MENTAL CONTROL

Volume I: SELF-ESTEEM & CHARISMA

FOR:

Dantalion Jones
TRADUÇÃO:

Edpo A. F. Macedo
 ANALYTICAL INDEX
INTRODUCTION

STARTING
Understand the Quality of Your Commitment
Be Flexible
Practice Every Day
Practice Throughout the Day

SEEUETIVESSEUMCULTO
Unification Is The Goal
The Mission
Meditate
Meditation #1 - Incredible Gratitude
Meditation #2 - Love Yourself
Meditation #3 - Talk to Your Future Self
Meditation #4 - Destiny
Meditation #5 - Reframing the Past
Meditação #6 - Questões
Meditation #7 - Meta-State of Meditation
Using Meta-States to Change Negative Emotions
Meditation #8 - Three Minds
Meditation #9 - The Ultimate Superpower
Meditation #10 - Royal Meditation
Staying "Connected"

IMPROVE YOUR SELF-ESTEEM

YOUR GIFT QUOTIENT

 INTRODUCTION
I am writing this manual for completely self-indulgent reasons. The first is to describe-
to document the mental exercises and personal philosophies that have made my life 'work'. For
to function I mean to get most of the things I want and to be emotionally, spiritually-
mentally, physically and financially healthy.

The second reason is to answer the question: "If I had an ongoing cult, what do I want"
what my followers learn and do?

Just as happens with all my books having 'mind control' in the title, I would like to
highlight why I am so anxious to use a loaded phrase. Like the word "hypnosis", the words
"Mental control" will only attract the attention of people who are interested in the subject. For those
people who are not interested in mind control, or find it offensive, good! I'm not de-
writing to these, and this will serve everyone better if they completely ignore me.

In this manual, you will find what and why of the practical experiments of happiness. That is,
what to do and why it works.

There will also be things that I won't tell you, and I won't tell you what they are. The reason for
the secret is that, truly, some people are not ready for the practice of certain skills
data. There is something called "initiatory wisdom," which simply means that you will not
learn the steps E, F, and G, until your teacher knows that you master A, B, C, and D, first
place. Yes, I could tell you these things, but I have no way of knowing if you are
mentally prepared, emotionally stable, or materially grounded enough to use them
responsibly. I have seen people eager for more knowledge pushing the limit too much
long and too fast, ending up spending a good part of their lives trying to clean the
mess.

The good news is that what I have here in this manual are the basics. The basic work.

The question you should ask is: "Should I trust you?" You should trust a guy.
who spent a large part of their life playing with people's minds... and their own?
You should trust a guy whose books often have the words 'mind control' in them.
place in the title? Should you trust a guy who writes using a pseudonym taken from a
arcane magic grimoire?

I want to hell with it! I am writing this manual for completely self-indulgent reasons,
Do you remember?

Dantalion Jones

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 STARTING
What I have learned from decades of trial and error in finding happiness is that being happy
requires A LOT of work. It is much easier to be miserable, and I found that many people, given a...
I would prefer to be lazy and suffer than to work to be happy. That said, here are four things
what you need to do and value in order to effectively use the skills I describe here... and
be happy.

Understand the Quality of Your Commitment

Be Flexible
3. Practice EVERY DAY
4. Practice Throughout the Day

UNDERSTAND THE QUALITY OF YOUR COMMITMENT

This is true. Many people prefer to be lazy and miserable than to work for
be happy. To be happy, you have to commit to being happy. It takes a lot of work.

Perhaps you will understand better if you consider that being happy is like being married... to yourself.
the same. The difference between this marriage and other types of marriages is that there is no divorce or annulment.
The concept gives a new meaning to the words "until death do us part."

It is a lifelong commitment, and if you take it seriously you will benefit beyond your dreams.
the most extravagant, along with all the people close to you.

It is also, without excuses, a completely selfish commitment. If you ever speak

about this for people you must be prepared to be called selfish and egocentric. Thus,
you must remember that they are saying that you have these qualities in order to manipulate you to
you feel guilty. Your best response is to ignore them. Better yet, never let them know about your
selfish commitment. Let them see only the effect of it, and envy it from afar.

As a lifelong commitment, you should also understand the ebb and flow of
happiness. By doing these exercises you will notice positive effects. There will be days when everything is easy and
you feel great. There will also be days when happiness seems to be an illusory mythical beast; not
No matter what you do, you just seem to find yourself angry, depressed, or scared. Don't-
sister.

The most twisted part of this ebb and flow is when things are going well. That is when
you might think that everything is working and you won't have to keep them so hard. Like an al-
coolatra who, successfully, stopped drinking for 90 days, you might think you don't have to be so vigilant.
The result is that you have loosened your commitment. Again, just like the drunk who 'falls out.'
of the wagon", you fall back into your old habits. You will know it is happening because you
look back at the days and weeks gone by and realize that you haven't been following the instructions. You
you will begin to notice a 'fog of melancholy' starting to creep over you.

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 By following these instructions, your job becomes to find a way, your own way,
spent a life of unproductive habits.

BE FLEXIBLE

Vamos encarar isso, merdas acontecem.

No matter how much control you gain over your environment, the unpredictable WILL happen.

This means that it is very likely that at some point there will be unwanted things for which you
never planned to happen: you lose a job, your partner has sex with someone
that is not you, your car gets destroyed, meteors fall from the sky and a million other things that you
you cannot imagine.

I know people who fear the unpredictable so much that they spend all their energy trying
control things and people around you. They make efforts to avoid interactions, and even the
a minor thing out of order (toilet paper is rolled incorrectly) is reason enough
For anxiety, anger, and aggression. How happy do you think they are?

They have not embraced, recognized, or valued being flexible as much as this way of
art is truly.

Where to start with flexibility? It is safe to say that if you want to be miserable, the way
the fastest way to do it is to think only in binary terms. In other words, everything is black or white,
Off or on, you are either happy or miserable, to have it or not to have it. To be flexible you must learn
to think in degrees. That is why some of the most successful therapies for anxiety require
that the subject measures their anxiety on a scale from zero to ten. This is completely a new thought.
ment for many anxious patients. As soon as they start to realize how feelings can
change in degrees, they begin to connect these changes to things they can do. They learn to
be more flexible by thinking about things in degrees instead of having black or white terms
just. It is interesting to note that, in the realm of evolution, it is the most adaptable species that survives.

The highest form of flexible life is achieved when you realize that you are not obligated.
to react emotionally, as I used to do. People say 'you make me feel like trash', like
if someone else controlled your emotions. However, emotions, as primordial as they can be,
they are still choices. Yes, emotions are choices.

I have done this before, and it is very hard to do, but I faced people who spoke about me with anger.
and the disdain, and I chose to look into their eyes and feel completely at peace. Every part of me wanted
interrupt, defend myself and go on a counterattack, but rationally I knew I would do nothing. All
my attention was focused on driving them mad until they were exhausted, while I wanted to
to feel calm, loved, and at peace. For me, this is the ultimate form of flexibility and freedom. This really
it is the highest path.

PRACTICE EVERY DAY

Yes, EVERY DAY. Personally, I recommend at least 30 minutes in the morning for
Start your day. If you start your day intentionally focusing your mind towards happiness.
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and well-being, then even a bad day can progress.

When you look at what it takes, it’s probably a good idea to remember why this
the book was written. Yes, I set aside an hour a day to "practice" mental control.

PRACTICE DURING THE DAY

Part of your commitment is to be vigilant throughout the day. This does not mean that you have to
thinking the same thought every moment of every day. This behavior would demonstrate the type
ruin of mind control cult. It is also impossible to do.

Practicing throughout the day simply means taking a moment to reflect on how you are.
and make any changes you need to feel better and more in control.

If you are religious by nature, this could be a daily prayer or vigil. If you are an athlete
this would be your training time. If none of these examples appeal to you, then do the
your own. The bottom line is that you should put the time aside.

IF I HAD A CULT...

Okay, if I really had a cult going on, I would place some very strong emphases.
in the four points that I just covered:

1. Understand the Quality of Your Commitment

2. Be Flexible
Practice EVERY DAY
4. Practice Throughout the Day

Combining these four points helps to create for you (or your followers) a set of
finished with values (commitment and flexibility) and a simple structure of activities for the day.

The activities are not designed to interfere with the responsibilities of others, and are not
so rigid that they fit into the classic cult of "thought-nullifying" activities.

HYPNOSIS

There are several places where you can learn hypnosis. I developed a website that has
eight hypnosis sessions specially designed for download. I personally created each hypnosis section to
help those who hear them. All hypnosis downloads are free. Visit [Link]-
[Link].

Download the mp3s and listen to one a day.

IF I HAD A CULT...

Hypnosis would be a requirement if I had a cult. Depending on how much I wanted to influence...
To organize people, I could create hierarchies of members that ranged from those who were new to
hypnosis for those who fell dead in sleepwalking who did something instructed by the
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hypnosis.

UNIFICATION IS THE GOAL

Unification is a very simple term. It means 'to become one'. In the context of learning to be
Happy means ensuring that all your diverse 'parts' are working towards a common goal.

How does this happen?

The answer comes from the study of group dynamics and the study of methods used to lead the
team members to work together more efficiently. Just consider, for a moment,
what would happen if a team of people was highly focused and motivated to achieve a
single objective. When a team is unified, great things begin to happen.

The Mission

The first thing that brings a group together is that everyone understands the mission, objective, or result.
desired final stage. No business succeeds when employees do not agree with the product
to do, and they don't know what their job is.

Unfortunately, most of our inner lives are much like this type of organization without
direction. The direction of our life is then directed by fleeting desires instead of a consistent purpose
try. Many times, there will be moments when there are "parts" vying for attention, and the result is that in a
one moment you want to be healthy and fit, and the next moment you want a cigarette and a bucket of
chicken.

The solution is to gather all your wishes together under the aegis of a greater goal or
purpose. That is why Olympic athletes may seem so one-sided in thought under their
forces towards a gold medal. The same is true for business owners who want
to succeed and parents who want the best for their children; all of its various 'parts' are focused
for a single purpose. Just say that when you are focused this way, a LOT of things
are made.

So what do you do?

You define your goal and dedicate all your various "parts" to its successful completion.
You must do a self-examination. You should ask yourself why you
want, and what is important for you to achieve from this. I personally recommend that you
write a lot about your 'purpose' and 'destiny'. Make the decision that you have a destiny... a
great destiny... even if you still don't know what it is.

If you are looking for your destination, start by examining the things you like to do,
and look at the things you might want to dedicate your life to achieving.

After finding your destination, the rest of your self-examination, and your life, is about perfecting.
your ability to fulfill your destiny. Like sharpening a tool or polishing a mirror, you can
always find space for improvement.

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 Some steps that tremendously help with this type of self-examination are described in
several meditations, further ahead in this manual.

IF I HAD A CULT...

Unification and a sense of Mission are very good things to have, even if you don't possess them.
a cult. However, when you combine these qualities with the support that a larger group offers
ece... observe!

This is where you have to be VERY clear about your own Mission, because if the Mission of the cult
it doesn't perfectly align with your own mission, then things will start to get out of control.
It's never a good sign when a group starts stockpiling weapons.

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 MEDITATE
Meditation, for the purposes of this manual, is, at any moment, setting yourself aside to focus
your thoughts. Your focus could be to empty the mind or concentrate on a single thought,
feeling or idea.

Most of the instructions I provide in this manual can be used as a single form of
meditation, but you will find that you can also use them as mental tools throughout the
day, which will provide you with benefits.

Meditation #1 - Immense Gratitude

This is a GREAT meditation to start the day. I highly recommend you start it.
even before getting out of bed.

Start by thinking of something you are grateful for. It could be small or large, so,
pode ser que você ainda tem um emprego, ou que você ame sua esposa. Você tem que pensar de quantas
possible things, no matter how significant. When ideas appear, your silent mind-
mind SHOUTS expressions of enthusiastic gratitude. This is not the time to think gently, so
Say/think things like "Oh my GOD I am SO grateful to have a job!" are encouraged.

The key to this meditation is to do it with the intention of building a moment when the pen-
thoughts flow by themselves. This may take some time, so don't give up. Think intensely, intensely,
intense.

IF I HAD A CULT...

If I had a cult, I would ensure that we practiced this meditation regularly. There are
some groups that have 'satsang', where teachings and meditations are held daily or weekly
given. This would be one of the regular meditations I would use. Like most of these meditations, it is
simple enough for someone to instruct another on how to teach it.

Meditation #2 - Loving Yourself

Unless you are blessed or gifted, you will find that relationships are,
to say the least, a challenge. You may have lived your life enough to realize that, despite
from what all the commercials "[Link]" are saying, you have never found your soulmate
<laughter>.

Culture has encouraged us to believe that we are not complete until someone else completes us.
<ach... laughs> I'm sorry. This places an unrealistic burden on people, and leaves you powerless to feel.
know yourself well. Very often, we unconsciously try to recreate those relationships
failed mentos from childhood just so that we can fix them. We forget that if
a relationship is designed to break, so it is doing exactly what it is supposed to... it

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it's not broken. How many people do you know who keep trying new relationships?
born to have them failing in the same way?

This next meditation is designed to help you fill the empty space that these beliefs
They create. It is also designed to directly challenge the figurative and literal defeats that the ego brings.
as we grow and learn to meet the expectations of others.

As much as we all want some ideal relationship with one (or more) people in the
our lives, we seem to completely forget that relationship we cannot escape. The re-
relationship that we have with ourselves.

You forget due to the fact that it doesn't matter where you go or who you are, you have to
take yourself with you. Even when you are alone, you will still have to be there. Also
this is based on the fact that all the good things you have ever experienced happened because you
was there to try them.

For reasons that will soon become obvious, you should do this meditation when you are
completely alone. You can do it during a prescribed meditation time so that
you can give your full attention. You can also do it as a simple thought exercise
while you drive alone in your car, or even while you are in the bathroom.

She starts by imagining how you would like to be spoken of by someone who truly
but you. You imagine the tone of the words, the timing, and the sincerity of the words. You will tam
I can imagine the exact words you would like to hear.

The next step is simple: you say those exact words to yourself exactly as
you would like to hear them. Say them to yourself with feeling until you start to feel
Beloved. The goal is to achieve the feeling of being loved... by oneself.

There are certain things you can tell yourself that will help you feel
to be loved. The first is to promise to do everything in your power to ensure your happiness and health. Promise
contribute to your health in all areas: physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, and in relationships
Mentos. Promise yourself that you will abandon all self-sabotages because... you love.
to oneself. Keep speaking with love in your heart.

As you practice this on a daily basis, you can start to review your actions and recon-
do what you have been doing well. These acknowledgments help to confirm the love that is developing.
I sell to myself.

With this true love in your experiences, you will start to notice a change in the way you
interacts and perceives people. If you are without a partner, you will be more patient with others and will let go of
Any sense of urgency to be loved. Not being desperate for love gives someone an attractive air.
of trust and makes interactions easier.

There is also a sense of patience that you will gain with others, especially those
that do not fulfill your ideals of the type of relationship you want with them. Why? Because
you are already loved.

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 With patience, you will be more able to sit with annoying people until your business with them is done.
to be done. When this is done, you can then withdraw without a troubled mind.

Another benefit is that there is less urgency to create those relationships full of meaning.
I hope that you may want. You can also seek and develop those pro-relationships.
loving fundamentals, but you will now do it with more compassion and less from a position of
trying to fill a hungry need.

Necessary Comments

Of course, doing something similar to this last exercise goes very much against our brainwashing.
Puritanical morality, which attempts to induce humility through self-hatred. It is likely that anyone a)
you are thinking you would feel stupid or guilty for doing such an 'egocentric' meditation
or b) if your family members knew that you were doing this meditation, they would think that you
is going to hell for being so selfish.

First, consider that if you cannot take care of yourself, you live like a bad ex-
job to take care of no one.

If your concern is that you might become a pathological narcissist, then consider that a
narcissist lives to experience external validation, that is, from other people. This meditation is about
create an internal validation that is so strong that you won't need it from others anymore. This is,
at least, the goal.

IF I HAD A CULT...

This meditation is simple enough to understand, but has enough depth that it can
to be clarified in several ways and about various lessons.

Western culture has invested a great deal of energy in teaching people to

stop with unrealistic ideas. The result is that when it comes to issues of self-acceptance,
many of us have baggage... some of us have a load.

You will notice that when people love each other in healthy ways, they are better people.
happy and benevolent.

Meditation #3 - Talking to Your Future Self

I like all these meditations, but this one holds a special place in my heart because
she is like having a wise and gentle mentor giving you encouragement and reminding you of your greatness
purpose. It takes a little more than good imagination.

To begin, imagine that you are in direct communication with your future self. Your future self is
wiser and more focused, who completed all his goals. His goals are your goals.
And he is advising you what to do to complete them. He would know, after all, he is you!

This meditation can be done in various ways, just as I give these suggestions, mix them up.
Do as you see fit in order to create your own powerful meditation.
9
 Your future self has completed all of your goals and possesses all the wisdom of any good man.
Your future self is also kind and patient with you because he or she knows what you did and
it will pass.

Invite your future self to look through your eyes and remember what he or she went through.
When you do this, imagine that your future self is guiding you. As you practice
Yes, you will start to take on all the thoughts and qualities of this future me. This is a ver-
are about time travel where the consciousness of the future self is traveling back in time to
look through your eyes.

If the future can travel back in time to look through your eyes, then the reverse is
also possible. You can imagine yourself transplanting your consciousness into the mind of your future self.
This will give you a sense of perspective regarding your grand vision.

To take a step further, as you look through the eyes of this future me, start to remember all the
things you had to complete in order to achieve your goals. Add to that all the obstacles that
you overcame and the creative resources you developed to assist you and enhance your power. For doing
this variation of meditation, you are traveling back in time to events that have not yet happened!

Meditation #4 - Destiny

I tried to describe this mental process in several other books, and each time I think I haven't.
I did it right. Wish me luck.

Fait Accompli is a French phrase that literally means 'a fait accompli'.
For example, there are certain weapons that have a 'fail-safe' mechanism so that once the weapon is
fired, they cannot be returned, stopped, or redirected. Once they are fired,
your destructive conclusion is a fait accompli.

This is how you want to think about your goals and destiny. They are all inevitable, and every
Action, thought, and decision will be designed to take you to your goal.

This is how you think about everything you do.

Consider that you want something. Maybe it's a promotion or a new car, or maybe
to be in a wonderful relationship. Whatever that may be, it is now your goal.

For most of us, this is where we stop. We have a goal and a hope that the
alcançaremos. Nós podemos até ter um plano de tipos para alcançá-lo, mas se este é um objetivo no fu-
distant future, so reaching it may be a vague hope.

When you start to think that this goal is a fait accompli, as if it were a certainty,
he becomes part of your destiny. Seeing your goal as a fait accompli leads to having two
psychological effects. First, it creates a feeling of calm. It also creates a focused sense of
obligation to fulfill this goal. With these two feelings in place, life begins to take a
"flow" that is constantly directed towards its destination.

IF I HAD A CULT...
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 The possible drawback of this meditation is that its effects may fade. When people
they feel a sense of destiny in the same way I describe, they are motivated in ways that the
they make it seem like they are forces of nature. Time, distractions, and other events in life can reduce
this value of destination in the hierarchy of needs. When this happens, important things (such as
your destination) can be replaced by urgent things (like paying a utility bill).

Thus, when someone finally has a sense of destiny, it is a good idea to encourage them to
create an environment around them that consistently supports this feeling of destiny.

In a group setting such as a cult, it is good to offer support systems that help to
keep people in line. This can simply be regular support meetings where people
they reaffirm their commitments and suddenly imagine their plans.

If it's good enough for the AA, then it's good enough for you. It works.

Meditation #5 - Reframing the Past

This is a very simple exercise that has a strong effect. I used it and asked others to use it.
assemble it too. The results consistently include nothing negative and everything positive. If you
If you read my other books or listened to my CDs, you will find that I recommended this exercise at the end.

The result you will get is that few things will bother you, especially old memories.
The problem that this exercise tries to solve is our tendency to dwell on past events.
which should no longer have an impact on us.

For example, have you ever been driving in your car while reliving the words of a...
argument in your head and practicing the words you wish you had said? This is a great example
on how we have the habit of wasting time and emotion. If you prefer to use your mind and emotions
but effectively living a happier life, so learning this exercise is recommended.

