Revising and Editing

Name Date

Guided Revising
Read the following story. Then read each question and mark the correct answer.

Deshawna wrote this story about an outdoor experience. She would like you to read her story
and think about the i­mprovements she should make. When you finish reading, answer the
­questions that follow.

Fishing for Monsters

(1) It wasn’t going to be the kind of day anyone would want to be outside. (2) It was
already muggy. (3) It was a little bit breezy. (4) It was getting hot. (5) Still, right after she
crawled out of bed, Kim called Nichelle, hoping she’d thought of something “outdoorsy”
to do. (6) They talked a while, and Nichelle said she wanted to try fishing at Muddy
Branch Pond. (7) Kim hung up. (8) She got her brother’s fishing gear and met Nichelle
outside. (9) The weather was muggy, breezy, and hot. (10) Even though the fish usually
didn’t bite on warm, windy days, they rode their bikes to the edge of the woods and
then walked them down through the trees to the pond.
(11) The pond was green. (12) Nichelle knew more about what she was doing than
Kim did. (13) Kim didn’t catch anything at all. (14) Nichelle caught a couple of “keepers”;
she tossed them back.
(15) Kim, after she started to get bored, saw something peeking up from behind a
couple of tree stumps in the water. (16) It looked huge. (17) It looked bumpy. (18) It looked
sort of grey.
(19) “See that?”
(20) “No.”
(21) She pointed at the thing. (22) “There,” she said. (23) “The big alligator thing
with its back sticking out of the water. (24) Maybe it’s the Loch Ness monster of Muddy
Branch Pond.”
(25) Kim realized that it was a tent floating in the pond. (26) She stood up.
(27) Nichelle shouted for her not to get in the water, but Kim got in and swam toward the
thing. (28) Kim stood up a few minutes later, holding an old tent in one hand.

GO ON
Guided Revising 128
© Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company
Name Date

1 Deshawna is evaluating the use of muggy, 2 What is the most effective way for
breezy, and hot in her description of the Deshawna to revise sentence 14 so that its
weather in the first paragraph (sentences idea is clear?
1–10). What is the most effective way for
her to improve her paragraph? F Nichelle used her fishing pole to catch a
couple of “keepers”; she tossed them
A Delete sentence 9 back.
B Delete sentence 10 G Nichelle caught a couple of “keepers,”
C Combine sentences 2–4 fish that were big enough for her to keep
D Change warm and windy to hot and legally, but she tossed them back.
breezy in sentence 10 H All Nichelle caught that whole hot and
humid morning were a couple of
EXPLANATION: Sentence 9 repeats ideas in “keepers” that she tossed back.
sentences 2, 3, and 4, so it should be deleted.
J All Nichelle did was fish and complain
A is correct.
• B is incorrect because sentence 10 contains
about the heat, but she caught a couple
important information that should not be of “keepers” that she tossed back.
deleted.
EXPLANATION: Many readers will find
• C is incorrect. Combining sentences 2–4
sentence 14 confusing because they need
would create a sentence that is too similar
help understanding keepers. G is correct.
to sentence 9.
• F, H, and J are all incorrect because they
• D is incorrect because changing warm
don’t make the idea of sentence 14 clearer.
and windy to hot and breezy would reduce
variety in word choice. TEKS 13C
TEKS 13C

3 Deshawna thinks that sentences 16, 17, and

18 sound choppy. What is the most effective
way for her to rewrite them?

A It looked huge, bumpy, and sort of grey.

B Because it looked huge and bumpy, it
looked sort of grey.
C Although it looked huge and bumpy, it
also looked sort of grey.
D It looked huge; it looked bumpy; it looked
sort of grey.

