ASSERTIVENESS DYNAMICS

OBJECTIVES:
Reflect on our style of behavior
Differentiate the three styles of behavior: passive, assertive, and aggressive.
Learn to defend our rights, to express feelings, and to respond
to criticism in a socially assertive manner.
Learn and apply assertiveness techniques

1.- ASSERTIVENESS QUESTIONNAIRE

PROCESS:
The questionnaire that evaluates assertiveness will be answered individually.
subsequent to the correction and analysis of it.
The assertive and non-assertive totals resulting from the correction will be compared.
indicating the predominance of assertive or non-assertive trends

OBSERVATIONS:
With this activity, it is intended for students to reflect on themselves and
value the non-assertive responses to try to change them.

ACTIVITY TEMPLATE:
Assertive questionnaire
1. When a person is openly unfair, do you tend to say nothing to them?
regarding ¿...... Yes No
Does he/she always do his/her best to avoid problems with other people?
Do you usually avoid social contacts for fear of doing or saying something inappropriate?...... Yes No
4. If a friend has betrayed you by revealing some of your secrets, do you tell them what you think?
Really? Yes No
5. If I shared the room with another person, would I insist that he or she take part in
Yes No
6. When an employee in a store serves a person who arrived later first.
Do you notice it?......................................................................Yes No
7. Do you know few people with whom you can feel relaxed and have a good time?...... Yes No
Would you hesitate before asking a friend for money?...............................................Yes No
If you lent a significant amount of money to a person who seems to have
Forgotten about it, would you remember it?.................................................Yes No
10. If a person constantly mocks you, do you have difficulty expressing your
irritation o displeasure?..................................................................Yes No
11. Do you prefer to remain standing at the back of an auditorium rather than looking for...
front seat?..................................................................................Yes No
12. If someone continuously kicked the back of your seat in the cinema, would you ask them to
Will you stop doing it?.........................................................Yes No
13. If a friend were to call you every day at late hours of the night, would you ask them?
Will it not call later than a certain hour?............................................Yes No
14. If you were talking to another person who suddenly interrupts the conversation
Conversation directed at a third party, would you express your irritation?..................Yes No
15. If you are in a fancy restaurant and your steak is too rare, would you ask for...
Should I ask the waiter to cook it a little longer?.....................................Yes No
16. If the owner of an apartment that you rent has not made certain repairs that are due
Did you insist that he/she do them?............................Yes No
Would you return an item with errors that you bought a few days ago?....................... Yes No
18. If a person you respect were to express opinions contrary to yours, would you
Would you dare to express your own point of view?..................................................Yes No
19. Can you say 'no' when asked unreasonable things? .................................. Yes
No
Do you think that each person should defend their own rights?

Correction:

Asertiva : 1-Si, 2-No, 3-No, 4-Si, 5-Si, 6-Si, 7-No, 8-No, 9-Si, 10-No, 11-No, 12-Si 13-
Yes, 14-Yes, 15-Yes, 16-Yes, 17-Yes, 18-Yes, 19-Yes, 20-Yes. -

No asertiva : 1-No, 2-Si, 3-Si, 4-No, 5-No, 6-No, 7-Si, 8-Si, 9-No, 10-Si, 11-Si, 12-No
No Total

2.- BEHAVIOR STYLE TEST

PROCESS:
The test will be answered individually.
The results will be analyzed:
If the answers are mainly from class a) your behavior is passive. You should
wake up, you have your rights, you are very valid, you are very important.
Get it in your head and practice social skills!
If the answers are of type b) you function assertively, that is, you express
directly what you feel, need, think… However, you can
perfect your skills
If your answers are mostly of type c), your style is aggressive. This is not
It is the way to be socially skillful. It's not about overwhelming, imposing,
crush, always get your way. Reflect and think about the rights of the
Others also exist. It's time to learn social skills.

OBSERVATIONS:
It is intended for them to reflect on their style of doing things (communicating,
rolling or hiding) and know that assertiveness, like the rest of the
Social skills can be learned.

