Session 4: Threat vs.
Compassionate Motives
This session introduces subject to the three core emotional regulation systems: Threat,
Drive, and Soothing and helps them understand how threat-based motivations can
dominate behavior. Through reflection and interactive exercises, participants learn to
recognize moments when their actions are driven by fear, insecurity, or competitiveness,
and how to begin shifting toward more compassionate intentions. Through reflection and
guided activities, they begin identifying the “hats” or roles they wear in stressful
situations and consider how these patterns might change when approached with self-
awareness and kindness.
Objectives:
Promote understanding of how different motivational systems influence behavior
Help participants identify the emotional cost of threat-based goals
Encourage movement toward compassionate and prosocial motivation
Activity Descriptions:
The session begins with a 5-minute grounding exercise, such as focused breathing,
designed to calm the nervous system and help participants become present. This
performance marker is indicated by visible signs of settled posture, attentive facial
expressions, and reduced fidgeting.
This is followed by a 10-minute mini-lecture and open discussion, where facilitators
introduce the concepts of the Threat, Drive, and Soothing systems. Through relatable
examples, participants learn how these systems operate and how threat-based motivation
often leads to anxiety, burnout, or withdrawal. Performance is measured by active
engagement—nodding, note-taking, asking questions, and relating the content to personal
experience.
Next, participants engage in the “Which Hat Do I Wear?” worksheet activity for 20
minutes. In this task, they reflect on situations where they act from different motivations
(e.g., wearing the “Achievement Hat” vs. the “Approval Hat”) and record their emotional
triggers and consequences. The expected performance outcome is thoughtful completion
of the worksheet, with most participants identifying at least two “hats” they wear
frequently and linking them to internal feelings or pressures.
A 10-minute pair-sharing activity follows, where participants discuss one of their
identified “hats” with a partner. They are encouraged to listen compassionately and avoid
giving advice. Performance is assessed by participants’ ability to listen without
interruption and reflect back with non-judgmental language.
The session ends with a 5-minute wrap-up and take-home prompt, where participants
are invited to observe their motivational states over the coming week and write a short
journal entry on any shift they notice. A successful outcome is when participants leave
with clarity about the task and a willingness to follow through.
Materials:
“Which Hat Do I Wear?” worksheet
Pens or pencils
Flipchart or whiteboard for illustrating the motivational systems
Session 5: Meeting Our Mini-Selves
This session deepens emotional self-awareness by introducing the concept of "Mini-
Selves"—distinct emotional parts of ourselves like the Angry Self, Anxious Self, or Inner
Critic. These inner voices often arise during stress or emotional difficulty and can
strongly influence our thoughts and behaviors. Rather than avoiding, suppressing, or
judging these parts, participants are guided to explore them with curiosity and
compassion. By identifying the triggers, protective intentions, and unmet needs of their
Mini-Selves, individuals begin building a more integrated, compassionate inner dialogue.
This process supports emotional regulation and fosters a kinder, more balanced
relationship with oneself.
Objectives:
Foster emotional literacy and self-awareness
Normalize the presence of multiple emotional states or "selves"
Cultivate compassion toward challenging emotions
Activity Descriptions:
The session opens with a 5-minute mindfulness warm-up, such as a body scan or
“naming the emotion” practice. The performance aim here is for participants to connect
with their current feelings and begin shifting attention inward. Indicators of success
include stillness, closed eyes (if comfortable), and sincere effort to follow the facilitator’s
cues.
A 10-minute mini-lecture follows, where facilitators introduce the concept of “Mini-
Selves” internal emotional parts that often act on our behalf but aren’t always helpful.
Participants learn to view these selves (like the Worried Self or the Inner Critic) with
curiosity rather than judgment. Effective performance includes participant understanding,
demonstrated through light discussion, thoughtful questions, or quiet reflection.
The core of the session is the 20-minute worksheet activity: Meet My Mini-Selves.
Participants visually and descriptively map out at least two of their common emotional
parts giving them names, identifying their triggers, feelings, behaviors, and what they
may be trying to protect. The expected performance outcome is completion of the
worksheet with sincere, thoughtful responses, showing insight into their emotional inner
world.
If there are group sessions then In the 10-minute group discussion, participants are
invited (but not required) to share about one of their Mini-Selves. The tone is kept
affirming and respectful. Performance is evaluated through empathetic listening,
validation, and optionally, courageous sharing of vulnerable parts.
The session ends with a 5-minute visualization exercise, guiding participants to imagine
meeting one of their Mini-Selves and offering it kindness and understanding. The goal is
to deepen emotional connection and reduce internal conflict. A successful performance is
marked by focused attention, quiet participation, and calm emotional presence at the end
of the session.
Materials:
“Meet My Mini-Selves” worksheet
Colored pens or markers (optional)
Journals for reflection
Worksheet: Which Hat Do I Wear?
In this worksheet, you’ll explore the different 'hats' or roles you take on in daily life, and
reflect on the motivations behind them. This helps identify when you are acting from
threat-based versus compassionate motives.
1. Identify three common 'hats' (roles or personas) you wear in your life. Example:
Perfectionist, People-Pleaser, Fixer.
Hat 1: __________________________________
Hat 2: __________________________________
Hat 3: __________________________________
2. For each hat, reflect on the following:
- What triggers this hat to show up?
- How do you feel when you’re wearing this hat?
- Is this hat motivated by fear, competition, or compassion?
- What might a more compassionate alternative be?
Use the space below to reflect:
Hat 1 Reflection:
Trigger: ____________________________
Feelings: ____________________________
Motivation: ____________________________
Compassionate Alternative: ____________________________
Hat 2 Reflection:
Trigger: ____________________________
Feelings: ____________________________
Motivation: ____________________________
Compassionate Alternative: ____________________________
Hat 3 Reflection:
Trigger: ____________________________
Feelings: ____________________________
Motivation: ____________________________
Compassionate Alternative: ____________________________
Worksheet: Meet My Mini-Selves
In this worksheet, you’ll meet and map your emotional Mini-Selves—parts of you that
show up in different situations with strong feelings. Understanding them helps you
respond with kindness rather than criticism.
1. Identify two or three Mini-Selves you commonly notice. Give them a name that fits
their personality.
Example: Anxious Amy, Angry Alex, Sad Sam
Mini-Self 1: __________________________
Mini-Self 2: __________________________
Mini-Self 3 (optional): __________________________
2. For each Mini-Self, answer the following:
- What triggers this Mini-Self to appear?
- What does it usually say or do?
- What is it trying to protect you from?
- What does it need from you right now?
Use the space below to reflect:
Mini-Self 1 Reflection:
Name: ____________________________
Trigger: ____________________________
Behaviors: ____________________________
Protection: ____________________________
Needs: ____________________________
Mini-Self 2 Reflection:
Name: ____________________________
Trigger: ____________________________
Behaviors: ____________________________
Protection: ____________________________
Needs: ____________________________
Mini-Self 3 Reflection:
Name: ____________________________
Trigger: ____________________________
Behaviors: ____________________________
Protection: ____________________________
Needs: ____________________________