EXPLANATION: To eliminate the choppiness,

Deshawna can use commas and a
coordinating conjunction to combine the
sentences. A is correct.
• B and C are incorrect because they don’t
make sense.
• D is incorrect because the new sentence
still sounds choppy.
TEKS 13C

GO ON
Guided Revising 129
© Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company
Name Date

4 Deshawna’s audience may be confused by 6 Deshawna wants to use figurative language

the dialogue in sentences 19–24. What to describe Kim and the tent. What is the
change, if any, should she make? most effective way for her to rewrite
sentence 28?
F Identify the speakers
G Delete sentences 20–23 F Kim stood up a few minutes later,
H Move sentence 20 to the paragraph holding an old tent in one hand and
below wearing a big grin.
J Make no change G Kim stood up a few minutes later,
holding an old tent in one hand, and
EXPLANATION: Deshawna can use a Nichelle started laughing.
dialogue tag, such as “Kim said,” to tell who is H Kim stood up a few minutes later,
speaking. F is correct.
holding an old tent in one hand, letting it
• G and H are incorrect because neither
dangle there like a prize-winning fish.
change will help identify who is speaking.
• J is incorrect because it is unclear who is J Kim stood up a few minutes later,
speaking; revision is necessary. holding an old tent in a really funny way.
TEKS 13C EXPLANATION: Figurative language is used
to make comparisons that are not literally true.
H is correct because it compares the tent to
a fish.
5 What is the most effective way for • F, G, and J are incorrect because they
Deshawna to improve the level of do not use figurative language in their
suspense in the seventh paragraph descriptions.
(sentences 25–28)?
TEKS 13C
A Move sentence 27 so that it appears
after sentence 28
B Use more descriptive details in sentence
28 to show how dirty the pond is
C Add a scene in which Kim and Nichelle
argue about whether to get into the
water
D Replace sentence 25 with a scary
description of the strange object in
the pond

EXPLANATION: Sentence 25 tells readers

that the object is a tent and that Kim knows it.
Including a scary description would increase
the level of suspense, so D is correct.
• A is incorrect because this change would
place events out of sequence.
• B and C are incorrect because the changes
would increase tension and conflict, not the
level of suspense.
TEKS 13C

STOP
Guided Revising 130
© Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company
Name Date

Revising Practice 1
Read the following story. Then read each question and mark the correct answer.

Matthew wrote this story about a time that information proved helpful to someone. He would
like you to read his story and think about the improvements he should make. When you finish
­reading, answer the questions that follow.

A Thanksgiving Scare
(1) Last summer, Robert decided to sign up for a course at his local teen center.
(2) A few people said he should take first aid, so Robert signed up for the class.
(3) It lasted four weeks, and Robert learned a lot. (4) They covered the basics,
including what injuries needed a doctor’s examination and when to call for help.
(5) After the class ended, Robert did not spend much time thinking about what he
had learned. (6) Then, on Thanksgiving, he had to put his knowledge into practice.
(7) When his uncle started to carve the turkey, the knife slipped! (8) He wound up with a
deep cut in his hand, and it bled a lot. (9) Luckily, everything was going to be all right!
(10) “Well, that one’s going to smart, isn’t it?” his uncle asked.
(11) “It probably will,” Robert answered. (12) “Cold water’ll help.” (13) Robert’s
uncle immediately put his hand in the sink, but the blood kept coming.
(14) Robert scrubbed his hands, found some bandages, and pressed them over
the cut. (15) “Hey, that hurts,” his uncle said.
(16) “If we don’t add pressure, it’s going to keep bleeding.”
(17) “Okay,” his uncle said. (18) “Just hurry up, okay?”
(19) Robert taped a bandage in place. (20) They called the hospital and were told
that Robert’s uncle should see a doctor. (21) They drove to the hospital and waited a
while in the Emergency Room. (22) A doctor checked the cut. (23) “Nice job,” he said.
(24) “Go home.”
(25) Robert learned how important it is to stay calm, administer first aid, and call for
help in an emergency. (26) Robert wound up feeling very happy that he’d taken the
course.

