Chapter 13

A Pure Knight’s Natural Enemy [Konosuba] by Agrippa

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Missables.

The scourge of all RPG players everywhere.

Look, I’m far from advocating that RPGs go the route of visual novels. If I want to read a
book, unlike many other gamers, I will. And if I want to jack off for hours to unanimated
stills accompanied by overly verbose, descriptive text that is horribly ill-suited for a visual
medium and clearly tells us that the scenario writer just really, really wants people to notice
that he’s there, competing with the waifu tits, I also will do just that. Heck, unlike some
gamers, I’ll even confess it.

But.

Missables.

All right, fine; I admit that they add some spice to the genre. They’re just a part of the
freedom of choice that should be a fundamental part of the experience. Some things are just a
logical consequence of the player’s choices, and that’s, while at times infuriating, perfectly
natural.

Heck, Chrono Trigger itself makes great use of the concept. Magus, the Vegeta of the setting,
is a missable character. You can absolutely tell him that you’d rather not be involved with a
megalomaniac who would risk an entire planet for his sister like somebody who has read too
many mangas with questionable insights into healthy family dynamics, and he will listen.

Then he will immediately try to kill you, but, eh, I’m kinda used to that happening when
people listen to me, so the game was, in my experience, pretty realistic.

So. That’s one way to make missables mesh with the experience and get you invested: when
they stem directly from your choices and have a measurable, direct impact on the plot.

Then we have more questionable examples, like FFVI.

Right, drop the pitchforks and torches. Yes, FFVI is possibly the best example of what a
Final Fantasy game should be. The franchise arguably peaked at the time, and I could go
through the opera segment again and again before I learned that YouTube playthroughs are a
thing that saves on both time and carpal tunnel syndrome.

But you can miss Shadow.

How can you miss Shadow?

By doing a timed event too fast.

Which… okay, it makes sense in context. You’re fleeing from the proverbial ‘collapsing
enemy lair’ after the ninja has stayed behind to hold back the said enemy, and it’s not like the
game doesn’t hint at you having to wait for Shadow to make his escape, but you have to let
the timer run down until there are only five seconds left. Do you know what it’s like for the
average gamer to just sit still while numbers go down without doing anything at all? Do you
know the strain that puts on a young, impressionable mind? The sheer cruelty of stripping
away childhood innocence and replacing it with the cold realization that what happens in
your life is out of your control, and sometimes the only thing you can do is watch powerlessly
as life passes you by, uncaring of your wants and desires?

Huh. That actually seems like a good lesson to learn early on. I’m starting to think that
Megumin should’ve played FFVI.

Not Aqua, though. Her learning impairments would just turn the struggle into pointless
cruelty.

Anyway! Those are missables that make sense. The player can make mistakes, yes, but at no
point could they not look back on those events and say they didn’t have a choice, that their
mistakes were not their own, which is just the kind of sadism I would expect from a true RPG
game developer.

But then there are the other missables.

Like 100% completion being locked away if you ever skipped a character’s line. Like a bonus
dungeon that can only be reached by beating a timer that doesn’t even account for how long it
takes to watch the cutscenes. Like the best weapon in the game being lost forever if you loot
a fucking random vase at the start of the game.

So. Yes.

Missables.

They, at times, make sense. Thematically and in regard to the plot.

At other times?

Well, I’m not about to rage-quit, but I’m most definitely not sitting back passively and letting
another one turn to ashes over my reaching hands.
“Get her!” I say at the loudest setting of my orcish lungs, stirring Darkness to action as Chris
remains frozen among the fluttering sakura blossoms—I mean, the contents of my shared
underwear drawer.

“Aaaaahhhhh!” Chris says as she gets out of the stun status effect and bolts toward the open
window.

“What is even going on?!” Darkness says as her stirring to action proves somewhat
inadequate due to her still being trapped in an impromptu mating press under me until I
promptly and generously decide to solve such a state of affairs just to make her feel useful
and appreciated.

By, you know, getting her off my cock and throwing her at Chris’ retreating back.

As one does.

Truly, I’m such a caring and gentle boyfriend. I’m going to be taken advantage of if I keep
just acting on instinct to fulfill my lovers’ desires, be they unstated or not.

“Aaaahhhh! Kazuma, what the Hell?!” Darkness says, persisting on being unstated with her
desires while Chris’ arm twitches over my unmade bed, about the only visible part of the
thief’s body that is not buried under a voluptuous blonde—an enviable condition for which I
selflessly will refuse her boundless gratitude.

“She’s a metal slime! Get her!” I say to clarify matters.

“A what?” Darkness says, clearly unclarified.

“A rare encounter that gives ludicrous amounts of XP, but that usually runs away before you
can defeat it!”

“She’s Chris! How are you even planning on defeating Chris?!”

“Well, I was thinking that my cock—”

It is at that moment that one of my pillows impacts my face and is gored on my tusks, filling
my mouth with feathers and throwing me into a combination of a coughing and sniffling fit.

Given that Darkness is, well, Darkness, I suspect that the pillow-thrower may have slightly
better aim. Which implies that Chris has already freed her other arm and, thus, the timer
before she runs away is quickly being exhausted.

Shit, did throwing Darkness count as the first turn of combat? It’s only a matter of time, then!

So it is that, filled with the urgency that can never be found in any turn-based system other
than the Active Time Battle system (particularly those sadistic enough not to pause the filling
action gauge while navigating menus), I almost trip on my stately toga before I blindly
stumble toward the last known location of the girls wrestling and pillow-fighting on my bed
in a way that is, hopefully, not quite Yunyun and Megumin-like.
Or it hopefully is.

Look, let’s just say that both my libido and feelings may still be a bit raw after the revelation
that I can feel jealous about two girls I fuck fucking one another.

Yes. Fucking. That’s the only part of the situation that concerns me. Platonic love would not
bother me at all, particularly when it comes to the lily genre that so often exemplifies such a
pure expression of feelings.

Ugh.

Feelings.

“Chris! Stop thrashing around!” Darkness yells like a half-naked, cum-dripping woman
making a very reasonable request from another woman she’s holding down at the behest of a
rape orc.

“Aaaaaaahhhhh!” Chris retorts like somebody who’s not quite thinking about love of the
Platonic persuasion.

Maybe of the forceful persuasion, though.

“Calm down!” Darkness says, showing yet again how sheltered her upbringing has been,
seeing as nobody ever taught her how counterproductive it is to tell a woman to calm down.

Or a man, I guess.

… Look, I never said that gender equality wasn’t challenging, you know?

Anyway, the important thing is that I’m about to overcome my pillow-induced status effect
and that I’ve managed to blindly navigate toward my bed to—

Ouch.

At the flaring agony spreading from my massive-weak-point-sized testes, I drop to my knees,

the now empty pillowcase fluttering down from my tusks as my eyes water enough that a few
feathers stick to the falling tears in a fashionable display that I’m sure I’ll be more
appreciative of as soon as my world isn’t filled with sheer agony.

Sheer, red-hot, boiling agony that spreads from between my balls and up my spine as my
belly seems to be filled with an orb of molten lead that is, somehow, frozen, and I go from
kneeling on the floor to lying sideways on it, slowly yet inexorably folding my body into the
protective position universally adopted while in one’s mother’s womb, the safest place in
existence as long as your mother isn’t a chain-smoking alcoholic.