ACTIVITY TEMPLATE:

Test: behavior style

1.- In your conversations with friends...

I share very few things.

I am a super communicator, I express directly what I feel.

I almost always impose my viewpoints.

2.- If someone criticizes me, I...

a) I think they are always right. I am the one who fails.

b) I will study the criticism well, I will accept it or reject it, depending.

c) Who criticizes me? Let them dare!

3.- In relationships with others there are usually problems. What I do is...

a) Well, I don't do much, the others will solve it and if not, I'll put up with it.

Yes, I usually accept ideas.

c) I resolve it quickly with a threat.

4. I think of myself that...

Psss. I fail at many things, I am a mess.

My ability to relate to others is notably high. I look good.

c) I give myself a 10. I am phenomenal, I don’t fail at anything. I see myself as superior.

5.- How does your 'coconut' work?

I have many thoughts that bring down my morale.

I defend myself well.

I don't think.

6.- In my team or my group, I...

I participate rather little.

I believe I am a good asset,

c) I am the team, without me it wouldn't function.

7.- And what about with people of the opposite sex? How's it going for you?

a) It makes me really shy. I am quite reserved when it comes to approaching a boy/girl.

I won't do it anymore.

c) That doesn't affect me. I have no problem. I get what I want.

8.- When you talk to others, do you use appropriate gestures?

a) Sometimes I tend to look into the eyes of the person who is talking to me.

b) Yes

c) Of all the gestures, the appropriate ones and others that I know.

A friend is really "cool" and trendy, you love their "clothes".

so you...

a) I keep quiet, I say nothing

b) I say something nice

c) I tell him that he looks horrible (even though it isn't true)

10.- When someone violates my rights, I...

I hold on

b) I express my complaints directly but politely.

Poor is he who dares.

3.- Aggressive or Assertive?

PROCESS:

Explain with some examples the difference between aggressive behavior and
another assertive (it can be dramatized by some students)
Example: "Your neighbors have a big dog in a kennel next to your garden."
They like to let the dog run for an hour every day.
Recently, it has come to your garden and destroyed several plants. You call.
your neighbors to tell them the situation.

Aggressive response: Your stupid dog has ruined my garden! I knew

From the beginning, you were so irresponsible as to keep it down.
Control. If you come back to my property, I will call animal control.

Assertive response: I've noticed that sometimes you let the dog run free.
freely. Recently, it has been digging in my garden and has
killed several plants. Could we reach an agreement so that the
Couldn’t the dog run through my garden?

Deliver the activity sheet to fill out.

Sharing of the activity sheet

OBSERVATIONS:
When the activity is shared, the aim will be for the students to
reflections on the moments when they tend to use aggressive responses, with what
people use them, if in normal reactions they are more aggressive or assertive and which
of the two answers to the activities, it was easier for him to fill out

ACTIVITY TEMPLATE

Completa respuestas asertivas y agresivas en las siguientes situaciones:

1.- You have been waiting in line at the store for quite a while. A person arrives.
and without respecting the queue, they stand in front of you. And you say:

Assertive Response Aggressive Response

You take your computer for repair. You need the device and the man says it will take time.
at least a day. After waiting a week, the man has not started to
fix it. You tell him:

Assertive Response Aggressive Response

You have lent a computer program to a friend. Time passes and you do not get it back.
returns. Upon insistence, he hands you a copy of the program instead of the program itself.
the one you left. He claims that he has lost yours. You tell him:

Assertive Response Aggressive Response

4.- And what would you do?

PROCESS:

Reflect and complete the activity sheet individually

Sharing

OBSERVATIONS
We aim for you to reflect on everyday situations where either it is
It's difficult to know how to act correctly or one knows how to act, but it's hard to do so.
things like how they think

ACTIVITY TEMPLATE:

In the situations that are presented below… what would you do?

1.- We are on a trip. After eating, there is a lot of waste.

papers, plastics,... what would you do?