GO ON
Revising Practice 131
© Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company
Name Date

1 Matthew wants sentence 1 to show that 4 Which of the following sentences uses
Robert doesn’t want to take a summer figurative language to create a more vivid
course. What is the most effective description of the cut in sentence 13?
replacement for decided to sign up for?
F Blood ran down his arm and started to
A longed to take splash in the sink.
B was asked to register for G Although the sink’s water was cold, his
C considered taking arm wouldn’t stop bleeding.
D dreaded the thought of sitting through H As if a pipeline had burst in his arm,
blood just kept pouring into the sink.
J The bright red liquid mixed with water
2 In the second paragraph (sentences 5–9), from the sink, looking pink as it ran into
what is the most effective way to increase the drain.
the story’s level of suspense?

F Move sentence 6 so that it follows 5 Sentence 21 begins, “They drove to the

sentence 8 hospital . . .” Matthew would like to use a
G Replace sentence 9 with a detailed more vivid verb to describe their trip. Which
description of the cut and of the danger of the following is the most effective
H Build in descriptive details that tell the replacement for drove?
reader more about Robert’s uncle
A raced
J Insert a flashback to Robert’s class on
the day that he learns how to treat B went
dangerous cuts C headed
D traveled

3 In sentence 10, Matthew wants readers to

recognize that Robert’s uncle is acting brave 6 Matthew’s audience might not understand
but is frightened. What is the most effective what the doctor means when he says “Nice
replacement for his uncle asked? job” in sentence 23. Which of the following
sentences would be most effective following
A his uncle sobbed, his voice shaking sentence 23?
B his uncle shrugged, his voice trembling
C his uncle glared, his voice quiet and F “The cut’s not too bad,” he said.
calming G He smiled at them and nodded.
D his uncle grinned, his voice loud and H “You two treated the cut exactly as you
comforting should have.”
J The doctor meant that they had done
the right thing.

STOP
Revising Practice 132
© Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company
Name Date

Revising Practice 2

Read the following story. Then read each question and mark the correct answer.

Sacha wrote this story about an experiment in the future. She would like you to read her story
and look for the improvements she should make. When you finish reading, answer the questions
that follow.

Food in the Future

(1) Everyone looked toward the door as the robot instructor rolled into the
classroom. (2) The robot told us to turn on our laptops to access today’s science
lesson. (3) I read the material on the screen. (4) I pulled a lever beside my desk.
(5) A table rose from the floor. (6) The robot pushed a button at his desk, and
small rolling cabinets started to appear at each of our desks. (7) The carts had the
equipment we needed for today’s experiment. (8) Our experiment was studying
how people on Earth used to grow vegetables.
(9) A screen lowered from the ceiling. (10) Images appeared on the screen.
(11) The instructor explained that farmers grew vegetables in the ground. (12) We all
laughed. (13) He had to be joking! (14) The instructor continued his speech.
(15) People had really planted seeds in the ground, watered the seeds, and waited
for the plants to grow. (16) It sounded crazy. (17) Today our food is grown in labs and is
available immediately.
(18) Our assignment, Screen 3 explained, is to attempt to grow food like people of
the past. (19) I touched a button on my screen, and my lab assistant robot appeared.
(20) First I read the instructions for the experiment and began to fill a cup with dirt.
(21) Then I took a bean seed from the assistant and put it in a hole in the dirt.
(22) I covered the hole and requested water. (23) The assistant gave me a container of
water, and I poured a small stream onto the seed. (24) Finally, I placed the cup under
a sun lamp. (25) My family uses a sun lamp to warm our house in the winter. (26) The
bean plant began to grow. (27) I was growing food like people in the ancient past!

