Unit – III

ACTIVE LISTENING

Listening can be described as a skill that involves receiving,

interpreting and responding to the message sent by the
communicator. Like any other skill, listening skill also needs to be
learnt and developed for effective communication. It is, in fact,
one of the most important skills that play a vital role in the process
of communication. As listening can be seen as funda- mental to all
communication, poor listening can become a major barrier to
communication. It can result in break-down of communication, or
wrong, improper and incomplete communication. Messages can
be lost, misunderstandings may crop up, and people may perceive
or be perceived wrongly.

HEARING AND LISTENING

Most of the problems discussed above crop up because we do not
discern between the two activities, listening and hearing. Hearing
is primarily a physical act that depends on the ears. Unless there is
a physical disability or problems such as noise or distance, it
happens automatically. It requires no special effort from the
listener. ‘Listening’, on the other hand, is a much more conscious
activity that demands a lot more than just hearing. It requires the
conscious involvement of the listener, the acknowledgement of
understanding and response. The listener has to hear, analyze,
judge, and conclude. When a person is listening, he is constructing
a parallel message based on the sound clues and verifying whether
his message corresponds with what he hears. Hence, listening is
an active process in which the listener plays an active part in
constructing the overall message that is eventually exchanged
between a listener and a speaker. It is a process that actively
engages the speaker as well as the listener. Both are equally
involved. Even as the listener is listening, he has to process the
facts, study the body language of the speaker and also project the
appropriate body language to the speaker. The speaker, in turn, has
to cognize the feedback given by the listener and respond. It is, in
other words, like a see-saw, where both the listener and the speaker
monitor one another’s response and then act. A person, who listens
well and engineers his body language appropriately, is seen as a
‘good conversationalist’ even though he actually speaks less. This
is active listening.

Most of the problems in ‘listening’ arise because of the

discrepancy in our speed of talking and listening. On an average,
we can speak around 120 to 150 words a minute. But the brain is
capable of processing 500 to 750 words a minute. Most of the brain
is idle when we are just listening. Attention, thus, gets dissipated
 and the mind starts getting engaged in other things. As a result, our
listening becomes partial and selective. Often instead of listening
and trying to understand what the other person is saying, we get
more involved in forming our counter arguments. This also
becomes a kind of selective listening where, more than listening,
we are involved in our own response. In effective and active
listening, the listener, after grasping the content of the speaker gets
engaged in trying to understand him. He looks at the problem from
the other person’s perspective, engineers his body language
appropriately giving the listener constant feedback. This process,
as mentioned earlier, is as engaging as talking. Thus, it leaves no
space in the listener’s mind empty for speculation or formation of
anti-discourse.

KINDS OF LISTENING
There are different kinds of listening. Depending on the quality of listening,
it has been divided into four types.
1. Ignoring
2. Selective listening
3. Attentive listening
4. Empathetic listening

Ignoring: This is the kind of listening where the listener is entirely

ignoring the message as well as the message giver.
He/she might just be ‘pretending’ to listen while doing or thinking
something else. This can be very damaging because the listener’s
lack of participation be- comes evident through the body language.
The speaker might feel snubbed and hurt, which might further lead
to a total breakdown of communication. The same preoccupation
might also result in the listener not taking note of the speaker’s
reaction.

Selective Listening: Selective listening is listening to parts of the

conversation while ignoring most of it. This is the kind of listening
we practice often while listening to repeated public an
announcement or the TV news if we are looking for some specific
information. If we are waiting for news about the cancellation of
trains in a certain route, for example, extensive coverage about a
cricket match or weather is most likely to be at the fringe of
hearing. We register the broad topic at times but the details are
ignored. The brain registers the topics and then dis- misses them
or just ‘shuts off’. This often happens in classrooms too. Many
students practice selective listening. The whole lecture is rarely
listened to with the same intensity. Individual students pick up
topics of their concern or interest in a lecture and pay close
attention to it. The rest of the content is either given peripheral
attention or ignored. It is only sometimes that a whole lecture is
absorbed similarly.
It is interesting to note the instantaneous change in the body
language when the listener moves from the non-listening to the
listening phase. The facial expression becomes more focused. The
eyes, especially, show a lot more concentration. The listener might
even lean for- ward in the chair or towards the speaker or might
straighten up and turn towards the direction the message is coming
from. When the message has been observed, the body language
relaxes visibly. This can be noticed in the slumping of the
shoulders and diminishing eye-contact. During any conversation,
it is very important for the speaker, especially, to look out for these
signs. If the listener or listeners are listening only selectively, the
structuring of the content may need to be altered; the material may
have to be made more relevant, or repetitions may have to be
avoided. But if you are a listener engaged in a conversation with a
speaker, beware. Your body language will most probably give
away that you are listening only partially!

