DIRECTOROS SCRIPT

(srNGLE-STDED)
-

Book by JOHN AUGUST

Music and Lyrics by ANDREW LIPPA
(
Based on the novel by Daniel Wallace
I

(
and the Columbia Motion Picture
written by John August
(

TR
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9n9/18
EXCLUAIVELY DIATRIBUTED BY

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 Big Fish - Small Cast Edition
Characters, Musical Numbers, and Pages
Act One

Edward, Wi11, Sandra, Josephine, Young Will, Don Price,

Zacky Price, Jenny Hill, The Witch, The Mermaid, Karl the
Giant, Amos Cal1oway, Dr. Bennett, Witches, Fisherman

#l- Prologue (Underscore) 2

#2 Be The Hero (Edward, Ensembl-e ) 5

#2A Be The Hero Playoff ( Underscore ) 10

#2B Before The Swamp (Underscore) !2

#2C The Swamp (Underscore) I2
#3 I Know What You Want (The Witch, Edward,
Witches ) I7

#3C Witches Playoff (Underscore) 20

#4 Al-abama Wedding (Underscore) . LJ

#4A ,Just Take Another Look (Josephine) 21

#S Stranger (Wi11) 30

#5A The Phone CaIl (Underscore) 31

#58 After Stranger (Underscore) 32

#6 Magic In The Man (Sandra, Will, Josephine) 33

#7 Jenny Hill (Jenny Hilf) 39

#7A Edward Walks (Underscore) 47

#8 Out There On The Road (Edward, Karl, Jenny Hil1,

Townsfolk) .. . 43

#8A Will and Josephine (Underscore) 47

#8B The Tornado (Underscore) ... 4B

 #8C Calloway Circus (Underscore) 50

#9 Littl-e Lamb From Alabama (Sandra, Two Women) .....51

#10 Time Stops (Edward, Sandra) 52

#10A Alabama Tag (Underscore) ..... qA

#11 Cl-oser To Her (Edward, Amos, Circus folk) ) 57

#1,2 Daffodil-s (Edward, Sandra, Ensemble) .63

Act lfwo

Edward, WilI, Sandra, Josephine, Young Wltl, Don Price,

Zacky Price, Jenny Hitl, The Witch, The Mermaid,
KarI the Giant, Amos Calloway, Dx. Bennett, Ensembl-e

#13 Entr'Acte (Underscore) IU

#15 Fight The Dragon (Edward, Young Will).. 72

#15A Stranger-Reprise (WiIl) .. 73

#15C Pre River Between Us (Underscore) '76

#16 The River Between Us (WilI, Edward) ... 77

#L7 I Don't Need A Roof (Sandra) 81

#t.7A Jenny Hlll 2 (Underscore) 82

#18 Start Over (Edward, Don Price, Zacky Price,

Amos, Karl, Townsfolk) .. 86

#1BA Start Over-Reprise (Edward) 9L

#188 Transition To Hospital (Underscore) 93

#18C Time Stops-Repri-se ( Underscore ) 94

#19 What's Next (Wil-I, Edward, Ensemble) 96

#20 How It Ends (Edward) 101

#2I The Procession (Ensembl-e) .. 103

#23 Be The Hero-Repri-se (Will and Ensemble).. .L04

#24 Bows .105

#25 Exit Music... 105

 BTG FT SFl
Ismall cast edition]

based on the novel by DanieL Wallace

and the Columbia motion picture written by John August

book by John August

music and lyrics by Andrew Lippa

FOR PRESS
March 9, 20L5

1
n
r\
f.
(\ ACT ONE
n
(-
r- TweLve chairs srt on an enpty stage.. none
(- of them match, but together they form an
r- interesting group
n
r" The chairs incJude a STOOL. a SMALL
n STEPLADDERI a WOODEN CHAIR, a CIRCUS TUB. a
c- WHEELED DESK CHAIR. an ORNATE BLACK CHAIR, a
n ROCKING CHAIR/ a CLEAR PLASTIC CHAIR. a
f- tr{HEELCHAIR, a COMMON OFFICE CHAIR, and two
r LAWN CHAIRS...al-J of these chairs shoul-d be
sturdy. . .they' ll be used
C
('
(-
(' #T PROLOGT'E
(-
( During the ProTogue, the ENSEMBLE cJ-ears the
( chairs. . . Tights rise on a river at the front
( of the stage...reveal EDWARD BLOOM...he
( sk:ps a "stone" across the water
(
( (WILL enters, buoyant,..it's been a good
( night)
(
WILL
( Dad? Mom's looking for you.
(
( EDVSARD
( I don't know why we need rehearsal- dinners. These people have
( been eating dinner their whole lives. They don't need practice.
t.
(_ WTLL
(_ (a smiTe)
(_ Is this where you taught me to fish?
t-
(- EDVTARD
(, You caught a catfish this big.
(- (He measures three feet with his hands)
L
t, WILL
(_ It was about half that size, but thank you. And thank you for
(. cleani-ng it.
(then)
(. Dad, about tomorrow...
I

(,
l.'
2

U
U
 n
f"
(\
f\ EDVilARD
f' You're nervous.
r\
r\ hIILI,
(- I'm not.
r\
(- EDIIARD
(^ You are. You got that twitch. I recognj-ze it.
e
C TIILL
c Dad...
f-
r
(- When you were a kid, you' d
EDWARD
never jump in the pool. I'd have to
C sneak up and push ya.
(-
(- WILL
(' Yeah, that was fun for me. Actually, I wanted to talk about
( you...
(
EDWARD
(
( My favorite subject!
(
WTLL
(
So, Josephine and I would appreciate it if you didn't tel-l any
( of your stories at the wedding.
(
( EDWARD
( My storles.
(
( WTLL
( And jokes. No storiesr rro jokes. No anecdotes.
t_
t EDVIARD
(, Oh. Okay, WiII. Gotcha. Understood.
(_
t. WILL
(. Thanks.
(
ED?SARD
L
(. You used to like my stories, though...especially the one about
\- the witch.
(. WILL
I was six.
L
L,
I
\u
L,
t
3
t-,
t"
 ar
f\
(\
f\ EDWARD
f- You were never six. You were born a tiny middle-aged man.
r
(^.
(Edward has a pain in his side)
(' WTLL
(- You okay?
r
(- EDWARD
(' I'm fine. Youtre the one in trouble here. You ready to get
C. married?
(.
(' WILL
r' Iam
(-
(- EDTIARD
(- (tossing WILL a stone)
(- Then here's to what's next.
f'
(' WILL
( To what's next.
(
(EDWARD exits...WILL hol-ds a moment,
(
(
thinking back...WILL trades places with
YOUNG WILL/ who sjts on his bed...WILL
( exrts...EDWARD enlers with a traveLinq case)
(
( EDWARD
( Bvening, son.
(
( YOUNG TIILI.I
( Where were you? You missed my game.
(
(_ EDTIARD
(, How do you know I wasn't hiding in the stands? Maybe f didn't
(_ want to spook you, keep you from hittin' that home run.
(_
L YOT'NG WILL
(" We were playing soccer.
(-
(". EDWARD
t- That's barely a sport. Now, what story's it gonna be tonight?
(.
t. YOT'NG WILL
(. f already marked it. Here.
(- (He hands EDWARD a book,..it's The Iliad)
L,
\z
(,
(-,
4
1.,
U
 ED}IARD
You don't want this. These are prefabrj-cated. Predigested. Let
me tel-I you a real story...

YOI'NG IIILL
(wary)
You mean another story about you.
EDIIARD
A st.ory about life !

YOI'NG WILL
Dad--can you even read?
EDWARD
I can read just fine! Look...
(cl-earing throat,..naking a reaJ- effort)
Chapter nine: "Thus kept the Trojans watch, but the ay-KEE-uns
were holden of wondrous Panic. . ."
(checking book cover)
The hell is this book?
YOT'NG WILI.I
It's about the Trojan War.

EDVilARD
Okay. Ancient Rome and all that.
YOT'NG TSTLL
They're actually Greek.
ED}TARD
That's my point! We live in Alabama, WilI. We got stories under
every leaf and every stone.

#2 ag THE HERo

EDVTARD
WHAT IF I TOLD YOU
YOU COULD CHANGE THE WORLD W]TH .TUST ONE THOUGHT
WHAT IF I TOLD YOU
YOU COULD BE A KING
ANYTHING YOU DESIRED, BOY
ANYTHING ON A PLATE
ALL WITHIN YOUR POWER TO CREATE

5
 EDIIARD (CONT. )
I KNOW SOMEWHERE TN THE DARKNESS
THBRE' S A STORY MEANT FOR ME
WHERE I ALWAYS KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY
] KNOW SOMEWHERE SOME SURPR]S]NG END]NG
WAITS FOR ME TO TBLL IT MY OWN WAY
BE THE HERO OF YOUR STORY TF YOU CAN
BE THE CHAMPION IN THE F]GHT
NOT JUST THE MAN
DON' T DEPEND ON OTHER PEOPLE
TO PUT PAPER NEXT TO PEN
BE THB HERO OF YOUR STORY, BOy, AND THBN
YOU CAN RISE TO BE THB HERO ONCE AGAIN
Now, best part of an adventure is the people you meet.
(ReveaL THE WITCH...EDWARD greets her)

EDWARD
WHAT IF I SAID
I MET A W]TCH WHEN ] WAS VERY YOUNG
WHAT ]F T SAID
SHE SHOWED ME HOW T DIE

YOI'NG WILL
How you die?
ED}IARD
POWERLESSIN THE FACE OF ]T
TERRIFIED TN THE WOOD
THAT WAS WHERE MY LTFE WAS CHANGED FOR GOOD

(WITCH exits. . . reveaL THE GIANT. . .EDWARD

shakes his hand)
EDWARD
HBY I WHAT TF I
SA]D
I MET A G]ANT WASTING IN A CAVE
WHAT IF I CLAIMED I ROSE TO BE FAR BRAVER THAN THE BRAVE
ALL MY LIFE OF STORIES, SON/ AND EV'RY ONE IS TRUE
SO BELIEVE ME AS I'M TELLING YOU
TO BE THE HERO OF YOUR STORY WHILE YOU MAY
BE THE GUY WHO GETS THE GIRL AND SAVES THE DAY
YOU DON' T NEED A BOOK OF GREEKS
TO TEACH YOU HOW TO STAY ALIVE
BE THE HERO OF EACH STORY YOU DER]VE
THEN FOREVER YOU'RE THE HERO WHO' LL SURVIVE

6
 EDWARD (CONT. )
EVERY TALE THAT YOU INVENT
CAN BE A LIFE THAT YOU MAKE REAL
WHBRE EACH CHARACTER YOU MEET
BECOMES YOUR FR]END

(The ENSEMBLE enters, each one playing a

character we'J-L meet during the show)
EDWARD
YOU DON' T NEBD TO BE A NOVELIST
TO MAKE BELIEVE WHATIS WAIT]NG 'ROUND THE BEND

ED}IARD & AI.L

BE THE HERO OF YOUR STORY \TIL IT' S DONE
WHY GO PROMENADE WHEN YOU WERE BORN TO RUN

EDI{ARD
IF YOU UNDERSTAND THIS PREMISE
YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE

ED9ilARD & AJ.L

YOU CAN CONQUER EVERY CHALLENGE
YOU CAN FACE EACH STEPP]NG STONE
BE THE HERO OF YOUR STORY
(EDWARD spots THE MERMAID in the river)
EDWARD
WHAT IF ] SWORE
r SAW MERMAID SW]MMING IN THE MIST
A
WHAT IF I TOLD YOU
SHE WOULD BE THE FIRST GIRL THAT ] KISSED
OUT THERE IN THE WATER
FILLED WITH EAGERNESS AND FEAR
HERE IS WHAT SHE WHTSPBRED ]N MY EAR

MEN
BE THE HERO OF YOUR STORY

WOMEN
BE THE HERO OF YOUR STORY

MEN
BE THE HERO OF YOUR
MEN & WOMEN
HERO OF YOUR STORY

7
 (Quick kiss . . . as music buiJ-ds I EDWARD heJps
THE MERMAID out of the river)
EDVTARD
Something about that kiss transformed her.
(She now has 7egs...she dances)
Pretty as she was in the water, she was even more beautiful out
of it.
(She bl-ows a krss and spins out)
EDTIARD
One day, I met this fisherman...
(A FRUSTRATED FISHEAUAIV sjts on a stooJ)
FRUSTRAIED FISHERMAT{
You gottta help me ! If I don't catch a fish, ffiy family's gonna
starve !

EDWARD
The fish are sleepin'! You gotta get \em movin'.
(an idea)
Try the Alabama Stomp!

FRUSTRATED FISHERIIAIiT
The Alabama Stomp? What's that?
(EDWARD Launches into a stomping dance step)

EDVTARD
Now, let's see if I can remember the steps. Yeah, it's comin'
back. Just like ridin' a blke.
(One fish junps out of the river Tanding on
(" stage. . . it' s incredibJe)
(.
(_ EDWARD
(, Works every time ! Can't explain it.
t, (then)
(, C'mon, Will! You try it.
(- (EDWARD dances again...YOUNG WILL tries to
(- fo77ow, but gi ves up halfway through)
(.
(, EDWARD
(- Something about this rhythm really get.s their fins movin,.
\. (Another fish junps out...the FISHERMAN
(.,
catches it in his bucket)
\,,
(.,
(.,
o
Lo
L,
n
(t'
(-
('
(' EDVTARD (CONT. )
f' (to FISHERMAN)
f' C'mon, pilgrim. Let's see what you got.
(' (The FISHERMAN joins EDWARD in the AJ-abama
f' Stonp)
(" Not bad. You're gettin' it ! This guy's a natural- !
("
(They finish the step, but this timer r7o
fish junp out)
YOUNG IIILL
Dad...cou1dn't you just give him some money?
EDWARD
(to YOUNG WILL)
See WiIl, give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach a man
to fish, you feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man the Al-abama
Stomp, you feed his soul !

(to the OTHERS)

C'mon! Everybody! We gotta help this guy.
(Music buil-ds as more and more peopJe join
in...watery sounds as the river begins to
churn...music buil-dsr as does a rumbJ-e...
suddenly fish fJy everywhere...as they
ceJebrate, the ENSEMBLE gathers up the fish)
EDWARD
I KNOW SOMEWHERE IN THE FUTURE
THEREIS ADVENTURE MADE FOR ME
FILLED WITH MYSTERY AND PEOPLE I CAN LOVE
I KNOW OUT THERE ON THE ROAD OF LIFE
]ILL LIVE THE STORY I'VE BEEN DREAMING OF
MEN E WOMEN
LIVE THE STORY I/VE BEEN DREAM]NG OF

AI.L
BE THE HBRO EVERY TIME YOU GET THE CHANCE
IF THE MUS]C STOPS CONTINUE WITH THE DANCE
EDTilARD
ON A WING OR ON A PRAYBR
YOU GET THERE ONLY W]TH YOUR VOICE

9
 AI.L
BE ATTENTIVE
BE INVENTIVE
BE THE FIRST ONE TO REJOICE
WITH A STORY IN YOUR HEART
YOU WON'T NEED ANY OTHER CHOICE
YOU' RE A HERO, FIGHTING DRAGONS, WTNNTNG WARS
BE THE HERO AND THE WORLD WTLL SOON BE YOURS

#2e gs rHE HERo (PLAYoTE')

(The ENSEMBLE exits)

YOT'NG WTLL
What the hell was that?
EDIIARD
It was a miracle, Will! C'mon.

YOI'NG WTLL
It doesn't seem plausible.
ED?TARD
will. ..

YOT'bIG WILL
Dad, why do you tell so many crazy stories?
EDWARD
(momentariJy stumped)
It's who I am. Why does the sun shine?

YOT'NG WILL
Because of fusion.
EDVilARD
Lord, Wi11. It was a rhetorical question.
SAtiIDRA
(offstaqe)
Edward !

EDVilARD
(to Young Will)
Quick! Where/s that book?

10
 SA}IDRA
(offstage)
Why is the light still on?

YOI'NG VilILL
Now you're in troubl-e.
(SANDRA enters)
SA}IDRA
Edward Bloom! It's nine o'clock on a school night. Let this boy
s1eep.

ED}TARD
I was just finishing this chapter on...
(random page from book)
Ag-UR-men-non. Why can't anyone have a normal name like Chuck?

YOUNG I,iNLI.I
Mom, can you really get fish to jump out of a river by doing the
Alabama Stomp?

SATIDRA
I suppose anything' s possi-ble.
(a Look to EDWARD)
For example, f've heard legend of a brave and handsome man who
happily fixed the leaky sink in the bat.hroom the very first time
hls wife asked without excuses or delay.
EDWARD
(to YOUNG WILL)
That there's a myth. Except for the brave and handsome part.
SAIiIDRA
( sni Le)
Lights out, both of you.

EDIVARD
You heard your Mom.

(YOUNG WILL gets into bed. . . SANDRA

exits...just as EDWARD is about to exit...)
YOI'NG WILL
Dad?

11
 (.
r\
(\
c EDWARD
n Son.
n
(' YOT'NG WILL
(- Did you really meet a witch?
(.
c EDWARD
c (knows he's hooked hin)
o r did. But now, see...your Mom says f can't tell you that story.
11 You'll- get nightmares.
(-
C YOUNG TIILL
r' I'm not scared!
(-
(- EDWARD
(-. Neither was I. . . at first.
(EDWARD sneaks back)
C
('
EDTSARD
(_
Now, it/s a well-establlshed fact that most Southern towns of a
( certain size have a witch.
(
( YOI'NG ?[ILL
( Do we have a witch?
(
( EDITARD
( No, , but we got two Dairy Queensr so we' re still comin' out
( ahead.
(
( #28 BEFORE THE SWAMP
(
( Now, small--town witches mostly keep to the minor incantations,
( love spells, whatnot. But of all the witches in Alabama, there
\ was one who was the most renowned, for she could see the future.
(_
(, YOUNG IIILL
(- And she told you the future?
(-r
(. EDVIARD
(- She showed me That night in the swamp, three of us went looking
!