GO ON
Revising Practice 133
© Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company
Name Date

1 Sacha wants to use figurative language to 4 Sacha wants to convey the narrator’s
introduce the setting. What is the most feelings about the first step of the
effective way for her to rewrite sentence 1? experiment. Which of the following
sentences would be most effective following
A Everyone looked toward the door as the sentence 20?
futuristic instructor bolted into the
classroom. F I could not believe I was touching real
B Everyone looked toward the door as the dirt.
shiny metal instructor teetered into the G The dirt was a dark, grainy substance.
classroom. H I knew what dirt was but had never seen
C The enthusiastic students looked up it before.
eagerly as the robot instructor rolled into J Some of the dirt spilled on my desk, and
the classroom. I brushed it off.
D The students gazed up like obedient
pets as the robot instructor rolled into
the classroom. 5 What transition word or phrase could Sacha
add to the beginning of sentence 22 to help
the reader follow the narrator’s actions?
2 What is the most effective way to combine
sentences 12 and 13 and make the meaning A Next
more clear? B Therefore
C Finally
F We all laughed and we realized he had
D In addition to
to be joking.
G We all laughed, we knew he was joking.
H We all laughed because we thought he 6 Which sentence should be deleted because
had to be joking. it does not relate to the story line?
J We laughed, of course he was joking.
F Sentence 24
G Sentence 25
3 What sentence should be added after H Sentence 26
sentence 17 to support sentence 16 and J Sentence 27
add to readers’ understanding of the
futuristic setting?

A My least favorite food is broccoli.

B No one touches dirt or steps outside to
grow our food.
C Most labs are located inside large
factories outside the main city.
D Restaurants purchase their vegetables
from labs.

STOP
Revising Practice 134
© Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company
Name Date

Guided Editing
Read the following essay. Then read each question and mark the correct answer.

Carlos wrote this expository essay about changes in how we read books. He would like you
to read his essay and think about the corrections he should make. When you finish reading,
answer the questions that follow.

Books: No Longer the Same Old Thing

(1) When an author publishes a novel, how will you read it? (2) You may run to a
bookstore and buy them or order it online. (3) You may decide, however, to download
the book in digital format. (4) Like printed books, digital books can be bought online.
(5) The two types of books share certain characteristics, but they also differ, and digital
books are becoming more and more popular!
(6) Although the content in print and digital books may be the same, there are
differences among the two. (7) The first difference is access. (8) Printed books are
borrowed from libraries or bought at bookstores by people. (9) Millions of printed
books can be ordered online. (10) Although a couple of million titles are available
for download, more are in print. (11) While a couple of million sounds like a lot,
it does not help if you are looking for one of the millions, which are unavailable.
(12) Libraries don’t have every book, so you may need to buy one. (13) However, if
someone was to order a book online, delivery might take days. (14) Digital books
come immediately, and you don’t have to travel to a library or bookstore.
(15) Another difference is storage. (16) You may run out of room for printed books, but
a digital book reader can hold thousands. (17) If the reader’s battery dies, you may lose
books. (18) However, this does not ocur with printed books; they will still be on the shelf!
(19) A final difference concerns how the books are made. (20) Printed books use raw
materials like wood pulp and water. (21) Digital books do not require paper or water.
(22) They may be better for the environment.
(23) Make your own choice, print or digital. (24) Just keep on reading!

GO ON
Guided Editing 135
© Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company
Name Date

1 What change should be made in 3 What is the correct way to rewrite sentence
sentence 2? 8 so that it is in the active voice?

A Change may to should A Printed books are loaned by libraries or

B Change bookstore to book store sold by bookstores to people.
C Change online to on line B People borrow printed books from
D Change them to it libraries or buy them at bookstores.
C Books are borrowed from libraries or
EXPLANATION: Pronouns should agree in sold at bookstores by people.
number with the nouns they represent. The
D Printed books are borrowed or bought by
pronoun them is plural, but novel, the noun it
represents, is singular. D is correct.
people who use libraries or bookstores.
• A is incorrect. Changing may to should
EXPLANATION: In the active voice, the
would change the meaning of the sentence.
subject of the sentence performs the action. In
• B is incorrect. Bookstore is already correct.
the passive voice, the subject of the sentence
• C is incorrect. Changing online to on line will
receives the action. Because the word people
create an error.
performs the action upon books, a sentence
TEKS 13D, 17, 19 in the active voice should use people as its
subject. B is correct.
• A, C, and D are incorrect because the
subject of these sentences, books, receives
2 What change should be made in the action rather than performs it.
sentence 6? TEKS 13D, 17A
F Change Although to When
G Change among to between
H Delete the comma after same
J Change differences to diferences

EXPLANATION: Between refers to two things.

