GRADE 8

2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

SCORING SAMPLER
 Copyright Statement for This Office of Assessment Publication

Authorization for reproduction of this document is hereby granted to persons acting in an

official capacity within the Uniform System of Public K–12 Schools as defined in Section
1000.01(4), Florida Statutes. This copyright notice must be included in all copies.

This document contains copyrighted materials that remain the property of the respective
owners. In addition, all trademarks and trade names found in this publication are the
property of their respective owners and are not associated with the publisher of this
publication.

Permission is NOT granted for distribution or reproduction outside the Uniform System of
Public K–12 Schools or for commercial distribution of the copyrighted materials without
written authorization from the Florida Department of Education. Questions regarding use of
these copyrighted materials should be sent to the following:

Office of Assessment
Florida Department of Education
325 West Gaines Street, Suite 414
Tallahassee, Florida 32399‑04000
Copyright © 2022
State of Florida
Department of State
 Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4

ARGUMENTATIVE TEXT‑BASED B.E.S.T. WRITING RUBRIC. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13

SAMPLE STUDENT RESPONSES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15

Sample 1 (S‑1) Student Response Score Point 4/4/4. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16

Sample 2 (S‑2) Student Response Score Point 4/2/4. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
Sample 3 (S‑3) Student Response Score Point 3/3/3. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22
Sample 4 (S‑4) Student Response Score Point 3/3/3. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25
Sample 5 (S‑5) Student Response Score Point 3/3/3. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
Sample 6 (S‑6) Student Response Score Point 2/2/2. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29
Sample 7 (S‑7) Student Response Score Point 2/2/3. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
Sample 8 (S‑8) Student Response Score Point 2/2/2. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33
Sample 9 (S‑9) Student Response Score Point 1/1/2. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35
Sample 10 (S‑10) Student Response Score Point 1/1/1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
Sample 11 (S‑11) Student Response Score Point Copied . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39

Florida Department of Education 3

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

INTRODUCTION

The Florida Department of Education Test Development Center is publishing the

Benchmarks for Excellent Student Thinking (B.E.S.T.) Writing Scoring Sampler in an effort
to maintain transparency of the scoring process for the B.E.S.T. Writing assessments. This
sampler can be used as a resource for Florida educators, schools, and districts regarding
the scoring of student responses on the B.E.S.T. Writing assessments.

Each spring, students in grades 4–10 are administered a set of source texts and a writing
prompt based on those sources. Students respond to one of two possible modes—
expository or argumentative—and must draw on reading and writing skills while integrating
information from the source materials in order to develop and draft a typed, cohesive essay
response.

Each sampler contains sample student responses that illustrate the score points described
in the rubric of one of the two possible writing modes. As with all B.E.S.T. content, the
sample passage set and prompt were reviewed by a committee of Florida educators to
ensure appropriateness for the intended grade in terms of the text complexity, topic, and
wording.

In this sampler, examples of student responses represent some of the various combinations
of the score points across three scoring domains: Purpose and Structure, Development,
and Language. As a basis for developing a common understanding of the scoring criteria,
a bulleted annotation follows the response to explain the prominent characteristics of
the response described in the rubric. These responses are not meant to describe a
full spectrum of examples for each score point in each domain. Moreover, they do not
necessarily represent the highest or lowest example of each score point in each domain.

All responses are scored holistically; however, responses at any grade level that do not
include source citation cannot earn a score higher than 2 in the Development domain.

It should be noted that in addition to responses that receive the scores described in the
rubric for each domain, some responses earn a score of “0” due to certain conditions as
follows:

● The entire response is written in a language other than English.

● The response is illegible, incomprehensible, or includes an insufficient amount of
writing to be evaluated.
● The majority of the response is copied from the source material and/or prompt
language to the point that original writing is not recognizable or sufficient for scoring.

4 Florida Department of Education

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

A response must go through a minimum of three levels of review before any condition code
can be applied. Many responses formulate a claim/position or central idea by rewording
the prompt, and due to the expectation that evidence will be incorporated in the response,
some degree of exact wording from the sources is expected and allowable. However,
responses receiving a “0” for copied text are comprised of source material and/or prompt
language that dominates the response to the point that original writing is not recognizable
or sufficient.

Because a response that is left completely blank does not meet attemptedness criteria for
the B.E.S.T. Writing assessment, no Writing score can be earned or reported.

To access additional resources related to B.E.S.T. assessments, please visit

[Link]

The Benchmarks for Excellent Student Thinking (B.E.S.T.) describe what students should
know and be able to do at each grade level. For more information about the benchmarks,
please visit CPALMS at [Link]

Florida Department of Education 5

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

Writing Prompt
Write an argumentative essay about whether facial recognition technology is
beneficial or harmful.

Your argumentative essay must be based on this prompt and topic, and it must
incorporate ideas and evidence found in the sources provided.

Use your best writing to complete an essay that

● is focused on your position;

● combines evidence from multiple sources with your own elaboration to
develop your ideas;
● rebuts at least one counterclaim with reasoning;
● is organized and includes transitions within and among ideas;
● provides citations for quoted material and source ideas; and
● demonstrates correct use of grammar and language appropriate to the task.

Write your multiparagraph essay to an academic audience in the space provided.

6 Florida Department of Education

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

Facial Recognition

Source 1: Some Devices Recognize Your Face.

Is That a Good Thing?
by Kathryn Hulick

1 You pick up your phone and stare at it. Instantly, the screen unlocks. But it won’t
do that for anyone else. The phone knows who you are. It recognizes the shape of your
face.

2 Welcome to the world of the latest iPhone. It comes with a feature called Face ID.
Apple executive Phil Schiller described it this way at the product launch: “. . . your
iPhone is locked until you look at it and it recognizes you. Nothing has ever been more
simple, natural, and effortless.”

3 Your face isn’t the only characteristic you can use as a password. Many
smartphones already accept fingerprint logins. Other security systems check the shape
of the ear, patterns in the eye, or the way a person walks. All of these characteristics,
called biometrics, are unique enough to identify someone.

4 People like using biometrics for security because they’re easy. You can’t misplace
or forget your own face. They’re also usually very secure. It’s hard to fake another
person’s body parts. But it’s not impossible.

5 And the face may be one of the easiest body parts to copy. Most teens post plenty
of selfies. These could potentially help someone hack into a system like Face ID.

6 In 2016, researchers at the University of North Carolina gathered publicly available

Facebook photos. They used them to build 3D models of faces. Then they showed
these fake faces to five different facial recognition systems. Four out of the five let the
imposter in. (Face ID wasn’t part of the test.)

7 Once a biometric password has been stolen, you can’t easily change it. You can’t
get a new face!

8 There’s one more aspect of facial recognition that worries experts. It would be easy
for someone else to hold your phone in front of your face to unlock it. . . .

9 Some people probably won’t worry about all that. It’s just too cool to be able to
unlock a device at a glance.

Excerpt from “Some Devices Recognize Your Face. Is That a Good Thing?” by Kathryn Hulick. Copyright
© 2018 by Muse. Reprinted by permission of Muse via Copyright Clearance Center.

Florida Department of Education 7

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

Source 2: As facial‑recognition technology grows,

so does wariness about privacy.
by Rachel Lerman

10 As Mike Vance approaches the glass door that leads to RealNetworks’ engineering
office, he smiles slightly at a small camera mounted in front of him. Click. The
door unlocks, responding to a command from software powering the camera that
recognized Vance’s face and confirmed his identity.

11 Vance, a senior director of product management at the Seattle tech company,

leads the team that created Secure, Accurate Facial Recognition—or SAFR,
pronounced “safer.” . . .

12 It took three years, 8 million faces and more than 8 billion data points to develop
the technology, which can identify a face with near perfect accuracy. . . .