(, for her--just three teenage boys on a dare. I didn't know she

( would change my life forever.
(,
(.
t, #2C IHE SWAI{P
(_,

L
L
lt I2
(,
(-,
U
n
r\
(\
n A TitJ.e Card: [ffE IIITCH]
(- (EDWARD changes into a teenagie version of
o himsel-f ...we are now in...THE SWAMP...
c "Teenage" DON PRICE and his JittJ-e brother
(-' ZACKY PRICE enter downstage right with
e fJashJights... swamp noises and crows...
(- EDWARD joins them...YOUNG WILL watches...
(-t ZACKY suddenJy squeals and squirms as if
(1 possessed)
n,
c, DON PRICE
(- Shhh! Quiet, Zacky!
ZACKY PRICE
I gotta bug in my drawers !

(tries to shake it out)

{-
Help me, Don!
f' DON PRICE
(
(
I ain't gettin' near your drawers.
( ZACKY PRICE
( Oh oh oh it's on the move !
( (He grabs at his seat, Tike a dog chasing
( its tail)
(
( ED}IARD
( Use your flashlight! It'11 go towards lhe 1iqht.
(
( (ZACKY shoves his flashJight down his
(- crotch)
(
(_' DON PRTCE
(- Not that way!
(.
(_ EDVIARD

L You want it to move down to your feet I

L (ZACKY srts on the ground, sticking the

(,
L fTashJight up his pant leg)
(.
ZACKY PRICE
t, It's workj-ng !
(, (wriggJing)
t_. ft's out !

t, (DON stomps the bug)

t.,
L,
L
(,
13
U
U
 f\
c
f\
R DON PRICE
r\ C'mon, let's find that witch.
r\,
o (DON and EDWARD head off...ZACKY picks up
c the carcass af the insect, then throws it in
(\, the river)
(-
c ZACKY PRICE
c (reafizing he's aTone)
f\\, Wait for me !

c (he chases after them...as the BOYS exit,

('
c the WITCHES enter, and f iJ-l the stage with a
C rhythnic dance...when the THREE BOYS re-
C enter, the instantly wrap
DANCING WITCHES
(- themseJ-vesin their capes and become trees
(- in the forest)
('
EDTilARD
(_
( We're walkin' in circles, Don
(
DON PRICE
( (getting in his face)
( You wanna 1ead, go ahead, Bloom. I don't think there even is a
( witch.
(
( (suddenly, the WITCHES swirJ apart and
( reveaJ- THE WITCH, a backwoods sorceress/
C standing atop her bJ-ack chair)
(
( WITCH
( Boys, you have broken a sacred circle. You better have a good
( reason.
(,
(" ZACKY PRICE
( (tiqht squeal)
(_
DON PRICE
t-
(. We wanted our fortunes read.
L WITCH
L I can tell you the future with uncanny accuracy. Your loves,
t_ your l-1ves, your deaths. Doll-ar apiece.
(.
(,_.
(DON hands over his doJ-Jar)
(-
f"
L
L
t- 1-4
U
U
 ZACKY PRICE
(checking his pockets)
Can I borrow a doll-ar? I'1I pay you back.

WITCH
No he won't.

ZACKY PRICE
(awed)
She knows !

DON PRICE
(to WITCH)
C'mon. Tel-l- me my future.
IIITCH
You asked for it.
(re crystaT ball)
Oh. Yes. The future is quite clear.
DON PRICE
What do you see? Do I get quarterback?
WITCH
You l-ead an unexceptional life, fi1Ied with minor triumphs and
major disappointments.
(beat)
And then you die.
DON PRICE
What? That's it,? !

WITCH
That's all- the spirits see for you.
DON PRICE
I want to know how rich I'm going to be.
WITCH
A dollar poorer than when you started.
(to EDWARD)
Now, as for you...
(EDWARD is surprised to be singled out)

15
 f\
(\
f\
r\ DON PRICE
n I want my money back!
r\ (he grabs the crystal
r
(-
baJJ_)

ZACKY PRICE
f1 Don, don't! She'11 hex you.
o
c EDTIARD
o Give it back.
n
c DON PRICE
f' How 'bout f smash it?
f' (to the WITCH)
r. How you gonna do fortunes without your crystal ball?
(-
EDVIARD
C
(- I said give it back.
('
(' DON PRICE
('
Or what? You think you can take me, Bloom?
(EDWARD reaches into his pocket and digs out
( a bill)
(
(
( Here's your money back. Now n"TJT over
(
( DON PRICE
( (handing it over)
( Witch-l-over.
(
( ZACKY PRTCE
( (weakJy imitating)
(. Witch-1over.
(.
(. (ZACKY and DON exit)
(-
EDY{ARD
t. (handing crystaL balf)
(-
L Here you go.
("goodnight" )
t. Ma'am.
{".
(",
WITCH
(_.
(. Don't you want your fortune?
(r
L
L,
\,
(-,
L6
U
U
(-
 ED$IARD
Let me guess. . . f lead a "disappointing life and then f die. "

#S I KNO}I wHAT you vTA}IT

WITCH
Everyone dies, Edward Bloom.
(he turns)
But your death is glorious.
(re crystal- ball)
Let me show you.
EDWARD
Why would I want to see how I die?
WITCH
WHAT' S YOUR CONCERN
ARE YOU SCARED OF HEARTNG ONE TH]NG NEW
WHEN YOU COULD LEARN
SOMETHING SECRET THAT COULD HELP YOU THROUGH
IN ONE GOOD TURN
r CAN SHOW YOU COUNTERFEIT FROM TRUE
LIFE BEGINS WHEN YOU KNOW HOW IT ENDS
And yours is no ordinary l-ife.
YOU BECOME IMPORTANT
YOU'RE THE BRAVEST MAN AROUND
YOU' RE THE KIND WTTH VIRTUE
ALWAYS FINDING COMMON GROUND
YOU CLIMB EACH HILL IN FRONT OF YOU
WITHOUT A SUFFERTN/ SOUND
COMPASSIONATE AND WARM
THE CALM IN ANY STORM

OTTIER WITCHES
SO, TAKE A CHANCE

WrTCH
LET ME SHOW YOU HOW YOUR DAYS UNFOLD

OTHER WITCHES
AND IN ADVANCE

I1
 WITCH
YOU AND ME CAN PLAY THE HAND YOU HOLD

OTHER WITCHES
NOW JOIN THE DANCE

WITCH
VfHEN YOU GAMBLE THEN YOU GET THE GOLD

OTHER TIITCHES
LIFE BEGINS WHEN YOU KNOW HOW IT ENDS

VIITCH
DON'T BELIEVE THE FAIRY TALES
THAT SAY L]FE IS A BREEZE
EVIRY MAN MUST FACE A TRIAL
THAT BRINGS HTM TO HIS KNEES
BUT LET ME SHARE A MAGIC TRUTH
A PROOF OF ALL THAT THRIVES
THE ONES WHO FACE THEIR FEARS
LEAD THE MOST INTERESTING L]VES

OTHER WTTCHES
INTERESTING LIVES
INTERESTING LIVES
INTEREST]NG L]VES
INTERESTING LIVES
(Dance Sequence)

WITCTI
SO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT

EDTIARD
I WANT A BIG LIFE
WITCH
AND TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE

EDWARD
I SEE A ROAD

WITCH
AND TELL ME WHERB 1T GOES

EDWARD
IN ONE D]RECTION

18
 }TITCH OTHER WITCHES
SO, DON/T YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT'S NEXT ooH, ooH
WHAT' S WAITTNG IN THE VO]D ooH, ooH
YOU MAY BE DISAPPO]NTED ooH
BUT YOU MAY BE OVERJOYED

(the WITCH hoJ-dsout the crystal baf f . . .

EDWARD peers in...Lights shift...spooky, but
aLso gJorious, . . itl s what EDWARD wiLl see at
the end of the pJay...as the moment ends,
YOUNG WILL appears)

YOUNG WILL
What did she show you?
EDWARD
The last moments of my life.
YOUNG IVILL
What were they? What did you see?
EDIVARD
Surprise ending. Wouldn't want to ruin it for you.
(Leading YOUNG WILL)
Though you were there. Your mother too...but I didn,t know her
yet. She was just a girl with red hair.
}IITCH
You're gonna find that girl. But it won't be easy.
(the WITCH meets EDWARD center stage)
WITCH
SO

ALL WITCHES
DONIT BE SAD
DONIT BE SCARED
BE ALERT
BE PREPARED
TAKE A BREATH
TAKE IT SLOW
LET UNCERTAINTY GO

(the WITCHES cover EDWARD/ who disappears)

I9
 ALL IITTCHES (CONtr. ]
WHEN YOU KNOW
(RevealEDWARDT now transformed into his
older seLf...he readies a skipping stone)
AJ..L WITCHES

HOW ]T ENDS YOU BEGIN

OTHER WITCHES
WHBN YOU TRY

WITCH
YOU CAN FLY

ATL WITCHES
FLY

#3A wlfcH PIAYoFF

(as the WITCHES exit, reveal grownup WILL in

a tuxedo...he trades places with YOUNG
WILL...we are near the banks of a river...
sunlight and Lrees.,.EDWARD is skipping more
stones)
WIIJL
Dad, seriously, you need to get dressed. The wedding's in forty-
five minutes.
EDWARD
(re skipping stones)
See that? f almost got seven. Seven's good luck.
(J-ooks over)
You'll need luck, what with that baby coming.
WILL
(trying to pJay it cooT)
What are you talking about?
EDITARD
(watching WILL. . .a smiTe)
Josephine's pregnant.
WILL
How do you. . . ?

20
 t\
(\
('
(\ ED?ilARD
r\ (re WILLl s face)
(\ 'Cuz you just told me, just now. See, back when I worked at the
f' circus, I developed a knack for reading expressions. . . useful
f' with l-ions. Plus she didn't drink at the rehearsal dinner.
r\
(\ WILL
(- Okay, Dad, nobody knows she's pregnant. You can't tel1 Mom
('
C\ ED}TARD
(- Why not?
('
f' WILL
it's super earl-y. Statistically,
(- Because there's a good chance
(- 1t could not happen so...
(-
(- EDVilARD

(- Statistically.
c TIILL
(
Yes.
(
( EDTSARD
(
You--an Alabama boy--meet an American girl all the way over in
( Baghdad. What are the odds of that, statistically?
(
( WTLL
( We're both reporters so it's not that remarkabl-e.
(.
( ED9ilARD
( Lord, Will. I would hate to see the rainbows in your world. Bet
( they're aIl shades of gray.
(-
(_ WTLL
(. It's just., the baby, I don't. want to jinx it.
(,
t (EDWARD tosses another stone we hear it
( skip across the water)
t, EDVilARD
(
t- (re stone)
Relax, WiIl. That's seven. Everything's gonna be fine
L
(.-
I
WrLL
I
Promj-se me you won't say anything. And what we talked about
\z earlier--no storJ-es, no toasts.
\,
L,
{.
{_,
(..,
2I
L,
U
 n
f1
(\
(\ EDWARD
n Ct mon. When have I ever embarrassed you?
(. (off lr(ILLt s reaction)
f\ Flne. I'm not good around orchestras. But I really thought I
(\ coul-d pfay that vlol-in. ft doesn'L l-ook that hard.
r-'
o (SANDRA enters, wearing a beautifuJ- dress)
o
r. SATiTDRA
o Honey, get dressed.
(-
o EDTIARD
C Witl was holding me up! Look at you. Give me a kiss.
('
(' SAT.{IDRA
(- I just did my face. Go put on clothes.
(-
( (as EDWARD exits, he spots a MAN carrying a
( viol-in case)
(
EDVTARD
(
( Oh, hey! Is that a violin? Let me see that.
( SAT{DRA
( (to WILL)
( Are you nervous?
(
( WILL
( No. Yes. Mom, about Dad...I know you can't control him...
(
( SA}IDR.A
( f could just as easily control- the weather.
(
(_ WILL
(_. Dad is like the weather. I can predict him, sort of, but I
(_ fundamentally don't understand him. I don't. get him. He's this
(. baffling hurricane.
(
(- SA}IDRA
(, If re going to worry about anyone, worry about your poor
you/
t, mother. Abandoning me for a woman on television.
t. WILL
t. You love Josephine.
(.
(,
(.,
t,
(..
L-,
22
L,
(*,
 n
r\
(\
(\
SAI{DRA
r\ I do. We turn on the cable news sometimes just to watch her.
(' She's smart and pretty and kind. But you're my little Alabama
o lamb, all the way up there in New York.
(\ (then)
o You want to practice one more time?
e
C. ?TILL
n Absolutely.
n (takes her hand...they do a box step)
(-
o #4 Er.aeAI'{A TIEDDING
('
o Forward, together, side, together. Back, together.
(-
(- SATiIDRA
(- Not out loud, WilI
(
(- WTLL
( Right.
(
( SAI{DRA
( Better ! That's it.
( (liqht shifts as WEDDING DANCERS sweep
( in...setting for the dinner after the
( ceremony, set at the water's edge...WILL
( begins dancing with his new bride,
JOSEPHINE...heT wedding gown js stunning)
t
(
(watching with mock dismay, EDWARD hands off
(
his drink...he's had a few)
(
(
EDTIARD
(_ Son, let me help you out there.
( cuts in, sweeping JOSEPHINE off her
(EDWARD
(_ feet. . .he's quite the dancer. . .as they
(. finish...)
(, See, Will! That's how you do it.
t. (WILL checks that JOSEPHINE is okay...she
L is...they greet the crowd)
t_
("". WILL
(, Thank you al-l- so much for coming. Josephine and f are
\,
I unbelievably grateful to have so many friends here to help us
t- celebrate.
t.
(,,
t.
(.,
(. z3
L.
U
 t\
(\
f\
(\
iIOSEPHINE
(\ For people who don't know, this 1s actually where Will proposed
(- to me. One year dgo, right here on the banks of this river. I
r
(\
had just met Edward and Sandra, and I knew--f knew--that I
wanted to be part of this family.
r\ (they k:.ss . . . some coos)
o
(- WILL
f\ So before we get to dinner, we have a couple of things to...
n'
(- (EDWARD interrupts)
f-
(\ EDTIARD
o Yes, good evenin' ! My name is Edward Bloom. On behalf of me and
(' my wlfe Sandra--she's the gorgeous one right there--it isa
(- pleasure to welcome y'a11 t.o Alabama !

(- (noticing V{ILL/ s objection)

(- Will told me I was not aIlowed to give a toast. You' l-I notice
a there is no glass in my hand.
(
( WILL
( Technicality.
(
EDTTARD
(
(
Technicality, he says ! WilI thinks I talk too much--but I would
have loved to have a talkative father. My own Daddy, he was a
(
farmer. Lucky to get four words outta him. But one day--one day
( I heard him out in the field, just blathering at length. Said he
( couldn/ t get a word in between me and my mother, but the corn--
( the corn was all ears.
( (the CROWD Jaughs...some groans)
(
(. EDWARD
(_ (to WAITER)
( Oh, hey, back up here.
(. (he snaqs a gTass of champagne)
(
(. EDWARD
(- On the topic of fatherhood, I have an announcement.
L
t. TIILL
(- (panicked)
(, Dad !