2.- After eating on an excursion, the teacher indicates that it is necessary to clean up.
area. Several colleagues are picking up the remains that were left on the ground, but
some pretend to be lazy, laughing and mocking those who work. You
What would you do?

3.- You are in class. You have to complete an assignment that your teacher has asked you for, but you don't...
you focus because a group of classmates are bothering and causing a commotion...
What would you do?

4.- You are walking down the street with a group of friends. You cross paths with a person who ...
he has a physical defect. One of your friends starts making 'jokes', and mocking him
she imitating her defect... What would you do?

5- You are at recess. A classmate does not have a sandwich because they were late and came.
without breakfast. What would you do?

You are on break. There is a friend who asks you for part of your snack every day.
Do the same with other colleagues. What would you do?
5. – KILLER PHRASES

PROCESS:
Awareness of the way we address our fellow beings,
usually attributing negative aspects (you messages) that do not facilitate the
communication. To do this, a list of killer phrases will be presented,
proposing to complete the list with other phrases provided by the students and
subsequently reflecting on whether they are suitable for communication and for
what.
The tutor explains what I-messages are, and in pairs, they practice.
message production you and message production me based on simulated situations
In a large group, the conclusions are summarized aiming for them to reflect on.
advantages and disadvantages of each of the messages seen, ease or
difficulty in drafting them, what help can you provide for
to communicate better...
They could be asked to analyze all the messages next week.
and the messages you will make and the response of the interlocutor in each case.

OBSERVATIONS:
It is intended for students to understand that in order to communicate effectively and with
Respect, we must be able to make our feelings, ideas, and...
intentions. By using messages, I can make the other person see
the consequences of his behavior, how he has frustrated our expectations and us
It saddens me more than focusing on his behavior, or trying to blame him or accuse him.

ACTIVITY TEMPLATE:

Killer phrases
You can't have a dialogue with you.
You just keep repeating and repeating.
You are a ghost.
You always do the same thing!
You don't understand anything about this matter.
Look, don't wrap me up.
Say it yourself, you know everything.
Sometimes, you worry more about others than about your family.
You're crazy; do it yourself if you want.
I don't want to see you with that shameless friend you have.
-You look silly, son/daughter. Why didn't you say hello yesterday?
Don't bring anyone home. You go figure out what kind of company you're with!

Messages I
The message I is a respectful communication with the person in front of you.
You communicate without reproaching the other person. However, your messages often...
attributing the causes of your behaviors and opinions to other people. It is common to
express with commands and imperatives. With these messages your colleagues can
to feel evaluated, controlled, blamed, and treated unfairly.
To construct messages, you can follow these three steps:
 1- Briefly describe the situation or behavior that bothers or annoys you.
Describe and do not judge. For example: You raise your voice a lot and I can't hear what you are saying.
They say. I feel upset.
2- Describe the consequences or effects of such behavior or feeling
has over you (... and I can't manage to hear what they are saying)
3- Express the feelings that this behavior causes you (I feel upset)

Situations to produce 'I' messages and 'you' messages

Your friend asks you to accompany him to a store, but you prefer to stay in.
house watching a movie.
Pepe speaks in a passionate tone when he believes he has the truth. He always tries to
to take the water to one's mill.
At the exit of the institute, you greeted your friend Juani and she was angry and did not you
she answered. You didn't know the reason for her discomfort.

6. - THE 3 R'S

PROCESS:
The teacher asks the students to fold a sheet of paper 4 times in order to form 4.
columns and gives them the following instructions:
In the 1st column, they must include a list of the names of 10 people with the
to be in more daily contact (parents, friends, teachers...)
In the 2nd column, 1 or 2 statements that express resentment towards three.
people indicated in the previous column. E.g.: I am resentful towards Carlos
because she hasn't shared the notes with me. I am upset with my friend Lucia
Why doesn't he/she pay attention to me?