13 The introduction of the technology has thrust RealNetworks into the center of a
field that is growing quickly as software gets better at identifying faces. But growing
along with it are privacy concerns and rising calls for regulation—even from the
technology companies that are inventing the biometric software.

14 Facial‑recognition technology is already common, used in everything from photo

apps that sort pictures of people, to unlocking an iPhone, to law‑enforcement agencies
searching databases of driver’s license photos.

15 Facial recognition is used, broadly, in two ways, said Oren Etzioni, CEO of Seattle’s
Allen Institute for Artificial Intelligence, the sister organization to Paul Allen’s brain
science institute. One is consumer convenience, such as grouping photos, and the
other is for surveillance and tracking. . . .

16 But now, as RealNetworks’ SAFR shows, the technology has been moving further
into public spaces. And with that, privacy advocates wonder if people fully realize how
often their faces are being scanned, and advocates and the industry alike question
where the line is between the benefits to the public and the cost to privacy.

Learning a face

17 Facial‑recognition technology functions much like fingerprinting—each face has

its own unique signature, and companies teach machines to recognize and match
people’s unique features.

18 RealNetworks’ technology maps 1,600 data points on each face it sees. The team
has been “training” its machine for about two years, since the launch of RealTimes,
its free app that lets people build photo slideshows. Baked into the 3,300‑word user
agreement for that app is language that allows RealNetworks to use customer photos
to train its facial‑recognition system.

8 Florida Department of Education

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

19 SAFR doesn’t know the identity of people in the RealTimes photos, Vance said—
there are no names, addresses or other identifying information in the massive database
of 8 million faces. But what it can do is tell if two faces are the same person. It’s gotten
so accurate that it can tell identical twins apart and match family photos of the same
person even if they were taken decades apart. . . .

Between here and sci‑fi

20 In China, the technology is so common that it can identify people who are
jaywalking and display their photos on public digital billboards.

21 The U.S. isn’t near that level yet of routinely identifying people in public streets
or parks, said Clare Garvie, an associate at the Center on Privacy and Technology
at Georgetown Law Center, but she finds the lack of transparency into how the
technology is being used and the lack of federal laws troubling. . . .

22 But proper regulation could prevent that, and there’s reason to be optimistic,
Garvie said, pointing to Microsoft’s call for such laws.

Excerpt from “As facial‑recognition technology grows, so does wariness about privacy. Use at a school
in Seattle fuels debate” by Rachel Lerman. Copyright © 2018 by the Seattle Times. Reprinted by
permission of the Seattle Times via Copyright Clearance Center.

Source 3: Facebook wants to save your face.

Should you say yes to facial recognition?
by Jessica Guyenn

23 Of all the information Facebook collects about you, nothing is more personal than
your face.

24 With 2.2 billion users uploading hundreds of millions of photos a day, the giant
social network has developed one of the single‑largest databases of faces and—with
so many images to train its facial recognition software—one of the most accurate.

25 The question of whether you should let Facebook save your face is gaining in
urgency as it moves to expand its deployment of facial recognition, rolling it out in
Europe, where it was scrapped in 2012 over privacy concerns and scanning and
identifying more people in photos. . . .

26 Should people trust Facebook with one of their most sensitive data points which,
unlike a credit‑card number, can’t—or at least can’t easily—be changed?

Florida Department of Education 9

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

27 Distrust over how Facebook treats its customers’ personal data has jumped after
87 million users had their data pilfered1 by Cambridge Analytica. . . .

28 Most forms of tracking target the technology you use. Cookies on your computer.
Digital fingerprints your browser leaves behind. GPS on your smartphone. What makes
this technology different: It tracks the most identifiable part of your body.

29 “You can delete cookies. You can change browsers. And you can leave your
smartphone at home,” says facial recognition expert Alvaro Bedoya, executive director
of Georgetown Law’s Center on Privacy & Technology. “But you can’t delete your face,
and you can’t leave it at home.”

30 Facebook’s facial recognition technology analyzes photos and videos to create a

unique “template” to identify you. The technology is a shortcut that scans photos to
suggest names of friends to tag.

31 The company says it has no plans to make people’s facial recognition data
available to advertisers or outside developers. But the more Facebook can glean from
users’ photos about their interests, activities and social circles, the more precisely it
can target advertising.

32 Facebook says it has tight control over its database of people’s likenesses. Even
if someone were to obtain a “template,” it does not function like other face recognition
systems.

33 “When we provide our biometric information to Facebook, we don’t know where

that information is going,” Electronic Frontier Foundation senior attorney Jennifer Lynch
said. “Facebook says: ‘Trust us to keep it safe.’ But Facebook has shown time and
time again that it makes the wrong choices when it comes to protecting users’ data.”

34 Facial recognition, sometimes called faceprinting, is used by major technology

companies around the globe. Apple last year replaced its fingerprint reader with a
camera that uses your face to unlock the iPhone.

35 In December, Facebook expanded the scope of its technology with the

announcement that it would let users know when someone posts a photo of them,
even if they are not tagged in it. The technology informs you if someone uses a photo
of you in their profile picture to help detect impersonations. It also makes it possible for
the visually impaired to have screen readers tell them who’s tagged in friends’ photos.

36 What may seem harmless—allowing Facebook to create an impression of your

face—can be more telling than some people think. And soon it could reveal even more,
including the state of your health, privacy experts say. The technology is becoming so
sophisticated that Facebook can recognize people in photos and videos even if their
faces are obscured, picking up clues from posture and body shape.

1
pilfered: stolen

10 Florida Department of Education

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

37 “This technology is powerful in a way that our society isn’t really used to,”
Bedoya says.

Excerpt from “Facebook wants to save your face. Should you say yes to facial recognition?” by
Jessica Guyenn. Copyright © 2018 by USA Today. Reprinted by permission of USA Today via
Copyright Clearance Center.

Florida Department of Education 11

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

Writing Prompt
Write an argumentative essay about whether facial recognition technology is
beneficial or harmful.

Your argumentative essay must be based on this prompt and topic, and it must
incorporate ideas and evidence found in the sources provided.

Use your best writing to complete an essay that

● is focused on your position;

● combines evidence from multiple sources with your own elaboration to
develop your ideas;
● rebuts at least one counterclaim with reasoning;
● is organized and includes transitions within and among ideas;
● provides citations for quoted material and source ideas; and
● demonstrates correct use of grammar and language appropriate to the task.

Write your multiparagraph essay to an academic audience in the space provided.

12 Florida Department of Education

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

ARGUMENTATIVE TEXT‑BASED B.E.S.T. WRITING RUBRIC

Grades 7–10 Argumentative Rubric

Responses are scored holistically by domain and earn scores by
demonstrating most of the descriptors in a given score point.*
Score Point Purpose/Structure Development Language
4 ● Position** is focused on ● Skillful development ● Integration of academic
Above the task and consistently demonstrates thorough vocabulary strengthens and
grade‑level maintained throughout. understanding of the topic. furthers ideas.
accomplishment ● Organizational structure ● Effective elaboration may ● Skillful use of varied
demonstrated. strengthens the response include original student sentence structure
and allows for the writing combined with contributes to fluidity of
advancement of the (but may not be limited to) ideas.
argument. paraphrasing, text evidence, ● Use of standard English
● Purposeful transitional examples, definitions, grammar, punctuation,
strategies connect narrative, and/or rhetorical capitalization, and
ideas within and among techniques as appropriate to spelling demonstrates
paragraphs, creating enhance the argument. consistent command of the
cohesion. ● Smoothly integrated, relevant communication of ideas.
● Effective introduction and evidence from multiple ● Tone and/or voice
conclusion enhance the sources lends credibility to strengthens the overall
essay. the argument. argument.
● Grade‑level expectations
for counterclaim(s) are fully
addressed.
● Evidence is appropriately
cited.

