury flats?) He
Richard Osman’s The Thursday Murder sley), a retired psychiatrist; Joyce (Celia is in partnership with a builder, Tony Cur-
Club, which is set in a retirement village ran (Geoff Bell). First, Curran is murdered
and features pensioners solving murders, It’s reminiscent of Enid Blyton’s and then Ventham. So whodunnit? The four
was a publishing sensation. (There are now investigate along with Stephen (Jonathan
four books in the series, with combined The Famous Five, but at the opposite Pryce), Elizabeth’s husband who is slip-
sales of more than ten million copies.) I’ve end of the age spectrum ping into dementia but still has moments of
never read it. ‘Cosy crime’, as it’s called, astuteness (the pair are very touching). It’s
is either your bag or it isn’t. This adapta- Imrie), an ex-nurse; and Ron (Pierce Bros- reminiscent of Enid Blyton’s The Famous
tion, however, feels exactly like the book nan) known as ‘Red Ron’ from his days as Five, but at the opposite end of the age spec-
that I haven’t and would never read. I hope a fiery trade union leader. Coopers Chase trum, and minus Timmy the dog.
Mr Osman et al. will take this as praise. In Retirement Village is the White Lotus of The mechanics of the plot – which also
other words, the film knows what it is doing, retirement homes. It must cost a bomb. Resi- throws Daniel Mays into the mix, and Rich-
who it is for, and fans will, I’m convinced, dents are housed in multi-roomed apartments ard E. Grant – need not detain us, and I wish
be delighted. and have access to vast grounds, swimming the film hadn’t been as detained by them
It’s not cinematic. It's a Netflix pro- pools, an archery range, llamas, even a wine either. It eats into the time in which we could
duction and will be in theatres for a week menu at lunch. (What was ‘Red Ron’ doing simply be hanging out with the characters
before landing on the streamer on 28 August. here and how could he afford it, I wondered. while enjoying their quirks and admiring
It could easily be a TV Christmas special. If he had headed your trade union back in the Joyce’s cakes. (Her four-layer lemon driz-
That said, it’s certainly not been made on the day, I would have checked the financials for zle looks dreamy.) I can see why the books
cheap. Produced by Steven Spielberg’s com- the time he was in office.) are so successful. It's not patronising. These
pany and directed by Chris Columbus (Mrs These four prefer police-autopsy reports are all interesting people who have led inter-
Doubtfire, the first two Harry Potter films), to intermediate knitting and meet every week esting lives and who, given the opportuni-
44 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

Arts_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 44 20/08/2025 09:59

 ty, are fully capable of running rings round from start to finish. But primitive has its
the police. It could have been more playful place, and even 60 years on, rammed through THE LISTENER
but, on the other hand, it’s not every day you a big PA, this music sounded not like kitsch Bellucci's Beethoven cycle
get to witness Brosnan bouncing through an but like something deeply connected to the
aqua-aerobics class. original spirit of Little Richard and Jerry
Columbus doesn’t introduce much sus- Lee Lewis.
pense or tension. And the cast’s talent is It's kept alive by people such as Alec
barely made use of. But, overall, it’s a loving Palao, who was playing bass for the Seeds
salute to an old-fashioned kind of storytell- and was also a founder of the opening band
ing – and a book that I’ll never read. from Crouch End, the Sting-rays, a 1980s
garage band who had reunited especial-
ly to open the night. Their own set mixed
Pop covers – all by bands unfamiliar to most
but legends to these few hundred (Kenny
Red alert and the Kasuals, the Spades) – with a few
Michael Hann originals: ‘Escalator’ was gloriously out
of control.
Koko was a wildly ambitious booking
The Seeds/The Sting-rays – the top couple of tiers were closed – but Grade: C
Koko this felt as celebratory as any gig packed to In the 1990s the young Italian pianist
the rafters with excited teenagers, just older Giovanni Bellucci gave us a reading
MJ Lenderman & the Wind and stiffer. Partway through the Seeds’s set of Beethoven’s Hammerklavier
Roundhouse I noticed that the Sting-rays’ singer was just Sonata whose thrilling athleticism
to my left, staring raptly and singing along: bore comparison with those of
I have nothing but admiration for those men ‘If you got your radio, turn it on/ So I can Maurizio Pollini and Charles Rosen.
who burn a candle for the music of 1966. satisfy you, girl/ So I can satisfy you.’ It A few years later Bellucci began a
Partly because, like them, I believe 1966 to was wonderful – and no one shouted:‘Oi, complete cycle of the piano sonatas
be pop’s greatest year, but mainly because Austin Powers!’ – but, rather than include his existing
being a psychedelic hipster requires a com- MJ Lenderman is a precious guitarist Hammerklavier, he produced a
mitment that invites ridicule. and songwriter, part of an American indie version that was in keeping with
It’s one thing to be an ageing fella who band called Wednesday, whose solo career the style of the cycle: deliberately
likes rock’n’roll – sharp denim and a well- has rapidly outstripped his day job. A couple perverse, reinterpreting (that is,
tended quiff can look just fine. And you of albums – Boat Songs and Manning Fire- ignoring) the composer’s precise
can never really tell the age of a metal- works – had critics swooning and audiences instructions in the score.
head – they just look like a metalhead. But swelling. Their presentation at the Round- Only now has Bellucci finished the
to wear your hair in an outgrown bowl cut, house was proper dadrock; the shadow of cycle, explaining in his pretentious
and to strut around in tight red trousers as Neil Young and Crazy Horse was inescap- liner notes that he was held up by
Seeds singer Paul Kopf does, is inevitably to able in the long, lazy swells of fuzzed guitar, his meditations on Beethoven’s
invite catcalls of ‘Oi, Austin Powers!’. You in the hungover thud of the drums (and the true intentions. So, for example, the
have to really believe in it to go through life Young cover in the encore). But the twen- first movement of the Moonlight
like that. tysomethings connect to it, too. There were is as slathered in sustaining pedal
The Seeds were a four-piece band from lots of them here, plenty wearing trucker as Debussy’s submerged cathedral.
Los Angeles who, back in the 1960s, were caps to stress the affinity between I95 and Every sonata goes through the
among the first to bridge the gap between the Chalk Farm Road. wringer, and generally speaking
the new psychedelia and the hard-driving Lenderman’s a passable lyricist. There the more modest the piece the more
R&B known as garage punk. Today the are hints at strong ideas in his songs, and the grotesque the results: the delicious
Seeds consist of one original member – in occasional startling image – ‘We sat under a Vivace finale of the miniature Opus
this case, keyboard player Daryl Hooper – half-mast McDonald’s flag’ – but I’ve seen 79 sonata sounds as if it is being
plus a bunch of younger musicians. That him a few times now in various settings parodied by Satie.
said, Hooper was a key musical part of the and never come away as enthused as eve- But I’m not complaining. There
Seeds, and the four who joined him were no ryone else seems to be. At the Roundhouse are dozens of meticulous cycles of
cabaret amateurs tempted by a quick buck I worked out why: it’s his voice, which is Beethoven’s New Testament of the
but obsessives who wanted everything to neither odd nor idiosyncratic enough to keyboard out there. Bellucci isn’t
be perfect. be a feature of its own (as Young’s is) nor the only pianist to play eccentric
This show was part of the 50th anniver- strong enough to carry the melody. The games with the music, but among the
sary celebrations for Ace Records, the great addition of his Wednesday bandmate Karly mavericks I can’t think of another
reissue label that did so much to bring old Hartzman leavened things a bit, but she’s whose technique is so formidable;
rock’n’roll and its descendants back into an indie singer, too, and indie-singing is he still has the chops to highlight
circulation (and which continues to recon- not in the same league as country-singing individual lines in the midst of
textualise old music with brilliant themed or soul-singing. polyphonic storms, and if the results
compilations). What’s more, this iteration At a certain point the singing stopped run counter to Beethoven’s markings
of the Seeds did sound great: Hooper’s eerie registering and all I could hear was a whin- – well, is it really a hanging offence?
organ still made ‘The Wind Blows Your ing teenage boy. I am doing him a disservice This one’s a keeper, then, albeit one
Hair’ beatifically creepy; Kopf’s howls at because that’s not who he is or what he is you might want to hide, along with
the end of each line of ‘Can’t Seem to Make singing about, but once the thought occurred, Glenn Gould’s Mozart piano sonatas,
You Mine’ were magnificent. there was no dislodging it. I might well be from your more fastidious music-
It is primitive stuff: the Seeds’s biggest the only person who feels this way about loving friends. — Damian Thompson
hit single, ‘Pushin’ Too Hard’, is two chords his voice.
the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 45

Arts_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 45 20/08/2025 09:59

 BOOKS & ARTS

Sensational: Sean
JOHAN PERSSON

Hayes as Oscar Levant

in Good Night, Oscar

the controllers of NBC who want to censor him curled up on the floor like a baby. He
Theatre his crazy humour. can’t drink a cup of coffee without stirring
Divine comedy The backstory is complicated. Oscar has it clockwise and anti-clockwise eight times.
been secretly committed to a mental asy- Although he’s treated as a star, he has
Lloyd Evans lum and his wife gets him released for a no illusions about his talent. ‘Underneath
this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of
Good Night, Oscar This is a rare and character,’ he says. And he finds comfort in
Barbican Theatre, until 21 September his mental health problems. ‘Schizophrenia
glorious kind beats dining alone.’
A Role To Die For of show Before the interview, he’s told by Bob, the
Marylebone Theatre, until 30 August network boss, that he mustn’t breathe a word
few hours so he can do an interview on Jack about religion, politics or sex. Sure enough,
Good Night, Oscar is a biographical play Paar’s TV show. It takes two long scenes to Oscar breaks these rules immediately. He
about Oscar Levant, a famous pianist who explain this improbable set-up but it’s worth says that a politician is ‘a man who will dou-
was also a noted wit and raconteur. The it because Oscar (Sean Hayes) is such a lov- ble-cross that bridge when he comes to it’.
script starts as a dead-safe comedy and it able character. He’s a total wreck, addicted And he expresses pity for Elizabeth Taylor
develops into a gripping battle between the to drugs, suffering from OCD, and afflicted who can’t find the right man to marry. ‘Poor
forces of anarchy, represented by Oscar, and by aural and visual hallucinations that leave Liz. Never the bridesmaid, always the bride.’
46 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

