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Step 1: Three part Narrative: The model

IN THIS SECTION:
 Read an example
 Explore its features and usage

For this composition you will copy a story by the Australian writer, Peter Cowan (1914-
2002). Cowan served in the Australian Air Force and worked as a farm labourer, teacher
and university lecturer, in addition to being a writer. His stories have been collected in a
number of volumes, including The Unploughed Land (1958) and Voices (1988). Peter
Cowan won the Patrick White Prize for literature in 1992.

Before reading

On the next page is Peter Cowan's short story, School. Cowan's stories often emphasise
landscapes and rural settings. The setting is Western Australia's wheat farming region in
the 1950s. This brief story concerns a boy at school who daydreams of being at home on
the farm with his family.

Read the story carefully, noting the information presented about character and setting. It
will be the model for your writing.

Words to know:
bulk bin - a large silo for storing the wheat from many farms
jarrah - a type of gum tree native to Western Australia
paddock - a field or enclosure on a farm
stook - a tied bundle of straw or hay

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School
The classroom was hot, and outside the sun was hard on the dusty earth and the grass
was going brown on the playing fields. The boy looked at his exercise book, at the
figures and the red-pencil corrections, and they were nothing, related to nothing in his
experience. He raised his eyes very slowly and saw the hard light and the bare ground
and the dying grass. Over the fence the two old jarrahs with the spread tops framed
the piled houses of the suburbs. He had his hands to his head and he looked out of the
low window and then back at the figures on the paper, and slowly the tears began to
force their way on him. He made no sound and the others working did not know.
Now out beyond him were the wide flat acres of wheat, heavy in ear, and the cut
patches bare to earth dotted with the stooks. The wagon moved slowly out, and when
they reached the stooks his father began to pitch hay. The sheaves thumped on the
wagon. He helped Ted, who worked for them, to build the load. As the wagon started
for the next stook he felt the jolt and looked at the load to see if it would hold. High up
he sat when it was built and they drove in to the stack. He got on the stack and Ted
threw the sheaves to him and he passed to his father. The sun was hard on the
paddocks and the dull scrub and the few trees. It made the wagon hot and the hay
held the heat, and his clothes were hot. It was hard to say when the shadows first
started to come on the ground, but they began to shift out from the stooks and from
the stack and about the few shade-trees. When they were tired with the mid-
afternoon he saw his mother coming out with the tea. They sat in the shade of the
wagon and he listened to the talk and he knew the people and the wheat and the town
and the bulk bin and when he said something they listened and answered. The colours
began to change slowly, to deepen, and shift from the smooth acres of the wheat and
the fallow and old stubble, and from the dulling scrub that was making a dark edge
about the paddock. The sun went from the hot ground and they left the wagon outside
the stack and took the horses out. Ted led them to the yard, while he put out the
feeds. In the quiet darkening stables, after Ted and his father had gone, he watched
the heads in the boxes and listened to the noises the horses made, together, feeding.
When the stables and the shed with the bags of stored wheat became dark he pushed
open the iron door and went across the yard. There was the light in the house and they
sat at the meal and there was talk and if he wanted to say something they listened.
He could feel the tears and he was afraid to move lest the others see. He looked at the
symbols on the paper and they blurred and made no pattern. His hands sheltered his
face, and he looked slowly up and to one side and he saw the blackboard and the desks
and shelves and the maps that were pinned to the walls.
Peter Cowan

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After reading

Like many of Cowan's stories, "School" gives a vivid portrait of the land. It stresses the harsh light
and the dry heat of the wheat belt. Readers are given very little information about the character,
however. We have to guess the boy's state of mind from details given about his surroundings, and
his reaction to them. Alienated and alone at school, he feels a greater sense of purpose and
belonging with his family on the farm.
An interesting feature of the story is the detached style of the narrative. Details are given in a rather
dry, matter-of-fact style, and there is very little direct emotion conveyed by the writing. Despite this,
the portrait of the boy seems sympathetic. Cowan achieves a lot in his story despite its simplicity.

Activity 1
1. The story has two settings: the schoolroom and the wheat farm. Which setting is given
the more lengthy treatment? Can you suggest why?
2. How would you describe the three-part structure of the story? (Tick your choices.)

a. introduction - body - conclusion? 

b. beginning - middle - end? 
c . reality - daydream - reality? 
d . interior - exterior - interior? 
e. starting point - journey -, return? 
f. inactivity - activity - inactivity? 

Which description best explains how the story achieves its effect?

3. Find examples of the following in the story, and underline them if possible.

a. descriptions of what people do

b. descriptions of where people are
c. descriptions of how people feel
d. explanations of events and feelings

What do your findings show about the kind of information included in the story?

4. The language and style of the story is very distinctive. What features, if any, stand out to
you?
(Hint look for repeated words, and ways of joining sentences and phrases.)

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What's the use?

