Disappointment and God
We have all faced disappointment in our lives. Disappointment in God, in our
parents, in our siblings or friends and even in ourselves. It is a common human
experience, often arising when expectations are unmet or when things in life
don’t quite go as we had hoped they would. It is important that we recognise
these feelings so that we can deal with them and come back to a place of
understanding and knowing that God is always good, despite our
circumstances. It helps us to lean into the Sovereignty of God and trust Him in
the process.
Biblical Examples of Disappointment
1. Jesus’ disappointment in his disciples – in the boat and in the garden of
Gethsemane are two main examples. In his time of exhaustion in the boat –
their lack of faith in His promise they would get to the other side. (Luke 8:22-
24) Then in His darkest hour when he needed them to stand with Him in
prayer, they fell asleep rather than choosing to pray with Him. (Matthew
26:36-44) Yet Jesus continued to follow His Father’s will, even to death
knowing that it would be for the salvation of all who choose eternal life.
2. Job's Suffering: Job's story is full of disappointment and suffering. Despite
losing everything - his wealth, his health, and his family, Job remained steadfast
in his faith. He questioned God but ultimately surrendered to God's wisdom and
sovereignty, saying, "I am convinced: You can do anything and everything.
Nothing and no-one can upset your plans." (Job 42:2 - MSG).
3. Naomi’s disappointment – feeling God had abandoned her and turned His
hand against her. (Ruth 1:12-13). She felt there was no hope for her, yet God
provided a home for her through Ruth’s marriage to Boaz and she became a
grandmother through her daughter in law’s marriage to Boaz and the son they
had. This son, Obed, was Jesse’s father. The grand-father of David, from where
the line of the Messiah came.
4. Moses and the Promised Land: Moses, a faithfully served God, yet he
experienced disappointment when he was not allowed to enter the Promised
Land due to his disobedience where he hit the rock in anger when God told him
to speak to the rock. (Numbers 20:1-12). Yet despite his obvious
disappointment, Moses faithfully continued to lead the Israelites, encouraging
them to honour and obey God; and he prepared Joshua to lead the people into
the Promised Land.
Other examples to look at:
Elijah’s disappointment after winning war against Baal and Queen Jezibel
threatened his life
The disciples in Jesus not being a Messiah bringing war but rather bringing
peace
David – in Saul, in himself, in his sons, in his people, in God
Peter – in himself for denying Jesus even after promising that he never would
Jonah – in God for not bringing the judgement He promised He would on
Ninevah.
In what ways have you been disappointed?
IN GOD:
Name how you have felt disappointed in God or in circumstances you feel God
could have changed or not allowed to happen:
How has this impacted your life?
How has this impacted your relationship with God?
IN OTHERS:
Name the people and circumstances that have disappointed you?
How has this impacted your life?
How has this impacted your relationship with others?
IN YOURSELF:
Name the times you have been disappointed in yourself
How has this impacted your life?
How has this impacted your self-esteem?
Biblical Teachings on Dealing with Disappointment
1. Trust in God's Plan: Proverbs 3:5-6 advises, "Trust in the LORD with all
your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways
acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." This scripture
encourages us to trust in God's wisdom and timing, even when we don’t
understand the ‘why’ and our circumstances are disappointing. Sometimes
God’ answer is not no, it is just not now.
2. Prayer and Supplication: Philippians 4:6-7 instructs, "Be anxious for
nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present
your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all
understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Prayer is
a powerful tool for dealing with disappointment, bringing peace and
perspective as we voice our feelings to God. He says in Hebrews 4:16 “Let us
then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive
mercy and find grace to help in our time of need.”
3. Hope in God's Promises: Romans 8:28 reassures believers that "in all
things God works for the good of those who love Him, who are called according
to His purpose." This promise is for those who love God and who are called
according to His purpose, in our disappointment we can go to a God who loves
us and choose to love Him in return. As we do this, He will shift our
disappointment to purpose and make something beautiful out of the pain we
are feeling. This does not mean it will be easy, but it will become something
that has God’s goodness stamped in the pain.
4. Perseverance and Character: James 1:2-4 says "consider it pure joy, my
brothers, when you encounter trials of many kinds, because you know that the
testing of your faith develops perseverance. Allow perseverance to finish its
work, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." If we
allow God to work in us, disappointment can be a tool for growth and maturity
as it stretches our spiritual muscle to become stronger and more resilient, and
in that way grows our character, humility and need for God.
5. Eternal Perspective: 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 shifts us from a temporal
perspective to an eternal one: "For our light and momentary affliction is
producing for us an eternal glory that is far beyond comparison. So we fix our
eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary,
but what is unseen is eternal." This scripture helps to move us from focusing
only on the here and now to having an eternity focused outlook.
Practical Steps for Believers
· Seek Community: Find a community of people who have the same values
and who can bring support and encouragement during times of
disappointment. Be willing to be honest and vulnerable with them about how
you are feeling. Remember your feelings are real and not wrong, it is how you
respond to and deal with them that matters. Recognising they exist is the start
of healing. Hebrews 10:24-25 highlights the importance of community meeting
together: "And let us consider how to spur one another on to love and good
deeds. Let us not neglect meeting together, as some have made a habit, but let
us encourage one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching."
· Reflect on God's Faithfulness: Remembering how God has been faithful in
the past will strengthen trust and hope in you. Psalm 77:11-12 states, "I will
remember the works of the LORD; yes, I will remember Your wonders of old. I
will reflect on all You have done and ponder Your mighty deeds.". God told the
Israelites when crossing the River Jordan to take 12 stones from where He had
parted the river and put them on the other side so that they could remember
His faithfulness for generations to come of what He had done for them that
day. (Joshua 3:14-17; 4:1-7). Have a journal where you keep a record of what
God has done, of answered prayers, of dreams realised, of prophesies fulfilled.
· Cultivate Gratitude: Gratitude shifts our perspective, it moves us from
looking at we lost, missed out on or how hurt we feel to celebrating what we do
have. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 encourages, "Give thanks in every circumstance,
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." Remember to have Gratitude
Triggers that draw you back to remembering what you have, what God has
done and pulls you out of disappointment, hopelessness and despair. Have
specific Triggers that you see every day that remind you to be grateful and
shifts your focus from the negative to the positive.
· Reading Scripture: God’s word is full of promises. Spend time learning
scripture that will remind you in difficult and challenging times that God has a
plan, that He is with you, that you can talk to Him about how you are feeling
and He will not abandon you in your time of need. Scripture fills us with faith
and with hope and leads us back to Him. John 1:1 “In the beginning was the
Word, and Word was God.”