\,
L
L"
\.,,
(,
t, .A
(, LA

L"
 fq
f\
f'
(\
EDI'IARD
(' After careful consideration, I have decided to become a
c grandfather.
(\
(' (the GUESTS react, surprised but not
(-' unhappy)
f}'
n Now, I'm sworn to secrecy, but I'm tol-d my ambition may be
c fulfilled sooner than I dared hope.
fr
(-, (A siTent beat...al-L eyes on WILL and
(.. JOSEPHINE. . .a Took between them. . .fina7Ly,
c JOSEPHINE makes the save)
(-
(= JOSEPHINE
f' Okay. Okay. It's time to catch the bouquet. Ladies, foIlow me.
(-
(- (JOSEPHINE J-eads the as they
WaMEN
( exit...WILL joins HIS MOTHER/ expJaining and
(- apologizing, sotto. . .EDWARD approaches)
(
( EDWARD
( C'mon, Wil-l. ft's good news!
(
WTLL
( (noving downstage)
(
It/ s too early. A thousand things could go wrong
(
( EDIVARD
( They won't ! Why are you such a pessimist?
t
( WILL
(. f'm a real-ist, Dad. And yes, it's good news. But it's our news.
(. Why do you have to make everything about you?
(.
(. EDWARD
(- I'm excited! I got carried away.
{,
(- TIILL
f- You always get carried away. I'm sick of it.
(-
EDVIARD
L I'm sick of treating me like a child! What kind of
you
L" son
(. doesn't 1et his father give a toast at his wedding?
(,
U
lo
(,,
(,
lt 25
(,n
v
o
r\
r\
n WTLL
o (overlapping)
n The son whose father does this.
c\
o EDWARD
c Grow up, Will
n
o WTLL
o I did! You weren't there. You were never there.
o
C. (SANDRA tries to intervene)
n
C SA}IDRA
() Calm down.
(-,
C EDIIARD
C
I was building a business !

fr
(- WILL
( You were running away.
(
EDWARD
(
(
From what, from you?
(' WILL
( From reality. A11 T got from you is a bunch of crazy stories
( about how awesome you are and I'm sorry, Dad, that's not the man
( I see.
(
( EDVIARD
(, Maybe you never bothered lookin'.
(
t- SA}IDRA
(- Stop it! Both of you. Before you say something you can't take
(- back.
t WILL
(-
t" f'm done.
(_,
L So am I.
EDWARD

L (WILL exjts. . . SAA/DRA foJlows hin)

L
("
SA}IDRA
L, wi11. .
(.
U
t,
U
L,
zo
U
U
 n
r\
n
n (after a beat, EDWARD adjusts hinself...
c another pain in hzs ^sLde...DOCTOR BENNETT
(- approaches)
(\
n DR. BENNETT
n You alright?
n
(. EDVSARD
n That boy is bull-headed. f don't know where he gets it.
o
r. DR. BENNETT
c Askin' about you.
r\ (re his side)
() What's going on there?
EDTIARD
Put your stethoscope away, Doc. I'm fine.
(-
( DR. BENNETT
(" How long's this been goi-ng on?
(-,
( EDWARD
( I dunno. A while. It's nothlnq.
(
( DR. BENNETT
(,
You lost weight.
L EDIIARD
( Exercise! Whatr lou didn't see me dancing? Irm fine.
(
(.' DR. BENNETT
(_, r'm sure you are. But come in Monday, and we,r-l be doubly-sure
(
t.
t_ #4A .rt'ST TAI(E AI|IOTHER I,OOK
(
t. STAGE SHIFTS
(. DOCTORS' OFFICES
L
L (aDOCTOR performs an uJ_trasound on
(- JOSEPHINE...hoI^ding her hand, WILL staresin
t- frustration at a screen...somewhere in there
L-, r.s a fetus)
(_,
(_.,

L,
(,
L,
t,
l/ 21
(,
 n
n
(\
(\
.'OSEPHTNE
n JUST TAKE ANOTHER LOOK
o
e wr[[
c. I'm trying!
r)
o TOSEPHINE
o IT'S JUST OFF TO THE R]GHT
c
c TITLL
o My right or its right?
n
c .'OSEPHTNE
f- A LITTLE BIT OF PATIENCE, W]LL
C (to the DOCTOR)
C NOW HOLD IT STILL
(' AND THERE, VOILA
(- WITH LIGHT
(-
( WTLL
( A penis! It's a boy!
(
iIOSEPHINE
(
Yes !
(
(
WILL
(
We're having a son.
t (Lights rise on another part of the stage,
(
where DR. BENNETT enters, followed by EDWARD
( and SANDRA...DR. BENNETT reviews Lab
(, results )
(
t.. ED}TARD
( If j-t's bad news, just telI me.
(.
(, DR BEN}IETT
t_ It's not what we want to see.
t
L SAIIDRA
t- The tumor didn't shrink?
t-
L DR. BENNEIT
t, No. It's spread beyond where we thought.
(,
SA}IDRA
t. But that doesn't mean...
L
L
t
L
a 28
U
v
 EDYilARD
\Course it doesntt honey. I just have ambitious cancer is all.
Right, Doc?

DR. BENNETT
Exactly.
SA}IDRA
We'l-l- keep going though, right? Or try somethi-ng new.
DR. BENNETT
There's a conversation to have about whatts next.
(SANDRA starts to tear up... seeLngr this,
EDWARD takes her hand.

EDIilARD
Now, Sandra
SATiIDRA
f need to call WiIl. We never should have kept this from him.
EDWARD
Fine. But you needn't worry him.
(SANDRA exits)
DR. BEAINETT
Will doesn't know about any of this?
EDVTARD
He's got his own life up in New York. No sense bothering him.
(Lights shift back to WILL and JOSEPHINE)

T,VILL
(re her beTly)
This is really happening.
dIOSEPHINE
(pJayfuJ)
You thought I was making it up?

TIILL
No.

29
 .'OSEPHINE
I'11 get dressed.
WILL
Meet you outside.
(JOSEPHINE gets up...one Jast thought)
JOSEPHINE
WilI...we're going to have a son.
TTTLL
I know!

#S STRAI{GER
WILt
(al-one for a moment)
A son.
STRANGER
],M FEELING STRANGER THAN I'VE EVER FELT BEFORE
AND SO MUCH MORE

DIFFERBNT
LIKB SOMETHING OLD HAS JOINED WITH SOMETHING NEW
BUT STILL FEELS TRUE

]'M PASSING THROUGH A RITE THAT EV'RY PARENT DOES

I'M WALKING ON SOME SHARED FAMILIAR GROUND
YET EV' RY STEP ] TAKE IS NOT A STEP THAT WAS
AND ]'VE FOUND
] L]KE THE SOUND
OF STRANGER

A CHILD I'VE YET TO MEET BECOMES MY EVERYTHING

MY SONG TO SING
FATHER
AND SUDDENLY THE WEIGHT OF IT ]S REAL
WHAT DO I FEEL
I FEBL CONNECTED IN A WAY T'VE NEVER KNOWN
A LINE FROM DAD TO ME TO NEWBORN SON
SO FROM TODAY I'LL NEVER MAKE A CHOICE ALONE
ONE FOR ALL
ALL FOR ONE

30
 TIrLL (CONT. )
AND WHEN HE' S BORN
I'LL TEACH H]M HOW TO USE HIS COMMON SENSE
HEILL LISTEN AND HE'LL LEARN AND HE'LL EXCEL
f'LL TELL MY SON
THAT L]FE IS LIVED IN CLEAR AND PRESENT TENSE
NOT ONLY IN THE STOR]ES WE CAN TELL

MY FATHER TOLD ME STORIES

I COULD NEVER COMPREHEND
IN EV/RY TALE HE'D CLAIM TO BE THE HERO
r,VE TRIED TO UNDBRSTAND HIM
BUT I
WONDER IF I CAN
BECAUSE AFTER ALMOST THIRTY YEARS
I ST]LL DON'T KNOW THE MAN
I WISH I KNEW THE MAN
BUT HE'S A STRANGER
MY FATHER IS A STRANGER I KNOW VERY WELL
A PUZZLING SHELL
HOPEFUL
WHAT' S ON ITS WAY MAY HELP US BOTH TO GROW
BUT I DON'T KNOW
I DON'T KNOW WHEN I'LL UNDERSTAND WHAT MADE HIM W]LD
I DON'T KNOW WHY HE HAS THE URGE TO FLY
I WANT TO FACE HIM LTKE A MAN AND NOT A CHILD
SO I'LL TRY
I'LL REALLY TRY
AND IN TIME, MY BOY IS SURE TO SEE
BRIGHTER DAYS FOR DAD AND ME
WE CAN DO TH]NGS BETTER THAN BEFORE
SO THAT STRANGERS WE WILL BE NO MORE

(WILL's phone rings...he checks the number

and answers)

#5A THE PHONE CALL

WILL
Mom! I was just about to call you. What's...what's wrong? Mom?
(hearing the news)
I'm coming home. We'l-1 be on the next flight.

31
 n
n
r\
R (WILL exjts as we segue to
(. BACKYARD. . . NIGHT )
(^

rc #5B AFTER STR]A}IGER

r'
n SAI{DRA
n (to offstage WILL)
o I wanted to tell you right away, but your father didn't want
c anyone to know he was sick. How dare anyone think Edward Bloom
n is mortal.
(.
c (WILL enters with the J-awn chairs.,.he and
(- SAIVDRAset them up, wiping of f the dust)
(-
C' SA}IDRA
(- The treatment was a longshot. But your father was convinced it
(- would work.
c
a WILL
( What does Dr. Bennett say?
(
( SA}IDRA
(, He says comforting things. But we all know where this is headed.
(
( WILL
( I'm so sorry, Mom. I want to do something. How can I help?
(
SA}IDRA
( I'm just glad you know. Family shouldn't have secrets.
(,
( $ruLL
(_ Mom, have you and Dad talked about money?
t-
(_ SAT,{IDR.A
(. We have plenty of money
L
t TITLL
(- Is the house paid off?
L
(. SA}IDRA
(-, Years ago. The day we sent in the last check, we had champagne.
L Your father opened it with a sword.
t, (demonstrates )
(" There was glass in the carpet for weeks.
(,
(-,
Ir
L,
(-, 32
U
 n
r\
(\
(\ WILL
o Mom, you won't mind if I look for the mortgage? The insurance...
r' (off her reaction)
c f'm worried about you, about what's going to happen. We have to
(' keep a roof over your head.
R
n SAIIDRA
r\ I am not worried about the house. f'm not worri-ed about me--f'm
o worried about you.
r\
n WILL
(- f'm fine, Mom. I'11 be fine; you don't...
(^'
(- SA}IDRA
(- Oh, "Itm fine." You sound like your father.
('
t- #6 ueerc rN THE MAtiI
('
(- SAT{IDRA
(' IS HE DIFFICULT
( ONE COULD ARGUB
THERB' S A CHALLENGE IN EVERY DAY
f IF YOU TH]NK I DON' T UNDERSTAND HIM
(
( GIVE A LISTEN TO WHAT T SAY
(
( SOMETIMES HE' S L]KB A TANK FULL OF LAUGHING GAS
SOMETIMES HE' S LIKE A PA]N IN THE ASS
(
BUT THERE IS MAGIC IN THE MAN
(
FOOL]SH MAGIC IN THE MAN
(, AND YOU, NO DOUBT
( ARE NOT ABOUT TO BREAK THE SPELL
( WHEN THERE ]S MAGIC IN A MAN
t PAY ATTENTION IF YOU CAN
( AND MAYBE YOU W]LL DO JUST HALF AS WELL
(
(. WILL
( He never met Gandhi. He didn't invent the microwave.
(
t. SA}IDRA
t, SOMETIMES HE BENDS THE TRUTH W]TH A WRECKING BALL
(_ SOMETIMES HE'S BORED WITH FOLKS WHO THINK SMALL
L I CALL IT MAGIC IN THE MAN
L,, ALL THB WAYS HE' S BETTER THAN
(. BUT ALL YOU SBE IS HIM AND ME W]TH MILES TO GO
(.. IF YOU SAW MAGIC IN THE MAN
(, RATHER THAN A BATTLE PLAN
YOU MIGHT BE GLAD THAT HE' S THE DAD YOU KNOW
t.
(-,
t,
33
L,
w
L,,
 (EDWARD and JOSEPHINE enter. . . she' s
Taughing)

A TITLE CARD: ITHE GIRL IN THE }TATERI

EDTIARD
(to JOSEPHINE)
I was always a good swimmer--people said f was born for the
water. Plus f had a hell-uva t,eacher.
(a BEAUTIFUL WOMAN sits in a river...a taiJ-
lifts up...she's a MERMAID)
Only way to lift the spell...was with a klss.
(EDWARD gives the MERMAID a krss, and
suddenTy she has Jegs. . . she dances
off ...JOSEPHIIVB js charmed)
TIILL
WHO CAN LTVE IN A FANTASY
AND NEVER SEE WHAT' S REAL

SAI{DRJA
fT,S A FANTASY I CAN SEE
SO THAT' S ITS REAL APPEAL

!WLL
IT' S MERELY ENTERTAINMENT ON A NON_STOP FLIGHT

(as EDWARD continues a story, sotto,

JOSEPHINE J-ooks over)

WILL,
SAIiIDRA & ,TOSEPHINE
WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE THAT YOU'RE SO RIGHT

SA}IDRA WILL
THERE IS MAGIC HE' S A MAN WITH A
TN TASTE FOR
THE MAN GRANDEUR
FOOLISH MAGIC WHY ALLOW HIM TO
IN THE MAN IMPROV]SE
GIVE HIM ONLY A
AND YOU, NO MOMENT
DOUBT ARE NOT ABOUT TO AND "JER" SURE HE SHARED
BREAK THE SPELL IN A NO_
-BEL PR]ZE

34
n
r\
(\
(\
n SATIDRA
r\ NO, THERE IS MAGIC IN THE MAN
n MADD'NING MAGIC IN THE MAN
c BUT r WORRY, SON
(1 THAT HE'S BEGUN TO FALL APART
r\ WITHOUT THE MAGIC AND THE MAN
o I'M RIGHT BACK WHERE I BEGAN
o A FRTGHTENED G]RL WITH JUST A BROKEN HEART
{a SO, EVBN TF IT'S QUICK
c, PLEASE LEARN ONE LITTLE TRICK
c AND TRY TO MAKE THE MAGIC START
('
(- (SANDRA steers WILL towards EDWARD)
r1
(- TIILL
(' So, Dad. Maybe I coul-d mow the lawn. How tall do you like it?
(
(-' EDWARD
( (offended)
( This tal-l-. I can mow my own grass, Will.
( (to JOSEPHINE)
( People needn't worry so much. It's not my time yet. This is not
how I go.
(
( 9TILL
( Right. The Witch.
(
(_
.'OSEPHINE
( The Witch?
(-
t WTLL
( There was a woman in the swamp who told him how he died.
(
(- EDWARD
(, She showed me how I go, and this is not it.
(-
(. iIOSEPHINE
(. So how does it happen?
L
EDTIARD
L,
L"
Surprise ending...wouldn't want to ruin it for ya.
(.,
(to WILL)
(.,
And you! WeIl, forget t.he life you know, because having a kid
changes everything. I mean, there's the diapers and the burping
L, and the midnight feedings. . .
t,
(r

t.
(-, 35
\-,
 WILL
(to SANDRA)
Did he do any of that?
EDWARD
No, but I hear it's terrible. Just awful.
SAhIDRA
(checking her watch)
We1I, I should probably get dinner started.
ED}ilARD & }TILL
I can help.
SATiIDRA
No, no. You stay out here and tal-k.
(SANDRA and EDWARD fuss, but he rel-ents...
SAiVDRA exits)

EDWARD
Oh hey, you come sit with me.
(EDWARD and JOSEPHINE sit in the Lawn
chairs)
9TILL
So Dad, I can probably get the pump working if you wanLed to
swim.

EDIIARD
Don't put yourself out.
WILL
ft's fine.
EDWARD
You know where the chemicals are?
$rILL
I used to do j-t when you were gone, remember?

EDVilARD
(prickJy)
I was a traveling sal-esman, Wil-l. I couldnf t exactly stay at
home.

36
f\
f\
f\
(\ WILL
n I wasn't trying to pick a fight.
n
n JOSEPHINE
C Oh! Here. You can feel him kick.
f\
n (JOSEPHINE puts EDWARDT s hand on her
o beJJy. . .he smifes)
n
o EDVTARD
r\ He's strong! When is he coming?
c
(' iTOSEPHTNE
c Twenty-two weeks. So. . .
(\
(\' WTLL
(- Five months.
(',
(' EDWARD
( Five months. Wel-l-. You'll- tell him about me Only the good
( stuff.
( TOSEPHINE
( Of course.
(
( (a crack in his faqade...his nortality
(
suddenly feeLs very real-...WILL and
( JOSEPHINE both cJ-ock this)
(
( WI[L
( Yeah, Dad, I'd really love to know more about the real versions
(- of events, stories, you. Maybe we can go over some things while
(_ Itm here.
L-
t. EDTUARD
(- You mean whll-e I'm here.
(-
(. (an awkward moment)
(-
iIOSEPHINE
L So, I want to know the full- history. Now, f know you grew up in
L Al-abama, but was it here in Montgomery?
t,
L ED?IARD
t., Not too far away. A tiny little place called Ashton. Our town
L was so small our phone book was the Yellow Page.
L
(.,
t,
L 37
(,
t,
(-
 n
f\
(\
(\
EDTIARD (CONT. )
f\ (topping it)
r\ Our town was so small the zrp code was a fraction.
o (topping it)
r. Our town was so smal-l we only had three jokes.
(\ (he stands)
(1 But I'l-1 tell you--the best thing about growing up in a smal-l
o town like Ashton--a boy with ambitlon can be a pretty big deal.
n
o (to the beat of high schooJ marching music,
(. DON PRICE enters with pack of other JOCKS...
c DON is pissed off, as he Ls during most
r. waking moments)
c
(- DON PRICE
(- Edward B]oom!
(-
(" EDVIARD
(' Don Price !

t (EDWARD wal-ks over to hin, reverting to his

(
( high school- seJ-f)
(
DON PRTCE
( People say you're going for quarterback.
(
(, EDTIARD
( I am.
(
( DON PRICE
( That's my spot. Mine!
(
( EDVIARD
(_ Then you should have it.
(,
t. DON PRICE
t. (suspicious)
(, What do you mean?
t,
(- EDWARD
( Just that. I am giving you quarterback.
L.
DON PRTCE
t. You can't ! It' s not yours to give
(, !

(,,
L,
(_.,

(."
t. 3B
L,
(,,
L
 EDWARD
Then I guess I'll have to win it first.
DON PRICE
Don't try to outsmart me.

EDWARD
Trust me, Don, f'm not trying that hard.
(EVERYONE freezes...spotJight on JBIV Iy HILL/
the prettiest cheerJ-eader in Ashton)
JENNY HfLL
Edward Bloom!

#I .'ENNY HILL

iTENNY HILL (CONT. )

HE/S THE MAN I TREASURE
HE'S THB MAN I'LL WED
THOUGH HE DOBSN' T KNOW IT YET
HE'LL BE WITH ME UNTIL WE'RE DEAD
JENNY HILL NO MORE WILL BE MY NAME
AND I'VE HANDSOME EDWARD BLOOM TO BLAMB

(EVERYONE unfreezes)
iIE}INY HILL
Edward Bloom, do you love me like f love you?
ED}TARD
Of course not.
dIENNY HILL
You don/ t?