Short stories can take many forms. Some feature strong characters, action and drama.
Others, like "School", treat the characters merely as elements within a scene. Such stories
often lack a strong sense of obvious emotion - though there may still be conflict and
drama. You should use this storytelling technique when you want to create sympathy for
a character based on a situation or predicament, not based on what the character says or
does.
Cowan's simple three-part structure allows his story to be kept very short. Since there is
no plot to develop, the whole effect of the story can be created through the contrast
between two brief descriptions of setting. At less than 600 words, such a story can stand
on its own or be used as part of a larger work, such as a novel, biography, or even a
character profile.

Activity 2
1. School creates sympathy for a character through a simple contrast in settings. The
same technique could be used in a variety of writing tasks. Discuss the following
uses and choose the two that you think would be most effective.
a. As an introduction to a feature article on how life is changing in rural towns.

Character.: A farmer
Settings: The farm, now and in the past 
b. As part of a biography, to give an insight into a character's past.

Character: A famous person

Settings: Contrasting settings from his/her youth 
c. As part of an awareness campaign about the plight of children with incurable diseases.

Character- A sick child

Settings: The hospital ward, and normal life at home 
d. As part of your own autobiography, to reveal an aspect of your personality.

Character: You
Settings: Your favourite and least favourite places 

2. What other uses can you suggest for this storytelling technique?

Now that you have read the story and considered its purpose and effects, you have
a model for your writing. Your goal will be to write a short story that imitates the
structure and style of Peter Cowan's School.

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Step 2: ideas and design

IN THIS SECTION:
 Learn to organise your ideas
 Learn to make a plan
 Write a first draft

Before you can learn to write a story like School, you need to study how it is constructed.
We will start our analysis by looking at the ideas and design of the story.

Ideas: character and setting

Peter Cowan's story is built from two simple ideas. It deals with a character and a
situation. A boy is stuck in a classroom, where he feels lost and out of place. Staring out
of the classroom window, he daydreams about where he would rather be.

Character
The character in the story is never named or described in any detail. We learn a few
things about him: he doesn't like his schoolwork; he has worked on a farm with his family
and a man named Ted; he likes doing the farm chores and being with his family. But the
writer does not tell us his age, his name, whether he has brothers and sisters, what
school he attends, why he dislikes school, and so on. Despite the few particulars given in
the text, he is basically a character type rather than an individual: a "country boy" who
feels out of place in school.

To construct the character, Peter Cowan presents readers with two kinds of information.
1. Reported actions: The story contains reports of things that the boy does: He looks
at his book. He begins to cry. He covers his eyes. He helps Ted pile the sheaves. He feeds
the horses. These actions are all reported as if observed by someone watching the scene
- that is, by a third-person narrator.

2. Commentary on the situation: The story contains a few, rare comments that hint at
the boy's feelings. We are told the "red-pencil corrections" are "related to nothing in his
experience". Apart from these rare comments on the situation, the story contains hardly
any direct statements about the boy's thoughts or feelings. The story does not say "he
felt sad" or "he felt contented": the reader is left to draw those conclusions.

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Activity 3
1. Go back to the story on page 2 and check for yourself what kind of character
information is given. Look for and underline other examples of reported action
and commentary.
Can you find any other kind of character information? Are you surprised at how
little information is given to the reader?

2. Imagine writing an extension to the story. Here are some additional details that you
could include.
Tick those that match the style of characterisation used in the story.
a . He had always hated school. 
b . The tears dripped onto the paper and smudged the figures. 
c . He desperately hoped his friend Richard could not see him crying. 
d . He smelled the hay and the dust and the leather in the stable. 
e . He had never felt so alone. 
f . He felt the sun on his face and the dryness in the air. 

3. Which of these character sketches would be most suitable for another story like
School?
a. A teenage girl at home in her bedroom who wishes she could be out with
friends.
b. A 22-year-old uni student named Josh, who loves hip-hop and dreams of
being a DJ.
c. Jessica, a young mother with two children named Jake and Andy, who,
after surviving a car crash, develops psychic powers that enable her to
solve crimes.
d. A prisoner in solitary confinement who dreams of being home with his wife.

Setting
Unlike the character, the setting is described in realistic detail. The place is not named,
but the story includes many details about the physical environment: the classroom, the
school playing fields, the suburbs, the trees and grass, the wheat fields, and so on.
There are two contrasting settings: the classroom and the farm. These are - described in
different ways, so as to create a contrast between them.
1. The description of the classroom contains very little action or interaction. Except
for the boy, no other people are mentioned in any detail, and nothing much
happens. The setting seems to be suspended in time.
2. The description of the farm, includes people and events, actions and interactions.
Time passes and things happen. The setting is extended in time.

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We can summarise the settings in "School" in this way:

Setting A: The classroom Setting B: The farm

1. Place: 1. Place:
Described in terms of physical Described in terms of physical
properties only. properties and human relations.
2. Time: 2. Time:
Suspended in time (contains very Extended in time (actions and
little action or interaction), events take place).
3. Character: 3. Character:
Character is alone. Character interacts with others.

Activity 4
1. Go back to the short story on page 51 and check for yourself how the contrast between
settings Is created. Find and underline examples of:
a. objects described in each setting
b. human interaction
c. non-human action (things that indicate time passing)

2. Below are some terms that could be used to describe the two settings in the story. Sort them
into two lists: Setting A (the classroom) and Setting B (the farm).
alien, purposeful, familiar, pointless, artificial, human, city, physical, theoretical, country
What contrasts or oppositions are revealed in the two lists? What do they suggest about the
story's theme and values?

