The Vampire School: The False Vampire

Jackie Niebisch

Archibaldo Oxford = Professor of Dracula High School

Student
Reluctantly = Student
Milk teeth
Student
Student
Student
Transylvania = Place where the events occur
How are Vampire babies born?
That day Mr. Oxford arrived in such a good mood that he didn't mind the noise they were making.
his students. That day everyone was expecting to start math classes and Mr. Oxford
I wanted to talk about a completely different topic, like how vampire babies are born.
At that moment, Sepulcreta said that the Bat was bringing them, to which all her companions...
They laughed at her and began to joke about the subject. In light of all this, Sepulcreta
He said that Archi was in love... she asked the teacher and he with a distant look.
towards the sky confirmed it.
Master Vampire Bachelor
For several years, Archibaldo Oxford published every weekend, in the
nightly diary of Transylvania in marriage announcements "Friendly Vampire, looking for"
"friendly vampire" or "I offer a little free spot in my coffin," but it hadn't worked for her.
As he was not successful, he decided to follow the advice of the high school principal to put up a notice.
more fiery.
Wild tiger, fierce and passionate, 150 years old, seeks bloodthirsty lady with
who will suck together the future. Password Until the Bite! And finally it worked for him Oxford
received a response from a vampire who wanted to marry her.
she was called Lady Victoria, who immediately accepted Oxford's dinner invitation.
Victoria was 225 years old, not counting leap years, she liked flamenco dancing, the
furniture restoration and trips to England. At that moment I was
taking an English course. She had written to Archibaldo on a very delicate paper
pink in color with blood red ink... she spoke in English phrases in between
half. Very wonderful Candlelight dinner
A Bloody Mary
While Oxford went to the dentist, the students prepared the room for the meeting.
nocturnal. Although it was against the school regulations for the little vampires to worry about
the personal matters of their teachers, but it was difficult for them not to do so since everyone
they wanted Oxford to do well in his love life. Apart from that, they knew that by
they would receive an additional point in their grades, something that was important
for Baby Teeth. That's why that day Baby Teeth became a genius of the
cleaning, neighborhood from top to bottom the castle, washed the dishes. Microbe took care of the
lighting, not much light rather a romantic atmosphere. Big guy took out to do
piss at the wolves so they wouldn't interrupt with their howls and Sepulcreta prepared the Cocktail
of the bride and groom the Bloody Mary (name of an ancient English queen) Mary the Bloody.
She took the recipe from a cookbook for lovers.
In Dentistry
Oxford had gone to the dentist to get his much-desired dentures.
had spent almost all of his savings was equivalent to having a Ferrari in his mouth like
Dr. Pulido explained to him that his prosthesis was the most seductive in Transylvania. The dentures
had many qualities, could control the bite, could elongate the fangs a
a show that many women liked. He asked the doctor for a favor, to paint him.
the tips of the fangs were red. This made her look bloodthirsty and enterprising. Dr. Pulido
He recommended leaving it to dry in a glass near the window to get the fresh air.
from the forest. Oxford would take advantage of sleeping a restorative nap to be well refreshed
for the night. Oxford wanted to take his old dentures, but Dr. Pulido told him that
She brought very bad luck, which is why people threw her as far away as possible, and that was how Oxford was.
threw it in the valley right in the middle of the river.
Polidori is unemployed
At that moment when Oxford was going home, in another room there was an unemployed person.
a professor whom no one hired anymore to give lectures and no one bought his books and
besides, no one called him to offer him the position of Minister of Anti-Vampire Defense.
constantly warned people about the dangers of vampires. The Mayor and his wife
They had told him he was crazy. He had offered his latest book to the mayor 'The Threat
from the tomb” but they had rejected it. He thought about what he could do so that the people of the
the city would take him seriously, Polidori thought incessantly lying in his coffin... so much
he thought that an idea came to him.
The Snowman
Reluctantly, he invited his friends to make a snowman, they wanted to make a
snowman that seems to be taken from a horror movie, the most horrifying
snow monkey. Sepulcreta gave the idea of where to put it. They gave it an appropriate nose,
dark and sinister eyes and two teeth as sharp as knives and as a final touch he
they placed a couple of arms with deadly claws. It looked so horrible, they just lacked
to leap at the victim's jugular and suck their blood, like they used to say, deliciously.