EDIVARD
I've heard you say how you l-ove my broad shoulders, my strong
arms, the stubble on my chin. These woul-d be very unattractive
on a girl like you.
JENNY HILL
Stop.

39
 t\
f\
(\
(\
EDIIARD
r\ I dare say I love you in a completely different way than you
n Iove me.
n
(' iIENNY HILL
r. (meLting)
o Nothing will ever come between us.
o
(- (a chaste krss. a CROWD of
. . suddenfy,
o TOWNSFOLK pushes through...the town's MAYOR
f'- tries to control- the growing MOB)
(-
c I4AYOR
o Now, calm down. Calm down!
('
(- SCHOOLTEACHER
(- Mayor, there is a giant livlng in them hills.
(
(- SITARECROPPER
a f seen him! He's ten feet taIl, with crazy eyes of fire!
(
( LTTTLE GIRL WITH ORJA}IGE CAT
( He might eat my cat !

( HOT.BLOODED SHOTGUN TOTER

(
If you ain't gonna stop him Mayor, we will !
(
( ldAYOR
( f won't have mob violence in this town. Not without a permit.
(,
( DON PRICE
( (holding up basebaJl bat)
t. I got your permj-t right here ! We gotta smash that giant before
(. he smashes us.
(
(. cRolfD
t, (various)
(, Yeah ! /Absolutely ! /He's right ! /Uh-huh !

(
t- DON PRTCE
(- Alright ! We need torches and pitchforks.
t. EDWARD
(-,
(" Wait, wait ! Has someone tried talking to this giant?
(,
(n
(,
(,
t, 40
(,
L,
U
 n
(\
(\
(\ BARBER
f\ You can't reason with 'im!
r\
ft SHEPHERD
(\ He's a monster !

n
o EDVilARD
n I'l-l do it! I'l-I tal-k to him. See if I can get him to move on.
o
(- DON PRICE
fl Edward Bl-oom.
r'
f- ED9TARD
f\ Don Price.
(-
(- DON PRICE
(- You wanna sweet-talk a giant, go ahead, Bloom. It's your
( funeral.
('
(- EDTTARD

( That's just it, Don. The Witch showed me how my life ends. It
( don't happen like this. Bye, Jenny!
(
(
( #7A EDT'IARD IIALKS (T'NDERSCOR,E)

(
JENNY HILL
(
(
(to anyone who wil-J- listen)
He loves me. That's my boyfriend.
(
( (as EDWARD wal-ks, the town and TOWNSFOLK
( recede, bringinq us into...)
(.
(_
(. A CAVE
(.. A TITLE CARD: ITHE GIANTI
( (it's quite dark...EDWARD squints to see as
(. he moves downstage...the cave echoes, with
(, wet dripping sounds)
(-
t, EDWARD
(_. Hel-lo? Hello ! My name is Edward Bloom, and I want to talk to
{., you !

(. (a deep rumbling voicel seeminq to come from

L, aJl around)
\,
(",
l-,
{.,
(, 4I
L"
U
 n
(\
(\
(' THE GTANT
(' (offstage)
r. Go away!
(\
c EDIIARD
n I wiII not! Not until you show yoursel-f .
('
(\ (BOOM. . .BOOM. . .BOOM. . .EDWARD shakes from the
n rumbl-e...maybe this was a bad idea...KARL
(. THE GIANT enters from upstage, wal-king right
n up behind EDWARD. . . EDWARD J-ooks up to see
r' KARL towering over hin)
C
(', EDWARD
(- That's better.
(',
(- KARL
(- Get out of my cave !

('
EDWARD
C,
( No.
(
KARL
(
( I just want to be alone.
(, (KARL moves downstage)
(
(, EDWARD
( Bullcrap. You are alone, so you're only pretendin' it's what you
(, want. Under those dead animals and death threats, f see a guy
( who might need a friend.
(
t KARL
(.r You don't know me.
(,
(_ EDVIARD
(" Sure f do !

(-
t, (EDWARD pu77s over a smaLJ stepJadder so he
(-, can tal-k to KARL face-to-face)
\,
1,, See, up 'til- now I've been the biggest thing in Ashton. But you
L showin' up is a reminder there's something bigger out there.
t, This town is too small for Vou, and it's too smal-l for a man of
my ambition.
t,,
\.,
\u
Lt Aa
(,r 1*.
L

U
 KARL
So go.

EDIIARD
Come with me.
(smeJJing KARL)
When was the last time you l-eft this cave?

KARL
I'm agoraphobic.
ED$IARD
I don't know what that means, but you gotta get outside.
KARL
There's nothing for me out there.
EDWARD
Giant, quite literal-ly everything is out there.
#8 OUT THERE ON THE ROAD

EDIIARD
YOU CAN PINE YOUR LIFE AVilAY
WISHIN' THINGS WERE BETTER
WAITIN' HERE FOR JUDGEMENT DAY
WHILE KNITTIN' YOU A SWEATER
BUT I BELIEVE THAT KIND OF LIFE
WON' T SET YOUR SPIRIT FREE
SO MY FRIEND, ONE SMALL SUGGEST]ON
WHERE YOU OUGHTTA BE

YOU CAN TAKE A JOURNEY

THROUGH THIS COUNTRY' S FLESH AND BLOOD
ON A RIDE PAST COUNTRYSIDE
AND MISSISSIPPI MUD
HIT THE STREET WITH TWO BIG FEET
TO BEAR YOUR HEAVY LOAD
AND LIVE LIFE OUT THERE ON THB ROAD

ANYONE YOU WANNA BE AND ANYTHING YOU SAY

COME TOMORROW YOU'LL BE FREE
OF WHO YOU ARE TODAY
ACTION AND ADVENTURE
WHEN YOU CHANGE YOUR FIXED ABODB
GO LIVE LIFE OUT THERE ON THE ROAD

43
 t\
(\
f1
r1 (EDWARD qets the GIANT to dance a few steps)
n
rr\ EDWARD (CONT. )
WOULDN'T YOU RATHER BE
c\ LTKE ROYALTY
c RESPECTED LIKE A KING
o WHERE IT' S ALL CIVILIZED
c YOU' D BE SURPRISED
n THE SONG YOU'LL HEAR 'EM SING
o PEOPLE'LL GREET YOU THERE
o SOME WANNA SHARE
c ENTHUSTASTIC NEWS
o AND ALL YOU NEED ]S GUARANTEED
o WITH ONE BIG PATR OF SHOES
C ONE BIG PA]R OF SHOES
(-'
(-r Vflhat's your name, giant?
('
(- KARI,
(' Karl.
(
EDWARD
(
(
Listen, Karl. The world is huge !

(
KARL
( One hundred and ninet.y-seven million square miles.
( Approximately.
(
( ED}TARD
( Say, yout re good with numbers.
(
(. KARL
(. Only big ones.
(,_

(- EDWARD
(. Well-, naturally! Now c'mon! Let's get out of this cave!
(.
(- DONIT YOU WANNA
t. STEP OUTSIDE
LOOK AROUND
L SEE WHAT' S WAITING THERE
t. !

L (EDWARD l-eads the way out of the cave...KARL

(,
(, squints in the sunl-ight)
L"
L
L,
L
1,,
I 44
U
 fr
n
f\
n EDI'IARD (CONT. )
n WE WERE BORN TO WAKE EACH MORN
a. SOME PLACE WE'VE NEVER BEEN
(\, CHECKIN' OUT THE LOCALS
n AS THEY WATCH US CHECKIN' TN
r\ EV/RY NEW BNCOUNTER
(^ ]N ANOTHER NEW ZIP CODE
n WE' LL FIND IT OUT THBRE
c
n (the TOWNSFOLK arrive with pitchforks and
o rifLes )
r,
c TOI{titSFOIJK
C THAT' S HIM, R]GHT THERE
f-
EDVilARD
C
(- WA]T! HE'S NOT A MONSTER
HE' S A TH]NKER
{
(' HE' S A WHIZ
(
THIS BOY ISN'T HALF AS BAD
( AS YOU ALL THINK HE IS
(
(' Karl-, tell 'em a joke.
(
KARL
( What do you get when you cross a hj-ppo, an el-ephant, and a
( rhino?
( (beat)
(.
Helephino !
(
( (TOWNSFOLK Jaugh)
(
(. EDWARD
t, I'VE BEEN SO ]NSPIRED
(, I'VE DECIDED WE'RE A PA]R
(_
(- EDWARD AilTD KARL
(_ WE' RE HEADING OUT THERE ON THE ROAD
L
L, DON PRICE
Yes
t. !

t, ;IENNY HTLL
t, You're leaving? Now?
\, I

t,
I
\-.
(.
t"
v 45
U
U
U
 ED$IARD
Jenny, I can't i-magine any place better than Ashton. But if I
don't see the world, I'l-1 never know.
JENNY HILL
EDWARD BLOOM
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU'RE LEAVING US FOR GOOD

EDWARD
JENNY, YES I'M LEAVTNG
BUT "FOR GOOD" I NEVER COULD
rLL BE BACK SOME DAY
iTENNY
AND I'LL BE WAITING WHILE YOU'RE GONE
(a chaste k:ss between JENNY and EDWARD)

TOTII{SFOLK
\TIL THEN/ BE HAPPY ON THE ROAD

EDYIARD
C'mon, Karl! Let's show 'em our traveling step!
(demonstrates, to the CROWD)
Every road trip needs a traveling step.
(EDWARD and KARL teach the town their
traveLing step..,soon EVERYONE joins in the
dancing cel-ebration)
}[AYOR
Edward Bloom, first son of Ashton, take with you this Key to the
City, and know our doors will always be open to you.
(The MAYOR gives EDWARD a giant key)

EDWARD
I swear on my name f '11 never forget Asht,on.
I'11 come back, I promise.
SUDDENLY, I'M THE KING
WHO HOLDS THE KEY
BUT EV' RYBODY SECRETLY
IS DYING TO BE MORE AND MORE LIKE WHO

KARL
Like you?

46
 n
n
r\
rl AT.L BUT KARL
n
o LIKE YOU
f'
c EDIiTARD, KARL & ALL
n I CAN SEE AMBRICA
o DEPENDABLE AND TRUE
n OPEN SKY AND PASSERSBY
n CONGRATULATING YOU
o FIND THE OPEN HIGHWAY
o AND YOU/VE H]T THE MOTHER LODE
c' GO CRAZY
(-
C EDWARD&KARL&MEN
C OUT THERE ON THE
(-
('
( EDWARD, KARI & AL,L
(- HAPPY
( UU'T' ']'HURI.J ON ']'HE
(' FINALLY OUT THERE
(
iIENNY
(
PROMISE YOU'LL RETURN TO US
(
( EDIIARD, KARL & ALL
( ON THE ROAD
(
( (The CITIZENS of Ashton march EDWARD and
( KARL out of town)
(
( TOT{NSFOI.K
(.
L ON THE ROAD
("
t.
(- #8A WILL A}ID JOSEPHINE
t (WILL roJ-fs in a stack of fiJe
L
L boxes,..JOSEPHINE catches up with him,
t. carrying a giant key)
L
t, .'OSEPHINE
t- Will ! Look what I found.
v
L
L,
(",
L,
(, 47
 o
r\
(\
r\ WILL
(\ What is that?
(1
f\ iIOSEPHINE
n It's the key to the city ! From when he was a teenager. He l-eft
n Ashton in search of adventure.
o
n WILL
o Oh, God. He got to you, didn't he? He seduced you.
o
r. JOSEPHINE
o Do you know how your mother and father met?
n
c WILL
They met in col1ege. Wait--which story did he tell you? There
o are at least seven versions of how he met my mother.
()
('
iIOSEPHINE
f-r
C
This was romantic.
{- WILL
(
( They're all romantic. My father is romantic. Was the giant in
(' ir?
(\ iTOSEPHINE
(' Yes ! Karl.
( (Reveal- KARL and EDWARD...after a beat, they
(_r go dark)
(
( WILL
(r So, Karl the Giant. Supposedly my Dad's best friend, but f never
( met him. There's no photor ho evidence he actually existed. f'm
( worried my father is going to...
(.r (not saying "die")
(" ...be gone and I'11 never know what was true.
(.
t. JOSEPHINE
L But does it reaIly matter what was true? Your father is telling
t. these stories for a reason. If you understand the stories,
t- you'11 understand the man.
(beat)
L How many stories are there?
L
t.
t.
Lt
U
t.
l"t
(."
(- 48
w
(--,
(\
r\
(a
r\ WILL
n I don't know. f've never counted.
n
(\
rr\ i'OSEPHINE
You should! You should make a list.
c WILL
n I do l-ove making lists. Okay. Let's do it. Chronologically, it
o starts with the Witch. She teaches him, what, not to fear death?
n Then he meets the mermaid.
f.
(. iTOSEPHINE
r, She teaches him about love. How l-ove transforms a person.
('
C $rutL
(- I thought she taught him how to swim.
(-
(- JOSEPHINE
(- You never listen.
(
( WILL
( So my father l-eaves Ashton with Karl the Giant. They have a
( series of wacky misadventures that roughly approximate the
twel-ve labors of Hercules--
(
(
i'OSEPHINE
( What about the tornado--
L
( WILL
( Fine, the tornado.
(
(
(_
(, #8s rHu TORNADO
(.
(,
t. (He swirLs his hand...as he does, TOWNSFOLK
L bfow across the stage)
(.
(.
L A TITLE CARD: [THE TORNADOI
(..
(, (EDWARD and KARL exit as a cat ffies across
(. stage with howl-)
(-
WILL
t, It's not j-mportant.
lr.,

Ir
U
(-, 49
\,
 f\
r\
f\
(\
JOSEPHTNE
(. Itt s incredibly important ! Your father was headed for the Biq
(\ City.
c (suddenly teary)
n But then fate--fate pushes him towards l_ove.
(]
e, wrLt
n You have a lot of hormones in your body right now.
o (she nods, a bit overcome)
c. Fine--the Winds of Destiny bring him to the Calloway Circus.
c\
o
(' #8C CA:LLOVTAY CIRCUS
o
(- THE CALLOWAY CIRCUS
(' (On a pJatform outside the bigtop, a
(\ JUGGLING ACT finishes :ts set. ..AMOS
(-' CALLOWAY arrives center-rinq)
f'
( AD{OS
( Yes, l-adies and gentlemen. Any one of these acts could join the
( Calloway Circus !

{ (a JUGGLER's bal-f faLJs at his feet)

(
( Except you! Cfmere.
(
(JUGGLER approaches)
L If I was lookin' for a Miscel-laneous Object Dropper, yourd be at
(
(
the top of my list. But I'm not. Next up #73...
(checking cJipboard)
( ...the Alabama Lambs.
( (TEENAGE SAIVDRA rushes forward with her TftO
( FRIENDS...they' re dressed in the traditional_
( garb of some undiscovered European country)
(_
(. SA}IDRA
(- That's us ! We're the Alabama Lambs !
(-
t. (WILL and JOSEPHINE take a seat to watch)
t",
t. At[os
t, (recognizes her, disapproving)
(,, Miss Templeton I Does your daddy know you're here?
(,
SAT{IDRA
L He knows I'm with my two best friends.
t.
(r
L
L,
U s0
w
 n
n
r\
f\
c AMOS
Tell me, your father--is he still- a smalltown sheriff with
n unmedicated rage issues?
o
r SAIIDRA
C. That's Dad!
a
n A!40S
n Best you get along home and breathe not a word of thls folly.
(-
f\ SA}IDRA
o Wait, Mr. Cal1oway, f am supposed to be here, I know it.
C
o AMOS
(- And r know r don'L want to be hangin' on your Daddy's wall llke
(' this.
(' (terrif ied animal_ expression. . .checking
(- cTipboard)
C Next uP, #7 4. .. Zaximus the Zensational !

