Relationships
A Happy And Loving One
Is Best To Have
3 Stages To A Romantic
Relationship
• One should demonstrate mutual kindness and respect prior to entering any
relationship
• Friendship
– Meeting new friends, find a Circle of Support,
Getting to know someone, spending time together
• Dating
– Dating is a challenge, look beyond physical appearance, determine if person
likes you as more than a friend
– Communication-being able to talk freely without pressure
• Marriage
– Show affection
– Support your partner, meet each other’s emotional needs
No Matter Who We Are Or What Disability We
Have, Relationships Are Needed
• No matter if we have a:
– Temporal disability, intellectual incapacity, or permanent physical challenge
• Socializing is one of our basic needs and helps fight depression
– It’s needed throughout life
• Learn to trust yourself before you can trust other people
• Without relationships you feel empty and lonely
• Trust your instincts around other people
Circle Of Support
Meet A Real Friend / Sentimental
Partner
• Family Members • Current Friends
– You can meet new people through your
family
• Classmates
• Co-Workers
Places You Can Meet Friends
• Work • Activities / Events
Dance/House Parties
• Day Program • Church
The Challenges
If you are blind or have other physical disabilities pay close
attention to:
• His/Her tone of voice
• Smell or
• Body language
• The way how he/she looks at you
Beauty Is Only Skin Deep
• Look beyond outward appearance
– It goes both ways. (The cutest but with an “ugly” heart, or they may not be
handsome/pretty but see only your heart and not your disability)
• If it is a first time, meet in a public place
• Try to establish a pleasant conversation
– Talk and listen
• Be ready for an emergency
– Have enough money for your meal and/or for a taxi
– Tell someone where you are going
– Have your cellular with you, or ask an employee to make
a call for you if needed
What To Look For From A Person
Negative Signs Positive Signs
• Anger • Caring
• Controlling • Cheerful
• Demanding • Friendly
• Depressed • Good Communication
• Lonely • Happy
• Mad • Helpful
• Sad • Listener
• Stressful • Loving
• Sharing
• Supportive
Cannot Not Communicate!
Others interpret what do & say, but also what we don’t do or say
Some Good Skills Some Bad Habits/Myths
• Show your interest
- Smiling, nodding, expressing creative ideas • Communication is inborn
- Asking questions - It’s a learned skill, not natural ability
- Inserting some words like “Yeah, I know”, “Go on”
• More is better
• Become involved - Talking too much won’t solve problems
- Peer groups such as community work
- School clubs on your campus • Just hear not listen / Assuming
- We can hear but not understand
• Check perception - Prejudging
- Describe situations using I-statements. (I.e. “I feel bad”.
Not: “You make me feel bad”) • Meaning is always in words
- Give two interpretations – don’t assume & react
- It’s not enough to know what words mean.
- Ask for feedback
They may have many meanings, thus there’s
room for misunderstandings
• Avoid misinterpretations
- Be clear, assertive, understanding
• Distinguish between facts & suppositions
- Be sure of what it’s said, words cannot be unsaid
Issues Related To Online Dating
Pay attention to:
• Pictures and comments posted on Facebook (or any other social
net)
• To their postings (the kind of language & expressions they use)
– Is their writing similar to the person you’re seeing?
– What kind of friends does this person have?
• Be aware of tagged vs untagged pictures
• If they have family members listed there.
– What do they look like? What impression do they
reflect?
Being Taken Advantage Of?
• Be skeptical
– Don’t easily believe everything that him/her might tell you.
– Remember: actions are louder than words
• A person can talk much and not show what he/she is saying.
• Otherwise, one can show his/her interest and not say much.
• Pay attention to what the other person is telling you
– It’s hard to recall superficial lies so if a person is lying he/she won’t be able
to keep track of all what he/she says to you.
– Don’t be naïve: if it seems too good to be true, probably it is.
– If you think things through it will be the safest route.
• Give it some time
– Go slowly into a relationship. It helps you see things
clearly and allows you to know the other person better.
Marriage
• Affection - It’s a important learned skill
– Show your spouse your love physically & mentally
• Trust, support, conversation
• Emotional Needs – can be anything that makes you happy
– Define & declare your emotional needs
– Care to satisfy your spouse needs
– If you disagree, don’t go to bed angry
– Be honest/be compassionate/support one another
• Meaning of True Love/Family
– Be comfortable with yourself
– Discuss whether you want children/do you want to adopt?
– Discuss relationship of children from previous marriages/ unions
• Recreation
– Spend time together
KNOWING YOUR PARTNER
• Knowing a person at a deeper level of understanding
• Do you connect on different levels? If yes, are you willing to change for the better?
• When having a conversation, listen & try to understand.
• What is their expectation of life in a relationship?
• How was their relationship with their parents?
– Do both of you respect your parents’ opinion? However, you have the right to decide for
yourself and love who you want.
Credits
• Herb H. • Alan M.
- RCEB Consumer Rights Advocate -SCLARC CAC Sergeant-At-Arms
-Contributions: Developed original concept and Contributions: “Circle of Support” and
developed Marriage slide, “Circle of Support” and “Challenges”
“What To Look For In A Person”
• Eugene and Karen W.
• Desiree B -CAC Members, SCLARC Board
-President of SCLARC CAC-CAC Board Member Member
-Contributions: “Beauty is Only Skin -Contributions: “Circle of Support” and
Deep”; “Three Stages to a Romantic “The Challenges”
Relationship”; & On-line Dating
• Domonique Y.
-SCLARC Consumer Advocate and CAC Member
• Paul M. - Contributions: “Knowing Your Partner”
– SCLARC CAC Vice President
– Contributions: “No Matter the Disability-
Relationships are Needed” Andrew R.
-SCLARC CAC Secretary
• Diana U.
– SCLARC Consumer, SCLARC CAC Member, & USC
UCEDD CAB Member
– Contributions: Overall design, enhancement of
graphics; “Being Taken Advantage Of?”