They decided to see if it worked.
Milk Teeth tests the effect of the snowman
They called Milk Teeth to get his opinion on the snowman, but he didn't respond.
fear, he said that it was missing the true touch of horror. Everyone started to give their opinions that
what the doll could be missing to be more horrifying. Sepulcreta finally guessed that it
They were missing teeth. They needed some teeth. But where could they get them from?
Reluctantly thinking and looking around, he saw the teeth that Oxford had.
left in the window and his companions upon seeing his look knew exactly what
I was thinking.
Fishing Prohibited
The little vampires sneaked up to the tomb where Oxford was sleeping.
He was napping and dreaming of Vicky. The little vampires quietly lowered a bait with him.
they managed to attach the new dentures with which they would give the touch of horror that
the harmless snowman was missing it.
Where are my teeth?
The first scare of the night went to Archibaldo when he started searching for his teeth.
He searched everywhere, with his jaw unhinged he shouted where are my teeth,
the voice sounded strange and her lips moved like wide-legged pants. A little
shortly after searching, a tremendous suspicion entered him that his students had something.
what to see. He called all the little vampires and showed them his all sucked mouth. He asked them
who had been responsible… to which a tremendous silence ensued in that
at that moment Oxford felt movement outside like that of someone sneaking around and
asked who is there... Asked again until he realized that he
I asked a snowman and immediately wanted to know who had built him.
We answered the little vampires with a grimace. He asked with whom.
they got coal. In the basement, Microbio replied. And the carrot? In the coffin of
the vegetables and those teeth... Oxford hadn't realized they were his teeth
new... immediately wanted to know who it had been, if they didn't speak Oxford they had...
I am punished to clean the coffins all night and to write a composition about
30 pages on the meaning of dental prosthetics.
Stolen!
When the children arrived where the snow monkey was, the teeth had
missing. The snowman looked aged. They began to analyze who could have
having stolen the teeth. This person had left them a strange mark on the cross.
Oxford sent them to search everywhere for their teeth and not to return without them.
Because if not, I would give them a punishment of 30 nights locked up.
The Skin of the Werewolf
Oxford was very depressed. He thought that all of this would lead him to be left alone. He thought
that maybe for a moment I could borrow some teeth. Oxford requested from the
Director Lester will call a meeting after they...
he will comment to his colleagues what happened, many thought about imposing harsher punishments,
how to suspend the course, expel the vampires, send the difficult children to a
reformatory. There were also other teachers who recalled that when they were
the little ones also played some tricks. Well, Oxford asked if he could ask them
a great favor to his blood brothers, if any of them could lend him their teeth,
they all refused, claiming that they had some commitment, it was then that Lester said to him
that he would put on the Wolf's Skin that had teeth and claws, Oxford had doubts about dressing up
thus, the Count told him that that faithful one had been a source of glory for many vampires and
he had also made more than one girlfriend gallop in Transylvania. Federica too.
he thought Oxford would look very sexy. Finally, that's how Oxford emerged from the tomb
from the teachers to dress up.
The Valley of the Monsters
Meanwhile, the little vampires were following the tracks left by the thief,
they began to pass through the rivers, valleys until Microbio felt a terrible fear of
the monsters and the beasts... after that Sepulcreta and Regañadientes made him
to see that they were also monsters and began to grind their teeth... then
Microbio thought that the valley was the best place in the world. After passing through the valley and
following the footsteps led them to some houses in the city center, they crossed
streets and alleys that led them to a strange tower, the footsteps did not stop but
which turned into double footprints, as if they were dragging something, passed by the pharmacy, the
Café Milano until reaching the central square where they watched a show.
surprising.
In the City Square
In the middle of the square there was a coffin. Around it gathered a crowd of onlookers.
they wanted to know what it was about. There was a note pinned: "Here rests the
calamity that Polidori has announced and that is going to end this city. That one of
whoever dares to open the coffin will be the first victim. After a moment
wondering what the coffin would contain or if, upon opening it, one could feel something beating inside.
it began to creak horrifically and after a blow the crowd recoiled pale from the
fear because at that moment a dreadful being with claws and red teeth jumped out like the
blood. He pounced on the nearest victim and began to strangle her while shouting
like crazy, he started to scream I'm going to suck your blood I'm going to suck your blood!
