**Script Title: "Placement Ka Total Dhamaal: Recruiter Wale Hasee Fasee"**--

Act 1: Simran the Overachiever**

*(Simran, a 1st-year student, enters with a PowerPoint clicker in hand,
confidently walking up to the recruiters.)*
**Simran:**
Good morning, sir, ma’am! I’m Simran, Computer Science 1st year.
**Mr. Khanna (raising an eyebrow):**
1st year? Placement toh final year ke liye tha! Tum kaise?
**Simran:**
Sir, opportunity lene ka time nahi milta, maangna padta hai! Skills toh abhi
hain, degree baad mein ho jayegi.
**Ms. Mehta (laughing):**
Oh, toh tum “Future-Ready” ho! Kya experience hai?
**Simran (pulling out a USB):**
7 hackathons, 3 startups, aur meri TED Talk ka recording bhi hai, sir!
Chintu : Experience toh mera bhi boht hai sir.4 saal ki btech ko 10 saal mei kara
tha,sochiye kitna experience hoga.
Ms. Mehta:Tum kon ho?
Chintu: Mai Chintu, alumni of Chhichore University.
Ms. Mehta: Ye toh isi college ka naam hai.
Chintu: Hamare yahan aisa hi hota hai.
Simran: Aree mam mera interview le lijiye pehle.I have more interviews lined
up.
Ms. Mehta:Ruk na ave.
**Mr. Khanna (deadpan):** Thik hai Simran ye btao TED Talk ka topic kya tha?
**Simran:** “How to Crack Placements Before You’re Even Eligible.”
**Ms. Mehta (mock clapping):** Aise topics toh Google pe bhi nahi milte!
Agar tum abhi join karogi, exams ka kya hoga?
 **Simran:** Exams ka kaam mera AI assistant karta hai, main bas results pe
focus karti hoon!
**Mr. Khanna (rolling his eyes):** Toh degree bhi AI se hi generate karlo phir.
*(Simran leaves, whispering, “Unvisionary people… they don’t get it.”)*--
Chintu: Hahaha pagli soch rhi thi gabbar khush hoga,shabashi dega.
### **Act 2: Raju the Backlog Legend**
*(Raju enters with a hopeful smile, carrying a slightly crumpled resume.)*
**Raju:** Good morning, sir, ma’am!
**Ms. Mehta (looking at his resume):* 12 backlogs? Hey hariram krishn
jagannathham.
**Raju (nervously):** Ma’am, wo backlogs nahi… *second attempts* hain! Har
baar naye professor ke saath seekhne ka experience mil jaata hai.
Peon: Ae jhuth bol raha hai,jhuth bol rha hai.
**Mr. Khanna (smirking):**
Matlab tum syllabus ke Ghajini bn gye ho,syllabus yaad toh aata hai pr exam
hall ke bahar.
**Raju:** Sir, padhai slow hai, lekin learning deep hai.
Chintu: Us bro us.
**Ms. Mehta:**[angry] tum hi kr lo interview.
Chintu: Hato phir.
Ms. Mehta: [rolling eyes] Kya tum coding kar lete ho?
**Raju (proudly):**
Coding weak hai, lekin main Stack Overflow ka king hoon! Aur ChatGPT se full-
time dosti kar rakhi hai.
**Mr. Khanna (exasperated):**
Beta, tum chai bana lete ho?
**Raju:**
Haan sir, cutting chai specialist hoon!
**Mr. Khanna (pointing to the door):**
We can’t let a chaiwala handle our company.You’re out.
*(Raju leaves, muttering, “Main prime minister banunga”)*--
### **Act 3: Bablu the "Entrepreneur"**
*(Bablu walks in with a dramatic air, carrying an empty briefcase. He opens it,
and it’s... empty.)*
**Bablu:** Good morning, sir, ma’am! I’m Bablu, a visionary entrepreneur and
future *Shark Tank* finalist.
**Ms. Mehta (curious):** Entrepreneur? Toh placement ke liye kyun aaye ho?
**Bablu:** Ma’am, ek startup ko funding lene ke liye sabse pehle ek steady job
chahiye hoti hai, samjhiye!
Chintu: Ye konsa tareeka hai bheekh maangne ka??
Ms. Mehta:[gesturing]
**Mr. Khanna (sarcastic):**
Toh tumhe job chahiye ya investment?
**Bablu:** Sir, dono! Ek job, dusra *samosa vending machine business*.
**Ms. Mehta:** Startup ka idea kya hai?
**Bablu (with full confidence):** Revolutionary app—*SamosaLocater™*! Yeh
app sabko bataega ki sabse garam, crispy samosa kahan milta hai.
**Mr. Khanna:**Matlab tum Swiggy ko competition dene aaye ho?
Chintu: Arey copied idea hai.Mere dost se acha thode bata dega ki samosa
kaha garam or crispy hai.
Ms. Mehta:PK hai kyaa.
Chintu:Nahi mam,CHINTU.
**Ms. Mehta (laughing):**Tech samajhte ho?
**Bablu (innocently):** Sir, mujhe coding nahi aati. Par freelancer toh har
jagah milte hain na?
**Mr. Khanna (mocking):** Bablu, tum startup founder nahi, *samosa
historian* ho! Bahar jao!
*(Bablu leaves dramatically, offering, “Free beta testing, sir! SamosaLocater ka
promo code bhi de raha hoon!”)*
Chintu:Bhai samosa toh deta jaa.
--### **Act 4: Pinky the Social Media Influencer**
*(Pinky enters, filming herself on her phone and streaming live.)*
**Pinky:**
Hey, guys! Pinky here, live from the placement drive. Hashtag
*JobHuntingWithStyle!*
Chintu:Ek or Namooni.
**Ms. Mehta:**
Beta, phone band karo. Yeh interview hai, Bigg Boss ka audition nahi!
**Pinky (ignoring her):**
Sir, ma’am, I’m an influencer with 1 million followers. Main aapki company ka
global face ban sakti hoon!
**Mr. Khanna:** Tumhein coding aati hai?
**Pinky:**Sir, nahi, par insta ke algorithm bohoot ache se janti hoon.
Chintu:Algae jaise log or algorithm ki baatein.
Pinky:Excuse me bhaya,mind your language.Guys please support me by
commenting to boycott this bhaya.#sotacky
Ms. Mehta (laughing): Wow! Toh aap reels banake client se coding karwaengi?
**Pinky (proudly):** Sir, reels viral ho jayengi. Hashtag *HirePinky*!
**Mr. Khanna (laughing):**
Hashtag *GetOut*!
*(Pinky storms out, filming herself: “Guys, they rejected Pinky! Hashtag
*UnfairSystem*!")*--
### **Act 6: The Recruiters Give Up**
 *(Ms. Mehta and Mr. Khanna are looking at each other in disbelief, exhausted
from the bizarre
candidates.)*
**Ms. Mehta:** Kaun hain ye log,kahan se aate hain ye log.
Chintu:Arre madam isse pehle or Tejaswi bachche aaye,meri maano pahiye laga
ke bhaag jao.
Mr. Khanna:Pehli baar koi sahi baat kahi hai tumne chintu.
Chintu:Bas kabhi ghamand nahi kiya .

THE END!