Arts_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 46 20/08/2025 09:59

 Then he oversteps the mark by mak- Then comes a bombshell. Theo’s future rialised. Somehow this didn’t dent our opti-
ing a coy reference to oral sex with Jayne spouse is called Luke. A gay Bond? That’s mism and we just carried on with one final
Mansfield. The show goes straight to an ad not going to work. Deborah and Malcolm wild fling of the millennium.
break and Bob threatens to pull the interview deal with fallout while Quinn has to break Miranda Sawyer, who hosts the podcast,
unless Oscar behaves himself. But that’s a the bad news to Theo. awakes your nostalgia with similar ease.
moral outrage. Oscar is loved because he The show, directed by Derek Bond, is I’d forgotten how much people cared about
dares to say the unsayable. great fun to watch and Tanya Franks has the things such as the rivalry between Oasis and
The impasse is resolved by an unexpect- time of her life playing the prickly and tyran- Blur. (The resurrection of the former and
ed angel of deliverance and the story takes nical Deborah. It's miles better than sitting obviously inferior band has contributed to
off in an unexpected direction. This is a rare through another 007 caper but, alas, that’s Nineties nostalgia this summer.) As Sawyer
and glorious kind of show. An easy-going not saying much. chatted to Ted Kessler, formerly of NME, I
comedy that has the guts to transcend its had a vivid memory of the feud playing out.
material and to gaze into the troubled heart The podcast is still in its infancy, with
of a creative genius. The visuals are fan- Podcasts three episodes released at the time of writing,
tastic. Rachel Hauck’s interiors are so gor- but it’s hitting the spot. Appetites for what
geous that you want to buy them. There Golden years the energetic Sawyer calls ‘the last nutty
are great performances from the entire Daisy Dunn pre-internet age’ have never been greater.
cast, especially Hayes who crowns the You can bet the episodes will find at least as
show by displaying his sensational gifts at many listeners among those born after 2000
the keyboard. Talk ’90s to Me; Floating Space as among those who knew the ecstasy-filled
A Role To Die For is a comedy about Apple, Spotify and various platforms years before.
007 that tackles an uncomfortable truth. The differences between then and now
Bond is boring. The movies lack suspense At some point during the past decade and become starkly apparent when listening
because the lead character has to survive a half, it was decided that the 1990s were a to Floating Space. The podcast is devised
every disaster and calamity. Bond is accom- golden age. While Britpop, New Labour and and presented by a 25-year-old Londoner
panied by three other characters, M, Q and acid house do not immediately evoke the named Katie Stokes to address the prob-
Moneypenny, whose presence is guaran- same spirit as, say, Versailles under Louis lems of isolation in the modern world. More
teed as well so it’s an ensemble piece with XIV or Augustan Rome, compared with what than 700,000 people in the capital admit-
storylines that feel as predictable as epi- followed they were certainly characteristic ted to suffering from severe loneliness last
sodes of EastEnders or The Magic Round- of something. year. The closure of facilities and the con-
about. You know the ending before the Members of Gen Z who have known only
movie begins. the colourless, anodyne first years of the new Appetites for what the energetic
Bond saunters through a series of car millennium speak of the Nineties in mystical
chases, explosions and other excitements tones. At a party last week, I found myself Sawyer calls ‘the last nutty pre-
while blasting live ammo at his enemies. holding court over some twentysomethings internet age’ have never been greater
Every shot fired by 007 is lethally accurate who’d discovered that I am a millennial.
and every shot aimed at him misses by a few ‘What was it really like?’ they asked, as if venience of the internet have played a part
inches. That’s lucky. And he performs these coming face-to-face with Shackleton or in hastening our withdrawal from public
heroics while dressed as a cocktail waiter Francis Drake. spaces. What humans need, says Stokes, is
from a 1920s Cunard liner – tuxedo, bow tie I had always supposed that I looked ‘a third place’.
and a spotless white shirt. He’s the dullest back on the Nineties with rose-tinted specs The concept comes from an American
serial killer ever created. And because the because it was the decade of my childhood. sociologist named Ray Oldenburg. Writing
movies are so stale, the real drama has shift- Listening to a new podcast Talk ’90s to Me, in 1989, he stressed that, away from home
ed to the casting of the next Bond. I am persuaded there is more to it; that the and work, we should seek a third place in
This is the starting point for Jordan 1990s are worthy of nostalgia and deserve the which to socialise and simply exist in the
Waller’s play which features a pair of war- envy of those who didn’t experience them. times between. The idea appeals to Stokes,
ring cousins, Deborah and Malcolm, who If you’re old enough to remember a truly who works remotely full-time and misses the
control the franchise. The script is full of great decade – the 1960s, for example – this ‘small-town’ network she knew growing up
cynical, knowing gags. Malcolm wants may well strike you as nuts. But just look at outside of London.
his druggie stepson to work as an associ- the streets today. Can you really blame the Wistful for something like Central Perk
ate on the new movie but Deborah rules young for idealising an era that has only just in Friends, that bastion of Nineties living,
him out because of his heroin problem. passed out of reach? she trials a different place each week. Will
‘He’s not an addict,’ says Malcolm. ‘He’s In the tantalising summary of Irvine the gym prove more sociable than online?
an enthusiast.’ Welsh – interviewed in the second episode Is there still a nightclub scene? Are private
They reach a decision and find a per- of the podcast – the Nineties was ‘that very members’ clubs as stuffy as assumed? The
fect English hunk, named Dave, to take interesting time in Britain when people just drawback to sampling one place per episode
on the role. But as soon as Dave’s identity started drinking in fields and factories’. If is that it provides each institution with an
is released he’s accused of molestation by you’ve read Trainspotting, you’ll know that opportunity for self-promotion. It is monoto-
a teenage girl. Throngs of protestors sur- he understood its dark side, too. But the pro- nous to have the manager of a club talk about
round Deborah’s office chanting: ‘No way, gramme made it sound like one endless, how his club is different from all other clubs.
paedo Dave.’ Deborah turns to her gay son, classless rave. Stokes is, though, balanced in her assess-
Quinn, to find a suitable replacement. Quinn According to Welsh, the 1990s actually ments and a conscientious host.
nominates a part-time actor, Theo Macken- began in 1987 or 1988 and were the prod- Her mission to reprise Oldenburg’s
zie, who holds a degree from Cambridge and uct of intuition of impending disaster. He advice is also admirable even if progress is
has a polished and intelligent manner. But likened us then to animals before a tsunami. difficult to achieve. By the end, I wondered
there are two ‘problems’ with Theo. He’s The spectre of the internet, big money, sell- if we wouldn’t all be better off shunning
black. And he’s about to get married which offs and a post-cultural world loomed before the gyms and clubs, and running, dancing,
will damage his status as a heartthrob. us: we were sentient to it all before it mate- for the fields.
the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 47

Arts_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 47 20/08/2025 09:59

 BOOKS & ARTS

ANDY ROSS
&KDUORWWD2IYHUKROPDVWKHROG(OL]DEHWKDQG+DUYH\/LWWOH¿HOGDVWKH\RXQJ(OL]DEHWKLQ6FRWWLVK%DOOHW¶V0DU\4XHHQRI6FRWV

financing comparable festivals in Salzburg barefoot in black suits, framed by a white

Opera & dance and Aix, and she’s been charged with ‘bring- box, its walls latterly smeared with blood-
Edinburgh round-up ing in younger audiences’ without antago- red graffiti. Lazy cliché, in other words,
nising the conservative loyalists. Both these albeit crisply directed and designed by
Rupert Christiansen challenges make it more difficult for her, Yaron Lifschitz.
and I don’t feel her programming has yet The musical execution, fortunately, was
Orpheus and Eurydice struck gold. a delight. As Orpheus, Iestyn Davies seemed
Edinburgh Playhouse The shortfall is most evident in opera – undaunted by the vast proportions of the
expensive and complicated to import, and in Playhouse and managed to project his beau-
LSO: Suor Angelica any case not a lot that’s any good is available tiful countertenor with stylish confidence
Usher Hall in August. But her immediate predecessor and rich variety of expression. Samantha
Fergus Linehan landed, among much else, Clarke doubled impressively as Eurydice
Mary, Queen of Scots Cecilia Bartoli in Norma and Asmik Grigo- and Amor, the chorus was enthusiastic and
Festival Theatre Laurence Cummings conducted the Scottish
Perhaps the kids will love it, Chamber Orchestra with muscular vigour. A
Ryan Wang full house responded with wild applause, but
The Queen's Hall
but if this is the future of ballet, the acrobats stole the show from the singers,
then count me out which didn’t seem right.
Edinburgh International Festival was estab- If staged opera is at a premium, the
lished to champion the civilising power of rian in Barrie Kosky’s production of Eugene Festival has a long and rich tradition of
European high culture in a spirit of post- Onegin. Certainly nothing of that quality was superb concert performances in the dear
war healing. But its lustre and mission on offer this (or last) year. old Usher Hall: Lorraine Hunt Lieberson
have now been largely eclipsed by the viral The one fully staged opera was Gluck’s in Les Troyens, the young Jonas Kaufmann
spread of its anarchic bastard offspring, Orpheus and Eurydice, sung in its Italian in Meistersinger, Maria Stuarda conduct-
the Fringe. In competition with the latter’s version and presented in that grim barn of a ed by Charles Mackerras, and the recent
potty-mouthed stand-ups and numberless theatre, the Edinburgh Playhouse. It received Ring cycle, are among many such in my
student hopefuls, the dignified old Festi- three performances, each lasting 80 min- personal treasury.
val proper struggles to make much mark utes. The cast consisted of two soloists and This year brought Puccini’s larmoyant
on the hordes who descend on the city in a chorus largely made up of students, com- one-act masterpiece Suor Angelica, an ador-
August, inflating prices and infuriating plemented by a troupe of Australian acro- able work but one not really suited to concert
the residents. bats who somersaulted over tables, dangled presentation. Set in a convent and climax-
Nicola Benedetti, a splendid woman and from ropes and formed towers and pyramids ing in a vision of the blessed Virgin Mary,
a wonderful violinist, is now in her third year of themselves. I was not convinced that it loses something of its emotional impact
directing this beleaguered institution. She their presence was anything but a distrac- when the drama is being conveyed by an
hasn’t at her disposal the generous budgets tion, but this was opera à la mode – the cast assortment of ladies in décolleté frocks and
48 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