Attentive Listening: Attentive listening in a kind of listening

where there is no selective dismiss- al. The listener listens to the
speaker completely, attentively, without glossing over or ignoring
any part of the speech. This is the kind of listening we find when
there is a discussion, for example, on a topic we are interested in
or we are critically examining a piece of information for further
discussion. Critical listening allows us to form an opinion on the
topic being dis- cussed and even design our response
appropriately. It allows us to assess the viewpoint, the perspective
of the speaker and weigh the arguments appropriately.
Empathetic Listening: This is the ultimate kind of listening that
is done not just to listen and understand, but understand the
speaker’s world as he sees it. Here, one empathizes with the
speaker, understands his viewpoint but does not necessarily agree
with him. This kind of listening has almost a therapeutic effect on
both the speaker and the listener.
Empathetic listening is different from attentive listening or
critical listening. As Stephen Covey puts it, here listening gets
into” another person’s frame of reference It is listening, not only
with one’s ears, but one’s heart”. To quote Covey again, “you
listen for feeling, for meaning. You use both your right brain as
well as your left. You sense, you intuit, you feel”.
This is the kind of listening one friend gives to another friend when
the latter feels the need to speak, or a sympathetic parent gives to
the growing child if he/she has come back from school, troubled.

Active Listening in Professional Interactions

Whether you are seeking a new job opportunity, striving to earn a
promotion or working to improve in your current role, improving
 your active listening skills will help you succeed. Much like
critical thinking and conflict resolution, this soft skill will help
increase your value as an employee.
Here are several benefits of being an active listener:
1. It helps you build connections
Active listening helps others feel comfortable sharing information
with you. When you demonstrate your ability to sincerely listen to
what others have to say, people will be more interested in
communicating with you on a regular basis. This can help open up
opportunities to collaborate with others, get work done quickly or
start new projects. All of these things can help lead you to success
in your career.
2. It helps you build trust
When people know they can speak freely to you without
interruptions, judgment or unwelcome interjections, they will be
more likely to confide in you. This is especially helpful when
meeting a new customer or business contact with whom you want
to develop a long-term working relationship.
3. It helps you identify and solve problems
Actively listening to others will help you detect challenges and
difficulties others are facing or problems within projects. The more
quickly you’re able to spot these issues, the sooner you can find a
solution or create a plan to address it.
4. It helps you increase your knowledge and understanding of various
topics
Great employees are always striving to learn something new and
grow their knowledge base. Because active listening helps you
retain information, it will also help you better understand new
topics and remember what you’ve learned so you can apply it in
the future.
5. It helps you avoid missing critical information
Because active listeners are highly engaged with the speaker, they
are able to recall specific details. This is especially important when
the speaker is proving instructions, training you on a new process
or delivering a message you are responsible for passing along to
others.

Differences between Active Listening and Passive

Listening
The points stated below discuss the difference between active
listening and passive listening:
1. Active listening is when the listener in the communication
absorbs all that is being spoken by the speaker, as well as
makes effort to verify the facts by asking questions. On the
other hand, passive listening is when the listener is physically
present during the presentation but mentally absent, wherein
all that is spoken by the speaker is heard by the listener but not
absorbed.
2. While active listening is an interactive process, passive
listening is a mechanical process.
3. In active listening, the listener encourages the speaker to speak
up further, by showing interest in the conversation. As against,
a passive listener often discourages the speaker by not focusing
on the listening process and showing boredom and disinterest
on his face.
4. Active listening is supported by nodding, eye contact, asking
questions, if necessary, etc. On the contrary, passive listening
is denoted by ungainly posture or looking here and there, etc.
5. Reaction or response plays a very important role in listening,
it shows how attentive or keen the listener is. In passive
listening there is listening without reacting, however, it is not
same as hearing. In this the listener allows the speaker to speak
without any interruption, as well as not pays attention to the
speaker’s speech.
Conversely, active listening is characterized by response or
reaction on the part of the listener.
6. Passive Listening is a one-way communication, as the listener
or receiver does not provide his/her feedback to the speaker.
On the other hand, active listening is a twoway communication
which includes appropriate responses, which indicates that the
listener is not just hearing but also understanding, what the
speaker is saying.
7. An active listener shows his keenness for information by
asking more questions, offering suggestions, agreeing or
disagreeing with the thoughts of the speaker, whereas a passive
listener always wants the speaker to wrap up the topic as soon
as possible, so he/she does not lead the topic further by asking
questions or offering suggestions.
8. In active listening, the listener concentrates, understands,
responds and remembers the statement spoken by the speaker.
In contrast, in passive listening, the listener is usually
engrossed in his/her own thoughts and does not pays attention
to the speaker but only pretends that he/she is listening.
9. Non-verbal clues shown by an active listener are change in
facial expression, rolling of eyes, showing interest by
questioning or smiling, etc. On the other hand, passive listener
generally exhibits non-verbal clues such as yawning, looking
here and there, showing boredom, being silent etc.
BARRIERS TO GOOD LISTENING

