Dominatrix 101: The Good Girl’s Quick Guide to

Dominating Her Man

Table of Contents

Chapter One: Start Here

Chapter Two: What It’s All About
Chapter Three: It’s All About Tone
Chapter Four: Humiliation
Chapter Five: Punishments (Other Than Spanking)
Chapter Six: Spanking
Chapter Seven: Pegging
Chapter Eight: Closing Thoughts

Dominatrix 201: The Vanilla Wife’s Book of Real-life

Stories, Tips, and Tricks to Becoming a Dominant Wife
Introduction
Chapter One: Alternative Punishments
Chapter Two: Humiliation
Chapter Three: Caging, Teasing, and Denial
Chapter Four: Spanking
Chapter Five: Useful Tools (A List of
Recommendations)
 Chapter One: Start Here

So you want to dominate your husband, but you don’t know

where to start. Perhaps your husband has shared his fantasy
about having you completely and utterly control him, but you have
no clue how to make his wildest dreams come true. Have no fear;
you’ve come to the right place. The idea of exploring submission
play can be exciting, sexy, but also intimidating! That’s why this
book exists. My goal is to help you navigate the dominatrix waters
in a fun, safe, and laidback way. I want you to have the most mind
blowing sex you can imagine, and I want your experience to be
amazing!

What This Book Is

As stated before, this book is here to help you. I need to

begin by telling you a little bit about me so you know how this
book came to be. I’m a normal gal: a wife, mom, daughter, and
friend. My husband is a normal guy, and we have a fairly normal
family (as normal as any family can be). We take trips, have family
dinners, and even (gasp!) go to church every Sunday. I do not
have a dungeon and I do not see clients who pay me to dominate
them. In fact, my husband is the only one I engage in this activity,
or any sexual activity, with…period!
The truth is, we just love kinky sex. But it’s not the “end all”
for us. In other words, it’s not a 24/7 lifestyle. My husband works
hard to provide for our family and is our protector. We make
decisions jointly after discussing things, and I am not “in charge”
all the time. Neither one of us is; our marriage is a true partnership
built on love, trust, and fidelity. We do not practice “domestic
discipline,” and I do not spank him for misbehaving (unless it’s
part of our “script,” but more on that later). Our sex isn’t all kinky,
either. Sometimes the best love making comes after simply
spending the day together. Sometimes “cuddle sex” is the way to
go. Other times its just plain, hot “going at it.” But this certainly
does not mean we do not explore our wilder side with each other.
Sometimes I’m in control, and sometimes I’m submissive to him.

1
 But this is all about you being in control. In this book I am
passing on tips to you because I know how hard it can be when
you are first getting started. When my husband expressed interest
in submission play I wanted to make his fantasies come true, but
had no concept of how to go about it. So I searched the Internet,
read columns in popular magazines, scoured blogs, and found an
infinite amount of information on the subject; some good, but a lot
of it not so good. So to provide a valuable service for all you kinky
wives out there, I’ve weeded through the good, the bad, and the
just plain weird to bring you this brief tome.

What This Book Is Not

I take marriage very seriously and I’m not ashamed of that.

In this book, you will not read anything about having multiple
partners or any other behavior that is destructive to relationships.
Couples who play together stay together. I know it sounds clichéd,
but I believe it’s true. I believe in fulfilling my husband’s deepest
desires, and he fulfills mine. This book is for married couples,
plain and simple.

A Few Thoughts

Before getting started, there are a few things you may want
to keep in mind. First of all, this is all play. Acting out these
fantasies is just a game of “make believe” for adults. As a couple
it’s important that you both respect each other. Never make fun of
each other or criticize what one of you does or says when playing.
Don’t bring it up later when you’re not playing, or hold it over their
head in any way. When you’re “in character” it does not mean you
love your spouse any less or that you’re being disrespectful or
degrading to them. You’re simply acting out a fantasy and having
fun while growing in your trust as a married couple. You may feel
silly at first, tempting you to give up. Don’t give up! Just keep
going and eventually you’ll get the hang of it. Like anything, it
takes practice. Remember, your husband will probably be nervous
too. Most of the time it is the man who has the fantasy of a
dominant woman. I have heard from a few ladies out there who

2
have the “dominant gene,” but more often than not it is the
husband who fantasizes about this. That being said, I have come
to enjoy it and have even embraced it. Now, I look forward to it
just as much as my man does! So if you feel a bit unsure at first,
you’re not alone. If your husband expresses interest, then give it a
shot. You may both like it and find a whole other dimension to your
sex life. Or, you may both realize it is not for you. Whatever the
case, don’t feel pressured. Which leads me to the last rule…
For goodness’ sake, by all means, have fun! That’s what
this is all about.

One more warning, and then we’ll get to the good stuff. I
may be a faithful and traditional wife, but I am by no means a
prude! This book is very frank in its subject matter and
terminology. Some of the suggestions I present may be kinkier
than many of you are comfortable with. Please just read on with
an open mind and skip any part that is not your cup of tea. You do
not need to try anything you or your husband are not comfortable
with! Remember, you are in control here!
Now, onto the juicy stuff…

3
 Chapter Two: What It’s All About

Let’s be honest: many women do not understand the whole

femdom fantasy. For many of us, it is not our nature to lead and
be in charge. Quite a bit of material has been written on why some
men have this fantasy. There’s really no “one explanation” that is
definitive, but there is one big idea that seems common.
Being dominated by a woman is about letting go of control
and being freed from the everyday pressures of life that come with
being a man.
Think about it; men have a lot of pressure on them! I know
women do too, but let’s talk about the opposite sex for a moment.
Many men provide for, protect, and lead their families and that is
fine. But every now and then they need a mental vacation just as
they do a physical vacation. So, when engaging in submission
play, they get to temporarily shed the “tough, macho man” image
and be led for a while. In other words, sometimes it is nice to have
someone else in control.
Of course while all men may need a vacation from time to
time, not all men are interested in this sort of mental vacation. The
fantasy is not universal, which ties into the next explanation…
People like what they like. There’s often no rhyme or
reason to what turns us on, certain things just do! Part of it may be
the thrill and excitement of trying something new, or the fun of
breaking out of the monotony of “vanilla” sex. Some people just
like it simply because they like it.
Whatever the reason, we don’t have to understand it to go
along with it. There are a few women out there who truly get off on
being a dominatrix, but many women are indifferent toward it or
even outright resistant. Let’s address the latter first. If taking on
the role of a dominant female really bothers you, don’t do it!
Perhaps you possess deeply held cultural, religious, or personal
beliefs that may keep you from engaging in this sort of play, and
that’s fine. Don’t sell out your values or what is right for you.
But, you may fall into the camp of “it doesn’t offend me and
it’s not really my thing but I’m willing to give it a shot.” If that
statement sums you up, then read on! Like anything you’ll find you

4
get better with practice and may even find you acquire a taste for
it. For example, I was very unsure of myself when I began and it
was not my particular brand of play, but now I enjoy it and
fantasize about new scenarios regularly. As I pointed out before,
it’s not all we do, but it is a regular part of the sex repertoire and I
find it to be a major turn-on!
Just remember a few things. First of all, you don’t have to
understand why your man has this fantasy, he just does and that’s
alright! You probably have certain kinks and desires he doesn’t
understand, but hopefully he’s willing to meet those needs just as
you are willing to meet his.
Secondly, as I stated before but I cannot mention enough,
don’t give up! Fight through the awkwardness and keep going.
You’ll both get the hang of it and soon it won’t be “weird” at all.
You have it in you, so let that filthy dominatrix that’s hiding
somewhere deep within out to play! Don’t focus too much on if
you’re doing it right or if you went far enough or went too far. That
will all work itself out with time and practice.
But perhaps now is a good time to mention the trust factor
and talking to your partner. We will discuss trust more in depth
when we look at humiliation, but for now let me touch on it briefly.
Your husband took a big step by admitting this fantasy to you, and
it is important not to laugh at him or make him feel strange. Most
men have some sort of fetish but they are far too nervous to voice
it (many women do too, but that’s a whole other discussion we will
save for another time). Bottom line, neither one of you needs to
make the other feel strange, awkward, or embarrassed for what is
done or said when playing. Your partner trusts you enough to tell
you these desires. You may not be comfortable doing certain
things, and that is fine, but don’t make them feel weird for having
those thoughts and sharing them with you. The two of you need to
trust each other enough to know the limits and not push farther
than one wants to go.
That goes for your husband too; he does not need to make
you feel weird! Here’s what I mean by that…
A lot of folks talk about “safe words” when exploring
submission play and BDSM. This is a word that is discussed
beforehand that a partner can say (the submissive) to alert the

5
other partner (the dominant) that they are not comfortable with
performing a certain task or doing a certain act. Let’s use pegging
for this example. We will talk more about pegging in a later
chapter. But, say a man is really into submitting and he loves it
when you spank him and humiliate him in various ways. One night
you decide to take it beyond that, and you’re really into your role,
and you want to penetrate him with strap-on dildo. Your husband
may not be up for that. So, if there’s an agreed safe word or way
he has to alert you then that would be the time to say it. But, just
as you do not want to make him feel uncomfortable for his
fantasies, he should not make you feel embarrassed for
suggesting something (“You wanted to do what to me? That’s
crazy!”). The point is, respect each other and realize that no idea
that is just between the two of you is taboo and anything can be
discussed, but that does not mean everything has to be done!
Have something in place to know when your partner has
reached his limit. It may be a safe word or it may be “I don’t feel
comfortable with that.” But it needs to be discussed beforehand so
you know it’s not part of the act. When getting spanked, some
men may plead and beg for mercy, but that is part of the play. In
other words, they don’t really want you to stop but they enjoy the
torment of having to beg you. So, know when “stop” means “keep
it up, please!” and when “stop” actually means to stop! It’s far
easier to discuss all of this first than it is to learn as you go.
With this important stuff out of the way, let’s get to some
actual tips and tricks on how to make it all happen!