Arts_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 48 20/08/2025 09:59

 extravagant coiffures lined up behind music and the cast is first-rate. As the airman
stands. But Antonio Pappano was on hand
Rain on me Tommy and his Highland lass Fiona, Louis
to conduct the London Symphony Orches- Richard Bratby Gaunt and Danielle Fiamanya are sunny,
tra in a reading of delicate sensitivity and confident leads, more than able to sell a
the glamorous Carolina Lopez Moreno sang Brigadoon melody even if (in classic operetta style) the
gorgeously and piteously as the eponymous Regent’s Park Open Air Theatre, secondary couple of Jeff (Cavan Clarke) and
nun with a guilty secret, so there was much until 20 September Meg (Nic Myers) tended to run away with
to jerk the tear ducts. Among the small- the show.
er roles, the veteran Elena Zilio gave an Tristan und Isolde Myers, in particular, is a knockout as
exemplary display of italianità, and Sarah Arcola Theatre the man-eating village minx, whether turn-
Dufresne sang prettily as perky Suor Geno- ing somersaults mid-song or dropping into a
vieffa. (You can hear a repeat performance The village of Brigadoon rises from the suggestive growl (‘Are ye even real?’) that’s
from the Proms, with the same cast, on Scotch mists once every 100 years, and somehow both sexy and irresistibly funny.
BBC Sounds.) revivals of Lerner and Loewe’s musical Meanwhile the orchestra swings (a touch
Dance has recently been the weak- are only slightly more frequent. The last of Glenn Miller in ‘Almost Like Being in
est feature of the Festival menu (except major London production closed in 1989; Love’), the trees of Regent’s Park supply the
when Brian MacMaster bagged Mark Mor- and if you know Brigadoon at all it’s prob- scenery, and the downpour which halted the
ris’s company in the 1990s) and I feel that ably through the lush 1954 movie. The new performance for 15 minutes on press night
Scottish Ballet’s 0DU\ 4XHHQ RI 6FRWV staging at Regent’s Park takes a very dif- only added to the fun. Go and see it, but take
smacks of desperation. Heavy on plot if ferent approach. The songs, the basic story a pac-a-mac.
not on historical fact (Bothwell is entirely and the heather (lots of it, pink and looking Over in Dalston, a shower would have
redacted), it opens with the dying Elizabeth only slightly artificial) are all still there, but been welcome at the tiny Arcola Theatre,
(Charlotta Ofverholm), presented as a crazy the director Rona Munro has rewritten the which lacks any noticeable ventilation or air
old crone dancing through a snowstorm in a book, backdating the action to the second conditioning. Three hours into Tristan und
bra and big knickers as she revisits a haunt- world war and turning Lerner and Loewe’s Isolde, with the mercury inching upwards,
ed past. In yet another white box (come on, American tourists into a pair of shot-down humidity at tropical levels and a full audi-
Soutra Gilmour, you can design better than bomber pilots. ence crammed into that airless black hole,
this), a mash-up of the familiar story unrolls It's a bold stroke, and it pays off. Briga- I definitely felt Tristan’s misery, but mostly
doon premièred in 1947 under the shadow
When all else fails, there is always of the war: escapism was what audiences The music swings, the park
needed and escapism was what it delivered.
the balm of the daily 11 a.m. Munro’s adaptation restores that context, so supplies the scenery and the
chamber concert at the Queen’s Hall instead of Broadway whimsy we get some- downpour only added to the fun
thing that feels more like Powell and Press-
to the accompaniment of a crude electron- burger – an undertow of tragedy against because I was poaching in my own sweat.
ic score I can only describe as my idea of which the show’s mysticism and hope glows For much of the opera, the unfortunate cast
aural hell. all the more poignantly. The fate of these were wearing long formal gowns or trench
Mary, with a garçon haircut, makes oddly characters genuinely does feel like a matter coats. It’s difficult enough to sing Tristan
little impression in Roseanna Leney’s pal- of life and death, and as with Regent’s Park’s under normal conditions. On this occasion
lid performance, but then she hasn’t been superb Fiddler on the Roof, songs, story and you worried that the performers might actu-
given anything very characterful to dance exuberantly inventive dance routines com- ally pass out.
– Sophie Laplane’s choreography is brutal- bine to create an experience that’s deeper and What was clear, nonetheless was that the
ly ugly and sexualised, all kicks and thrusts, richer than you could have imagined. Tristan (Brian Smith Walters) has a chis-
much more convincing on the men than the Not everything works. Lerner and Loewe elled, textured tenor, that the Isolde (Eliza-
women. Evan Loudon is rather good as devi- seem to have done their research from beth Findon) had huge reserves of luminous
ous Darnley, as is Javier Andreu as his boy- shortbread tins, and the new production tone as well as an intense capacity for pathos
friend Rizzio – even if I kept muddling him overcompensates. It opens with live bagpip- and that this Kurwenal (Oliver Gibbs),
up with Thomas Edwards’s Walsingham. ers; elsewhere, a Broadway fantasy of the Brangäne (Lauren Easton) and (particularly)
And who on earth was this bizarre gender- Highlands is replaced with a 21st-century King Marke (Simon Wilding) all had plen-
fluid popinjay, dressed to evoke a Nicholas Londoner’s equivalent – tastefully washed- ty to offer in these roles, if only the direc-
Hilliard miniature, walking on tippity toes out tartan, tourist-board Gaelic and a new- tor (Guido Martin-Brandis) had given them
with a stuffed dog on a leash? On consult- agey wise woman. There’s a startling lurch more than the absolute basics to work with.
ing the programme, he-she turns out to be in tone as one character turns rogue and The sets were crude; and while the conductor
the young Elizabeth, danced with aplomb by is hunted by a torch-wielding mob (part of (Michael Thrift) clearly has sound Wagne-
Harvey Littlefield. me hoped that Munro was about to go full rian instincts, his chamber-sized orchestra-
It is all incoherently pretentious and over- Wicker Man, which would certainly have tion included a piano – an instrument that
emphatic, crucially lacking in any sense of been a stark reinvention). And ‘The Heath- should never come within 100 miles of a
what dance can and cannot communicate. er on the Hill’, which in the movie supplies Wagner orchestra.
Perhaps the kids will love it, but if this is the the pretext for a particularly dreamy ballet, This Grimeborn project was clearly
future of ballet, then count me out. gets a simple once-through. In a revival as well meant, but scaled-down Wagner is
Still when all else in the Festival fails, dance-driven as this, that felt like a missed no longer unusual, and its justification (as
there is always the balm of the daily 11 a.m. opportunity, if only because it really is such with the recent Regents Opera Ring and
chamber concert at the Queen’s Hall to bring an incredibly lovely song. Grimeborn’s own Covid-era Ring cycle) has
restorative joy. I heard the Old Etonian and But no production can do everything to be its greater intimacy: productions that
BBC Young Musician of the Year Ryan Wang and it’s never a bad idea to leave us want- open new and otherwise unobtainable per-
playing Chopin: unadulterated great music, ing more. This is a better Brigadoon than spectives on the drama. It needs to be reim-
delivered with wonderful elegance and most of us could ever have hoped to see; it’s agined, and not simply shrunk. Or in this
panache, provided two hours of serious bliss. intelligent, moving and hugely entertaining, case, dehydrated.
the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 49

Arts_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 49 20/08/2025 09:59

 NOTES ON...

Bank holidays
By Mark Mason

W
hy are you enjoying a bank hol- When he fed the ants tiny drops of alcohol,
iday this month, as opposed to the sober ones carried the drunk ones home.
a ‘general’ or ‘national’ holi- If anyone was going to support the crea-
day? It’s because the man who invented tion of another bank holiday to commemo-
them knew that employers might be tempt- rate success by a group of people called the
ed to ignore titles which were vague. But if Lionesses, it would have been Lubbock. Keir
the banks were forced to close, trade would Starmer rejected such calls after the Eng-
become impossible. land women’s football team won Euro 2025,
That man was the Liberal MP Sir John despite having demanded one (in opposi-
Lubbock, one of those 19th-century figures tion) if they had won the 2023 World Cup.
who sound as though they were invented them home on the train to Kent. During the The first four holidays created by Lub-
by Michael Palin. He had three sisters and journey they nibbled through their sack and bock’s 1871 act were Easter Monday, Whit
seven brothers, two of the latter playing for scared the other passengers, so Lubbock Monday, the first Monday in August and
Old Etonians in the 1875 FA Cup final. Sir locked them in his briefcase. On arriving Boxing Day. The Tory leader Benjamin
John was a friend of Charles Darwin – such home, he discovered they’d eaten his parlia- Disraeli argued against the legislation, say-
a good friend, indeed, that when the natural- mentary papers. ing it would affect firms’ profits, but workers
ist became depressed, Lubbock was the only The thief who stole another of Lubbock’s were understandably keen. One wrote to the
visitor allowed to see him. Lubbock helped briefcases got rid of it pretty smartish when press under the pseudonym Brad Awl.
with the illustrations for Darwin’s book on he found it contained bees. The MP kept a Thankfully Lubbock was long gone by
barnacles, coined the terms ‘Palaeolith- hive in his sitting room so he could observe the time his former home burned down in
ic’ and ‘Neolithic’, and conducted his own the insects, preventing them escaping into 1967 – with a cruel irony, it happened on
experiments with animals. The experiments other rooms by constructing a tunnel from the August bank holiday. He had enjoyed
were, shall we say, different. the hive’s entrance to an open window. He the praise of a grateful nation during his
His black terrier Van was taught to com- even attempted to tame 12 of them, paint- lifetime. One newspaper argued that, given
municate his desires by fetching cards ing the chosen bees green for identification Lubbock’s support for the theory of evolu-
labelled ‘Food’, ‘Bone’, ‘Water’, ‘Out’ (for purposes. Colour coding also helped him tion, he should be honoured with a solid sil-
a walk) and ‘Tea’ (for when water wouldn’t differentiate his ants, which shared the sit- ver statue of a monkey. Meanwhile in Amer-
suffice). But just having a dog wasn’t enough ting room. Lubbock gave them names, intro- ica a magazine reported: ‘Sir John Lubbock
for Lubbock. He wanted other pets. Buying ducing them to his friends such as Randolph greatly enjoys his bank holidays, and so do
a pair of ferrets in London one day, he took Churchill and the Archbishop of Canterbury. his sisters, and his cousins, and his ants.’

SPEECH WRITING FINE FOOD

SPEECH LOOMING. RELAX,
WE’LL WRITE IT FOR YOU!
You’re due to speak/present at a
wedding/event. Don’t worry – call
Lawrence & team on 0207 118 1600 or
[Link]
MADE TO ORDER

Award winning
ARTISAN
BRITISH
FOOD,
DELIVERED
TO YOUR
[Link]/shop DOOR

Free Spectator
newsletters, visit
[Link]
/newsletters [Link]

50 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

CLASSIFIEDS_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 50 20/08/2025 10:24

 CLASSIFIEDS
Travel & Mobility

TRAVEL

WHEREVER AND WHENEVER,

TRUST TRAILFINDERS TO
TAKE CARE OF YOU...