Dear Mother back on Earth, I’m sorry to have deprived you for months of the taste of
alcohol, as I have come to appreciate the beverage’s conscience-numbing effects since I
finally managed to get blackout drunk in a cruel world that is making me wish very dearly to
be blackout drunk at this very moment.

“Ka… Kazuma?” a distant, unrecognizable voice that I dearly hope is not my mother asks.

“I… I’m sorry. Backstab triggered, and, well, you didn’t see the attack coming, so… Uh…”
another voice that, for unknown reasons, triggers a flash of pure hatred that manages to
briefly overcome the pain that defines my whole existence hesitatingly says.

“I don’t think he’s listening,” the first voice says, the words worryingly matching those of my
mother.

“Should… Should we get Aqua?” the second voice far more worryingly offers.

“Ggg… hnnn…” I eloquently protest.

“Maybe… Maybe I can take care of him?” the voice that I’m now praying isn’t my mother’s
says as two strong hands push my knees apart to reveal the part of me that I’m desperately
trying to protect from a cosmos set on rejoicing at my suffering.

“What do you—oh,” the second voice says as the first…

Kisses it and makes it better?

Right. Now I’m definitely hoping she isn’t my mother.

Sadly, my orcish pride doesn’t share my version of filial piety because the cultured readings
of Confucius, much like any cultured reading other than those consumed by the Goddess of
Lazy Dungeon Design, never reached this land of barbarians. So it is that, with no common
cultural background from which to draw upon, I’m unclear on how likely it is for a local
mother to tenderly kiss her son’s scrotum.

Given everything else that I’ve come to learn about the dark workings of this reality, I will
take an educated guess and conclude that it is pretty damn likely.

So it is with both urgency and panic that I open my eyes to find…

Darkness.

Still half-naked, on all fours, her round, bare behind felinely swaying side to side above her
head as she slowly kisses and tongues the wrinkled skin of my ball sack, her sinuous back
only covered by her flipped, rumpled miniskirt and by the stretched band under her breasts
that is now her top.

Darkness slowly trailing her gloved hands up the inside of my thighs until she reaches the
base of my steadily growing cock, gently holding it in a grasp that is far steadier than what
she uses with her sword and running both thumbs up and down the underside of my shaft as it
keeps stiffening with each throb of rushing blood through her grip.

And Chris.
Who, for some mysterious reason, brings up a dark, unfathomable rage in my chest that
forces me to grab her top and drag the skimpily dressed rogue on top of me until her wide,
panicked eyes are right in front of mine.

And no, this time, Mysterious Reason isn’t my penis.

It’s my balls.

“You get here to steal my underwear—” I start, listing her sins from lesser to greater.

“I was just recovering my panties!”

“Get your voyeuristic rocks off to my girlfriend and I—”

“I—I was just behind the door! It was awkward! I didn’t even peek that much—”

“And then you kick me in the nuts!”

At that, the scar-faced bandit with a better cleavage (if only barely) blinks at me.

Then she looks down at where Darkness is loudly kissing it and making it better.

For a, you know, certain definition of ‘better.’

(One that I agree with.)

It is with no small amount of surprise that I witness Chris’ reaction to Darkness lavishing my
orcish pride with languorous affection. That is: blushing down to the top of her breasts before
violently trying to get away from my solid grip on the black piece of cloth straining to cover
up those very breasts.

“Let go!” she, rather redundantly, given her unequivocal non-verbal cues, says.

“No way! Stay and get punished!” I say, as steadfast a defender of justice as I’ve ever been.

“You aren’t going to discipline me with your cock!” she says, lying through her teeth.

“I was thinking about starting with a spank!” I say, strictly factual.

“Aaaahhhh! I won’t let you! I won’t let you lock me in a pillory, on my knees for days on end
as you keep playing with my behind for hours and hours, teasing me until my thighs quiver
and I forget even how to speak before you drive your thick shaft up my virgin pussy!”

She says.

… And I must reluctantly admit that she’s somewhat factual.

Mostly because I don’t have a pillory, so she wins this particular argument by default.

“Kazuma! Kazuma!” Darkness says, her interest predictably perked.

“Yes, yes, we’ll buy a pillory as soon as we repay the damn bridge,” I say, immediately
caving in to my adorable, maid-cosplaying, masochistic girlfriend like a beta cuck male who
has lost his spine somewhere in the middle of the latest consentacle orgy that he was the main
character of.

“Wha—no!” Chris protests. “You’re not supposed to be aroused by this! Not until he starts
forcing you to enjoy yourself despite your vigorous protests!”

I… blink at her.

“Chris… Have you ever been to the Dungeon of Interspecies Harmony?” I innocently ask a
woman who quite suddenly stops struggling altogether.

“That old, sealed dungeon nobody knows anything about? Why would I?” she answers like
somebody who has a very high bluff skill.

And my eyes narrow.

“Because it’s an old, sealed dungeon. And you’re an adventurer,” I say with a low growl that
has nothing to do with me being miffed at Darkness having stopped her oral care of my battle
injuries.

“I… Well, yes, but I would rather go after more reliable sources of income—”

“You’re a thief, Chris.”

“Hey! I just came here for my panties!”

“No. Your class. You’re a rogue. The kind of adventurer who would go to a sealed dungeon
in a heartbeat.”

“I see your point, but could we maybe not discuss this while you two are aggressively
naked?” she asks, cunningly changing the subject.

“I don’t mind!” Darkness cheerfully says.

“She doesn’t mind,” I gruffly state.

“I do mind!” Chris lies.

“Oh, fine,” I say, rolling my eyes and giving her what she asks for.

That is: tearing her top apart with a twist of my wrist.

“Aaaaahhh! What the hell are you doing, you brute!” the silver-haired, blushing, self-
proclaimed virgin says as she covers two budding breasts that look somewhat bigger than
expected due to their eye-catching perkiness before she bends forward, her green half-cape
fluttering about her shoulders until she ends up unwittingly burying her face on my mostly
bare chest.
“You were uncomfortable at being the only one of us fully clothed. I’m hospitably helping
you feel more at ease,” I say as I take the chance to wrap the back of her head with my right
hand and push her closer against me.

“Hmmmmphhhh!” Chris says, clearly too overcome with my consideration to put her feelings
into words.

“Kazuma…” Darkness says from between my legs and behind my cock, an adorable pout on
her lips that…

Damn it.

That beta cuck male thing may be truer than expected.

So I sigh deeply enough that Chris’ unbelievably soft hair flutters between my fingers, and
then I let her go.

“Grab one of my shirts,” I say as she falls down to sit on her knees by my side, her blushing
face now buried in her hands. “It’s not like they’re doing me any good.”

And now Darkness smiles up at me with both affection and pride. Which, yes, it’s
heartwarming, but not as much as the way her eyes widen when I reach down to grab the
sides of her face and push her down to force her to swallow my cock.

“Wha—what the hell…” Chris starts to protest.

And then stops.

Stops and starts breathing deeply and ragged, her eyes locked on Darkness closing her own
and moaning as the blonde’s tongue goes wild over my opening, taking away every trace of
cum that I hadn’t poured inside of her moments ago.