The teacher will clarify that resentment is a way of expressing anger.

an offense towards other people. It is important that they know how to express that resentment.
without falling into personal offense or insult
In the 3rd column, try to write what you really want them to do.
persons towards whom he feels resentment; that is, he creates a
Requirement must be stated clearly and precisely. For example: I am resentful.
with my friend Lucia, because she doesn't pay attention to me and I need her to listen to me
I have discussed with my parents.
In the 4th column corresponds to recognition. Resentment and the
requirements can become more significant for the person towards whom they are directed
you lead if you try to see the positive aspects of their performance and appreciate the
reasons for his behavior. E.g.: I recognize that he has a lot to study and
he can't attend to me like before...
The complete example would be: I am resentful towards my friend Lucia, because she doesn't make me
I need you to listen to me because I have argued with my parents, but I recognize
that has a lot to study and cannot attend to me like before.

OBSERVATIONS:
This activity provides a good assertive strategy for the control of various
emotions such as anger, anxiety, jealousy, sadness... by allowing them to manifest and
positively communicate our feelings, empathizing with those of others and
helping us to resolve conflicts in a non-violent way.
7. - THE AGGRESSION

PROCESS:
The group is presented with the following story: "Miguel is playing in the yard with a
ball and Aitor pushes him, makes him fall to the ground and takes the ball away from him. Miguel tries
to get up from the ground but Aitor pushes him down again and he falls again. What does Miguel feel?
In that situation? What could I do?
The class is divided into groups that will reflect on how to respond to this.
conflict situation.
In a large group, the solutions of each group are read and classified as assertive,
aggressive or passive. If the responses are not assertive, the teacher must point out ways
positives of responding to aggression such as questioning one’s behavior, pointing it out
impact of their behavior on others and the consequences that may arise for
their interpersonal relationships, asking them for compensation for the damage...

OBSERVATIONS:
This activity aims for a situation in which a person is
unjustly attacked, analyze different ways to respond to the aggression.

8.- EXPRESSING CRITICISM APPROPRIATELY

PROCESS:
The objective and importance of the activity will be explained, and the model will be worked on.
continue in the expression of criticisms:
Describe the situation, provide information on what bothers us without expressing it.
Judgments about the other person and without evaluating them, express your criticism in a concrete way.
(when/whenever...)
Express your emotion in a calm tone (that makes me feel...)
Tell him what you want him to do, suggest or ask for changes (I would like that...)
Notice that you are also going to make an effort for everything to go well (on my part,
I commit to…)
Express your gratitude for listening to you (I thank you...)
Example: When you continue reading the newspaper while I am talking to you, that
it makes me feel ignored and undervalued, I would like you to pay attention to me and
you look at me when I tell you something, for my part I commit to waiting if it's not the
right moment. Thank you very much.
Couples are given a series of situations (first list), they choose two of them and
elaborate my message.
Then they are given list 2, choose 3 messages you and elaborate the message I.
The work is discussed in a large group and conclusions are drawn. To elaborate the
conclusions we can help ourselves with the following questions:
How do we feel when we are criticized with 'I' messages?
How does the other person feel when we express a criticism in an appropriate manner?
Does the other person understand better this way why their behavior bothers us?
Can agreements be reached more easily?
observations
We intend for them to acquire the ability to express criticism adequately, without
attack the people but their behavior, while allowing the other to know
what our emotions are and what we ask for. This way of making criticisms us
allows us to avoid misunderstandings and makes it easier to reach a satisfactory solution for
both parties.
The acquisition of this skill is very important for the prevention of violence.

