space exploration is too expensive and money should spent on more important

things. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Space exploration has always captured human imagination, yet the substantial financial
investment required raises questions about its practicality. I agree that the enormous funds
allocated to space missions could be better spent on addressing more pressing issues on
Earth.

Firstly, the costs of space exploration are staggering. Developing spacecraft, launching
missions, and maintaining space programs demand billions of dollars. While these
endeavors advance scientific knowledge and technological innovation, their immediate
impact on improving everyday life is often minimal. In contrast, directing these funds towards
healthcare, education, and poverty alleviation can yield direct and significant benefits. For
instance, investing in healthcare can enhance disease prevention and treatment, ultimately
saving lives and improving public health.

Furthermore, Earth faces numerous urgent challenges that require immediate attention.
Climate change, for example, poses a severe threat to ecosystems and human livelihoods.
Redirecting funds from space exploration to environmental protection can help mitigate the
impacts of climate change and preserve natural resources for future generations.
Additionally, social issues such as hunger and inequality demand substantial financial
support. Investing in sustainable agriculture, education, and economic development can
empower communities and foster a more equitable [Link] prioritizing the allocation of
funds to areas with immediate and tangible benefits, we can create a more just and
sustainable world for all.

In conclusion, while space exploration contributes to scientific progress and innovation, the
financial resources required for these endeavors are better utilized in addressing critical
issues on our planet. The advantages of reallocating these funds to urgent and impactful
areas far outweigh the benefits of continued space exploration, making it a more prudent
choice for the overall well-being of humanity.

Nâng cấp lập luận

Introduction: Space exploration has always captured human imagination, yet the
substantial financial investment required raises questions about its practicality. I agree that
the enormous funds allocated to space missions could be better spent on addressing more
pressing issues on Earth.

Feedback for Introduction:

Clear Position: The introduction effectively states a clear position by agreeing that the funds
allocated to space missions could be better spent on addressing more pressing issues on
Earth. This sets a strong foundation for the argument that will follow.

Relevance: The introduction is relevant to the essay question as it directly addresses the
debate about the allocation of funds for space exploration versus addressing more pressing
issues on Earth. It aligns well with the prompt, ensuring that the reader understands the
focus of the essay.

Brief Overview: The introduction could be improved by providing a brief overview of the
main points that will be discussed in the essay. For example, mentioning specific examples
of pressing issues on Earth that could benefit from the funds currently allocated to space
exploration would give the reader a clearer idea of what to expect in the essay. This would
enhance the introduction's effectiveness in guiding the reader through the argument.

Improved Introduction: Space exploration has long fascinated humanity, but the significant
financial investment required raises questions about its practicality. I firmly believe that the
substantial funds allocated to space missions could be more effectively utilized in addressing
pressing issues on Earth. This essay will argue that redirecting these funds towards
healthcare, education, and environmental protection would yield more tangible and
immediate benefits for humanity, making it a more prudent allocation of resources.

Main Point 1: Firstly, the costs of space exploration are staggering. Developing spacecraft,
launching missions, and maintaining space programs demand billions of dollars. While these
endeavors advance scientific knowledge and technological innovation, their immediate
impact on improving everyday life is often minimal. In contrast, directing these funds towards
healthcare, education, and poverty alleviation can yield direct and significant benefits. For
instance, investing in healthcare can enhance disease prevention and treatment, ultimately
saving lives and improving public health.

Feedback for Main Point 1:

Argumentative Logic: The argument effectively contrasts the high costs of space
exploration with the potential benefits of allocating funds to more pressing issues on Earth.
The logical flow from the financial burden of space exploration to the potential benefits of
redirecting funds to healthcare and education is clear and well-structured.

Overgeneralizations: The statement that the impact of space exploration on improving

everyday life is often minimal might be seen as an overgeneralization. While it's true that the
immediate benefits of space exploration might not be directly visible, the long-term
technological advancements and scientific discoveries can have significant impacts on
various aspects of life, including healthcare and technology.

Relevance and Effectiveness of Supporting Ideas: The supporting ideas are relevant and
effectively illustrate the argument. The example of investing in healthcare to enhance
disease prevention and treatment is a strong and tangible example of how funds could be
better utilized. However, the argument could be strengthened by acknowledging the potential
long-term benefits of space exploration, such as technological spin-offs that could also
benefit healthcare and other fields.