3 ● Position** is focused on ● Logical development ● Integration of academic

Within the the task and generally demonstrates understanding vocabulary demonstrates
range of maintained throughout. of the topic. clear expression of ideas.
grade‑level ● Organizational structure ● Adequate elaboration may ● Sentence structure is
performance. is logical and allows for include (but may not be varied and demonstrates
the advancement of the limited to) a combination of grade‑appropriate language
argument. original student writing with facility.
● Purposeful transitional paraphrasing, text evidence, ● Use of grammar,
strategies connect examples, definitions, punctuation, capitalization,
ideas within and among narrative, and/or rhetorical and spelling demonstrates
paragraphs. techniques as appropriate to grade‑appropriate command
● Sufficient introduction and support the argument. of standard English
conclusion contribute to a ● Relevant, integrated conventions.
sense of completeness. evidence from multiple ● Tone and/or voice is
sources lends credibility to appropriate for the overall
the argument. argument.
● Grade‑level expectations
for counterclaim(s) are
sufficiently addressed.
● Evidence is appropriately
cited.

* Citation is not a holistic consideration. Without citation, the highest score possible in Development is 2.
** Claim in Grade 7 benchmarks

Florida Department of Education 13

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

Grades 7–10 Argumentative Rubric

Responses are scored holistically by domain and earn scores by
demonstrating most of the descriptors in a given score point.*
Score Point Purpose/Structure Development Language
2 ● Position** may be ● Development may ● Vocabulary and word choice
Approaching unclear, loosely related, or demonstrate partial or may be imprecise or basic,
the range of insufficiently sustained within incomplete understanding of demonstrating partial
grade‑level the task. the topic. command of expression of
performance. ● Organizational structure may ● Elaboration may attempt ideas.
be repetitive or inconsistent, to develop the argument ● Sentence structure may
disrupting the advancement but may rely heavily on the be partially controlled,
of ideas. sources, provide loosely somewhat simplistic, or
● Transitions attempt to related information, be lacking grade‑appropriate
connect ideas but may lack repetitive or otherwise language facility.
purpose and/or variety. ineffective. ● Inconsistent use of correct
● Introduction and conclusion ● Evidence may be partially grammar, punctuation,
may be present but integrated and/or related to capitalization, and/or
repetitive, simplistic, or the topic but unsupportive spelling; may contain
otherwise ineffective. of or disconnected from the multiple distracting errors,
argument. demonstrating partial
● Grade‑level expectations command of standard
for counterclaim(s) are English conventions.
insufficiently addressed. ● Tone and/or voice may be
● Lacks appropriate citations. inconsistent.
● May be grammatically
accurate but too
brief to demonstrate
grade‑appropriate command
of language skills.

1 ● Position** may be absent, ● Response may demonstrate ● Vocabulary and word choice
Below ambiguous, or confusing, lack of understanding of may be vague, unclear, or
grade‑level demonstrating lack of the topic and/or lack of confusing.
performance awareness of task. development. ● Sentence structure may be
demonstrated. ● Demonstrates little or no ● Elaboration may consist simplistic or confusing.
discernible organizational of confusing ideas or ● Use of grammar,
structure. demonstrate lack of punctuation, capitalization,
● Transitions may be absent or knowledge of elaborative and/or spelling may contain a
confusing. techniques. density and variety of severe
● Introduction and conclusion ● Evidence from the sources errors, demonstrating lack
may be unrelated to the may be absent, vague, and/ of command of standard
response and/or create or confusing. English conventions, often
confusion. ● Counterclaim(s) are absent or obscuring meaning.
● Too brief to demonstrate confusing. ● Tone and/or voice may be
knowledge of purpose, ● Lacks appropriate citations. inappropriate.
structure, or task. ● Too brief to demonstrate ● Brevity with errors
knowledge of elaboration, demonstrates lack of
topic, or sources. command of language skills.

* Citation is not a holistic consideration. Without citation, the highest score possible in Development is 2.
** Claim in Grade 7 benchmarks

14 Florida Department of Education

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

SAMPLE STUDENT RESPONSES

Florida Department of Education 15

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

Sample 1 (S‑1) Student Response Score Point 4/4/4 (page 1 of 3)

Technology all over the world is progressing greatly at a very fast pace. We 
already know that government officiated organizations use advanced technology
that can profile someone within a minute. But did you know that some phones,
such as an Iphone for example, can unlock by the fingerprint, eye pattern and
even your face? Although this might sound like a beneficial way to make life
simpler, facial recognition technology can be very harmful in numerous ways. For
example, if you get your biometric information stolen it can not be replaced, there
is not an actual answer to who’s hands the information goes to and there just
wont be any privacy in the lives of those who use technology. Facial recognition
programs say that they are developing way to make sure it only unlocks your
phone using your face, there are several ways to hack the system.

To begin with, new Iphones are able to unlock phones using facial recognition
programs. Facial recognition functions similar to fingerprinting, the system
recognizes each face has unique features that can not be copied and matches
the results to just one person. But there are too many ways to get your biometric
information pilfered by somebody else. In source 1, “Some Devices Recognize
Your Face. Is That a Good Thing?” the passage states, “ In 2016, researchers at
the university of North Carolina gathered plublicly available Facebook photos.
They used them to build 3D models of faces. Then they showed these fake faces
to five different facial recognition systems. Four out of the five let the imposter
in. (Face ID wasn’t part of the test)”. This helps explain how even though it was a
study performed and controlled by a university, anyone with bad intentions could
steal your information. However, getting your credit card stolen for example and
your face essentially are completely different things. It is much simpler to call
your bank and have them deal with the stolen card than it is to change your face.
With that, there are other ways that another person could steal your face, such as
simply putting your phone in front of your face. In the world of technology, there is
not a way to genuinely have one hundred percent of privacy.

Furthermore, privacy is a huge deal but with technology progressing as

it is, we are losing plenty of it. We have all of our information on social media
websites and smart device companies installed in their systems. Their programs
are only getting more accurate, it is frightening actually. According to source 2,
“ As facial‑recognition technology grows, so does wariness about privacy.” the
text states, “ It’s gotten to accurate that it can tell identical twins apart and match
family photos of the same person even if they were taken decades apart. . . .”.
The fact that it is even possible to do that goes to show what an invasion of
privacy technology has on us. To put things into perspective, technology is able to
identify someone who is forty years old, when they are ten due to the pattern and
signature of their face. On social media though, websites can track your interests
to target beneficial advertising. This is helpful because you will not be seeing
advertisements that do not apply to you and can help businesses financially.

16 Florida Department of Education

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

S‑1 Score Point 4/4/4 (page 2 of 3)

Facebook does this but wants to take it one step further by using your pictures
and tracking what you look like and what you wear. If that isnt an invasion of

privacy then what is? All of this just to get advertisements targeted towards you,
its not worth the risk really.

Facebook also says in source 3, “ Facebook wants to save your face. Should
you say yes to facial recognition?”,“The company says it has no plans to make
people’s facial recognition data available to advertisers or outside developers.”.
But how do we know that they will not share our information for their empire to
improve? Facebook is all about progressing and making life easier but it doesnt
see like what they are doing is for our benefit as they have showed time and
time again. The question of the hour is, where does our biometric data go when
we submit it to facial recognition systems? Well no one really knows. Source
3 states, “ In December, Facebook expanded the scope of its technology with
the announcement that it would let users know when someone posts a photo of
them, even if they are not tagged in it. The technology informs you if someone
uses a photo of you in their profile picture to help detect impersonations. It also
makes it possible for the visually impaired to have screen readers tell them whos
tagged in friends’ photos.” Well, Facebook says that it is a harmless way to detect
when you are in a photo, for advertisements and to make it easier for visually
impaired people, people still are clueless as to where the information is stored and
who it is given to. Technology may be advancing but society is not ready for the
responsibilities it comes with.