Some said he is a ghost, he said I am not a ghost I am the revenge of Dracula.
I am the prince of darkness, I am a vampire and running after the people, the people surrendered to the
fleeing and the streets were empty, the little vampires followed him at a safe distance,
recognizing that it was Professor Polidori, playing the vampire and with Archi's teeth.
I am going to suck your blood Auuu!!
Polidori had made a tremendous racket, unlike what vampires do
to work in secrecy (secretly). Polidori began to knock on all the doors and
when they opened up in the middle of the night he would jump on them and bite and scratch like
a wild werewolf. He pulled on Grandma Candela's bun and kicked her.
dog. The wife of Councilor Aparicio threw a skull out the window inside the
room, tore the cassock of Father Rojas and bit Julio from the pharmacy on the leg
left. Meanwhile, the little vampires followed Polidori at close range, waiting for him to
will present the opportunity to recover the denture. They said they should wait until
he would wake up to having fallen asleep and being really tired, and we took out his dentures and he...
we give a scare that they will never forget, but while they had to limit themselves to contemplate
only.
Where The Mayor
Polidori reached the Mayor's house and started banging on doors and windows shouting
Here I am, misfortune visits them... at that moment the mayor came out with his wife and
he swooped down on him with the bat wings he had made himself... roaring
I am Dracula's revenge, then he threw him to the ground and began to dance around him.
saying I am Dracula who are you? Terrified, the mayor began to call for help,
the vampires are attacking us, she screamed. She told her husband, Professor Polidori was right.
Call it quickly, but the mayor was not very convinced; he believed it was a madman.
torn from the asylum. Polidori heard this and became enraged, that my claws are not of
It's true that my teeth aren't real, you'll see, and he lunged at the mayor.
burying both fangs in the neck, as if that wasn't enough, he began to drink.
blood from the open wound, said exquisite it is blood of very good quality...
and the mayor, almost fainting (passed out), insisted that he call the professor
Polidori... call Professor Polidori, he is the only one who can help us. Then he fell.
fainted. When she heard her name and that the mayor was approaching the phone, she stepped away.
running from its victims. She ran to her house where the phone was already beginning to ring.
Hello, Polidori speaking...
After putting in his coffin and running down the stairs, he reached his desk to answer.
the phone that was ringing. He took a breath and answered hello, Draculori speaking, what did Polidracu say
I want to say Polidori... very agitated, the mayor told him that there was a vampire loose around.
there and that he had attacked his wife and had sucked her blood and that Polidori had to go
immediately to save the lives of everyone. Polidori was having a great time with what
I was listening to Dubi dubi dubi, a vampire is running loose around here Tra la la la la and he was telling the
Mayor, but Mr. Mayor, according to what you think, vampires do not exist.
As I noticed that Polidori was in a very good mood, I asked him to stop doing
jokes because they were in a very serious situation.
Tyrannus Sangrus Ex
Serious now, Polidori said, tell me where the vampire bit your wife in a
buttock or on the earlobe. To which he replied that it had been on the neck in the
jugular. Polidori told him that it was a very normal behavior in vampires. He asked him
if the teeth were short or rather large... Polidori told him that was the
behavior of a Tirannus Sangrus Ex, a species from the southern Carpathians and that is
extremely poisonous. The mayor asked him how he could help his wife and this
he indicated that the solution was in the book 'How to save mayors bitten by'
"vampires" that he had offered him last week and he did not want to buy. The mayor.
he apologized and told him that he would immediately request his work since it had immense value.
Polidori also told him that he had not attended any of his conferences, that too.
I will correct it, the mayor said, I will issue a law that obliges all citizens to.
attend his conferences. And Polidori also reminded him of the position of Minister of Defense.
Anti-Vampires. Tomorrow you will be a minister, you will have an office, a secretary, a car and
it also agreed to give a police force. That's where the little vampires started to
worry because they would give her police with garlic, pointed wooden stakes and the
they would begin to chase like wasps. Polidori gave all possible remedies to the mayor
for his wife they would have to leave her in bed with a cross above the headboard a diet
without solids but I had to drink a bottle of beet juice every day (like the
beetroot) also her bed had to be placed in such a way that it matched the first
tombstone of the cemetery... Polidori was exhausted but he had managed to get everything that
wanted. As dawn began to break, the little vampires had to go in the direction of
castle but with the full intention of returning that night to reclaim what they
reluctantly annoyed, I threw snow at Polidori's window and said, it is a
liar an impostor and all the other little vampires cursed him too he is a scoundrel
Tyrannus ladrus ex.