Please do not underestimate how much this simple exercise can improve your life.

Este exercício será primeiro descrito nos seus passos componentes, e depois um comentário será
given at the end.

Step 1 - Choose an event that you would classify as "less than pleasant." If this is
one of the first times you are practicing this, DO NOT select a huge trauma,
pick, instead, something that is merely embarrassing or annoying. After having a bit of
practice with small annoying memories, so you can move on to the bigger ones.

Step 2— With your eyes closed, recall the memory of that event.

Step 3 - Change your viewpoint within the memory by imagining that you are seeing it alongside.
watching the event from a short distance. You do not
would then remember the same through your own eyes, but you would see yourself in
your memory as if you were watching on TV.

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 Step 4 - From this new perspective, stop all movement and make it a static image.
of frames and, using your hands (you must move your hands) draw a frame around
from the image.

Step 5 - Again using your hands, move them over the framed image and make a 'fall-'
"action" in the imaginary portrait so that it is completely white.

Step 6 - Consider what you have learned from this experience. It could be something wise or yes-
However, from any experience there is a lesson that can be learned. When you have
this lesson, use your index finger to write it on the now whitewashed board.

Step 7 - Using your hands, take the image with the lesson written on it and throw it FAR AWAY
behind you.

Final Step. You will know it is done when you revisit the memory and everything you perceive.
it is the lesson learned rather than the emotional discomfort.

Detailed Review of the Process

The memory you choose is the one that has some uncomfortable emotional burden attached to it.
By 'stepping out of the picture' in Step 3, you gain some distance and perspective that are the same
literal and figurative times. By stopping the movement of memory in Step 4, it becomes less dynamic and
easier to change it than when a frame is drawn around it. Memory is separate from
everything else, this way you are more impartial. Step 5 creates even more distance by throwing it even further.
far from you.

When you write the lesson you learned on a whitewashed board, you are replacing the
emotion of the memory with the lesson you learned from it.

Finally, by placing the image behind you, the memory is placed where people typically
they put things in their minds that are not important.

More Good Advice About This Meditation

As mentioned at the beginning, if you have never done this before, it is best to start with a memory.
less than a great trauma of life. As you achieve success with this technique, you
you can move to more uncomfortable memories.

You will only need to deal with one memory at a time. There is no benefit in digging up...
random

For better results, do this process for at least 21 memories. If you do this
often, the mind starts to generalize the process so that it happens automatically
quando refletindo sobre o passado. Tome um momento para ler essa sentença novamente... é
important. For this reason, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you vote to use it by
less than three times a day for a week.

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 When you have just a little experience with this technique, you will be able to do it.
quickly without all the hand gestures.

My experience with this meditation was that after trying it for a week, as described,
it became difficult to remember any memory that I hadn't already dealt with. Subjectively, I was feeling
a noticeably good humor. People I asked to do this meditation regularly report
the same results.

IF I HAD A CULT...

The results of this meditation are cumulative for most people. If I were in...
joining this group, I would require them to make a commitment to do this med-
meditation every day... every day... for a week.

A week doing this is enough to show people that it will help them. This means
not asking them to do it, but requiring them to do it. Here, holding them accountable is everything, so,
Let them know that at the next meeting, they will have to share the results of this meditation.

Meditation #6 - Questions

This meditation is wonderfully effective when properly understood and taken seriously.
It's all about asking the right questions.

Questions, for better or worse, focus the mind's attention when trying to answer them. That's why
self-pity is so rich with the question 'Why me?'. If you ask 'Why me?' enough
In the end, all you will have is the answer to why you, and you will not get any answer to how.
make your life better. Why? Because you didn't ask that question. Duh!

In personal interactions, you can observe how questions are used to guide debate.
mentos. There is an abundance of people who only argue by asking questions. Their goals do not
is to get answers, because they are very likely to ignore any sincere answers to their questions.
Instead, all they want is to control the argument, and questions can do exactly that.
that.

So, start by asking the right questions and then answering them. Here are some
good examples of useful questions to use in this meditation:

What is impressive about this situation?

What do I LOVE about myself right now?
How am I going to make today amazing?
Why am I extremely wonderful?
How can I turn this situation into an opportunity?

When asking these questions, it is important to give an answer, any answer, that is positive.
It can be short, complicated, or even trivial, but you have to give an answer. Saying 'nothing'
"I don’t know" is not an answer. Also, don’t stop at a question and freely make the same.
ask again and again, even if your answers are the same answers.

13
 Set aside 10 to 20 minutes to diligently perform this meditation. Make a detailed note.
about how you feel at the beginning of meditation and compare it with what you feel when the meditation
It is complete. You will be surprised.

IF I HAD A CULT...

This is a very dramatic meditation, because the results can be observed at the same time.
Time. The difficulty is that we tend to slide back into old thinking patterns.
when we are not focused on asking the right questions. That’s why doing it for at least 10 min-
The daily habits are so important. The good feelings that this creates are often enough to remind
to continue doing this, and especially to do it when you are feeling stuck.

Teaching this to a group is easy and can be done by dividing people into pairs.
Person A describes a situation that creates bad feelings. Person B then starts to do
the right questions and gives Person A time to respond. Person B continues along this line of
positive questioning for a certain period of time. Then, people A and B exchange their
positions.

Meditation #7 - Meta-State of Meditation

The origins of this meditation should be credited to Michal Hall, who discovered the Meta-This-
two as part of your study in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).

To begin with, understand that a 'state' refers to a mental and emotional condition, such as
joy, anger, love, satisfaction, fear, anxiety, curiosity and so on. Let's call this
of "initial state".

A 'meta-state' is a feeling about a feeling, which means that while you can
feeling "anger" from a situation or event, you can add to it other feelings, such as
guilt about your anger. Guilt is a meta-state because it is a feeling about the initial feeling.

With this simple understanding, you can start to see how you are helping yourself or harming yourself.
guiding, and making positive changes to any emotional state you may be experiencing.

To use this meditation effectively, start with the initial state and the situation that created it.

For example, you are at the checkout of a supermarket and the employee behaves in a
a way that is rude and offensive to you. Your initial state is anger, but you don't say anything about it.
and move on. After some rumination about the event, you feel anger at yourself for not having
say nothing to the clerk. This rage about your anger is a meta-state. Now, when you think
about the event, its meta-state (not the initial state) is what you perceive.

Taking the same event, and your new understanding of meta-states, you can modify the
meta-state and alter your memory experience. The event remains the same, the employee becomes
door in a way that is rude and offensive and you are still angry, without saying anything. Later,
You realize that if you had said something, the problem could have escalated. Thus, you are relieved.
for not having said anything. Relief is a meta-state. Now, when you think about the event, you realize the
relief.
14
 In this example, there is a marked difference in how you would feel depending on which
meta-state you use.

Any negative emotional state can be changed to a positive one using a meta-state.
positive. To illustrate this, start with this simple exercise. Begin with an unclear emotional state.
Set aside, for example: anger. Now proceed according to the following steps and notice how you feel.

Feel anger about your anger. How do you feel?

Feel frustration about your anger. How do you feel?
Feel curiosity about your anger. How do you feel?
Feel relief about your anger. How do you feel?
Feel satisfaction about your anger. How do you feel?
Feel guilty about your anger. How do you feel?

You can even go ahead by applying more than one meta-state to the initial state. Try this.
using other emotional states:

Feel ashamed about your guilt over your anger. To simplify this process, first, bring
the feeling of anger, then bring your guilt about your anger, then shame about the guilt. How
How do you feel?

Feel joy about your enthusiasm regarding your frustration. To simplify, bring the feeling of
frustration, and then enthusiasm about the frustration, and joy about the enthusiasm. How do you feel?

Feel relief about your curiosity regarding your joy. In other words, bring the feeling of happiness.
joy, then curiosity about joy, and then relief about curiosity.

Using Meta-States to Change Negative Emotions

The amazing part about this process is how quickly it can have an effect on emotions.
negative.

Step 1 - The Event & The Initial State

Comece com o evento ou situação que criou a emoção negativa. Lembre-se do evento e a sensação
negative that he generated. Identify the emotion by name, thus revealing the initial state (anger,
sadness, frustration, embarrassment, others.

Step 2 - The Meta-State

Start by applying a positive meta-state. This is done by thinking about the initial negative state.
in terms of positive emotions (feeling relieved about your anger, happy about your frustration, an-
(hint about your embarrassment).

Some people may believe that they must first justify why they would have these meta-
states. "Why would I feel happy about my frustration?" It doesn't matter how you justify having
these positive meta-states. The more you do this, the better you will get at it and it won't take long.
a lot.
15
 Continue to add positive meta-states to the process until you are feeling them most of the time.
positive times about the original event.

Step 3 - Return to the Original Event

The final step is to test how well you have done.

Just think about the original event. If the meditation of the meta-states worked, then you
You will perceive the final meta-state instead of the initial state when thinking about the original event.

IF I HAD A CULT...

If I had a cult, I would spend a lot of time setting it up. The reason is that it deals with
many of the abstract ideas.

Once you made it clear that people can have 'feelings about feelings', you
you can start playing with the idea. "What would it be like to feel happy about your guilt?" or "What happens
when do you feel indifferent about your anger?

Once you have done this for a while, you may have them working with feelings and situations.
actions that are part of your daily life.

Meditation #8 - Three Minds

This is another meditation that needs a bit of explanation, and I hope to do it justice.
here.

There are philosophers who will propose that as humans, we are made not by a mind but
three minds, the mind that thinks, the mind that feels, the mind that does. The problem that humans have pos-
following three minds is that they tend to emphasize one mind to neglect, and sometimes exclude, the
two other minds. The problems that arise from these obstacles in each of us in ways that
we cannot easily see for ourselves.

Those who emphasize the thinking mind may neglect the doing mind and may not be able
to act until they are convinced that they know something about the subject. Thus, nothing is done.

Those who emphasize the feeling mind can become great artists, but they can
to suffer paralysis from the humors. They can only act when they 'feel' appropriate.
When the right feeling passes, they end the action. They can also act impulsively without
provision for the consequences of your actions.

Those who emphasize the doing mind may seem like a whirlwind of activity, but
action does not necessarily equate to an end, and things may rarely never finish.

This meditation is designed to bring the three minds into balance. By doing it, each thought
useful is accompanied by a motivating emotion and productive action that will bring the thought in re-
alidade.

16
 Meditation is simple. First, notice any thought, feeling, or action that you
you are experiencing. The next step is for you to ask yourself if all your minds are balanced,
and then do what is necessary to bring the three minds together.

For example, suppose you have a business idea that excites you at the moment. Ideal-
mind, you would be able to maintain that emotion and act upon it. For this meditation, you sit
stop, even if just for a moment, and evaluate all three minds so that each one will
your part to help him achieve his goal. Here are some questions you can ask in this
meditation to help clarify your needs.

How will I keep my motivation all the way to the end?

How will I be sure that I have enough information to act, but not wait too long?

What are the first steps I can take NOW to get this moving?

IF I HAD A CULT...

If I had a cult, I would teach this meditation as part of the 'initiate wisdom', which
it means that I would not simply teach it to the first person who is interested. This per-
she will ask that you teach her as an 'advanced topic' for the group's more enthusiastic members.

Why? Because it has to be applied in real-life situations, and the people who have more prob-
The ability to really use this tool is for those who stay nearby and did everything.
other things that preceded it.

You can do this by teaching her however you want, emphasizing each of the three minds,
and then, all of them together.

Meditation #9 - The Ultimate Superpower

This meditation is designed to help you integrate everything into a single skill. This skill-
Dad is indeed a superpower that anyone can have, but few truly master.
the superpower of being able to always make the right decision that will guide you to your destiny.

To make this meditation work better, it is important to obtain a clear concept of what it is.
superpower and what it does.

There is a subtle quality to this superpower that will never be apparent to the outside world,
because decisions are made all the time. People who do not have this superpower are unconscious
from most of the decisions they make. This is because most people really do not make
divisions, instead, they have reactions.

Someone who possesses this superpower does not react to events, they decide what response to have.
the most positive long-term result that would guide them towards their destination. Through this super-
power, its purpose, destination and goals are helping to make decisions for them.

The benefit of thinking of it as a superpower is to empower it, and to treat it as if it were under
17
your own control. Like a comic book hero with a secret superpower that you could
call when it is most necessary to help and guide you.

Decisions

When you know you have a destination, decisions become clearer. Every moment becomes
a chance to make a realizable decision.

For many of us, there are decisions that seem too small to have significant consequences.
about our destination; the decision between having an onion or garlic bagel, for example. That changes
when you invoke your superpower. With this superpower, as you support, you can look
for the so-called "small" decisions as an opportunity to connect with your dis-
tino. The short-term consequences of choosing between an onion bagel or a garlic bagel can be in-
significant, but at that moment of decision, you can act as if you were guided by something greater
and make your choice with conviction, which affirms that you will be able to achieve your goals and accomplish the
your destiny.

What this superpower changes in these small decisions is not WHAT you decide (bubble)
or garlic?), but HOW you respond at that moment.

Thinking of yourself as having this superpower can be an empowering experience.

of the ego, but it is necessary to moderate your ego while maintaining this secret superpower. Like Superman,
Spider-Man and Green Lantern, you must stay safe and keep those around you safe, never letting go.
let others know your secret.

One thing you can do is create a symbol that represents your superpower. This is
often referred to as an icon or a sigil. You can think of it as similar to the letter
"S" of Superman, or the symbol that is on the Green Lantern's ring.

Creating Your Icon

There is no defined rule for how to make your superpower icon. What matters is
that, when it's over, it's all yours and it reminds you of your superpower.

Some ideas for designing your superpower icon are:

- A design that is made to look like a coat of arms;

A word that has meaning for you. You can modify this word artistically.
like many brands of commercial products do;
Use the letters of your superpower to start your design. Keep refining it until
it may be perfect. It may not look anything like the way it started;
Use an image of an animal that personifies your superpower;
Be as artistic and creative as you prefer.

Using Your Icon

Remember that the purpose of your icon is twofold: to remind you that you have the superpower of
good decisions and, especially, to invoke and use your superpower whenever you make a
18
decision.

For this purpose, there are several things you can do with your icon:

Place an image of him in a personal meditation space so that you can have time.
to concentrate on him.
― Tattoo it on your body.
Put it on a badge that you can sew onto your jacket.
Print it on a t-shirt.
Engrave it on a medallion or coin to carry with you.

For various reasons, it is advisable that you never mention your superpower or its meaning.
to your superpower icon. If someone asks what it means, just say "that's personal." and let it be.
That's exactly why. Remember that the longer you keep your secret superpower, the stronger
she becomes.

Meditation #10 - Royal Meditation

When hearing the word meditation, many tend to think of sitting in the lotus position with the
closed eyes and focusing on a mantra or some spiritual image. Up to this point, I have denied
licensed this type of meditation, so here it goes.

I refer to this meditation as 'Prima A Priori'.

Before everything or the first beginning, and it is designed

to bring the mind to a single focus and calm the mind. When done correctly, it is pleasant and
energizing.

Sit in a comfortable position with your eyes closed.

Take a deep breath and relax.

3. Think of some form of energy that is in your consciousness. This could be the energy that
you use to sit, either the force of gravity or Chi or 'love', if you think of it as a
energy, whatever you can imagine.

4. Once you have in mind the concept of energy to focus on, ask yourself
what form of energy preceded it.

5. After having a concept of what form of energy this would be, ask yourself what preceded it.

6. Continue the process until you can go no further. Imagine that the energy 'first to first
"is filling your body, and your body is expanding to the size of the universe.

7. Do this for 10 to 60 minutes.

IF I HAD A CULT...

19
 If I had a cult, I would make sure there were hours for group meditation. These
they could be morning meditations or evening meditations with instructions.

Group meditations are simple. After going through the instructions, set a time limit.
in which everyone meditates. There is no chatter or any teaching further on, and
Everyone remains silent for the scheduled time.

The meditation "Prima A Priori" is ideal for this purpose.

Becoming 'Hasty'

Being 'precipitated' is another way of saying that someone is pushing your buttons so that
you feel anger, sadness, guilt, or some other negative emotion. It also describes an event
that causes the same negative emotions. Think about a conversation that turned into an argument.
think of a hurtful comment someone said to you that made you angry.
it left you sad. In both cases, you lost all conscious control of your emotional state, and
it was hasty.

Now, consider all the possible alternative responses in which you choose to react calmly.
It seemed like you were guided by a greater purpose. Could you have done better? I think so.

No matter how impossible it seems, you don't have to rush again. I'm not going to suggest that
it's easy, just that this is possible.

To successfully get rid of precipitation, it is better to clarify your sense of purpose in life.
your purpose or destiny. By doing this, you will create a wonderful perspective for yourself, where you
you can look at your actions and evaluate them calmly. Some of these actions will help you towards the
its purpose, others do not. Being hasty, with very few exceptions, will only waste your
time, spend your energy, and cloud your mind.

The next thing you need to do is take responsibility for your emotional reactions.
This means that, at your best, you will never say any of the following phrases:

You drive me crazy.

You make me feel like crap!
I am having an anxiety attack.
The traffic is driving me crazy.
Anxiety is pouring out.

Why you should exclude these phrases and that kind from your vocabulary? Because they all portray
feelings as being out of your control. When you are not in control of your feelings,
so you are not responsible for them.

So, what to say then?

I chose to feel crazy.

I choose to feel like crap.
I am choosing to feel anxiety.
20
 In traffic, I choose to feel insane.
I am deciding to feel anxiety.

Try to say these things a few times meaningfully, and you are likely to do one of three.
things:

Shut your mouth before saying something so stupid and try to gain more control.
Make a better choice of emotion.
3) Decide that it is easier to be out of control and surrender, meaning "to get muddied like
a hippopotamus in any emotion that is present.

If you decide that number 3 is no longer an option, here are some steps you can take
take to avoid being hasty:

Get a GOOD hypnotist and have them do some unconscious programming with you.
to gain more emotional control.

For more immediate needs, you can do the following:

Reaffirm to yourself that you chose to feel this way.

3) Take some slow, deep breaths and repeat the word 'calm' or 'peace'. This
will help you gain quick control over your body's typical fight or flight responses.
in a precipitated state, it is likely that you are more tense than usual. Observe the various
tensions in the body and try to relax each of them.

4) Pay attention to your facial muscles. They hold and reveal your emotions. When you
pay attention to your facial muscles, when you are rushed, you will notice the tension. Try
focus on relaxing ALL your facial muscles, so that your face expresses only peace and
calm. Your emotional state will begin to reflect a greater sense of calm and control.

5) In your free time, create an "Emotional Storm Cell" or "bunker". Storm cells-
They were created for families to hide when hurricanes approach.
After the storm cell, they were safe from the violent weather outside. A bunker.
do the same thing, only it is used in cases of war, when the cities are being good-
bardeadas. Your Emotional Storm Cell (or bunker) is an imaginary construction that is
safe, provided, and encouraging. Unlike the proverbial "happy place" that can be spoken of.
passage, the Cell of Emotional Storm will create feelings of calm and security always
what is imagined, regardless of what is happening in your environment.

To create your Emotional Storm Cell, think of a place or sanctuary in the depths of
land is protected by four-meter-thick reinforced concrete walls. Many pes-
They say that the best feature of the Emotional Storm Cell is the thick walls.
reinforced, so thick that no sound from the outside can be heard. In fact, it is
so thick that it protects you from all unwanted painful emotions. Inside it is full
of everything you can imagine that gives you good feelings and a sense of security.

Keep in mind that this is a mental construction, so use your imagination to make it.
21
 suitable for you. Feel free to thicken the walls or bury your bunker deeper-
mind to protect you.

Spend some time going to your Emotional Storm Cell, so that just by thinking
About her, you might gain a highlight of calm in demand.

6) See if you are treating your events as opportunities. Seriously, when you get caught up...
in a little control over your emotional responses, you start to feel REALLY
good.

IF I HAD A CULT...

This section on 'Being Hasty' could very easily serve as the central theme of the meeting.
group. The reason is that she speaks with the desire for control that is within each of us. She also
talks about how we all want to live and act, but we find ourselves falling short.

When you combine the concepts of Destiny, Self-Love, and gaining control over your ...
emotions with a strategy on how to do this, you will have a powerful system that people will
want to use and follow.