6
 Chapter Three: It’s All About Tone

Perhaps the most important thing I’ve learned about

dominating my husband is that it is all about tone. Allow me to
explain. Your husband probably wants you to take him in hand
(you most likely wouldn’t be reading this if he did not) and you’ve
decided to play along. The first time you do you will most likely
feel a bit unsure and outright silly as you try to make his fantasy
come to life. To be perfectly honest, there’s a good chance the
whole experience will not live up to his expectations. Don’t get me
wrong, this is alright. It takes practice and patience as I previously
mentioned. Remember, do not give up! (Yes, I keep saying that!)
Most people do not hit it out of the park their first time up to bat.
Your husband will probably be nervous too, and uneasy because
he senses you’re uneasy. He may be embarrassed and will regret
even admitting his fantasy in the first place. So, make him feel
comfortable by embracing your role.
Your husband has a fantasy in mind that involves more
than you simply doing certain things. In other words, he desires
more than just you smacking his bum or telling him what you want
him to do for you sexually. He wants you to fully take charge. To
do this, you need to set the right tone.
If you do not set the tone then you are not truly the one in
charge. Think about it this way: if your husband has to keep
instructing you on what to do (“Okay, now spank me” or “Tell me
what you want me to do”), you are not actually in control, he is!
And if he is the one giving the commands he will not feel as if he
were actually dominated.
Remember, your husband may want the mental escape of
surrendering. He wants to totally be under you in every sense of
the word. That is why when you play the dominant role you need
to do just that: truly and utterly dominate your man! Play the part
as if you were chasing an Academy Award. You’ll find the silliness
fades away quickly and the “character” will come more and more
naturally.

Set the Tone Early

7
 Every now and then my husband will ask me to take
charge, but I have gotten good at reading him and I know when he
needs this without him even asking. In these instances I make it a
point to set the tone early in the day. There are several ways this
can be accomplished and all of them are fun! We will discuss the
“how to” in just a moment. But right now I want to stress that
setting the stage early works wonders! Every now and then one
can successfully assume the dominant role in the evening as the
lights go down. More often than not though, the dynamic works
better when it has time to build. In other words, the sex is the
grand finale, not the total package. If you take the time to control
your man throughout the day, by the time night rolls around, he’ll
be so submissive he won’t dare dream of defying you! And, he will
have truly had the experience he has craved and fantasized
about. Perhaps it is as simple as pulling him aside that morning
and letting him know in no uncertain terms that he will be
answering to you that day. However you choose to do it, I
recommend making a day out of it. Let it build slowly as the day
progresses. When your day begins with a bit of dominance you’ll
find your night ends with some mind blowing sex!

Use Technology
Text messaging is wonderful. When you first begin your
dom/sub play, you may feel silly actually voicing commands or
audibly telling your man that you’re in charge. So use that
smartphone! I often send a text to my husband when he is at work
letting him know who is calling the shots. Sometimes I message
him to tell him that he can plan on a having a thoroughly spanked
bottom when he arrives home. And, there are a few times when I
have issued a sexy command. This can be tricky, particularly if he
is at work. But there are times when I have texted him to let him
know he had three minutes to send me a picture of his cock or
there would be consequences later. Other times, when he has
been home and I was away, I have texted him with a list of chores,
letting him know that I expected him to have them completed upon
my return. I found that the more I texted the more comfortable I
grew in my role, and eventually I could voice my commands in an
authoritative fashion. Until you reach that point, your phone can

8
come in handy as you do not have to worry about inflection and
tone as much.

It’s All About What You Say and How You Say It
When you begin actually voicing your commands
remember the tone of your voice is very important! Again, your
husband is looking for an experience. So, don’t be afraid to use
that lecturing voice you have (every woman has one) and be
authoritative! How many times have you been in an argument and
your husband informed you that you were talking to him like he’s a
child? Well, here’s your chance to talk to him that way and him not
care. In fact, he’ll like it as it is all part of the experience. Perhaps
there’s a “reason” you’re dishing out punishment. This involves an
element of role play, and at first you will be acting but in time it will
come natural to you. Did he forget to do the dishes? Call him into
the bedroom, sit him down, and give him a stern talking to. Ask
him questions.
“What did I tell you to do?”
“To clean the dishes.”
“And are the dishes done?”
“No, ma’am.”
“And what do you think should happen? Should you be
punished?”
I know, I know, it sounds silly but it’s a great deal of fun and
that is the sort of thing he is looking for! At the risk of repeating
myself too much, remember, he wants the total package and the
complete experience. He doesn’t fantasize about you using an
unsure voice and saying things like, “Ummm…now bend over, and
I guess I’ll slap your butt.” That is not a dominant woman! So, be
mindful of what you say and how you say it. Don’t be afraid to
really take charge and use lecturing as a tool. Get on to him, so to
speak, and it will drive him wild.

Dictate How He is to Address You

When you are taking the role as a dominant wife, tell your
man how he is to address you. The title I personally prefer is
“ma’am.” When we are playing my husband knows he is to
answer in “yes, ma’am,” or “no, ma’am,” and show me the proper

9
respect I deserve. Some prefer the title “mistress” and then their
first name (Mistress Sally, or Mistress Amy, etc.). Whatever you
prefer, tell him and let him know how he will speak to you. And if
he fails to obey you and forgets to address you by the name you
dictate, then there needs to be consequences!

A Few More Thoughts

Remember, domination works best when you set the stage
long before the sex ever rolls around. In fact, it’s best to make him
wait for the sex. I’ve done this for days and created an extended
mood of submission in him before finally letting him release his
sexual tension. You can do this sort of thing in secret, even when
out in public. Pull him aside some and remind him you are in
charge. Or, make him continue to call you your designated title
throughout the day. You can always suspend play when you need
to (for real life) but then pick it back up later in the day when you
are alone. Draw the experience out.
Sometimes this obviously isn’t practical and you may only
have one day or a few hours. Whatever the case, build up to the
sex and string him along for a while. He will get to be putty in your
hands if you tease him but make him wait (more on that later). But
set the proper tone from the beginning and your husband will get
his entire fantasy fulfilled. By the time you’re finished, he’ll be
willing to do whatever you want!

10
 Chapter Four: Humiliation

Humiliation is a tricky topic, but it is a major part of the

femdom fantasy. Men who fantasize about submitting often
fantasize about being humiliated by their mistress. I write femdom
fiction and have had some success at it. The first story I wrote
was a simple one called “Submitting to Her” in which a husband
flunks a college course, lies about it but is caught, only to face
harsh discipline in the form of spanking from his lovely wife. It sold
fairly well and I received positive feedback. However, one
complaint that came up several times was there was not enough
humiliation. So, I wrote another one entitled “Caned by My Wife’s
Sister,” in which the husband was caught doing something
naughty by his sister-in-law and she tells on him. The story ends
with the poor man receiving the cane across his bare bottom. A
major aspect of the story is that he is humiliated by being
punished in front of someone else other than his wife. This story
was far more popular than the first and sells copies just about
every day! In some of my other femdom fiction I increased the
humiliation factor even more. In fact, I’ve written some that I would
never actually do (sorry, guys) but people like them because they
feel the lead male character is properly embarrassed.
My point is most men who fantasize about being dominated
want to be humiliated to a certain extent. In fact, all dom/sub play
involves an element of humiliation. After all, it’s pretty humiliating
for an adult to be bent over something and spanked after
receiving a stern lecture. So, the whole fantasy is grounded in an
element of this. Why is humiliation sexy to some? Probably
because it’s a bit risky, daring, and “dangerous.” I do not mean
dangerous in the sense that someone may get hurt, but
dangerous in the way that your partner is surrendering to such an
extent that he would even do something utterly embarrassing if
you command him to. There is a major trust component that goes
with humiliation because the sub is saying, “I will submit to
whatever you want, but I trust that you will not do something too
crazy to me.” In a way, that is very thrilling. It is also thrilling

11
because it may be taboo, different, or that sense of not knowing
what is coming next.
Let’s take panties as an example (which we’ll discuss in
better detail below). You command your man to wear panties. This
in and of itself would be humiliating to him. But putting them on
and coming before you, wearing them and exposed in them, is
exciting because it’s out of the ordinary; it’s not supposed to be
happening, and there’s a certain level of anxiousness that
accompanies it, and that releases endorphins and therefore is
pleasurable (for some).
Before we go any further, let me throw out a word of
caution about humiliation. Never degrade your husband or tease
him about something that he is actually sensitive about. In other
words, if he has self-image issues over weight, do not use his
weight as a means to humiliate him! Do not use his profession, his
appearance, family, or anything that is real in an effort to
embarrass him. It all boils down to respect. You may wonder how
we can talk about respect in a discussion about ways to humiliate
your husband for sexual gratification. But remember, this is simply
fantasy, make-believe, and pretend. You do not want to do
anything that will cause lasting emotional or physical harm. This is
not your time to air all your grievances out or nitpick every little
thing he does that annoys you. This is about playing around and
having some fun. So, in the context of the fantasy, humiliate away!
But when it comes to real life, always show love, respect, and
kindness.
I am also not including extreme examples of humiliation,
such as cuckolding (having sex with another man while you make
your husband watch) or anything that condones adultery (not
cool). And, I’ll dispense with the unrealistic fantasies, as well.
Because of decency laws, your reputation, and other factors you
obviously don’t want to do anything too extreme. I’m not going to
suggest, “Have your husband gangbanged in the town square by
ten women wearing strap-ons,” or anything like that. I’ve written
some pretty crazy scenarios in my fiction, but that is simply
fantasy. So, I’ll stick with giving realistic tips that work in private,
just between the two of you! Some of these may be too extreme
for a few of you, and that’s alright. As always, this is about

12
whatever you feel comfortable with. I’ll admit, some of these ideas
aren’t for everyone, so pick the ones that work for you or be
creative and come up with your own! It’s not hard and you’ll find it
comes fairly easy with a bit of thought. In the meantime, though,
here’s a few to get you started.

Possibilities
With the explanation and the warning out of the way, let’s
get to the fun stuff! Here are some ways in which you can use
humiliation as an effective domination tool.

Panties—One common tool dominant women use to show

their authority is the use of punishment panties. It’s pretty
embarrassing for a man to have to put on a pair of ladies undies,
and the frillier and lacier they are, the better! This is not to be
confused with a fetish some men have where they receive a thrill
from wearing them. There are quite a few heterosexual men who
get off on wearing women’s underwear (ever seen the film Ed
Wood?). With the whole femdom fantasy, though, the actual
wearing of panties is not what arouses the man, but rather the
humiliation that comes from it. So the panties themselves do not
turn them on, but the fact that you made him wear them does! It
also puts him in a mood of submission. The panty punishment
(and the others below dealing with items he has to wear) works
best when combined with other elements. Don’t just make him
wear panties for a minute while he hops under the covers of the
bed. Rather, make him wear panties while he does his chores
around the house (if you’re alone, obviously). Or, make him wear
them all day under his clothes!