ACTIVITY TEMPLATE:

Situations to look for the messages myself

A teacher has scolded you harshly today in class and you have
very annoying feeling
A colleague has asked you for a favor, but in a very rude manner.
Hey you, give me the language notes. I need them now.
Every time you ask a teacher a question, a classmate tries to
humiliate laughing at you.
A friend returns the book you lent him in very bad condition. It is
underlined, with annotations written in pen on different sheets and some
of them loose.
When you have asked a colleague to explain to you how to do a
exercise, he has told you: You have no cure.
A friend told you they couldn't go out because they had to study, and you found out.
went to the cinema with another friend from the group.
A friend takes something from you without asking.
You have to do a project with a partner, but he is completely passive and
does not participate in anything.
A colleague won't stop talking to you in the library. It's becoming difficult for you.
concentrate.
A teacher has assigned you many exercises to do at home, but you already had many.
things to do and you feel quite overwhelmed

Find the best messages or the following messages you

I'm not going to let you have anything again. You always break everything.
You are always doing silly things and not letting us work. Stop doing the
fool or go somewhere else.
I am not going to trust you again. You always say things and then you never fulfill them.
You have no right to treat me like that in front of others.
Say everything you have to say about me to my face.
I'm not going to tell you anything again. Then you tell everyone.
Why do you always single me out? Do you have something against me or what?
-Again the same! Can't you explain something interesting to us?
I've had my hand raised for 5 minutes and you haven't answered me.
Why do you always have to put work at the last minute and without prior notice?

9.- THE REJECTION

PROCESS:
 The group is told the following story: 'Ana is having problems with her group of
friends. His companions do not let him participate in their games, they reject him. One day
the group is making plans to attend the birthday party on Saturday
Rosa. Ana approaches the group and tells them that she would like to go to the party. One from the
the group responds to her that she cannot go because she is not invited. What does Ana feel in the?
this situation? What could I do?
The class is divided into groups where different ways of responding are worked on.
this conflictive situation in which a person is rejected. Each team
he/she will select the form of response that he/she considers most appropriate, making a
dramatization, where the story and the selected solution are shown.
Once the dramatizations are completed, the different ones will be analyzed in a large group.
answers, clarifying whether they are assertive answers (says what they think and feel)
without hurting or humiliating), aggressive (says what they think and feel humiliating and
wounding) or passive (says what he feels or thinks, submitting)

OBSERVATIONS:
This activity aims to promote an analysis of the causes of rejection and the
emotions it generates, discussing the possible alternatives.
This activity should also serve to recognize real peers who are living
this situation or other instances of rejection

10.- MOUSE, LION AND PERSON

PROCESS:
Identify the three behavior styles along with their characteristics.
Mouse: Passive Style: Does not know how to defend their rights and decisions, nor act, nor
communicate effectively. Becomes timid, acts according to what others want and
that causes discomfort.
Lion: Aggressive style; Does not defend his rights and decisions adequately. Not
respect others. It is expressed by overpowering others or manipulating them.
React with insults or ridicule
Person: Assertive style; Knows how to effectively and appropriately defend their rights and
decisions, without aggression or cowardice. Acts based on personal criteria, expresses his
thoughts, convictions, and feelings, respecting those of others.
They individually carry out the activity that appears below and that
intends to determine whether the characteristics of the 3 styles have been made clear
conduct. It is later corrected and commented.
In groups of 3 people, they perform dramatizations where they appear
represented the 3 styles of behavior

observations
This activity aims for students to identify the 3 behavior styles, and a
Once the representations are made, analyze the advantages and disadvantages.
ACTIVITY TEMPLATE:
Relate the characteristics with the corresponding behavior style:

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ASSERTIVE

It does not take into account

to the others
He/She allows himself/herself to be manipulated

No know to ask
help
Defend sus
rights with
courage and security
Impose sus
opinions sine
listen to the ones from the
others
Her voice is firm and
Clara and her gaze
direct
Feels inferior to
the others
Listen and participate
without fears
Criticism always
insult and humiliate
Know how to say NO to
something that wants
to do, without feeling
guilty.
He does not defend his
rights
Speak shouting, with
challenging look
His look is
downcast and elusive
and his low voice
The others himself
they take advantage of him
Knows how to be critical, without

to humiliate
Gets into trouble
No himselffeel
accepted by the
others
11.- SCRATCHED DISC TECHNIQUE

PROCESS:
The scratched disc technique will be introduced, which involves choosing a short phrase.
that synthesizes what we want and repeats it over and over again, with serenity,
respecting the turn of speech, without engaging in provocations with the other person,
until he realizes that he will achieve nothing with his attacks or provocations.