What's Next?

The following sections of this manual are about self-esteem and then about the theme of charisma.
Many of the so-called cults try to control people by destroying their self-esteem, and that's why I think
that what follows would be of great benefit to the people I would call 'my followers'.

The following section, 'Improve Your Self-Esteem,' fits very well into group activities.
and the teachings would also be useful as something to offer to their followers who may be referred to
Give periodically for your benefit. Read it. Enjoy it. Have fun!

22
 IMPROVE YOUR SELF-ESTEEM
INTRODUCTION

Esteem is a simple word. It denotes the importance and value we place on people.
places and situations. It is the amount of respect that we evaluate. We hold certain leaders in esteem. We have
We hold esteem for places such as religious or historical buildings. We value exemplary performance,
be it in sports, action, or simply doing the right thing.

However, the most important place we need to apply esteem is within ourselves.
we must maintain our self-esteem in order to value ourselves as a worthy individual in the world.
Moreover, self-esteem affects every part of our lives. If it is low, our life is monotonous and
Gray. Raising self-esteem could very well be one of the keys to happiness in life.

Most feelings and thoughts about oneself float in some way based
in daily experiences. The grade you get on a test, how your friends treat you, and the highs and
Low points in a romantic relationship can have a temporary impact on your well-being.

Your own self-esteem, however, is something more fundamental than the normal roller coaster.
associated with situational changes. For people with a good self-esteem base, normal ups and downs.
they can lead to temporary fluctuations in how they feel about themselves, but in a way
limited. In contrast, for people with low self-esteem, these changes can make all
the difference in the world, and take days forward to recover.

People with low self-esteem often depend on how they are doing in the present.
to determine how they feel about themselves. They need positive external experiences.
to neutralize the negative feelings and thoughts that constantly haunt them. And even
thus, good feelings (stemming from a good grade or other external stimuli) can only be had
temporary.

Healthy self-esteem is based on our ability to accurately evaluate ourselves, and

still being able to accept and value ourselves unconditionally. This evaluation means being able
to realistically recognize our strengths and limitations, while also accepting ourselves
as worthy and valuable, without conditions or reservations.

What you want to do is raise your self-esteem to levels that improve your life and the way
How do you see her? If you do, it will make a tremendous difference in your quality of life. Learning techniques
Affirmations that boost self-esteem can be easily taught and implemented in just a few...
Good days. However, it takes practice to keep self-esteem at the forefront of consciousness.
someone at the beginning, until the point where positive self-esteem goes on autopilot.

I would teach my followers everything they need to know about self-esteem in just one
weekend, and it would be the same content that you are about to read here. Here is everything you pre-
cisa saber para que sua vida se torne o espaço brilhante que deve ser.

23
 WHERE DOES OUR SELF-ESTEEM COME FROM?

Self-esteem develops throughout our lives as we build an image.

of ourselves through our experiences with different people and activities. Experiences during
Childhood plays a particularly important role in the formation of our basic self-esteem.

When we grow up, our successes (and failures) and how we were treated by our family,
for our teachers, technicians, religious authorities, and for our colleagues, all these people
contributed to the creation of our basic self-esteem.

An adult with healthy self-esteem was given this gift in childhood.

This gift could have been provided in various ways. Probably one of the most
important positive self-esteem is established through praise for achievements. Children
Those who are spoken to and heard with respect also tend to have healthy self-esteem in adulthood.
adults. Children who were often hugged and received attention, and who succeeded in school
or in sports activities are also among the luckiest.

On the contrary, those who grew up to have low self-esteem were often the children
harshly criticized, they were yelled at or beaten, and received little attention from those
who were closer. They were ridiculed and even provoked as they experimented.
failures in their young lives. They were raised to feel that they had to be perfect in order to be
completely valued, and associated failure in external situations as a failure of oneself due to
full.

Sad, isn't it? What is even sadder is the effect that this type of treatment in childhood has on
your lives as adults. We are shaped by our experiences. Do you recognize yourself in one or
outra dessas descrições, ou uma mistura dos dois?

How we feel about ourselves influences the way we live. People with good self-
estimate have better relationships, and are more likely to ask for help and support from friends and family.
They are there when needed. People who believe they can achieve goals and solve problems.
are more likely to succeed at school. Good self-esteem allows you to accept yourself and live life to
maximum. They are also better at school and find it easier to make friends. They tend to have
better relationships with peers and adults, feel happier, and find it easier to cope with
errors, disappointments, and failures; for they are more likely to stick with something until they succeed or are
completed. If someone was not provided with a healthy self-esteem in childhood, then this definitely-
it can be acquired again, but it requires some work. It is a perspective that you will have for the
Life is like this, it is very worthwhile to make the effort to gain it.

However, it doesn't have to be as difficult as one might think; it just requires tra-
work. In fact, all you have to do is recognize, understand, and use the techniques that I am teaching you.
giving.

After first answering the question of what exactly self-esteem is, we will be better
position to manipulate it in any way we desire.

WHAT IS SELF-ESTEEM?
24
 Many consider that self-esteem is synonymous with confidence. However, while confidence
enter the game, she is also a little more than that.

The fact is that there is an abundance of apparently confident people who can do things
wonderful, but have low self-esteem. Many people in the public eye fall into this category.
Actors, comedians, and singers, in particular, may seem to shine with assurance 'on stage', and
behind the scenes many of them feel desperately insecure.

In fact, individuals can be incredibly attractive and world-famous, and seem

balanced and perfect - still, deep down, they find it hard to value themselves. Think
the late Princess of Wales and Marilyn Monroe and you will accept, I think, that public adulation is not
guarantee of self-positive belief.

So, if self-esteem is not exactly the same thing as confidence, what exactly is it?

Well, the word 'esteem' comes from a Latin word that means 'to estimate'. So, simply,
self-esteem is how you estimate yourself.

To determine how you estimate yourself, you need to ask yourself some questions:

Do I like myself?
Do I think I am a good human being?
Am I someone who deserves love?
Do I deserve happiness?
I really feel it—in my mind and deep in my core—that I am an OK person?

People with low self-esteem find it difficult to answer 'yes' to these questions. You might be
one of them. Well, providing the tools for my ongoing cult to boost self-esteem
it is certainly one of the most rewarding activities that you or I can do as a leader of
seita.

The concept of self-esteem can be summarized as the confidence in our ability to think.
and in our ability to deal with life's basic challenges, and the confidence in our right to be
successful and happy. This confidence also includes the right to feel worthy and deserving, and the
the right to designate and affirm our needs and desires, in order to enjoy the fruits of our ef-
forces.

We also commonly think that self-esteem is just about how we think about ourselves.
the same at any particular moment. Although seemingly existing in degrees, we tend to
to believe that we make this determination simply by the way we feel about ourselves
mos.

However, our feelings or emotions do not exist alone or have an independent existence
pending. We do not simply feel. Instead, for each feeling or emotion we have,
whether positive or negative, there is a corresponding thought we have about ourselves that generates
a experiência de auto-estima.

Whether positive or negative, self-esteem is just how our psyche experiences thoughts.
25
what we have about ourselves. If a person has positive thoughts about themselves, they will experience
to foster good or positive self-esteem. On the other hand, if the individual has negative thoughts
about who he thinks he is, then he will experience poor or negative self-esteem. The good
The news, obviously, is that our thoughts are under our control, and when skillfully di-
rigid self-esteem can be quickly altered.

Therefore, to truly understand what self-esteem is about, and more importantly to be able
to change it, it is necessary to understand that self-esteem is really about thought, and specifically
to think about the thoughts that reflect on ourselves. The thoughts and beliefs we have
about ourselves are crucial for them to create the structure of our self-esteem experience and the
various emotions associated with it.

We also have the tendency to think of self-esteem as something that is shaped by events.
that happen in our lives, especially the events of our past. We tend to believe
that what we think we are and how we feel about ourselves is merely the product,
effect or caused by the experiences we had in the past—they say that we are who we are
due to what happened to us as human beings.

More specifically, we tend to think that the cause in the question of who we think that
We are and our self-esteem is due to circumstances, situations or others, people, places and things.
We do not think of self-esteem as something that we really develop or create ourselves.

We create our thoughts, and with them our emotions, based on the meaning that
instances for the events that took place in our life, especially at a young age
We give meaning to everything in our life. At a young age, the meaning we give to a
the event tends to be all about us. While events happen, it is not the events that are imposing-
many, but rather the meanings that were given to them and, especially, how those meanings relate
if with our identity.

Living with low self-esteem can be detrimental to the quality of life you lead.
on a daily basis. Remember, self-esteem is your opinion of yourself, but too many people...
they think others should form their opinion for them. It may seem silly, but if you think about it,
you will notice how certain events, comments, and encounters helped to 'make or break' your
self-esteem.

Let's look at some indicators that may signify if someone has low self-esteem.

DO I HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM?

If you think you might be suffering from low self-esteem, it might be a good idea to explore
take a little more and do this simple test.

Self-Esteem Assessment

Instructions: Simply respond T if the statement is true for you. Respond F if the
the statement is false for you.

26
 V F I am able to discuss my strengths, skills, abilities, achievements,
tasks, and successes with others.

V F I assert myself with someone I believe is violating or ignoring my rights.

tos.

V F I am happy with who I am, how I act, and what I do in life.

V F I am not bothered by feelings of insecurity or anxiety when I

I meet people for the first time.

V F Minha vida está equilibrada entre trabalho, vida familiar, vida social, recreação /
laser, and spiritual life.

V F I am aware of the role I played in my family of origin and I generally have

I have been able to make those patterns of behavior work for me in
my current life.

V F I am connected with the other significant ones in my environment at home, school, tra-
work, leisure, or in the community.

V F I am capable of performing the necessary development tasks to ensure

my healthy self-esteem course.

V F I am satisfied with my level of achievement at school, work, home, and in the community.
nidade.

V F I am a good problem solver; my thinking is not clouded.

due to irrational beliefs or fears.

V F I am willing to engage in conflict, if necessary, to protect my rights.

If you selected F for three or more of the questions above, you probably need to trace-
dance to boost your self-esteem. There are indeed many, many indicators that a person has
low self-esteem. Consider this list. People with low self-esteem:

They are considered lost, unworthy of being cared for;

They are poor risk takers;
They are typically hesitant in their behavior with others;
They are afraid of getting into conflict with others;
They are hungry for the approval of others;
They are poor problem solvers;
They are filled with irrational beliefs and have a tendency to think irrationally;
They are susceptible to all types of fears;
They tend to become emotionally stuck and immobilized;
They have a poor 'record' in school or at work; conversely, they sometimes exaggerate in
compensation and exceed all expectations;
They are unable to assert themselves or reinforce themselves positively;
27
 They are unable to make an honest assessment of their strengths, qualities, and positive points.
They have difficulty accepting compliments or recognition from others;
They have poorly defined self-identity with a tendency to be chameleons in order to fit in.
with the others;
They are insecure, anxious, and nervous when they are with other people;
Many times they become resentful about their state in life and are susceptible.
of chronic hostility or chronic depression;
They are easily subjected to despair and depression when experiencing a setback.
or loss in your lives;
― Têm uma tendência a exagerar e tornar-se exausto pelo ressentimento, raiva, e desejo de vin-
gains against those whom they believe do not fully accept them;
They play roles in their families of origin that are counterproductive and maladaptive.
tables. These roles transit in your adult life;
They are vulnerable to mental health issues and have a propensity to use behaviors
addictive mento to medicate your pain and suffering. Such behaviors may include alcohol-
cool, drugs, food, games, sex, shopping, smoking, working too much, or the search for
emotion, truth, wisdom, and, for our purposes, especially, a guru with a
easy guide to achieving happiness.

Crushing type, isn't it? Do you see yourself in any of these statements? Don't feel alone.
Low self-esteem is indeed a widespread problem, but if you suffer from this issue, it can
cause a little more problems—even more serious ones. Low self-esteem can have consequences
devastating.

It can cause anxiety, stress, loneliness, and a higher probability of depression;

It can cause problems with friendships and relationships;
It can seriously harm academic and work performance;
It can lead to failure and increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse;

The worst part of all is that these very negative consequences reinforce a negative self-image, and
can lead a person into a downward spiral of inner behavior and low self-esteem, and
increasingly unproductive, or even actively self-destructive.

In fact, there are three 'faces' that people with low self-esteem wear. See if you identify with them.
see in any of these personalities:

The happy and successful impostor, but is really terrified of failure. The impostor lives
with the constant fear that he or she will be 'discovered'. They need continuous successes to
maintain the mask of positive self-esteem, which can lead to issues with perfectionism, procrastination
tension, competition, and nervous exhaustion.

The Rebel conforms to the opinions or goodwill of others - especially the people who
they are important or powerful―it doesn't matter. The rebel lives with constant anger about not feeling
"good enough". He or she continuously needs to prove that the judgments of others and the criticisms
they don't hurt, which can lead to problems like excessively blaming others, breaking rules
either obey the laws, or fight the authority.

The helpless and incapable loser waits for someone to come to

28
the rescue. The loser uses self-pity or indifference as a shield against the fear of taking on the
responsibility to change your life. He or she constantly seeks others for guidance,
which can lead to problems such as lack of assertiveness, underachievement, and excessive dependence on
other people in relationships.

So, what does a person with healthy self-esteem look like? These people usually demonstrate
The following qualities are felt:

― Mantém-se como digno de ser amado e amar os outros, digno de ser cuidado e de cuidar dos
others, worthy of being nourished and of nourishing others, worthy of being touched and supported and of touching and
to support others, worthy of being heard and to listen to others, worthy of being recognized and to recognize
the others, worthy of being encouraged and of encouraging others, worthy of being reinforced as "good" people
and to recognize others as "good" people.

- He has a productive personality; because he has been achieving success with the best of his ca-
capacity in school, work, and society.

They are capable of being creative, imaginative problem solvers; of taking risks, optimistic.
in your approach to life and in the pursuit of your personal goals.

He is a leader and skilled at dealing with people. He is neither very independent nor very dependent on
others. He has the ability to evaluate a relationship and adjust to the demands of the interaction.

It has a healthy self-concept. Your self-perception is in sync with the image.

of themselves that they project in relation to others.

He is able to clearly indicate who he is, what his future potential is, and what he is proving
involved in life. They are able to declare what they deserve to receive in their life.

He is capable of accepting the responsibility and consequences of his actions. He does not resort to
to shift blame, or to use others as scapegoats for actions that resulted in a return
negative.

He is altruistic. He has a legitimate concern for the well-being of others. He is not self-centered.
traitor or selfish in his view of life. He does not take responsibility for others in a way
excessively responsible. He helps others accept responsibility for their own actions.
He is, however, always ready to help those who legitimately need assistance or guidance.
tação.

He has healthy coping skills. He deals with the stress of his life in a way
productive. He places the problems, concerns, cases, and conflicts that come his way in ob-
perspective. He does not become overly idealistic or too slow. He is a survivor in the sense
healthy of the word. He has a good sense of humor and is able to maintain a balance between work
and fun in your life.

Look to the future with enthusiasm, a sense of adventure, and optimism. He acknowledges your
potential for success and envisions his future success. He has dreams, aspirations, and hopes.

29
 He is guided by his goal with a sense of balance in working towards it.
goals. He knows where he came from, where he is now, and where he is going.

Does this sound like someone you would like to look like? Well, it might be! There are so many steps that you
you can take to increase your self-worth and stop suffering from low self-esteem. You will be a person
much better and you will enjoy a wonderfully rewarding life.

The first point we must address is your inner voice.

THE INNER VOICE

Our past experiences, even the things we don’t usually think about, are all
alive and active in our daily life in the form of an inner voice. Although most people do not
they "hear" this voice in the same way they would remember a speech, in many aspects, it acts like
in a similar way as it constantly repeats the original messages to us.

For people with healthy self-esteem, the messages from the inner voice are positive and reconciling.
fortifying. For people with low self-esteem, the inner voice becomes a harsh inner critic, constantly
fearing criticizing, punishing, and deprecating your achievements.

Do you never reprimand yourself for something you did? Have you found yourself struggling with what
you must do it, and continue telling yourself to do it? That is your inner voice.

Your inner voice will say things like: "You can't do this," "There's no way that
you can succeed," and "Why bother trying, you will fail." Your inner voice is your most
A harsh critic is the one who will lower your self-esteem the fastest. However, know that you can change.
this inner focus from a negative influence to a positive one.

We all have an inner voice. Talk back to it. Fight it. Let it know that
you are the only one in control, not her. Look at some of the dialogues that your inner voice will tell you and ways
healthy to refute what she is saying.

When the inner voice is unjustly harsh:

People said they liked my presentation, but it was far from being as good as it should have been.
I can't believe that not a single person noticed all the places where I went wrong. I am size
impostor.

To oppose oneself for the sake of self-comforting:

Wow, they really liked it! Maybe it wasn't perfect, but I worked hard on this presentation-
I worked hard and did a good job. I am proud of myself. This was a great success.

If the inner voice is unrealistically generalizing as in:

I got a 0 on the test. I don't understand anything in this class. I'm so dumb. Who am I fooling? I
I shouldn't be taking this class. I am stupid and don't belong in this college.

30
 Tell that inner voice something specific:

I did poorly on this test, but I did everything right on all the homework. There are some things that I don't
I understand as well as I thought I did, but I can do the material. I did well in the others.
classes that were as difficult as.

The inner voice can also be extremely illogical:

He is grumpy. He didn't say anything, but I know that means he doesn't like me!

Tell this voice something that is purely logical:

"OK, ele está carrancudo, mas eu não sei porquê. Pode ter nada a ver comigo. Talvez eu devesse pergun-
tar.

Finally, the inner voice will take things to the extremes:

She embarrassed me on a date! I am so ashamed and humiliated. No one likes or cares.

with me. I will never find a girlfriend. I will always be alone.

Tell the inner voice that things are not as bad as they are made out to be:

Ouch! That hurt. Well, she doesn't want to go out with me. That doesn't mean no one wants to. I know that I am a
attractive and pleasant person. I will meet someone.

In general, when that inner voice starts putting you down, neutralize it with a declaration.
positive action. Do not let it overwhelm you and speak to you about something that is not true. You are in control,
not the inner critic. Take control and start the journey towards more positive thinking.
cool!

One way to make this change is through positive affirmations. This is not something from the new-
It is simply a way to infuse positive self-talk into your life and calm that inner voice.
negative exterior.

Using positive affirmations can be a very powerful tool to transform what

a person thinks about themselves, and as a result, improves the individual's self-esteem.
Consistent use of positive affirmations will transform negative beliefs about a person
in positive thoughts, will begin to alter the structure of self-talk, and will produce a transformation
motion from low self-esteem to positive self-esteem.

When used in various ways, working with positive affirmations will be more effective.
when delivered through or combined with therapeutic relaxation music. Relaxation music
therapeutic creates a very relaxed environment to become more open and suggestive for the lin-
language of positive affirmations.

When you use music while refining positive messages, you will be more open to accepting.
the comments you are telling yourself. Look for a song that has some soft noise
in the background like waves breaking on a beach, or water that is flowing.
31
 The key to effectively using positive affirmations is consistency. Self-image and the...
Negative thoughts that generate your low self-esteem experience are well established in the system.
of beliefs. In many cases, the development of a negative self-image took many years to
create, and it was reinforced through years of validation of repetitive behavior.

Because positive self-affirmations are the key to developing self-esteem.

healthy, let's take a closer look at these.

Positive affirmations

Positive affirmations are healing, positive scripts that you give to yourself to counteract
your negative inner voice. They can free you from an excessive dependence on opinions, attitudes,
or feelings of other people, and helps you feel good about yourself.

When you envision a new order in your life, you can work towards an...
a more positive attitude and take responsibility for your own health and emotional stability. You
will leave behind your negative emotional baggage and be able to deal with your life realistically and
positive.

Positive affirmations will help resolve the negative feelings of the past so that you
can face the present with a less obstructed view. By doing so, you give yourself permission to
to grow, to change, to take risks, and to create a better life for oneself.

You will have a healthy and self-directed path in your life so that you can get rid of people.
and thoughts that drain your emotional resources and prevent you from experiencing personal power
complete. When you recognize that you have the right to be a healthy and happy human being, you
So there is a fight for change to reach your full potential.