Unclear or Ambiguous Expressions: The expressions used are clear and effectively
communicate the argument. However, the term "immediate impact" could be clarified to
specify whether it refers to short-term or long-term impacts.

Unwarranted Assumptions: The argument assumes that the funds allocated to space
exploration could be directly and fully redirected to healthcare and education without
considering the potential for synergies or the long-term benefits of space exploration. This
assumption could be softened to acknowledge that some funds might be better spent on
both space exploration and other areas.

Overly Assertive Language: The language used is appropriately assertive for the argument
being made. However, introducing qualifiers like "often" or "can" when discussing the impact
of space exploration would provide a more balanced perspective.

Overall Evaluation: Well Extended and Supported

Suggestions for Improvement:

Acknowledge Long-Term Benefits of Space Exploration: While focusing on the
immediate benefits of redirecting funds, it would be beneficial to briefly acknowledge the
potential long-term benefits of space exploration, such as technological advancements that
could indirectly benefit healthcare and other fields.

Clarify the Scope of Funding: Specify whether the argument is advocating for a complete
reallocation of funds or a balanced approach that includes both space exploration and other
areas. This would provide a more nuanced view of the issue.

Introduce a Balanced Perspective: Discuss the potential for synergies between space
exploration and other areas, such as the development of new technologies that could benefit
healthcare and education. This would provide a more comprehensive analysis of the issue.

Improved Main Point 1: The costs of space exploration are substantial, with billions of
dollars required for spacecraft development, mission launches, and

Task Response
Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:

Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating a
position that aligns with the question's directive. The author agrees that the money spent on
space exploration could be better allocated to more pressing issues on Earth. Each part of
the question is addressed, particularly the emphasis on the financial implications of space
exploration and the suggestion of alternative areas for investment, such as healthcare and
climate change. The essay does well to outline the argument against space exploration while
providing relevant examples.

How to improve: To enhance the response, the author could explicitly discuss the extent of
their agreement or disagreement. For instance, they could acknowledge any potential
benefits of space exploration that might justify its costs, thereby providing a more nuanced
view. Including a brief counter-argument could strengthen the overall argument and
demonstrate critical thinking.

Present a Clear Position Throughout:

Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently arguing
that funds should be redirected from space exploration to more immediate concerns. The
opening statement clearly states the author's stance, and this is reinforced in the conclusion.
The logical flow of ideas supports this position, making it easy for the reader to follow the
author's reasoning.

How to improve: To further solidify the clarity of the position, the author could use
transitional phrases that explicitly link back to the main argument. For example, reiterating
the main point at the beginning of each paragraph could help remind the reader of the
stance being taken, ensuring that the position remains front and center throughout the
essay.

Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

Detailed explanation: The essay presents several well-developed ideas, such as the
financial costs of space exploration and the benefits of reallocating those funds. Each point
is supported with relevant examples, such as the impact of investing in healthcare and
climate change. The author successfully extends their ideas by discussing the broader
implications of funding decisions on society.

How to improve: While the ideas are well-supported, the essay could benefit from more
diverse examples or data to strengthen the argument. Incorporating statistics or expert
opinions on the benefits of investing in Earth-centric issues versus space exploration could
provide a more compelling case. Additionally, exploring the potential long-term benefits of
space exploration could add depth to the discussion.

Stay on Topic:

Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, consistently
addressing the financial implications of space exploration and the need for investment in
more pressing issues. There are no significant deviations from the topic, and all points made
are relevant to the central argument.

How to improve: To ensure continued focus, the author should be cautious of introducing
any tangential ideas that could distract from the main argument. A clear outline before
writing could help maintain focus and ensure that each paragraph directly contributes to
answering the prompt. Additionally, summarizing key points in the conclusion can reinforce
the topic's relevance and the author's position.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-
structured argument. With minor adjustments to address the extent of agreement, enhance
the diversity of examples, and reinforce the position throughout, the essay could achieve an
even higher band score.

Coherence & Cohesion

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:

Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical progression of ideas. The
introduction effectively sets the stage for the argument, stating the author's position
succinctly. Each paragraph follows a coherent structure, beginning with a topic sentence that
outlines the main point, followed by supporting details and examples. For instance, the first
body paragraph discusses the costs associated with space exploration and contrasts them
with potential benefits of investing in Earth-related issues. This logical flow enhances the
reader's understanding of the argument.