To conclude, facial recognition has more negative effects to not accecpt it

into society that positive reasons. When biometric information is stolen there is
not a way to be able to recooperate that data. Identity theft starts with just facial
recognition hacking and ends up a whole lot more grave. Also privacy barely
exists now. With the way technology is advancing, there is not much room for
privacy. Databases have all your most important information stored and more of it
just keeps going in there. But people are not aware of who knows who has access
to those files with our eye pattern, face, ear and fingerprints. If technology keeps
progressing the way it is, who knows how much more invasive facial recognition
and technology in general will get.

Florida Department of Education 17

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

S‑1 Annotation Score Point 4/4/4 (page 3 of 3)

4 – Purpose/Structure
● The position (Although this might sound like a beneficial way to make life simpler, facial
recognition technology can be very harmful in numerous ways) is focused on the task and is
consistently maintained throughout the response.
● The organizational structure strengthens the response and advances the argument as each
paragraph ends on an idea that sets up the next paragraph.
● Purposefully used transitional strategies (But; For example; To begin with; even though;
However; With that; In the world of technology; Furthermore; To put things into perspective;
On social media though; Well; also; To conclude; With the way technology is advancing)
create cohesion as they connect ideas throughout.
● An effective introduction uses rhetorical devices, contextual information, and a scenario to
draw the reader in and set up the position. The conclusion thoroughly summarizes the concepts
from the body paragraphs without allowing the language to become repetitive.
4 – Development
● The development is skillful, demonstrating thorough understanding of the topic.
● Elaboration—from original writing to text evidence and narrative and rhetorical techniques
used—is effective and enhances the argument (To put things into perspective, technology
is able to identify someone who is forty years old, when they are ten due to the pattern and
signature of their face. On social media though, websites can track your interests to target
beneficial advertising. This is helpful because you will not be seeing advertisements that do
not apply to you and can help businesses financially).
● Relevant evidence from multiple sources (all three) is smoothly integrated, making the
argument credible.
● Grade‑level expectations for counterclaim(s) are fully addressed as body paragraphs 1 and 2
set up a purpose for the creation of facial recognition software before rebutting it with analysis
and text evidence.
● Evidence is appropriately cited.
4 – Language
● Ideas are strengthened and furthered by the integration of academic vocabulary (government
officiated organizations; numerous; pilfered; essentially; genuinely; frightening; empire;
harmless; detect; grave; barely; invasive) in the essay.
● A skillful use of various sentence structures contributes to the fluidity of ideas (With that, there
are other ways that another person could steal your face, such as simply putting your phone
in front of your face. In the world of technology, there is not a way to genuinely have one
hundred percent of privacy).
● Correct use of standard English grammar demonstrates consistent command of the
communication of ideas.
● The tone and voice used strengthen the overall argument, as evidenced in the second body
paragraph.

18 Florida Department of Education

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

Sample 2 (S‑2) Student Response Score Point 4/2/4 (page 1 of 3)

The year is 2021, not much has changed except the fact that you have this
vibrant, new future that allows you to access your phone using facial recognition.

You return to your house from another typical day of work, just to get a phone call
to soon discover that someone has retained all of your phone information and is
leaking it online. How did such a crime take place? By simply copying your face,
hackers now have unlimited access to your phone, privacy, and all your valuable
information stored onto there. Is this what you want to happen to you?

Facial recognition being used as a method to access your phone is more

harmful than it is beneficial, and for a significant amount of reasons. For one,
the face is certainly an easy target for someone to copy. With the amount of
pictures we have out there of us, to copy someone’s face isn’t exactly a challenge.
These pictures and selfies can be used against us by hackers abusing the Face
ID technology. Why might this be of any concern? Well, think about all of the
information and data you have saved on your phone. Now imagine if absolute
strangers have it in their hands, and can give it out to anyone like free samples at
your local Costco. You also can’t be able to change your face back, so you can
finally deny the hacker access to your phone. Once he/she has it, it’s theirs. The
possibilities of this happening are also very likely, as in 2016 a group of researches
from the University of North Carolina made 3D models of random Facebook
photos. As researchers state, “Then they showed these fake faces to five different
facial recognition systems. Four out of the five let the imposter in.”

A key factor before you allow access to your face like this is to dertermine
the amount of trust you have for whomever you wish to give this out to. Is this
company reliable? For instance, a massive marketer for the use of Face ID is
Facebook, who wishes to use it for beneficial circumstances such as being able
to spot out anyone who uses your picture and notify you immediatley. Though
their intentions are decent, it can easily be used against them. As I stated in
the paragraph above, hackers can easily gain access by simply using your face
now. Facebook, whilst being a large company, still isn’t completely reliable. It is
mentioned that, “Distrust over how Facebook treats its customers’ personal data
has jumped after 87 million users had their data pilfered by Cambridge Analytica.”
87 million people in the world have already had their data been stolen without the
new facial recognition technology. Imagine a world in which this technology is
inclusive to everyone with a phone.

There are so many risks to using such technology that it completely

out‑weighs any possible benefits. You might ask, “what even are the benefits
to using facial recognition?” The number one reason is simply convienence. It’s
incredibly easy to put your phone up to your face and have it unlocked for you.
You’ll never have to worry about losing your password, as you cannot lose your
face. Are we really becoming so fatigued and lazy that we cannot perform the task
of typing in a four digit code? Another arguement is that the technology would still

Florida Department of Education 19

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

S‑2 Score Point 4/2/4 (page 2 of 3)

be safe to use. “SAFR doesn’t now the identity of people in the RealTimes photos,
Vance said‑‑‑ there are no names, addresses or other identifying information in

the massive database of 8 million face,” but that should never be apart of the
arguement in the first place, as that was never a concern. The concern is that your
information stored on your phone can be hacked by unwanted forces who can
gain access to your data via Face ID.

In conclusion, not everything that glitters is gold, just as not every brand
new idea for technology is just as beneficial as it seems to be. Beneath the clever
marketing of effecience and performance, lies the dark truth of higher risk than
reward. In the time where everything must be fast and urgent, sometimes it’s
important to taka step back and analyze the situation for what it is.

20 Florida Department of Education

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

S‑2 Annotation Score Point 4/2/4 (page 3 of 3)

4 – Purpose/Structure
● The position taken (Facial recognition being used as a method to access your phone is more
harmful than it is beneficial) is focused on the task and is consistently maintained throughout.
● The organizational structure being used strengthens the response and advances the argument.
● Transitional strategies (By; For one; Well; Now; also; Once; For instance; Though; As I
stated; Another; In conclusion; sometimes) are purposefully used to connect ideas within and
among paragraphs, creating cohesion.
● An effective introduction draws the reader in with a scenario about a future in which you are
the victim of identity theft, and then sets up the rest of the response to explain why this future
should be avoided. The conclusion is brief but effective, appealing to the audience (analyze the
situation).
2 – Development
● Skillful development demonstrates thorough understanding of the topic.
● Original writing with paraphrasing, text evidence, examples, narrative and rhetorical
techniques constitute an effective elaboration that enhances the argument (Why might this be of
any concern? Well, think about all of the information and data you have saved on your phone.
Now imagine if absolute strangers have it in their hands, and can give it out to anyone like
free samples at your local Costco).
● Relevant evidence from multiple sources (all three sources) is smoothly integrated, lending
credibility to the argument.
● Grade‑level expectations for counterclaim(s) are fully addressed in the introduction, the 2nd
and 3rd body paragraphs, and in the conclusion.
● Although the response demonstrates above grade‑level accomplishment, lack of citation
prevents the score from moving beyond the 2 level.
4 – Language
● The integration of academic vocabulary (vibrant; retained; unlimited; valuable; certainly;
absolute; massive; circumstances; decent; gain; inclusive; fatigued; unwanted forces; glitters;
clever; dark truth of higher risk) strengthens and furthers the ideas.
● Various sentence structures (mostly compound and complex ones) are skillfully used,
contributing to the fluidity of ideas.
● Use of standard English grammar with very few errors demonstrates consistent command of
the communication of ideas.
● Tone and voice strengthen the overall argument, as evidenced in the introduction and
conclusion.