AWARD WINNING SERVICE

INDEPENDENT TRUSTED TRAVEL ADVICE
UNRIVALLED CARE & PROTECTION
NO SURCHARGES OR HIDDEN EXTRAS

ALL YOUR TRAVEL ARRANGEMENTS TAKEN CARE OF IN ONE PLACE

Call TRAILFINDERS on 020 7938 0250,
or visit your local Trailfinders Travel Centre

FRANCE & ITALY MOBILITY

Advertise in The Spectator classified, email fsloan@[Link] or call 07971 086438

the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 51

CLASSIFIEDS_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 51 20/08/2025 10:24

 CLASSIFIEDS
General

READING AIDS

Tired eyes as the evenings draw in? Light engine

Simulated high

Reduce eyestrain instantly. definition natural

light. Guaranteed
for 5 years.
If you wear glasses or are increasingly frustrated by blurred vision, better light will
transform your view. Your optician will confirm. This is because everything you see Beam angle
is light. Better light gives your eyes more of a fighting chance. It is why we have adjustment wheel
spent nearly 40 years building the best lights we possibly can. Others cut corners. Intuitive beam
Fall back in love with detail. adjustment
offers beam
A Serious Light has one job; to help you see detail and colour as clearly as you possibly personalisation.
can when you need it the most. We use specialist technology to mimic the natural
light spectrum, bringing out the finer details in everything you see. Dimmer wheel
Building every light takes 224 specifically designed individual components. Manufacturing Allows you to
the hi-tech parts employs 24 different machines in 5 different countries. Each light build involves 85 precisely adjust
assembly engineers and technicians working in 82 different workstations. This is no ordinary light. the light
output.
O Up to TWELVE TIMES more light on
your page than a traditional 60W bulb HD Floor Light HD Table Light HALF PRICE
Was £449.99 Was £399.99 when buying
O Words are crisp and clear Now Now any HD Light.
O Recommended by over 500 opticians £224.99 £199.99 Quote offer code
O 9964 at checkout
Available as a Floor or Table Light Plus FREE Delivery worth £12.95 or when calling.
O Designed and made in Britain available at checkout While stocks last.

For Advice. For a Brochure. To Order:

First and only light to 2025

make a real difference.

Trusted
Platinum
Merchant
0800 085 1088
Mr White | Warwickshire 4.9/5 (11,127 Reviews)
[Link]/9964

DRINK DATING

'(/,&,286 5()5(6+,1*
Ʊ+HDUWLO\WUDGLWLRQDODWLWVFRUH
DIODYRXUVRPHFDPHRRI
ELWWHUVZHHWFLWUXV HOGHUIORZHU
ZLWKGHSWKRIFKDUDFWHUIURP
VZHHWIHQQHOVHHGVFDVVLDDQG
KHUEDFHRXVED\Ʋ

52 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

CLASSIFIEDS_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 52 20/08/2025 10:24

 CLASSIFIEDS
Fine Clothing

FINE CLOTHING

READERS SPECIAL OFFER

Brick
100% COTTON

FLAT FRONT
Sand
CHINOS
£55 SAVE £10
only
buy 2 for £100
Green

NEW
Black
Our pure cotton chinos are cut with no pleats, giving
a flatter, slimmer profile; they are the perfect everyday,
year round trouser. So versatile, they go from smart to
Stone casual in the change of a shoe. Plus the clever expanding
waistband gives you an extra two inches of comfort.
- 100% cotton - French bearer fly front
- 2 buttoned hip and 2 deep side pockets
- Hidden, expanding comfort waistband
allows for 2" of flexibility
Royal Blue - No Quibble Money Back Guarantee**

Waist: 32 34 36 38 40 42 44 46 48 50 52"
Leg: 28 30 32 34"
Colours: Brick, Sand, Green, TO GET
NEW Black, Stone, Royal Blue,
Mustard, Tan, Sky, Navy FREE
Mustard DELIVERY *
& RETURNS**
“I just keep buying these Enter
chinos, super comfortable 46X34
and a great fit.” Paul, Herefordshire at checkout
Tan

RATED EXCELLENT

Order Flat Front Chinos (MT22)

Sky Use code 46X34 for FREE P&P
MT22
Brick
[Link]
Call us 01273 493 393 Weekdays 9-5pm
Weekends 10-3pm

Navy Order by post – Cheques payable to Peter Christian.

Quote 46X34 and send to: Freepost PETER CHRISTIAN

Go Online or Call for a Free Catalogue

Ύ&ƌĞĞh<ĚĞůŝǀĞƌLJ;ŶŽƌŵĂůůLJάϱͿ͘KīĞƌĞŶĚƐŵŝĚŶŝŐŚƚϮϯͬϭϬͬϮϱ͘άϱϱDŝŶŝŵƵŵƐƉĞŶĚ
ĂƉƉůŝĞƐ͘dŚŝƐŽīĞƌŵĂLJŶŽƚďĞƵƐĞĚŝŶĐŽŶũƵŶĐƟŽŶǁŝƚŚĂŶLJŽƚŚĞƌŽīĞƌ͘ΎΎ&ƌĞĞƌĞƚƵƌŶƐǁŝƚŚŝŶ
ƚŚĞh<ŽŶůLJĂŶĚƐƵďũĞĐƚƚŽŝƚĞŵƐďĞŝŶŐŝŶƉĞƌĨĞĐƚĐŽŶĚŝƟŽŶ͕ŝŶƚŚĞŝƌŽƌŝŐŝŶĂůƉĂĐŬĂŐŝŶŐĂŶĚ
ƌĞƚƵƌŶĞĚǁŝƚŚŝŶϯϬĚĂLJƐ͘ŝǀŝƐŝŽŶŽĨ,ŝůůƐŽĨƌĂŵůĞLJ>ƚĚ͘ŽZĞŐEŽϬϰϳϲϳϴϬϮ

the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 53

CLASSIFIEDS_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 53 20/08/2025 12:38

 presents

Michael Heath’s
90th birthday dinner
with Pol Roger

Thursday 16 October, 6.30pm

The Library, 6 Old Queen Street, London
Ticket price £250

0LFKDHO+HDWK%ULWDLQ¶V¿QHVWHYHUFDUWRRQLVW
DQGFDUWRRQHGLWRURIThe Spectator, is 90
WKLV2FWREHU

7RFHOHEUDWHZH¶GOLNH\RXWRMRLQXVIRU
GLQQHUDQGUDLVHDJODVV±RUWZR±WRWKH
PDQZKRKDVGUDZQIRUWKHVHSDJHVIRU
PRUHWKDQ\HDUV

$ORQJZLWKSOHQW\RIFKLOOHGFKDPSDJQH
DQGRWKHU¿QHZLQHVIURP3RO5RJHU
LQWURGXFHGE\-DPHV6LPSVRQ0:
DOORI0LFKDHO¶VRULJLQDO3RO5RJHU
FDUWRRQVZLOOEHRQGLVSOD\GXULQJ
WKHHYHQLQJ

7RERRNYLVLW
[Link]/tastings

04_Heath-90th-dinner_Jul25_V4.indd 1 04/08/2025 09:50

ADVERT - Spectator Heath Party_09 Aug 2025_The [Link] 52 05/08/2025 15:47
 To be honest, if Elon Musk invaded
Poland I’d probably move there.
— Rory Sutherland, p61

hidden from the village behind a floodbank. and Giuseppe, ten, to do the shopping. ‘Mi
Dolce vita The scene on the other side was like a medi- scusi,’ said a wheedling male voice. ‘Can
Nicholas Farrell eval battlefield. There were at least half a you help me buy baby milk powder for my
dozen bonfires on the mile-long beach and three-month-old daughter?’
everywhere there were bleached white tree I turned my head to look at the source of
trunks of all shapes and sizes, hurled by the the voice. He was nicely tanned, shortish and
winter sea on to dry land, many now plant- slim, with gold-rimmed glasses, immaculate
ed in the sand to form primitive structures. jet-black goatee beard, slicked-back Hol-
To have put a stop to such an act of collec- lywood idol hair, mustard-yellow bermuda
tive rebellion would have required a far more shorts and a snazzy polo shirt. He looked as
serious police presence than two squad cars. if he had just come ashore from a yacht.
‘We’re the third bonfire along,’ Francesco I had no change but was intrigued. He
Dante’s Beach, Ravenna Winston had told me. I stumbled along the was a 38-year-old Romanian who had been
The Feast of the Assumption began for me edge of the calm sea where the sand was firm in Italy for 18 years. His name was Gheorghe
just after midnight with a WhatsApp mes- until he and Caterina came into view to guide and he was a builder due to start a new job
sage from my eldest son, Francesco Winston, me to their party, where I sat down on a large at the end of the month. But he had run out
20, which said: ‘Papà don’t come, the police tree trunk in the dunes. There were about 40 of money and now had to beg, and this was
are everywhere.’ people gathered around the fire and during his first day. One man he accosted barked:
He and my eldest daughter, Caterina, 21, the four hours I was there I neither saw or ‘Show me your hands!’ He did. ‘You haven’t
had invited me to a party on the beach organ- sensed violence. Nor was there even much done a day’s work in your life!’ said the man
ised by their group of friends to mark Fer- shouting, just the excited voices of young triumphantly and marched off. Gheorghe
ragosto, the most important day of summer. people talking, interspersed with bouts of looked at his hands in search of a reply.
There would be a bonfire and sausages, booze acoustic guitar and singing. Once, a young I asked him how much he needed to buy
and guitars, and all the rest of it, until the man who was drunk staggered towards me the powdered milk. ‘Mellin 1 is €17.10 here,
blood-red sun emerged out of the sea at about and my tree trunk vantage point and said: €25 in the chemist.’ I checked on my phone.
6 a.m. to bring it to an end. ‘Who the fuck are you?’ But before I could It was true. I asked him how much he had
I cannot remember the last time I went to answer he said: ‘Ah yes, Caterina’s dad.’ raised so far. ‘€7.50,’ he said. Sod it. When
a party. I avoid small talk if possible and am Then he staggered off. It was the closest I my boys returned, I told them to change a €50
currently not drinking. So I was not exactly came to a conversation. note in the bar next door and gave him €10.
an ideal party guest. But I was curious to see Every now and again couples would dis- ‘God bless you,’ he said. ‘You’re mad,’ said
the new young in action. appear into the dunes as they do. It reminded Giovanni-Maria. ‘So what?’ I replied.
In Italy, it is against the law to start fires me of when I was their age in the deep south We arrived at the church a bit late and my
on the beach and where we are it is even an of Italy and fell in love for the first time and wife was already there with Magdalena, 17,
offence to be on the beach between 1 a.m. how it ended in tragedy when I said I did and Rita, 16. As I sat down, she made the
not want our child and she had an abortion. sign of the cross at me, as she often does.
The huge, shimmering sun It had only just become legal in a country
where today nearly 70 per cent of gynaecol-
rose up out of the sea, a ogists refuse to do it. I feel it was murder, Real life
wondrous way to end a party though did not at the time. It ruined her life.
I saw two shooting stars and above our Melissa Kite
and 5 a.m., punishable by a fine of up to gas rig, which is a mile offshore and lit up
€500 (£432). The fine for sex on the beach, like a temple, I saw what I was able to identi-
meanwhile, is €10,000 (£8,630). fy using my phone as Venus and Jupiter, very
The police, Francesco Winston explained close to one another and very bright. With
on WhatsApp, were stopping people getting the arrival of dawn, the faces of those around
to the beach. But I am a bit of an expert on me became visible for the first time, as did
the behavioural patterns of the various types the beach, which was carpeted with enough
of police in Italy. So I remained at my desk in driftwood to fuel a thousand bonfires.
what is called my study, in front of its large Then the huge, shimmering sun rose The woman pushing a wheelchair was caus-
window from where I could see the lights of up out of the sea, a wondrous way to end ing such a rumpus in the supermarket that
the village a mile away across the fields, and a party, and it was time for bed. I emerged whichever aisle I was in I could still hear
waited. Sure enough, about half an hour later, that evening for mass in celebration of the her shouting.
I saw two sets of flashing blue lights mov- ascension of the Virgin Mary ‘body and soul’ She was an Englishwoman abroad if ever
ing slowly out of the village inland towards into heaven, but first I had to go to Lidl. I I saw one. Resplendent in sleeveless vest and
Ravenna through the hot velvet night. parked the Defender in the mums-with-chil- leggings, she was pushing her adult daughter
I hauled myself into the Land Rover dren space outside the entrance and sent in around an Irish supermarket as a friend or
Defender and drove to the beach, which is my two youngest sons, Giovanni-Maria, 13, family member pushed their trolley, and she
the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 55

