Discover Your Attachment Style - Self-Assessment Questionnaire
Hey dear,
I know you're feeling something inside - a curiosity, a longing, maybe even confusion -
and you're ready to work on yourself. This is your first step. And I want you to know
how powerful that is.
Relationships, love, and life - they're all a constant work in progress. But we cannot
understand others until we truly begin to understand ourselves. This little quiz is not
about labeling you. It's about becoming aware, with kindness, of your emotional
patterns.
So take a deep breath, be honest with yourself, and go gently. There's no right or
wrong here. Only learning, only growth.
With warmth,
Ekta
Understanding your attachment style can help you build healthier relationships and
understand your emotional needs better. This self-assessment helps you reflect on
your behavioral patterns in relationships.
Instructions:
Read each statement carefully.
Rate each on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 = Not true at all, 5 = Very true).
Add your scores for each section to find your dominant attachment style.
Secure Attachment
1. I find it easy to open up to people I'm close to.
2. I feel comfortable depending on others and having them depend on me.
3. I trust people unless they give me a reason not to.
4. I believe I'm worthy of love and respect.
5. I don't overthink when someone takes time to reply.
6. In relationships, I feel stable and at ease.
7. I can handle distance or disagreements without panicking.
8. I know how to ask for help or emotional support when I need it.
9. I feel safe expressing both joy and sadness to my loved ones.
10. I believe conflicts can be solved through honest communication.
Anxious (Preoccupied) Attachment
1. I often fear my partner will lose interest or leave me.
2. I need a lot of reassurance in relationships.
3. I feel anxious when my partner is distant or unresponsive.
4. I overthink my partner's words, tone, and actions.
5. I often feel "too much" or "too needy."
6. I compare myself with others and worry I'm not enough.
7. I find myself chasing people emotionally.
8. My mood often depends on how my partner treats me.
9. I try hard to avoid arguments out of fear of abandonment.
10. I tend to ignore my own needs to keep the other person happy.
Avoidant (Dismissive) Attachment
1. I feel uncomfortable depending on others.
2. I keep emotional distance even in close relationships.
3. I value my independence more than intimacy.
4. I feel irritated when someone gets too close or needy.
5. I prefer solving things alone rather than sharing them.
6. I shut down or withdraw when conflicts happen.
7. I avoid talking about feelings, even with loved ones.
8. I secretly fear being vulnerable or "too seen."
9. I often distract myself from emotional discomfort.
10. I feel safer alone than emotionally entangled
Disorganized (Fearful-Avoidant) Attachment
1. I crave closeness but feel scared when I get it.
2. I often feel confused or unsure in relationships.
3. I sometimes push people away, even when I want them close.
4. I fear being abandoned and being trapped.
5. I grew up in an environment where love felt unsafe or inconsistent.
6. I sometimes sabotage relationships without knowing why.
7. I can go from intense love to intense fear very quickly.
8. I find it hard to trust people, even those who care.
9. I feel like I don't know how to do relationships "right."
10. I've had a mix of both clingy and distant behaviors in relationships
Interpretation:
After completing all sections, total your score for each.
The section with the highest total indicates your dominant attachment style:
Secure Attachment: You feel safe and stable in relationships.
Anxious Attachment: You seek closeness but often feel insecure.
Avoidant Attachment: You tend to distance yourself emotionally.
Disorganized Attachment: You have mixed and often conflicting feelings about
closeness.
Note: If two scores are close, you may show a mixed attachment style