('
( SA}IDRA
(
Haven't you ever had a dream, a hope, a wj-sh! Please, Mr
(
Calloway! Just let us try!
(
Atdos
( Fine. Let's hear it.
(
(SANDRA cues the music...their dance is
( exuberant, goofy, and dirtier than they
(.
meant it to be)
(.
(
(- #9 LITTLE LAIUB FRoM AI,ABjAT{A
(.
L SAI{DRA C TWO WOMEN
(. SHIM_SHAM
(. yM A LITTLE LAMB FROM ALABAMA
(_ FLIM-FLAM
L ilM A LITTLE LAMB FROM ALABAMA
(. WA]TTN/ TO BE FED
(- HOP]N' TO BE LBD
t- BY A LITTLE SHEPHERD BOY FROM
L,
t, GIRL ONE
(, M-I-S-S
\:
I

t.
Ir
\,,
(,
(_, 51
Lv
(-,
 GIRL TWO
I-S_S-I
SA}IDRA
P-P
(the TWO GIRLS gasp)

SA}IDRA & TWO WOMEN

I
WHAM! BAMI
LIKE A L]TTLE LAMB FROM ALABAMA
HOT DAMN
WHO'S A LITTLE LAMB FROM ALABAMA?
I'M A L]TTLE MISS
PRAYTN' FOR A KrSS (KrSS) (BLOW)
JUST A LITTLE LAMB FROM ALABAMA

(They dance...as they do, EDWARD arrives at

the edge of the crowd)
sAr{DRA & TWO WOMEN (CONT. )

JUST A LITTLE LAMB FROM ALABAMA

(As EDWARD spots SANDRA/ everything slows to
a fraction of normal speed. ..he is
compJetely entranced)

#10 TIME STOPS

ED}TARD
TIME STOPS
WHEN SUDDENLY YOU SEE HER
TIME STOPS
AND WHAT YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW CHANGES
AND LIFE BEYOND THIS MOMENT
]S BETTER
BIGGER

TIME STOPS
BUT STTLL YOUR HBART IS BEATING
T]ME STOPS
THOUGH YOU DON/ T TAKE A BREATH
SHE' S THERE

52
 EDWARD (CONT. )
AND ALL YOU'VE EVER WANTBD
IS NEARER
CLEARER

I USED TO THINK THE WORLD WAS SMALL

NOW I DON'T THINK THAT WAY AT ALL
TIME STOPS
WHEN DREAMS COME TRUE BEFORE YOU
TIME STOPS
WHEN FANTASY IS REAL
I KNEW
THIS MOMENT WAS EXPECTED
BUT THIS GOOD
WHO COULD

(SANDRA spots EDWARD...she Joses her place

in the routine)
SA}IDRA
THAT BOY ]S STARING
ANDIFEELACHILL
I DON' T KNOW WHY
THAT BOY ]S STARTNG
AND THE WORLD IS STILL
NOT TUMBLING BY
THERE' S NO ONE TALKING
BUT T CAN HEAR A THOUSAND VOICES
WHAT/ S GOING ON INS]DE ME

THAT BOY ]S STARING

IS IT ME HE SEES
r CAN/ T BE SURE
IF HE IS STARING
SHOULD ] TRY TO PLEASE
OR BE DEMURE
MY HAND IS TREMBLING
BUT ]N TH]S MOMENT NOTHING SCARES MB
WHAT' S GOING ON

(everything freezes as SANDRA and EDWARD

s7ow7y approach each other)

EDTIARD
I USED TO SEE WHAT LIES AHEAD

53
 SATiTDRA
] THOUGHT MY LIFE MIGHT BE A BORE

EDWARD
NOW I JUST SEE THTS GIRL ]NSTEAD

SAI{DRA
COULD BE 1 BOUND FOR SOMETHING MORE

EDIIARD
TIME STOPS
EDWARD & SA}IDRA

AND TROUBLES ARE ABANDONED

TIME STOPS
THE MINUTE HEISHE ARRTVES
I'VE SEEN THE FUTURE IN THIS ]NSTANT
SUBVERSIVE
SUBLIME
]' D LTVE FOREVER IN THIS MOMENT
]F I COULD STOP
(face to face. . . )
EDI'IARD
STOP
(but never touching. ..)
TIME

SA}IDRA
THAT BOY IS STARING
ANDIFEELACH]LL
I DON'T KNOW WHY

(SANDRA rejoins the DANCERS...as the moment

concl-udes, SANDRA snaps back to
reaLity, . .time resumes nornally)

#TOE AI,ABAMA TAG

AMOS
Ladies, f 'll tel-l you: That was terrifj-c. But no one wants to
see that in a circus. Teach those steps to an elephant, and then
you'd have something. People want to see things beyond their
imagination ! Bigger than life ! People want. . .
(stops, pointinq)
You !

54
 n
r\
(\
f\ (KARL THE GIANT enters behind EDWARD)
f\
n EDWARD
o Hey, buddy
e
n (panic as EVERYONE fJ-ees from THE
ro GIANT...SANDRA/s FRIENDS puJJ- her away)
n ED}TARD
c (chasing her offstage)
n Wait ! Wait !

n (WILL and JOSEPHINE exit past KARL)

n
(. WILT
(' (re KARL)
f- ft's not plausible.
(^
( .'OSEPHINE
(' It's romantic!
('
( eMos
( int roducing
( hinse l_ f )
( Amos calloway. what's your name, Giant? You got a name? Doesn't
( matt.er. More exotic if you don't.
(
KARL
( It's KarI.
(
( Aldos
( That works. say, Karl, have you ever considered a career in the
( world of entertainment? More importantly, have you ever heard of
t(. this term--wait, what is it?--um--'tunconscionable contract?,,
(_ KARL
(, It's an agreement in which one party grossly misrepresents facts
t- in order to take advantage of the other party/ s perceived
(" ignorance.
t-
t, AMOS
L We11. That's a thorough definition.
(-
(, KARL
t".
r want thirty percent off the top and all the food r can eat.
(,
AMOS
L Ten percent.
t

Ir
(,
(-
(" s5
t,
(-
 o
(\
(1
(\
KARI,
f\ Twenty--and I won't do nudity.
r\
f\ AMOS
(' No one's asking!
n
(- KARL
(\ Done.
r\
n (EDWARD returns, defeated)
o
c KARL
C Edward. What's wrong?
o
f,' EDVIARD
(- Karl, I just saw the woman I'm going to marry. I know it. But
(- then r lost her.
C
(- AMOS
(- Heartbreaking! Most men gotta get married before they lose their
( wives. But good news! I'm gonna make your friend here a star.
(
EDVTARD
(
( That's great.. rleast one of us should be happy.
(
A!,TOS
(
Jesus, kid. This girl--real pretty? Bl-ue dress? Red hair?
L
( EDWARD
( (grabs AMOS)
( Who is she? Where does she live?
(
(. (AI4OS snarJ-s, then catches hinseJ-f )
(,
t.
(- Kld--don't waste your time. r ,Ho,^in.r daddy. Shef s out of your
t. league.
(-
t, EDTIARD
L What do you mean? You don't even know me.
t,
(_. AMOS

\. Lemme guess--you were the Hero of Hickville, a big fish in a

(, smaIl pond.
(nore)
tr
I

Ir
1,,
(,
(, 56
L,
 AI'{OS (CONT. )
This here is the ocean/ and you're drowning. Take my advice and
go back to Puddleville. You'll be happy there.
ED}TARD
Look, I may not have much, but I have more determination than
any man you're ever going to meet. f'm gonna flnd that woman and
marry her and spend the rest of my l-ife with her.
AMOS
Go write your Harlequin Romance somewhere ei-se. I got a circus
to run.

#11 CLOSER TO HER

EDTIARD
IF YOU TELL ME WHO SHE IS
I'LL WORK NIGHT AND DAY
AND YOU WON'T EVEN HAVE TO PAY ME

AMOS
(dinq ! )
Okay.
ONCE A MONTH
]F YOU WORK
IF YOU SLAVE
IF YOU CRY FOR ME
THEN I'LL G]VE YOU A CLUE

ONCE A MONTH
IF YOU CLEAN
IF YOU HAUL
IF YOU DIE FOR ME
THEN THE CLUE WILL BE TRUE

ONCE A MONTH
IT COULD BB WHAT SHE THINKS
WHAT SHE LIKES
WHERE SHE LIVES
WHAT SHE DRINKS
WHAT SHE HOPES
AND ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PULL THE ROPES

(CIRCUS WORKERS rehearse,..AMOS gives EDWARD

his first chore)

51
o
n
o
n AMOS
f\ CLOSER TO HER
n I'LL GET YOU CLOSER TO HER
o YOU ONLY NEED TO BE
o MY DEVOTEE BECAUSE
o I'LL TELL YOU WHERE SHE WAS BORN
o OR IF SHE PLAYS THE FRENCH HORN
o THEN YOU'LL BE CLOSER THAN YOU EVER WAS
o
o First clue: She likes dancing.
c
n EDWARD
(- Dancing !

o (EDWARD dances with a dream vision of

c SANDRA)
c'
(^: AI{OS
BACK TO WORK
fr
(
(' CIRCUS FOLK
( CLOSER TO HER
YOU' RE ONE STEP CLOSER TO HER
(
( EDWARD
( I'M NOT AFRA]D TO STOOP
(' TO SCOOPING POOP BECAUSB
(
(- CIRCUS FOLK
( HE' LL STOOP FOR POOP
(
( A!40S
( YOU'LL LEARN WHAT PERFUME SHE WEARS
(., OR WHAT SHE SAYS IN HER PRAYERS
fr
t. EDWARD
(, AND BE MUCH CLOSER THAN I EVER WAS
(._
(- is the target of a KNIFE
(EDWARD
(. THROWER...he barely survives with his
L manhood intact)
L
ED}TARD
L Mr. Ca1loway, it's time.
(.
Lo
AMOS
U For what?
L,
l)
t"
(*,
(/ 58
(/
 EDIIARD
My clue! About the girl I'm gonna marry.
AMOS
If you got a cl-ue, you wouldn't get married at al-l.
(to the CIRCUS FOLK)
Back to work
ED}TARD E CTRCUS FOLK
DAYS INTO WEEKS INTO MONTHS INTO YEARS
INTO CLUE AFTER CLUE AFTER CLUE

Atdos
She likes blue
(DREAII SA]VDRA passes with a bl-ue scarf )
EDWARD C CIRCUS FOLK
SEASONS GO BY IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE
BUT THE DREAM DOESN' T SEEM TO COME TRUE

Atdos
Barbecue

(DREAM SANDRA eats barbecue as she passes)

ED}TARD
YEAR AFTER YBAR
WITH THE HOPE I WOULD HEAR
SOMETHING KIND
SOMETH]NG FRESH
SOMETHING NEW
(finding AMOS)
Mr. Ca11oway, it's been three years !

AMOS
Kid! There's other fish in the sea!
EDWARD
But I/m al-ready hooked. Why do you insist keeping her name
secret ?

AMOS
SECRETS ARB THE BACKBONE OF SOC]ETY
EV'RYBODY OUGHT TO HAVE A FEW

59
 AI4OS (CONT. )
I BELIEVE IN SECRBTS
AND T'-LL KEEP MINE FOR A WHILE
THEY KEEP ME A SUCCESS
THBY MAKE YOU WORK FOR LESS

But f'm a man of my word. Your gj-rI--she's going to college.

EDY{ARD
College !

EDWARD CTRCUS FOLK

CLOSER TO HER
ONE TEXTBOOK CLOSER TO HER
CLOSER TO HER

(DREAM SANDRA passes with a book)

BUT I'VE BUT YOU'VE
BEEN WORKING HARD BEEN WORKING HARD
AND T]ME IS FLYING AND TIME IS FLYING
BY CLOSER TO HER

EDIVARD
I'VE PArD HIS PRICE, r SHOULD GO
STILL THERE' S ONE THING I DON'T KNOW
(a howl. . .EDWARD reveal-s. ..)

EDYTARD
Mr Calloway?
(...a furry, cJ-awed AMOS)

AI{OS
This is. . . difficult to explain.
EDVIARD
You're a werewolf.
A[40S
Or maybe not so difficult.
EDIIARD
Mr. Calloway, this is your secret? You don't have to be ashamed
of being a werewolf.

60
 f\
n
n
n AI{OS
n Real1y?
n
n EDIIARD
c Heck no! Just be yourself and be happy.
n
c (EDWARD scratches AMOS's head)
(\.
n AMOS
o I like your kid, How about a bonus cl-ue? Daffodils!
e
(' EDI'IARD
n Daffodils ?

c AMOS
C
C Her favorite flower--those yel1ow ones. Real pretty.
(-
ED}TARD
C
(-l
Mr. Calloway, let me give her those daffodils ! Tell me who she
f is!
(
(
(a chord of canscience)
( aI40s
( Hell. Her name is Sandra Templeton. She goes to Auburn
( University.
(
(- EDSIARD
(" Thank you, Mr. Calloway. Thank you!
(
( (EDWARD drops a baLf from his box...AIIOS
t chases it offstage)
(
L AMOS
(" My ball ! My ball ! My batl !

(,
t.
t, EDIIARD
(- (finding KARL)
L Karl, how far away is Auburn University?
L KARI
L.
(- Seven hundred and sixty-three miles
Ir EDVilARD
L Then I'm gonna need your help.
L
t
Ir
(,
U 6I
U
(-,
 F
n
(\
o KARL
n Fel-l-as, bring it out!
r\
f' (WORKERS wheeL out a massive circus
f' cannon...EDWARD takes the hefmet)
r.
o CIRCUS FOLK
n LIKE A CANNON BALL
n SOON TO BE A HUMAN COMET ABOVE
c L]KE A CANNON BALL
C\ CIRCLING A CONSTELLATION OF LOVE
ro FILLING UP THE HEAVENS
MAKING WATERS PART
(l AIMING STRAIGHT FOR HIS BELOVED' S WELCOMING HEART
f'
(' (EDWARD cJinbs into the cannon. . downstage,
C WILL looks through a fil-e box.. JOSEPHINE
(- enters with a red fife)
a
( JOSEPHINE
( Will. Who is Jenny Hill? I know that name.
(
( WILL
(
She was my Dad's high school girlfriend. "The prettiest,
b1ondest girl in Ashton."
( (re foTder)
( What is that?
(-
( JOSEPHINE
( (wary)
( ft's a mortgage for a house in Ashton. Your father co-signed a
(, Ioan with "Jenny HiIl."
(
t. WILL
t She's real? This doesn't make sense. Why wou1d my father buy a
(. house with another woman?
t(, (He looks up...a new thought)
(,.
L CIRCUS I'OLK
BOOM
t- !

(.
(, (EDWARD is shot out of the cannon...WILL and
t- JOSEPHINE exit... CIRCUS FOLK track EDWARD.s
progress across the heavens)
L"
t,
t,
(".
t-
(- 62
(",
(/
 t\
n
f\
o CIRCUS FOLK
n CLOSER ]T' S TRUE
n THERE'S NOT MUCH MORE HE CAN DO
c THE YEARS GONE BY W]LL SEEM A K]ND OF DREAMY BLUR
(- AND WHEN AT AUBURN HE LANDS
n HE' LL DO WHAT FORTUNE DEMANDS
c WHEN FIN'LY CLOSER THAN CLOSER TO
(.
n (A body faJ-J-s from the sky, Tanding at
c Auburn University)
(-.
a EDIIARD
o (offstage)
o Oof !

r' (EDWARD stands up, dusting himseJf off ...he

a carries a bouquet of yeLl-ow daffodil-s,..he
(-
C
searches for SANDRA)
('
( EDWARD
(
(various)
( Sandra! Sandra Templeton? Hi, sorry. My mistake.
(
( tinalTy)
(
(
( #12 DAFFODII.S
(-
EDWARD (CONT. )
(
(
Sandra ! Sandra Templeton !

(_
(
(SANDRA sLts in front of sorority house.
(. SATiIDRA
L (not recognizing)
(.. Yes ?
(-
(. EDhTARD
L You don't know me, but my name is Edward Bloom and I am in love
(., wlth you. I've spent the last three years working to find out
t- who you are but it's al-l worth it to see you here, now, and to
L finally get to talk to you.
t-
t, f'm sorry...
SAIIIDRA
(.
L,
L
(,
I,
L 63
L,
\,,
(-.
 EDI'IARD
Don't need to apologize to me. I mean, I'm the luckiest. person
you're going to find today.
I WAS ]NDENTURED TO A TRAV'LING CIRCUS
ELEPHANTS AND ALL
I WAS SHOT OUT OF A CANNON
WHEN THEY UP AND LOST THE BALL
I MET WEREWOLVES, GIANTS
DANCING BBARS
]F YOU DON' T THINK IT TRUE
THEN HOW ON EARTH
CAN YOU EXPLAIN THE ROAD
THAT LED ME HERE TO YOU

SATiIDRA
(recognizing)
Wait, are you...
EDVIARD
LOOK, r SAW YOU
AND ALL OF TIME IN ALL THE WORLD STOOD STILL
AND I PROMISE
I'LL PROVE MY WORTH
I'LL ROAM THE BARTH UNTIL
YOU BELIEVE ME
AND WE CAN BE, AT LAST FOREVER ONE
DON' T BE AFRAID
BE MY CRUSADE

SA}IDRA
You're too late. I'm engaged to be married.
(She shows him the ring...he moves her hand
down, undeterred)
EDTIARD
TELL ME WHAT I HAVE TO GO AND DO
TO MAKE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND
ANYTHING I HAVE TO PROMISE TO
I'LL GLADLY GET BEHIND
I'M THE MAN WHO YOU SHOULD MARRY
YOUR INTENDED THROUGH AND THROUGH
OTHERWISE I' D NEVER WALK THE ROAD
THAT LED ME HERE TO YOU

64
 f\
R
f\
f\ SAI{DRE
n You're the boy f rom the cj-rcus
o !

n EDWARD
c I
r am!

r. SA}IDRA
o I wasn't sure you were real. I imagine thinqs a lot.
o
o EDVIARD
r\ Then imagine us together--Mr. and Mrs. Edward Bloom.
n
o SAIIDRA
(* Wait, Edward B1oom?
fr
C EDVIARD
(' Yes.
C
SANDRA
C
( From Ashton?
(
EDWARD
(
( How did you know?
( SAIIDRA
( The boy I'm engaged to, he's from Ashton. Don Price.
(
( EDTIARD
( Don Price? ! They l-et him into college?
(
( SA}IDRA
( He's studying political science.
(
t(., EDWARD
He'd fail gravity if it were a subject!
(.
(" SA}IDRA
t ( snil-es )
I help him where f can
t,
L
EDI'IARD
t- Bandage his knuckles where he drags them on the ground?
t-
(.
(, SAI\IDRJA
That/ s a terrible thing to say.
t-
t
L,
(_,
L
L" 65
t/
(-
 f\
f.
f\
f\ EDWARD
r. A terrible Price to pay. Don't marry that cretin
o
n SA}iIDRA
rl Don
C'
n ED}TARD
o Moron.
o
(\ SAI{DRA
f\ (l-ookinq past him)
(- No, Don.
o
(- (EDWARD turns to see DON PRICE approaching
(- with a bunch of his FRATERNITY BUDDIES.. .DON
f' PRICE is pissed)
(-
(- EDIIARD
( Oh, hey, Don
(
( DON PRICE
( Bloom? ! What the hell are you doing?
(
SA}IDRA
( (to Don)
( Promj-se me you won/ t hurt him.
(
(- EDTIARD
( I promise.
(
( DON PRICE
(. This is my gir1. Mine. Look!
(
L (DONroughly grabs SANDRAT s hand to show
(_ EDWARD the diamond ring)
L
(. SAI{DRA
(. Don I

t-
(, EDWARD

L Take your hands off her.