Life_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 55 20/08/2025 11:33

 LIFE

was making sure that as many people as pos- one else that they’re parked incorrectly. The
sible were aware of her. unanimous view is, if you can get something
Bridge
She was shouting so much, about every- extra then good luck to you, and if every- Susanna Gross
thing, that nobody was taking the slightest one can fiddle the system, so much the better.
notice, and she became the soundtrack of the This is particularly true of the deep south.
shop, an integral background kerfuffle. I heard recently of a parking warden visit- Of all the mistakes we make in defence,
She shouted at the crisp shelves, she ing the nearest market town to us and ticket- few are more embarrassing than revok-
shouted at the frozen pea compartment, she ing a few cars pulled up haphazardly outside ing. Everyone’s done it: a sudden brain blip
shouted in the shampoo and shower gel aisle. shops, but after the locals finished with him, convinces us we’re out of the suit that’s been
It wasn’t clear exactly what she was shout- he never returned. led, and we discard from another.
ing at or for. She made so much noise that You could park your car in the middle If only we were allowed to pick up the
the entire supermarket reverberated with it, of the main road all day in West Cork and card, apologise and play on. But that never
but the noise was all in such a strong estuary no one would complain. No one has once happens, not in a tournament. Declarer
accent that even if the staff had wanted to beeped their horn at me in the two years knows his rights; he smells blood. He calls
help her with her inquiries, they would have since I moved here, to give you some idea the director. The revoke card is now a pen-
struggled to understand. how laidback they are. alty card. It must lie face-up, like a naughty
As it was, they only intervened when she Not realising this, the English woman schoolchild separated from his friends, to
was flinging things off shelves and disman- let rip as the Irish woman got out of her car, be played at the first opportunity – even if it
tling displays of discounted homewares, and which did not seem to have a blue badge. gives declarer the contract.
then only to replace fallen items and tidy ‘My daughter can’t walk and now we can’t There’s no mercy, and never any upside.
piles of fallen packets. get the car doors open to get her in cos you’ve At least, I thought there wasn’t, until I got
Neatly dressed Irish people – for the Irish parked next to us!’ this text from my friend Sebastian Atis-
dress up nicely to go shopping – went about Whereupon her daughter, like Andy Pip- en: ‘Have you ever gained three tricks for
their business as the be-vested Brit rampaged kin in the Little Britain sketch, got up out of YOUR side after making a revoke?’ Surely
through the aisles yelling. her wheelchair and walked to the passenger not! But yes – the hand comes from a recent
Her daughter, aged in her late teens or side of the car, which was unimpeded, swung European pairs championship.
early twenties, was slurping from a can of wide the door and got in.
Red Bull as her mother pushed her round, While doing this, she deftly grabbed a bag Dealer South Neither vulnerable
and seemed oblivious to whatever she was of crisps from the shopping bags, chucked
cross or happy about. the can of Red Bull asunder, and sat in the z Q 10
I did my weekly shop without once car tucking into the crisps. y A 10
understanding a single sentence she yelled, It was as she enthusiastically crunched her XA 5 4 3
crisps that an elderly man began very slowly w A Q 10 7 6
Neatly dressed Irish people went to get out of the passenger side of the Irish car
to reveal that he wore a leg brace. He hobbled zK6 4 z J 8 5 3 2
about their business as the be-vested to the curb, dragging one leg, revealing that y96 5 N
y J 8 2
Brit rampaged through the aisles one arm also hung limp and inert, and waited W E
X J 10 9 6 2 S XKQ
for his wife to help him.
wJ 4 w83 2
and even when I was right next to her I could The Irish couple then continued towards
not make out what on earth she was either the shop doors with absolute dignity. But the z A9 7
angry or happy about. They were ahead of English woman continued to shout abuse at y KQ 7 4 3
me in the queue, the mother still shouting in them, even though it was now clear that the X8 7
a ceaseless monologue, and they began to poor man was crippled. wK 9 5
leave before I had finished checking out. This was when the Irish lady finally
As I unloaded my shopping, I heard her tipped over her West Cork edge, and turned West North East South
screaming something unintelligible at the back and walked up to the English woman, 1y
cashier about something she either didn’t and she let rip with the best the rebel county Pass 2w Pass 2y
like or liked a lot, and then as I started pack- could offer, shouting into her face a diatribe Pass 2NT Pass 3NT
ing, they disappeared through the doors in a made up of the sorts of things we Brits are All pass
blaze of shouting. not allowed to say to each other any more,
I thought no more about it, but when I and so no longer expect to hear, and it went
pushed my trolley outside a more intelligible like this: ‘Shut your fecking mouth! Your Sebastian (East) led a spade. West won
commotion had begun. A woman had pulled daughter’s disabled is she? Look at the size with the ƄK and returned the ƇJ. Declarer
into the last remaining disabled parking space of her! And you’ve just taken her in that played the ƇA, and Sebastian followed with
by the door, and the English woman, pushing supermarket and bought her more food!’ a deceptive ƇQ. Next declarer played a spade
her daughter, had stopped by her car in the And with that, she left the English woman to the ƄQ, a club to dummy’s ƅK, and the
other disabled space and was shouting: ‘You standing there with her mouth open, just ƄA. In a mad moment, West discarded the
wanna be ashamed of yerself! There’s people for a few seconds dumbfounded, before she Ƈ 2. ‘No more spades?’ asked Sebastian.
need them spaces! I’ve got a disabled daugh- recovered enough to say in a very shaky voice: Too late: the director was called, and the
ter I ’ave!’ ‘I ain’t ’avin’ that! I’m gonna complain! I’m Ƈ2 became an exposed card. As it happens,
It appeared that even though she had a getting the manager! I want the manager! declarer had the rest of the tricks. But he
space, she was very much focused on polic- But manager came there none. She looked couldn’t be sure, and the exposed 2Ƈ looked
ing the space next to it, and it occurred to me around the car park, and she walked towards so enticing. Time to take advantage. East’s
that this was a very English thing to do. While the shop doors gesticulating. If she was wait- ƇQ was surely a singleton, so West must have
the locals here are undoubtedly interested in ing for someone to come out and offer her started with ƇKJ10962. Declarer confidently
everyone’s business, they tend not to censure a complimentary 12-pack of Red Bull by way played the Ƈ8. West (perforce) played the Ƈ2.
each other as the authorities might. No one of apology, then she was going to be standing Sebastian won with the ƇK and cashed two
Irish would dream of pointing out to any- there for a very long time. more spades!
56 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

Life_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 56 20/08/2025 11:33

 THE VINTAGE CHEF |OLIVIA POTTS

Brown Betty

T
he double-edged sword of eating with But sometimes, after the ninth crumble in ble, and the layering means that the bread-
the seasons is the glut. A blunt, un- a row, I’m looking for novelty. And where crumbs and cooked fruit meld together,
pretty word, which is a joy in theo- we have the humble crumble, America have each enhancing the other.
ry and delicious in result, but which can feel so many free-form fruit puddings that they Apple is the most common filling and
daunting when you’re facing down a bench require their own taxonomy. what I have used here. But the first Brown
full of berries to be picked over, or countless They have crisps, which are almost indis- Betty I made was with rhubarb, and I’m plan-
apples to be processed. tinguishable from our crumbles. Then there ning to use up the last of our blackberries in
My husband and I were once given an are cobblers, which use biscuit (or scone) one this weekend. Really, any fruit which
apple tree as a present. It’s a multi-graft, batter, dolloped across the top of the fruit, softens as it cooks is fair game. You can swap
meaning each of the three branches produces then baked in the oven until golden and firm in 600g prepared weight (stoned or peeled
a different type of apple: russets, for storing, and cobbled. Or slumps and grunts, which and cored) of any fruit which will cook down.
bramleys, for cooking, and tart eating apples. My Brown Betty uses light brown sugar,
This is the first year that it’s thrown up more It’s a little lighter than a crumble, and which gives an edge of caramelisation, and
than three measly apples. Well, it’s made up brioche crumbs, which are not traditional,
for lost time; we are, to put it mildly, drown- the layering means the breadcrumbs but their richness is welcome against the tart
ing in apples. and cooked fruit meld together apple. In fact, some recipes use cake crumbs
I’m always on the hunt for new and deli- in place of bread. Whether you’re using
cious ways to use up this bounty. It’s impos- uses a similar batter to the cobbler but cooks bread, brioche or cake, the crumbs should be
sible, of course, to make your way through on the hob, so that while it simmers the fruit staled in advance, to prevent them becoming
so much ripe fruit before it goes bad. A small sounds like it’s grunting, and when served it claggy when mixed with the butter: I simply
proportion of it is eaten fresh, often before it tends to slump across the plate. slice it and leave the cut sides exposed.
even makes it inside the house, and some of A buckle also takes its name from its Traditionally, a Brown Betty is served
my fruit ends up in jams, or is stewed into appearance: very wet cake batter is poured with hard sauce – the same as our brandy
compotes. However, much of it is portioned over lots of fruit; the amount of fruit, com- butter. But if you’d like to make your own,
and frozen, with an eye to the future. What bined with the wetness of the batter, means the or use bourbon or rum in place of the bran-
to do with frozen fruits that won’t make my top ‘buckles’ as it bakes. Then there’s a sonk- dy, beat together 150g softened butter with
family roll their eyes at the repetition? er, from North Carolina, which covers the 75g icing sugar, and slowly add four table-
Don’t get me wrong: I love a crumble. fruit in a pancake-like batter; it always makes spoons of brandy, rum or whisky, one at a
It’s the combination of bubbling, syrupy, soft me think of a clafoutis. Or there’s the charm- time, until combined.
fruit giving up their juices, flavours becom- ingly named pandowdy, which has a broken
ing more complex, more perfumed – honey- pastry topping, patchworked across the top. To sign up for Olivia Potts’s newsletter,
ed, floral, earthy – under the application of But my favourite is the Brown Betty, which brings together the best of
heat, topped with sweet, salty, oaty, crunchy which layers fruit with buttery, sweetened The Spectator’s food and drink writing,
crumble, all without the faff of making a pie. breadcrumbs. It’s a little lighter than a crum- go to [Link]/oliviapotts