Sometime or the other, all of us listen partially, we do selective

listening. Sometimes we also ignore some messages. There are
many reasons as to why we do not listen completely. Some of them
are the following:

Physical reasons: One chief cause of bad listening could be a

person’s inability to hear properly. Apart from this, noise and
distance too could become barriers to listening properly or not
listening at all. Anyone who has tried talking on a running train or
pass on a message to someone across a crowded street has
experienced what a physical barrier could be.

1.Age and Attitude: Age and attitude are sometimes reasons for
not listening well. A four-year- old child’s constant conversation
is likely to be ignored by most parents. A teenaged son or daughter
is similarly likely to ignore the parent’s constant caution about
driving rules, etc. Difference of age often makes one feel that the
person speaking cannot possibly have anything interesting or
relevant to say. This, often, creates an attitudinal block, which
results in the listener ignoring the message or assimilating it
partially.

2. Mental Set: Sometimes, the listener is already conditioned to

think that the speaker will adopt a particular attitude or a line of
argument. If a conversation begins with this kind of mind-set, it is
obvious that no ‘listening’ or communication will take place. The
listener might entirely ignore what the speaker says or listen to
only what he/she thinks the speaker will say. Meanings here will
be wrongly inferred and vital parts of the conversation will be
skipped.
This kind of a mind-set can be extremely harmful in both
professional and personal interaction. If one comes to the
negotiation table, for instance, with a closed mind determined to
reject the opponent’s proposal, there is little chance for the talks to
go forward and reach a resolution. In inter-personal situations,
similarly, if one is pre-determined to look at a person or his talk in
a particular light, there is little chance of our forming a correct
opinion about him and his views. Such conditioning often prevents
a bad situation from getting better. It makes one blind to the fact
that people might be willing to change, or be more
accommodative.

3. Language: Language can be yet another reason why people

do not hear correctly. It could be the problem of a French speaker
conversing in English or a Tamilian trying to speak in Hindi. The
mother-tongue interference plays a major role and prevents the
listener from listening correctly. It is important, therefore, to make
sure that we speak the language we are conversing in with
reasonable clarity.
While speaking English, especially, it is important to be aware
of our pronunciation, tone, pitch, modulation and stress.
Language can sometimes be very context specific. A group of
college boys and girls talking in the college canteen, for example,
can have an altogether different register. Slang might be used in
specific ways and words too might have different codes and
meanings. Listening here will mean being familiar with the
particular register. Unfamiliarity can become a barrier to listening.
In specific knowledge areas and professions certain words have
specific meanings.
Unless specified, these too can become barriers to listening
comprehension. The same is true of in-house acronyms.
 4.Careless Listening: It is a common sight to see people looking at
papers, sifting through lists or even fidgeting with objects like
paper weights while listening. This can put the speaker in a very
awkward position. He has no clue of what the reaction of the
listener is or even whether the listener is listening to him or not.
Such actions can be annoying for the speaker. It can also be seen
as a way of snubbing or dismissing what the speaker is saying.
Often, it can also indicate to the speaker that what he is saying is
not important for the listener. This kind of gesture can seriously
hamper communication if used by superiors at the workplace or in
any inter- personal communication. If the speaker does not feel
‘listened to’, the act of communication will always remain
incomplete. Listening in such cases, is bound to be partial. Even if
the facts are conveyed, understanding of the facts is generally
inadequate or incomplete.
Such habits are commonly observed during telephonic
conversations. Since the listener is not present right in front,
speakers often tend to do paper work, fidget or draw diagrams. The
speaker, in fact, should be more careful during a telephonic
conversation. The listener has no inputs from the speaker except
the voice, the pitch, the modulation and the pauses. Body language
and facial expressions are absent in this form of communication.
So the language being used, the pitch and modulation, and
especially the pauses have to be used very carefully to convey the
right shade of communication or even avoid miscommunicating!