And Chris…

Her hands are on my chest, and she’s facing Darkness, slowly nearing my cock, deep breaths
clearly audible as I catch glimpses of her swaying breasts when her half-cape shifts as she
crawls over me.

Over my arm.

Down my chest.

Down my belly.

And I…

I let go of Darkness, and my girlfriend opens her lidded eyes, shooting me a smoldering
glance that slowly turns toward her thieving friend before she slowly retreats up my very
much erect cock, holding it at the base with a single hand that points it toward the silver-
haired, blushing woman.

“See?” she says, her tone more seductive than I’ve ever heard. “See what you peeked on from
that alley window? From the backroom of Wiz’s store?”

Chris licks her lips before nodding.

And I throb.

Three dollops of precum flow out of my glans in quick succession, running down my shaft
and over Darkness’ fingers, her white gloves absorbing just enough of the fluid to darken
before my girlfriend leans forward and licks a single drop of my it, shivering in what I think
may be exaggerated delight (I’m not about to test taste myself, thank you very much) before
slowly dragging her hand up, collecting all the moisture over her fingers and then leaving my
cock behind, pinching her forefinger and thumb together only to spread them open to let a
single thread of glistening precum arch between them.

And she slowly, deliberately, nears Chris’ mouth with her offering.

Smiling all the way.

“Can you… smell it?” Darkness says.

Chris slowly nods, her breathing louder. Faster.

“Do you want it?” my girlfriend offers.

And her friend who’s a girl…

She looks back at me, over her shoulder, her cheeks flushed, beads of sweat on her forehead,
her lips just slightly parted, and her eyes…

Dear God, her eyes.

A shade of violet that perfectly compliments the slight tinge of her silver hair, lowered lids
that tell me that the time for banter, for words, is over, and a sheer intensity that makes me
bite my lower lip in a mix of intimidation and expectation.

Then, without looking away from me, she slowly stretches her red tongue past her soft lips,
invitingly wagging it in the air until Darkness’ smile broadens, and she reaches forward with
her stretched hand, turning it aside so that the dangling arc of precum swings over Chris’
tongue.

And she licks up.

Her eyes finally close as a shudder runs down her spine, culminating in her petite derriere
shaking right by the side of my face, and the thief moans before it turns into a delighted purr,
her lapping tongue drawing in the twin, glittering threads from Darkness’ hand until Chris
follows them up to the offered fingers, slowly licking around a wet thumb before taking it
past her lips and into her mouth, her cheeks suckling inwards as Darkness takes a staggered
breath that makes her breasts ripple behind my cock.

It takes everything I have, and the recent memory of excruciating pain, to keep the last
bindings of sanity inside my head from outright snapping.

They, instead, kind of slacken.

Which is why I palm Chris’ round ass, her arms twitching and making her own dangling
breasts quiver as I squeeze over the rough, denim-like texture of the maddeningly short pants
she usually wears.

“Kazuma…” she murmurs.

“This is just the start,” Darkness says, eyes yet again half-lidded, a smile of unambiguous
enjoyment on her lips. “This is just the tiniest bit of what he can force your body to feel.
Because soon he will kiss you right in front of me, content with letting me sloppily finger
myself to the sight of my best friend being ravished by my boyfriend. He will thrust his
tongue in your mouth, and you’ll get drunk on his saliva, your thoughts wrapped in a warm
daze as his hands roughly handle your body, moving you like a doll. He’ll make you ache,
Chris; he will have your lower, slutty hole spread wide open for him as your brain can only
think about his thick, impossibly hard cock taking you, filling you, filling that void you never
noticed was there until his red-hot tip is at your lips, demanding entry, demanding that you be
reshaped to his whim.”

I… blink at Darkness.

She beams.

And Chris looks very, very alarmed.

“I… I just… I mean, it was hot to watch, but I am not—he’s your boyfriend!” Chris yells.

“And you’re my best friend,” Darkness says with a dreamy tone that coincides with her right
hand lightly grasping me yet again, moving up and down along my shaft in a way that is
more maddening than satisfying. “I want to see how he fills you, Chris. I want to see your
eyes go from me to him and stay on his. I want his cock to take you away from me. I want to
watch as you fall, loudly yelling how much his cock means to you, how much you want him
to stuff you full of his cum and never stop, not even when you faint from sheer pleasure, only
to wake up bouncing on top of him, your limp body in his hands used to jack his cock off as I
just watch, masturbating like crazy on our bed while you two ignore me.”

So, about that thing that didn’t snap earlier? Remaining sanity, yada-yada?

Yeah, about that…

“Hmph!” Darkness says, her tirade thankfully stopped as I just start fucking her mouth.

“Hn!” Chris says as my fingers dig deeper into her soft behind, my thumb finding an
increasingly damp spot between her thighs.
“Fuck!” I roar as I feel the urge to shoot my load down Darkness’ cooperative throat come
sooner than expected.

And then I’m saved from the shameful fate of prematurely ejaculating into a willing
cumdumpster by Chris reaching forward and pushing Darkness away, leaving my cock
quiveringly hard between the two of them as my girlfriend, pleasantly flushed, grins at her
best friend.

“Jealous already?” she asks, biting her lower lip before reaching out with her tongue to lick
away the traces of precum around her mouth.

“I… I…” Chris says. “Hn!” she adds when I force my thumb around the leg opening of her
shorts and past the side of her panties to meet damp, warm, soft flesh.

“One of you is going to finish the job before I have to get rough,” I say with as deep a tone as
this body can—

“Kazuma! Kazuma!” Darkness predictably says, still sitting on her knees, her hands by the
side of her face, her arms pressing down on her breasts, and bouncing up and down
distractingly.

“… Getting rough wasn’t supposed to be an incentive, Darkness,” I mumble.

And she pouts, which, really, that’s just quickly becoming her own way of saying, ‘Please
fuck my throat raw until I end up drinking each and every dollop of delicious cum stored in
your balls.’ Being in a committed relationship and developing a common, shared language is
heartwarming like that.

“Can you… stop?” Chris hisses out.

Which manages to tear my attention away from the girl with both neglect play and cuckquean
fetishes, quickly satisfying the two urges as I focus on another woman and once again
proving just how considerate of a friend Chris can be when not creepily rummaging through a
poor man’s underwear drawer.

Really, I wish Dust was half as considerate toward my own needs and desires. Just not
enough to go the Vanir-chan route; I already have enough confused sexuality to last me a
lifetime with a single instance of that happening.

“Stop what?” I finally say.

“Fucking my tight, virgin pussy with your thick, orcish thumb,” she says through gritted
teeth.

That, predictably, causes my cock to throb hard enough that… well…

“Aaaaah!” Chris says, covering her face with one arm as my area of effect precum sprinkler
triggers.
“Hn!” Darkness replies with her eyes closed in ecstasy as she gathers everything splattered on
her face with her gloved hands before slowly, temptingly, licking them as thoroughly as Aqua
would the bottom of a glass of whiskey whenever she couldn’t afford a second one.

Yes. In public.

Let’s just say that there are some bars I no longer want to be seen in.

Though, well, now I have a different body, heck, a different race. Surely, none of those
waiters will think to associate me with the guy offering to mop up divine vomit in exchange
for a meager discount?