Florida Department of Education 21

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

Sample 3 (S‑3) Student Response Score Point 3/3/3 (page 1 of 3)

Techology has improved and is continuing to improve every day and making
life a little sweeter everytime. Take facial reconginiton for example, it has advanced

and improved over the years, but has had a lot of conservercsy, even though their
has been issues we still use it, this is because its just that beneficial to society.
Facial recongintion is beneficial because it identifies criminals and helpes them to
get caught quicker, makes our lives easier, and it helps people with disabilities

Criminals has been smarter and using more unique techniques but so
has techinology, it has made it easier to find and identify the criminal. Facial
reconginition can be used on cameras and drones to find criminals quicker than
ever before, get them behind bars fast, and ensure everybody safety. In source 2
paragrapgh 20 it states “In China, the technology is so common that it can identify
people who are jaywalking and dispaly their photos on public digital billboards.”
Using this kind of technlogy, identifing people that robbed a bank willl be as easy
as indetifying people that robbed a convient store. This way hiding would be
difficult, even in the most secretive spot facial recongintion will be able to find
them. Which would be beneficial to everyone, well.....maby not the crimincal.

Another benefict of facial recongintion is making our lives easier. Yes, we

could spare a little time on making a password, but having to come up and
remeber an airsecure password is very time consuming, with facial recongition we
wouldn’t have to remeber anything just stare at our phones and we will be done.
In source 1 paragraoh 1 it states that “You pick up you phone and stare at it.
Instantly, the screen unlocks.” In source 2 paragraph 10 is states “As Mike Vance
approaches the glass door that leads to RealNetworks’ engineering offices, he
smiles slightly at a small camera mounted in front of him. Click. The door unlocks,
responding to a command from the software powering the camera that recognized
Vance’s face and confirmed his identity.” Us as people havent gotten lazy per‑say,
but like to spend more time on other things then putting in a long code in our
phones to make sure no one gets in or unlocking doors. Having an easier way out,
*cough* *cough* facial recngition helps with more things and spares us the time
and difficulty. Facial recongintion isnt just for people that are “lazy” it also helps
people with disabilites.

Facial reongition is being improved to help people that are impaired in

different areas. In source 3 paragraph 35 it says “ It also makes it possible for the
visually impaired to have screen reader teel them who’s tagged in friends’ photos.”
Having screen readers and other technolgy can really help people out and put
them at ease, and for them to know that their not alone, that their are things that
can help. Facial recognition is beneficial to all people, and isnt biased to certain
people. It helps all people.

22 Florida Department of Education

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

S‑3 Score Point 3/3/3 (page 2 of 3)

On the other hand, facial apperences are eaisily reprical and isnt that secure. 
Technology can also be used to copy people faces and use it to get into people
phones or other things secured by facial reconginition. In source 1 paragrapgh 6
it states “They used them to build 3D models of faces. Then2 they showed thes
fake faces to five different facial reognition systems. Four out of the five let the
imposter in.” This raises concerns on how protected is your private information
and how easy people can get into it. Always worring about if someone is getting
into your things isnt good and isnt going to let you be at ease. Having that little bit
of space for someone to get into your account isnt safe.

All in all, facial regoncition is very beneficial. It helps to catch the bad guys,
makes out life a little easier, and helps people with disabilities. Even thoughfacial
recongition has a small posibility of someone getting into your private things, it is
always improving and would take a lot of work just for someone to duplicate your
face. Facial recocognition is one of the newest improvements in our society and
is going to keep imroving. If I was you I would go on ahead and jup on this fast
moving train.

Florida Department of Education 23

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

S‑3 Annotation Score Point 3/3/3 (page 3 of 3)

3 – Purpose/Structure
● The position in this response (Facial recongintion is beneficial) is focused on the task and is
generally maintained throughout.
● The organizational structure is logical and allows for the advancement of the argument, with
each body paragraph following one of the three topics outlined in the introduction (because it
identifies criminals and helpes them to get caught quicker; makes our lives easier, and it helps
people with disabilities).
● Purposeful transitional strategies (for example; but; even though; This way; Another; Yes;
Having an easier way out; isnt just; On the other hand; All in all; Even though) are used to
connect ideas within and among paragraphs.
● A sufficient introduction gives some context about technology and facial recognition and sets
up a clear position and the key points for the body paragraphs. The conclusion summarizes
the response while avoiding repetitive language and ends on a direct appeal to the audience to
attempt to give some sense of completeness.
3 – Development
● There is a logical development that demonstrates understanding of the topic.
● An adequate elaboration combining original student writing (Us as people havent gotten lazy
per‑say, but like to spend more time on other things then putting in a long code in our phones
to make sure no one gets in or unlocking doors) with paraphrase, text evidence, and rhetorical
techniques support the argument.
● Relevant evidence from multiple sources is integrated to lend credibility to the argument.
● Grade‑level expectations for counterclaim(s) are sufficiently addressed in the introduction, the
2nd body paragraph, and the 4th body paragraph.
● Evidence is appropriately cited.
3 – Language
● Academic vocabulary (improved; advanced; unique techniques; ensure; secretive; time
consuming; disabilites; biased; concerns; duplicate) is integrated, demonstrating clear
expression of ideas.
● Sentence structure is varied, showing grade‑appropriate language facility.
● Use of grammar—Despite spelling errors and usage errors, the response shows overall
grade‑appropriate command of standard English conventions.
● The tone and voice are appropriate for the overall argument, as evidenced in the 2nd body
paragraph.

24 Florida Department of Education

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

Sample 4 (S‑4) Student Response Score Point 3/3/3 (page 1 of 2)

Have you ever forgotten your password? Or locked yourself out of your
phone? Well that will not be happening anymore! New phones are being created

to recognize your face and use that information to unlock the phone. This is an
amazing idea because all you have to do is look at your phone and you are in.

We are living in the future with all this technology! We have the world at our
fingertips and the safest form of getting into our devices to exist. You can not
steal a face, it is impossible, a face is unique. Even parents, who their child looks
exactly like them, can not steal the face of their child. It is the safest possible way
to get in to your devices. No more passwords, which are honestly easy to guess.
Now, using your fingerprint is just as safe as using your face, but with a fingerprint
you usually have a password and multiple people´s fingerprints in the phone. But
using your face to unlock a device is brilliant and the safest way to make sure
nobody gets into your phone. In source two the text says, “each face has its own
unique signature” meaning it can not be stolen.

Not only is facial recognition safe but it is fast and easy. In todays life
everything is becoming easier and easier. Nobody wants to go through the
struggle of typing a password evertime they need to enter their phone. The world
is changing before our very eyes. These technologies are only going to get easier
to use. Humans love things to be easy, companies have figured out that humans
are getting lazier and need things to be easier for them. But really, how easily
we can get into our phone now is remarkable. Our world is growing so much. In
source one the author says, “People like using biometrics for security because
they are easy. You can not misplace or forget your own face.” Everyone agrees
that this is brilliant and easy tenchnology.

Some people might say that you could just hold the phone up to the persons
face, or use a photo of them but that would only happen if you knew them
personally or kidnapped them! But how is someones privacy being invaded more
than they already are posting on instagram or snapchat. We get to be part of the
safest way to enter your devices. What is so wrong about that? We already post
a ton of personal things on our social media, so our privacy is not technically
being invaded with facial recognition. In source number one, “people enjoy
using biometrics as a password because it is easy and secure. It is very hard
to fake another human beings body parts” you see, everyone agrees that facial
recognition is great.