Serves: 4 breadcrumbs, followed by the light

Hands-on time: 10 minutes brown sugar and nutmeg.
Cooking time: 50 minutes 5. Sprinkle a third of the breadcrumb
mixture over the bottom of an oven-
– 10 tart apples safe dish, about 9in in diameter. Layer
– 175g brioche, stale – 100g butter half of the apple chunks on top of the
– 100g light brown sugar crumbs, followed by another third of
– ½ tsp nutmeg, finely grated the crumb mixture, and the second
– 2 tbsp demerara sugar half of the apple pieces. Sprinkle the
final crumbs on top and scatter the
1. Preheat the oven to 160°C. demerara sugar evenly across them.
2. Peel, core and slice the apples into 6. Cover with tin foil, tenting so it
inch-sized chunks. doesn’t touch the top of the pudding.
3. In a food processor or by hand, Bake for 40 minutes, then remove the
process the brioche into breadcrumbs. foil and bake for a further ten minutes.
SARAH TIMS

4. Melt the butter and stir it through the Serve hot, ideally with hard sauce.

the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 57

Olivia Potts_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 57 20/08/2025 11:41

 LIFE

Chess Competition
LLM chess Category error
Luke McShane Victoria Lane
The life cycle of Drosophila melanogaster lasts Black to play, position after 16 exd6+ Comp. 3413 was prompted by J.G. Ballard’s
a couple of weeks, so the humble fruit fly is far story ‘The Assassination of John Fitzgerald
more useful than a giant tortoise to a geneticist rdwdwdw4 Kennedy Considered as a Downhill Motor
with a hypothesis and a deadline. Similarly, for AI Race’ (itself inspired by Alfred Jarry’s ‘The
researchers, chess has long been a useful testbed dw1nip0p Crucifixion Considered as an Uphill Bicycle
because it has clear rules but unfathomable depth.
And yet there is an incongruity. Compared with
pdw)wdwd Race’). You were invited to consider some
event in a category to which it did not belong.
the breakneck development of computing, the dpdpdwdw It was harder than ever to choose winners;
game of chess remains reassuringly dependable,
while the thing we see evolving in real time is AI
wdwHw)Pd Adrian Fry, Bill Greenwell, Paul Freeman,
Martin Brown, Sue Pickard, J.S.R. Fleckney,
itself. Not long after ChatGPT was first released, dwdwdBdw Nicholas Stone and Sylvia Fairley are a few of
late in 2022, some people had fun making it play
chess. Stockfish is the leanest, meanest chess P)Pdwdw) the runners-up. The prizes go to those below.
engine there is, the apotheosis of decades of
incremental improvement in one narrow niche.
dwIRdwdR The Big Bang considered as a TV baking challenge
The initial cosmic oven temperature was unbeliev-
ChatGPT may be an apex predator in its own ably high. Whoever was responsible for turning it
ecosystem, but pitting it against Stockfish is like on should have read the thermodynamic instruc-
watching a floundering lion fight a shark. The LLMs are sometimes described as ‘auto-
tions with more care. The particle dishes eventually
cascade of elementary blunders and illegal moves complete on steroids’. Their output has a veneer
cooled down, while the all-seeing Judge oversaw
from ChatGPT showed its limitations. of coherence, but after some probing it becomes
the creative aspects of the show to ensure things
In AI terms, 2022 was aeons ago. Artificial clear that their ‘mental model’ of the world is were co-ordinated. The three challenges were: a
intelligence continues to improve in leaps and deficient, as when people discovered that some signature volcanic bake to test creativity; a techni-
bounds, notwithstanding the uneven reception of gave incorrect answers when asked how many cal bake which took skill and talent, especially with
the new GPT-5 earlier this month. ChatGPT faces r’s are in the word ‘strawberry’. (Though dark matter ingredients; and finally a showstopper
fierce competition from other large language current models cope fine when I tested this.) So with fruity neutron bombes. Two would-be stars
models (LLMs), including Claude, Gemini, Grok, in LLM chess, the opening often makes sense, were eliminated due to a surfeit of black holes in
DeepSeek and Kimi. Some excel at coding, while presumably because it is regurgitated, but their sponges, while another lost out during desert
serious errors show up later on. Nevertheless week. Sadly, the baked Alaska dish was not received
others will ace your homework essay. Researchers
these games look like a huge step forward well. In the later stages, the fundamental forces of
who wish to compare the strengths of these
compared with a couple of years ago. the strong and weak came to the fore. Various quirks
models have devised various benchmarks, rather and quarks combined to form exciting new recipes.
like giving an SAT test to a chatbot. But why not The following game was played in the final,
in which OpenAI’s o3 model defeated Grok 4, Uplifting, like gravity.
use chess skill as a new form of standardised test? John O’Byrne
Kaggle is an established online platform for developed by Musk’s xAI.
data science competitions, owned by Google. The Anne Boleyn’s death as an RHS seminar
OpenAI o3-Grok 4
Kaggle Game Arena, where LLMs can compete Tower Green today hosted an RHS seminar on the
Kaggle Game Arena Exhibition Tournament,
using various games as a benchmark, is an early dead-heading of tender young blooms judged
August 2025
innovation. To mark its launch, they organised a to have become expendable following their exces-
three-day exhibition chess tournament between 1 e4 c5 2 Nf3 d6 3 d4 cxd4 4 Nxd4 Nf6 sive and unsuitable cross-pollination.
the top LLMs. Let’s be clear – LLMs are out of 5 Nc3 a6 6 Bg5 e6 7 f4 Be7 8 Qf3 Qc7 The event culminated in a dramatic demonstration
their depth and, for the time being, the quality of 9 O-O-O Nbd7 10 g4 b5 11 e5? Bb7 given by a visiting French expert who, despite an
play remains woeful. But at least a majority of the A nasty skewer, but o3 doubles down! initial concern over the proper positioning of his
games ended in checkmate rather than in 12 Bg2?? Just losing the queen. Bxf3 13 Bxf3 main prop, performed his task with admirable speed
and neatness which earned him a Patron’s Gold
disqualification due to illegal moves. Nd5 14 Nxd5 exd5 15 Bxe7 Kxe7
Award of some £23.
Millions of chess games are available online, so 16 exd6+ (see diagram) Qxd6?? 17 Nf5+ The said Patron, though absent due to a prior
presumably these models have ingested lots of Ke6 18 Nxd6 Kxd6 19 Rxd5+ 19 Rhe1+ engagement, was reported to have been well satis-
notation as part of their training. Almost all the was stronger. Kc7 20 Rxd7+ Kxd7 21 Bxa8 fied with the morning’s outcome and confident that it
games began with the Sicilian defence (1 e4 c5), Rxa8 22 Rd1+ Ke7 I’ll spare you the rest. would not deter his country’s most respected seeds-
presumably because humans write about it. Black resigned at move 54. men from continuing to supply him with the most
desirable specimens from their own exclusive stock.
Indeed, an early replacement for the once-fragrant,
PUZZLE NO. 864 though apparently unreliable, Rosa Boleynii may be
White to play and mate in two moves. Composed
wdw!wdwd announced very shortly.
Martin Parker
by Godfrey Heathcote, Manchester Evening News, dwdwdwdw
1887. Email answers to chess@[Link] by
Monday 25 August. There is a prize of a £20 John
Ndwdwdwd The first world war as a Netflix crime series
The first episode of this much talked-about crime noir
Lewis voucher for the first correct answer out of a dwdp4wdw opened literally with a bang, the murder of a feathery-
hat. Please include a postal address and allow six hatted aristocrat and his wife. The hit-man is swiftly
weeks for prize delivery.
wdwdkdpd arrested, but who was behind it all? Cue then a whole
range of the usual stock figures, often expendable, to
dwdwdwdw come and try to sort things out, including incompe-
Last week’s solution 1…Rxd6! 2 Qxd6 Bf3
threatens Qxg2#. White resigned in view of 3 g3 wdwIwdwd tent Frenchmen who need to be rescued, until things
get repetitive and the plot gets bogged down near the
Qc1+ 4 Kh2 Qh1#
Last week’s winner Derek Nesbitt,
dwdwdRdw unlikely and insignificant river Somme. In a some-
what predictable twist in episode five, the increas-
West Malling, Kent ingly implausible action requires some entirely new
58 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