“Ah! Kazuma! Fuck!” Chris protests as my thumb keeps idly ‘fucking her tight, virgin
pussy.’

“Well, yes, I’m most definitely about to fuck you, but I’m a firm believer in the tenet that
foreplay is a vital part of lovemaking, and I wouldn’t want to have my girlfriend’s best friend
come out of here with anything but the best, most memorable experience I can offer her, so
said fucking will have to wait.”

“What—ah! I—I’m not used to this! Please, be—hn! Gentle! Be gentle!”

“What’s this, Chris? Do you want me to slowly lay you down on my bed and explore your
body at your own pace, letting you get comfortable with each and every touch until you melt
under my hands and you’re finally ready to take my whole cock in?”

“That’s—that’s not what quite I’m saying—”

“Well, too bad! Maybe you shouldn’t have kicked my balls in if you wanted me to be lovey-
dovey!” I tell her.

And then I roughly thrust my thumb as far in as it can reach, which is a sizeable portion of
what my human cock would have managed, so it’s no surprise (yet still flattering) when Chris
arches her back and howls at my ceiling as her hand on my stomach and her single knee on
my chest quiver.

Or, well, at least she howls as much as she can until Darkness shoots forward and
enthusiastically, dare I say aggressively, shuts Chris down.

With plenty of tongue.

My stiff cock presses against Darkness shifting, taut belly, and she holds Chris up while the
rogue slowly melts into limpness, falling forward and against the blonde, their breasts
pressing together as her sex forcefully clenches down on my thumb until I decide to give her
a brief respite (emphasis on ‘brief’) and gently guide her hips down without taking the finger
out of her folds, Chris now kneeling on top of me, arched between my hand on her pussy and
Darkness’ tongue in her mouth.

Then Darkness, making use of her grotesque STR stat, pulls away, still holding Chris up with
both hands, and looks down at her with a smile that quivers on both corners.
Which I take as my cue to get my finger out of Chris’ warm folds and enjoy the sight of the
disheveled, insensate, mischievous rogue who has, at times, cheekily gotten me into enough
trouble to cement the fond memories of our own traditions.

Traditions that I decide to honor.

“Steal!” I yell as I waggle the fingers of the hand not cupping her petite behind.

And then, immediately, the possibly most valuable treasure I’ve ever gotten from Chris
appears in my hands.

They are very lacy. Let’s just say that the dampness doesn’t particularly contribute to making
them any more transparent.

They’re also a t-back thong. Which explains how easy it was for me to bypass its meager
protection so that I could properly fingerfuck Chris, a circumstance that I’m inclined to
believe was far from fortuitous.

I lament the lack of pockets in my improvised toga (something that may have contributed to
the fall of the Roman Empire) before swiftly throwing the balled piece of valuable clothing
on top of the pile of discarded underwear already littering the floor and decide that I’ll set on
a proper cataloging system in the near future.

But, for now…

“Steal,” I murmur.

And Chris’ shorts fall into my hands, leaving the slender girl completely naked except for her
half cape, the shredded remains of her top, her short boots, and knee-high socks that, quite
honestly, only add to the appeal.

I lick my lips at the sight of an ass that I’ve contemplated plenty of times before, yet always
sadly covered, before I can no longer be satisfied with mere contemplation, and I grasp her
waist to raise her still limp body and set her down on my—

“No,” Darkness tells me, her hand on Chris’ lower belly pushing back so I can’t get her in her
proper place: on top of my cock.

“What? But you said—”

“Not until she can answer, Kazuma,” my girlfriend says.

I… blink at her.

I think I’ve been doing that a lot today.

“Are you saying—Darkness, she couldn’t be more on board with this. She basically quoted
dubcon doujins since we started.”

“What is a dubcon doujin?” Darkness asks with a slight, adorable frown.

“Are you—oh, for fuck’s… Oi, Chris, wake up and tell your best friend about all the porn
you’ve been hiding from her.”

“I am not hiding any porn!” the rogue immediately proclaims like somebody who may have a
very high bluff skill, but that just also orgasmed and was then tongue-fucked by an
enthusiastic Darkness, thus acquiring a substantial circumstantial penalty to her rolls.

“Really,” I dryly state.

“Porn? I… Chris, what is he—”

“No porn at all! I’m a virginal, pure goddess who would never dream of touching herself
while peeping on her most devout follower!”

I blink.

So does Darkness.

Chris is somewhat slow to join in but then makes up for it with a luminescent blush that
reaches up to her eartips.

“Goddess?” I say, slowly pondering on the advancement of breast-padding technology.

“Peeping?” Darkness squeaks.

“Ha,” Chris vocalizes in a rather poor attempt at a laugh. “Ha. Ha. Just… just kidding around.
I mean, I do have the body of a goddess, don’t I? Kazuma?” she says, batting her eyelashes at
me over her shoulder while still suspended halfway through her transport to the only Divine
Defiler that I’m aware of.

“Well, yes. Of one particular goddess—” I start to say, my eyes drifting to a perky behind
that may have been temptingly pointed at me by somebody bent over a throne in the recent
past.

And Chris’ eyes widen in panic and all but beg me to shut up.

‘Later,’ she vocalizes before adopting a rictus-like smile and turning to face Darkness.

“So, how about that, old pal? Up to me fucking your boyfriend dry while we ignore that you
exist?” she says in a somewhat clumsy yet perfectly aimed attempt at diverting attention.

And Darkness tackles her.

This, somehow, ends up with two women lying on top of me in various states of undress, a
situation that I’m increasingly familiar with but that I’ve yet to grow tired of.

The harem route does present its challenges, but lack of variety isn’t one of them.
“You…” Darkness says, intensely staring at the woman trapped under her, hands on both
cheeks, holding Chris still, the two of them only moving due to the rise and fall of my own
chest.

“I… Darkness, I…” she says.

“Thank you,” my girlfriend says.

And then she drops down, hugs her oldest friend tight enough that I hear a pained gasp, and
cries.

A situation that I’m distressingly familiar with and that I am getting somewhat tired of, but,
really, if somebody had told me that a female adventurer with torn clothes would start crying
right before getting impaled on my orcish member, I would have assumed such a state of
affairs to be the natural order of things.

Just… without all the feelings.

***

We’re sitting down on my bed, Darkness between the two of us, both her hands held by me
and Chris, Eris, or whatever her real name is.

“I’m sorry,” the deity says.

Darkness shakes her head, still not looking up from her naked lap, where four hands rest on
warm, soft thighs.

“I… I didn’t mean to fool you. Okay, that is a lie, but I just… I didn’t want it to hurt,” she
insists.

And Darkness…

She shakes her head once again, her golden ponytail falling down over her right shoulder, a
curtain of golden tresses over her pale breast lit up by the indirect sun coming in from the
open window to her left, past the foot of her bed.

“Thank you,” she finally repeats, her voice slightly hoarse.

And I sigh.

Because I know where this is going, and I’m going to be confused and threatened by it, even
as a purer, nobler part of me rejoices at the mere idea.

“That’s not what you say to somebody who loves you, Darkness,” I gently whisper into her
ear as I keep futilely brushing her long hair over the adorably round ridge of cartilage.