In conclusion, facial recognition is safe, simple, and secure. It is one of

the safest ways to keep things private from other people. It is super easy and
simple to enter your device. And, it is secure intruders looking to hurt you. This is
a complete win, we have deciphered how to be safe and secure. Thank you for
listening to my ted talk.

Florida Department of Education 25

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

S‑4 Annotation Score Point 3/3/3 (page 2 of 2)

3 – Purpose/Structure
● The position is present (This [facial recognition technology] is an amazing idea because all
you have to do is look at your phone and you are in), focused on the task, and is generally
maintained throughout the response.
● The organizational structure is logical and advances the argument. After the introduction, the
topic of safety is addressed; then that of fast and easy access to devices before the idea of
privacy is called in to counter an opposing view.
● Transitional strategies (Well; Even; Now; But; Not only; In todays life; But really; or; In
conclusion; And) are purposefully used to connect ideas within and among paragraphs.
● Sufficient introduction and conclusion contribute to a sense of completeness. The introduction
draws the reader in by asking some rhetorical questions about problems they’ve experienced,
and then promising to show how facial recognition will fix these issues. The conclusion is
brief, but succinctly summarizes the key points and attempts to end on a satisfying idea for the
reader (This is a complete win, we have deciphered how to be safe and secure).
3 – Development
● The response has a logical development, demonstrating understanding of the topic.
● Elaboration is adequate, with a combination of original student writing (Even parents, who
their child looks exactly like them, can not steal the face of their child), paraphrase, text
evidence, and rhetorical techniques (such as rhetorical questions in the introduction) to support
the argument.
● Relevant evidence from multiple sources is integrated, lending credibility to the argument.
● Grade‑level expectations for counterclaim(s) are sufficiently addressed in the third body
paragraph.
● Evidence is appropriately cited.
3 – Language
● Integration of academic vocabulary (amazing; brilliant; remarkable; kidnapped; invaded;
technically; deciphered) in the response demonstrates clear expression of ideas.
● Grade‑appropriate language facility is demonstrated through a variety of sentence structures.
● Use of grammar demonstrates grade‑appropriate command of standard English conventions.
● The tone used is appropriate for the overall argument, evidenced in the introduction and
conclusion.

26 Florida Department of Education

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

Sample 5 (S‑5) Student Response Score Point 3/3/3 (page 1 of 2)

Facial recognition is a common key for many devices. Many people trust
and use facial recognition to keep their information safe. Do people know that

facial recognition could leed to more danger? Some people put their information
on a device that could get hacked. Some people might get hacked or even be
exposed. Facial recognition technology is harmful to people who use it.

To start of, facial recognition serves an easy way to hack into someone’s
device. Someone might be able to make a replica of a face and hack into the
device. Source 1 proves, “Four out of the five let the imposter in.” This proves
that it is possible to make replicas of a face. Most replicas were proven succesful.
Even though people think no one has the face same as theirs, someone could
make a copy and easily hack into their device. People might start making fake
replicas and now those people are in danger because once someone hacks your
device, your information is no longer classified. Now that it is easier to get peoples
information, you might want to reconcider facial recognition.

Furthermore, facial recognition records your face an then could easily get
any information they want. Someone might try to track you down and with
facial recognition it is easy to do that. Source 3 explains, “One is consumer
convenience, such as grouping photos, and the other is for surveillance and
tracking...” This evidence shows that facial recognition is also used for traking
people down. Once facial recognition scans your face, information that was
private could now be exposed. This could prove to be more dangerous to the
people that don’t want their identity revealed. This is dangerous because if this
information falls into the wrong hands then many people could be in danger.

Moving on, some people think it is benifical if facial recognition can reconize
you. People might rely on it because they think that not many people would be
able to find them. Although people think that facial recognition is keeping us safe,
it really is a threat. Sorce 2 states, “... can recognize people in photos and videos
even if their face are obscured, picking up clues from posture and body shape.”
Even though this might be true, someone could easily track you down if facial
recognition knows what your features are. If you don’t want to be seen but facial
recognition is figuring out who and where you are, this can only lead to more
danger and could hurt many people.

Over all, we should be aware of the dangers of facial recognition. It might

seem like it’s safe but it is good to the dangers and risks. Now people will be more
aware and catious. If you want safety, then you might want to reconcider facial
recognition

Florida Department of Education 27

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

S‑5 Annotation Score Point 3/3/3 (page 2 of 2)

3 – Purpose/Structure
● This response has a stated position (Facial recognition technology is harmful to people who
use it) that is focused on the task and is generally maintained.
● The organizational structure is logical and allows the argument to advance—from the first idea
(facial recognition serves as an easy way to hack into someone’s device) to the second idea
(negative use of hacked information), to addressing opposing views.
● There are purposeful transitional strategies (To start of; Even though; Now; Furthermore;
Once; Moving on; Although; Over all; If; then) that connect the ideas throughout.
● Sufficient introduction and conclusion give a sense of completeness to the essay.
3 – Development
● There is a logical development that demonstrates understanding of the topic.
● The elaboration is adequate—with a combination of original writing, paraphrase, text
evidence, and rhetorical techniques to support the argument.
● The relevant evidence is integrated from multiple sources (all three), lending credibility to the
argument.
● Grade‑level expectations of counterclaim(s) is sufficiently addressed in the third body
paragraph—with acknowledgments in the first body paragraph and in the conclusion.
● Evidence is appropriately cited (Source 1 proves; Source 3 explains; Sorce 2 states).
3 – Language
● Academic vocabulary is integrated (common key; serves; classified; exposed; revealed;
catious; reconcider)), demonstrating clear expression of ideas.
● The variety of sentence structures used demonstrates grade‑appropriate language facility.
● Use of grammar demonstrates grade‑appropriate command of standard English conventions—
despite a few spelling errors.
● The tone and voice used are appropriate for the overall argument, as evidenced in the first
body paragraph.

28 Florida Department of Education

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

Sample 6 (S‑6) Student Response Score Point 2/2/2 (page 1 of 2)

The technology we have now is so great but can be costly. Facial

recognition is when a electronic scans your face seeing if its you or not. I think

facial recognition technology is more harmful than good in the sense that
facial recognition isn’t the only password. With facial recognition people unlike
password you can’t change your face. Also big companies are using facial
recognition and this can get your information released easier. To begin with, facial
recognition is not the only password you can use for your stuff. Passwords are
important for the online world it keeps or online stuff safe. Like in source 1 it says
“Your face isn’t the only characteristic you can use as a password”. There are
other forms of password, I use a pin and lines for my password. In source 1 it
states “Many smartphones already accept fingerprint logins”.

To add on to, unlike many things in life you can’t change your face for your
password. One i put facial recognition on my phone cousin got into my phone,
look through my stuff, bought a twenty dollar app (game) on my phone. In source
3 it states “But you can’t delete your face, and you can’t leave it at home”. I say
a crazy ex on youtube grabbed her ex husband phone, got through his security
with facial recognition and transfered 3 thousand dollars to her account and got
arrested. “software gets better at identifying faces. But growing along privacy
concerns and rising calls for regulation”.

To continue, big companies are using facial recognition and this can get your
information released easier. In source 3 it states “ What may seem harmless ‑
allowing Facebook to create an impression of your face ‑ can be more telling than
some people think. And soon it could reveal your health, privacy experts say”.
Theres these things on this chatting service snapchat you can save someones
selfie or snap on their gallary on their phone and see their location on snapchat.
In source 3 it states “Facebook can glean from user’s photos about their interests,
activities, and social circles, the more percisely it can target advertising.” One time
i search up Ps4 (Playstation four) controllers on Google and for a month of ads for
knoch off and legit Ps4 contollers to buy and it was annoying.

In conclusion, facial recognition can do more bad than good. With there being
more other passwords and that you can just delete facial recognition because you
can’t delete your face also big companies are using facial recognition and this can
get your information released easier. Facial recognition is the most technological
way of security we have to wait and see.