comps_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 58 20/08/2025 12:11

 LIFE

characters, of course American, to tidy it up. In an

overly showy final scene set – why? – in a palace Crossword
full of mirrors, the principal American, apparently
called Woody, apportions rewards and blame. Every-
2717: With my
one claims it to be ‘the end’, but it is abundantly little eye
clear that we are being set up for a second series.
Brian Murdoch by La Jerezana
The Charge of the Light Brigade as a cricket match Eight unclued lights (three of
Raglan gave the order. From the top of the pavilion two words, including an abbrevi-
he rang the starting bell. ation) comprise two ingredients,
When Cardigan trotted out, it was believed he had an instruction and its instruc-
misunderstood the instructions. tor, and the work in which they
He had a bad start. Dancing down the wicket to feature. The ODQ provides con-
Starc he missed entirely. firmation.
Next ball he repeated the madness and was caught Across
in the deep. Raglan looked on in horror. 1 Terribly pale, Tacitus
As Australia brought out the big guns things only yields (11)
got worse. 11 Exotic fruit and slice of
The 13th Light Dragoons were hit hardest at first: smelly cheese (6)
Duckett, Crawley and Pope all fell before lunch. 15 Tea after endless day in
Later, the 17th Lancers and the 11th Hussars took
Russian cottage (5)
the brunt, with Brook and Smith gone by 2.30. Only
16 Pub screening sport in
Root held out till tea, when the end of the innings
brought a stop to the madness. lead-up to ski jump (5)
Still, the question remained. Why had England 17 Collide with cycles,
tried to play T20 cricket in a Test match? back end first (6) Down 28 Sibling told police about
David Harris 18 Fur coats originally sold 1 Awakens Salome, network (6)
in Slavic city (5) seething with vice (5,5) 31 Prefaces to letters of
It’s the Brexit round of Strictly Come Dancing, the 21 Element of flamenco, 2 Sound off and witter on sardonic English novelist
European Union holding the floor as the UK consid- initially jaunty and light, about endless love (8) (5)
ers a move; will she stay or withdraw? They have eventually overwhelming 3 Island covered in bizarre 33 Regularly disdain and
long been uneasy partners, out of step, missing the (5) starlike symbols with outwit vacuous ninny (5)
beat, dancing to different tempos as they struggle 22 Departed, leaving female three legs (9)
over who will lead. A brisk comparison of choreo- 4 Event for stiff A first prize of a £30 John Lewis
unescorted? Never mind
graphy; it may be a case of ‘take back control’ with
(3,5) establishment figures voucher and two runners-up
the UK as the music starts. Leavers and Remainers
27 Stop the French beginning (5-2-5) prizes of £20 vouchers for the
begin to tango, pressed close, a passionate, heated
to somersault like tumblers 5 Extremely trampish, first correct solutions opened on
dip and rise, a kick or two. Incredible tension. A
battle for independence, a flirtation with staying in (8) odd and shaggy (7) 8 September. Please scan or
sync. This may be the last tango in Paris, or any- 30 The poor are down here 6 Marine mammal snaffling photograph entries and email
where in Europe for that matter. The judges confer, (2,4) retired Scotsman’s fish them (including the crossword
and the Leavers waltz away with the crown, leaving 32 Consider imprisoning (3,5) number in the subject field) to
the Remainers feeling slighted, shocked and boxed drug addict (5) 7 Avoids birds (5) crosswords@[Link],
into a corner with little room to manoeuvre. It’s been 34 Foreign thug is toast, 8 Closure of reactionary or post to: Crossword 2717,
absolute murder on the dancefloor. firing a round (6) organ in revolutionary The Spectator, 22 Old Queen
Janine Beacham 36 Bust-up among falsettos time (4) Street, London SW1H 9HP.
(3-2) 9 Picked up cheap food
The Annual Budget as a Branch of Mathematics
37 Fiery blazes materialise in Scotland (6) Name
Sturtevant and Yang propose erecting a new branch
(5) 10 Cut final elements of
of maths, to be known as Governmental, Impure or
Speculative Mathematics, but there is more to the 38 Soldiers guarding new business profit margin (5) Address
subject than the commonplace that cancellarian two drone, pending delivery 14 Rough estates involved
and two do not usually make four. Consider Cook’s (2,5) in dispute (5,3,4)
Variable Constant, C, (the ‘Fudge Factor’) defined 39 Monstrous old Spanish 23 Sunbathed topless, as
as modulus (Ng – Nw), where Ng = the number artist, essentially unethical requested (5,3)
you have and Nw = the number you want. Particu- (6) 24 Energy ebbs and flows in
larly interesting is the finite summation of an infi- 40 Dismissed, exhausted and polymers (8)
nite diverging series, so that government borrowing away from home (3) 25 Sons frequently mellow (6)
can increase forever without repayment. A further 41 Exalted and adored ships 26 Admire a complex wine
promising development is Quantum Statistics, in at sea (11) (7)
which figures can be right and wrong simultane-
ously. The novel use of infinitesimals, as applied to
spending cuts, is more controversial, but a ground- SOLUTION TO 2714: 81 LIVES
breaking use of pi, as something we can have
tomorrow, but never today, exemplifies the useful
creativity of the new subject. Unclued lights are cats of noted people and in literature
Frank Upton and popular culture and feature in the same entry in Brewer,
p242/243 20th edition.
NO. 3416: THROUPLE
First prize Mike Whiteoak, Barkingside, Ilford
You are invited to submit a passage which Runners-up Sue Topham, Elston, Nottinghamshire;
marries romantasy with a third genre, e.g. pol- Francis Wheen, Pleshey, Essex
itical thriller, comic fiction, noir (150 words
max, not too rude). Please email entries to
competition@[Link] by 3 September.
the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 59

comps_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 59 20/08/2025 12:11

 fact, we’ve been at it for some time. as one of several ‘areas of concern’
No sacred cows The same council tried to ban swear- in the UK. The report singled out the
Thanet’s town-hall tyranny ing last year, but withdrew its propos- use of these orders to ban protests out-
al when we threatened legal action. side abortion clinics, something J.D.
Toby Young The issue then was that the ban was Vance raised at the Munich Security
too vague and broad, covering not Conference. But there are other exam-
just ‘foul and abusive’ language – ples of overreach, leading to PSPOs
terms which have no legal meaning – being nicknamed ‘busybody char-
but also congregating in groups and ters’. Last year, we pointed out to

L
ast week I took a day trip to misogyny, defined as ‘behaviour... that Redbridge council that its ban on cat-
Margate. Not to enjoy a swim results in a loss of dignity or respect’. calling was unlawful and it agreed not
in the sea, but in the hope of We argued it was far from clear what to renew it. Other speech restrictions
having a debate with a member of would be covered by the swearing that have been imposed by PSPOs
Thanet district council about its pro- ban – could you be fined £100 for tell- cover amplification, making noise
posed ban on swearing. A few days ing someone to bugger off? – and the and shouting.
before, when the ban was being dis- other provisions risked criminalising So far, the Free Speech Union has
cussed, a Labour councillor had peaceful protest. The council backed prevailed whenever it has threatened
challenged me to come to Margate, down, but is having another go. legal action against an overzealous
where he promised to give me a piece We think there’s an important prin- local authority, and we expect to suc-
of his mind. ‘If you’d like to come ciple at stake. Under sections 59-75 of ceed against Thanet. Trying to limit
down here and meet me I’d be more the Anti-Social Behaviour, Crime and freedom of expression and assembly
than happy to tell you exactly what I Policing Act 2014, councils can intro- without interfering in people’s con-
think of you and there might be the duce Public Space Protection Orders vention rights is a piece of needle-
odd expletive in it,’ he said. Not sure (PSPOs) enabling ‘enforcement offic- threading that is beyond the legal
that’s the best way to defend a swear- ers’ to fine residents for engaging in departments of most councils – if they
ing ban, Councillor. I posted a video supposedly unacceptable behaviour. even bother to consult their lawyers.
on the Free Speech Union’s social They were intended to enable coun- An earlier iteration of Thanet’s latest
media channels saying I’d be on Mar- cils to tackle prostitution, loitering or PSPO would have had the effect of
gate beach at 10.30 a.m. on Tuesday drinking alcohol in specific trouble banning the consumption of alcohol
and looked forward to meeting him. spots, but they have to be carefully in licensed premises, which is prohib-
Needless to say, he didn’t turn up. drafted so as not to fall foul of the law. ited by the 2014 act. It’s also flat-out
I even managed to gain access to the According to section 72 of the act, insane. Thanet council was effectively
council’s offices and went in search of councils must have ‘particular regard going to force every pub in Margate,
him and Rick Everitt, Thanet’s leader, to the rights of freedom of expression Ramsgate and Broadstairs to serve
but they were nowhere to be found. and freedom of assembly’ under Arti- nothing but soft drinks. Good luck
Were they working from home? Per- cles 10 and 11 of the European Con- getting re-elected.
haps they were put off by the two vans vention on Human Rights, a duty we I have some sympathy for councils
I’d hired to follow me around, each think Thanet has failed to discharge. that want to make use of these powers
displaying a huge billboard advertis- At least a dozen councils are abus- to target specific types of anti-social
ing the ban. ‘Stubbed your toe?’ one ing this power too and we’re not the behaviour and we offered to sit down
of them read. ‘Remember, it’s a crime Could you be only ones who think the increasing with Cllr Everitt to help him draft
to swear in Thanet.’ fined £100 use of these orders is cause for alarm. a legally watertight PSPO, but he
Going to these lengths to challenge for telling In the US State Department’s annual refused. Like most town-hall tyrants,
a swearing ban may seem excessive. report on human rights abuses across he knows best. For the sake of his
Was this something the Free Speech someone to the world, published last week, the ratepayers, I hope he doesn’t waste
Union should be campaigning on? In bugger off ? prevalence of PSPOs was mentioned money trying to fight us in court.

MICHAEL HEATH

60 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

Toby_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 60 20/08/2025 11:37

 that Sir Tim Berners-Lee is cruising To be honest, if he invaded Poland I’d
The Wiki Man round the Med on a 600ft megayacht probably move there.
Money talks crammed with bikini-clad supermod- But here’s the thing. For every
els. Nor is Sir Stanley Whittingham great idea you can monetise yourself,
Rory Sutherland (co-inventor of the lithium-ion bat- there are 20 that you can’t – and it is
tery) sunning himself on an inflatable these ideas which create wealth.
flamingo in an infinity pool overlook- So what’s the plan? Well, if rich
ing Hvar. We don’t even know who people are so brilliantly inventive
invented chicken tikka masala. All (and some of them are), call them out

R
eading Careless People, an three have made many billions, per- at their own game. Instigate a wealth
exposé of life within Facebook haps trillions, of pounds – unfortu- tax but hypothecate 25 per cent of the
written by a Kiwi, it occurred nately, for other people. proceeds to an innovation fund. With
to me that one potential advantage that I once met the daughter of one of 5 per cent, you retroactively reward
the UK, Australia, Canada and New the four British and Australian men unrecognised wealth creators: it would
Zealand have over the US is we do instrumental in the discovery and be nice to give Sir Stanley a Bentley,
not unthinkingly idolise the very rich. creation of penicillin. As I remember, say, or an all-female bodyguard unit
Americans sometimes find this she did live in the Cotswolds. I didn’t like Colonel Gaddafi (he may not
confusing: it always irked transplant- see any evidence of a Range Rover, actually want these things, admitted-
ed American bankers in London that though. In a truly just world, she’d ly: what you got there is a disturbing
local employees were eager to make have a brand-new V8 Overfinch con- glimpse inside my imagination).
a few million quid, but lost inter- version, with light-up wheels. With the remaining 20 per cent
est beyond a certain threshold. Once In short, any debate about wealth you instigate a prize fund worth bil-
they had a rectory in the Cotswolds, is meaningless unless we acknowl- lions to reward people for ideas which
an Aga, two labradors and a Range edge that it is perfectly possible to are impossible to monetise – the Har-
Rover it was game over, you win. create wealth without extracting it and rison ‘Longitude’ Prize for the 21st
This is because the US is more of that, correspondingly, it is also possi- century. If they are so clever, the rich
a money/power economy, whereas ble to extract wealth without creating can then earn their money back.
the Commonwealth countries are to For every it. Economists don’t get this. I myself have an idea which would
a greater extent prestige economies. great idea you So we have shovelled billions of reduce needless GP visits by 50 per
We shouldn’t bemoan this, but turn it can monetise dollars into the maw of Facebook cent while costing nothing. If you can
to our advantage instead. Here’s how. without any evidence that the com- get a Rolls-Royce Spectre past NHS
It’s a wealth tax. But wait. yourself, there pany is capable of enacting a single Procurement, it’s yours. Out there
Traditionally the proponents of a are 20 that new idea. It’s mostly extractive. Mark somewhere is someone who knows a
wealth tax have implicitly attacked you can’t – Zuckerberg is a big digital Duke of far better way of fixing potholes, solv-
the wealthy. I think a better line of Westminster, without the redeeming ing the house-building crisis or reduc-
attack is to highlight people who
and it is these charm or style. By contrast, I know ing innumeracy. This is what we need
should be really wealthy but aren’t. ideas which Elon Musk’s politics are a bit dicey, to grow the economy, rather than a
At the moment, I think it unlikely create wealth but he does keep trying new things. magical brainfart from Rachel Reeves.