Chastity Devices—You might be surprised how many

couples make use of chastity devices when exploring submission
play. These devices are made from soft material that does not hurt
(often rubber) and simply fit around the cock. The man can still
use the restroom, and it does not cause pain having the device
on. But, he cannot get an erection! This is fun to use when teasing
your man for long periods of time. You may masturbate while he
watches helplessly from the sidelines. Or, make him wear one all

13
day (easily concealed in clothing and no one can tell), and
continually do little things that you know will arouse him. It is
frustrating, torturous, and it will make him putty in your hands!
He’ll be begging to cum before it is all over. You hold the key
(literally) and if he wants freedom he has to earn it. Chastity
devices can easily be ordered online (Amazon sells them) and are
not terribly expensive. Your man will hate it and love it all at the
same time!

Diapers—Diapers are fairly common in domination play,

because it is something humiliating one can wear that, like
panties, induces submission. Having your husband stand before
you in nothing but a diaper will most certainly put him in his place.
Like panties and the fetish some men have, this is different from
age play, which is another fetish altogether. For most submissive
men, the thrill comes from the humiliation. Have him do the
dishes, put away the laundry, or simply watch TV while diapered.
It doesn’t get much more embarrassing than that.

Nakedness—Having your husband parade around naked

while you remain fully clothed is another good tool to make use of.
While probably not as humiliating as the others, he will feel inferior
to you as you retain your position of authority. You dictate when
your clothes will come off, and when his will!

Just Desserts—Shifting gears from things they can wear,

let’s talk about something they can do: cum eating. Yep, you read
that right. A common dominatrix technique is to tell the man that
he is allowed to cum but must earn it by “cleaning up” after himself
once he is finished. If he won’t swallow, make him hold it in his
mouth for a certain period of time while you set a timer. Once the
preset time is up, let him spit. Or, simply take the semen and give
him a facial by rubbing it about his lips and face.
Another variation of this is making him clean you after sex.
If you allow him to cum inside of you, make him use his tongue to
collect it and tidy up. This is extremely effective!

14
 Suck It—If you have a dildo, and you should (!), make him
suck on it a bit. This act is foreign to men, and it will certainly
humiliate him. It is even better if you pleasure yourself with it a bit
first, then have him throat it while you watch and guide him.

There are plenty of other ways that a dominant woman can

lord over her man, and the above suggestions are simply starting
points. Be creative! You know your husband and you know what
would work on him, so don’t be afraid to experiment. You’ll find
some things work better than others. But in order for your man to
truly have his femdom fantasy fulfilled, it is important that you
work in some humiliation.

15
 Chapter Five: Punishments (Other Than Spanking)

Spanking is the big one when it comes to punishment, and

almost all dom/sub play includes a healthy dose of corporal
punishment. The discipline ideas I’m going to present below are
not meant to take the place of a good paddling, but rather
supplement it.
Before we get to the tips and tricks, let me address the
whole subject of punishment for a moment. Yes, this is all fantasy
as I have already stated. But, punishment may be one area where
the fantasy crosses into real life and it can be tricky. The
submissive husband wants to be disciplined! It may be fantasy,
but he wants that total package I keep mentioning. So, it is
important to have a reason why he is being punished. Perhaps he
has slacked off on his chores recently, or failed to meet a deadline
he should have. Whatever the case may be, the experience will
seem more real if there is a reason behind the discipline. It could
be something as simple as you tell him you haven’t liked his
attitude recently or he has failed to show you the proper respect
(that’s a good “catch all” when you need a reason). But whatever
reason you go with, sell it! Give that lecture and let him know
exactly why the punishment is taking place. Remember, tone is
very important!

Writing Lines—This is a classic. Get out some lined paper,

a pencil, and have him write something like, “I will be a good boy
and will obey my wife” twenty-five times, or whatever sentence
you choose. Let him know that you will be checking penmanship,
and any sentence that does not meet your strict standards will be
re-written!

Copying Pages—Did you ever have to copy a page from

the dictionary in school? This is a very effective punishment and
will detour future naughty behavior! If you don’t have a dictionary,
select any book. Either way, it’s extremely effective.

16
 Definitions—Give him a set of words he must define.
Maybe you’ll let him look the definition up online but he has to
write them all down by hand. Whatever you choose, this will no
doubt do the trick.

Essays—Have him write a 2,500 essay on why he should

obey you or maybe about a time when he needed discipline. I
even read of one strict wife who made her man read a book on
obedience and then write a book report. Again, be creative!

Corner Time—This is a classic that worked when he was a

child and will work now that he is an adult! Few things are as bad
as having to stand in the corner for five minutes. Note: This is one
of those punishments that is good when combined with another.
Have him stand in the corner wearing something humiliating. Or,
have him face the corner while wearing a chastity device while
you pleasure yourself within earshot. It will drive him wild as he is
not allowed to look and not allowed to touch you or himself!

Chores—Idle hands are the devil’s playthings, so keep

your man busy! Assign chores around the house. Chores are a
good way to fulfill his discipline fantasy and a good way for you to
get some much needed housework done! This is another
combination one, where he can do his chores wearing the
punishment panties, etc.

Remember, these punishments are not meant to take the

place of the granddaddy of them all, spanking, but are great tools
to use. They enhance the whole submission experience and will
leave your husband feeling as if he has been truly dominated.

17
 Chapter Six: Spanking

The big one. The final destination. The main event. Most
femdom fantasies men have involve a healthy dose of spanking! I
don’t know why adult spanking is considered so erotic, but it is
near universally loved by men and women and studies show it is
by far the most common form of “kink” couples experiment with.
Most people, as an adult, have either spanked or been spanked at
least once in their life.
Let’s go back to that point that I keep reiterating: the total
package. When spanking your husband, a few quick playful
smacks on the bum will not suffice. I guarantee you that your
husband wants more. So, make spanking sort of the main event
(obviously, orgasms are the climax of the show, but spanking is a
close second!).
We will look at instruments and positions in a moment, but
first let’s review some “do’s” and “don’ts” of spanking.
Do give a warm-up spanking! A warm-up spanking serves
several purposes. First of all, it gets the nerve endings in one’s
bottom ready to receive the harder, main spanking that follows. It
is sort of like stretching and walking for five minutes before getting
to the main part of your workout routine. Warm-up spankings are
lighter and are not too long. Use your hand or a wooden spoon to
properly prepare your husband’s bottom for his punishment.
Another positive element is the warm-up spanking extends the
punishment and makes it longer.
Do take your time! A few slaps on the rear isn’t a spanking.
Don’t be afraid to give it long and hard; that’s what he wants! If
you’re giving a good old-fashioned hand spanking, spend a few
minutes on it (and I only recommend the hand for warm-up, not
the big show, if time permits. If you are in a setting and your hand
is all you have then that’s another story). When you move on to
the main show, with whatever instrument you choose to use,
make it last and don’t rush it.
Do talk before, during, and after the spanking! Remember
the point about lecturing? Tell him why he is being disciplined and
then keep it up some during the actual spanking. If he’s not in the

18
right position, tell him! If he’s been particularly naughty, tell him
while you’re making his bottom burn. And, a good lecture to wrap
it up is always nice, too.
Do make him actually feel it! A spanking is supposed to
sting! He wants it to sting! He may even cry a bit during the
punishment, and that is okay. Spanking can be a great emotional
release. If it is actually too intense, he will use the agreed upon
safe word or phrase to let you know. Otherwise, he may whimper,
beg, or sob a bit and that’s fine. Don’t be afraid to make him feel
it. If he did not want the sensation he would not be asking for a
spanking in the first place. So, don’t be afraid; the sting is what he
wants.
Now for a couple of “don’ts”…
Don’t make a joke out of it. If you act like it’s all a gag he
will walk away unsatisfied. He wants to be disciplined, not to play
around.
Don’t (and this is important) aim too high! The back is a
sensitive area and you do not want to hurt the spine or tailbone! If
anything, aim too low as you’ll just hit the fleshy part of the back of
his legs, which is okay. Be careful and properly line up the swats
before you give them. While the spanking is supposed to sting, it
is obviously not supposed to do actual, long-term damage.
Instruments
There are a number of tools one can use to punish naughty
husbands and all of them bring something different to the
experience.

Wooden Spoon—Every strict wife should have a good,

sturdy wooden spoon. Don’t get the cheap, flimsy kind as he won’t
even feel it. But get a hefty, solid one that can deliver a great
whack. The trick with the spoon is (and it is the same for many
instruments and even your hand), don’t stick to one area. Bring
the spoon down in one spot several times and then move on until
every area of the bottom is covered. Then, start all over and do it
again.

Belt—The belt can deliver a very intense blow, so you

obviously wouldn’t spank as long with it as you would with your

19
hand or the spoon. But, don’t go skimpy! There will be plenty of
shifting, squirming, and moaning as he takes the belt on his bare
bottom. While it delivers a harsh sting, don’t be afraid to give it to
him!

Cane—Even worse than the belt is a cane! A spanking

cane is a long, thin piece of wood that delivers an extremely
intense sensation. Here’s the key: don’t bring your arm back far
and come down hard with full power. Rather, just use a small but
tough flick of the wrist. The cane leaves red marks and don’t be
afraid when you see them. You’re not hurting him long-term and
they will fade fairly quickly. Ten strokes with the cane is probably
enough as it is quite intense! You can find canes online, even
Amazon, but I have an alternative version that works great. The
wand used to turn your mini-blinds, whether plastic or wooden,
can serve as an effective cane. Remember, it is intense. Aim low
and be careful not to get his back! That little wand can correct
whatever errant behavior he has in a hurry.

Paddle—Perhaps nothing is as effective as a good old

fashioned paddle, preferably with holes drilled into it. Once again,
Amazon comes to the rescue and you can find some great ones
for sale at relatively inexpensive prices (I recommend the brand
Paddle Daddy). Like the cane, the paddle can be quite intense, so
ten to fifteen swats may do the trick. In a pinch, if you need one
quick, buy a table tennis paddle and use it. It will not be as intense
as an actual spanking paddle, but it will do the job (this works
good for over-the-knee spankings, which we will cover below).

Flogger—While technically not a spanking instrument, the

flogger can be a great tool that provides some variety to the
corporal punishment experience. You can buy a good, soft flogger
that is perfect for beginners. I recommend reading up on flogging
first before you do this. You do not want to flog too low on the
back as you can get dangerously close to vital organs. The
average flogger bought at an online sex toy outlet is not too
intense, so you’ll most likely be in the clear. However, focus on the
upper back just to be on the safe side. And be careful not to wrap

20
the flogger around his body when you give the lashes, as this can
be detrimental as well. Again, the flogger that comes in your
average kinky sex kit isn’t going to be too harsh, but always
practice caution!

Positions
How you position your husband is very important. Below
are some suggestions that may help as you search for the one
that is right for you. Comfort and safety for you, and him, are very
important!