Among refers to a group of three or more.
In sentence 6, only two kinds of books are
being compared, so between should replace
among. G is correct.
• F is incorrect because changing Although
to When would result in a sentence
introduction that does not make sense.
• H is incorrect because the comma correctly
separates a lengthy introductory clause from
the independent clause that follows it.
• J is incorrect because differences is spelled
correctly.
TEKS 13D, 17, 18B, 19

GO ON
Guided Editing 136
© Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company
Name Date

4 What change, if any, should be made in 6 What change, if any, should be made in
sentence 11? sentence 18?

F Change sounds to sound F Delete However,

G Change a couple of to several G Change ocur to occur
H Change millions, which are to millions H Replace the semicolon after books with
that are a comma
J Make no change J Make no change

EXPLANATION: The clause which are EXPLANATION: Occur should be spelled with
unavailable is restrictive because the millions two c’s. G is correct.
would not make sense without it. Therefore, • F is incorrect because However is used
the clause should begin with that instead correctly.
of which and should not be preceded by a • H is incorrect because the change would
comma. H is correct. create an error in punctuation.
• F is incorrect because couple and sounds • J is incorrect because sentence 18 contains
agree in number; sound would introduce an an error and must be corrected.
agreement error.
TEKS 13D, 17C, 18B, 19
• G is incorrect because several would
indicate that there are far more than two
million books, changing the sentence’s
meaning.
• J is incorrect because the sentence
contains an error and needs to be corrected.
TEKS 13D, 17A

5 What change should be made in

sentence 13?

A Change was to were

B Insert a comma after someone
C Change a book to books
D Replace the second comma with a
semicolon

EXPLANATION: The word if shows that the

sentence is in the subjunctive mood. Were, not
was, is the past subjunctive form of to be. A is
correct.
• B is incorrect because inserting a comma
after someone would separate the clause’s
subject from its verb.
• C is incorrect because a book is correct and
does not need to be changed.
• D is incorrect because the comma correctly
separates an introductory adverb clause
from the clause it modifies.
TEKS 13D, 17B, 18B

STOP
Guided Editing 137
© Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company
Name Date

Editing Practice 1
Read the following essay. Then read each question and mark the correct answer.

Julia wrote this essay about an issue that affects teenagers and their families. She would
like you to read her essay and think about the corrections she should make. When you finish
­reading, answer the questions that follow.

Too Busy for Her Own Good

(1) On Mondays Monica swims. (2) On Tuesdays she takes karate; she plays
basketball each Wednesday. (3) On Thursdays she has school newspaper and plays
guitar. (4) She is also on the speech team, that means she has tournaments on Fridays.
(5) She plays tennis every weekend. (6) Some people say she’s a busy, well-rounded
teen. (7) They’re wrong. (8) She has to keep her grades up, but she doesn’t have
time for homework. (9) Teens like Monica are not well-rounded; they’re too busy.
(10) Monica made an activity chart and learned the truth. (11) Every minute was
full. (12) When she showed the chart to her parents, they were surprised. (13) She
hadn’t realized how full every day was for Monica. (14) It was time for a change.
(15) Monica’s grades started to drop, and that worried her parents. (16) It also worried
her. (17) Therefore, they made an appointment with the school councilor. (18) She said
Monica was doing too much. (19) She had to drop some activities but she wasn’t sure
which ones. (20) She knew that if she had to choose a favorite activity between all of the
choices, she would choose playing guitar. (21) She dropped basketball and karate.
(22) Then Monica decided to drop speech but stay on the newspaper staff.
(23) When these changes went into effect, Monica’s life seemed empty, but she
slept more, had time for homework, and was happier than she had been for a long time.
(24) She had time to hang out, and her grades improved. (25) Monica’s advice is simple.
(26) If she was you, she would drop unnecessary activities and make time for herself!