L DON PRICE
t. Or what? You/re not so big without a glant to back you up.
l.
tr
(,
(r.,
(.,
L,
t, 66
\-,
\-
 EDWARD
But I'11- always be the bigger man.

(DON PRICE suddenJy cLobbers EDWARD...hrs

BUDDIES join in...true to his word, EDWARD
doesn't tight back)
SAfiifDRA
Don, stop! Stop! Don, I wil-l- never marry you.
(takes off ring)
This was a mistake.
DON PRICE
What? You actually l-ove this guy?

SA}IDRA
He's almost a stranger, yet I prefer him to you.
(she hands hin his ring,..disbeLieving, DON
and his BUDDIES exit)
DON PRTCE
Witch lover.
ZACKY PRICE
(weakly initating)
Witch l-over.
SA}IDRA
Are you alright?
EDWARD
ONCE A MONTH
A SCRAP OF NEWS
IT FELT LIKE YOU WERE THERB
ONCE A MONTH
I HEARD YOUR VOICE
I HELD YOU SOLITAIRE
AMOS SAID THAT YOU LOVED MUSIC
SAID THAT YOU WERE COLLEGE BOUND
BUT ONE THING
MORE THAN ALL THE REST
FILLED THE HEART INSIDB MY CHEST
HE TOLD ME YOU LOVED DATFODILS

61
 EDWARD (CONT. )
AND COUNTLESS AS THE STARS THAT SHINE
THEY STRETCHED ]N NEVER ENDING L]NE
\TIL ALL I SAW WERE DAFFODILS
BESIDE THE LAKE BENEATH THE TREES
ALL FLUTTERING AND DANCING ]N THE BREEZE
AND LIKE THAT MOMENT RIGHT BETWEEN ASLEEP AND WAK]NG
I THOUGHT I SAV{ TEN THOUSAND STRONG IN ONE QUICK GLANCE
BUT WHEN I
SAW YOUR FACE
] KNEW BEYOND MISTAKING
A MILLION FLOWERS COULDN'T STAND A CHANCE
SO, I'LL PRETEND THE DAFFOD]LS
ARE JUST AN INTRODUCTION TO
THE BLOSSOMING OF ME AND YOU

BESTDE THE LAKE

BENEATH A TREE
BEYOND MISTAKE
PLEASE MARRY ME
PLEASE MARRY ME

SAbIDRA
But you hardly know me...
EDTIARD
I have the rest of my life to find out.
(the enters, dressed in their story
ENSEMBLE
characters. . . each carries armfuJ-s of
daffodil-s that they pLace in a circJe around
EDWARD and SANDRA)

EDVIARD
These and these.
These and these.
These and these and these
And these and...
(builds)
THESE ARE FOR YOU
ONLY FOR YOU

EDWARD & SAI\TDRA

LET' S BUILD A WORLD OF DAFFODILS
THAT NEVER FADES AND NEVER DIES
] SEE THE ANSWER TN YOUR EYES

68
 EDWARD SAI\IDRA
YOU' LL BE THE BRIDE I'LL BE THE BRIDE
f'LL BE THE GROOM YOU'LL BE THE GROOM

EDWARD, SAIIDRiA, & ENSET{BLE

A DAFFODIL IN EV' RY ROOM

EDTIARD
AND I WILL SHOWER YOU WITH FLOWERS
OR MY NAME ISN' T
EDWARD...
(Enjoying the anticipation of the joke...)
EDIIARD E SAilIDRA
BLOOM
(EDWARD and SANDRA Jean in...and they kiss)
BI,ACKOUT

END OF ACT ONE

69
 n
fa
r(\
(' ACT TIVO

f\ #13 ENTR'ACTE
(\
(\
(- (the circl-e of daffodiJs remains on stage
through intermission. . .durinq the Entr' acte,
n the ENSEMBLE gathers the fJ-owers and removes
C them...WILL and JOSEPHINE are downstage in
(!
their same positions from Act One..,WILL js
r(' reeling)
(- WILL
(' Why would myfather have a mortgage to a house f've never heard
(' about? And what's the deal- wit.h Jenny Hill?
(:
(- iIOSEPHTNE
(- Maybe she's a friend.
(-
(- WItL
(' Maybe she's more than that. My father was a traveling salesman.
( He could have easily had a second l-ife. A second family!
(
( JTOSEPHINE
( Stop ! That' s not real-.
(
( WILL
What is real with my father? What if all these crazy stories are
L just a smokescreen so we don't bother looking for the truth?
(
(.
(re folder)
My father bought a secret house in Ashton. I can't pretend we
(
(
didn't find this.
( .'OSEPHINE
(- Okay, okay. f know you want to find answers, but think about the
(_ time you have left. You're here to make peace, Will. Not start a
(, war.
(.
(- WILL
(, This started a long time ago.
L (transition to. . .bedroom. . .past)
t-
L (YOUNG WILL helps SANDRA makes the
t, bed. . .EDWARD enters, surprising SAIVDRA with
(., a bouquet of fTowers)
t.
L.
t,
(,,
Ir
t, 10
t,
n
r\
'(\
rr\ SAI{DRA
(p7ayfu7)
/\ Daffodil-s. Wel-l-, now I know you did something.
o
n EDIVARD
f\ Bob Ray quit, so they're giving me his route. All the way to
n Dallas !

n
o SA}IDRA
o That's a 1ot of driving.
o
() EDWARD
o Hell-uva chance to expand my region.
o
o SAI{DRA
I don't care how far you 90, Edward Bloom. lTust as long as you
C
C
make it back.
o (with a krss / she heads off with a Jaundry
(' basket...EDWARD chases after her, frisky...)
('
SAI{IDRA
(, (on exit)
() There is a young child right there !
(
(r (EDWARD stays back with YOUNG WILL)
(
( ED}IARD
L So, you got another soccer game this week?
(
(. YOI'NG WILL
(, ft's not soccer season anymore.
(,
(. EDWARD
(,, \Course not. WiIl, I'm gonna need you to look after your mother.
(. You're the man of the house while f'm on the road.
(.'
(- YOI'NG WILL
L On the road to where?
L
EDVIARD
L,
(-, Everywhere. How do I explain it?
L,
(_)

1,,
(.,
(,
L
(.
L,
t 7T
(-
U
 #15 FIGHT THE DRAGONS

EDWARD (CONI'D)
ft's not about a destination, Witl. The road is somethj-ng that's
in you. A need. You don't drive it-it drives you. Understand?
YOT'NG WILL
No.

EDWARD
I'VE NEVER BEEN A MAN WHO LIVED AN OFFICE L]FE
I'VE NEVER BEEN A MAN BEHIND A DESK
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A MAN WHO SA]D
THAT STAYIN' STILL ]S PLAY]N' DEAD
THE KIND WHO' S LOOKIN' FORWARD TO THE CHALLENGES AHEAD
PEOPLE SAY THAT/ S IRRESPONS]BLE
PEOPLE TELL ME STAY AT HOME
BUT I'M NOT MADE FOR THINGS
LIKE MOWTN' LAWNS OR APRON STRINGS
I/M MY BEST
WHEN NOT AT REST

SO I FIGHT THE DRAGONS

AND I STORM THB CASTLES
AND I WlN A BATTLE OR TWO
THEN COMES THE DAY
rT, S TIME
I'M PACK]N' UP
AND ] AM
BRINGING ALL MY STOR]ES HOME TO YOU

ALL I CAN SEE IS MILES AHEAD W]TH MILES TO GO

ALL I CAN FEEL IS W]ND AND SUN AND SKY
STOP FOR A COFFEE, MAKE A FR]END
AND PRAY THE DAY W]LL NEVER END
\CUZ THERE' S ONE MORE ADVENTURE WAITIN' ROUND ANOTHER BEND

WHERE I FIGHT THE DRAGONS

AND I STORM THB CASTLES
AND I WIN A BATTLE OR TWO
BUT THBN A FEELING COMES
L]KE FIFTY THOUSAND DRUMS
ALL BANGING *BRING MY STORIES HOMB TO YOU"

AND I WONDER AS I WANDER

ON THE ROAD FROM DOOR TO DOOR

72
 EDWARD (CONT. )
EXACTLY WHAT YOU TH]NK OF WHERE ]'VE BEEN
DO YOU KNOW I JOINED THE CIRCUS
MET A MERMAID, FOUGHT A WAR
DO YOU KNOW I THINK OF YOU THROUGH TH]CK AND THIN

BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH T'M MAKING DEALS

AND BRINGING PEOPLE JOY
I'M USUALLY ONLY THINK]NG OF MY BOY
OUT THERE ON THE ROAD I PRAY
YOU'LL COME TO ME ONE DAY
AND SAY

EDWARD E YOUNG IIII,IJ

LET' S FIGHT THE DRAGONS
AND THEN STORM THE CASTLES

EDVilARD
\TIL WE WIN WHAT NEEDS TO BE WON
SO WHEN I'M OLD AND TIRED
YOU' LL DO THE JOB REQUIRED
YOU' LL BE THERE TELLING STORIES TO YOUR SON

(EDWARD and YOUNG WILL move downstage)

THEN WE FIGHT THE DRAGONS

AND THEN STORM THE CASTLES
AND I DO THE BEST THAT I CAN
BUT EV' RYBODY KNOWS
THAT' S HOW THE STORY GOES
TO TURN EACH BOY INTO A B]GGER MAN
SO I'LL F]GHT THE DRAGONS
\TIL YOU CAN
(EDWARD exrts, Jeaving YOUNG WILL center
stage...WILL enters, carrying the red
fol-der...he trades places with YOUNG WILL/
who exits)

#15A STRjAITGER (REPRTSE)

WILL
STRANGER
IIM FEELING STRANGER THAN IIVE EVER FELT BEFORE
AND SO MUCH MORE

73
 wrLL (coNT' D)
DIFFERENT
LIKE SOMETHING OLD HAS JOINED W]TH SOMETH]NG NEW
WHAT SHOULD I DO

(As WILL exjts, reveal bedroom,..present)

(SANDRA heLps EDWARD into bed...WILL
enters. . . a sotto conversation with SA/VDRA
before she exits)
TTILL
Dad?

EDVIARD
Son?

WILL
Can we talk?
ED?IARD
f bel-ieve we have permission.
(A wince of pain...WILL helps hin with a
glass of water as EDWARD takes some
medicine)
WILI,
Do the pills help?
EDWARD
Mostly. But they got me floatin' a bit. Not entirely sure what's
real-.
WILL
I know that feeling.
(EDWARD smil-es...he wal-ked into that one)

WILL
Do you know much about icebergs, Dad?

EDWARD
I saw an iceberg once. T hey were hauling it down to Texas for
drinking water, only the yd idn't count on an elephant being
frozen inside. The wooll yk ind. A mammoth.
n
n
r\
n WILL
o ( interruptinq)
n Dad !
rt
c EDWARD
n What?
(^
o WILL
o f'm trying to make a metaphor here,
n
e EDIIARD
(- Then you shouldn't have st.arted with a question. Because people
C want to answer questions. You should have started with, "The
C thing about icebergs is. .."
C
( WILL
(- (frustrated)
C
The thing about icebergs is you only see 10 percent of them. The
C
other 90 percent is below the water where you can't see it.
( (nore)
(' And that's what it is with you, Dad. f'm only seeing this littte
( bit that sticks above the water.
('
EDWARD
( j okinq)
(
( What, you're seeing down to my nose? My chin?
(
(- VilILL
( I have no idea who you are...because you have never told me a
( single fact.
(
( EDWARD
(__ I talk about myself all t.he time ! I tel-l stories.
L
(. WILL
(_ Yes, you teII stories, Dad. You make stuff up. And I'm wondering
t- if it's all- to conceal something you don't want people to know.
t
EDVIARD
L got me. My secret identity.
t. You
(dramaticaJJy)
L,
(- Superman !

(, (Not amused, WILL cuts to the chase)

L

L WILL
L Can we talk about Ashton, Dad?
Ir
(_.

L 15
\.
U
 EDWARD
Ashton?

#15C PRE RI\TER BET!!ilEEN US

EDVTARD (CONT'D)
I grew up there. You know that.
(a shift)
WILL
So why did we never visit? It's not that far a drive.
EDWARD
Nothing t.o see there.

WTLL
Dad, f'm about to have a kid of my own here. It would kill me if
he went through his whole life with...doubts.
ED}IARD
It would kill you, huh?
(sitting up)
Let's hear it, then. What exactly are you accusing me of, Will?
WILL
f'm not. f'm just trying to get a handle on some things.
EDWARD
Handle 'em as you will. I think we're done talking.
rilILL
Dad...
ED}IARD
GET OUT !

(WILL takes the foLder...he crosses with

SA.I./DRA as she enters)
SA}IDRA
Wilt--What did you do?
WILL
I didn't do anything.

16
 dIOSEPHINE
intercepting)
(

Calm down. Cal-m down, Will.

WTLL
I know you're trying to protect me. But you can't.
(WILL and JOSEPHINE move stage right)

#16 THIS RIVER BEIVIEEN US

SAI{DRJA,
(to Edward)
What happened?

EDVIARD
He attacked me. Come after me like f'm a villain.
(SANDRA helps EDWARD to bed)

?STLL
(to JOSEPHINE)
EACH TIME HE TELLS ANOTHBR TALE
HE DRIFTS ANOTHER STEP FROM ME

EDTIARD
(to SANDRA)
He's got it wrong. I'm not the bad guy.
WILL
I W]SH I KNEW THE REASON
HE CHOOSES FANTASY
INSTEAD OF FACING FACTS
(re foLder)
SOMETHING HIDDEN
SOMETHING HE FEARS
WILL I LEARN THE TRUTH BEFORE HE DISAPPEARS?
(As WILL moves downstage, JOSEPHINE exits)
WILL
THIS RIVER BETWEEN US GROWS W]DER EACH DAY
HE TALKS BUT HE MOSTLY HAS LITTLE TO SAY
I BEG HIM TO SEPARATE THE TRUTH FROM THE TALE
BUT THE RIVER INV]TBS H]M

7'7
THIS RIVER BETWEEN US GROWS HARDER TO BEAR
HE'S STANDING BESTDE ME BUT NOT REALLY THERE
HIS FLIGHTS TURN TO FANCY AS SOON AS HE/LL START
BUT H]S FANCY EXC]TES HIM
SO EDWARD TAKES HEART

wrLL (coNr. )
MY FATHER TALKS OF MIRACLES
OF MYSTERY AND FATE
HE' S BEEN AROUND THE WORLD, HE SAYS
AND DINED W]TH HEADS OF STATE
MY FATHER SPEAKS OF FIREWORKS
OF SHOOTING STARS ABOVE YOU
BUT HOW CAN YOU BELIEVE A LIAR
WHEN HE SAYS "T LOVE YOU"

EDWARD MEN
THIS RIVER BETWEEN US AHH

WILL
THERE'S A RIVER BETWEEN US

EDWARD & WILL

THERE' S AN OCEAN BETWEEN US

ED}IARD
SO NOW T FINALLY GET THE KNIFB
MY SON'S CONV]NCED THAT ]'M A L]AR
NOW THERE/ S A FUNNY PUNCHLINE
AND IN THE FINAL HOUR
DISCARDED LIKE THE TRASH
HE INSULTS ME
THEN STANDS APART
AND THINKS HE' S SMART

(moving downstage)

THIS RIVER BETWEEN US

IS SELFISH AND
COLD
IT FLOWS WHERE IT WANTS TO
IT CAN' T BE CONTROLLED
MY SON DOESN' T WANT ME TO BE WHAT ]AM
HE DON' T GIVE A DAMN

WILL
HE ONLY SEES WHAT HE INVENTS

18
 EDIVARD
HE ONLY SEES THE BLACK AND WH]TE

}III.L
ALL MAKE-BELIEVE AND ALL PRETENSE

EDIIARD
AND ALWAYS WANTS TO START A FIGHT
WTLL
HE DOESN'T CHANGE

EDWARD
HE DOESN' T STAY

EDVIARD E WTLL
AND SO THE RTVER WINDS ]TS WAY
THTS RIVER BETWEEN US MAY NEVER BE CROSSED
AND WHILE WE STAY SILENT WE' RE V]OLENTLY TOSSED

WILL
]'LL LEAVE H]M TO PONDER

EDWARD
I'LL LEAVE HIM ALONE

EDWARD WILL
.CUZ HE' S MADB OF STONE
HE'S MADE OF STONE
HE' S MADE OF STONE
HE,S MADE OF STONE
THIS RIVER BETWEEN US THIS RIVER BETWEEN US
CAN RAGE LIKE THE SEA CAN RAGE LIKE THE SEA
HOLDING ON FOR DEAR LIFE HOLDING ON FOR DEAR LIFE
IS MY CH]LD AND ME IS MY FATHER AND ME
EDWARD
HE' LL COME TO H]S SENSES

VIILL
HB' S SWIMMING AND YET

EDWARD
HE' LL DROP HIS DEFENSBS

19
 ' ' -!'>'