“What?” she says, turning to me until I let go of her hand to clasp her chin with two fingers
and then lead her to meet Chris’ fascinatingly violet eyes.
“What you are supposed to say is ‘I love you too,’” I tell her, hoping that divine senses won’t
pick up on either the words or the hidden tone that I try to keep from them.

“I… Kazuma, what are you…” Darkness says, the slightest pressure hinting at her trying to
turn away from wide, sparkling eyes and toward mine.

So, without letting go of her chin, I reach around her back and grasp Chris’ shoulder,
dragging the goddess’ avatar, or whatever the heck she’s pulling, forward until they’re almost
touching. Almost kissing.

Just…

This time, I don’t say the line. I don’t say anything outrageous. Because Yunyun and
Megumin both knew deep down what there was between them, and I could just lose myself in
the moment and be the infuriating asshole I needed to be to have a threesome with them as
Aqua masturbated. So that I could navigate the confused mess of emotions that the damn
chuuni duo made me feel at that moment.

I don’t say, ‘Now, kiss.’

I just…

Wait.

Because Chris knows what she feels. But Darkness still doesn’t.

Neither do I, to be honest, but it all just seems so… inevitable.

“I… I watched. You. I watched you for a long time,” the goddess finally says, breaking the
silence.

“My Lady, I—”

“No. No, please, not from you,” she immediately says, something watery in her eyes and
smile as she raises their joined hands to kiss Darkness’ knuckles.

“But—”

“Please. Call me Eris. Or Chris. Call me whatever you want, but not ‘My Lady.’ Nothing that
makes me feel distant from you.”

It takes a great deal of effort not to suggest that Darkness calls her ‘Kazuma’s Cockwarmer,’
but I, somehow, succeed.

Mostly because there’s something warm and scratchy stuck in my throat that I’m trying very
hard to ignore.

“I was alone,” Darkness says. “I was alone, and then… then I wasn’t. Because of you.”
Chris’ eyes waver, her tongue nervously licking her lips as she tries to keep her smile in
place.

Then…

Then the hand that isn’t holding Darkness’ reaches up to her cheek, and I know what she’s
seeing in Darkness-blue eyes. I know what Darkness sees reflected in the violet ones looking
up at her so tenderly and intently.

So I keep holding both of them.

For now.

“It was almost a whim. I… I liked you. Your spirit. Your heart. I liked the brave, noble girl
who was so devoted to her ideals, even if slightly silly at times. So I decided to… to meet
you. Be the friend you wanted.”

Darkness nods.

And Chris closes her eyes as her lips keep spilling words she’s held onto for years.

“Then I met you,” she whispers, breathily. “And… You were so much more, Darkness. I
just… I couldn’t stay away. Even after you found real friends—”

“You were real. My first real friend.”

Chris opens her eyes, her smile softening.

“I’m a terrible friend, Darkness,” she says.

And then softly kisses my girlfriend.

Not with the heated lust that Darkness did earlier, eager to add yet another body to the pile of
whatever it is that our bed’s gonna turn into. Not lost in the moment and acting her part in the
never-ending orgy my life has now become.

But…

For real.

And I don’t know if Darkness understands the difference. If she knows what it means that
Chris’ lips softly meet her own before briefly retreating with a shy smile and an apologetic
look thrown my way before her eyes close and she tilts her head to the left, pressing more
firmly against my girlfriend, the hand on Darkness’ cheek going around and to her nape.

I don’t know if Darkness understands the soft murmur escaping from between tender lips
brushing past one another. If she understands the sheer devotion contained in each and every
one of Chris’ hesitating caresses.

But I do.
And… And this time around, it’s…

It’s not that different from what it was earlier in the morning, witnessing Megumin and
Yunyun being so loving with one another to the point of ignoring me after what we went
through yesterday.

It’s not that different.

But it is.

Because it’s Darkness.

So I brush her hair away from her shoulder, carefully pulling the ponytail back between us
before I lean down to softly kiss the side of her neck, letting go of her chin to rest my open
palm on her belly, feeling her flesh quiver a single time when she feels my chest pressing
against her back.

Because I can let Chris in, but I can’t let Darkness go.

Darkness mumbles something that doesn’t make it past their joined lips before she pulls
away, the back of her head resting against my chest, Chris’ hand trapped between us.

And… And Darkness shakes her head.

I don’t see her expression, but I see Chris’. I see the way the goddess’ mouth parts and
quivers, the way something in her eyes dulls.

And then Darkness speaks, still shaking her head even as she cups her friend’s cheek with the
hand that isn’t trembling with something restrained as it holds the other.

“It’s not supposed to be like this,” she says, her voice anguished. “You’re… You’re supposed
to fall for him, and then we’ll share him and just… We’d be together. We’d both be his
girlfriends, and in love with the same man, and share his bed, and live together, and… And
you’d never leave me because we’d share him, and… And…”

“Darkness, I—” Chris says, her fingers trying to be gentle and reassuring between my chest
and my girlfriend’s nape.

“No! No, I—don’t. I just… You can love him. We all can love him. That’s… That’s easy,
isn’t it? Isn’t it?” she asks, making something in my chest clench as Chris’ eyes briefly meet
mine.

And then the goddess licks her lips yet again, looking at the hand still inside of Darkness’
grip, and…

“No. Not half as easy as loving you,” she says.

And kisses my girlfriend.

Rougher. Demanding. Her mouth open and her tongue pushing in as Darkness tries to retreat
into my unyielding chest.

And I could…

I could do a lot of things. I could take her away, could hoard her for myself. Heck, I could
even hold her up and out of the short thief’s reach as if taunting a dumb, demonic kitten.

I don’t.

I, instead, smile.

And push them away.

“Stop. Not until she can answer,” I chidingly tell the goddess as I stand between the two
beautiful, functionally naked women.

“I… Kazuma, I’m sorry; I’ve tried to hold back for so long—” a lost goddess says with
pleading eyes.

“I know. I understand. But she doesn’t.”

I turn aside to look at the bewildered, maid-cosplaying woman whose eyes go from her best
friend to her boyfriend, trying to understand that, yes, she’s loved and wanted, and that it
wasn’t a fluke the first time around.

I mean, she’s a big-titted masochist. Who doesn’t love a big-titted masochist?

No, Vanir-chan, that’s not a suggestion.

“Kazuma, what are you—”

“I’m not special,” I say.

Darkness immediately arches a skeptic eyebrow before very pointedly looking down at a
show of orcish pride that doesn’t care for mood and setting so long as there are hot
adventurer women to ravish.

I facepalm.

“What I mean to say is that I’m not that… Gods, I was trying to be nice and setting up a
dramatic line; why are you like this?!” I say, throwing my hands up.

“I don’t know! I thought you liked me this way!” Darkness answers with a hint of anger and
her own hand-throwing that has the added, unfair bonus of making her breasts jiggle.

“Of course I do! That’s what I meant: I’m not special, and everybody can see what I see
when I look at you! It isn’t weird that Chris here has been touching herself to your prayers
every damn night!”
“Wha—not every night! Just… Well, sometimes she can get very graphic when asking for
things, and I—” my second voyeuristic goddess says, protesting too much.

“Shut up. You’re paying for the pillory.”