Prophecies of success, when visualized, imagined, or believed, become reality. It is

It's time for you to fully believe in this. This is how positive affirmations can affect you and your
interior. The biggest advantage is that the negative inner voice will be calmed, allowing you to find the voice
positive internal that will help you become a completely happy person.

There are three areas of self-affirmations. Try to use any of these statements next.
whenever you feel negativity rising within you.

I Am: An Assertion of Who You Are

This is a positive affirmation of a true state of being that exists within you. You can.
get a complete list of the I Am statements by compiling a personal inventory of your attributes
positive traits, strengths, talents and skills. Examples include:

I am complete. I am energetic
I am strong I am excited
I am intelligent I am relaxed
I am handsome I am happy
I am a good person I am trustworthy
I am careful I am generous
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 I am kind I am brave
I am smart I am clement.
I am creative I am open
I am talented I am a collaborator

I Can: An Affirmation of Your Potential

This is a positive statement of your ability to achieve goals. It is a declaration of the

your belief in your power to grow, to change, and to help yourself. Examples include:

I can lose weight I can grow

I can quit smoking I can heal
I can handle my children. I can abandon the guilt
I can gain self-confidence I can abandon fear
I can take risks I can change
I can be a winner I can be positive
I can be strong I can be a problem solver
I can pass in calculus I can handle problems
I can smile and have fun I can be honest with my feelings
I can be assertive I may not be compulsive
I can control my temper. I can be successful.

I Will: A Statement of Positive Change in Your Life

This is a positive statement of a change you want to achieve. It is a positive declaration.

It is about what you want to happen. It is a prophecy of success. Examples include:

I will like myself more each day.

I will gain emotional strength every day.
I will control my temper today.
I will give others responsibility for their lives today.
I will grow emotionally strong every day.
I will smile more today.
I will praise my children today.
Eu vou sentir coisas boas sobre mim hoje.
I will go to sleep easily tonight.
I will feel less guilty every day.
I will face my fears courageously today.
I will only take on what I can handle today.
I will take care of myself today.
I will challenge myself to change today.
I will manage my time better today.
I will handle my finances wisely today.
I will take a risk to grow today.

The daily use of these "I" statements is another form of self-affirmation designed to contain a
negative self-concept. This practice can result in a positive attitude, optimism, and can motivate-
I am towards emotional growth and progress.
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 Another good way to focus on the positive in your life is to make Affirmation Cards and place them
in places where you will see them often. These cards would be words, phrases, or statements and
placed where you can see them daily, in order to be reminded of the positive aspects about yourself
same. Every time you see these Affirmation Cards, they will remind you to affirm yourself about
these positive qualities or attributes. Remember to state all the claims in a positive way.
itiva.

Here are some places to consider putting your affirmation cards:

mirror in the bathroom car dashboard

mirror on the vanity office desk
wardrobe door writing desk at home
refrigerator door in your wallet
entrance door in your folder
door of the room in work or school books
on your phone

Try to include some of these words in your affirmation cards:

brilliant capable
creative strong
smart beautiful
expert generous
fast peaceful
loving hopeful
careful responsible
successful problem solver
calm quiet
beautiful marvelous
relaxed pleasant

Consider some of these sentences as well:

think happy take it easy

be calm think wisely
take measures work smart
do it have fun
do it now relax and enjoy
to be a winner sit down
to take a risk step back
dare to be different take the lead
to make the most of the blessing give them space
take control believe in me
let go trust me
let them be to enjoy good health
let it be

Affirmation statements can also be used to remind you that you are worthy and that you
34
You need to stay positive in all situations.

I can be a winner.
I am the best friend I have.
I have solved problems like this before.
I have the ability to handle this.
I am a capable human being.
I deserve to love and be loved.
I am a skilled and artistic person.
I can show others a good example.
Letting it happen is better for them and for me.
They will thank me in the future.
Nothing is worth losing my mental sanity.
I am responsible only for my own feelings.
I owe no one explanations for my behavior.
I deserve to have my rights recognized.
I am a worthy human being.
I deserve to enjoy the fruits of my labor.
I deserve to be rewarded for what I do.
I love myself for who I am.
It's okay to be selfish as long as I don't hurt anyone.
I like the way I deal with problems.
I am capable of handling any problem I face.
I have the right to feel the way I do.
I deserve to relax more and be calm.
I experience the emotion of growth every day.
Change is a blessing that I am working towards.
Taking risks is the way to growth.
I grow in love daily.
I face each new day as a race to be won.
I am winning the race of life.
I am a rich treasure ready to be found.
Let others know who I am.
Say hello to a new person today.
Open yourself to be loved today.
Be responsible. Relax!
Detachment is love.
You will be free from guilt today.
To be loved I need to love.
God does not make trash.
There are opportunities in life to be tried.
My possibilities are endless.
Success is to be enjoyed.
I am opening up to a new person today.
I can deal with all the changes that come my way.
There is nothing I cannot handle.
Smile and let others in on the secret.

35
 When you make a conscious effort to incorporate these positive affirmations into your routine.
Daily, you will be well on your way to enhancing your self-esteem and realizing your full potential.
as a significant and wonderful person!

There are so many other steps that can elevate your self-esteem and help you become everything you are.
destined to be. Let's move forward!

Autonutrition

Refuting your inner critical voice is an important step, but it is not enough. Once you...
our self-esteem is partly due to the way others treated us in the past, the second step
To have healthier self-esteem, it is important to start treating yourself as a person of value.

Start challenging negative experiences from the past or messages by nurturing and taking care of yourself.
even in ways that show you are valuable, competent, deserving, and kind. There are several
components for self-nutrition:

First of all, practice basic self-care. Get enough sleep, eat healthily,
engaging in regular physical exercise, good hygiene practices, and so on. A healthy mind is-
dependent on a healthy body. When you take care of the outside, it's natural to take care of the inside.
it will continue.

You should plan fun and relaxing things for yourself. You could go to the cinema, take...
a nap, receiving a massage, planting a garden, buying a pet, or learning
to meditate, as long as it is something you enjoy. Try new things to pamper yourself.

Reward yourself for your achievements—big and small! You could take a night off.
to celebrate good grades, spend time with a friend, or compliment oneself to make that difficult call
Phoneme. No matter how small the achievement may seem, you deserve to celebrate every step.
Try a bit of chocolate ice cream, or allow yourself to relax and do nothing. It doesn't matter,
as long as it is a reward for YOU!

You must always remember your strengths and achievements. This may seem daunting,
especially when you have a low self-image. How do you find those strengths?

One way is to make a list of things you like about yourself. Or keep a file.
of successful awards, certificates, and positive letters or quotes. Keeping memories of achievements that
You take pride in where you can see them. Focus on everything and anything. It doesn't matter how much pe-
No matter how small they may seem, if you achieved it and are proud of it, focus on that and celebrate!

A big step you can take is to forgive yourself when you don't do everything that you ...
self-nutrition can be surprisingly difficult if you are not used to doing it.
That's it. Reward yourself for trying in the first place. This is a big step towards the positive YOU.
what do you want to be!

There will be times when you don't feel like you deserve to take care of yourself. These are the moments
what you will need the most! Fake it until you make it. When you treat yourself as you deserve, to feel
well and be nourished, slowly you will come to believe. You will be amazed at how you will be
36
feel when you let go of the trash and embrace the jewels.

You may feel a little lost during this process. It is also important to count.
with the help of others.

CALLING THE "TROOPS"

Getting help from others is often the most important step a person can take to
improving your self-esteem, but it can also be more difficult. People with low self-esteem often
Sometimes they don't ask for help because they feel they don't deserve it.

Since low self-esteem is often caused by the way other people treat you
in the past, you may need the help of others in the present to challenge the men-
critical sagas that come from negative experiences of the past.

Ask your friends for support. Have them tell you what they like about you and what they think.
from you too. Having someone around to vent to sometimes, when feeling down.
A person is your sounding board. He or she should allow you to express yourself without trying to fix it.
the things.

You can also ask for a hug when you need one. Dr. Leo Buscaglia, too.
known as "The Hug Doctor", advocates the hug as a therapeutic measure in all situ-
actions. Sometimes, physical contact can solve anything by making you feel worthy of this hug.
It may seem silly, but try it and see.

There is an abundance of people who can help with your self-esteem. If you are having prob-
Struggling at school, go to the teachers or counselors and ask for help in classes. These people are here.
to help you learn, and they will. Once you start to notice success in your classes, the
your self-esteem will rise!

If there is something at work that you feel is lacking, ask your supervisor for help or
counseling. Ask for new projects or challenges to help promote your success. You also
You can also ask your coworkers to help you by being supportive of one another.

Consider taking classes or trying new activities to enhance your sense of competence.
You could take extra lessons, join an exercise group, or find community classes in
something that interests you, such as karate.

If the problem is really too overwhelming for you to handle by yourself, you might want to talk.
with a therapist or counselor. Sometimes, low self-esteem can feel so painful or difficult to
overcome, that professional help from a therapist or counselor is necessary. Talking to a
a counselor is a good way to learn more about your self-esteem issues and start to heal
to the hour.

In addition to the inner voice, you need to start telling yourself certain things to acknowledge in
yourself.

POSITIVE SELF-TALK
37
 A fundamental first step is to understand and accept that you are not alone in this. Many,
many people suffer from low self-esteem. They range from high-ranking government officials to celebrities.
data, for the mailman or the lady who lives next door. They are all in this with you, regardless.
whether they make this public or not.

You need to realize that you are a wonderful, unique, and special person, and there is no one
like you. Your fingerprints and your DNA are completely different from everyone else's—unless
that you have an identical twin brother.

The way the mind thinks and operates is absolutely your own. Of the six billion people in
world, you are one of a kind. So, if nature took the trouble to make you absolutely unique,
you don't feel that you should accept that you are important, and that you have just as much right as anyone
another being on this planet?

You have other rights too. One of them is the right to make mistakes. Don't forget that
To err is human and most of us learn a lot from doing things wrong.
before doing them right.

Furthermore, we have the right to respect ourselves - and to be respected: this is very important.
aunt. And, finally―and perhaps the most vital of all―we have the right to say "yes" or "no" for ourselves.
same.

Many people with low self-esteem think that they are not very important and that their
opinions do not carry weight. Is this you? If so, try to interrupt these destructive thoughts. If
If you go around believing these thoughts, then you will encourage other people to believe them too.
in them as well.

Instead, start thinking of yourself as someone who has rights and opinions and ideas.
are as valid as anyone else's. This will help you improve your 'self-evaluation.
action.

The key to positive self-esteem is to remember that you have control over your situation: when
Feeling sad about a character flaw, remember that you can take steps to change yourself.
even if shaping your future.

This is a good time to start a journal—if you don't already have one. Journaling can be a
incredibly therapeutic tool in raising your self-esteem and discovering new and interesting things
health about yourself that you may not have known.

Start with a big project. In your journal, list 25 good things about yourself. This can
may seem a difficult task, but we are willing to bet that you can reach them if you really-
mind trying. You need to take stock of your positive qualities and your strengths. You them
has; just look inside yourself. Can you bake an excellent batch of cookies? This
It's something! Maybe you are skilled at navigating the internet. Not everyone is adept at it—take note!
Little things count, so take note and have time to be proud!

Also take a moment to write in your diary ten things that you want to improve in.
yourself. Don't look at these as your flaws or weaknesses. These are simply things that you
38
need or want to change. Next to each one, write a concrete way in which you can change
this aspect in itself.

For example, if you feel lazy, go ahead and write that, but also write
ways in which you could be less lazy. Find something that motivates you, perhaps a sis-
reward theme. This works in schools, so maybe it could work for you too.

Don't focus too much on this list. The idea is to recognize that there are parts of you that need to be
worked, and you are able to define them and do just that.

Finally, take a moment to dream in your diary. Find something, or several things, that
Would you like to do? Maybe you want to learn to dive. Write it down and make an action plan.
even include a calendar and note some real future dates. You will have to find a place
to teach diving, and then enroll in the class.

Maybe you want to know more about Greek mythology. Call a school and check if they
They offer a class, and sign up. Maybe you can find classes online. Just watch and look.

Now that you have a journal, you need to highlight the positive aspects of your life. Find
Take a moment at the end of each day and write down at least one good thing you did that day. Note it down.
something that happened and you are proud of.

Maybe you performed better than a coworker who had been giving you problems.
Maybe you made friends with a new person at the office. There is nothing too small to wr-
Here forever. Everything counts. We are focusing on the positive things in your life. When you have them in
black and white, they become real and true. This is what you should focus on—every day!

You also need to give yourself a daily vitality talk. Don't base
your perception of yourself in what others think of you. This is destructive. No one knows
You better than YOU! Look in the mirror every morning and say something positive.

Your hair looks great

You can do anything you want

You are a worthy person and people should listen to you.

It can be anything—as long as it is something positive about yourself. Remember that everyone
feel this way sometimes. Don't compare yourself to others. Even the most popular girl thinks that
No one likes her. You are a unique individual, with great qualities that you can share.
Stand up and be heard!

Many times people make themselves unhappy by repeatedly revisiting in their minds the mistakes that
They committed. But you can feel happier and improve your self-esteem if you rethink things.
who believes they did wrong or bad.

When you have a bad day, or something goes wrong in your relationship or at work, write it down.
in your diary, a record of what went right with this episode, not what went wrong. This simple practice
39
It will surprise you, and it will improve the way you see yourself.

YOUR ENVIRONMENT

Healthy self-esteem originates in family environments, school, common groups, places of

work, and in the community. There are certain characteristics of your environment that need to be present
so that positive self-esteem can be promoted and developed.

The main component of a healthy environment is that it is cultivated. It must provide the
warmth, love and unconditional affection. He needs to provide the perception that other people are recon-
known as deserving to be nurtured, strengthened, rewarded, and united. Such an environment trans-
send messages of enthusiasm, love, and affection through physical touch, meeting the needs of
survival of food, clothing, and shelter, and providing a sense of stability and order
in life.

A healthy environment must provide acceptance. It will recognize each individual as worthy.
and with a unique set of personality traits, skills, abilities, and competences.
what makes him or her special.

Acceptance helps individuals recognize that differences within and between people are OK,
and this acceptance encourages the development of a sense of personal mastery and autonomy. Acceptance
allows people to develop relationships with others, while still maintaining healthy boundaries.
individuality within oneself.

There must be good communication. Everyone should be heard and responded to in a healthy manner.
so that problem-solving becomes possible. Giving and receiving appropriate feedback is encouraged.
and rewarded. Communicating on an emotional level is a modus operandi that connects people.
with your emotions in a productive way.

To support the development of healthy self-esteem, the environment must contain recognition-
mentoring and acceptance of people for who they are. This recognition and acceptance should not be based on
on the condition that they must first comply with a certain standard of behavior
mentoring or conduct. Unconditional recognition and acceptance given in the form of support allows the in-
individuals reaching their maximum potential.

There must be clearly defined and applied limits known to individuals without tricks.
boundaries or manipulation. Limits establish the framework for individuals' lives, allowing
clear references of appropriate and inappropriate behavior. Limits empower individuals to recon-
to fulfill your responsibilities and chart your course of behavior in a rational way.

Respect and latitude for individual action within the defined limits of the environment must be
presents, in order to encourage people to use their creativity, ingenuity, and imagination to be pro-
duty within the established structure. Restrictions that suppress individuality can lead to a
narrow focus, with people becoming atrophied and deficient in their use of their personal skills,
skills and resources.

Freedom must also be established within the structure, allowing individuals to...
develop a sense of personal autonomy. If they are too tied up and inhibited, they may become
40
resentful and, eventually, rebellious against the structures in their environment.

Being given the freedom of self-expression within the established rules and norms allows
that people explore their potential in its fullness, thus there is a greater possibility of
we will become successful and healthy entrepreneurs.

Finally, there must be unity, which is also necessary for the development of self-esteem.
healthy.

Union is the formation of mutual emotional bonds between individuals and another significant one.
(parent/child, friends, lovers, etc.) This connection involves the significant other giving unconditional love and support.
emotional dynamics, as well as the bonds of affective development between the two people.

Union provides a sense of security and emotional stability. It allows you to be free.
para explorar tudo o que é maravilhoso sobre você e as pessoas ao seu redor, sem medo de censura ou
ridiculous. This activity develops a healthy self-image and helps to create a sense of identity.
Union will also provide a sense of belonging and being important in the 'overall picture'.

Union can be made in various ways. One of them is to allow the other person to enter into a...
strange environment, while providing support and 'stimulation' the whole way. This encourages
another person to be self-confident and offers help with individual problems while encouraging
that any problem can be overcome.

Existem algumas coisas que você pode fazer para efetivamente unir-se com aqueles ao seu redor.

Talking face-to-face with people

Use physical contact when interacting

Encouraging others to do things for which he or she is ready and capable.

Speak in a loving and caring way

Show respect

Listen attentively; offer empathy and understanding

Be honest when describing or dealing with problems

Be a support as they become afraid, scared, or worried about the future.

Encourage the development of independent and autonomous thinking

Encourage open exploration and discussion of options and alternatives when facing problems in
home, at school, at work or in the community

If you feel that you are not connected with the people around you, show them this list. Ask them
to help you on your journey towards healthy self-esteem. Our guess is that they will be happy
41
help me!

In general, you need to make the environment conducive to your positive aspects and your voice.
interior. Surround yourself with people who are loving, caring, and supportive, and stay away from people
What are sources of negativity? They will only bring you down.

Look around you. At work, you have a workspace that promotes emotions.
positive? Place photos of your loved ones around you. Add a plant with a beautiful flower.
Put motivational sayings where you can always see them.

You should be happy in your own home and happy to arrive there at the end of the day. Personalize yours.
home, hang photos of those you love, children's drawings, motivational quotes, posters, art,
handicraft. Use anything that makes you feel good. This is if you don't have perfect decor.
Become happy and serene. Surround yourself with things you find beautiful.

If you are in a negative environment, the logical response is to change it. And what if you can't?
everyone can just get up and leave a job just because it is an unhealthy environment
But the thing is that it isn't always easy to change the negative. However, there are things you can do.
to minimize negativity. For example, there are certain people and situations that threaten your self-
Tima. You need to stay away from them in order to maintain the positive thinking you are striving for.
for cultivation.

At Work: Be careful with the 'dog eat dog' theory that everyone is just fighting for
get ahead. This is where unappreciative people tend to thrive. No one will be grateful for
your contributions, even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time
you work hard without the help of the people involved. Stay out of this line of thought; it will
ruin your self-esteem. Competition is everywhere. Compete in a healthy and positive way.

With People: Pessimists, sycophants, gossipers, crybabies, traitors, nosy people, people
walking wounded, controllers, complainers, grumblers, explosive, sponsors, ferrets... all these
types of people will represent bad vibes for your self-esteem, as well as your work
self-improvement.

Change: Changing challenges our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and
it changes the way we think. Change will make life difficult for a while and can cause stress,
but it also helps us find ways to improve ourselves. Change will exist forever,
and that's why we must be open to it. Focus on the positive aspects of change. This will take some
time to get used to it, but remember that 'change is good'.

Past Experiences: It is normal to cry and say 'ouch!' when we experience pain. But not
let the pain transform into fear. This can catch you by the tail and shake up your life. Treat each failure
and error as a lesson. Acknowledge it, go through it, and do not dwell on it. Letting go of the past is
extremely important for a healthy lifestyle. You cannot change what happened to you
in the past. Be more present and future-oriented.

The World: There are many, many terrible things that happen in this world, and this can bring
more people down. Don't get involved with all the world's problems. In the construction of self-
estimate, learn to make the best of bad situations.
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 Genetics: The way you are and your behavioral characteristics are dictated by being
a final product mix of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychological), and your environment
environment, such as your spouse, the company, the economy, or your circle of friends. You have your
own identity. If your father is a failure, that doesn't mean you have to be a failure too.
Well. Learn from the experiences of others, so you will never have to face the same.
errors.

Before moving on to the 'quick start' guide to boost your self-esteem, I want to take a
moment to include what is an extremely important section: how to improve and promote self-
healthy self-esteem in children.

CHILDREN AND SELF-ESTEEM

None of us were born with low self-worth or low self-esteem. It developed over time.
long years for what we were told and how we were made to feel for the people in our
lives. Whether you have children or not, you can make a difference in a child's self-perception and inter-
breaking the cycle of low self-esteem problems.

