Needy ness
1. texting too much
2. texting without having anything to say
3. nothing better to do than spending time with me
Strategy
1. Rejection is great why? Cos she wouldn’t have been happy with you and you wouldn’t enjoy
that. So don’t alter your personality for anybody. Seek rejections.
2. 3 categories: unresponsive, neutral and receptive
a. Unresponsive: weed out ASAP
b. Neutral: Polarise to either side. How: Be yourself (don’t restrict)
c. Receptive: Make a move
Power in vulnerability
1. be aware of the emotion behind vulnerability eg: it should not be neediness eg: telling about
dead dog hoping to get sympathy = wrong
2. Not caring about reaction and telling that you had depression = OK
What you say doesn't matter, the emotion behind it matters because are very intuitive when it
comes to emotions, motivations and social cues.
women want compliment, but genuine compliments. intentions matter
women want to be desired, but genuine desire. Not ego boost
Find your motivation to go behind a woman
if they are superficial reasons, step back
Three Fundamentals
1. Honest living: job you don't hate, lifestyle: active
2. Honest action: your interest in her should take priority over her opinion of you whatever that
might be.
3. Honest conversation
8. Lifestyle and Presentation (Honest living)
appearance vs looks not the same. appearance is very imp. Women would judge your status
based on how you appear
exercise: reduces anxiety, depression. makes you feel better about yourself
body language- walk straight
tone: don't talk quickly. reduce speed. practice speaking from chest, not mouth
character: have opinions and express them openly. Nothing wrong with being agreeable but
that does not stand out eg: She remembered Indira Gandhi comment. Amelia, Sophia all
appreciated it
9. Honest action
judgements of her aren't honest portrayals but defence mechanisms.
Like attracts like
o You’d enjoy more together (eg: Amelia-very different)
Prioritise what you value
you don't even know her
- these resistances change shape with age: anxiety to apathy to arrogance. (I'm
moving towards apathy)
be aware of your stories. Bcos unless you're aware, you wouldn’t change your behaviour. eg:
between 2017-19: I'd appear as a creep or intimidating as I’m tall. Since 2019- don’t have a
job. Since 2025- I’m too old (prediction)
- stop buying into your bullshit
- there's always going to be something you wish you had to be able to talk
Find pattern of your defense once anxiety kicks in:
- apathy: relationships have no point. Reality- we're biologically
wired to pursue women
victim mentality: women just want $$, women in shimla just want to stay in shimla etc
Porn
reduce motivation to pursue women
exaggerates expectations towards sex, women appearance (less expectations = more
happiness). real women have imperfections
napoleon hill 'think and grow rich': successful men don't masturbate as often
10. Overcome anxiety
nobody likes rejecting people eg: do you like saying no to nitin/ karan/ Vaibhav/ Garima
Do you think women spend so much time on appearance so that they can reject you? The
want to select you.
- your task as a man is to take action. open your mouth/ call her.
accept anxiety. never try to hide it from women (craig fergusson)
- non-neediness= feeling the fear and deciding that something else is more important.
(kind of meditation)
- small, incremental exposure = way to reduce anxiety.
- focus on improving only one thing at a time
11. Intentions
1. what's the difference between teasing (positive intention) and insults (negative intention),
sharing yourself vs bragging
2. creepiness: some women will always find you creepy no matter what. Give yourself
permission to be creepy. The more the gap between intentions and actions/words- the
higher chances of creepiness. but overall, you can't really stop it.
Flirting: ability to express sexuality to women in a way that makes her secure and able to
express it back to you.
- types of Flirting: Teasing/ Boldness (craig fergusson uses both)
- I won’t take the boldness route as its borderline harassment.
- Teasing sends mixed signals: Yes I like you. No I don't. Dimension of uncertainty. Go
for it (with Sophia)
12. Improve flirting
1. No matter what you do, there’ll always be misunderstandings. But what you can do is
improve your communication and presentation
2. What you say to her doesn’t matter. What matters is your anxiety level and intentions
3. Ways to approach –
a. Do not linger. Imagine a straight line and go. Not from behind
b. Smile . not like joker though (think of it and you’d smile)
c. Don’t try to be clever/ have a pick-up line. Fails most of the time (ankit kapila-
Aakriti)