“Excuse me, I am what?!”

“You put that idea into the impressionable masochist’s head, so now you’re paying for it—”

“I am not—I didn’t put any ideas into… That’s…”

“That’s what you get for pilfering the Goddess of Transparent Porn Excuses’ library.”

“… You’re gonna have to narrow that down.”

“The dungeon! That was clearly inspired by doujins! And every single thing you’ve said
about how sex should work tells me that that’s where you’ve gotten your sorely lacking sex
education.”

“I… I mean… Isn’t it… Why would so many stories agree that that’s how it works if it
wasn’t true?” a fidgeting, petite woman asks.

I blink at her.

Then I look at Darkness.

“See? She was asking for it!” I say, being perfectly factual and not at all legally liable for my
actions.

Darkness slaps her forehead and groans.

No, I don’t know why either. Women are a perennial mystery.

“What are you talking about?” Chris asks with the tone of somebody who’s no longer sure
where the conversation is going or, indeed, if that’s the conversation she meant to be in rather
than one she inadvertently stepped into after getting turned around in the ever-confusing
transit systems of countries where women do not get their own train carriages.

“While you were enjoying your orgasmic bliss at being tongue-fucked by your long-time
flame, I was about to spear you open on my cock, but Darkness misguidedly made me wait
until you recovered so that you could give me verbal, unequivocal, yet somehow still clearly
dubcon-themed consent,” I patiently explain.

And Chris blinks at me.

Then, at my orcish pride.

Then back at me.

By the time she repeats the whole cycle, she’s both blushing and on the verge of
hyperventilating.

“Wha—I—I haven’t given you consent! Explicit or implicit!” she says, lying a bit more
easily than she breathes.

“Oh, really. Because your choice in underwear is perfectly casual and innocent,” I say with a
tone about as flat as Aqua’s electroencepha—never mind, that may be a tad too mean.

Just a tad, mind you.

“A girl can wear whatever panties she likes!” she says, offended on behalf of all womankind.

“Oh, I agree. Except that the first time that I accidentally stole your panties, they were cute if
a bit plain, and the last time I did, they were lace and string.”

“I… I just felt like being a bit more daring.”

“Daring enough to destroy the potion that would’ve turned me back into a human?”

“That was just for Darkness’ sake…”

“Really. And all the times you teased me in your throne, waving your perfect bubble butt at
me, all but begging me to spank you silly before railing you brainless?”

“I was… I…”

“You?”

“I just wanted to feel what Darkness liked so much!”

“What?” I ask.

“Eh?” Darkness more or less vocalizes.

“She kept gushing in her prayers! She went on, and on, and on about you, and how you make
her feel, and that… that thing between your legs. And I was curious, and maybe a bit excited,
and I just… I just wanted to feel closer to her…” Chris says.

And then she covers her eyes with her hands and goes silent as her shoulders shake with what
I dearly hope is silent laughter and mockery.

The brief exchange of glances with Darkness tells me that, while my hopes are shared, they
are also quite… well.

Hopeless.

“Chris?” my girlfriend asks, her voice low and tentative as she shuffles on our bed till her
bare thighs push against Chris’ knees.
Chris… just shakes her head.

“Chris, I… I don’t want to feel closer to you,” she says.

And Chris’s shaking gets worse before it forcibly stops.

But that’s when Darkness takes her wrists and pulls her hands away to look into violet eyes,
looming over the smaller girl as she keeps leaning down and getting closer.

“I want to be closer to you,” Darkness finally says.

And she pushes Chris down on our bed, the petite girl looking up in wonder as the taller one
gets on all fours over her before kissing her, the golden ponytail unspooling past her left
shoulder and falling by the side of Chris’ face as the goddess’ eyes regain a lost spark and her
arms wrap around…

My girlfriend.

And it is… It’s…

I don’t know what it is.

Because I like Darkness being loved. I like her finding somebody else who can reassure the
crazy weirdo that being idiosyncratically insane is all right, so long as you’re also somebody
like Darkness. That she can be loved as she is. That there’s nothing wrong with her and never
was.

I like Darkness being… happy.

But I don’t… I don’t know how I feel about sharing her. About giving her to—

There’s a hand grabbing my cock.

A hand insistently tugging on my cock.

So I let said hand and the blonde attached to it guide me toward where two sets of tender lips
are meeting.

“Wha—” Chris wonders.

“I’m his,” Darkness says. “I’m Kazuma’s masochistic sow, his slave, and whatever else he
wants to call me. I’m this cock’s sleeve, and I will sleep every night with it stretching me
around its thick shaft.”

I… blink at her, somewhat stunned at her masterful eloquence and not, you know, losing my
mind at both her touch and words.

Chris looks at her, wide-eyed, lips temptingly parted, breathing harsh and shallow.
And Darkness turns toward me to lay a single, wet, loving kiss on my tip before she loudly
slurps up the gathered precum.

“I’m devoted to this cock, Chris. I can’t falter in my duties,” she says, something manic in her
eyes.

Chris now looks at red lips smeared with something thick and glossy.

“And I…” Darkness hesitates, looking up into my eyes as if looking for permission or
inspiration.

So I nod.

And she smiles at me in a way that makes my cock throb a bit harder than her lips did a
moment ago.

“It is my solemn duty to satisfy this cock. To keep Kazuma’s monstrous urges in check. To
have all the other adventurers in Axel safe from his lustful appetites. It is a hard duty, and I…
I would… I would want a friend to assist me in it,” she says, going from ridiculously solemn
to hesitating and shy.

Chris, again, looks into Darkness-blue eyes, seeing what I know she’ll see: the sheer
earnestness that shines through everything else that Darkness does. The will to push past
everything she doesn’t want to accept, be it injustice of any kind or an arranged marriage.

“I’m a terrible friend, Darkness,” Chris slowly says, mournfully repeating what she said
before.

And Darkness nods.

“All right. Then… Then I’ll just have to make you something other than a friend.”

Chris gasps.

I don’t, but mostly because I’m holding my breath, and that’s just due to the gloved hand
lightly holding my cock and not at all because of…

Well.

You know.

Feelings.

“Does that mean…” Chris says, unable to finish the line.

“It… I… It means that… That I will… That I will…” Darkness-blue eyes look up at me,
frustrated and lost.

So I lay my hands on top of the girls’ heads, slowly caressing both short and long hair,
marveling at the contrast I hadn’t noticed between silver and gold.
I would never have guessed who the goddess was just with this.

“What my slave means is that… A slave can have a slave, Chris. So long as her master allows
it.”

“A slave?” the second goddess to give me a death glare asks.

So I nod.

“Darkness belongs to me. You belong to Darkness. Is that… Is that something you would
like?”

Chris’ eyes widen. Her tongue peeks out past her lips.

And she, slowly and minutely, nods.

Then Darkness beams at the girl trapped between her strong arms and beneath her colossal
chest and, with a cheerful tone that only hints at disaster waiting to happen, exclaims:

“Your safe word is ‘arranged marriage!’”

Before either Chris or I can react to the (not at all) shocking statement, she grabs the thief’s
head and pushes her down on my cock.