Dinner by Candlelight
Oxford had resigned himself to his situation, putting on a slightly tattered skin and smelling.
He had saved it but it looked manly. He was waiting for his beloved at the teachers' grave.
When Victoria arrived, she captivated him with her beauty, her eyes filled with joy. He told her how beautiful she was.
what it was and the beauty of her hair. Victoria was surprised by the outfit and the
Oxford's such polite vocabulary. She said to him, My dear Archibaldo, you seem to me very
strange Very surprising. You do not look like what was indicated in the newspaper ad.
On the contrary, he seems like a very toothless specimen. He told him that's why he had done it.
the skin of the werewolf, she asked him about his teeth. Oxford explained what happened and
she found it a very sad story, and she told him that being a teacher was a very
hard although Oxford told him that sometimes they were very kind to him. In fact, he mentioned to him
that they had prepared the cocktail. Well, drink after drink, they began to tell each other their
life since her childhood, they talked about romantic topics, like the cemeteries more
modern, love, children, marriage finally Oxford invited her to see its collection of
tombstones. He tried to kiss her but Victoria rejected him because he was different without teeth, she said
that she wanted to have babies with him but that without teeth there would be no wedding. Oxford promised.
saving up to buy a new set of dentures is how the first romantic date ended
when the first rays of sunlight appeared.
Plans in the Tomb
At that moment, the little vampires returned to get into their coffins without first
receive a chant from Néstor the supreme guardian of the sarcophagi and the bedroom.
After that, the little vampires got into their boxes and started planning how
unmasking Polidori the next day would be his opportunity, it was the Day of the Corpse.
Throw a party where all the little vampires of Transylvania don't have to go to school.
They thought about entering through Polidori's window but they couldn't as it was surrounded by heads.
of garlic and also had crosses hanging on the wall. Sepulcreta said that it needed to be given
a scare to get him to return the teeth. Other schools' vampires were told that
there would be a tremendous party at Polidori's house, a true horror party but that
It had to be a secret each one went to a different school Sepulcreta would coordinate the
operation. Reluctantly, I would go to the Drácula Polytechnic. Red wine and Milk Teeth to the
School Prince of Darkness. Big Guy to Frankenstein College and Microbe to the
Night school of the Valley of Monsters.
God helps those who wake up early
Everything was calm in the city although the doors and windows were protected with
garlic and crosses, for Polidori it was the most beautiful day of his life and he felt that people were giving it to him.
I was losing. At exactly twelve o'clock, there was a knock at his door; it was the Mayor who came to
to make effective the appointment of Minister of Anti-Vampire Defense, the mayor was coming
accompanied by a large band and a entourage of people, the entire city council, the
cure, the apothecary, the choir, the press, the TV and also the newly formed anti- police body
vampires. When he went to the bathroom to wash his face, he looked in the mirror and still had the fangs
the vampire almost died from fright, he tried to get them off but it wasn't possible, he was throwing them off
the fangs and nothing, the band kept playing and the mayor was asking why so much
delay, finally the door opened and Polidori came out half disguised, he had the face
wrapped up like a mummy and in the hand a notebook where letters had been written
he said it was impossible for him to speak and claimed to have a dislocated jaw.
I had to fight with a fierce vampire, everyone said. Everyone left satisfied.
thinking that Polidori was a great man.
Hnng! Hnng!
Polidori stood in his room, he had achieved his great dream however he felt
That unhappy man couldn't take out his dentures; the more he threw them, the more they grew.
He thought that maybe nothing was true and that if he took a nap, everything would be gone by the time he woke up.

past.
In the Window
He had fallen asleep and heard a knock on the window, he heard a howl and suddenly
A gust of wind blew open the curtain, Polidori, scared to death, jumped and shouted 'Now'
I go... but this time it was not the mayor, it was a very large group of voices telling him that
return the teeth... Polidori return our teeth, return our teeth. He threw it.
with all its strength, the lid of the coffin to the skull of the window that split it in two
then the face of a real little vampire appeared Grudgingly and then they started to
the other vampires appeared, grinding their teeth and putting on smiles
malicious ones, they threw spiders and foul earth from the cemetery at him, give us back the teeth or else
we're going to suck your blood, down to the last drop from your big toe. Polidori took the
the biggest cross I had and I ran to the window and they tore out, Polidori
he thought he had gotten rid of them while Polidori was planning what to do with them
he began to feel the howls of hundreds of vampires that were around his house,
they made such a horrendous noise that it gave him goosebumps.