Florida Department of Education 29

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

S‑6 Annotation Score Point 2/2/2 (page 2 of 2)

2 – Purpose/Structure
● The position in this response is clear (I think facial recognition technology is more harmful
than good), but it is insufficiently sustained within the task.
● The organizational structure is inconsistent. Although there are three points given in the
introduction, progression of these points is disrupted in the first and third body paragraphs.
● Transitions attempt to connect ideas and show some variety (Also; To begin with; Like; To add
on to; To continue; One time; In conclusion).
● The introduction and conclusion are ineffective. The introduction attempts to lay out the points
that will be covered in the body paragraphs, but the way these ideas are listed without context
makes the purpose of the response initially difficult to follow. The conclusion restates the
position and key points from the response but then attempts to end on some more global ideas
that only weakly relate to the position.
2 – Development
● The development demonstrates an incomplete understanding of the topic.
● The elaboration is ineffective, as attempts to expand on the source material are never fully
developed and questionably related (Theres these things on this chatting service snapchat you
can save someones selfie or snap on their gallary on their phone and see their location on
snapchat).
● Evidence is partially integrated. Source content in body paragraphs 1 and 3 is not used
adequately for the argument, while in paragraph 2 personal experience/loosely related material
is used to integrate source content.
● Grade‑level expectations for counterclaim(s) are insufficiently addressed. Only a hint is given
in the conclusion (Facial recognition is the most technological way of security we have to).
● Appropriate citations are present, but this alone does not elevate the development domain
beyond a 2.
2 – Language
● Vocabulary and word choice are sometimes imprecise (the word stuff is repetitively used).
● Sentence structure is partially controlled due to heavy reliance on the sources. Few compound
sentences are done correctly.
● Use of correct grammar (usage, punctuation, capitalization, sentence formation) is
inconsistent, demonstrating partial command of standard English conventions.
● The tone and voice are sometimes inappropriate (a crazy ex on youtube).

30 Florida Department of Education

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

Sample 7 (S‑7) Student Response Score Point 2/2/3 (page 1 of 2)

Have you heard that face recognition is a thing now adays? Facial recognition
is scanning your face to keep it in a database and to unlock phones, or even to

know more about your life online. Some people say facial recognition is a good
thing to have, and a step up in technology, but it is harmful because it makes your
personal life so vulnerable. Facial recognition is also bad because it can be used
in a database and stored somewhere, possibly without your knowing. The last
reason facial recognition is harmful is because is the future, it will be possible to
know people medical conditions/records just with facial recognition.

The first reason facial recognition is harmful is because it can be stored in

a database without your knowing. You can be walking down the street, and a
camera will see your face and just store it. This can be an intrusion of privacy if
your recorded without your knowing. The article says “But now, as RealNetworks’
SAFR shows, the technology has been moving further into public spaces. And
with that, privacy advocates wonder if people fully realize how often their faces are
being scanned, and advocates and the industry alike question where the line is
between the benefits to the public and the cost to privacy.”

The second reason facial recognition is harmful is because medical records/

conditions can be exposed without the persons consent or even knowing. Some
people dont think that facial recognition can be that knowledgeable, but it is
predicted in the future that facial recognition will be able to tell if you have a
medical condition. This is very intrusive on the persons privacy and is probably
without them knowing. The article states “ soon it could reveal even more,
including the state of your health, privacy experts say.”

In conclusion, I hope you can see why facial recognition is harmful. One
reason is because it can be stored in a database without your knowing. The
second reason is because it can expose medical records and/or conditions. Facial
recognition is a complete and total privacy breach and should be banned/ heavily
restricted.

Florida Department of Education 31

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

S‑7 Annotation Score Point 2/2/3 (page 2 of 2)

2 – Purpose/Structure
● The position in this response (it is harmful because it makes your personal life so vulnerable.
Facial recognition is also bad) is insufficiently sustained within the task.
● The organizational structure is inconsistent and does not allow for the advancement of ideas,
as the setup in the introduction states there will be three topics to develop when only two
topics are attempted.
● Transitions are present (but; also; The last reason; The first reason; The second reason; In
conclusion) and attempt to connect ideas.
● The introduction and conclusion are present but repetitive.
2 – Development
● The development demonstrates an incomplete understanding of the topic.
● The elaboration in this response relies heavily on the sources and is somewhat repetitive.
● Evidence is taken from multiple sources, with attempts to develop the argument with quotes
from the sources that closely resemble the points made and are dropped in at the end of each
body paragraph.
● Grade‑level expectations for counterclaim(s) are addressed. There is an awareness of
counterclaim demonstrated in the introduction (Some people say facial recognition is a good
thing to have). The second body paragraph has a counterclaim that is sufficiently addressed,
but this alone does not elevate the score beyond a 2 (Some people dont think that facial
recognition can be that knowledgeable).
● Appropriate citation is not present (The article says or The article states is not a valid citation).
3 – Language
● Integration of academic vocabulary (vulnerable; intrusion; exposed; consent; knowledgeable;
predicted; breach; heavily restricted) demonstrates clear expression of ideas.
● Sentence structure is varied and demonstrates grade‑appropriate language facility.
● Use of grammar demonstrates grade‑appropriate command of standard English conventions—
despite the few errors present.
● Tone and voice are appropriate for the overall argument, as evidenced in the first body
paragraph.

32 Florida Department of Education

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

Sample 8 (S‑8) Student Response Score Point 2/2/2 (page 1 of 2)

Privacy is important, but when people use social media or just have a phone
there is a lack of privacy. Almost everyone has a phone and in that phone there

is your private information. What if someone knows your password and then they
can get to your phone and take all your private information to take it against you.
No problem, now you have a password and your face is now also used as your
password. But is using your face safe? First of a lot of people use phones and
also a lot of them take pictures as in selfies and when a person posts it people
can now take that photo of their face and use it against them. How you may
ask? Well in passage 1 it states “In 2016, researchers at the University of North
Carolina gathered publicly available Facebook photos. They used them to build
3D models of faces. Then they showed these fake faces to five different facial
recognition systems. Four out of the five let the imposter in. (Face ID wasn’t part
of the test)” (paragraph 6). This means that when a person is taking a selfie and
posting it they are basically giving people permission of seeing what they look
like and now that person can get their identity stolen. Also why facial‑ recognition
is harmful to people security is that some social media can also steal some of
your personal information. In passage 3 it says “Facebook’s facial recognition
technology analyzes photos and videos to create a unique “template” to identify
you. The technology is a shortcut that scans photos to suggest names of friends
to tag” (paragraph 30). This means that social media like facebook already knows
what you look like thanks to facial recognition. Honestly that’s kinda creepy. In
conclusion, facial recognition might not seem harmful but maybe think twice
before you do anything and be safe.

Florida Department of Education 33

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

S‑8 Annotation Score Point 2/2/2 (page 2 of 2)

2 – Purpose/Structure
● The position in this response (facial‑ recognition is harmful) is insufficiently sustained within
the task.
● The organizational structure is inconsistent. The development is disrupted, not moving beyond
two ideas (people can now take that photo of their face and use it against them and some
social media can also steal some of your personal information), with a setup, a text reference,
and a rephrasing of the topic.
● Transitions attempt to connect ideas. There are three external transitions marking the lines
between the introduction and the topics and the conclusion (First of; Also; In conclusion) and
few internal transitions (also; Well; Honestly).
● The introduction (Privacy is important . . . But is using your face safe) and conclusion are
present, but the conclusion is simplistic and minimal.
2 – Development
● The development demonstrates partial understanding of the topic.
● The elaboration relies heavily on the sources and is repetitive of the source material.
● The evidence is partially integrated, as the connection between quotations and the surrounding
elaboration is not always clear (Also why facial‑ recognition is harmful to people security is
that some social media can also steal some of your personal information. In passage 3 it says
“Facebook’s facial recognition technology analyzes photos and videos to create a unique
“template” to identify you. The technology is a shortcut that scans photos to suggest names of
friends to tag”).
● Grade‑level expectations for counterclaim(s) are not sufficiently addressed—although the
response shows hints in both the introduction and the conclusion.
● Appropriate citations are present (in passage 1, In passage 3), but this alone does not elevate
this score point beyond a 2.
2 – Language
● Vocabulary and word choice are basic (Almost everyone has a phone and in that phone there
is your private information. What if someone knows your password and then they can get to
your phone and take all your private information to take it against you; Honestly that’s kinda
creepy), demonstrating partial command of expression of ideas.
● Sentence structure is partially controlled, with most of the essay consisting of source material.
● Inconsistent use of correct grammar (punctuation, usage) demonstrates partial command of
standard English conventions.
● Tone and voice are consistent but somewhat casual and conversational for an academic essay.