I hiss at the warm heat inside her mouth, but Chris is unresponsive, her eyes just wide and
crossed as she tries to stare at the thick shaft pushed past her lips. At least, until Darkness
demonstrates that she’s been paying attention to Yunyun and Megumin’s yuri-hetero
romance and starts kissing the side of her neck with soft, peppering touches of her lips that
keep going lower and lower until Chris reflexively gasps, her tongue meeting the tip of my
cock as her nostrils flare.

And then she goes wild.

She buries both of her hands in Darkness’ hair, immediately undoing her ponytail before
grabbing two fistfuls of blonde tresses and pulling the happily struggling crusader down to
the thief’s breasts as she starts bobbing her own head along my shaft, the two slender legs
peeking past Darkness’ body rubbing together as Chris moans loud enough that it vibrates
across my cock.

Then my orcish blood does what it’s supposed to do, my cock throbs, and more of my
precum spills into Chris’ mouth.

With predictable results.

In this particular instance? That one of her hands leaves Darkness’ hair before getting swiftly
buried into my girlfriend’s sex with a roughness that very few women would appreciate.

Thankfully, Darkness’ own moan clearly signals that she’s one of those women.

As for Chris?
With a titanic, nay, heroic effort of will, I take away my cock from her mouth, her glazed
eyes looking at me with heartbroken betrayal as I leave her eager lips behind.

And I kneel on my bed.

Behind Darkness’ swaying ass.

It, sadly, isn’t tracing the infinity symbol that the two goddesses I’ve met so unsubtly adopt
when trying to tempt me into railing them, which makes the next part rather easier than it
would otherwise be.

“Was it me?” I ask as I slide my hands under Darkness’ body to grab Chris’ slender hips.

“What?” she asks me before her eyes roll back for a moment when Darkness does a
presumably very Yunyun thing to her captive nipple.

“You thought about someone, someone I know, while touching yourself. Was it me?” I ask
yet again the question I asked in my two latest deaths, just for the sake of closure.

Chris licks her lips as she stares at the blonde tending to her. At her friend. At the girl she’s
been carrying a torch for since she decided to pass herself off as human.

Then she looks at me.

Violet eyes that I now recognize are actually amethyst. A spark in them that is not only the
mischief and cheekiness of the rogue who would at times show me a hidden, playful smile
only for the two of us.

A smile she now shows me, sticking out her tongue to mock me in a way that is far too
affectionate for me to be seriously offended.

“I mean…” she says, dithering just long enough that I squeeze her waist in silent warning.
“You were involved. At least lately.”

I chuckle.

And then I thrust in.

“Ah! Arranged marriage! Arranged marriage!”

“What the hell?! I’m not even fully in, woman!”

“You’re gonna tear me apart! That thing’s not human! I’m a petite, delicate flower, and
you’re stealing my chastity from me with your thick, brutish bitch-breaker!”

I blink at her.

Then I notice Darkness staring in admiration at the squirming thief that’s only half-impaled
on my orcish spear.
And I let go of her waist to facepalm.

“Chris… A safe word is something you use when you want things to seriously stop. If you
just want to pretend to be a helpless victim being ravaged by the big bad orc, you don’t use
your safe word.”

Chris blinks at me.

“Pretend?” she says, the fluttering of her eyelashes about as coquettish as half a Vanir-chan.

My eyebrow decides that it’s been a while since it did its proper set of reps and that it won’t
be ready for the big day if it doesn’t start training right away. Which is about the only reason
for it to start twitching.

And I push in.

Chris hisses, her hand on the back of Darkness’ head once more pulling her to her saliva-slick
breast, and my girlfriend dutifully tends to her friend as her strong hand slithers down their
bodies to meet the place where my cock is buried into Chris’ body, long, somewhat clumsy
fingers that are hilariously unsuited to swordsmanship finding something they are very
practiced in.

That is: female masturbation.

So Chris’ hips angle up, pressing her clitoris against Darkness’ fingers and pushing a bit more
of my cock inside of her.

And, well…

It is a divine pussy.

So I hold myself back from fucking her as roughly as she seems to want to be fucked when
her eyes lid, and she shows me yet another mocking grin, tongue peeking out included,
because it’s a grin that I know too much to take her seriously.

Because it’s…

Well, Chris.

And Eris.

And I don’t even know who’s the real one. I don’t know how much she plays up her
innocence and gentleness or her cunning side. I don’t know which of the two is a mask for
the other or if they’re just shards of the same amethyst.

But I know that I liked both of them from the start. That I’ve been about to do this very thing
to Eris two times already, that Chris peeking on me and Wiz added just that bit extra to the
experience, and that I wasn’t particularly furious when she shattered Vanir’s cure to my
orcish transformation.
That this is confusing for a lot of reasons, yes, but…

But if Darkness can so easily accept her friend being a goddess, who am I to protest my
goddess being a friend?

“Kazuma?” my friend finally asks, her tone hesitant.

“Yes?” I answer.

“I… I’m glad it’s with you. My first time,” she says.

And then she looks at the blond kissing and licking her breasts, and her smile softens in a
way that she never directed at me.

“I’m glad it’s us,” she whispers.

Suddenly, a lot of things don’t matter.

So I slowly pull out of her clinging folds, her mouth abruptly closing as she hisses through
her teeth, and then I go back in, adopting the same rhythm the women I’ve been with have
taught me is needed to let them adjust to me, because not all of them are a blonde masochist
who gets off on me tearing through her hymen while on her knees in our bath.

The slow, shallow rhythm that gets a bit deeper and faster with every thrust, with every sigh,
moan, and tossing of her head. That soon has her body slowly rocking back and forth over the
sheet I left to cover Darkness’ bed when I got up and decided to wear a stupid, improvised
toga to the breakfast table, a part of me idly wondering what kind of disaster Aqua would
propitiate with this particular choice of attire.

But now that sheet is just a wrapped band of white cotton around my waist, and Aqua is still
fuming at me ignoring her when she said that she had a present for me, which is a weird thing
to feel guilty about, but I guess that sex makes me mushy and open to feelings.

It had to have some drawbacks. Otherwise, people would overindulge.

“I can’t believe you take this every night,” Chris mumbles, her teeth clenching yet again at
the end of the sentence, when I push that much deeper inside of her until it feels like the walls
push down on me to bar me farther entry.

Darkness, as her own answer, happily mumbles into her favorite nipple as her fingers
teasingly flutter over Chris’ clitoris and the top of my shaft.

And I just pull back and push back in. Reaching farther. Deeper.

Until my belly pushes against Darkness’ meaty backside and Chris’s hand buried between the
soft, yielding thighs.

She moans, and I…

I grab Darkness’ waist with my left hand and Chris’ with my right, pulling them closer
together, their arms sandwiched between their bodies as they both do their best to satisfy the
other.

And I fuck Chris while helping her fingerfuck Darkness with every push of my belly against
buried fingers.

Sweat runs down the spine of my girlfriend as she writhes over her friend, and Chris does her
very best not to moan wantonly before accepting that’s not a challenge she’s going to succeed
in, her face contorting into something that is only loosely a smile, that verges right into
suffering when she bites her lip and closes her eyes, pushing her head against the mattress
below her.

Darkness takes the chance to let go of the breast trapped in her mouth, to reach up and kiss
her friend’s collarbone, her neck, her cheeks.