WILL
HE' S CAUGHT IN A NET

EDIIARD & VilILL

AND THOUGH I CAN'T CHANGE HIM
SOME DAY HE'LL REGRET
I\
EDVIARD WILL

THlS R]VER BE_ THIS RIVER BE-

TWEEN US EACH TIME HE TELLS
BETWEEN US ANOTHER TALE
BETWEEN US HE DRIFTS ANOTHER
BETWEEN US STEP FROM ME
THTS RIVER
THIS RIVER
THIS RTVER
THIS RIVER, THIS-

(WILL exits)
(THUNDER)
(EDWARD screams, disoriented,. . SAAIDRA
enters, scared to see EDWARD in this state)
SAhIDRA
Edward? Honey?
(he recoils, a startJed animaJ)
ft's me. You're okay! Let's calm down. Tel-l me what happened
EDVIARD
I was drowning. It was... ' 1'1

(beat)
It's all got kinda blurry.
(he crumples to the f J-oor...SANDR.A joins
him)

SAI|IDRA
ft/s okay honey. It was just a nightmare. Yoi:'re right here with
me ''
(they both fisten to the rain...mqre
thunder)

\l-b

80
 #L1 I DON'T NEED A ROOF

ED}IARD
The roof shoul-d hold up. The shingles still got at least ten
years in 'em. You'11 be fine.
(off her reaction)
Ah, honey. What.'d I say?
SA}IDRA
IN YOUR FACE
] SEE A LIFETIME
]N TH]S PLACE
I FEEL AT EASE
WALLPAPER PEELING
PAINT WEARTNG THIN
HERE' S WHERE T END AND BEG]N

I DON'T NEED A ROOF TO SAY I'M COVERED

I DON'T NEBD A ROOF TO KNOW I'M HOMB
THERE COULD BE A SINGLE SHINGLE DANGL]NG OVERHEAD
I DON/T NEED A ROOF TO MAKE MY BED
(EDWARD Tays his head in SANDRA's 1"p)
sAlrDRA (CONr. )
CLOSE YOUR EYES
I,M ST]LL BESIDE YOU
NO GOODBYES
NEEDED TODAY
HEAR WHAT THE RATN SAYS
KNOW WHAT IT KNOWS
AFTER THE RAIN SOMETHING GROWS

I DON' T NEED A ROOF TO SAY I LOVE YOU

r DON'T NEED A ROOF TO CALL YOU MINE
I DON' T NEED ADVENTURE ]N SOME FAR AWAY FRONT]ER
I DON' T NEED A ROOF TO FEEL YOU NEAR

ALL I NEBD IS YOU AND YOU FOREVER

ALL I FBEL IS TRUE AND ABSOLUTE
] DON/ T NEED A LEGAL DEED TO HELP ME PLAY MY PART
I DON' T NEED A ROOF TO HOLD MY HEART
STAY WITH ME
STAY WITH ME

81
(\
r.
f\
f\ (As EDWARD and SANDRA exit, segue to outside
rt a tidy littJ-e house...a rocking chair on the
f\ porch...JENNY HILL enters, kneeJ-ing at the
f. rivert s edge to fiLJ- up her watering
ro can...her back is to WILL as he enters
carryinq the red fol-der)
o
r\
c #1ZA .'ENNY HILL 2
n
o WILL
C Excuse me. Hi
(^
(- .'ENNY HILL
('j oh.
(-' (recognizing hin)
(' oh!
f)
a WILL
( HeIl-o.
(
( i'ENNY HILL
( I wasn't expectlng you.
(
( WILL
(. Are you Jenny Hill?
(
{'ENNY HIIIJ
(
(
I am. And you're Will, Eddie/s son. You look so much like him.
( WILI,
(_ How did you know my father?
(_
(_ JIENNY HILL
(. From hiqh school. Before that, even.
(_. (a beat. . .not fJinching)
(,
(- WILL
t. Were you and my father having an affair?
(-
(, i'ENNY HILL
L (taken back)
(, Wow. You just said it.
(,
L WILL
l-, I've seen him with women. He flirts. He always has. On some
L.,
leve1, I presumed he was cheating on my mother. I just never had
(.
L,
82
Lr
U
(\
n
(\
(\ proof.
o her the foJ-der)
(shows
(\ That's your signature, right? The deed to this house. He co-
f\ signed the loan.
r\
f- |IENNY HILL
c Can I ask you a question? Why did you come here today? If you
o found this, why didn't you just ask Eddie?
c
(' WILL
(- Because he's dying.
f-
o (JENNY is taken back by the suddenness of
r
('
it...she's a tangJe of confJicting emotions)
(- iIENNY HILL
( Look, I don't know how much you want to know about any of this.
( (nore)
(' You have one image of your father and it woul-d be wrong of me to
( go and change it.
(
WILL
(
(
My father talked about a l-ot of things he never did, and I'm
(
sure he did a l-ot of things he never talked about. I'm just
trying to reconcil-e the two.
( (beat)
( You said you went to high school- with him. Was that here, in
(- Ashton?
(
( iTENNY HILL
( It was in Ashton, but Ashton wasn't here. You do know what
(. happened to the town, right?
(-
( WILL
(, No.
L
(- .]ENNY HILL
(- Oh honey. That's the only reason your father came back. The
(, state was building a new reservoir--t,he whol-e valley was gonna
(_ be flooded. In just a few hours, the town of Ashton woul-d be
t thlrty feet under water.
(_.
(naking space so they can both sit)
(. Edward Bl-oom came back to take one l-ast look at the town he left
t, so long ago.
(. (lights rise on the Ashton Town Square...the
L CITIZENS of Ashton have chained themsel-ves
(,
(.,
(..
B3
t,
(-,
 to the buiJ-dings in protest...banners and
signs read "^Save Ashton" and "Don / t Drown
Our Town..." DON PRICE feads a chant)
DON FRTCE
What do we want?

TOTINSFOLK
Nothing to change !

DON PRICE
When do we want it?
TOMISFO[,K
Forever !

DON PRICE
What do we want?

TOI{NSFOLK
Nothing to change !

DON PRICE
When do we want it?
TOVINSFOLK
Forever !

DON PRICE
As long as we're chained here, the state won't dare drown this
town.

(EDWARD enters. . . ZACKY is the first to spot

hin)
ZACKY PRICE
Edward Bl-oom?

STIARECROPPER
It can't be.
EDWARD
It is!
ZACKY PRICE
We knew you'd come. When you left, you said quote, *f'll never
forget Ashton. I ' 1l come back, I promj-se. "

B4
fr
n
n
n STIARECROPPER
(1 just thought it'd
We be sooner!
o
o DON PRTCE
c Edward Bloom.
o
o EDVTARD
o Don Price
o
o DON PRICE
o That's Mayor Don Price.
f)
n EDVTARD
o Congratulations. Look, f came because I read in the paper that
C they were floodin' the va11ey.
C
C
ZACKY PRICE
C)
So what's your plan, Edward?
C,
EDWARD
cr' (confused)
()
(, What, me? You think f'm here to save you?
C
ZACKY PRICE
( You're persuasive ! You can talk to them, get them to stop
( building the dam.
(
(- EDIIARD
( The dam's already built. The river's already rising.
(.
(, DON PRICE
L, The state's not gonna l-et us all- drown.
L
L EDWARD
(-, Does anyone even know you're here?
(,
t, DON PRTCE
L Yeah !

L (actually)
Maybe.
L
L ZACKY PRICE
t Wait, nobody knows we're here?! Edward, you gotta help us.
t, You/re the only one who can save the town.
Ir
L
L
L
L
L 85
(,
(,
l/
f\
n
r\
n #18 START O\IER
n
('
DON PRICE
o Uh-uh! Not thls time!
(\
n EDWARD'S NOT A SAVTOR
o EDWARD'S NOT A SA]NT
o HOW CAN HE BE GOOD FOR US
o HE' S NOT THE THING HE SAYS HE A]N' T
o WE CAN CHANGE OUR FATE
e YOU BET WE CAN
f' WE DON' T NEED THIS INTERLOPING MAN
C
C EDVIARD
C, He's right !

(-
(-' DON PRTCE
C I am not! I mean...what?
C
(', EDTIARD
( You gotta let go of the past.
(
{
I SUGGEST THAT YOU
( START OVER
(
DON PRICE
C Now?
(-
(_'
EDWARD
( START OVER
(-..
( DON PRICE
t- How?
(,
(,. EDISARD
t INSTEAD OF DROWN
(- YOU MOVE THE TOWN
(" AND START OVER
(.
L, TOI{NSFOLK
t. Wow.
(DON grumbLes)
L
t,
l, YOU CAN SWEAT
EDTSARD

t-.
YOU CAN FRET
L,
L
L
L 86
(/
(-
U
 n
n
f\
o ED}TARD (CONT. )
(^. \TIL WE' RE ALLSOAKING WET
o .CUZ GOOD GOD THERE' S A FLOOD ON THE WAY
c IF YOU START OVER
o TOMORROW BEGINS TODAY
n
o What's so great about these buildings? Nothin' . These roads are
(\ full of potholes. But that's not what makes a town--a t.own is
o made of people and memories and dreams. You got those ! You don't
o have to stay here to stay together I

o
(' FARM GIRI,
c But where we movi-n' to? !

C
C CHEERLEADER
e We gotta get some new land first.
(-
DON PRICE
C,
C
V[e couldn't afford to bui]-d a new town anyway.
('
EDWARD
( (undeterred)
( What if I got you the land and the money?
(
( ZACKY PRICE
( (re chains)
( WeIl-, you'd know where to find us.
(
( (EDWARD Leaves the TOWNSFALK to meet up with
( AMOS CALLOWAY)
(
( AIqOS
{-. f '11 tel-I yd, Edward
t,
t_ WHEN WE MET I L]VED A KIND OF SECRETIVE LIFE
(- ] WAS A MYSTERIOUS MAN
t- AFTER MEETING YOU I MET MYSELF AND MY WIFE
(- (shows ring)
t- ALL BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME I CAN
YOU/RE UPSET
L YOU'RE IN NEED
(.
L I'VE GOT LAND
AND A DEED
t, YOU CAN HAVE EV' RY WEBD
EV' RY STONE
\,
L
t.
Ir
L 81
1,,
{-
(-,
n
n
f\
o AMOS (CONT. )
n YOU' RE THE ONLY MAN WHO I WOULD EVER GIVE A THING TO
o THE TRUEST FRIEND THAT I'VE EVER KNOWN
o
f\ You'l-1 love this land. Lotsa tasty rabbits!
r.
o EDVIARD
n Thank you Amos, thank you!
o (EDWARD feaves to find KARL THE GIANT.
AMOS
o who has become a WaJ-J- Street tycoon)
c
o KARL
(' Edward ! When I met you, f was living i-n a cave.
(-
C You convinced me to
(-
(- START OVER
START OVER
C
C We'd offset the construction cost sb y floating a thirty-year
('
( fixed-rate bond tied to the Nikke ii ndex.
(beat)
( I know a guy.
(
( IN A RUSH
( YOU'LL BE FLUSH
( ilLL GET CASH
( BUT HUSH_HUSH
( I WON' T DO THIS FOR JUST ANY JOE
( YOU CAN START OVER
t AND BDWARD ]'LL GTVE YOU THE DOUGH
(-
(_ EDIVARD
(_. Thank you Karl, thank you !

(- (EDWARD returns to the TOWNSFOLK)

(- I got you the land just over the hill
(. And money to buil-d a new town
(_
ZACKY PRICE
t-
(. Money to build a new town
L DON PRICE
(-
(overJapping)
L Money to buil-d a new town
t,,
\, TOIINSFOLK
(- Money to build a new town
L
t-,
L B8
It
(*/
n
c
r\
o EDVSARD E TOT{NSFOLK
n START OVER
o START OVER
o ]NSTEAD OF DROWN
(a WE MOVB THE TOWN
r\ AND START OVER
n
(\ AI,L
(\ WE CAN SWEAT
n WE CAN FRET
ITIL WE'RE ALL SOAKING
e WET
r-
C EDWARD, DON t ZACKY
C SO YOU BETTER BELIEVE WHAT WE SAY
C IF WE START OVER TOMORROW BEGINS TODAY
(-
(-- AI,L
(' TOMORROW BEGINS TODAY
(''
(' EDVilARD, DON & ZACKY
(r
TOMORROW BEG]NS TODAY
TOMORROW BEGINS TODAY
(
( (DON rar.ses the deed and check triumphantLy)
(
( AI.L
( TOMORROW BEGINS
( TOMORROW BEGINS !
(
( (as the song starts to buil-d toward its
( concJ-usion / everything suddenJ-y
( freezes. . .JENNY HILL' s porch)
(
( WILL
(, Wait--if what you' re saying is true, then that's the biggest
(- thing my father's ever done. He saved a town. Why wouldn,t he
(" tell me that story?
L
(. HTLL
(" Because the story doesn't end
'ENNY
there.
(-
(_
(JENNY HILL crosses into the town square
where she chains herseff. . .everything
t unfreezes)
(-.
L
ZACKY PRICE
t. Edward, you saved us again !

t..
L
L,
(, 89
(-
(-
 n
r\
(\
r"
n EDWARD
(' It was all Don's idea.
r
(-
(TOWNSFOLK cheer for DON instead)
(-t DON PRICE
a Water's risin' ! Let's go !

o
o (as CITIZENS exit, offers EDWARD a
DON
n handshake...EDWARD notices a woman with her
o back to him...he doesn't reaLize it's
r', JENNY)
(-
(- EDVSARD

f- Mat am? Ma'am, we gotta go. They already started flooding the
f- va11ey.
('
\'ENNY HILL
f You' re too l-ate.
(-
('
EDWARD
(
(
No--we still got an hour, &t least.
( iTENNY HILL
( (turning to hin)
( You're years too late.
(
( EDVilARD
( Jenny Hill. What are you--I heard you married, moved away.
(
( iIENNY HILL
( My husband left In€r too. He could never compete with the
t. fantasy. A girl only gets one true love, and that was you.
t
(= EDVilARD
t. Jenny, I'm sorry.
(.
(- iIENNY HILL
(, Just forget me like you did before. Let me drown here, Edward
Bloom.
L
L EDWARD
L,
(. I won't.
L,
iIENNY HILL
t, You did! I have been drowning sj-nce the moment you left.
t.
(,
t.
L 90
(-,
U
L
 #18A START O\IER (REPRTSE)

EDVIARD
I'M NOT HERE TO ARGUE OR CONFESS
ONLY HERE FOR DAMSELS IN DISTRESS
LEAVE THIS MESS AND THEN
START OVER
START OVER
SAY \BYE TO THE OLD FANTASY
AND START OVER

WHEN THERE/ S PA]N

DON'T COMPLAIN
JUST HOLD ON THROUGH THE RAIN
AND YOU'LL WONDER WHAT CAUSED ALL THE FUSS
WHEN WE START OVER
TOMORROW BEG]NS FOR US

(JENNY rel-ents... EDWARD unJ-ocks her chains

and rushes her off stage...water rises,
eventually overtaking the town. WILL watches
from the porch)
A TITLE CARD: ITHE FLOODI
(as the waters retreat, EDWARD feads JENNY in, her
eyes bl-indfolded)
EDWARD
Little further. Little further. Now watch out for that poisonous
snake !

(she squeaJs)
Just kiddin' . Alright, three. . .two. ..one. ..
(he pul-Ls down the bfindfold)

i'ENNY HTLL
Oh my god. Is this really my house?

EDVIARD
AIl you have t.o do 1s sign.
(he hol-ds the red fol-der with the
deed. . . JENNY signs. . . so does EDWARD)

EDVIARD
(signing)
Edward Bloom. I promised I'd come back, Jenny. I'm a man of my
word.