Over-the-Knee or Across the Lap—This position is fairly

common, and yes it is possible for a smaller woman to take a
larger man over her knee. It may work better, however, to have
him across your lap. On this one, I like to sit on the middle cushion
of the couch and have him lay on his stomach across my lap
where he has plenty of room. Sometimes, with one hand, it works
best to hold his hands in place behind his back. Whatever you
choose, it is best if you have his bum over your right knee or thigh.
He will be in the perfect position for you to pepper his naughty
derriere with the proper amount of smacks. This position is good
when using your hand, the spoon, or perhaps a hairbrush that has
a wide, flat back. The table tennis paddle can also be used, but
anything larger simply does not work effectively.

Grabbing His Ankles or Knees—The tried and true

classic of grabbing the ankles is a great position that lends itself
well to the paddle or the cane. It is easy to aim too high, though,
so watch where the instrument lands. This position also adds to
the humiliation factor, too, and does the job well!

Bent Over the Bed—This is a great one that really works

no matter what instrument you’re using. Simply position him to
where his feet are on the floor and he is bent over the edge of the
bed. To get his bottom high enough you will want to put a pillow or
two under him (this also adds some comfort and makes it easier
for him to stay in position). Again, good with the paddle, spoon,

21
cane, or whatever strikes your fancy. You can substitute the bed
and use another piece of furniture, such as the armrest of the
couch, too.

Diaper Position—This position gets its name from how it

looks: the spankee lays on his back flat on the floor and his legs
are lifted in the air while his bottom comes off the ground (as if you
were sliding a diaper underneath, hence the name). You then
spank his exposed tush. This position can be good when using
the wooden spoon or even the belt. Some people feel as if this
position makes it hard to breathe, so be careful! If it is too
strenuous for your husband just skip it. If it is not, this position can
leave them very vulnerable and add an extra dose of humiliation
to their discipline. It is an intense one.

Lying on the Bed—This position is probably the most

comfortable for the spanker, so it is great for particularly long
punishment sessions. They simply lay on the bed, on their
stomach, with pillows positioned underneath their waist to prop up
their bottoms. It works best if you use several pillows. This is a
great position that can be used with a variety of instruments, but is
particularly good for the spoon or small paddles. The cane works
fine, too, though you will need to move it in a downward motion
rather than a side-to-side motion.

Spice Up That Spanking!

Add some spice to it! A fun game to play is rolling the
punishment dice. Take a pair of dice and tell your partner that he
must role to see how many swats he will receive. There is an
element of chance and he may come out the winner (or loser,
depending how he views it) by rolling two 1’s. Or, he could roll
double sixes and have to take twelve painful whacks.
Another fun element is a punishment box. This is just a
small box or jar where all the spanking instruments you own are
written on pieces of paper and placed in at random. Shake the
box, then have your partner draw to see what you’re going to use
on his well deserving bottom! He may get the cane, the paddle, or
anything else you’ve included. This all adds an element of fun and

22
anticipation to the punishment and the waiting and potential for
harsher punishments or lesser punishments can be thrilling.

Mix It Up!
For a very intense spanking, use multiple instruments over
the course of one session. For example, start with your hand, then
give him a minute with the spoon before moving on to three swats
with the paddle and then five with the cane. You do not have to
stick with one device for the entire punishment. Mixing it up can
add a variety of sensations to the experience and make for a
better spanking.

Final Thoughts on Spanking

Remember, spanking is a big deal! It is a major part of the
fantasy, so take the time and learn to do it right. You may not hit it
out of the park on your first attempt, but don’t give up. Keep trying
and eventually you’ll be an expert. And I’m sure your husband
doesn’t mind the experimentation. He will make for a very willing
test subject…

23
 Chapter Seven: Pegging

Pegging may be the ultimate act of domination that a

woman can do to her man. Pegging is basically anal penetration
with a strap-on dildo. Basically, you have the “penis” in this case
and you’re giving it to him! Some men are intrigued by this idea
and some men, even one’s with strong femdom fantasies, are not
interested. Talk to your husband and see if this sort of play is right
for him. Think about it and make sure that it is right for you, too!
You may not feel comfortable being in that role, and as with
everything we’ve discussed, that is alright! Don’t cross any
boundary you are not comfortable crossing.
If you choose to do this I do have some helpful hints. First
of all, start small! A big, girthy and long dildo is not the way to go.
Find a soft one that is no bigger than one of your fingers to first
penetrate him. A word of warning, though: things can, ummm…
get lost in there. There are dildos specially made for anal use that
have something on the end to keep them from going too far inside
the anal cavity. Be safe! You don’t want any late night trips to the
emergency room where you have to explain aspects of your love
life to a hospital staff. And your poor husband sure doesn’t want to
have folks having to go in after anything.
Use plenty of lubrication! When you think you’ve lubed him
up enough, use a bit more. This is an area where you can do a lot
of damage so always err on the side of caution.
With the potential risks (which can be easily negated by
simply being careful), why should one try pegging? First of all, it is
the ultimate act of domination. Imagine bending your husband
over and taking him from behind! It is the ultimate role reversal.
Secondly, it can be very pleasurable for your husband. The
prostate gland has been called the “male g-spot” by some
because of the intense sensation that can be achieved by milking
it. If you peg him just right, he may have a mind blowing orgasm!
In fact, some men can cum simply through prostate play, so don’t
be surprised if he shoots the wad without even touching his cock.
There are also double-ended dildos that can be used with strap-
on harnesses that deliver pleasure to you, too. So, your clit can be

24
worked while his prostate is, and both of you can arrive through
the act. This experience can be intense, fun, and intimate if done
the right way. Remember, start small! Use plenty of lube and play
it safe! This can be a very rewarding experience but can also be
intimidating for the uninitiated. Do plenty of research and read
product reviews online before making your purchase. And lastly,
enjoy!

25
 Chapter Eight: Closing Thoughts

I hope this brief guide is helpful and I hope the knowledge

aids you in radically enhancing your sex life. Please use these
suggestions as merely a jumping off point and research more,
read plenty of product reviews and the experiences of others, and
be creative. You have it within you to be an awesome dominatrix!
You have the potential to make your husband’s wildest fantasies
come true. You also have the potential to learn the power that
comes with taking charge and receive a lot of pleasure, yourself!
So, go make it happen and have some fun!

© 2015 Paddington House Press-Rebecca Lawson

Disclaimer: The publishers are not responsible for any

injury that may occur from following the suggestions set forth in
this book. You try each idea at your own risk. Be safe, be smart,
and know your limits!

26
 Introduction
I was blown away by the positive response I received from
my first book in this series, Dominatrix 101. I wrote the brief work
in order to pass along some tips and tricks I had learned when
researching ways to make my husband’s fantasies come true. As I
stated in that volume, my husband and I like to play…a lot! After
years, he finally confided in me that he often fantasizes about me
taking charge and disciplining him when necessary, controlling
him sexually, and generally keeping him in line. At first, I wasn’t
quite sure of what to think as that was NOT a fantasy of mine.
However, I wanted to make his wildest dreams come true, so I
scoured the Internet, read articles, and researched how to take
control of my man. After several years, I’ve not only learned a few
things, but I’ve discovered I actually like it, too!
As stated in that previous work, we do not live the fantasy
24/7. I have not stopped thinking of my husband as “a man,” and
he has not given up being masculine. Sometimes, however, he
surrenders control to me and I willfully take charge. One
reoccurring theme I’ve heard about Dominatrix 101 is that it is
realistic. I’m grateful to hear that, as I tried to keep the content
grounded in reality! Many books and sites I’ve read were
presented as factual, but were clearly works of over the top fiction.
I do not want this second volume to fall into that trap! That is why I
am only including real stories, told to me by friends and
acquaintances I know who are “into the lifestyle,” so to speak. In
each case I have permission to tell the story. However, some
names have been changed. In some cases I have cleaned up
grammar, punctuation, and edited out parts of stories that did not
flow well, or that were repetitive. I have not embellished or added
to anyone’s experience! The stories presented here are true; they
have just been tidied up to the best of my limited ability. Some of
the words used to tell these stories are mine, but the experiences
themselves are true and were relayed to me by the ones who
actually lived them.
Since these tales are factual, they may not be as
sensationalistic as some are hoping for. For example, some of the
aforementioned “true” examples I have read on websites and in

27
other books were bizarre and outlandish. (“My wife hypnotized me
every night convincing me I was a girl, until I finally had gender
reassignment surgery and now I am her sissy girl forever”…etc.)
For those of you who are new to this sort of play, some of
the stories may be too extreme. As with my first book, I
recommend you simply take what you like and use them as
starting points and discard the rest. Remember, domination and
submission play is all about what you and your partner like, and
above all, it should be fun! If you are not into a particular brand of
kink, just leave it on the shelf and move on to the next one. Don’t
do anything you are not comfortable with. But, do not ridicule your
partner for suggesting it, either. Simply discuss boundaries and
communicate!
As with the first one, there are no stories of adultery, which
I find detestable. I am committed to my husband and he is
committed to me. In fact, that is one reason why I have written this
book: we have amazing sex and make sure we satisfy each
other’s needs, wants, and fantasies. Couples who play together,
stay together (even if the saying is clichéd).
I will say that this work may seem to deviate from simple
play to actual FLR (female led relationships). No, we do not live
the fantasy every day all day, but we do live it a lot! Sometimes, I
discipline my husband for actual infractions because that is what
he wants! Again, it does not mean he is any less of a man, or that
I view him differently. It simply means sometimes our “play” and
fantasies can go on for days. Sometimes, we go through weeks
without any if “real life” circumstances dictate. Again, take what
you like and simply leave the rest. This brief book is only meant as
a starting point and my hope is that it gets your creative juices
flowing (among other “juices”) and that you use it as a springboard
for your own kinky adventure!
Rather than simply passing on tips and suggestions, I have
chosen to focus more on actual examples and real-life stories.
Some of this territory was covered in the first book, but this time
around I’ve provided actual instances where it occurred. Reading
how others implemented certain practices can be a great teaching
tool. Plus, sometimes it’s just hot to read other folks’ stories! Some
of these stories are actually mine, and one of the men who share

28
in this work is my husband. So, I can personally attest that this
book is born out of much fun!
I started this work with “alternative punishments,” and do
not spend much time on them. They are effective, but are not all
that juicy. I included them though because they are particularly
effective when paired with other techniques discussed in later
chapters. The bulk of time is certainly spent on humiliation and
spanking, which are the bread and butter, so to speak. I believe
humiliation is absolutely essential to a female led relationship, so
you may want to pay careful attention to that section.
I always enjoy reader feedback! Please contact me with
your own stories or suggestions, or just let me know if the book
has helped you. Husbands, since I avoid the unrealistic extremes I
mentioned above, this may be a good resource to introduce to
your wife. Wives, I know the fantasy your man is having may
seem off-putting at first, as most women do not wake up one day
and out of the blue decide they want to test the dominatrix or strict
wife waters. But, with a little patience and practice, and an open
mind, you can grow to enjoy the role and have a lot of fun!
A brief disclaimer: Try this at your own risk! Do not do
anything that will physically or emotionally harm you or your
partner! This is about fun, not pain. You two know your limites!
So, with that in mind, let’s get to some tips, tricks,
examples, and real-life stories highlighting some strict wives and
some very naughty husbands.