To look down at the petite girl trapped against her, the one masturbating her.

“She… She looks so beautiful, Kazuma,” my girlfriend mutters.

And I… I…

I am selfish. I have always been.

Greedy. Because I want all of these women to look at me.

So I let go of Darkness and grab Chris, pulling her down until I have to leave the bed,
standing up with my cock still inside the thief’s body, my left hand holding her back parallel
to the ground.

My right pushing down on Darkness, forcing her pussy on Chris’ face.

Both of them moan, yet only one of them loudly.

And then I go faster, harder, deeper.

And Chris loses herself.

The short-haired woman turns side to side as if denying the barrage of sensation that I thrust
into her, and Darkness sits up, her back straight, her loose hair swaying as she shakes and
shivers at the stimulation between her legs.

I push harder, hard enough that the bed protests, beating against the wall beside it as both
women feel the force of my thrusts rushing through their bodies, Chris’ agile legs doing their
best to close around my hips before she realizes she’s too short for that and she instead closes
them, increasing her tightness as she rests them against my belly and chest, her short boots
moving in a tortuous way that tells me about her toes clenching inside of them each time I
bottom out inside of her, each time I force a muffled sound to come out from between
Darkness’ thighs.
And she…

I see her back, swaying to the tune of sensation, the curtain of gold briefly clinging to taut
muscle whenever she twists and turns, her hands traveling up her body to gather loose locks
that she pushes up, showing off her nape to me, as if dancing, as if making a spectacle of me
fucking her best friend and forcing her to eat Darkness out.

Chris’ hands dig into Darkness’ cheeks, deft fingers abandoning all subtlety to brutally maul
the yielding flesh.

And I punish her with a deep thrust that makes her lose her hold on my girlfriend.

But she’s Chris. Eris. And she grabbed Darkness way before I came into the picture.

So she holds her again.

And I make her let go again.

And again, and again, and again, almost a game, just making the lithe woman lose control of
her body, of herself, by forcing more and more of me inside of her.

The pleasure catches me unaware.

The… The way she clings to me, the way she moves, her back suspended between Darkness
and me, yet still moving gracefully, undulating, showing off her curves to the greatest effect
possible, her chest moving side to side every time she pushes up with her shoulders to change
their angle, to show me how sweat-dewed flesh ripples under my assault.

It’s almost enough to distract me from Darkness.

Much like my cock is almost enough to distract Chris.

But both of us stubbornly push through, my eyes on a toned back, Chris’ hands on soft
cheeks.

And we both struggle with the pleasure the other gives us.

I am breathing deeper and rougher, and Chris’ muffled moans come faster and louder. My
pelvis slaps against hers, and her walls cling tightly to me. I grind against her clitoris, and she
turns and twists in minute, perfectly timed circles.

I fuck her, and she fucks me back, just as hard, just as…

Perfect.

But I could hold on. I could—

“Kazuma…” Darkness moans, looking over her shoulder, straight into my eyes, her hair still
held up so that her blue eyes are framed by a toned arm and a cascade of gold.
And I roar.

Chris trembles around me as I push inside her and keep pushing, no longer grinding but
vibrating with overwhelming sensation, with the rush of heat that’s been building up and up
and is finally about to explode.

And Darkness, blushing, eyes lidded, biting her lip…

Looks down at her friend’s flat, toned belly.

“Fill her up,” she murmurs. “Breed my slave.”

And I, to quote Megumin, explode.

I fall to my knees, still holding Chris when the first jet of cum flies out of me and into her,
and she slides away from my bed and a twitching Darkness, falling into my thighs, spread out
below me as I pump her up and down, coaxing more and more cum out of me and inside of
her as her eyes roll back and her tongue peeks out not in mischief, but in disheveled ecstasy.

“Mo—more…” she manages to say, briefly meeting my eyes before going limp, her arms
falling behind her, stretching the flesh of her chest.

And I give it to her.

I jerk myself off with her like Darkness told her I would, just moving her along my cock with
two hands, the involuntary spasms of my hips matching the erratic motions of her body,
shaking her up and down, turning her ragged breathing into incoherent mumbles and abruptly
cut off moans, making her babble, insensate, until she manages to reach down and grasp my
wrists.

“More,” she asks yet again.

And I’m still hard. Still inside her. Still feeling electric jolts of pleasure as I keep filling her
with boiling seed. As I keep making her head thrash around over my knees, her soft hair
incongruously gentle each time it brushes over my green skin.

“More!” she screams, meeting my eyes for a single moment before her amethyst ones roll
back, and her head falls limp over me, her fingers gently trailing down my hands, trying not
to let go.

And I scream right after her, the last, overpowering spark of my orgasm burning everything
away except for the warm hole I’m filling with my cum and the soft body I hold in my hands.

***

I didn’t quite fall unconscious. Not really.

But I almost did.

When I manage to focus back on something outside my own head and the haze of pure
pleasure pushing away the intrusive reality encroaching on me from all sides, Chris is still
insensate, lying along my thighs, her own legs draped over my right elbow, a line of drool on
my knee, and a wide, exhausted smile on lips that have only held my cock between them for a
criminally short moment.

Those cheeky smirks of hers, with the tongue peeking out, are about to get their own entry in
my personal ‘Dictionary of Kazuma’s Lovey-Dovey Orc Rape.’

Three guesses as to the not-so-hidden meaning. And the first two don’t count, just because
I’m feeling particularly generous toward the mentally challenged after witnessing first-hand
the inspiring, real-life account of Aqua’s struggles.

But, well, daytime special movies aside…

I just fucked Chris.

Eris.

Both?

I’m unsure if this was a threesome in ways that—oh, wait.

Darkness.

Darkness is…

Looking at Chris and me, fingering herself with a silly, fulfilled grin, that tells me she
enjoyed me pulling Chris away from between her legs far more than I intended.

Because of course she did.

Ah, well, let it never be said that I’m not an attentive, caring lover able to subconsciously act
upon my partners’ desires without even realizing it. Yes, that’s how attentive I am: enough to
interrupt a girl’s cunnilingus without even needing to be asked to.

And, judging from the sounds coming from between her legs…

Yeah. I just did a magnificent job.

Which, really, just goes to show the rich palette of experiences that lovemaking can consist
of, from grand gestures and acrobatics to gentle caresses, or successful—

“Okay, Kazuma, did you already get whatever that was out of your system? Because I have
the greatest gift ever ready… for…”

Aqua, standing in the middle of the doorway, holding a parcel between her trembling hands,
looks down.
At Chris.

Or Eris.

Or both.

Whatever the case may be, the rogue-classed goddess chooses a terrible moment to stir back
into consciousness, look at me with (quite flattering) awe and wonder, and then at Aqua with
something else entirely.

“Please don’t notice me, Senpai,” one of my two onahole goddesses mutters.

And then, with dull eyes that would make any yandere character pass her a kitchen knives
catalog, the other onahole goddess looks at me.

“Told you she padded them,” she mumbles.

So.

Yes.

Missables.

One thing that numbers among them? One that, usually, doesn’t involve an overly verbose
scenario writer trying to be noticed by Senpai?

Achievements.

Goddamn achievements.

Wonder just how many times I’ll have to die to get the next one?

==============================