Adult Attachment Interview

Developed by Carol George, Nancy Kaplan, and Mary Main in 1984

I am going to be interviewing you about how your childhood experiences may have affected
your adult personality or attachment style.

1. 1. Could you start by helping me get oriented to your early family situation, where you
lived, where you born, if you moved around a lot, what your family did for a living, if
you have siblings, etc? (spend 2-3 minutes on this question)
1. a. Who would you say raised you? (ask if it seems like they might have been
raised by several persons) Did other people live in your home growing up?
2. b. Ask about grandparents-if they were a part of their life, if they are still alive,
etc if not alive, ask when they died, if they knew much about them.

2. 2. I’d like you to try to describe your relationship with your parents as a young child,
starting from as far back as you can remember. (encourage 5 or earlier, but age 5-12 ok)

3. 3. Now, I’d like you to choose 5 words or adjective that reflect your relationship with
your mother starting from as far back as you can remember in early childhood-early as
you can go but say age 5-12 is fine.
1. a. Now let me go through some more questions about your description of your
childhood relationship with your mother. You say your relationship was_______.
Can you think of a memory or incident that would illustrate why you chose
______ to describe the relationship?
1. i. Repeat with all 5 word

b. Repeat the above with father.

2. c. Repeat with any other primary caregiver .

4. 4. Which parent did you feel closest to and why? Why isn’t there this feeling with the
other parent?
1. a. Ask even if it is previously discussed. I know you’ve already discussed this but
I’d like to ask you about it briefly anyway

5. 5. When you were upset as a child what would you do?

1. a. When you were upset emotionally when you were little what would you do?
Can you think of a specific time that happened?
2. b. Can you remember what would happen when you were hurt physically? Do any
specific incidents come to mind? Any other incidents?
3. c. Were you ever ill when you were little? Do you remember what would happen?
4. d. If not spontaneously reported ask if the client remembers being held by either
of his/her parents at any of these times- when upset, hurt or ill?

6. 6. What is the first time you remember being separated from you parents?
1. a. How did you respond? Do you remember how your parents responded?
2. b. Are there any other separations that stand out in your mind?
7. 7. Did you ever feel rejected as a young child? (even if they now know it wasn’t
rejection, but at the time of being a young child felt rejected)
1. a. How old were you when you first felt this way, and what did you do?
2. b. Why do you think your parent did those things-do you think he/she realized
he/she was rejecting you?
3. c. Did you ever feel pushed away or ignored?
4. d. Were you ever frightened or worried as a child?

8. 8. Were your parents ever threatening with you in any way- maybe for discipline or
jokingly?
1. a. For example, some have said that their parents would threaten to leave them or
send them away from home
1. i. If yes, ask specifically about only one form of punishment (like silent
treatment)
2. b. Some people have memories of threats or some kind of behavior that was
abusive.
1. i. Did anything like this ever happen to you, or in your family?
1. 1. How old were you at the time? Did it happen frequently?
2. 2. Do you feel this experience affects you now as an adult?
3. 3. Does it influence you approach to your own child?
4. ii. Did you have any suck experiences involving people outside
you family?
1. 1. Use same probes as previous question.

9. 9. In general, how do you think your overall experiences with your parents have affected
your adult personality?
1. a. Are there any aspects of your early experiences that you feel were a set-back in
your development? A negative effect on the way you turned out?

10. 10. Why do you think your parents behaved the way they did during your childhood?

11. 11. Were there any other adults with whom you were close, like parents, as a child?
1. a. Or just any other adults you were close to?

12. 12. Did you experience the loss of a parent or other close loved one while you were a
young child- for example, a sibling, or a close family member?
1. a. Could you tell me about the circumstances, and how old you were at the time?
2. b. How did you respond at the time?
3. c. Was this death sudden or was it expected?
4. d. Can you recall your feelings at the time?
5. e. Have your feelings regarding this death changed much over time?
6. f. Did you attend the funeral and what was this like for you?
7. g. If it was a parent or sibling- What would you say was the effect on your (other
parent) and on your household, and how did this change over the years?
 8. h. Would you say this loss has had an effect on your adult personality? (if
applicable, on your approach to your own child?)

13. 13. Did you lose any other important persons during your childhood?
1. a. Have you lost other close persons, in adult years? (Go through same queries as
above)

14. 14. Other than any difficult experiences you’ve already described, have you had any
other experiences which you would regard as potentially traumatic? (anything which
was overwhelmingly and immediately terrifying)

15. 15. Now I’d like to ask you a few more questions about your relationship with your
parents. Were there many changes in your relationship with your parents (or remaining
parent) after childhood? We will get to the present in a moment, but right now I mean
changes occurring roughly between your childhood and your adulthood?

16. 16. Now I’d like to ask you, what is your relationship with your parents like for your
now?
1. a. Do you have much contact with your parents at present?
2. b. What would you say the relationship with your parents is like currently?
3. c. Could you tell me about any (or any other) sources of dissatisfaction in your
current relationship with your parents? Any special sources of sources of
satisfaction?

17. 17. I’d like to move now to a different sort of question- it’s not about your relationship
with your parents, instead it’s about an aspect of your current relationship with (current
children)? How do you respond now, in terms of feelings, when you separate from your
child/children? Do you ever feel worried about your child?
1. a. If no children, Imagine you have a one year old child and I wonder how you
think you might respond in terms of feelings if you had to separate from this
child? Do you think you would ever feel worried about this child?

18. 18. If you had three wishes for your child twenty years from now, what would they be?
I’m thinking partly of the kind of future you would like to see for your child.
1. a. Phrase this for the imaginary child if applicable

19. 19. Is there any particular thing which you feel you learned above all from your own
childhood experiences? I’m thinking here of something you feel you might have gained
from the kind of childhood you had.

20. 20. We have just talked about what you think you may have learned from your own
childhood experiences. I’d like to end by asking you what would you hope you child
might have learned from his/her experiences of being parented by you?