Rebecca Lawson

rebeccalawsonpress@[Link]

29
 Chapter One: Alternative Punishments
Spanking is the big show when it comes to disciplining
naughty males. But, sometimes other forms of punishment may
be in order. It may be that you are in a situation where a spanking
just isn’t appropriate because the kids, family, or others are
around and you need to keep a low profile. And sometimes, it’s
just fun to dish out some alternative forms of discipline on top of
the corporal punishment just because. Then there are those times
when your husband really messes up and his infraction is severe
so the discipline needs to be just as severe! Whatever the case,
variety is the spice of being a dominant wife, and it is important
not to fall into the “boring trap.” In other words, mix the discipline
up a little, lest your man get comfortable and forget who is really in
charge!

Steven:
“Probably the worst trouble I’ve ever been in was when I
dropped one of my college courses without telling my wife! I tried
to hide it from her because I knew she would be upset. I should
have graduated long ago, so I was already behind. For whatever
reason, I just couldn’t get it together academically. Anyway, a
letter came in the mail one day to inform me that my status had
changed from “full-time student” to “part-time.” It messed up my
financial aid and some other stuff. Needless to say, the Mrs. was
not happy with me! She was actually waiting on me to get home (I
was supposed to be in that class I had dropped, so for the sake of
appearances I just drove around and I think even went to the
movies that day. I hadn’t planned on her getting the mail). She
questioned me about the letter and I had to come clean. I could
tell she was mad and this was not an act! In fact, there was
NOTHING sexual about any of this! She was angry that I had
dropped the class without talking to her and that I had lied about
it. Since I was attending school and she was the one working, she
was also upset that I had wasted the money and the tuition was
non-refundable at that point (student loans were involved…long
story).

30
 Anyway, rather than scream and yell, she remained calm
and went out that night to think about everything, leaving me at
home. I figured she’d come back in a better mood, ready to let
bygones be bygones, but I was wrong. Instead, she sat me down,
just before bed, and told me how disappointed she was. She
lectured me for a long time.
She knew where I kept my school papers, so she had the
course syllabus. Instead of me having more free time because I
was no longer attending the class, she actually made me
complete the assignments and turn them in to her! She would
actually grade them and made sure they met the proper
standards, and I’m pretty sure she was stricter than my professor.
On top of that, I had to work to “pay back” the money I had wasted
on tuition. That meant my household chores were doubled. I even
had to go help her parents and other family members with projects
on weekends, until she felt I had sufficiently paid back the money
that had been spent on the unfinished course. That was not a fun
semester.”

Rob:
“I hate math! Unfortunately, my wife knows I do. So, certain
actions mean I find myself sitting at the dining room table with
math worksheets that I must complete. My wife is a teacher, so
she has access to all sorts of things that can really make my life
miserable. When I step out of line, or I just get restless and she
needs to settle me down, I have to work out the problems and the
whole experience is very frustrating! Just like a student, I cannot
get up from the table without raising my hand and asking
permission, even just to run to the bathroom. There’s no
television, no phone or internet, and nothing until my assigned
work is completed. Then she reviews it and if I messed up, she
shows me how to do the problem, but then gives me a different
one that is similar to work out on my own.
Being an educator gives her all sorts of ideas about how to
discipline me. I have written lines, copied definitions from the
dictionary, and even copied whole pages from books. One time I
even had to read a book and write a five page report on it. Believe
me, I’d rather take a spanking! The work is tiresome and tedious,

31
and it drives me crazy, but it does its intended job…you better
believe just the threat of it all keeps me in line!”

Kylie:
“I make use of chores in order to keep my husband out of
trouble, and just to remind him who is in charge. I actually have a
chore chart that hangs on the wall in our closet (out of sight from
the kids and company that may come over). But, it has the tasks
he is to complete that week and when he does them, a star sticker
is placed on the chart. If he fails to complete his assigned duties,
or if he is just disobedient in general, a ‘frownie face’ sticker is
placed on the chart. Five frowns equal more punishment (usually
corporal or a grounding from TV or from going out with his
friends). However, if he does what he’s supposed to and gets all
gold stars, he receives a reward on Saturday night (usually in the
form of something sexual). I know it may sound crazy to some, but
he gets off task easily and he actually likes this system as it keeps
him focused. He naturally is a bit lazy and hates housework, but
since turning it into something kind of ‘kinky,’ he is a lot more
eager to do what needs to be done! And, I have a much cleaner
house so I’m happy.”

There are several other examples of alternative

punishments. Many strict wives make regular use of corner time
as this puts a naughty man in his place. However, these stories
are probably the blandest, so I’ve decided not to share them all.
However, there are plenty of creative ways to get your husband’s
attention. Like Rob’s wife did with math, find what is truly a
punishment for him and use it! Some men love to be spanked
(however, if a spanking is done properly it can become a
punishment even for those individuals, but more on that later), so
a spanking isn’t always an ideal punishment. If you are truly trying
to correct errant behavior, or just give your husband the total
“dominant wife” experience he dreams of, you have to find
discipline measures that are unappealing to him…things he truly
dislikes!
Humiliation goes hand in hand with punishment and is far
more fun to talk about. So, with that in mind, let’s hear how some

32
misbehaving men are humiliated by their superior wives…

33
 Chapter Two: Humiliation
I am not simply trying to sell books here (although I
certainly don’t mind doing so), but before you go too far on
humiliating your husband, I recommend reading the chapter in
Dominatrix 101 that discusses the topic. To briefly summarize,
humiliation is sexy because it is daring and risky. The one being
humiliated is submitting so fully to their partner that they will do
anything required of them. Such surrender is sexy to many and
adventurous. Not only that, but there is a trust factor involved that
says, “I know you care about me and won’t do anything too
harmful.” Personally, I never humiliate my husband using
something he is actually sensitive about! I do not want to cause
lasting emotional harm or cause hurt within our relationship. I love
my husband and my goal is not to harm his feelings or tear him
down in any way. For example, if your husband has been out of
work or is trying hard to get a promotion but keeps being denied,
do not use that to degrade or humiliate him. That is something
very real that he is sensitive about and should not be used against
him. I read one example of a woman who taunted her husband
over his inability to get her pregnant. While that may have worked
for them to sexualize the situation in order to deal with it, my first
reaction upon reading it was, “Stop! Stop! Stop!” That man is not a
failure and does not need to be treated as such. Instead, the
couple should love unconditionally, support each other, and find
alternative means to grow their family. In other words, be careful
what you use when toying with humiliation. There is “real life” and
there is fantasy, and be extremely careful about blurring those
lines. I know that warning may sound odd as this whole work is
about blurring those lines to a certain extent (i.e., actually
punishing your husband for misdeeds, etc,). But, humiliation, if
done incorrectly, can hurt one’s spirit as well as one’s marriage.
That being said, my husband totally gets off on being
humiliated, and I have to admit I find it all quite fun. Some of these
ideas may work for some, but others may find them too extreme.
Remember, dom and sub play is all about you, so do not feel
pressured to do anything you are not comfortable with. If you are
willing, I think you will find a liberal dose of humiliation goes a long

34
way to ratchet up the sexual tension, as well as put your man in
his proper, submissive place! Plus, it is just outright thrilling for all
involved, but especially for your husband as he follows you with a
reckless abandonment.

Panties and Diapers

Steven:
“I remember the first time my wife really humiliated me and
it was so sexy! She told me that morning that we would be going
to the mall and a trip to the lingerie store was in our immediate
future. Once we were there, she told me to pick five pairs of
panties that I liked. Naturally I thought they would be on her, but I
was wrong! Once I pointed to the pairs I wanted, she would grab
them and hold them, so I didn’t see what size she was actually
buying. When we got home, I was told they were for me. It took
me a minute to realize she wasn’t joking. At that time we were
kind of new to the whole FLR thing and I had only received a few
spankings here and there, but nothing too serious. That night,
however, I found myself having to wear a cotton number that had
frilly lace around the waistband and around the leg holes, and that
is all I was allowed to wear! She had me twirl for her, bend over,
and parade around in nothing but my panties, all while she
laughed and made comments about how pretty I looked in my
girlie underwear. She used this mocking sort of tone, and the
whole thing was really embarrassing. She didn’t even allow me to
cum that night, but rather I had to pleasure her while I got
absolutely nothing! She even laughed at the sight of my cock
bulging in the feminine underpants, but made no effort to relieve
my pressure. I had to sleep in those panties, and the next
morning, after my shower, I had to wear another pair all day under
my clothes. Now, panties are a regular part of our play, and I even
have to wear them to work some days.
Sometimes, when I’m wearing them under my clothes in
public, she will make comments that others can hear. She never
outright lets them know I am in panties, but will say things like,
‘Don’t get your little panties in a wad,’ or things like that. I know
that does not mean folks automatically assume I’m actually

35
wearing women’s underwear, but I cannot help but turn all sorts of
red. It is humiliating but super sexy.”

James
“My humiliation started with wearing panties. My wife not
only had me put on ladies’ undies, but she found the frilliest pair
she could find that have ruffles on the butt and a nice little bow on
the front. A lot of times I have to go about my chores around the
house wearing nothing but the special panties. She has snapped
pictures of me with her phone while I’m doing my housework, and
has commented that she should show some of her girlfriends, but
I don’t think she actually has. But when they’re around, I can’t help
but wonder if they’ve seen and it kind of adds to it all.
Not long ago she decided to take it farther. One day she
watched me pee and to my complete and utter embarrassment,
called me to her when I was done. She inspected the front of the
panties and pointed out that there was a wet spot from where I
had dribbled. I hung my head in shame and promised to be more
careful next time. She simply said, ‘boys will be boys,’ but then
told me she had an ‘easy fix.’ Long story short, she went into the
bathroom, retrieved a thick panty liner, and brought it back to me,
instructing me to put it in. Now, sometimes when I wear my
panties, I have to wear a bulky pad inside to keep my underwear
nice and clean for my wife, who regularly inspects it to make sure
I am in compliance! Totally humiliating!”