How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, consider using more explicit
linking phrases between paragraphs. For example, at the beginning of the second body
paragraph, a phrase like "In addition to financial considerations, there are pressing global
challenges that also warrant attention" could strengthen the transition and reinforce the
connection between the ideas.

Use Paragraphs:

Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs, with each one focusing on
a specific aspect of the argument. The clear separation of ideas into distinct paragraphs aids
readability and comprehension. The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, framing
the argument appropriately. However, the second body paragraph could be split into two
separate paragraphs to emphasize the distinct issues of climate change and social
inequality, allowing for deeper exploration of each topic.

How to improve: Consider breaking the second body paragraph into two separate
paragraphs: one focused on climate change and the other on social issues. This would allow
for a more detailed discussion of each point, providing the opportunity to elaborate on
specific examples and enhancing the overall depth of the argument.

Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as
"Firstly," "Furthermore," and "In conclusion," which guide the reader through the argument.
The use of these devices contributes to the overall coherence of the essay. However, there
is a tendency to rely on a limited range of cohesive devices, which can make the writing feel
somewhat repetitive.

How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of
linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "Firstly" and
"Furthermore," consider alternatives like "To begin with," "Moreover," or "Additionally."
Additionally, using phrases that indicate contrast, such as "On the other hand," could
enhance the discussion when addressing counterarguments or alternative perspectives.

Overall, the essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, with a clear logical
structure and effective use of paragraphs. By implementing the suggested improvements,
particularly in the areas of transitions between paragraphs and the diversity of cohesive
devices, the essay could achieve an even higher level of clarity and engagement.

Lexical Resource
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary,

effectively conveying complex ideas related to space exploration and its financial
implications. Terms such as "substantial financial investment," "pressing issues," "staggering
costs," and "mitigate the impacts" showcase the writer's ability to utilize varied and
sophisticated vocabulary. The use of phrases like "scientific progress and innovation" and
"urgent challenges" further illustrates the writer's lexical diversity.

How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary even further, the writer could
incorporate more synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeating
"funds" and "financial resources," alternatives such as "capital," "investment," or "monetary
resources" could be employed. Additionally, introducing more technical or field-specific
terms related to space exploration and social issues could enrich the vocabulary even more.

Use Vocabulary Precisely:

Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with a high degree of
precision. Phrases like "enormous funds allocated" and "immediate impact on improving
everyday life" are clear and effectively communicate the intended meaning. However, there
are instances where the vocabulary could be more precise. For example, the phrase
"substantial financial investment" could be more specific by quantifying the investment or
providing examples of specific missions or technologies.
How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should aim to provide more context or
specificity where possible. For instance, instead of saying "the costs of space exploration are
staggering," the writer could specify what these costs entail (e.g., "the costs of developing
and launching spacecraft often exceed billions of dollars"). This would not only clarify the
argument but also enhance the overall impact of the essay.

Use Correct Spelling:

Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no
noticeable errors throughout the text. Words such as "imagination," "practicality,"
"healthcare," and "inequality" are spelled correctly, reflecting the writer's strong command of
English spelling conventions.

How to improve: While spelling is already strong, the writer should continue to practice and
review commonly misspelled words, especially those related to academic vocabulary.
Engaging in regular reading and writing exercises can help reinforce correct spelling habits.
Additionally, using tools like spell checkers or proofreading can further ensure accuracy in
future essays.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource with a wide
range of vocabulary, precise usage, and correct spelling. To achieve an even higher band
score, the writer should focus on expanding vocabulary variety, enhancing precision with
more specific language, and maintaining spelling accuracy through continued practice.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:

Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence

structures, effectively employing both simple and complex sentences. For instance, the
opening sentence utilizes a complex structure: "Space exploration has always captured
human imagination, yet the substantial financial investment required raises questions about
its practicality." This sentence not only introduces the topic but also presents a contrasting
idea, showcasing the writer's ability to connect thoughts logically. Additionally, the use of
conditional phrases, such as "While these endeavors advance scientific knowledge and
technological innovation," further illustrates the writer's skill in creating nuanced arguments.
However, there are moments where the sentence variety could be enhanced, particularly in
the use of more varied introductory phrases and clauses to avoid repetitive patterns.