The first obvious step to promoting a good self-image in children is to give them love.
unconditional love and affection. Do not criticize or reprimand them. Always focus on the positive points and provide the
incentive in everything they do.

However, there are many, many other things you can do. First, you should mod-
Boost self-esteem. Express through your actions and words that you respect yourself. The child-
Children are wonderful at imitating what they see and hear. Be a good role model.

Create positive routines. Young children need routines to help them feel safe.
and competent. Set a good schedule for rest in bed, naps, and meals. Try to maintain ex-
keep deviations from the routine to a minimum and explain the necessary changes when they occur.

Allow opportunities for children to contribute to the family. Give the child a job.
or tasks that only he or she does for the family. Even a small job can have a positive impact.
lasting impact on a child's self-esteem.

Talk about the world in positive terms. Even if there is negativity in the world, do not let it...
Bruce about her with a child. Be sure to point out the many positive things in the world for the
children.

Give them the gift of your time. Remember that quality is more important than quantity.
Even if you spend just 30 minutes one-on-one with a child - playing games, going for walks,
having long conversations before sleeping, or just snuggling up in front of the TV, spending time with a
Child shows her that you value her company.

Give them choices. By giving a child choices among a reasonable set of options that already
they are pre-determined, you will make them feel empowered.

However, be cautious here. Too much control sends the message that your children cannot
lidar adequately with their lives. Very little control sends the message that you don't care,
43
so you must find a balance between these two extremes and give them more freedom as
that age.

Recognize and listen to your thoughts and emotions, as this is both a part of who
They are. Listening to your children with empathy shows that you care about what they think and feel.
In addition, this will create an atmosphere in which they will be more willing to listen to you.

You don't always have to agree with your children when you listen to them, nor let them
do what you want. You may have a different view of a situation and still understand the
your perspective. And you can still have to discipline them, even if you understand why they behave that way.
they behaved badly.

You should create situations for your children to experience more success than failures.
casso. Do not expect performance standards that they cannot achieve. You want them to grow.
with much more praise than criticism, more achievements than failures.

Let your children know that they are lovable and capable. Again, this is a self-principle.
evident. You should give your children expressions of affection daily: hugs, kisses, words of
love, praise, and gratitude. Think of them as cups of love that you wish to fill to the brim.
the least possible care.

Provide safety for them. Children need to feel safe. Few feel safe.
when there are conflicts occurring around you. Few can relax internally when others
around you are screaming, accusing, criticizing, and hating each other. For a small child,
the tension between the parents, or between the parents and the child or other children, constitutes a deep abyss
of insecurity. Furthermore, they may end up blaming themselves for the conflicts surrounding them.

Avoid arguing around them as much as possible. If they see conflict, make sure...
It's good that they see the resolution of the conflict. Not everything in life is peaches and cream, and the prob-
slogans emerge.

People will argue. It's a fact of life. The important part here is that the child sees a
peaceful solution in the end. This will teach them skills to solve problems and help them realize
that even though there is conflict in the world, there is also a way to resolve it in a way that everyone
I will benefit.

Our children need to know that we accept and love them, no matter what.
they can do it, but also that certain forms of behavior are not acceptable. We must, in
meanwhile, to investigate for ourselves why this behavior is not acceptable.

Is it because this could potentially be harmful to the child, the other person, or to
us? Or is it simply because we are programmed that it should not be done? Or will composing-
it conflicts with our expectations based on our personal needs and dreams for the
child? Or are we afraid of what others will think about our child and, consequently, about
we?

We must be very clear about why we are rejecting a certain behavior.

Our rejection can come from a place of true love and concern for the child, if, in fact, it does not
44
We are simply protecting our own interests. While a certain behavior-
mento does no real harm to anyone, it's better to let the child pursue it. Something
within them, some need is guiding them to explore this type of activity. They have something to
learn by doing this.

This does not mean that there are moments where control or even natural consequences exist.
or logicals may be necessary. But we need to make sure that the reasons are valid and are related
with real issues of security or morality, and not because we are disappointed with your selection
of hobbies, interests or friends.

To unconditionally love our children, we need to unconditionally love ourselves. We di-

We often have to overcome the prerequisites we set for our own self-esteem. We need to
to love ourselves, even though we are not perfect, even if we make mistakes, and even
when others do not love or accept us. The more we free ourselves from our various pre-reqs
self-love requirements, then our love for our children and for others will become unconditional.

Finally, we must provide positive reinforcement for our children. Everyone likes to
a pat on the back, recognition, affection, praise, or affirmation of your capability, kindness, and
dignity. Our children have not yet formed images of themselves and need these inputs.
more positive than adults. Children are not sure if they are capable or not. They are
small in such a big world. They are learning and, therefore, make many mistakes when
Try to learn to do things correctly.

In our attempt to help our children, we often tend to point out their mistakes.
more often than your successes. The mistakes are what stands out the most and, therefore, we
we feel the need to point them out. Successes are taken as certain. We overemphasize.
What our children do wrong. This harms their sense of ability, and they begin to doubt.
if they can really succeed.

Thus, they become worried, worrying if they will be able to do it, and if they
they will be criticized. Little energy is left to focus on what they are really doing so that they
we can do it correctly and succeed. So, if our child's performance suffers, we make them
even more critical. This creates a vicious cycle in which the sense of skill, success, and dignity of
our children are completely undermined.

Então, a coisa fácil de dizer é apenas "não faça isso". Se você se encontra excessivamente crítico
of a child or shouts reprimanding comments about them, take a moment, count to 10 and think
in a healthier way to resolve the situation. They will be better for it—and so you
it will be!

What about this enormous area that is especially difficult to deal with? It is destined to happen,
but don't let it swallow you! Criticism can be conveyed and accepted gracefully, without affecting your self-
estimate.

LIDAR WITH CRITIQUE

One of the areas where people with low self-esteem have the most difficulty is with criticism,
giving, just like receiving. Both can be extraordinarily difficult. In fact, some individuals
45
they are absolutely demolished by criticism, but it's something we cannot avoid.

Now, when the criticism is unfair, it is necessary to confront it by presenting a case explicitly.
succinct and calmly. But some criticisms are justified, and when we are sensible we can learn.
with them.

Many times, when we are criticized, we feel so bad that we start to make excuses and refute.
what is being said without actually hearing it.

A mature person, self-aware, listens to criticism without interrupting. If there are aspects to the criticism of
what are valid, then one starts by agreeing on the points. If you are not sure about what
It is being said, then ask for clarification. If it is indeed wrong, say so and apologize.
or make the correction as appropriate. However, if you disagree with the criticism, then just
Smile and say: 'Thank you for your contribution, but I do not agree with you.'

Now, it may take a lot of practice to feel and act in this coldness, so let's go through it.
again. When someone criticizes:

Listen, do not interrupt or start apologizing.

Concord, but only agree where possible.

Ask for clarification if you do not understand something.

When you are wrong, admit it and apologize.

If the criticism is wrong or unfair, say that you disagree.

Now, let's observe in giving criticism, because people with low self-esteem often
they find it more difficult to give criticism than to receive it. In fact, many adults really avoid
a promoção porque não conseguem enfrentar a perspectiva de estar na autoridade e ter que criticar os
others.

So, how can you learn to critique when necessary?

First of all, stay calm. Second, try to give your critique at the appropriate moment.
instead of waiting until you are so full that you are furiously angry. Then you will go
be forced to make a fuss if you wait too long.

Take a few deep breaths when you know you'll have to criticize someone. Then,
try a technique called the 'sandwich critique'. This means you say something good to the person
what is being criticized, then you insert the criticism, then you finish with something more pleasant or
positive, therefore, squeezing the criticism between two positive comments.

You may notice that people who are good and fair when criticizing tend to use the word
I instead of the word you. This happens because the word I shows that you are in control and
what you thought about what you are saying.

46
 Everyone, very often, when we are out of control, we initially say nothing.
What is when we should address the problem. Instead, we bottle them up until we explode.
So, we use the words 'you', 'you are', and 'your' all the time. We can say, 'you are
"lazy" or "you disgust me".

These types of phrases sound irritable and accusatory. They also show that we are not in
control. After stating them, we usually feel worse about ourselves and our own self-
estimate falls even more.

So, just to recap, when criticizing:

Use the word 'I', not the word 'you'.

Stay calm and take a deep breath.

Use the 'sandwich feedback' technique.

Critique the behavior of a person, not the person.

These tips are very helpful when it comes to defending yourself in other situations. And they
they are very useful when you want to be able to say 'no' without feeling guilty. Just stay calm
and use the word "I".

I am not going to that party with you or I can't work tonight, I'm sorry.
But if necessary, I would be happy tomorrow. "Besides, never, ever apologize for saying "no".
It is your right, so exercise it.

People with low self-esteem are said to do things they don't want to do. That sounds like
you? If that's the case, you should stop if you want to value yourself more. Learn to stay calm and just
saying "no" is very important.

QUICK START GUIDE

We bet that you would be able to start raising your self-esteem in just one weekend.
week. Here are some tips on how to get started:

1. Try to stop having negative thoughts about yourself. If you are used to focusing
in your deficiencies, start thinking about positive aspects of yourself that surpass them. When
If you find yourself being overly critical, counter it by saying something positive about yourself. Each day, write it down.
Three things about yourself that make you happy.

2. Focus on achievements rather than perfection. Some people get paralyzed by the p-
appearance. Instead of holding back with thoughts like: "I'm not going to present myself on stage
"until I lose 10 kilos," think about what you are good at and what you enjoy, and go ahead.

3. See mistakes as learning opportunities. Accept that you will make mistakes, because
Everyone does. Mistakes are part of learning. Remember that a person's talents are
constantly developing, and everyone excels in different things - that is what makes people
47
interesting.

4. Experiment new things. Try experimenting with different activities that will help you to
get in touch with your talents. Take pride in the new skills you develop.

5. Recognize what you can change and what you cannot. If you realize that you are unhappy
with something about yourself that can change, then start today. If it's something you can't
change (like your height), so work to love yourself the way you are.

6. Set goals. Think about what you would like to achieve, and then make a plan for how to do it.
Go ahead with your plan and follow your progress.

Exercise! You will relieve stress and be healthier and happier.

8. Have fun. Have you ever found yourself thinking things like 'I would have more friends if I were more...'
thin?" Take advantage of spending time with the people you like and doing the things you love. Re-
Relax and have a good time - and avoid putting your life on hold.

9. Use the 10-minute technique. People with low self-esteem often cannot
give yourself enough time and space. Find 10 minutes every day to be alone and sit down and
do nothing. Some people find it helpful to close their eyes and imagine a scene in the countryside or the view
and the sound of the waves gently crashing against the beach. During these 10 minutes, allow yourself to feel in
peace and happy. Enjoy this time. It is your alone time, and you deserve it. Find 10 minutes to
you are a careful thing to do and you will feel better to do it.

10. Act confidently. People will sense your self-confidence and respond positively.
you, strengthening your image and self-image at once.

11. Practice easy, free, and deep breathing and then think about it. This implicitly
says that you must believe in yourself and do it without the help of others; this, in turn, improves the
your self-esteem.

12. Think back to when you did something new for the first time. Learning something new is many
often accompanied by feelings of nervousness, lack of self-belief, and high levels of stress, the
what are the necessary parts of the learning process. Next time you feel lacking in confidence,
this memory will remember that it is perfectly normal, and that you are learning.

13. Do something you are good at. Whether it's swimming, running, dancing, cooking, gardening, climbing, painting,
or the writing. If possible, it should be something that captures your attention and requires a lot of focus for you to...
to be in a state of flow where you forget everything else. You will feel more competent, re-
Balanced and capable, a great antidote against low self-esteem. While you're at it, consider
seriously do something like this at least once a week. People who experience flows
They regularly seem to be happier and healthier.

14. Stop thinking about yourself. This may sound strange, but low self-esteem is often
accompanied by focusing too much on oneself. Doing something that absorbs you and keeps your attention
attention can quickly make you feel better.

48
 15. Remember everything you have achieved. This is where your journal may come in handy.
This can be difficult at first, but after a while, you will develop an accessible mental list.
and writing uplifting memories on self-esteem that you can refer to many times. If you
is thinking: "But I've never achieved anything", I'm not talking about climbing Everest here. This
list can be things like passing your driving test (even though you are nervous), driving exams
sage (despite doubting that I would pass), play a team sport, get in shape (even if you
have let slip afterwards), save money for something, try to help someone (even
that didn't work) and so on.

Choose something that brings a good thought and focus on it when you are
feeling blue. The country singer Clint Black wrote a song that included the lyrics 'Isn't it funny
how a melody can bring back a memory. It doesn't have to be a song. It could be the
the smell of a certain perfume that reminds you of a special person or even a piece of clothing
what you were using during a particularly wonderful time. Use this stimulus and focus-
in it. Let the good feelings wash over you and drive away those emotions of 'I am not good.'

17. Clean the trash. This phrase means to take everything painful and not...
constructive criticism that was given to you by those who matter to you. One thing is to receive constructive criticism in
life, but another very different thing is when people are frank about it. Remember that this is a matter
of the offending party, and not its.

18. List first why you believe in the negativity you tell yourself (for example:
I am very old. I am very fat. No one loves me. I am never good enough. etc.). laugh
from that piece of paper you just wrote on, and then tear it up and move on to the next es-
strategy.

19. Count your blessings, which may include things that people really take for granted.
such as food and shelter, access to a computer, etc.

20. Make a list of what you like to do, starting from childhood to now, and try to
find time to do something on this list at least once a week, even if just.
for a few minutes.

21. List at least three things you wish you had the courage to do. Then, for-
Create a plan to actually do them. You may not be able to do one of them at first, but you know—
More than the others out there can, then you can too.

22. Realize once and for all everything that your self-worth and self-esteem are defined by.
you and only you. You cannot rely on someone for your happiness. The perspective of another person
about you is immaterial. Where happiness and self-esteem come from is within you. Once you
Embrace it fully, the transformation will begin!

23. Choose to be happy. Happiness is a state of mind. The Dalai Lama says that the purpose of
Life is about seeking happiness. He believes that if you train your mind to be happy, then you will be.
In the same way, you can train yourself for greater self-esteem.

24. Be passionate about something. It can be anything. Be passionate about yourself.

the same. Being passionate about your hobbies. Being passionate about boosting your self-esteem. Passion takes
49
account of you and makes you feel like 'fire in the belly'. It's a source of power that allows you to enter
in flames about life and making a difference. The more passion and enthusiasm you feel, the more alive and
You are enlightened.

25. Reward your successes. Get ready for success by breaking large goals into steps.
of daily actions and take time to recognize and celebrate small successes. This action there
feeds your need for recognition and provides the extra push to keep you moving forward.
Compensations could be as simple as a piece of cake or vacations as big as in
dream. Anyway, you deserve to celebrate your successes.

CONCLUSION

Your self-esteem is like a star in the night that shines brighter when it’s dark. It is your light.
interior that burns brightly and freely, no matter what is happening around you.

Self-esteem is perfectly intact when we are born. However, it often decreases when
long from our childhood. We lose a bit of it every time we fail, make mistakes, we...
we misbehaved, we feel guilty, we refuse to forgive, we neglect ourselves, and we do
things that cause shame. As an adult, sometimes we feel as if our 'self' is in
pieces, and we are in no way whole and complete.

This is not true. We are whole and complete even with our missing and broken pieces.
broken. We just need to decide to gather them and become whole again. I'm willing to bet
that when you look back on your life, the first thing that comes to mind are the regrets
mentos, sometimes sad about your past.

Do you see the parts of yourself lying along the path of your life? Those where you
Didn't you feel good enough, or where you were criticized or blamed by someone? You never stop and look.
Do you remember the times when you won an award, felt truly great and on top of the world?
You stop and remember those moments that proved that the human being is wonderfully incredible.
Are you?

It is your birthright to love and honor yourself. The good news is that you can step back
Value what is yours. This is your self-esteem.

There is absolutely no reason for people to suffer from low self-esteem.

Your self-esteem is something you have absolute and immediate control over. Think of self-esteem as
a muscle; it never remains the same for any period of time.

Like any muscle that either weakens or gets stronger. Improving self-esteem is
how to exercise a muscle. It is based on small incremental improvement on a daily basis. You do not
I will run to the gym and have perfect muscles for life in an hour. Consistent improvement of
Self-esteem is the only path to lasting success and an improvement in the quality of your daily life.

Your self-esteem contributes to your vitality, energy level, persistence, and charm.
Self-esteem is about what is inside, a belief in oneself and one's abilities.
positive focuses on self-acceptance and acceptance of others. It remains constant, despite the storm. It
promotes cooperation and integrity.
50
 Building self-esteem will eventually lead to self-improvement, if you start to become
responsible for who you are, what you have, and what you do. It's like a flame that must gradually
mind spreads like a fire from the inside out. When you develop self-esteem
you take control of our mission, values, and discipline. Self-esteem brings self-improvement,
true evaluation and determination.

Be positive. Be cheerful and happy. Be grateful. Never miss an opportunity to praise.

A positive way of living will help you develop self-esteem.

It's never too late to build your self-esteem, and you can start immediately.
Self-esteem has a great impact on how you enjoy life. Respecting others, yourself,
And life in general. Practice these techniques and become the person you want to be. You deserve it!

51
 YOUR CHARISMA QUOTIENT
If I had a cult, I wouldn't be the ONLY person with charm and charisma. In fact, the ob-
The objective of my cult is to ensure that anyone can form their own sect, if they wanted to.

You know... there is something about you that I like and it's not just that you're reading this book. I don't
I can put my finger on it... and it's not just the fact that you bought this book... but there's something about
you who makes it attractive.

You have charisma!

How do I know? I know you have charisma because you are open to the world around you and
ready to learn new things that the universe has to offer. If there is one characteristic that without-
we find in charismatic people, it is openness.

Thus, I think I have a right attached when I say that you have charisma, even if you
you don’t know that yet.

Charisma is easy to detect. You could probably name a dozen people 'charismatic.'
máticas" que você conhece na política, na indústria do entreterimento, ou na sua vida pessoal. Mas
even though it is easy to detect, charisma is not so easy to break down into its fundamental components
mental, in order to replicate for oneself, of course.

THE FACTOR 'THIS'

It is not so easy to identify exactly what it is about a person that makes him or her expensive.
Matic. You know that someone has 'that'. You just can't define what 'that' is.

Charisma is an attraction that goes beyond good looks... an appeal that cannot be labeled...
a captivating quality that is not the result of mere intellectual brilliance or a tremendous sense of
humor.

Most people see charisma as something fleeting and unattainable—a kind of magnetism.
magical and mysterious that, either you were born with it, or you weren't. However, the fact is that nothing could be
further from the truth!

Charisma is not a function of DNA. It can be developed, and it can be developed by

You. Wouldn't learning this skill make this book worth it?

THE SCIENCE OF CHARISMA

The study of charisma and its role in leadership began with Max Weber. This pioneering sociologist
the beginning of the 20th century defined charismatic leadership as a motivation endowed and inspired from
of a leader who pursues a vision, attracts followers to identify with and imitate him.
52
 Charismatic leaders have strong core values that drive their behavior. They
they are also articulate, able to speak dynamically, with strength, and very convincingly-
they lie that other people acquire the vision, and want to achieve it themselves.

These leaders are usually unconventional pioneers; confident, and with a large amount of...
competent enough for people to feel comfortable following your leadership. This makes the
charisma is especially important in a crisis situation, because people are more prone
looking in the direction of a person who seems capable of completely taking them away.

THE MINUTE YOU ENTERED SPACE...

Howard Friedman, professor of psychology (University of California, Riverside) is a specialist

in non-verbal communication. He defines charisma as 'a certain presence'. Let's learn more
about this critical aspect of charisma soon.

When charismatic people enter a room, their mere presence draws attention, and their
energy can radiate to enliven the whole meeting. At the center of this charisma, Friedman says, is "a
basic self-confidence" and the ability to project that onto others.

PRESENTS UNDER THE CHARISM TREE

Right now, you are at a fork in the road. You will continue making the mes-
older things, with the same old results, or will you move forward in a new direction, that
it may seem a little scary at first, in order to make your life fuller, more successful,
Is it happier?