The following case will be analyzed, which can be dramatized.

Your friends offer you tobacco or drinks and insist that you should consume it if you want.
to be part of the gang, because everyone is doing it. And a relationship is established
next dialogue:
Buddy: Dude, what's wrong with you, are you gay or what?
You: No, I simply don't want to.
Friend: Come on, while we are having fun, you will be missing out.
You: Yes, but I don't want to
Friend: What are others going to say about you? If you don't dare, don't come back with the
gang.
You: I don't care what they say, I don't want to drink or smoke. If you want another day
see you.

-Pairs will create situations where the broken record technique is used,
a dialogue will be written and it will be dramatized.
Some can be suggested such as:
A door-to-door salesman manipulates you into having your parents buy a product
One Saturday afternoon, a friend suggests doing something you don't like.
My friends want to see a movie that I don't like.
A merchant wants to convince you to buy something you don't like
Your mother or father wants to impose what you have to study in the future.

observations
Students are meant to realize that it is not necessary to attack another person.
to defend ourselves and that we have the right to insist on our point of view

12.- FOG BANK TECHNIQUE

PROCESS:
The fog bank technique will be introduced, which is very effective when we
they insult or criticize. It's as if the words enter into a cloud that protects you and does not
resonate within you making you feel guilty or unhappy.
It is acknowledged that what the other says may be true or probable, without denying it, without
counterattack, but without yielding to their pressures. With this technique, you somehow give the
reason with the other person and it seems that apparently they are conceding
A calm and reflective tone of voice should be used.

The following case will be analyzed, which can be dramatized:

Sandra and Mónica are friends.
Mónica: How fat you are!
Sandra (Fog Bank): If it's true, I could be thinner.
Mónica: You should go on a diet.
Sandra (Fog Bank): Yes, maybe if I ate a little less I would be less fat.
Mónica: Well and don't forget the sport
Sandra (Bank of Fog): Yes, maybe I'll decide on one.
Mónica: Well, I advise you to make up your mind already, because frankly, you are overweight.
Sandra (Bank of fog) I know I could be thinner

In pairs, situations will be invented where the fog bank technique is used.
A dialogue will be written and dramatized.

OBSERVATIONS:
It is intended that they learn this technique and verify that it reduces the feeling of
guilt or anxiety that is felt when you are criticized and become defensive.
Maybe later you think about it and see its criticisms in a positive way or
you simply ignore them, but that will be your own decision, not because of the other
let someone tell you.

13. - ASSERTIVENESS TECHNIQUES

PROCESS:
This activity will take place after the broken record technique and the fog bank.
The class is divided into groups and each of them will analyze a real case of those
they are named below using the broken record technique, of the bank of
fog or self-revelation.
Self-disclosure consists of expressing what we think and feel, our
rights or interests, even if they are different from the majority or from logic. To speak
from oneself, in the first person, without judging or interfering with the other. It
they will use phrases like: 'I think that...' 'My opinion is that...' 'I would like to...'
what...
Situations to analyze:
A friend asks you to lend him money.
A salesperson wants to convince you to buy something you don't want.
like
3) Your mother or your father wants to impose what you have to study in the
future.
A teacher criticizes you unfairly
My friends want to watch a movie that I don't like.
Your mother doesn't want you to wear a certain outfit.
A friend insists that you smoke a cigarette when you don't feel like it.
Your parents want you to cut your hair.
On a Saturday afternoon, a friend suggests doing something that you don't want to.
like
Someone ridicules you because you don't want to drink.
11) A door-to-door salesman manipulates you into getting your parents to buy a
product
12) You express an opinion contrary to what the entire group thinks
 A teacher is scolding you because you didn't do a task properly.
Do you want to change the subject of conversation?