GO ON
Editing Practice 138
© Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company
Name Date

1 What change, if any, should be made in 4 What change should be made in

sentence 4? sentence 19?

A Change that to which F Change ones to one

B Delete the comma after team G Change wasn’t to is not
C Change tournaments to tourniments H Insert a comma after activities
D Make no change J Change the period to a question mark

2 What change should be made in 5 What change should be made in

sentence 13? sentence 20?

F Change She to They A Delete playing

G Add a comma after realized B Change between to among
H Change every day to everyday C Insert a comma after favorite
J Add a colon after was D Delete the comma after choices

3 What change, if any, should be made in 6 What change should be made in

sentence 17? sentence 26?

A Change made to set up F Change was to were

B Change the comma to a dash G Replace the comma after you with
C Change councilor to counselor a colon
D Make no change H Change herself to her self
J Insert a comma after activities

STOP
Editing Practice 139
© Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company
Name Date

Editing Practice 2
Read the following passage. Then read each question and mark the correct answer.

Madison wrote this paper about a historical figure. She would like you to read her paper and
look for the corrections she should make. When you finish reading, answer the questions that
follow.

Sam Houston
(1) Sam Houston is an important figure in Texas history. (2) He was born in Virginia
on March 2, 1793. (3) In 1807, Houston’s family moves to Tennessee. (4) While living in
Tennessee Houston fought in the War of 1812. (5) He also was a member of the House
of Representatives for Tennessee.
(6) Houston left Tennessee and eventually moved to Texas. (7) Before coming to
Texas, he had been living with a Cherokee tribe. (8) Some people believe that Houston
came to Texas because he wanted to get land for the Cherokee tribe.
(9) Once in Texas, Houston began to support the cause of the American settlers.
(10) At that time, Texas was a Mexican state. (11) The settlers wanted independence
from Mexico. (12) They formed an army. (13) In 1836 Sam Houston was named
commanding general of the revolutionary army. (14) On March 2, 1836, he signed the
Texas declaration of independence.
(15) On March 6, the Mexican army led by General Santa Anna defeated a group of
soldiers at the Alamo. (16) After hearing of the defeat, Houston and his army retreated.
(17) The army camped at a farm and made plans for atack.
(18) On April 21, 1836, Houston and his army surprised Santa Anna and the Mexican
forces. (19) The battle lasted less than 18 minutes. (20) The Mexican army was defeated,
and Santa Anna was captured. (21) He signed a treaty that gave Texas independence.
(22) After the treaty was signed, Texas became the Republic of Texas. (23) Sam
Houston became the first president. (24) Later, Texas became a part of the United
States. (25) Houston served as a United States senator for Texas and as a governor.
(26) He died in 1863.

GO ON
Editing Practice 140
© Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company
Name Date

1 What change, if any, should be made in 4 What change, if any, should be made in
sentence 3? sentence 15?

A Change In 1807 to During 1807 F Change led to lead

B Change Houston’s to Houstons’ G Change General to general
C Change moves to moved H Change defeated to that defeated
D Make no change J Make no change

2 What change should be made in 5 What change should be made in

sentence 4? sentence 17?

F Change War to war A Change at a farm to to a farm

G Insert a comma after Tennessee B Insert a comma after farm
H Insert a semicolon after Tennessee C Change atack to attack
J Change fought to fights D Change camped to camps

3 What change should be made in 6 What change, if any, should be made in

sentence 14? sentence 20?

A Change March to march F Change was captured to is captured

B Delete the comma after March 2 G Delete the comma after defeated
C Insert a colon after signed H Change was defeated to was defeating
D Change declaration of independence J Make no change
to Declaration of Independence

STOP
Editing Practice 141
© Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company