DEAR MARY YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED

you the following week but we around brightly and say to your bills to pay but obviously cannot
will be away in the country.’ companions: ‘Now who do you magic up eight weeks of other
think you’ll have dinner with work. How do I tactfully suggest
Q. My husband and I recently tomorrow? I gather it’s bad form they can’t leave her in the lurch
went on a ten-day cruise, hoping to have dinner with the same without seeming too interfering?
to spend time together without people each night. Too cliquey. – L.K., London SW14
too many social interruptions. But perhaps we can get away
On one of the excursions we with it again on the last night A. Suggest nothing except
met a delightful Canadian since we’ve had such fun?’ that your cleaner tender her
Q. My twins’ birthday is coming couple who suggested we meet resignation. People lacking
up, but we will be in the country. up for dinner that night, which Q. I have a lovely, efficient empathy to this degree do
Their godparents are usually we were happy to do, thinking cleaner who I recommended not deserve the privilege of
punctilious, but will send things it was a one-off. We enjoyed to friends of a friend in April. employing an efficient cleaner
to the London address. How do their company, but when they She has since been working for – they are very thin on the
I let them know that we will be suggested we continue to have them two days a week and they ground and you will easily find
away, without sounding like I’m dinner together for the rest of are definitely pleased with her. some substitute work for her.
expecting them to send presents? the cruise, we could not think of However, they have told her that Incidentally every UK worker
– P.W., London NW1 a reasonable excuse not to. We they are off for a trip for eight is entitled to 5.6 weeks paid
are keen to go on more cruises weeks and that there will be holiday per annum. Even those
A. Ask them to lunch shortly but can envisage falling into this ‘no need’ for her to work while who pay their cleaners under
before you go away. The subject trap again. Any ideas, Mary? they are away. They have not the counter should think through
of your imminent departure for – G.H., Truro, Cornwall offered any kind of retainer. I their obligations re. holiday pay.
the country will naturally come have heard that these people are
up at the lunch. If they can’t A. Make sure that at the end rather ‘careful’ , despite being Write to Dear Mary at
come, say: ‘Oh well, I would ask of your first dinner you look very well off. My cleaner has dearmary@[Link]

the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link] 61

Wiki and Dear Mary_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 61 20/08/2025 11:38

 LIFE

Christianity and modernity loses Rene regards himself as the brake to

Drink its potency with nightfall, while the Jack’s accelerator.
Urbane myth ancient Gods fly forth to assert their The new firm set about making
continuing sovereignty. vodka, though not – so far – on Hydra.
Bruce Anderson Hydra is the classical Greek word The main distilling, grain-based, will
for water: the island is well-endowed take place in Schiedam, Rotterdam.
with springs. It is also associated This distillery dating from 1658 is one
with the multi-headed monster, ulti- of the oldest and most important in
mately slain by Herakles as one of Europe. The premises are imposing.
his labours. But the monster had his Hydra Vodka started off with one
revenge. According to one version stroke of luck, at least for them. Just
of Herakles’s death, the creature’s when Jack and Rene launched their
venom – provided by the goddess endeavours, Vladimir Putin decid-
Hera – poisoned the Shirt of Nessus, ed to invade Ukraine. Suddenly, the
which Herakles wore, condemning export market for Russian vodka col-

J ack Gervaise-Brazier is a restless

romantic. He was brought up on
Guernsey, which filled him with a
love of islands, but also a desire for
him to agony. There is one conclusion
to be drawn from all this. Fear Greek
goddesses, whatever they are bearing.
Jack was looking for inspiration
lapsed. A new vodka with no difficult
associations seemed easy to market,
and so it has proved.
Vodka is of course especially
wider horizons. As Jack was a head and found it. Hydra: water. Vodka/ pleasurable when accompanied by
boy and a good historian and classi- vody is the Russian/Ukrainian word caviar. But it is an excellent aperitif.
cist, his schoolmasters assumed that Vodka is for water. So Jack had a project, plus A stylish, sophisticated drink with a
he would move on to university and of course a name for the product, Hydra Vodka, clarity of taste and a long finish, then
he was offered a place at Durham. which would of course draw heavily even if much of the world is in the
Had he visited, he might have fall- especially on Greek mythology. He also struck grip of the Shirt of Nessus, this vodka
en under the seduction of its cathe- pleasurable up a partnership with a fellow roman- is a fine herald of a good dinner.
dral and other glories. As it was, he with caviar, tic, an Austrian called Rene Riefler. A As I savoured all this, Jack asked
headed for a different City to pursue but it is an giant of a man, Rene has often been me if there was anything unusual that
stockbroking and trading. Although told that he would make a good James I had noticed in the taste. Though
he turned out to be a more than useful excellent Bond villain, but that does not seem there was nothing which I could iden-
performer, he always intended to use aperitif like an accurate character reading. tify, the answer was that he had drawn
this as a ladder, enabling him to start on his rum-distilling days and added a
up his own ventures. These included a tiny amount of sugar cane. Original,
brewery on Guernsey and a rum com- daring even: one would not associate
pany. But the restlessness persisted. sugar cane with vodka. Yet it worked,
This was all an interim. adding length and subtlety.
Jack had always been interested in A major French supermarket
Greek mythology as well as its antiq- group, [Link], has already placed
uities and landscape. He once sailed a substantial order. In the UK, those
past Hydra in the Saronic islands, who taste it appear to want to taste
jewels in the wine-dark sea. As full again. I myself prefer it to Grey
darkness descends, it is always pos- Goose. We will hear more, and drink
sible to believe that the regimen of more, of Hydra Vodka.

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE

Hundred per cent

When this century began we system that enables characters meanings: either ‘Full marks’
were complaining (or I was) and scripts (168 of them, from or ‘Keep it real’. If someone
of the ubiquity of absolutely Old Uyghur to Samaritan) to be had said ‘Keep it real’ to me,
to signal agreement. The used online. Unicode is also to I’d have thought it a criticism,
interjection has been around blame for the lamentable use of like ‘Don’t be daft’. But it is
for 200 years. (It occurs in development of an emoji with its emoticons online as a substitute regarded as friendly support,
Jane Eyre, 1847.) It became own meanings. I had supposed for words. Unicode encodes in the sense of ‘Keep authentic
objectionable by overuse. At that meant 100 per cent, 3,790 emojis, some I admit and truthful’.
least it was amenable to jokey implying agreement. But the quite useful, such as the waning In India, more charmingly
tmesis by inserting a suitable immediate figurative reference gibbous moon symbol. because less familiarly, they
expletive: abso-bloody-lutely. is to examination marks (which Arabic numerals such as 100 still use cent per cent, an
But now I reach for my to be sure are 100 per cent when are already translingual. There old-fashioned way of saying
throwing-slippers when someone the mark is 100). So the emoji is no need to vocalise them in completely. The Indians speak
on the radio says: ‘One hundred primarily implies full marks for any particular language: you of ‘a cent per cent success’, but
per cent.’ It can be a hundred per the interlocutor, not absolute don’t have to say to yourself if I said that in Britain it would
cent, hundred per cent or (in the agreement by the writer. ‘hundred’ or ‘cien’ when reading increase the percentage of
mouth of Gen Z) hundo P. This emoji is labelled one. But the ‘hundred points blank stares I receive.
Even odder is the U+1F4AF by Unicode, the symbol’ has two main figurative — Dot Wordsworth

62 the spectator | 23 august 2025 | [Link]

Drink and Dot_23 Aug 2025_The [Link] 62 20/08/2025 12:58

 su
Ex ribe
bs
c
clu r r
siv ew
e ar
d
Wines of Lebanon Lunch
Guest speakers H.E. Rami Mortada the Lebanese Ambassador to
the UK, and Freddy Gray, deputy editor of The Spectator

Readers are invited to a very special lunch at Boisdale of Canary Wharf featuring the remarkable wines of Ch.
Ksara – Lebanon’s oldest winery, founded in 1857 by Jesuit monks. The lunch will be hosted by George Sara,
co-owner, Michael Karam, the leading authority on Lebanese wine and the inspiration behind the extraordinary
¿OPWine & War-RQDWKDQ5D\DQG5DQDOG0DFGRQDOG$W\SLFDOO\¿QH%RLVGDOHOXQFKZLOOIHDWXUHVL[SRXUV
from Ch. Ksara’s range, including a white and red Grande Cuvée created exclusively for Boisdale, Ksara’s iconic
Blanc de Blancs made with Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc and Sémillon and the historic Le Prieuré made with old
vine Carignan, Cinsault, Grenache and Mourvèdre. Finally, there will be a delicious late-picked Moscatel pudding
wine and an sublimely smooth Arak cocktail, the aniseed-based eau de vie that is Lebanon’s national drink.

7KHUHZLOODOVREHD*UDQG:LQH5DIÀHIRU7KH/HEDQRQ

1%&DQDU\:KDUILVHDVLO\DQGVZLIWO\UHDFKDEOHIURPWKH:HVW(QGEHLQJMXVW¿YHVWRSVIURP%RQG6WUHHW
RQWKH(OL]DEHWK/LQHDQGVHYHQVWRSVIURP*UHHQ3DUNRQWKH-XELOHH/LQH

WEDNESDAY 22 OCTOBER | 12.30PM FOR 1PM | £145 AND

INCLUDES A £10 DONATION TO THE LEBANESE RED CROSS

In aid of The Lebanon at Boisdale of Canary Wharf

For more information visit [Link]/tastings

ADVERT - Spectator Lebanese Wine_21-Aug-2025_The [Link] 63 19/08/2025 15:18

 M A R K E T I N G C O M M U N I C AT I O N

Be a
hunter.
Not a
tracker.
In a volatile investment climate it can pay to hunt Profits
actively. If you only track an Index, there’s a danger of finding
some unpleasant surprises mixed in with Profits. That’s why
our Hunters have always taken the selective path. Relying on
the instincts of a hunter, not a tracker. Your capital is at risk.

Talk to your financial adviser or scan to find out more.

Issued by Artemis Fund Managers Limited which is authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority.

A274821_HunterTracker Spectator_276x210.indd 1 05/08/2025 15:53

ADVERT - Artemis_14-Aug-2025_The [Link] 64 12/08/2025 13:18*