You may need a little push to go in the right direction, because the fact of the matter
Your charisma quotient needs improvement... and that takes work, fun work. First,
however, you have to mentally commit to doing whatever is necessary to elevate your status
aware of charisma.

I invite you to pay attention to your preferred frequency, and in the next chapter, WII-FM.

What's In It For Me, A.K.A. WII-FM

Here is a partial list of the 'past but golden', an overview of things in-
amazing things that having charisma can do for you.

You will have much more respect than average people.

People will be attracted to you without any effort on your part.

You will exude self-confidence.

You will appear powerful without being intimidating.

You will make people feel at ease and make them feel understood.

53
 You will be able to easily get what you want because people instinctively want
to help you!

In your personal relationships, the quality of charisma can make your life fuller and happier.
Your family members and your friends will be much happier in your company, and you will have a...
greater fluency over them, making them feel better about themselves, and act better with things
important in their lives.

Face the facts. Charisma can make you irresistible.

CALL ME IRRESISTIBLE

The New Webster Collegiate Dictionary defines charisma as 'a personal magic of leadership'.
awakening special popular loyalty or enthusiasm for a public figure." Charisma is also
that special quality of magnetism that each person has, and that each person uses to a certain degree.
The people who look at you, who respect and admire you, your family members, your friends
And colleagues would probably say that they find you charismatic. Why? Because you always
that when a person feels a positive emotion towards another, they imbue that person with charisma.

In an attempt to explain charisma, some people speak of an 'aura' that radiates from a
a person and affects the other people around him or her in a positive or negative way. Consider,
por exemplo, as pinturas religiosas dos santos e místicos ao longo da história e como eles são retratados
with halos, in an attempt to convey the intensity that emanated from them.

You also have an aura around you that most people cannot see. But
visible or not, she is there, after all. This aura affects the way people react and re-
I answer you, whether positively or negatively. It is easy to see why it is in your best interest to learn.
much to control this aura and put it to work in your favor.

CHARISMA SELLS

The charismatic seller is almost invariably a top performer in their field, and the one who
enjoy all the rewards that come with higher sales. If you are in sales, your charisma
can have an important impact on how your prospects and clients will treat and deal with you
you. I'm sure you noticed that top sellers seem to be much more successful.
more than average sellers do in interacting with their clients.

Charismatic sellers are always more welcome, received in a more positive way and more
more reliable than others. They sell more, and they sell easily. They make a better life.
and builds a better life than those who have not fully developed their potential.
Charisma potential. Charismatic salespeople derive much more pleasure from their work and suffer less.
stress and rejection.

CHARISMA MAKES YOU INFLUENTIAL

If you are in business, developing greater charisma can help you tremendously in tra-
converse with your team, your suppliers, your bankers, your clients, and everyone else about the
which you depend on for your success.
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 People seem naturally attracted to those who possess charisma. When you have
charisma, other people will want to help you and support you in your efforts. People will open doors.
for you and to bring opportunities that otherwise would not have been available to you.

Charisma gives you a huge advantage in almost every possible situation:

Sales calls
Business meetings
- Putting your children to do homework
Rely on the collaboration of a store employee or teacher.

Just imagine how much easier your life will be when people are instantly attracted.
for you and they automatically want to help you.

You will be able to inspire people, ignite their enthusiasm, persuade them to see things
in your own way, and do what you want with them—without creating defensiveness or resentment.

Você vê, essa é a beleza do carisma. Carisma não te transforma em um trapaceiro astuto, jogando
sand in people's eyes and deceiving them. When you release your charisma—which is really a burden
in saying when you live and speak authentically from a place of 'inner truth'―people will
naturally wanting to be by your side.

If you are running a company, a department, a classroom, a program of

volunteering, or a home, there is no skill more valuable than the ability to positively influence
against the others.

You already have the potential to be more charismatic. Together, we are going to unlock it,
so you can also have an extraordinary advantage in life shared only by a few
few selected.

Body for Spirit, Body for Spirit, Come in Favor

Charisma has certain characteristics: expansiveness for example, energy, joy, and creativity.
Charisma is a way of being that brings forth all your powers, from the pragmatic to the in-
inspiration, for the intellectual, is a way to relate to yourself and to those who trace-
Balham with you and they play, even for the universe itself. At its core, charisma is both disarming.
simple and immensely complex, for it is the spirit that is exclusive to you.

Establish contact with your unique spirit, learn to understand and respect it and, finally,
having the courage to live from it is all about acquiring charisma. Simply put, the more
Complete and honestly your unique nature will show, the more charisma you will have.

Simple? Nothing could be simpler.

You Are What You Speak: Charismatic Words

The scholar Cynthia Emrich grew interested in the language of charisma after reading a

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theory that memorable art creates images in the mind of the viewer. A study of Shakespeare's sonnets
Shakespeare, for example, discovered that the most popular sonnets have more image-based words,
such as 'heart', 'hand', or 'desert'.

Emrich states that in the pre-television era, the words spoken sometimes seemed like the source
of charisma. "We tend to equate charisma with a type of sexual appeal or charm, but you
"You can find charismatic leaders who were almost not attractive at all," she says, pointing to the first.
British minister Winston Churchill, undeniably tremendously charismatic, but not attractive.
physically.

Charisma in the White House

In a historical study of presidential speeches, it was found that US presidents now

considered charismatic by historians were heavy users of image-based words.
And just like those called charismatic, the presidents who used more words evoking im-
Agents in fundamental speeches have also been classified as the most effective.

There is no definitive theory on why image-words would be more persuasive and expensive.
mathematics than the idea-words, although some studies suggest that it is because they involve a
different part of the brain. When you use image-based words, Emrich says, "it's not just
something that they see, but also hear and like.

An important part of charisma is the ability to evoke images in a follower's mind.

A message that is easy to 'see' is easier to understand, and it works well for the message.
how much for the messenger.

The A-B-C of Charismatic Communication

A: Your Deep Inner Voice - Enveloping Your Body

It's more likely that you don't involve your body much in your speech. You probably
breathe superficially, and when you speak, the resonance of your voice probably comes mainly from
mind from your throat, neck, and head, instead of out of your chest or deeper in your
body. This is not good.

Practice breathing more deeply, and practice letting the sound come from within that interior.
deep in you. The following exercise will help considerably:

Exercise: Open wide and say Ahhhhh

Breathe deeply and say 'ahhhh, ahhhh, ahhhh' with each breath, letting the sound out.
from a lower place in your body. Then try to speak. You will see that your voice is more resonant and
easier to hear. If you do this every day, soon your breathing habit will change, and your tone
vocal will change along with him.

You can practice this exercise whenever it is convenient: in the car on the way to work,
in the shower in the morning, or whenever you are alone. The benefits will always be worth it; it is very
simply do not do it.
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 B: Speak with Excitement

Many people who have been said to lack charisma have usually gotten into the habit of never
show real emotion about anything.

Charismatic, attractive people, on the other hand, are good at conveying their enthusiasm with the
things in their lives by the way they speak. You can learn to do this by practicing speaking.
about things.

Exercise: Put the Pointer in the Red Zone

Imagine there is a gauge strapped to your forehead that records the 'output of excitement' from your
speech. If your Charisma Quotient is low, the indicator needle will likely remain low
also. Your work in becoming a more charismatic person is to learn to get so excited about
something that makes the meter explode!

You learn to do this like anything else... through practice. Choose a topic, and spend
one minute talking about the subject with enthusiasm. Really let yourself go, and get excited about it!
It doesn't matter if you are talking about soccer, a barbecue recipe, your spouse, your business,
or the world politics. The subject doesn't matter, only your ability to convey your enthusiasm
on the subject.

As you practice speaking excitedly, you will find that you are more lively and emotional.
engaged in all your conversations, and this fact will make you much more charismatic.

Don't Be Dull

Many people who come across as boring and unfocused were not rewarded during
your years of training to speak with certainty or determination. As a result, they came to believe
that the best way to succeed in life was to stay "under the radar" and never stand out too much
committed to nothing.

This is a good way to get ahead if you don't mind being completely devoid.
of charisma and all the benefits it brings.

If you prefer to do more than just get by, if you would really like to be expensive-
pragmatic in your personal and professional life, then it's time to start experimenting with speaking confidently.

Exercise: Remove and Replace

Soaring insipid is much more a function of the language you use when you express yourself. A
an easy way to stop seeming adrift without a rudder is to remove the words "I think" from your speech.
vocabulary.

Small verbal changes can have an immense impact on how dynamic and charismatic
you look like other people. But 'waste removal' is only half the task. When you
breaking a habit (like saying 'I think'), you can't just stop the behavior. You
it should replace one behavior with another.
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 When it comes to radiating charisma, you want to remove all words of doubt and replace them.
You should express them with words of certainty. Some examples:

Replace 'I think so' with 'Yes!'

Replace "I think it would look good" with "This is what I want".
Let's sit over there.

It's true that some people have a natural charisma in their speech, but the rest of us only have to
practice. The good news is that practice works.

Exercise: The Two Steps of Charisma

Now that you are starting to understand the importance of increasing your Quotient of
Charisma, and now that you realize it's possible for you to increase your Charisma Quotient, it is
It's time for your first mission. Don't worry. It's a blink of an eye!

First Step: Identify the people you seem to have a lot of charisma with - the people who
but they know you, like you, and respect you. How can you increase your charisma with these people?
soas?

Second Step: Identify the people you feel exude charisma, the people that you
but likes, respects and admires. What is there about them that you can copy or imitate?

Well done! Simply by examining the charisma that is already in your life, you are two steps ahead.
closer to increasing your powers to a new level.

Now it's time to move forward to identify the areas in life where charisma works well.
hor.

Identifying the Thirteen Different Faces of Charisma

Doe Lang, author of Who's Got the Power (of Charisma)... and Why, has extensively written about
the charisma and identified thirteen different instances in which charisma is displayed:

Charisma Cross-Over: The charisma that people gain from achieving success in a
an area that can transition to a completely different field of activity. One example could
include the charismatic author and bodybuilder Arnold Schwarzenegger, who rose above in politics
California as well as its predecessor Ronald Reagan.

Cumulative Charisma: People, especially celebrities, who spend many, many years of
conquests in the eyes of the public and become so iconic that their charisma transcends anything that can-
This would be your current situation. Consider 'fallen idols' like Elvis and Marilyn Monroe, for example.

Intellectual Charisma: Philosophers, writers, and great thinkers of the world were due to the power
magnetic of your ideas, as well as your ability to convey them. This also applies to people.
who are successful in business, like Einstein, Thomas Wolfe, Thomas Edison, and Maureen Dowd.

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 Intrinsic Charisma: This is the most illusory of all forms of charisma. It is the thing that makes someone...
my most unforgettable person. It has nothing to do with fame or fortune, and is often found
It is in the simplest person. This charisma cannot be learned and is truly a gift.
of the universe. People with intrinsic charisma can be a cleric, your 5th grade music teacher,
or a Holocaust survivor.

Charisma (also known as "mythical") Legendary: Truly the material that the
legends are made, this charisma is attributed to real and fictional characters whose achievements are larger-than-
the lives make them very attractive. Colombo, Goliath, and Paul Bunyan fit into this category.

Media Charisma: You don't need to look beyond a reality television show to see the
power of the media in making someone charismatic. Ordinary people, whose only goal is to be seen on television-
vision, suddenly become sought after... especially as commercial spokespeople so that they
They can account for their '15 minutes' of charisma. Omarosa (from The Apprentice) is one of those people.
what made most of you in your television exposure.

Monetary Charisma: Nothing is as seductive as power, unless it is money that buys.

this power. For many, all that is needed is monetary charisma to transform an 'oddball' or
an "eccentric" or an "ugly" person as someone with "a unique and personal style." Consider it as Bill.
Gates or Donald Trump would be taxed without their money.

Performance Charisma: Unlike performance anxiety, performance charisma

it's a good thing. It doesn't matter if you are the biggest star in the Hollywood firmament, or the underpaid
exhausted keyboardist of the local bar band, his role as an artist immediately offers a pricey appeal
Matic. (Hey, you've never heard of groupies!) Billy Bob Thornton, Sean Penn, Oprah Winfrey are
great artists.

Political Charisma: Also known as Power Charisma, the ebbs and flows of charisma
politician, along with political success. A newly elected president is dripping with charisma.
politician, but it is likely to see him start to erode the minute he makes an unpopular decision
to connect with voters.

Scientific Charisma: The ability to discover new facts, discover new worlds, and heal the
age males make scientists highly charismatic. We want to know more about them and how.
they think, so that we can think of great things, too.

Situational Charisma: Some people are lucky enough to be born into a life that gives them charisma.
Royal descendants, politicians, and celebrities often enjoy charisma thanks to the status of their
country, but more often waste their charismatic 'capital' by behaving poorly.

Spiritual Charisma: The magnetic charisma of ancient religious figures and more leaders contains-
Pioneers come from their spiritual faith and selfless devotion to their belief system. Jesus, Buddha, and Mother
Teresa, each one had a powerful charisma during their lives.

Athletic Charisma: The cult of personality around famous sports stars; call
or the 'charisma by marking card', is enormous. Madison Avenue takes advantage of this charisma by having figures
well-loved sports products so that consumers are eager to emulate their
charismatic idol and 'Be Like Mike'. Michael Jordan is now both a brand and a legend in
59
sport.

Exercise: Find Your Source of Charisma

What makes you feel charismatic? It's your ability to explain the new zoning laws.
for your condominium neighbor (intellectual charisma)? It's the status of the top championship with the team
from your bowling company (athletic charisma)? Or maybe it's the peace and energy you feel for
cause of your faith.

Take the next moments to review the thirteen previous categories in order to find the source.
of your power to feel good about yourself. If you are lucky, and I think you are, you will
find many aspects of your life that make you charismatic to others. This is an exercise
simple, but it goes a long way to help refine your power, and when you know what the source is
With your power, you can then 'amplify' the output.

Reach Out and Touch: Making a Connection

I "Feel" You...

A person who develops their charisma is likely to do well in all aspects of life.
for one main reason...connection. Charismatic people connect with others.
around emotionally, mentally, and even physically.

As you seek to improve your Charisma Quotient, remember that people often
Sometimes they become frustrated and resentful when they feel like someone is making them do something.
something, and as a result they dig into their heels. Charismatic people strive to
create feelings of collaboration and equality.

Charismatic people approach others interactively and offer a choice, transforming

an order in a request. For example, telling a subordinate "Copy this report" is a way
level of coercion from a position of power.

But if you rephrase the question as, 'Would you mind copying this report?' or 'Would you ...
Is there time to copy this report now?
the possibility of more than one result... thus giving your employee a sense of power and you
a charismatic leadership aura.

Similarly, you cannot just ask employees to 'Be more productive.'

or 'Improve your efficiency!' and hope that they feel invested in the process of making your place
work better. But you can organize them into teams or create suggestion systems that really
How they work, and give people more information about the company's profits and losses.

The second approach is more comprehensive, more other-oriented, and focused on needs.
The caring nature of your employees. Your empathy empowers your staff and that is a great advantage.
for them, for you, and for the company. Never forget to acknowledge the achievements, contributions, and
particular skills of other people.

Everyone wants to feel they are on a winning team, and they want to feel that their con-
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Contribution, no matter how small, was important. The charismatic person will pick someone doing.
One right thing is to celebrate successes with enthusiasm.

Charisma By Examples

Charismatic people have heard all the jokes about why you can't swing it
corporate boat. "We have never done it this way before". "It's a very radical change". No
Meanwhile, the difference is that charismatic people simply pay less attention to them.

In fact, the charismatic person is often good-humored, challenges, jabs, and pokes as
he or she encourages others to stretch.

Take Michael Jordan. Even in practice, the superstar is known for being the tallest and
demanding on the court, encourages his teammates to strive harder. This endless level of competitiveness
Dad is Jordan's way of being inspiring, he never stops trying his best, even when
no one is keeping count.

I suggest that you be aggressively optimistic and willing to be the first to do something and be
ready to take the heat if it doesn't work out. These qualities make you the kind of person that others ...
they respect, trust, and establish their professional life for.

Types of Behavior: More than Just A and B

Have you ever wondered why you click with some people immediately?
how much with others is like water and oil? This can have a lot to do with your type of behavior and
the type of behavior of the person you are talking about.

Although you have many aspects to your behavior, each of us displays the characteristics
characteristics of one of the four types of dominant behavior.

The Director
The Thinker
The Reporter
The Socializer

Each of these four styles has very distinct and predictable patterns of behavior.
servable. After understanding these patterns, you have the key to unlock your ability to
to live with almost anyone.

No style is better than another, as each has its good and bad points. When you
identify your own dominant behavior, you will also gain some introspection into the pon-
strong points and weaknesses of your style. This is essential to help you understand the things that you
does that in summary may not work with someone else's style. Self-knowledge is the key to
development of stronger business and personal relationships and improvement of interpersonal skills
soais.

After gaining a grasp on finding behavior styles, you will find yourself more
able to live with your family, friends, and colleagues. You will even find it easier to deal with.
61
with strangers.

When you increase your Charisma Quotient, you will overflow with positive energy from
an optimistic self-confident person. Nothing stands in your way because you are able to see almost all the prob-
issues as soluble, focusing on the desired results rather than possible failures. This attitude
positive is tremendously charismatic and helps to encourage people to move forward and convert their sen-
turning fear into a feeling of opportunity.

Life will be much less stressful because you won't have to deal with the conflict that many
sometimes comes from "heads bumping" with the behavioral style of another person. Instead of a pe-
a small misunderstanding exploding into a big problem, you will be able to end the problem
before he starts to get out of control.

Remember that even if you never have a chance to lead a company, to lead a move-
By mentoring or occupying local positions, you can use your charisma, present or future, to do good for yourself and
for others, and make a positive change in big and small ways.

Studying Charisma

Can Charisma Be Measured?

Can charisma be measured? Yes, an examination of non-verbal signals, such as facial expressions, gestures.
Body movements speak about someone's charisma.

For example, charismatic people smile naturally, with wrinkles around their eyes. They usually
they are demonstrative, often touching friends during conversations. Even people who can be car-
Those characterized as shy can also be considered charismatic and influential because of their
the ability to convey emotions through non-verbal signals. Unfathomable people are the opposite pole.
and they are the least charismatic.

You Are the Judge

Studies in courts show that elements of charisma help us make judgments about
the people and their integrity. For example, regardless of innocence or guilt, if the defendant is self-confident and
Very articulate, the jury is more likely to vote for an acquittal if the opposing party is less costly.
mathematics.

Can Charisma be Learned?

Despite appearances to the contrary, charisma is not a mysterious trait of undefined character,
but a set of interconnected skills. Some people learn these skills
when they are young, because they were lucky enough to learn from the example of their parents, teachers, me-
brothers of the clergy, etc.

They were lucky, then. You are lucky now. You can learn the skills for yourself.
own.

Charisma can be developed; it is not the product of DNA and genetics. The expression, 'Leaders
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they are made, not born" and the corollary "Charisma is caring, not nurturing" is a hallmark of the training industry
personal and executive mentoring.

Okay, so you are probably wondering: 'If a person can learn to become
but charismatic, what are the fundamental steps to achieve personal charisma?

Changing your Charisma Quotient from 'Okay' to 'Oh, my!' is simply a

the issue of developing the eight secret competencies listed on the following pages. This way you can
discover these secrets, the most important information contained in this book.

Eight Secret Skills to Increase Your Charisma Quotient

Secret Skill #1 'Reading' People

In order to communicate with someone, you will want to have an idea of what they are thinking.
and feeling. You can acquire this skill by observing the people you know, trying to
guessing what emotion they are feeling, and then asking them if their guess is correct, from
a colloquial and non-intrusive way. Over time, your guessing ability will improve.

Secret Skill #2 Emotional Expression

Studies have shown that most people are not as good as they think at
communicating emotions non-verbally. How do you do that? With the tone of your voice, your face, and your
body language. The best way to improve your emotional expression is to try to convey more
feeling when you are talking to people. If you want to improve quickly,
practice in front of a mirror or film yourself.

Secret Skill #3 Conceal Emotions (Selectively)

Showing the wrong emotion at the wrong moment can cause discomfort to others or make them feel...
people lose respect for you (not having emotional control is a sign of immaturity and lack of
self-discipline). Moreover, emotions are contagious, and some are reckless to spread,
especially anger and embarrassment.