OBSERVATIONS:
It is intended that they apply their knowledge of assertive techniques to situations of the
reality that surrounds them.

14.- DEFENDING ONE'S OWN RIGHTS

PROCESS:
The Professor explains the three styles of behavior (passive, aggressive, and assertive) and their
respective advantages and disadvantages, then divide the class into groups of 3 or 4 students. A
each of the groups is responsible for preparing one of the situations presented to
continuation using one of the three behavioral styles: aggressive, assertive and
passive
You must approach the two people who are in front of you at a public event.
(cinema, theater, etc.) to tell them that you cannot hear. These people have a
good time talking (assertive style)
2. Your group of classmates meets during recess, and this time they decide
to offer you to smoke. But you are not interested.
One of your teachers usually arrives late to class, to make up for this time.
take 10 minutes from recess. Your group of friends is uncomfortable with this situation and
They decide to speak with the teacher. (assertive style)
Your partner usually invades your desk with their things, leaving you little space.
to work (aggressive style)
The representations are made and then a discussion is held around the
following points:
How was the representation of each person?
How did each actor feel about their role? Did they identify with the style of
represented behavior?
What are the advantages and disadvantages of the behavior style represented in
each situation?

observations
The aim of this activity is for the students to understand the advantages and disadvantages of
the three styles of behavior, valuing assertive behavior as the most
appropriate in our relationship with other people.

15.- FILING A COMPLAINT

PROCESS:
Previously, the concepts of assertive, aggressive, and passive formulations are reviewed.
The class is divided into pairs and each one invents a dialogue with a situation.
conflictive and a style of behavior (of the options that appear below) Sayings
Dialogues will be recorded on a tape, prior to the execution of the activity in class.
The options presented to the different couples are:
 1) situation among classmates in the classroom - passive complaint
2) situation between couples - assertive complaint
3) situation between student and teacher - aggressive complaint from the student
4) situation among peers in the yard - assertive complaint
5) situation between father/mother and child - passive complaint of the child
6) situation between couples - aggressive complaint
7) situation between student and teacher - assertive complaint from the student
8) situation among classmates on a school trip - aggressive complaint
9) situation between father/mother and son - assertive complaint of the son
Once the tape is made, it is listened to in full in class and analyzed in each case.
What is the situation about? Who is speaking? How do they complain? What happens with the
the person who formulates and the one who receives the complaint?, clearly highlighting the benefits
of assertive complaints

OBSERVATIONS:
With this activity, the aim is for students to assertively express complaints and
be aware of the effects produced by assertive complaints, aggressive complaints, and the word no
formulate them (passive attitude)

16. – RESPONDING TO AN ACCUSATION (I)

PROCESS:
The teacher reads aloud to the class this beginning of the story:
Pepe is very happy walking through the park when he suddenly sees Rafa coming towards him.
meeting. Rafa has a very strange look. Pepe wonders what could be happening to him.
they approach and greet each other, but immediately Rafa starts shouting. He says that Pepe has
I made a really bad impression with the other kids in the neighborhood, that he is a bad friend, that he has the...
blame for everything that happens to him. So Pepe…
Each student thinks individually and writes how they would act if they were Pepe. (All the
responses are valuable, as they are intended to be spontaneous
A common review of the responses is made, classifying them into two groups: those that
they reduce tension and allow a peaceful means of resolution and those that cause
major conflict. It will be about deducing why those from the first group are better.

OBSERVATIONS:
It is intended for students to distinguish between the ways of responding to an accusation.
that promotes a non-violent regulation of the conflict and those that increase the
conflict, and that they evaluate the advantages of the first type

17.- RESPONDING TO AN ACCUSATION (II)

PROCESS:
The students imagine a conflictive situation, write short stories in pairs.
that contain the three elements:
adolescents who talk or send messages by mobile
an accusation
solution that leaves the way open for dialogue.
These stories can be represented and displayed on a mural. As a conclusion to the
The exhibition of stories will evaluate the advantages of these solutions and not of others.