Rob
I have worn panties for a while now on occasion, doing it of
course whenever (and wherever) my wife instructs me to. But
sometimes I have to wear “special panties,” and they are even
worse!
A lot of companies in the incontinence business now make
pull-ups for adult women that are supposed to look more like
actual underwear. You guessed it! My wife had me purchase some
one time (I had to go through the line by myself and buy them
from a young lady cashier who said nothing but certainly looked
amused). Then, before we left the store (!) my wife took one out
and sent me into the restroom with instructions to put it on and

36
wear it under my clothes. The rest of our ‘date night’ was spent
with me going around wearing ‘diaper panties,’ with my wife
making the occasional comment. That night I had to sleep in it,
and the next morning, before she would let me change into my
regular underwear, I had to actually use it! I soaked the thing and
peed straight through it, which my wife found hilarious.
My wife keeps a supply in our closet, and some nights I find
myself wearing a pair at her command. Nothing is more
embarrassing than when I am bent over the bed, and my wife
pulls the feminine pull-up down to my knees and gives me a
spanking on my bare bum. Then, when she’s done, she pulls my
bulky panties back up and I have to remain in them all night.”

Rob’s story is a good lead in to discuss diaper discipline.

Diapers are an extremely effective way for inducing submission in
a man as they are thoroughly humiliating. If you really want to
embarrass your man, bulky nappies are a tried and true way.
Here’s more of Rob’s story to highlight the principle.

Rob
“Pretty soon the store-bought pull-ups weren’t enough. She
still puts me in them from time to time, but she’s ordered actual
diapers online and sometimes I have to wear them, instead. There
are times when she’ll simply put one in the bathroom while I
shower and take my regular underwear away, and I know when I
see it that I am to come out diapered. Other times, she’ll have me
retrieve one and bring it to her. Then, she’ll have me lay down
while she diapers me, talking to me like I’m a baby and taunting
me while she does it.
She always uses that ‘baby talk’ voice and says things like,
‘Is your little diapee wet?’ or ‘Do you need changed?’ One time
she even asked that when one of her friends was over! I had to
wear a diaper (under my clothes) and I think her friend thought
she was joking, but I was so nervous that she could hear the
rustle I made every time I walked.
Two times she’s actually had me wear a thick diaper under
my clothes in public. Nothing embarrassed me as much as the
time I had a diaper on in a store and she patted my butt and told

37
me how cute my ‘padded bottom’ looked in my jeans. Other
people were around and I think they heard! I had worn a long
shirt, untucked, in hopes of concealing my embarrassing
wardrobe. Of course, the whole time I was hoping we wouldn’t run
into anyone we know, just in case my unique undergarment was
evident! The whole experience was exciting and my heart races
just thinking about it.”

If you are simply into play and fantasy, a diaper may give
your husband the total humiliation he is seeking. Plus, if you’re
anything like me, you’ll enjoy spanking his padded butt just for fun!
If you actually discipline your husband for errant behavior, a
diaper may go a long way in detouring misdeeds. Either way,
nappies are extremely effective and I highly recommend their use.
But the same can be said about panties: make good use of them!
Remember, combine panty (or diaper) punishment with other
activities such as chores, writing lines, or corner time.

Rob
“There are some nights, when I’m made to do math or copy
definitions, that I sit at the table and work on my assigned tasks in
a diaper. My wife says it kills two birds with one stone:
embarrassing me and taking away the need for bathroom breaks
so I can complete my work faster. It drives me crazy when she
does that!”

It may seem crazy to some of you as humiliation is difficult

for beginners. As with everything mentioned in this work, just start
out slowly and gain some confidence, then move on to the next
level when you feel comfortable. If your husband has the
dominant female fantasy, he more than likely wants to be
humiliated by you in some way, even though you may not
understand this desire. Remember, it is about the thrill and
excitement, as well as the ultimate surrender that allures him. His
heart will race the first time he slips on panties or the first time you
make him stand before you diapered. Just the anticipation alone,
as he waits for the big “reveal” will drive him wild! Yes, the first
time you may laugh and he may feel silly, too. But, play through

38
the awkwardness and the next time it will get easier. Humiliation is
key to a fulfilled dominant wife fantasy! Panties are a good place
to start and a serious dominant wife needs to have at least one
pair of “punishment panties” in her arsenal. But don’t forget about
nappies!

Cum
Men have such a strong desire to cum, and it can be fun to
use it against them. After long periods of submitting to me, my
husband is so turned on that he will be willing to do anything to
make it happen! That means even agreeing to clean up after the
deed is done! It is not unheard of for me to require my man to use
his tongue to tidy up my pussy after sex. This of course has
several benefits. First of all, it is humiliating to him to have to
swallow his own jizz. Most men think nothing of having a woman
swallow their loads, and in fact they outright expect it on occasion.
But, the thought of having semen in their mouth is taboo and
many cringe at the thought. So, forcing him to consume his own
cum is a good way to humiliate him. Plus, when he is licking it out
of you, it of course feels absolutely amazing! Your husband will
receive little to no stimulation from it most of the time, as he has
already released. But, it will give him fantasy fuel for later, and that
is important too. You can always wait an hour, as well, and let him
refuel. But, to get the proper experience, he should every now and
then be forced to swallow fresh jizz as it is an act of ultimate
surrender! Plus, it feels great for you!
His spooge consumption does not have to be out of you.
We will discuss denial in more detail in the next chapter. But, after
a long period of withholding orgasm, most men will need release
so bad that they will even agree to swallow their sticky substance
if they are allowed to masturbate in your presence. Let’s look at
some real life examples to see how this can play out.

Isabella
“I use my husband’s cum a lot to put him in his proper
place! My favorite game is keeping his little cock caged for a week
or more and then releasing him for a quick wanking session. I let
him know that he has only three minutes to play with himself so he

39
better make it fast! Most of the time I allow him to cum on the
crotch of my worn panties, and he knows what is expected of him
upon completion. Once he is finished, I hold the panties to his
face and he dutifully licks his cum until it is all gone and he has
swallowed every last drop like a good boy. The look on his face is
priceless and in the beginning I’d have to pinch his nose and force
a swallow. Now, though, he’s far better trained and he takes it as
he should, but still makes the cutest expressions. Sometimes I
record it and we watch it later, together, just to remind him.”

Claire
“We have tried various ways to save cum once my husband
has released, but that stuff is hard to preserve. The best way is to
keep it in a small, air tight container in the fridge, but this only
works to varying degrees of success. It is pretty nasty when cold
and I don’t have the heart to make him swallow it. But, I will smear
it on his face and give him a thorough facial sometimes, before a
spanking, or ‘just because!’
More often, though, I’ll have him jack-off and then I’ll simply
take the warm, fresh jizz and flick it all over his cute little face
while I laugh. Then, he has to clean the house and go about his
chores while it gets all dried and crusty. I’ve also taken pictures of
him when he has a fresh facial to go back and look at later with
him, of course with me playfully taunting him the entire time.”

Rob
“Some nights my wife lets me cum inside of my panties or
in my diaper. She will get me hard and then take her palm, on the
outside of whatever I’m wearing, and rub me off. I hate having to
sleep in it! It gets sticky and is really uncomfortable, especially
after it hardens, but I have to do it quite a bit. Then, in the
morning, she’ll pull my panties or diaper down and look and kind
of laugh at me. It is pretty torturous but still turns me on just
thinking about it!”

There are so many great ideas on how to incorporate cum

into your dom/sub play! A favorite of mine is making my husband
hold his load in his mouth for a pre-determined time period. I will

40
even set a timer on my phone or on the microwave and make him
watch it while he tries his hardest not to swallow! He is grateful
when I finally allow him to spit, and of course thanks me for being
so gracious and kind toward him.
Another fun thing to do is tease his cock and feed him pre-
cum while you continue to pleasure him. Don’t let that sticky pre-
ejaculation fluid go to waste! Smear it on him or have him swallow
it, but either way be sure to incorporate it sometimes.

Masturbation
Another fun way to humiliate your husband is by
commanding him to masturbate for your amusement. This is more
than simply watching him in the act, though. Taunt him and giggle
while he does it. Make him do various things that may humiliate
him. I have a blowup doll that I have used on occasion, making
my husband use it while I watched and coached him. It
embarrasses him to no end, but I find it rather amusing. Be
creative! Maybe it is having him rub his cock up and down on the
bed while diapered until he cums, or simply jacking off while you
watch. Either way, putting him display for your enjoyment while he
pleasures himself can be great fun and very humiliating for him.

Suck It
Another humiliating act is to have you husband suck on a
dildo. I keep have one that is quite realistic looking, even having
testicles on the base. This is an item that certainly comes in hand
for many reasons (it feels amazing, ladies…get one!). I know
other women who have them, too, and make humiliating use of
them to teach their little subs lessons.

James
“There are times when my wife positions the rubber dong
she keeps on the bed and instructs me to get on my knees and
practice my sucking. She coaches me, taunts me, and tells me
exactly what to do. Or, sometimes she has it on the couch and I
am to kneel and practice “my technique” for fifteen minutes. She
explained that it puts me in a submissive state and that
sometimes it is just needed to remind me of my position. Then,

41
sometimes, after I’m done practicing, I get lubed up and the dildo
goes inside my bottom to really remind me who is boss!”

Hands Off!
When I am in control, I regularly humiliate my husband by
enforcing a strict “hands off” policy. In other words, he is not to
touch me until I tell him he can. Here is how it usually works…
I remain fully clothed while he is mostly or completely
naked (sometimes it is no clothes at all, but more often than not I’ll
have him in panties or a diaper). I may sit on the couch while I
watch television or sip a glass of wine and he is to sit on his knees
beside the couch, on the floor. If I’m wearing a skirt it is
particularly fun to open my legs and give him a nice view between
them. Or, I may gradually strip down, eventually getting to just my
panties and t-shirt (I always leave some clothes on as I want him
to remember I am his superior). Sometimes he even has to
shower my feet with kisses, and other times he has to simply sit at
my beck and call, waiting on me to acknowledge him. I may go for
an hour or so before I finally address him. When I do, and when
he responds, he is of course to address me with respect as
“Ma’am.”
This may be a good time to mention titles. Try selecting a
title beforehand and make him learn it. Reinforce to him that he is
to address you by your selected title whenever you are in control. I
fully recommend having him write lines that reiterate this point (“I
will call my wife ma’am and treat her with respect,” etc.).
Of course, disobeying and touching without prior approval,
or failing to address his superior in the correct tone and by the
appropriate title, should result in immediate discipline. A quick
note, though: if they find spanking fun, they’ll purposely break the
rules just to bring about some corporal punishment. So, pick a
task or punishment that is unpleasant to them, such as chores,
lines, definitions, or whatever works for you. But if they are
blatantly disobeying, make sure the punishment is something that
will actually bring about positive change, rather than reinforcing
their bad behavior.
If you’re going to properly take charge, humiliation is a
must. As stated numerous times, it gives him the experience he

42
really wants and provides daring and exciting play for both of you.
But, it also reinforces the fact that you are in control and you are
calling the shots! Humiliation induces a mood of obedience and
submission and should most definably be used in the correction of
your man.