How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, the writer could incorporate more
varied introductory phrases, such as "In light of," "Given that," or "Considering the fact that,"
to begin sentences. Additionally, experimenting with different sentence lengths and types—
such as rhetorical questions or exclamatory sentences—could add dynamism to the writing.
For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "Firstly," "Furthermore," and "In
conclusion," the writer could vary these transitions to maintain reader engagement.

Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates a high level of grammatical

accuracy. Most sentences are well-structured, and the use of punctuation is largely correct,
aiding in the clarity of the arguments presented. For example, the use of commas in complex
sentences is appropriate, as seen in "While these endeavors advance scientific knowledge
and technological innovation, their immediate impact on improving everyday life is often
minimal." However, there is a notable punctuation error in the phrase "[Link]
prioritizing," where a space is missing after the period, leading to a minor grammatical
oversight. Additionally, the phrase "money should spent on more important things" in the
prompt should be corrected to "money should be spent," indicating a need for careful
proofreading.

How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should engage in thorough
proofreading to catch minor errors, such as spacing issues and verb forms. Practicing the
correct use of auxiliary verbs, especially in common phrases, will also help prevent such
mistakes. Furthermore, reviewing punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of
commas in complex sentences, can solidify the writer's command of grammar and
punctuation.

Overall, the essay reflects a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a
band score of 8. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical
precision, the writer can further enhance their writing quality.

Bài chữa tham khảo

Space exploration has long fascinated human imagination; however, the substantial financial
investment necessitated raises questions about its practicality. I agree that the enormous
funds allocated to space missions could be more effectively spent on addressing more
pressing issues on Earth.

Firstly, the costs associated with space exploration are staggering. Developing spacecraft,
launching missions, and maintaining space programs demand billions of dollars. While these
endeavors advance scientific knowledge and technological innovation, their immediate
impact on improving everyday life is often limited. In contrast, redirecting these funds
towards healthcare, education, and poverty alleviation can yield direct and significant
benefits. For instance, investing in healthcare can significantly enhance disease prevention
and treatment, ultimately saving lives and improving public health.

Furthermore, Earth faces numerous urgent challenges that require immediate attention.
Climate change, for example, poses a severe threat to ecosystems and human livelihoods.
Redirecting funds from space exploration towards environmental protection can help mitigate
the effects of climate change and preserve natural resources for future generations.
Additionally, social issues such as hunger and inequality demand substantial financial
support. Investing in sustainable agriculture, education, and economic development can
empower communities and promote a more equitable society. By prioritizing the allocation of
funds to areas with immediate and tangible benefits, we can contribute to a more just and
sustainable world for all.

In conclusion, while space exploration contributes to scientific progress and innovation, the
financial resources required for these endeavors are better utilized in addressing critical
issues on our planet. The advantages of reallocating these funds to urgent and impactful
areas far outweigh the benefits of continued space exploration, making it a more prudent
choice for the overall well-being of humanity.
Từ vựng tham khảo
Word Meaning and Example

expenditure (Chi tiêu) The amount of money spent on a

particular purpose. Example: The
government's _______ on space
exploration has sparked debate about its
necessity.

allocate (Phân bổ) To distribute resources or duties

for a specific purpose. Example: It is
essential to _______ funds to education
before considering space missions.

prioritize (Ưu tiên) To arrange or deal with in order of

importance. Example: Society must
_______ basic needs over ambitious space
programs.

innovation (Đổi mới) The introduction of new ideas or

methods. Example: While _______ in
technology is vital, it shouldn't overshadow
critical social issues.

juxtapose (Đặt cạnh nhau) To place or deal with close

together for contrasting effect. Example:
This essay will _______ the benefits of
space exploration against social welfare
needs.

sustainability (Sự bền vững) The ability to be maintained

at a certain rate or level. Example: Investing
in _______ is crucial for future generations
rather than just space exploration.

justification (Sự biện minh) A reason, fact,

circumstance, or explanation that justifies
an action or decision. Example: There is
little _______ for spending such large sums
on space travel when there are pressing
terrestrial problems.
Word Meaning and Example

benefit (Lợi ích) An advantage or profit gained from

something. Example: The potential
_______ of space exploration must be
weighed against immediate human
concerns.

imperative (Cấp thiết) Of vital importance; crucial.

Example: It is _______ that we address
poverty and health care before venturing
further into the cosmos.

contemplation (Sự suy ngẫm) The act of considering

something deeply and thoughtfully.
Example: Serious _______ of resource
allocation is necessary in this debate about
space exploration funding.