OBSERVATIONS:
Students are expected to distinguish between the ways to respond to an accusation.
that favors a non-violent regulation of the conflict and those that increase the
conflict, and that they appreciate the advantages of the first type

18.- ASSERTIVE CASE

PROCESS:
Read and analyze the following case:
An assistant director of a department has been working intensely to prepare
in a timely manner, up to its final version, a presentation that its director had
requested and for this he had to research information from different sources and
consult different specialists. When the director presented this material to a
Committee mentioned several times how he supposedly had carried out the
research, consulted with the specialists and reached the conclusions of the
presentation that was very well received by the Committee. Once the director had
After the presentation and upon arriving at his office, the deputy director expressed to him that he
It was nice that his work had been useful to you, and, in a kind and firm manner,
he felt somewhat disappointed because he expected to receive some mention of his
effort and would appreciate it if in similar situations such recognition would be given
to his job.
Not to verbally or physically assault the director, nor to complain about him to third parties nor
staying silent, perhaps with some resentment, the deputy director showed assertiveness.

How would the deputy director have shown passive behavior? And aggressive?
What advantages and disadvantages does each of them have?

OBSERVATIONS:
It would be advisable to compare the example with similar real cases that we know.
19.- ASSERTIVE RESPONSES

PROCESS:
Given some examples of assertive responses, the student will try to recognize and
analyze the technique used
Example 1.
A salesperson who arrives at home
Seller (V) - Hello... I present to you the encyclopedia....
We (N) - I understand, but I'm not interested
V- It could be useful for the study of your children...etc
I understand, but I'm not interested.
V- Is your son not at home?... I'm sure he would be interested.
I understand, but I'm not interested.

Example 2.
Your group of friends decides to skip classes and go to the 'barracks'. They insist you to ...
that you go with them.
You: "They are right that it would be fun to do, but I will let them know what I decide."

Example 3.
Your friends insist that you try something you don't want to.
Friend: Here, try this with us.
You: "What do you think if we make a bet to see who can hold out longer"
dancing
Friend: I think you are selfish
You: "You may be right and sometimes I behave selfishly"
For you, I will be selfish, but for me, I am a person who knows how to have fun.

Example 4.
Your mother is very angry because you promised to arrive at one in the morning and
You arrived at two. They argue and both present their points of view.
You: "Okay, I won't be late even by five minutes again, and you'll have me back."
trust and you will let me go to my boyfriend's party in a month.

OBSERVATIONS:
It is intended that in the first example it recognizes the scratched disk technique, in the
second example the one from the fog bank, in the third example the proposition of
alternatives, fog bank and the technique for you/for me and in example 4, the
consensus (which consists of reaching an agreement, with both parties conceding a little)
the original position)

20. STYLES OF BEHAVIOR

PROCESS:
Given a situation, the students must respond following the 3 styles of
conduct
Example 1:
Your friend just arrived for dinner, exactly an hour late. He hasn't called you to
to let you know that it would be delayed. You are irritated by the delay.
1. PASSIVE BEHAVIOR. Greet him as if nothing happened and say, 'Come in, dinner is ready.'
on the table
2. AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR. You made me very nervous by arriving late. It's the
last time I invite you
3. ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR. I have been waiting for an hour without knowing what
what was happening (facts). You have made me nervous and irritated (feelings), if another
If you are late, let me know (specific behavior) you will make the wait more pleasant.
(consequences).

OBSERVATIONS:
It is intended for students to practice the 3 styles of behavior and evaluate how
more positive the assertive

ACTIVITY TEMPLATE:
Situation 1:
You go to a restaurant for dinner. When the waiter brings what you ordered, you realize
It shows that the cup is dirty, with lipstick marks from another person.
Situation 2:
A coworker constantly gives you their work to do. You decide
end this situation.