GOOD LISTENING
A good listener will:
1. Try to understand the speaker’s perspective. It is not necessary to
agree with the speaker, but a good listener will always try to see
from the speaker’s perspective.
2. Listen with the whole body – As we have seen, the listener is as
active a participant in the act of conversation as the speaker is. For
the speaker, the body language of the listener is one of the most
important sources of getting feedback. The sitting posture, the
facial expression and eye contact are important clues for the
speaker to go on speaking or to stop. They can encourage,
discourage or even snub the speaker. If you want the speaker to
feel reassured, listen with your whole body, let the speaker know
that you are listening and you understand.
3. Do not judge prematurely – Since the brain can process speech
much faster than one can speak, it is easy to think ahead, judge the
talk and even evaluate the speaker and his talk. A good listener,
however, will always try to look at the speaker’s perspective, try
to understand why the speaker feels the way he/she feels. If you
want to be a good listener, therefore, avoid judging the speaker’s
talk or personality prematurely. Give some time. Try to understand
and then arrive at a conclusion.
 4. Go beyond the words of the speaker – As said before, a good
listener will always try to understand the speaker’s perspective.
But more than the words, it is important to understand the spirit,
the sentiment that keeps the conversation going. For good
listening, thus, it is necessary to not get stuck in the web of words.
One has to analyze the context, study the body language, and judge
the attitude of the speaker and the reasons why one is responding
the way he /she is. It is necessary, therefore to go beyond the words
of the speaker
5. Paraphrase the speaker – A good speaker, while listening, might
also paraphrase the speech of the speaker. This may not be a
detailed paraphrasing, but responding in a few words. Adding
nothing, changing nothing, asking no questions, just summarizing
the speaker’s thought and giving information about what has been
understood.

Active Listening means being deeply engaged in and attentive to what the speaker is
saying. It requires far more listening than talking. Your goal as an active listener is to
truly understand the speaker’s perspective (regardless of whether you agree) and to
communicate that understanding back to the speaker so that he or she can confirm the
accuracy of your understanding.

Examples of Active Listening Responses

1. Paraphrasing
Restate the same information, using different words to more concisely reflect what the
speaker said.Tests your understanding of what is heard by communicating your
understanding of what the speaker said. Allows the speaker to 'hear' and focus on his or
her own thoughts. Allows the speaker to see that you are trying to understand his/her
message and perceptions. Encourages the speaker to continue speaking.

2. Clarifying
Invite the speaker to explain some aspect of what she or he said. Gives the speaker the
opportunity to elaborate and clarify what was said. Gives you the opportunity to identify
anything that is unclear and to check the accuracy of your understanding

3. Reflecting
Relaying what was said back to the speaker to show that you understand how he/she
feels about something.
Deepens understanding of feelings and content.
Allows the speaker to see that you are trying to
understand his/her message and perceptions.

4. Summarizing
Identify, connect, and integrate key ideas and feelings in what
the speaker said. Helps both listener and speaker identify what
is most important to the speaker.

Tips for Active Listening

Do’s
• Listen More than you talk
• Let the speaker finish before you respond.
• Asks open-ended questions
• Remain attentive to what’s being said
• Be aware of your own biases
• Manage your own emotions
• Be attentive to ideas and problem-solving opportunities
• Give verbal and nonverbal messages that you are listening
• Listen for both feelings and content

Don’ts
• Dominate the conversation
• Interrupt
• Finish the speaker’s sentences
• Jump to conclusions
• Respond with blaming or accusatory language
• Become argumentative
• Demonstrate impatience or multitask
• Mentally compose your responses about what to say next
• Listen with biases or shut out new

SUMMARY

• Hearing is distinct from listening. It is listening alone that makes

a communication meaningful.
• Listening to somebody with the whole of your attention says,
“You matter to me”.
• We listen much faster than we can speak. ‘Understanding’ will fill
the gap in speed.
• In listening, the listener is as much involved as the speaker is.
• Careless listening can snub the speaker and halt the entire
communication process.
• To listen well, one does not have to agree with the speaker but try
and understand the speaker’s perspective.
• Since listening can be seen as fundamental to all communication,
poor listening can become a major barrier to communication.
• Listening is a much more conscious activity that demands a lot
more than just physical hearing.
• A person who listens well and engineers his body language
appropriately is considered a good conversationalist even though
he actually speaks less.
• An effective and active listener, after grasping the content of the
speaker, gets engaged in trying to understand him and looks at the
problem from the other person’s perspective and engineers his
body language appropriately giving the listener constant feed-
back.
• Selective listening is listening to parts of the conversation while
ignoring most of it.
• Attentive listening involves listening to the speaker completely,
attentively, without glossing over or ignoring any part of the
speech.
• Empathetic listening is the ultimate kind of listening that is done
not just to listen and understand, but understand the speaker’s
world as he sees it. It is getting into another person’s frame of
reference.
• Most of the problems in listening arise because of the discrepancy
in our speed of talk- ing and listening.
• Physical reasons, age and attitude, mental set, language and
quality of listening are some of the other factors that become either
barriers to or enablers of good listening.