9t
 n
f\
(\
f\ (WILL takes the foJ-der f rom EDWARD's hand)
n
(- iIENNY HILL
n Thank you.
o (a smil-e...a hug...the hug turns into a
r\ kjss...EDWARD J-ets it go on longer than he
o shouJ-d...he finalTy pushes away)
o
o EDTIARD
o I am in love with my wife. From the moment I saw her until- the
e moment I die, she's the only one.
fr
o i'ENNY HILL
C Lucky girl.
(-
(- EDIIARD
(' I'm sorry, Jenny. I am.
(- (with that/ EDWARD exjts...as we transition
(- back to present day, JENNY sjts on the porch
( with WILL)
('
i'ENNY HILL
( He never came back. And f guess he never said a word about,
( savi-ng Ashton. The greatest thlng he ever did, and not a story
( to go with it:
(
( VIILL
(- He coul-d have left you out of the story.
(
( JENNY HILL
( No, he coul-d never risk you coming here, finding out. It had to
( go untold.
(
(. WTLL
t- It was just a kiss.
(,
t- i'ENNY HILL
(. (surprised)
(. You donf t understand him, do you?
t,.
WILL
L I want to.
(.
(_
(. i'ENNY HILL
(, Honey, you're the key to aII of t.his. The way Eddie smiled when
t
he talked about you--well, you were just a boy, but you were
smart. He was so proud of you. You knew that, didn't you?
\,
L"
L,
92
L-,
L,
U
t\
R
r\
(\ (WILL didn't)
f1
o iTENNY HILL (CONT. )
r. He wanted you to be proud of him, too.
rl
o (WILL's phone rings...he checks the
o number . . . answers )
n
o WILL
r\ Hi. . .What's wrong, are you. . When? Where is he? Is Mom...Okay
(\ I'm coming, f'm coming.
e (to Jenny)
c I'm sorry. I have to...
C
f- .JENNY HILL
(- Is it Eddie? Is he. . ?
('
WILL
r' I don't know.
C
(
(
( #188 TRJNiTSITION TO HOSPITAL
(
( (WILL exrts as we reveaT hospital
( room...EDWARD sTeeps in a hospital
( bed. . . JOSEPHINE and SA/VDRA pace. . .WILL
(- enters)
( WTLL
( What happened?
(
( i'OSEPHINE
( Your father stopped breathing. We called the ambulance
(.
(_ }lILL
(, Is he going to be okay? I mean, will he get back to the way he
(- was when...
(. (She shakes her head)
t-
L WILL
t. Mom. I'm so sorry. I should have been there.
(.
(. SE}IDRA
L
There's not.hing you could have done.
(,
TIILL
L What does Dr. Be4nett say?
(,
L,
L 93
U
L
(-
 n
f\
r\
(\ SAI{DRA
(\ They'11 know better in the morning. Some test. f'm supposed to
n go downstairs fill out paperwork.
r'
(\ VilILL
f\ I'11 go with you.
o
fn SAIIDRA
n No, one of us shoul-d st.ay with him.
r.
(-. JOSEPHINE
o I'LI go with you.
('
(-,
(' {+18C TIME STOPS (REPRISE}
(-
f- (SANDRA hesjtates / reJ-uctant ta l-eave, but
( then departs with JOSEPHINE...WILL sjts
(' beside the bed, writing in a note pad. DR.
( BENNETT enters)
(
TfTLL
{ Dr. Bennett.
(
(
( DR. BENNETT
( WilI.
C
WILL
( Dr. Bennett, how long have you known my father?
(
(
DR. BENNETT
( (checking EDWARD' s chart)
( How old are you? Add a couple years to that
(
(. WII,L
( How would you describe him?
(.
(. DR. BENNETT
(, (re chart)
(, Five-nine. One-sixty. Regulated hypertension.
t. (NOft: adjust EDWARD' s height and weight as
(.. appropriate for the actor)
t-
t,. WILL
t, Can he hear us?
t,
\.,
(r,
(,
(.-' 94
(,
(-
 n
(\
(\
(\ DR. BENNETT
(\ Hard to say what anyone hears. Harder still to know if they're
r\ listenin' .
f\
(' (DR. exjts...WILL puJfs a chair over
BENNETT
(1 next to his father's bed. Itt s the mirror
o inage of the openingl with a son beside his
n father)
(-'
o WILL
o I know about Ashton, Dad. I know what you dld. You saved a town
r\ and broke a girl's heart. I get why you didn't want Mom to know.
f= I do. But what you did was...heroic.
(- (re notebook)
(- I made a list of your stori-es. There are thirty-six basic tales,
(' with a 1ot of variations, of course. Some are just jokes. Awful
(- jokes, mostly. But you take the rest and it's like a myth. An
(' epic tale about a farmer's son from Alabama who wanted to see
(- the world. You never did, though. I did.
( (nore)
( And I think that's because of you.
(
(takes EDWARD's hand)
(
A11 this time, I thought you were trying to impress me. You were
(
trying to inspire me.
( (a sound...fow)
(
(- WILL
( Dad?
(
( (EDWARD coughs. . . gasps. . .panicked)
(
( WILL
(. Dad. Do you want me to get a nurse?
(.
(. (EDWARD shakes his head unambiguously)
t.
t- wrLL (coNT. )
(. What can I do? Can I help? Can I get you something? Water?
(, (WILL pours a gJass from the pitcher on the
(_ nightstand. . .EDWARD pushes it away. . .he
(_,
wanted something eJse)
l ED}TARD
(.
I
The river.
(,
\;
(_.
L"
(" 9s
(,
U
 f.
f\
r.
(\
rr\ The river?
}IILL

n EDTIARD
(\ Tel1 me how it happens.
f\
n WILL
n How what happens?
n
o EDVIARD
n How I go.
(-
C WILL
(- I don't...You mean what the Witch showed you? I don't know that
(- part of the story, Dad. You never told me what you saw.
('
(- EDI{ARD
(. (panicked)
(- I/\lill. . .

('
( WILL
( I can't. Dad, I don't know how to do this.
(
(every instinct teJ-J-s WILL to get the
( doctor...EDWARD qives a l-ouder
noise . . . desperate)
(
(
I can try, Dad. If you help. Just tel-l- me how it starts.
(-
( EDWARD
( Like this.
(
( WILL
(.. Okay. Okay.
(. (WILL wings it, desperately trying to make
t. up an Edward Bloom story on the
(", spot. . . l-ooking around. . . )
(-
t,
t. #19 T{HA!' S NEXT
(,
t_, WILL
(. FIRST THINGS FIRST
(. WE'RE IN THIS PRISON CELL
t,. HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO BREAK OUT
{., FIND ANOTHER PLACE TO STAKE OUT
\.
l

t,
(.,
t.
(, 96
U
U
 wrLL (coNT. )
LOOK AROUND
BE SURE WE AREN' T SEEN
SLOWLY CHECK THB DOOR
BEFORE WE' RE SPOTTED
WERE WE SPOTTED

I KNOW
YOU'VE BEEN
(reaL7y pouring it on)
A SECRET DOUBLE AGENT
BUT WE CAN TURN THE PAGE INTO ANOTHER KIND OF TALE

(lights rjse...EDWARD sits up in bed)

wrLL (coNT. )
LET' S GO
THE DOOR
IS JUST OUR FIRST OPPONENT
SO STEP OUT OF YOUR STATE OF SHOCK
WE ONLY NEED TO PICK TH]S LOCK

EDVTARD
No need!
(Fron his bed, EDWARD puJJs out the Key to
the City...hands it to WILL...WILL finds a
wheel-chair and heJps hjs father cl,imb in)
WILL
WHAT' S NEXT IS ALL ANYONE NEEDS TO BEGIN
WHAT' S NEXT HAS BEEN A FR]END TO YOU
WHAT' S NEXT TO DO
ONE WORD AND THEN SUDDENLY ONE MORE AGAIN
JUST LIKE A PEN
WRIT]NG A PERFECT TALB

(The key "unJ-ocks" the door...WILL starts to

wheef EDWARD through the "haJJway")
wrLL (coNT. )
OUT THE DOOR
AND PRAY THE COAST IS CLEAR

DR. BENNETT
Edward?

91
n
n
o
n TIILL
o NOSES TO THE GROUND
o BEFORE WE' RE SPOTTED
o
n EDWARD
o We were spotted!
o
n WILL
n so, NoV[ I/fE FACE
n THB ULTTMATE DEC]SION
c RELINQUISH OUR CONTROL
o AS WE SURRENDER UP THE FIGHT
n OR ELSE WB SAY
C HELLO TO THE COLLISION
C JUST DO OUR JOB AND DO IT WELL
C,
EDTIARD
C
(^ OR BETTER YET
(- Let's run l-ike hel-l!
(.,
(' (WILL pushes the chair fast, nearJy sTamming
( into DR, BENNETT)
(
(
DR. BENNETT

(
Will ! What are you doing?
( EDIVARD
(- Figured out what's wrong with me, Doc Been out of the water too
( long !
(
( DR. BENNETT
(_ Of course.
(-
(- (reaching an "eJ-evator")
(_
(. WTLL
L WHAT' S NEXT IS ALL
ANYONE NEEDS TO BEG]N
L WHAT'S NEXT HAS BEEN A FR]END TO YOU
L WHAT' S NEXT TO DO
L,
L,
(ding! . . .the eJ-evator doors open. . .they
enter with a JVURSB jn scrubs)
L
L
L
L
L
L
l/
L,
98
U
(-
v
 WILL
ONE WORD AND THEN SUDDENLY ONE MORE AGAIN
JUST LIKE THAT PEN
WR]TING A PERFECT TALE

EDTIARD
(to Nurse)
Edward Bloom. Green's a good col-or on you. Brings out your eyes.
(ding!...WILL wheeLs EDWARD out of the
eJ-evator)

wrLt
("that/ s enough")
AIright, Dad.

EDTIARD
You know who else had green eyes?
WILt
The mermaid?
EDVIARD
The mermaid. Sea-green. Absolutely beautlful.
(passing through the front doors of the
haspitaJ-)
EDWARD
(points)
There! My old Chevy!
(EDWARD gulps from a water bottle)

WTLL
EDWARD BLOOM
HOW DID YOU SWIM THROUGH DANGER IN THE WORLD
WHAT WAS IN THE HEART THAT BEATS INSIDE YOU
WERE YOU SIMPLY WETTER THAN
THE ORDINARY AV'RAGE MAN
OR WAS TT JUST YOUR F]NS AND SCALES TO GUIDE YOU TO
WHAT' S NEXT

EDIIARD
WE START THE CAR
(engine roars)

99
 n
n
(\
n WILL
n WHAT' S NEXT
n (tires squeal)
n
f* EDIIARD
(-' WE H]T THE ROAD
o
n WIIJL
o WHAT/ S NEXT
R
c EDWARD
C WE FIND THE RIVER
o
C T IIJL
(- WHAT' S NEXT
(' WHAT' S NEXT
('
( EDWARD
( I don't, I
(', (EDWARD is confused...he knows and doesntt
( know. . . reveaf THE RIVER VALLEY. . . characters
( from aJJ parts of the story are waiting for
(
EDfilARD/ incfudinq AMOS. KARL. DON PRICE. and
( DR. BENNETT)
( WILL
( AND WHO DO WE SEE AT THB R]VER TO GREET YOU
e EV'RYONE THERE AT THE RIVER TO MEET YOU
( EV'RYONE YOU EVER KNEW
( EVER SPOKE OF
( WAITING FOR YOU TO ARRIVE
(
( NOW, CAN YOU SEE KARL BY THE TREE IN THE DISTANCE
t. AMOS ARRIVES WITH HIS USUAL FLAIR
(. ZACKY AND DON
t. GATHERED \ROUND, CHEER]NG ON
t- YES/ EVEN THE WITCH IS THERE
t_ SHE IS THERE
L
(- (The WITCH enters with her crystaJ-
t. baLl...EDWARD cJimbs out of the wheeLchair,
L reveal-ing better cJ-othes under his hospitaL
(",.
gown.. .he starts shaking hands. . . it's al-most
t, a receiving Jine)
L"
t"
t,
\,
L
(' 100
(.
 WILL IilOMEN & MEN
WHAT'S NEXT EDWARD BLOOM
IS ALL ANY-
-ONE NEEDS TO BEGIN WE'VE COME TO SAY GOODBYE
WHAT' S NEXT HAS BEEN COME TO TELL YOU WHY
A FRIBND TO YOU WE'VE AL'WAYS LOVED YOU, YES
WHAT' S NEXT TO DO? WE LOVE YOU

ONLY ONE DAD YOU

ONLY INSP]R]NG ONE SON
EDWARD/ YOU' RE DONE
WRIT]NG YOUR PERFECT TALE
TELLING THE PERFECT TALE

E\IERYONE
IT WAS A PERFECT TALE

(the MERMAID appears in the river)

EDTIARD
Well I can't say this was a surprise, exactly.
(gestures to The WITCH)
But I thank you all for coming. A man is as rj-ch as his frj-ends.
I am a tycoon.
(EDWARD Looks around)
But someone' s missin' here. . .
(SANDRA enters. . . she's wearing a spectacul-ar
dress.. .EDWARD greets her center-stage)

#20 Hovr rr E![Ds

EDWARD
r,VE SEEN THIS ALL BEFORE
WHEN I WAS JUST A CHILD
I MET A WITCH WHO TOOK A BOW
AND SHOWBD ME HOW IT ENDED
WE STOOD HERE ON THE SHORE
THE AIR WAS SWEET AND MILD
W]TH DTSBEL]EF IMPLAUSIBLY SUSPENDED
AND IN MY CHILD' S IMAGINATION
I REMEMBER YOU

101
 EDTVARD (CONr. )
(re KARL)
THOUGH I DIDN' T KNOW IF WE WERE FOES OR FRIENDS
BUT NOW YOU'RE STANDING HERE
] SEE THB VISION COMING CLEAR
I KNOW BXACTLY HOW THIS ENDS
(turns to SANDRA)
IT ENDS W]TH YOU
IT ENDS WITH ME
IT ENDS THE WAY A STORY' S ENDING IS SUPPOSED TO BE

(re AIaOS)
A BIT INSANE

(re Jenny Hill)

A TOUCH OF PAIN
ADEPTLY TOLD
YET UNCONTROLLED

(open to the world)

IT ENDS WITH FA]TH
]T ENDS WITH LOVE
IT ENDS WITH WATER IN THE RIVER AND THE SUN ABOVE
PART EPIC TALE
PART FIRE SALE
BUT ALL SINCERE
AND STANDING HERE

I KNOW I WASN' T PERFECT

I KNOW MY LIFE WAS SMAL],
I KNOW THAT ] PRETENDED THAT I KNEW IT ALL

(re
JOSEPHINE's pregnant beJJy)
BUT WHEN YOU TELL MY STORY
AND ] HOPE SOMEBODY DOES
REMEMBER ME AS SOMETHING BIGGER THAN ] WAS

IT ENDS WITH SONS

1T ENDS WITH WIVES
IT ENDS WTTH KNOWING WHEN THE PAVEMENT BENDS
WE FIND OUR L]VES

(he joins WILL.s and SANDRA|s hands...

they'7J have each other after hel s gone)

L02
 t\
f\
(\
r. EDI'IARD (CONT. )
n SO LET IT COME
o AND LET ME GO
n SHOW ME THE WAVES AND LET THEM FLOW
c' IT ALL ENDS WELL
(^' THIS MUCH I KNOW
(.
o (EDWARD BLOOMTs departure Ls a big moment, a
o cel-ebration, appropriateJy triumphant and
o unhurried.. .the CHARACTERS of EDWARDT s
(. stories sJowTy exit as we return to the
c hospital roam...WILL s:ts beside the bed,
C holding his father's hand)
(-
(: WILL
(- And that's how it happens. That's how you go
(-
(- (a drone...the fLatfine of EDWARD's monitor
( .,.we stay in the moment, Teaving WILL
( al-one. . .he krsses hrs father/ s forehead. . .he
( then moves downstage to THE RIVERT S
( EDGE...as the GUESTS arrive, WILL sk:ps a
( stone. . .he counts seven skips. . .Huh. . .WILL
( turns to the GUESTS, finishes teTling a
(
story at the funeraJ-...a Jaugh from the
GUESTS...he then greets a receiving Tine of
( MOURNERS, each of whom takes a daffodiJ- to
(- toss in the water.,.among the GUESTS, we see
( the "rea-2 " versions of many of EDWARD's
( characters..,WILL recognizes them from his
( fatherts stories...whil-e the detaiJ-s were
( exaqgerated, EDWARD|s FRIENDS were real,
(,, incLuding AMOS and KARL THE GIANT--a very
(. taLL man)
(..
t,
L #21 THE PROCESSION
t.
L MEN AI|TD WOMEN
L ooH, ooH, ooH, ooH
L, ooH, ooH,
L ooH, ooH
(, ooH, ooH
t- WOOH DOO DOO DOO DOO

L' ooH DOO DOO

ooH
L DOO DOO
tt
t.,
L-
L, 103
(,/
 n
f\
(\
(\
WILL
o I don't think we' ve met. I'm Wil-l-.
(-
n KARL
o I'm Kar.l- .
o
n
o (KARL exits...sharing a Jook, WILL and
c JOSEPHINE exit...Jights shift as SAIVDRA
n enters/ carrying a picnic basket...it's not
(- immediateTy cl-ear if this is just after the
r\ funeral-t or some time J-ater.,.WILL's six-
(- year-oJd SON runs in, carrying a fishing
(- poJ-e)
f'
(-
(- #23 BE THE HERO (REPRISE)
('
( WILL' S SON
f Grandma ! Grandma !

(
( S.AI{DRA
( What is it?
(
( wrLL's soN
( We just saw the biggest, fish in the whole world! It was as big
C
as a car!
(
(
(|{ILL and JOSEPHINE enter.. . she is no Jonger
pregnant)
(
( VilILL
(. Now, son. Let's stick to the facts.
(, (look to SANDRA and JOSEPHINE)
(- It was at l-east as big as a truck.
(_
(_.
WILL'S SON
(, Yeah, a truck! And we're gonna catch it.
t.
L (JOSEPHINE takes s arm. . . they
SANDRA/
L. continue waJking, and exit.,,WILL and his
L SON move downstaqe)
t,
(..
(,,
(-
t.,
u
(-.
U 104
(-
U
 WILI,
You know, it was rlght here on this spot that your granddad
helped me catch my first fish.
(gesturing wide)
It was this biq.
WILL'S SON
How'd you do it?

WIIJIJ
That is a Bloom family secret--passed only from father to son.
BE THE HERO OF YOUR STORY IF YOU CAN
BE THE CHAMPION IN THE FIGHT
NOT JUST THE MAN
ON A WING OR ON A PRAYER
YOU GET THERE ONLY WITH YOUR VOICE

(the REMAIIVf/VG CAST enters with chairs,

placing them in the same positions as the
start of the show)
WILL C EVERYONE
W]TH A STORY IN YOUR HEART
YOU WON'T NEED ANY OTHER CHO]CE
YOU'RE A HERO
FIGHTING DRAGONS
WINNING WARS
BE THE HERO AND THE WORLD WILL SOON BE YOURS

(EVERYONE exits except WILL and his SON)

BI,ACKOUT

THE EIID

#24 BOsrS

#25 EXIT MUSIC

105
LCt"CLCC CC aCaaCeLLL l-l\.,ru !,-'.- J-.-J t.)J-,,-)J-iJ,i_; i ) ) ) ) ). l ) \ ) )