43
 Chapter Three: Caging, Teasing and Denial
While punishment and humiliation induce submission in a
man very well, nothing does the trick quite like controlling when
and how he cums. Men have such a strong desire to release and
if you can control when they do that then you’re golden. A high
ranking official in the Nixon administration, who largely
orchestrated the Watergate scandal, had a sign in his office that
read, “If you have the people by the balls, their hearts and minds
will follow,” or something to that effect. While that is a horrible
concept politically, it is a great concept when it comes to
controlling your man! Control him “down there.” Be the boss of if
he is allowed to be inside of you, masturbate, or even touch
himself in any way. If you make your husband go an extended
time without an orgasm, he will be putty in your hands and will
agree to your every whim and desire. Sexually, this can work out
very well in your favor!
I know some ladies who simply forbid their man to
masturbate. This is great in theory, and I suppose some of the
husbands comply. However, you obviously cannot be with him
every second of the day and if the urge gets too much he is bound
to give in. A quick trip to the bathroom can easily give him the
pleasure he needs if he is fast enough (and most of them are).
That’s why there are some tools that can easily be used to control
how often your naughty husband gets to climax.

Chastity

Much of what we have discussed is humiliating. But, to

exert the ultimate authority, you need to control his ejaculation!
Usually, verbal commands not to masturbate simply won’t do the
trick unless you have the most obedient of slaves (a lot of training
is probably necessary to reach that point, though). So, it is wise to
invest in a chastity device. These can easily be purchased on
Amazon, or other sites that specialize in sex toys, and fit
painlessly over the penis. He can still urinate, but the cage
unforgivingly keeps him from getting an erection. Trust me, it does
not hurt him, although personally I do not recommend extended

44
periods of time in the device (some people take their play to
extreme levels, i.e., a year “caged,” but to me, that’s not fun and
besides, long-term health risks come into play!). But a week or so
in the cage can easily be endured (perhaps not “easily” for him,
but that’s not your problem).
Many devices are steel, but I personally prefer the soft
rubber kind. This is simply my opinion here, as much of this book
is, but the steel is esthetically unattractive to me as it looks painful
(even though I’m told it is not). For whatever reason, the rubber
one we use appeals to me, but to each her own. For an extra
dose of humiliation, the one I favor is pink and it looks so cute
around his cock that I just can’t help but tease him relentlessly.
And believe me, teasing is a big part of it, but more on that in a
moment.
Here is how denial works for us: I have the key to his
freedom, literally, and he has to earn it by obeying me. If he wants
a few minutes out of the cage, then the house better look good!
His chores need to be completed to my specification, as well as
any other work I have assigned, whether it is sentences,
definitions, or home repairs. But, even more importantly, my
sexual needs have to be met! That means every night I need to be
pleasured with my desires catered to without regard to what he
will get in return. If he wants “free time” on Saturday night, then
perhaps he needs to eat my pussy on Monday. If he wants a few
minutes to wank over the weekend, then Tuesday and
Wednesday he needs to be pleasuring my clit in order for that to
happen. Whatever I choose is what he has to do! Ladies, use this
to your advantage! You may be surprised how devoted to your
pleasure he becomes as he knows he has to take care of you in
order to feel the release he so desperately craves.
And, as an added yet cruel bonus, the poor fellow will be
driven crazy as he does all of this to you but cannot even
experience an erection! He has to feel you, smell you, and taste
you, all the while being denied even the pleasure of physical
arousal. Yes, it sounds unfair and maybe even a bit mean, but if
your man fantasizes about you exerting complete control, then
this will be right up his alley.

45
 Remember, you hold the key so make him work for it! If he
fails or is particularly naughty one week, then there should be no
release for him. This will really do the trick in keeping him in line.
Some men enjoy being spanked (but again, spanking can and
should be done in a way that they don’t like), but being denied
sensual pleasure is truly a punishment! If you want to administer
some serious discipline then you need to be in the practice of
controlling his orgasms.

Isabella
“I keep his little cock caged quite a bit. Several days a
week, upon my return home from work, I lift my skirt up, take my
panties off, and sit on the couch while he kneels before me and
licks my pussy to my satisfaction. Or, some nights I might bend
over the bed looking forward while he eats me from behind. Either
way, it feels amazing. The best part is knowing I don’t have to give
him anything in return. I like to please him, sometimes, but there
are times I just don’t want to be penetrated or take the time to give
him a hand job. When he’s caged it’s not an issue and I don’t feel
like I have to give it up to him whenever the urge hits him. Some
days I’m not in the mood to even be pleasured, but it still works
out to my advantage; he cooks, cleans, and takes care of
whatever I tell him to take care of.
The downside is some nights he tosses and turns because
he’s so wound up! If it annoys me too much, he’s sent to sleep in
the guest bedroom. While that’s a negative, the positive is he’s
putty in my hands. He likes it! The chastity fantasy is one he had
although now he may regret telling me. Be careful what you wish
for, boys!”

Clint
“It took me a while to confess my chastity fantasy. It took
my wife a while to get into it even after I did. But now…wow! I am
regularly put in my cage and she seems to really get off on it. Her
attitude has totally changed when I’m in chastity and she has
grown into her role. I know I kind of bugged her for sex a lot. Now,
I think she doesn’t have to feel bad for saying “no” and has turned
it into a game. It drives me crazy, but man, it can be torture!

46
 She teases me a lot whenever I’m caged. She’ll constantly
make reference to it, or have me watch while she touches herself
but I can do nothing about it, or she’ll touch me in different ways
and laugh since I can’t even get hard.”

A particularly fun game I like to play is using our Magic

Wand on my husband while he’s caged. If you don’t have a Magic
Wand (and ladies, seriously, you should!), one can easily be
ordered on Amazon. When placed on your clit it can deliver an
intense and explosive orgasm, making quick work of that sensitive
nub and reducing you to shudders. It can also feel very good on a
man’s scrotum, causing him to writhe and squirm at the sensation.
It is quite torturous to use the device on him when he is caged and
cannot get hard. If done properly, it can relieve some of his
tension by making his little cock drip cum, but ultimately denies
him the pleasure of a proper orgasm. Which brings us to our next
technique…

Ruined Orgasms

Oh this one is so mean, but oh so necessary! To truly teach

your husband a lesson, ruin his orgasm. This is extremely
effective as punishment or just to remind him who is boss. It works
particularly well after periods of chastity. You can either make his
cock dribble small amounts of cum while caged, or you can give
him some freedom. Just when he thinks he is going to finally cum,
his moment is ruined in the ultimate show of authority when you
deny him the full pleasure.
When ruining an orgasm I frequently give my man a hand
job. Just before he arrives I remove my hand, causing him to still
ejaculate but not feel the full sensation. Bonus points if you laugh
and tease him while his little thing shoots its load everywhere. Be
sure and point out that his moment was ruined and explain that
maybe next time he can be a better boy to earn a full release. Of
course, this works wonders if he is immediately caged after the
experience. The fact that you dominated him so thoroughly will
turn him on, but to his torment he won’t be able to do anything
about it as he’s again caged and out of control.

47
 Remember, a big part of ruined orgasms is taunting! Keep
talking, laughing, and remind him of the pleasure he is being
denied!

Edging

Another powerful tool in your dominatrix arsenal is the

practice of edging. Simply put, edging is bringing your husband to
the brink of climax but stopping before he actually completes the
act. It differs from outright ruining his orgasm as you stop before
he even has a chance to shoot a load. In other words, you won’t
take the hand job, or whatever method you choose to use, as far.
So, you may let him out of his cage for a minute each day while
you jack him off. You get him very close but then back off, maybe
repeating the process several times. Of course, to his frustration,
the cage goes back on before the act is completed. This is
torturous and leaves his little cock feeling so full with no way to
release, adding to his torment. A powerful method may be to edge
for days, then finally allow him to cum at the end of the week, only
to have the moment ruined by your withdraw. Again, be sure and
add a healthy dose of taunting! Remind him of his situation and let
him know it is amusing to you. It may be hard to do at first, as that
is not your nature, but in time, as you see how crazy it drives him
and how it truly fulfills his fantasy, you may come to enjoy the
power you hold!

Clint
“My wife takes my cage off sometimes and plays with me. I
crave the attention and I love feeling her touch after being denied
so long. But sometimes she laughs while she’s doing it and ‘baby
talks,’ saying things like, ‘I know you want to cum so bad, sweetie,
but tonight you just can’t.’ Or, she’ll tell me I haven’t been a good
enough boy and that I’ve brought it all on myself and that she
doesn’t know when I’ll ever cum. I try to focus on releasing while
she’s touching me, but as if she can read my mind and body, she
always stops just shy of that magical moment and the cage goes
back on. I hate it but man it turns me on so bad!”

48
 Teasing, denial, edging, and chastity are musts if you’re
going to exert ultimate control. Taking away a man’s power to
ejaculate, or control when he does, is a way to exercise utter
dominance. Extended periods of this, a week or so, can be a
powerful tool simply to remind him you are in control. It is also an
effective means of discipline that is sure to keep him in line and
limit farther infractions.

49
 Chapter Four: Spanking!
As noted earlier, most men who dream of a dominant
female are excited by the act of spanking. In the early stages of
such a relationship, some will purposely break the rules in order to
be spanked. So, what is meant as punishment is more of a reward
and encourages additional naughty behavior. The remedy for this:
make him sorry for what he wished for!
We’ve discussed how the Female Led Relationship is
fantasy and not observed 24/7. However, there are times when
lines are blurred and your husband truly wants to be disciplined
for errant behavior. I know it may be hard to understand, but the
desire within them to be corrected can be very strong. So, you
must move beyond playful smacks on the bum to delivering actual
punishment spankings. This may take time and practice, but in the
end is worth it as it brings about positive change in your man and
gives him the actual experience he fantasizes about.
When you spank, if it is for correction, be sure and spank
hard! There’s a saying popular within the community that goes
something like, “A true spanking begins long after the recipient
wants it to end.” In other words, at first it may be fun and games.
However, keep it going until it is really reddening his bottom! Keep
delivering the discipline even while he squirms, begs, and cries.
He has to feel it! Let him know, through the severity of the
punishment and through your words, that you are not playing
around and his discipline is not a joke. Here are some true stories
that illustrate the principle of effective corporal punishment.