Some people are not very good at concealing their emotions from others. Their inability to
a neutral expression makes him less charismatic, because sometimes emotion is inappropriate for the situation.

Secret Skill #4 Learn to Read Between the Lines

The best way to practice is simply to sit in a café and enhance your observation.
of people. Observe the passersby during their verbal and non-verbal interactions with others, and pro-
cure subtle clues and signs that may be emitting. The ability to focus your attention beyond yourself.
Self is an important aspect of charisma.

Secret Skill #5 Playing by the (Social) Rules

When in Rome, act like the Romans, if you want them to think you are charismatic.
Social rules differ for different cultures, subcultures, ages, and religions.
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 Since part of being charismatic is to 'mirror' what is happening around you (to do the
people feel comfortable with you), you need to pay attention, study, and ask questions
to find out what is considered 'the norm' in a specific environment, things like who crosses
the first door, how to introduce yourself to others, who reports to whom, and much more. A good pes-
to ask for guidance on social rules is an older socially competent person than
you've been around the block before.

Secret Skill #6 Develop a Multiple Personality

The ability to play different roles with different people, and to know what works
better can provide a great boost to your Charisma Quotient. But if being charismatic
It's about being yourself, how you can play different roles and still be true to yourself?

The personality of each one, yours, mine, Aunt Millie's, Detective Bob's, the personality of
Everyone has many aspects, even contradictory and conflicting aspects. You are not always happy,
Is it? Or always sad. You are not always cordial and not always dismissive, but you are not always
solitary and calm as well. Being socially flexible is about allowing the appropriate aspect of you
take place in every situation that happens.

Secret Skill #7 Have the Talk

This is the ability to use words to express oneself clearly and engagingly. You
You can improve your skill by paying attention to what some interesting people and others do.
chat, and by practicing you learn.

Secret Skill #8 Increase Your Word Power (Vocabulary)

Spending more time expressing yourself verbally is very important, chatting, giving dis-
Courses. It's worth improving your ability to express yourself with words.

You don't have to memorize a new list of twenty words every morning, but try to...
Finding different ways to express oneself is important. Just as it happens in almost everything in life,
Enhancing charisma will require you to develop the skill of communication.

Secret of the Secret

One thing I want to mention about the secrets of charisma is that if you share
With these secrets, people will find you more charismatic than ever!

Body, Mind, and Spirit

The Charismatic Mind

Charismatic people enchant the minds of others. Their ideas and ideals tend to elevate the
our vision above the mundane. Exercise your brain to enhance the charismatic prowess of your mind.

Leia.
Take a course on a new subject for you.
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 Continue your professional development.
Learn personality types.
Develop a better vocabulary.
Offer to teach or train others.

Interestingly, even when we have the feeling that a charismatic person may not be the
the smartest person, we give credit to your words, because we see that they think deeply
about things and are able to communicate their ideas and thoughts meaningfully.

The Charismatic Body

Some people are physically charismatic. The motivational speaker Tony Robbins makes it clear-
She had an imposing presence, thanks to her super-sized structure that contributed significantly
lies about your charisma.

Now, this is an example where nature is at work, not nutrition.

However, you can improve your physical skills (if not your size) to improve.
your charisma in the following ways:

Improve your health and vitality

Improve your ability to look people in the eyes.
Develop a firm handshake
Wear clothes that accentuate your best features
Realize yourself proudly with your head held high
Learn to smile more

The Charismatic Spirit

The connection we tend to identify more with charismatic leaders is emotional. Although
few people have known Mahatma Gandhi or the Dalai Lama, their words and actions have inspired
millions of people.

To connect emotionally with others in a more charismatic way, you should...

Improve your oral communication skills

Improve your writing skills
Focus less on yourself when communicating.
Learn to listen better
Become more aware of space and body language
Become more optimistic

Presence and Charisma

The most powerful manifestation of charisma is 'presence'. Presence, as used here, refers to
quality of respectful attention commander.

To further define presence, think of it more specifically as the way you

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behaves.

Exercise: Visualizing Charisma

Imagine um estacionamento repleto linha após linha de pequenos Cooper minis vermelhos. No
in the middle of this "red sea" is a dark blue Ferrari. The Ferrari is alone, elegant, sporty and
compared to the small square Minis. The Ferrari is not moving... its engine is
turned off. She is simply there, commanding your attention. Presence! Now imagine yourself as the Fer-
rare, separate and distinct from the other small ones with an appeal and fascination all its own.

Three Ways to Have Charismatic 'Presence'

Having a 'presence' is an essential part of having charisma, that's why let's talk about ways to
establish your presence.

Your Mother Was Right: "Don't Soften Up!"

Your posture should make you appear confident and at ease with your surroundings. Pay attention to
how you walk, sit, and stay. Even if you are not comfortable, maintain a posture that
inform others who you are.

S-O-R-R-I-A

A friendly smile is one of your most powerful charisma 'weapons' and can work wonders.
if you use it in the right strategic intervals. A friendly smile breaks the ice, overcomes resistance
hello, and it involves an aura of self-esteem and confidence.

You Are the Judge

In any situation where you are dealing with another person, you need to stay focused on tact.
and diplomacy. To maintain your Charisma Quotient so that others will be attracted to you,
you need to analyze the situations so that you know when to speak and what to say when you do, and how
to present oneself in the most attractive way throughout the interaction.

In a world where most people do not have a high level of presence, it is easy to
highlight when you have this and show it. Although it is difficult, until you develop your own
high level of presence, you can even pretend that you have.

However, take note: the trick to pretending is to pretend sincerely.

The Concept of 'Universal Presence'

When it comes to first impressions, there is a statistically proven zone that most of the
people respond, and for the purposes of this section, let's call it the "safety zone."

You can dress the same way you always have, or you can dress yourself in
a way that people are known mostly to admire. The important thing to
Understanding is that it is your clothing that will establish your presence, and that presence can attract others.
66
people for you or send them running for the hills.

The Style Channel

If you are trying to transform your Charisma Quotient with the opposite sex, you will
dress with personal style. A good sense of personal style sends the charismatic message, "I care"
about me and about the image I present.

Don't confuse lasting style with passing fads. If you do that, you'll end up a
victim of fashion, pulled in any direction that the current trend dictates. Do not try to imitate
trendsetters simply buy what they are trying to sell.

To give a boost to your Charisma Quotient, be a little creative, looking for those
items that will make your wardrobe more original than the average well-dressed person.

The great seducers, infamous charismatic lovers like Valentino, Don Juan, and others, understand
they thought that what women seek the most is in a man's appearance, and so they portrayed it.
this image with the sole purpose of getting these women. Today, this means that if you are
looking for a woman who is big in the country, then dressing in a hip hop look, probably-
mind, it won't have a good effect.

University girls like university boys. Bikers like tattooed bikers. Gangsters
They like outlaws. Punk rock girls like punk rock boys. Cowgirls like cowboys.
Yes, I know that 'opposites attract', but from a charismatic perspective, birds of a feather
they think that the other birds are charismatic.

Therefore, to bring your Charisma Quotient, you must always keep in mind that a style
people who are very different from the 'universal presence' conveyed by successful people in
Different spheres of life are likely to distance people.

In itself, these simple details, showing a positive and prestigious face to the world do not
You will become Kid Charisma. But you will put everything together and this is called 'presence', a fundamental piece.
in your charisma base.

Exercise: Fine Clothing

Charismatic people exist in politics, religion, the entertainment world, sports, and everyone.
os caminhos da vida. Para este exercício, eu quero que você pense em 10 pessoas que você acreditar ter
a lot of charisma. They can be men or women, alive or dead, it really doesn't matter, con-
so much that you think they have charisma.

Now try to identify some of the common points that exist in the way these people
clothes. I don't mean to say that they all wear brown shoes or button the last button of their
shirts. I want you to look at the things that contribute to your universal presence, such
how...

How do they dress in relation to current fashion?

What about your clothes makes them stand out?
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 Are they dressed casually or formally?

Your goal is to recognize the elements of universal presence in your clothes, and understand what
these elements can transmit to others. For example:

Stylish clothing (in tune with the times)

Clothes that stand out (not afraid of the spotlight)
Casually dressed (a man of the people)
Dressed formally (a woman who has conquered)

It is in human instinct to seek patterns in the world around them. In fact, if we cannot
finding patterns... we create them! It is a subconscious psychological function that makes it more
easy for us to relate to the situations we are presented with, responding to them based on
in past experiences.

By creating an aura of charisma, you can use this instinct to your advantage, bringing it-
mentos for your personal style that you know will send specific messages to others. If
you look like a charismatic person who is used to receiving respect and even admiration,
you will be conditioned as a person who is likely charismatic and worthy of respect and ad-
wonder.

Pre-Judged

When you exude a universal charismatic presence, people will prejudge you as with-
successful and well-liked, and someone they would like to stay in touch with. As soon as it has been conditioned
two in this way... categorized with one of the good guys.

Many elements make up charisma, presence is just one of them, but I will call it 'The Great'
Red". Most people do not understand the charismatic personality and can only assume that
this comes naturally to some people.

This is undoubtedly true, but only for some very rare and selective ones.

For the rest of us, charisma is less about a naturally endowed genetic science and more
about a socially acquired art, something we practice in our daily encounters with others
until it is developed over time.

Charisma in Your Personal Life

Charisma and Relationships

In a relationship, your charisma manifests in your ability to understand and respond.

to the needs and desires of the other person, making you more attractive. Understanding the nature of
own relationships, including the Nine Eternal Rules below, can be so important for your
success in love is like the understanding of the person you are having a relationship with.

Nine Eternal Rules of Relationship

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 From first love to winter romances, the following is true of all relationships.
Ignore this list at your own risk.

Relationships Don't Happen by Chance

Relationships are not accidents that come from nowhere, you create them and you have to make them...
I strive to keep them. It is a universal law where the time you invest in others always pays off.

Relationships Are Based on Need

Everyone has their needs. The trick is to discover those needs, since some
they may not express them verbally. Focus on your partner. Ask how you can respond
There is a desire that he or she has. Your guiding principle should be, 'you can get everything that
IF YOU just want to help someone achieve what HE OR SHE wants.

Relationships Do Not Hold Grudges

Despite the use of terms like 'perfect combination' and 'perfect couple', the idea of a relationship-
the perfect mentor is perfectly ridiculous. We all make mistakes dealing with other people, for
it is important to forget and forgive the imperfections of others in order to build a relationship
strong.

Relationships That Last Take Time

Relationships are generally formed with long-term goals in mind. This means
deep relationships will evolve slowly, because the stakes, the life as a couple, are very
big. In this case, "haste leaves residues," and a divorce or an ugly breakup. How much lack of
charisma!

Relationships Are As Unique As Those In Them

Two people are not the same and thus there are no two relationships that are the same. You
will shoot your Charismatic Quotient through the roof, and your relationships will deepen and for-
talcer, if you can accept the uniqueness of others as a precious gift.

Instead of trying to classify someone into your ideas or forcing your relationship to conform
with some externally created fact, you will be much happier in the long run if you end the relationship
in accordance with the people who are in it.

Relationships Build You

"My partner brings out the best in me," is how most people define their partner.
charismatic ones that love. Relationships are built on encouragement, so always try to make your partner-
you feel good, even if you are pushing them beyond their comfort zone for a new
level of intimacy.

Relationships Are Essential

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 Man is a pack animal seeking positive and healthy relationships. A
Once you understand that nothing is more important than people, you will convey this message.
supportive charisma in everything she does. This, in turn, will bring people together by her side
and you will develop a broad spectrum of essential personal relationships: lovers, friends, confidants,
and much more.

Relationships Are For Two

There is no such thing as a relationship of one person. For a relationship to thrive it requires
the cooperation of both parties. Otherwise, it is unrequited love (at most) and a
hunted (in the worst way). You can't have a relationship with someone who is not interested in having one.
a friend with you. Use your charismatic listening and skills to be sensitive to what people are feeling.
seeking, responding to your charm.

Relationships are Greater than the Sum of Their Parts

In a good relationship, there is energy, your energy and that of your partner. This energy pushes.
each of you to strive to make the relationship work as individuals, and also
leads to a shared excellence.

The tremendous energy of common goals naturally creates an atmosphere of enthusiasm. The
enthusiasm still energizes the relationship itself, initiating an endless cycle of more and more
power and good feelings for both. Charisma at its best!

Charisma in the Professional World

Charisma and Leadership

People attribute the quality of charisma to those leaders whom they feel are more capable of
empower them to achieve important goals and objectives. In a leadership role, your charisma shows-
is like an extraordinary performance, and a focus on achieving extraordinary results.

The results you achieve serve as charismatic inspiration for others to accomplish.
at equally exceptional levels. Remember that charisma always comes from working on oneself, not
of trying to make others see you in a certain way. It is about loving and unconditionally accepting yourself.
mind and do your best to do and say the specific things that develop within you,
a powerful and charismatic personality.

Respect is Charisma

Men and women who make large sales, or who set sales records
wonderful, they develop influence on the minds and hearts of their peers and superiors. They are spoken of
about in the most positive way and often called "charismatic" in deeply rev-
It is a natural impulse to uplift people we feel we can rely on to help us achieve
what is important to us.

Men and women who are responsible for companies or departments that achieve high
níveis de lucratividade também desenvolvem carisma. Eles desenvolvem o chamado "halo efeito". Eles
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are perceived by others as extraordinary people who are capable of great things. Their
failures are often forgotten, while their strengths are overestimated. They become
charismatic.

The disadvantage in the workplace is when the "halo effect" turns into the Crossover Charisma.
A department head who did a great job in another area is often nicknamed
from 'golden boy' and moved to another area where he or she has no experience, and becomes
doomed to failure. Never forget that no amount of charisma can make up for the lack of
formation, knowledge, and experience.

Determination is Charismatic

When you have clear goals and you are determined and purposeful, supporting them with unwavering
self-confidence, you develop charisma. When you are enthusiastic and excited about what you
you are doing, when you are fully committed to achieving something of value, you radiate charisma.

When you take the time to study and become an expert in what you do, and then prepare-
be completely ready for any opportunity to utilize your knowledge, skill, or expertise
Science, the perception that others have of you rises... directly along with your Quotient
of Charisma!

Responsibility is Charismatic

When you take responsibility and accept ownership, without blaming others or giving excuses.
sculpt, you experience a feeling of control that leads to the personal power that is at the base of
charisma. When you act like a winner in every aspect, even when you are not winning
hand... you build your charisma.

When you develop your character by setting high standards and then disciplining yourself
to live in a way consistent with the highest principles you know... you build your
charisma. When you become the kind of person who is admired and respected everywhere, you
becomes the kind of person who radiates charisma to others.

Results are Charismatic

It is easy for people to be drawn to a dreamer who spins fantastic visions of success.
But if these visions constantly disappear into thin air, the allure of the dream dissipates as well.

When you focus your energies on achieving the goals you have set for yourself or for
Obtaining results that others expect from you, you develop a reputation for performance.
and achievement that inevitably leads to the perception of charisma.

Exercise: Definition of Daily Goals and Achievement of Objectives

Ask yourself daily: 'What is the one thing that I and only I can do today, that can be done well,
e fará uma diferença real para a minha vida pessoal ou profissional?" Seja qual for a sua resposta é...
this is your focus for the day.

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 What happens if you don't achieve your daily goal? It simply carries over to the next day.
The following is that you continue your pursuit. Does that make you a failure? No. Quite the opposite.

Your focus on your goal and your consistent prioritization of that goal is an attractive trait.
and a basis of charisma.

Two Steps to Climb the Corporate Ladder

The Core Edge Image & Charisma Institute offers a romantic definition of charisma as 'the
creation of illusions that impact the emotions and psyche of others through a talent, subtlety and lin-
loquacious language.

You can start using charisma to climb the corporate ladder by:

Step 1: Rise Above the Dispute

With a greater propensity for layoffs and restructuring, employees spend a good
part of the time in crisis mode, creating an atmosphere of wild despair. Victims manage to
alliances based on self-interest with attempts to attach your cart to a star.

In such situations, you should maintain a state of neutrality, remaining visibly

committed to the mission and corporate objectives. This 'staying on course' will increase interest
in senior management in your skills and will make you the person to 'go to' when opportunities arise
they will arise.

Remaining calm and controlled while everyone is in panic is the right sign of a
charismatic professional.

Step 2: Walk in the Corridors of Power

You can increase your charisma with both your subordinates and superiors through capital.
social, developing relationships with people who are decision-makers.

Life in the office is a microcosm of the world and, like the world, thrives on loyalty and con-
surety. Exemplifying a high degree of integrity associated with the ability to inspire others.
through empathy, it gives you a place in the Kingdom of Charisma that only a few can achieve.

The Best of Times Are the Worst of Times

The global economy in the Information Age has made the world much more competitive. However,
the components that shape corporate ascension have not changed. In this time, personality, per-
Assistance and corporate knowledge govern the day.

For those looking to climb the corporate ladder, it is not during the best of times that
charisma is so valued. It is in the worst of times that opportunities are created for a charismatic leader
take a step forward, and with enthusiasm and personal magnetism save the day.

Color me Charismatically
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 Discover Your Charisma Colors

There is a lot of research on the topic of color. You will find complex theories about what
they signify the colors, what they provoke in the viewer, and what they can tell you about the person that
he/she chose.

The study of colors can provide important information about how the colors you wear and the
the colors that surround him affect others, and provide him with more fuel to boost his charisma.

Colors and Moods

At the highest level, colors are divided into two categories: cool colors (such as lavender, blue-
greenish, and blue) warm colors (such as red, orange, and yellow). Different colors will...

Fundamental sentence: bege, bronze, marrom

Calm the emotions: peach, pink, blue and green
Energizes the spirits: ["gold","black","wine","red","real"]
Easier on the eyes: green

Colors and Energy

Another way to look at colors is in terms of their relationship with our energy.

Colors that ELEVATE ENERGY: yellows, reds, turquoise, and any bright colors.

Colors that DRAIN ENERGY: dark colors, especially browns.

Colors that CALM Energy: light greens and pinks, and most pastel colors.

Colors that ATTRACT Energy: dark purples, reds, and golds.

Colors and Chakras

The word chakra is derived from Sanskrit meaning wheel. Chakras are rotating vortices of
energy that corresponds to different aspects of life. You have seven chakras that range from the base
from your spine to the top of your head.

It is believed that each chakra radiates a specific color. Some people believe that you
can help harness the power of a chakra, and thus work on specific areas of your life,
bringing this color into your environment (and clothing).

Similarly, if you find yourself attracted to specific colors more than usual, you
You can research the corresponding chakra and see if it relates to the current issues in your life.

Red: Corresponds to the first chakra, which is at the base of your spine. This chakra relates to
survival and its basic needs.

Orange: Corresponds to the second chakra, which is located in your abdomen. This chakra con-
73
it challenges our ability to feel.

Yellow: Corresponds to your third chakra, which is located in your solar plexus. This chakra
control your will and ability to think rationally.

Green: Corresponds to your fourth chakra, which is located in the center of your chest. This chakra
controls the heart, personal power, and healing.

Light Blue: Corresponds to your fifth chakra, which is located in your throat. This chakra
controls creativity, expression, leadership, and who you are in the world.

Dark blue, or Indigo: Corresponds to your sixth chakra, which is located between the som-
eyebrows. This chakra controls your intuition. This chakra is also often referred to as the
third eye

Purple: Corresponds to your seventh chakra, which is located at the top of your head. Called
the 'crown' chakra, this acts as our personal guide in life.

Colors and the Charismatic Power of Feng Shui

Feng Shui is the ancient Chinese art of creating environments that nourish your well-being. In other
words, the creation of charismatic environments. The main idea behind Feng Shui is that placement
of specific objects within a space can harness the power of the invisible force of energy
earth, known as chi.

This placement theory is guided by a map called Bagua, and it is divided into nine sections.
Each section represents a different aspect of life (career, family, wealth, etc.) and manifests through
a specific color.

Red: Fame and reputation

Rosa: Relationships
White Children
Gray Helping people
Black: Career
Blue Knowledge and spirituality
Green Family
Purple Wealth
Yellow: Health

Feng Shui theorists suggest that if there is an area of your life that you are trying to improve and
you find it in the corresponding color of the Baguá, add an element to your clothing to wear in this
situation.