A Shotgun, a Cloud of Bats, and a Terrifying Fright
The garlic was of no use to him, Polidori took his shotgun and loaded it with the nails from an old coffin.
but before they could do anything, the hundreds of vampires had turned into
a cloud of bats that were flying over his house. Polidori raised the shotgun but
Sepulcreta and Tinto lunged at him. He dropped the shotgun in fright. It was so much that
the noise that the vampires made which Vampolidori could not bear and made a very big mistake
Grande ran to call the anti-vampire police.
Anti Vampire Police
Well, the police arrived armed with giant wooden stakes, water bottles.
blessed and 20-gauge garlic pistols, also the firefighters, journalists, and the mayor arrived,
the priest and the curious ones who did not want to miss the show. But when they arrived at the
they saw no vampire but rather a group of harmless children who seemed
they wandered and asked them if they had seen the vampires. Sepulcreta answered them that
yes and Reluctantly too, the others also shouted when asked where it was
they said that inside Polidori's house. The vampire entered that house. It is a
Tyrannus ladrus ex. Thus the mayor gave the order to demolish the door.
In The Trap
With a strong push they knocked down the door, Polidori was paralyzed with fright... stop stop
you are mistaken, I am not the vampire, with his trembling finger he pointed to
Milk Teeth and Reluctantly, they are the vampires. Nothing could save him, it was him,
the same one who had attacked the mayor's wife.
Toothache
The police put him in a sarcophagus to stab him, Polidori's heart leapt.
ran at full gallop, that's why his teeth began to chatter clack clack clack, no one
I wanted to deliver the final blow, well said one of the police officers, we'll have to do it.
we and they started to grind their teeth even more, so much so that the box of
teeth fell out of his mouth and remained in the middle of the floor... chattering, he continued his race.
and ended up in the middle of the snow. Everyone was amazed it was Professor Polidori,
he was not a monster, what irony the presumed savior of the city. A journalist was
he leaned over to take a picture, the headline of the newspaper would be "Unmasked the fake vampire:"
It was Polidori!, then he took pictures of the disappointed mayor tearing up the appointment of
Polidori and the police breaking their stakes. Everyone started to look for the denture.
but no one could find her.
Back Home
With all the click and clack, the box of teeth had landed directly at the feet of
Milk Teeth, Dr. Pulido's work was damaged (mistreated) here and there.
stain and a bad smell of garlic but with a little cleaning it would look like new. There was
howls of victory, they howled happily. They agreed to throw a mega party next moon
it would be an outdoor event and they would have a band from the most famous crypt rock.
all the times The Hot Bones and the vampire group Long Live Death.
Happy End, or I Can't Believe It!
The following night, everyone attended class on time, even Sepulcreta was there.
well behaved, the children acted like exemplary little vampires. Something was happening with the
Maestro Oxford, for the first time in his life had arrived late, without a hat, without a ruler,
showing himself very dejected (discouraged). He told the children that he didn't know why the
lately everything was going wrong for him. The children tried to comfort him, you are a
beloved professor, the children made him look out the window His box of teeth was
in the snowman, and not only did the snowman have a wife but also four little dolls
snow. She was happy, her vampire blood began to flow and she immediately remembered
Victoria, fluttering, did pirouettes, somersaults, and fluttered proudly, everyone shouted
joy
Postdata
As Polidori, or Clacadori as everyone began to call him, had to face
a series of difficulties, general mockery was added, no one took him seriously again, the
People removed the garlic and crosses from doors and windows. For the little vampires came the
better times, every time somewhere in the city someone got out of bed
with two little holes in the neck, since they couldn't clarify the origin, they said that
the crazy professor bit again. Everything that was happening was Polidori's fault. But it was
transferred to an institute of crazy teachers, at least he was able to write books and give so many
conferences as he wished.
Moral
Never steal anyone's teeth!