Rob
“The worst spanking I ever got was on vacation one year.
We had rented a beach house with her family on the Gulf of
Mexico, and her parents, her sister and her family, and even a
cousin was there. I had a smart mouth and made some comments
to my mother-in-law that my wife did not like at all. Long story
short, my wife approached me on the beach, while I was in the
middle of a volley ball game, and sternly told me she needed to
see me inside. I was embarrassed because her tone let everyone
know I was in serious trouble even though she didn’t come right

50
and say she was going to spank me. I went inside, to the third
floor room where we were staying, and thought she was just going
to lecture me. Boy was I wrong! She had me take my shorts and
underwear off, bend over the bed, while she used my heavy belt
on my bottom. It hurt more than anything I’d ever felt and I know it
was loud. Everyone was outside, but I was so worried someone
would wander into the house and hear what was going on. Maybe
they did and I just never found out.
She wouldn’t stop! I don’t know how long the spanking
lasted but it sure seemed like it went on forever. Finally it was
over, but she lectured me some more before sending me to the
corner. I was so embarrassed when I finally went back outside, so
worried that people knew. No one ever said anything, but you
better believe I changed my tone and attitude from that point
forward! At the time it was humiliating, but looking back on it I get
really turned on, remembering just how in control she was. I’ve
received spankings since then, but nothing like that one.”

James
“One time we were at the mall and I admittedly had a bad
attitude. We were in one store and I got pretty bad and was
shocked when she popped me on the butt hard out in the open! It
kind of made me mad so I got worse. To my surprise she loudly
used ‘the voice’ that I only hear when I’m in trouble, telling me to
go to the family restroom. I went, thinking she’d chicken out, but
she didn’t. Inside, with the door locked, she gave me a hard and
long spanking on the bare with her hand as I leaned over the sink.
She didn’t just smack me a few times, either. She laid it on thick!
That was the first time I was ever spanked in a public place and
disciplined like I’m a kid or something. It did make a believer out of
me! Now, when she threatens, I know she means business and
usually shape up immediately.”

James’ and Rob’s stories bring up a great point: public

discipline can be very effective, “hurting” worse than the actual
physical aspect of the punishment. I am not saying you have to
drop their pants in front of others and “out” yourself as a dominant
wife. But, pulling them aside even when away from home and

51
correcting them is sometimes necessary. Of course you’ll have
more time at home to administer a proper spanking. Behind
closed doors, many men receive corporal punishment from strict
wives and feel they are all the better for it.

Clint
“The first time my wife spanked me was on our
honeymoon. We had talked before our wedding and I had
confided in her the fantasies I’d had for years about being under a
strong, stern, and loving wife. Before we even made love, we
consummated the relationship with a hard spanking. I went across
her lap and she used her hand on my butt, giving me a long and
powerful thrashing. It was so loving and intimate in a way that is
hard to explain. She held me while I cried afterward and then the
sex was awesome! The next night, after a fun day of sightseeing,
she used a heavy brush. It was hard to take, at first, because I
had been good all day. But, I knew she had to exert her authority
from the beginning, so I submitted to her. The third night brought a
paddle, which stung worse than I had ever fantasized about! But,
right way, in the hotel room, she set the tone for our relationship
and we’ve never looked back. It may not be right for everyone, but
it works for us and I love her more each day!”

Isabella
“I am not afraid to paddle my man’s behind black and blue!
I know, big shock, right? It really does help me work out some of
my frustrations with him. I know a lot of wives who stew about
things and treat their husbands like garbage, immaturely refusing
to tell them what is wrong but still holding it over their heads. I do
not operate that way! If I feel he has stepped out of line, I give a
spanking and then we move on. My favorite tool is by far the
paddle. We have one that is wooden, has holes drilled in it, and
adjusts his attitude like nothing else I’ve seen! I love how it looks
when it flattens his bottom. I also love the reaction I get! He jumps
around, shifts on his feet, and squirms when I give the spanking
but that’s all part of it. If it didn’t hurt it wouldn’t be effective!
Sometimes I do spank him even when he’s been a good boy. He
needs that routine and structure to stay on his best behavior. I

52
need the experience to relieve stress. So, he rarely goes longer
than a week between sessions. Saturday night is usually spanking
night, but of course I’ll dish them out during the week on an as
needed basis. It really works for us.”

Since spanking can be an erotic experience, sometimes I

derail that aspect before administering the punishment. If I’m truly
correcting my husband, I’ll have him masturbate before the
discipline session so he is not aroused during the spanking. He
claims it makes the sting of the spanking more intense, too, after
he has cum. Sometimes I let him actually finish the act, and
sometimes I’ll ruin his orgasm so he does not receive the
pleasure, since he’s in trouble. Either way, though, there are times
the sexual aspect is completely removed which makes for a more
intense and effective punishment.
As I noted in my previous work, lecturing is an important
part of corporal punishment! Let your husband know exactly why
he is being disciplined. Keep the lecture up during the spanking.
Sometimes I like to have my husband count out each stroke, while
I talk to him in between licks, reminding him of why he is in that
situation.
When you begin your experiment with spanking, you may
feel silly. Both of you may even laugh. These early times, for us
anyway, were during sex and I was always just using my hand.
However, as we both gained more confidence, with much practice
under our belts, I became much better at administering spankings.
Now, there’s nothing funny about them and I make sure the
spanking properly stings his naughty tail! I also now only use my
hand for warm up spankings, or when we are away from home
and it is all I have, but rely on more effective instruments for his
main discipline. In other words, even if it is just fantasy, I don’t play
around! When I spank I really make it a true discipline session.
This allows my husband to move on from mistakes he has made
and brings about a sense of closure. Spanking is an intimate act
and has brought my husband and I must closer, deepening our
relationship and trust in one another. It is just one more bond that
we share together.

53
 Speaking of intimacy, your husband may cry during his
punishment. That is a good thing! Do not stop as it is a release he
may truly need. Men have such a hard time showing their
emotions (or, some men do, I should say), that sometimes they
need an outlet and a release. Spanking may provide that. So,
know in advance it may be very emotional. Hold him and console
him afterward to reassure him, but don’t be afraid to let him cry!
You may be surprised at how much closer the two of you grow as
a result.

54
 Chapter Five: Useful Tools
Below I’ve compiled a list of useful tools that I rely upon.
You may find they do not work for you. Remember to be creative!
Find what is best for your situation! But, here are some items I use
frequently and highly recommend.

Panties
Remember, a good set of punishment panties is a must! I
recommend lacey, frilly ones that are extra feminine. Silk is great!
Or, “ruffle butt” panties are even better! Daisy Corsets brand
makes a great pair with ruffles that even have a cute little bow on
them. They’re sure to sufficiently humiliate him! “Daisy Corsets
Women’s Mesh Ruffle Shorts with Bow” are sold on Amazon and
go for a great price and I highly recommend them! They come in a
variety of colors, too.
When it comes to humiliation, panties are a great way to
start! Be sure and have a pair or two in his size. Tip: for added
humiliation, throw in the occasional panty liner!

Diapers
Once you’re more comfortable humiliating him with panties,
step up your game with diapers! Nothing is cuter than hearing the
crinkle sound as he waddles through the house in a thick nappy.
Most chain retail stores such as Target and Wal-Mart carry
diapers, along with drugstores such as CVS and Walgreens. This
can be good in a pinch, or if you want the “diaper panties” made to
look like real underwear. Depends and Always both have a brand
and they’re sure to sufficiently humiliate your man as it combines
the best of both worlds! They are also discreet enough to be worn
in public under his pants. I cannot recommend them enough! If
you’re embarrassed about purchasing them at the store, Amazon
sells them for a great price, so this may be a better purchasing
option.
But, diaper panties and major retail brand diapers are thin,
so if you’re planning on having him use his diaper I recommend
heavier brands that can easily be purchased online. If he has to
go at all, he’ll pee straight through those store bought numbers.

55
Molicare Super Plus is a great, thick diaper that really delivers! It
can be purchased on Amazon and is Prime eligible (if you aren’t a
Prime member, sign up!). Northshore Supreme Briefs are also
fabulous and can be purchased on Amazon as well (Prime, too,
so bonus!).

Male Chastity Devices

[Link] is an online retailer that specializes in
chastity devices. I have not had nearly the interaction with them
as I’ve had with Amazon, but they have a wide variety of products
as well as some great information about chastity. This is a good
place to start!

Magic Wand
The Magic Wand is a “massager,” (sure it is) and works
wonders! Yes, it’s fun to tease your man with it when he’s caged.
But, it will also bring you screaming orgasm upon screaming
orgasm! It has a low and high setting, and when directly on your
clit, the high might actually be too much, depending on your
sensitivity levels. But make no mistake; this toy made by Vibratex
is absolutely amazing! It is sold on Amazon and I highly
recommend it. Money well spent and you’ll both get a benefit from
it!

Wooden Spoon
A good wooden spoon is indispensable! Don’t go cheap
and use a flimsy one that can easily snap in two! Amazon sells a
set made by OXO called the “Good Grip Wooden Spoon” set.
They are durable, heavy, and sting my husband’s bottom
appropriately. They are cheap, under $13, and can be used again
and again.

Paddle
I highly recommend the PaddleDaddy Unbreakable
Spanking Paddle with Holes! It is made of Polycarbonate plastic
instead of wood, but believe me, it delivers a wallop! It is close to
$50, but they are darn near indestructible so you get your money’s
worth. Amazon sells this item. It will do the trick on any naughty

56
bottom! If you want an old fashioned wooden number, Amazon
also features the Hickory Spanking Paddle with Holes Handmade
by Walt.
Most online sex toy shops, and physical locations, sell “kink
kits” that feature small paddles. I do not recommend these for true
spankings! They are lightweight, ineffective, and geared more for
the “let’s try something new tonight” crowd. That is not to say that
they aren’t fun. In fact, they may be a good way to “break the
spanking ice” so to speak as you both get used to the idea and
practice. So, perhaps you could start off with this as you ease into
the lifestyle. But, long term, for actual discipline, they’re not
preferred.

Whatever you choose to do, and whichever tools you

choose to use, I hope you have fun! I hope you make your
husband’s dreams come true. I also hope you gain even more
confidence in your role as a dominant wife. You have it in you! It
takes practice and patience, but in the end, the payoff is great!
Enjoy!

© 2015 Paddington House Press-All Rights Reserved

Look for Rebecca’s Exciting Fiction only for Kindle!

57