Speak Loud for Charisma

Self-Expression Builds Charisma

People who express themselves fully are healthier, happier, more confident, and energetic.
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because it is much more attractive than those who 'hide themselves'. This is because the expression of their thoughts
mentos and inner feelings release the negativity from your body and being.

The expression cleans your body, mind, and emotions of negativity, allowing your energy.
flow freely in your body. One of the healthiest things you can do for yourself is the
self-expression.

"To express oneself" means "to push outwards." When you allow yourself the freedom of self-ex-
pressure, you externalize your thoughts and feelings which, as you have learned, is an aspect im-
importance of charisma.

When you are expressing your true self, you naturally radiate a light that
shines from within. Nothing is forced. You feel relaxed and open to connect with others. The
people can feel your openness and are attracted to you like a magnet.

Exercise: Self-Expression to Interrupt Depression, Anger, and More

The next time you are about to feel angry, or perhaps the next time that
life
self-expression exercise and see what happens.

Go to a place where you have privacy and can make noise without feeling self-conscious.
Nothing special is needed, except for two chairs.

Place the two chairs so that they are facing each other.

Sit in one of the chairs.

Imagine that "You Who Feel Bad (or Sad or Crazy or Slow)" is sitting on the other
chair.

(Your
name), I understand how you feel. You feel __________ and __________ and __________. I really en-
having all of this.

Ask your other self: 'Is there anything I don't understand?'

Wait a moment and then change the chairs.

Say out loud everything that comes to mind in response to the questions you just asked yourself.
guntar.

Change the chairs again and say: "Thank you for making this clear. Now I understand that"
you also feel __________." (This is the critical step. Your goal is to re-articulate the act in your mind,
the priorities you just said out loud.)

Now lie down, relax, and breathe. Notice any difference. You might feel a little silly,
but you can also feel calmer, energized, and open to connect with others.
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 The pointer on your 'I Feel Stupid' gauge can go straight into the red zone in
first times you try to do this exercise. Don't give in and don't give up. As the power of the exer-
Cício begins to transform him, giving him the tools to express himself clearly and authentically.
you will understand how it is useful in a way that hones your charismatic communication skills.

It's All Good!

The simple act of creatively expressing how you feel releases your intensity and frees you.
for the connection with others. Instead of feeling confused trying to understand what you need and
be, you will be clear-headed and focused on the objectives that matter most to you.

In this way, self-expression can help you transform your life so that you can become
everything you want to be. Charismatic!

The Dark Side of Charisma

Infelizmente algumas pessoas que têm o dom do carisma cometeram um desvio dessa ferramente
to manipulate and deceive others in order to achieve personal gain or power. This has been a prob-
common theme throughout human history: Adolf Hitler, Jim Jones, David Koresh.

For decades this was incorrectly considered by many people that all the great
political and religious leaders possessed a characteristic called charisma. This influential trait was
defined as "those who awaken fervent popular devotion and enthusiasm". This typically in-
had a strong personal magnetism or charm. Unfortunately, too many people actually
defined leadership as if it were synonymous with charisma! It is not.

Many military generals, business vagabonds, and athletic coaches have been widely
cited promoting a "winning is everything" or the "only thing" for achievement or resolution
of problems.

Recent news about political and business corruption highlights how certain people have abused
charisma and its power of persuasion to abuse others and thus achieve selfish personal gains.
It is true that when used effectively, charisma can be a powerful motivational tool.
vadora for those leaders who possess. This, however, does not prove an exclusive relationship between the lead-
inheritance and charisma.

As a society, our focus should be on those who live and lead with integrity.
The author Jim Collins comments in his book Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Don't.
The difference between a good leader and a bad one is "the inner landscape of the leader."

Study (And Follow) The Leaders

Collins spent five years studying the business leaders who participated in their companies.
from good to excellent, maintaining an extraordinary performance for at least 15 years. Its con-
The conclusion is that good leaders are "ambitious first and foremost for their cause, for the company, for the tra-
Work. Not for yourself. They are self-confident, not self-centered.

He discovered that these leaders were "simple, calm, reserved, even shy - a
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paradoxical mixture of humility, personality, and professional will. They are more like Lincoln and
Socrates than Patton or Caesar.

It is a common natural fault to expect leaders to display charisma or a close connection.

enter leadership with charisma. This failure has led many down a path of frustration and disillusionment
when a leader's personal charisma proved to be selfish and superficial.

Instead of charisma, our culture should focus on having leadership qualities such as
being reliable, truthful, honest, and with a spirit of service. These are the traits that reveal the 'parent-
the inner age of the leader" and provide long-term motivation for others to follow. How Con-
Fúcio said: "Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues."

Conclusion

Well, there it is. A little of this, at least. The truth of the matter is that the search for charisma, like
the pursuit of happiness is a lifetime of endeavor. There are hundreds of different theories
about charisma, thousands of different resources, and millions of people, maybe even billions of people,
they embarked on the path to radiate enthusiasm, self-confidence, and compassion for others.

Fortunately, the trip to Charisma is a journey where each step is facilitated by new re-
relationships of admiration, joy, success, power, and achievement.

Will you succeed in your goals regarding charisma? It depends. If your goal is to become-
become more and more charismatic every day. If you want to relate better and more fully with
other people, if you dream of being able to lead by inspiration, if you desire nothing more than
be open to the world around you and ready to receive all the gifts it offers, then I
I believe nothing can stop you.

If, on the other hand, your goal is to develop a 'killer' charisma that you can use to
manipulate others and make them bend to your will, to develop a "simple" "appearance" of
charisma, placing it in your external adornments, if that is what you are doing, then be prepared
because things can end up differently than expected.

Charisma and Character

Anything else it may be, charisma is genuine and is always a reflection of your character. If you
having charisma without character is just a matter of time before people find out. Without character
you cannot maintain meaningful relationships, and without relationships your ability to let go
and influencing others is anemic.

So, what about a strong, honest character that is so important for charisma? Consider
the following:

Hard Character

There was a time when people without integrity stood out from the crowd.
Now, the opposite is true. Charisma can make you stand out for a moment like a 'fire
"of straw" or "flavor of the week", but character will define it beyond one life.
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 Character is Reliable

Some people are truly suspicious of charisma. Having good character inspires confidence.
Play confidence with charisma and you become a force that others want to be around.

Character Inspires Character

If you lead people, good character sets a standard for all those who are following you.
People cannot imitate your charisma, but they can aspire to have a character similar to yours. If
leaders commit to their standards, deceive the company, or take shortcuts, thus they will go their
followers. No amount of charisma can make this situation right.

Character Strengthens

During the difficult times that all leaders face, character has the ability to take them
completely, which is something that charisma can never do. When you are tired and inclined to
abandon, self-discipline of character keeps you going.

Character Is for the Long Haul

Charisma, by its nature, does not extend very far. It usually produces a quick light.
obfuscating, and then she was gone. Character, on the other hand, is more like a bonfire. Its effects are
long duration. It produces heat and light, and as it continues to burn, it gets hotter, giving
fuel that burns brighter.

Character Makes Everything Easier

If you are currently leading people, you probably have some measure of how much
charisma and character. The question is, which one are you trusting to lead? The answer may be found
translate in your response to this great question:

As time goes by, is it easier or harder to lead?

Without character, charisma becomes harder to sustain. You always have to act to carry on.
the people observing him. But with character, over time his influence strengthens, builds, and
continues to attract people. The best part is that those who come to enjoy the fire stay with you for
much longer than those who just want to see a show.

Equation of Success: Charisma + Character = Everything

Bonus: Affirmations to Support Your Charismatic Journey

Our self-talk, the things we say to ourselves, is very important because it directly affects
Lies to our conscious and subconscious mind. We hear everything we say to ourselves.

A statement is a declaration you make to yourself. Everyone uses them intentionally.

Whether you think so or not. You wake up in the morning, jump out of bed and exclaim: 'I feel great.' This is an affirmation.
positive action. Crawling out of bed in the morning and whining: 'I feel rotten.' That is
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a negative statement. Both statements help to maintain the emotional state you are in.
against.

Thanks to our affirmations working so well to maintain the state of mind in which this is...
But we can use them to change this state of mind as well. True, it takes more work.
to change the way we think and feel, but if you follow these guidelines, the use of affirmations
can become a strong and useful tool to help us become happier and
healthy.

4 Basic Guidelines for Creating Affirmations

Declare Statements in the Present Tense

Start with phrases like "I am..." or "I have..." You want to be telling your mind the
what is happening now, at this moment.

Declare Affirmations That Are Already Fulfilled

"I am happy now" is superior and will work better than "I am becoming happy", or "I
I will be happy.

State Affirmations Positively

"I feel safe" works, but the statement "I am not afraid" does the opposite of what you
she focuses her mind on the word 'fear', and thus amplifies that feeling. For the mind, it is
as if the word "no" doesn't even exist.

Declare Affirmations in Your Language Style

Energy, enthusiasm, and sparkling health are my birthright. I accept these

treasures of invaluable worth with gratitude, knowing that the more energy I give, the more it flows
inside of me." This is a very poetic statement, but not many really talk to themselves.
that way. However, just because I don't speak, doesn't mean it isn't the right language for
you.

If I wanted to use this statement, I would turn it into my own words. 'I deserve
to have energy, enthusiasm and good health. I accept the gifts of life. The more energy I use, the more
I will have.
to take root in my mind. Adapt the statements in your own language.

Patience, Please!

One problem that many people have is impatience. They use their affirmations from the mouth to
out for a week or two and nothing happens, and so they give up. It takes us a long time to...
make what we are. Make your affirmations, at least, for thirty days seriously.

If what you are trying to change is a serious problem, you will probably need
more than 30 days. You may even need more than affirmations to bring about the changes that
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you search.

Affirmations are just one of many tools for change. Most of us will have more than
a tool, and more than a month to use them. Used correctly, the statements can help us
to change, grow and heal.

As you use your affirmations, you will become more aware of your thoughts.
thoughts and behaviors, and you will start to think and feel better about yourself. When
this happens, your behavior will start to change in the direction you are trying to go.

Some Samples of Statements

For Charisma: "I project an inner warmth and genuine friendliness. I am self-excited and independent.
tooth. I am becoming a charismatic person.

For a Positive Attitude: "I am self-sufficient, self-controlled, filled with independence"

and determination. I have great inner courage and project a positive self-image. I am confident-
before, optimistic and eager for new challenges and I will emerge a winner.

For Stress Elimination: "I am at ease. I am at peace with myself, with the world, and
with everyone around me. I am physically and emotionally relaxed and in complete balance and
harmony. The final relaxation is mine. I am relaxed. I am relaxed.

For Wealth and Success: "I have a desire to be rich and to become rich. My creative mind
open the door of the palace of abundance. I create whatever I imagine. I am persistent, determined
and ambitious.

For Weight Loss: "I am slim, fit, and I lead a healthy life. I only eat foods
healthy and nutritious in small portions and always true to my diet. I now weigh (your ideal weight
here) and I reached it without any side effects.

For Health and Healing: "Day by day in every way I am getting healthier and healthier.
healthy. My immune system works at maximum efficiency and keeps me in good health. I
I choose perfect health and use the unlimited power of my mind to heal myself.

To Accelerate Learning: "I have the ability to focus energy and speed up learning
I am developing a photographic memory and remember everything I learn, I remain
alert and focused and I can immediately compare data.

For Self-Discipline: "I have the self-discipline to achieve personal and professional goals."
I direct my time and energy to manifest my desires and increase my self-discipline. I
I am taking control of my life and I am committed to my goals.

For Self-Esteem: "I am self-confident. I believe in my abilities and enjoy high

self-esteem. My positive self-image generates success and happiness. I am proud of myself.
and I do the things that make me proud.

To Achieve Goals: "I have the power to do more things in less time. I am au-
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increasing my speed and productivity. My time is valuable and I use it wisely to achieve
my goals.

For Self-Confidence: 'I am confident, self-assured, full of determination and independence.

I have great courage and project a very positive self-image. Every day I am working on myself.
becoming more self-confident.

To Increase Creativity: "Day by day I am becoming more creative. I extract in-

creative inspiration from the universe and I unleash unlimited power in my creativity, that's why I am a creation-
tivo.

For a Powerful Personality: "Day after day in every way I am becoming more
consciente da minha força. Eu sou capaz de liberar o meu potencial para dirigir e conduzir os outros.
I have the power and ability to achieve my goals. I am a powerful negotiator and I can
what I want. I am strong and dynamic, as required in the situations.

For Inner Peace: "I am at peace with myself and with the world and with everyone in it. I accept
as coisas que não posso mudar na vida. Minha mente é como água calma e isso é tudo que eu preciso.
I now feel calm, balanced, and harmonious and I experience tranquility, love, and joy.

For Satisfaction and Happiness: "I create my own space for happiness and satisfaction in my
life. I accept what I cannot change and change what I can. I have the power and skill to create
any reality in which I wish to live. I am happy and satisfied.

To Forgive and Forget: "I forgive and release my anger and expectations. I allow the neg-
Activity flows through me without affecting me. Every two I find it easier to forgive and let go.
my expectations of others. I am freeing myself.

For Creative Visualization: "I am visualizing what I want. I see it in my mind.

and I configure to manifest. I can visualize my dreams in reality. I maintain a im-
clear image in my mind and I combine it with emotional desire.

To Release Guilt: "I am at peace with myself and with my past. I have forgiven myself."
I learned from the past to create a positive future. Every day I am at peace with myself.
I am feeling better and better about everything.

To Combat Worry and Fear: "I am confident and secure. I am calm and optimistic. I
I feel powerful and in total control of myself. I am peaceful, balanced, and harmonious. My
My mind is calm and thinks positive thoughts. I am in control of my life.

To Bring Miracles Into My Life: "This week I will manifest a miracle in my

life. I am open to any miracle, big or small, that will change my life in some way
positive. I receive what I desire. I live in abundance.

To End Alcohol Dependency: "I stopped drinking. I have the inner strength to
I distanced myself from alcohol. I stopped drinking to improve my relationships and thinking.

To Improve Sexual Performance (Men): "My body performs well during

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sex without having to think about it. A firm erection is my natural response to sexual stimulation.
During sex, I maintain a firm erection and delay ejaculation until I'm ready. I am sexual-
I have a vital mind and make love to my partner for a long time until full satisfaction.

To Improve Sexual Performance (Women): "My sexual desires are intense. I facilitate-
I experience intense orgasms during sex. I enjoy sex and respond openly and happily.
I lie to my partner. My orgasms are intense and come easily.

For Relationships: "My relationship with people is getting better and better. I
comunico abertamente e me compartilho. Eu me comunico diretamente e honestamente. Eu aceito os
others like them are without exceptions. I experience good relationships, excitement, and joy with the
people around me.

To Improve Concentration: "Total concentration is mine. I have the power to focus my

concentration at will. I remain alert and focused. I easily block unrelated thoughts.
I'm focused on what I'm working on. My goal of super concentration is easily achieved.

Of course, you will want to create your own laser-focused affirmations so that you and your
minds can come together for success in the important things that matter most to you.

Bonus: Thirteen Tips to Remember

Charisma, the intangible quality that makes people admire you, follow you, and work for you
simply to be close to you.

When you need a quick update to recharge your charisma batteries, ape-
refers to the following list. It is a dozen tips to keep you charismatic at all times.

Build self-esteem and self-confidence: Take an inventory. What do you want to improve or change?
about the way you interact with others? Try to make just one change at a time.

Celebrate your journey, not your destination: Learn to always feel good about where you are
Now, exude self-confidence wherever you may find yourself tomorrow.

Defina metas antes de cada interação:Saiba o que você deseja. Pense em como as pessoas que
you are getting to know can help you achieve these goals. Then, decide how to approach each one
agreeable person.

Be proactive: Take the initiative. Be decisive. Let the other person know exactly how they
or she can help you.

Treat every person as truly important: (You will be surprised how this works.)

Firm handshake; look straight into the eyes: Practice both. Train yourself to notice something that
Do you like or find attractive in the person.

Listen! Listen! Listen!: Teach yourself to develop good listening skills. Learn a way
to remember the names of other people.
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 Respond visibly to another person: Smile, nod in agreement, and address
by the name.

Pay more attention to others than to yourself: You are responding to what you might be
What is happening in their lives? Do not filter out bad news. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Be supportive.

Stay in the moment: Do not cut the other person off mentally. Do not recharge while
he or she is talking.

Do not interrupt: Allow people to express themselves, and do not anticipate what you think they
they will say.

Use sincere compliments: People respond to flattery. If you don't feel it, don't say it.

Some reaffirm frequently: Make sure to understand what has just been said. This
allows the other person to correct wrong assumptions immediately, and allows him or her that you are
processing new information and are on top of the situation.

Charisma is a combination of how you genuinely feel about yourself and the impression
what people have of you and your ego. So please, don't exaggerate. Make sure you are
walking on the thin line that separates charismatic self-confidence from anti-charismatic arrogance.

Bonus: Killer Charismatic Affirmations

As you have already learned, when it comes to charisma, you are what you say. The words and phrases
what you choose to express will send one of the two messages to the people who are talking
for you:

I understand you and have empathy for your feelings

you
I don't understand and I don't have empathy for your feelings.

Unbeknownst to this, verbal violence of this kind can be one of the pillars of your self-expression.
Outbursts, insults, and inappropriate high-astral truisms tell people that you are talking about this.
because it is self-absorbed and insensitive, hardly the characteristics of the charismatic person you want
to be.

When someone tells you that they are stuck, tired, broke, or depressed, they are
coming to you in search of comfort first and foremost. Instead of giving one of those elevated speeches
"chin up" or overload them with solutions to what you perceive as problems, the first
the thing you should do is 'give the people what they want', which is comfort. After that, you can
entrar em resolução de problemas se isso seria útil.

The following phrases should be banned from your vocabulary, as well as from your self-talk.
You don't need all that negativity running through your head.

You are what you think.

"Anime yourself!"
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Get animated!
You are always feeling sorry for yourself.
Why can't you just be normal?
Things aren't that bad, are they?
Are you praying and reading the Bible?
What is your problem?
Why don't you just grow up?
You need a girlfriend(boyfriend).
You need a hobby.
Just put yourself close.
Depression is a symptom of my sin against God.
What are you worried about? You will be fine.
Just don't think about it. It will go away.
You do not have the ability to do it.
Wait a few weeks, it will be soon.
Go out and have fun!
You are making me depressed too.
The world out there isn't so bad after all.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
There are many people in worse situations than yours.
You have everything good. Why aren't you happy?
You have so many things to be grateful for. Why are you depressed?
What do you have to be depressed about?
Are you going to stop constantly complaining?
What makes you think that someone cares?
Aren't you tired of all this me-me-me stuff?
You just need to give yourself a kick in the rear.
It's all in your mind.
You brought this upon yourself.
Get your butt up and do something.
Just do it!
Why should I care?
Get out of this, okay?
You want to feel this way.
You have no reason to feel this way.
It's your fault.
What does not kill us makes us stronger.
"You are always worried about your problems."
Your problems are not that big.
I thought you were stronger than that.
No one ever said that life was fair.
When you get stronger, you won't have to dive in so much.
Stand up by your own effort.
Well, everyone gets depressed sometimes!
Get a job!
Smile and the world smiles with you. Cry and you will cry alone.
"You don't seem depressed!"
You will never think of anyone other than yourself.
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 You are just looking for attention.
Do you have TMP?
Everyone has a bad day now and then.
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
Why don't you smile anymore?
Happiness is a choice.
Do you think you have problems.
Well, at least it's not that bad.
Maybe you should take vitamins for your stress.
Relax!
You must get rid of all those pills.
You need to go out more.

Aphorisms of Dantalion Jones

I am not worried about controlling all the variables of life. I just want to control the con-
stands.

Should you trust me? Beats the hell out of me!

There are two types of people. You and I are of the other type.

There are so many things in this world not to care about. I decided not to care about all of them.

The only thing that truly surprises me is when someone is genuinely kind.

Some people have luggage. Some people have cargo.

If you are as sick as your secrets, then make sure to have secrets REALLY
healthy.

"Para cada evento que acontece uma pessoa calma e racional tem cerca de 100 escolhas possíveis de como
to respond, perhaps even a thousand of them. An emotional person has almost no chance at all.

There is a simple secret to happiness: find those things you are doing that do not work.
"so stop making them!!!"

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