3. To create a story like School you will need to create two contrasting settings. For example:
Setting A Setting B
Family home Dance club
Prison cell Family home
Dentist's room School playground
Add three more contrasting pairs to the list.

Now that you have read a short story and explored some of its features, you are ready to
learn the writing skills you will need to write your own.

Design: the flashback or reverie

The design of "School" highlights the contrast between the settings in two ways. First, it
switches back and forth between the two settings, starting with the schoolroom, then
describing the farm, and then finally returning to the schoolroom. Second, it gives a much
longer description of the farm setting than the schoolroom. Thus arrangement and length are
used to distinguish the two settings.

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It is important to note that the story's three-part structure is not a sequence. These are not
three events that follow on from one another, like the plot of a narrative. Instead, the
description of the farm is a daydream that interrupts the description of the classroom. The
whole story takes place while the boy is in the classroom, and the middle section occurs inside
his head.
This kind of daydream vision, where a character conjures up another place from memory or
imagination, is called a reverie. Sometimes a reverie is introduced explicitly, through a direct
statement such as, "His thoughts returned to the farm and his family." In "School", however,
the reverie is merely implied by the use of a paragraph break and a change of setting: "Now
out beyond him were the wide flat acres of wheat."
The second transition is even more subtle. There is no announcement of any kind; we simply
find the character back in the schoolroom, as his thoughts return to the present. The use of
subtle transitions like this is a technique you should practise in your own writing.

The design of the story can be diagrammed like this.

Setting A: The classroom (negative feelings)

Physical properties only - Suspended in time - Character is alone

Physical details of the classroom. Negative element (corrections on his schoolwork).
Evidence of the boy's distress (tears). A trigger for the daydream (the window).

Setting B: The farm, a reverie (positive feelings)

Physical properties and human relations - Extended in time - Character with others
Physical details of the farm. Positive elements (familiar places, people, events).
Evidence of the boy's happiness (being listened to, work he seems to understand, enjoy).

Setting A continued: The classroom (negative feelings)

Physical properties only - Suspended in time - Character is alone

Description of the classroom continued. Additional physical details contrasting with the reverie
(e.g. maps on the walls, instead of real places).

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Building a scenario
We have seen that Peter Cowan's story consists of a character observed in two contrasting
settings, one a harsh and unpleasant reality, and the other a more welcoming situation,
recalled in a detailed reverie.
This simple design can be adapted to a wide range of characters and settings. Here are four
scenarios ("scene summaries") that combine a character and a pair of contrasting settings.

Character: A young girl in a dentist's chair Character: A prisoner in a gaol cell

Setting A: The dentist's room Setting B: The Setting A: The cell
school playground at lunchtime Setting B: The prisoner's home and
family

Character: An astronaut Character: A soldier

Setting A: The space station Setting A: A trench on the front line Setting B:
Setting B: Her favourite park on earth His favourite pub and friends

Activity 5
1. Create three more scenarios that combine a character and two contrasting settings.
(Here are some suggestions for character choices: a grandmother, a policeman, a young
child, a street-sweeper, a lawyer, a teenager.)

2. Share your ideas with other members of your class or group. Build a combined
collection of story ideas. You should be able to develop 15 to 20 scenarios.

Adding detail
Your settings will seem more realistic if you can provide the reader with specific details. Peter
Cowan's story is filled with observations about objects, events and people. Many of these are
small, mundane details. For example:
brown grass on the playing fields
heat in the air and in the hay and in the boy's clothes
shadows lengthening as the evening comes
Ted passing sheaves to the boy, and him passing to his father
The focus on these ordinary, everyday aspects of setting matches the story's understated,
detached style.

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Activity 6
1. Consider this story scenario:

Character.• A young girl in a dentist's chair

-
Setting A. The dentist's room
-
Setting B. The school playground at lunchtime

Here are some items that could be included in a description of Setting A. Which would you include?
a. white walls, and white ceiling, and white basin 
b. the drills and the mirrors and the shining steel tools
c. the sunlight on the garden outside the window 
d. the cold chair and the cold instruments 
e. the smiling dentist with his perfect teeth 
f. the soothing music piped through hidden speakers 
g. the bench and the x-rays and the appointment book 

2. Invent three more details to add to the setting.

3. Now consider Setting B. Below are five details describing the school
playground at lunchtime. The details are in an order that tells a mini-story of the
typical lunchtime. Add four more items.
a. The lunch bell was ringing.
b. Children ran shouting and laughing out of classrooms.
c. The noise echoed along the corridors.
d. Her friends Xander and Mia called to her, arm in arm.
e. She pulled her lunchbox from the steel locker.
f.
g-
h.

Planning your own story

Now that you have studied the ideas and design of Peter Cowan's story, you can
begin to plan your own. For your first attempt, you will use the scenario of the girl
in the dentist's room.

Activity 7
Use the "Plan for a realistic story" on the next page to plan the draft of your story.
You can use your ideas from Activity 6 above.

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