34 Florida Department of Education

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

Sample 9 (S‑9) Student Response Score Point 1/1/2 (page 1 of 2)

Do you happen to have an iPhone, or know someone that owns one? Have
you noticed that their/ your phone most likely has Face ID. It’s a (somewhat) new

way to unlock your phone without even touching it. Some say facial recognition
technology is harmful, others say it’s quite beneficial. Although facial recognition
is natural, simple, and effortless, I still believe that, in some ways, Facial ID can be
harmful. Here’s why.

It’s not impossible to unlock one’s cellular device, even though’s that carry a
password. It may take a little time and patience, but some can get that job done
and possibly walk away with all your personal information. Someone can easily
take a photo off of social media and use that photo to hack into a system such as
Face ID. People do it all the time. It’s nothing new. If someone were to unlock your
phone, they could hack all of your personal information such as your credit/ debit
card information, your adress, your passwords to your social media accounts, etc.
All it takes is your face/ password and BOOM! they’re in, they know all of your
personal information and there’s possibly nothing you can do about it. “It’s hard to
fake another person’s body parts. But it’s not impossible.”.

Florida Department of Education 35

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

S‑9 Annotation Score Point 1/1/2 (page 2 of 2)

1 – Purpose/Structure
● A position is present in the response (Although facial recognition is natural, simple, and
effortless, I still believe that, in some ways, Facial ID can be harmful. Here’s why) but it is not
sustained, demonstrating little awareness of task.
● There is little discernible organizational structure demonstrated.
● There are few transitions (Although; in some ways; but).
● The response has an introduction that provides some context. No conclusion is present.
● Brevity contributes to the response not demonstrating knowledge of purpose, structure, and
task.
1 – Development
● The response demonstrates lack of development.
● The response attempts to develop just one idea (lack of security) but never attempts to show
how this idea supports the position.
● Evidence from sources is weakly integrated (“It’s hard to fake another person’s body parts.
But it’s not impossible.”).
● A counterclaim is minimally hinted at in the introduction (Although facial recognition is
natural, simple, and effortless).
● There is no citation.
● Brevity contributes to the response demonstrating little knowledge of elaboration, topic, or
sources.
2 – Language
● Vocabulary and word choice are imprecise (and BOOM! they’re in), demonstrating partial
command of expression of ideas.
● Sentence structure is partially controlled, somewhat simplistic in terms of the original writing,
showing lack of grade‑appropriate language facility.
● Inconsistent use of correct grammar (punctuation, spelling) shows partial command of
standard English conventions.
● The tone and voice are inconsistently appropriate for an academic audience.
● Brevity of the essay contributes to the response not demonstrating grade‑appropriate command
of language skills.

36 Florida Department of Education

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

Sample 10 (S‑10) Student Response Score Point 1/1/1 (page 1 of 2)

I think facial recognition is a really good thing like the fingerprint recognition. I
believe that facial recognition is a good thing because it takes less time to open

your phone. facial recognition is one of the better things about iphones it takes
less time and you dont have to use nothing but your face to open the phone. In
my opinion i believe i phones are better than androids and iphones should be
the only phone. I also believe that iphones are super expensive and they schould
lower the price.

They new ipones should be effortless,simple and more natural.

Florida Department of Education 37

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

S‑10 Annotation Score Point 1/1/1 (page 2 of 2)

1 – Purpose/Structure
● There is a position in this response (I think facial recognition is a really good thing) but it is
not sustained, demonstrating lack of awareness of the task.
● The response demonstrates no discernible organizational structure, simply presenting a list of
thoughts on the topic.
● Transitions (In my opinion; also) are present but they do not connect ideas within and among
paragraphs.
● There is no discernible introduction or conclusion.
● The response is too brief to demonstrate knowledge of purpose, structure, or task.
1 – Development
● The response demonstrates a lack of development.
● Elaboration consists of a few confusing ideas and loosely related opinions (nothing but your
face; iphones should be the only phone).
● Evidence from sources is vague and confusing, such as the paraphrased line at the end of the
response which is seemingly disconnected from the rest of the response (They new ipones
should be effortless,simple and more natural).
● There is no counterclaim.
● There is no citation given.
● The response is too brief to demonstrate knowledge of elaboration, topic, or sources.
1 – Language
● Vocabulary and word choice are unclear (dont have to use nothing).
● Sentence structure is simplistic and occasionally confusing due to grammatical issues (facial
recognition is one of the better things about iphones it takes less time and you dont have to use
nothing but your face to open the phone).
● Density and variety of severe errors (punctuation, capitalization, spelling, and sentence
formation) demonstrate a lack of command of standard English conventions.
● Tone and voice are inappropriate for an academic essay.
● Brevity with errors demonstrates lack of command of language skills.

38 Florida Department of Education

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

Sample 11 (S‑11) Student Response Score Point Copied (page 1 of 3)

I think facial recognition technology is harmful. Your face isn’t the only
characteristic you can use as a password. People like using biometrics for security

because they’re easy. They’re also usually very secure. According to Kathryn
Hulick in “Some Devices Recognize Your Face. Is That a Good Thing?” she
says in source 1 that “It’s hard to fake another person’s body parts. But it’s not
impossible.” And the face may be one of the easiest body parts to copy. Once a
biometric password has been stolen, you can’t easily change it. You can’t get a
new face!

First, it took three years, 8 million faces and more than 8 billion data points
to develop the technology, which can identify a face with near perfect accuracy.
Facial‑recognition technology is already common, used in everything from photo
apps that sort pictures of people to unlocking an iPhone to law‑enforcement
agencies searching databases of driver’s license photos. Facial‑recognition
technology functions much like fingerprinting – each face has its own unique
signature, and companies teach machines to recognize and match people’s
unique features.

The second reason facial recognition is harmful is that the technology is so

common that it can identify people who are jaywalking and display their photos on
public digital billboards. According to source 2 “As facial recognition technology
grows, so does wariness about privacy.” By Rachel Lerman, “But what it can do is
tell if two faces are the same person.”

On the other hand, nothing is more personal than your face. Most forms
of tracking target the technology you use. Cookies on your computer. Digital
fingerprint your browser leaves behind. GPS on your smartphone. Facial
recognition, sometimes called faceprinting, is used by major technology
companies around the globe.

In conclusion, technology is becoming so sophisticated that Facebook can

recognize people in photos and videos even if their faces are obscured, picking
up clues from posture and body shape. But proper regulation could prevent that,
and there’s reason to be optimistic. And with that, privacy advocates wonder if
people fully realize how often their faces are being scanned, and advocates and
the industry alike question where the line is between the benefits to the public and
the cost to privacy. Some people probably won’t worry about all that. It’s just too
cool to be able to unlock a device at a glance.

This sample response has been purposefully constructed in order to illustrate multiple methods
of copying text. It is important to note that some of the copied examples do not contain the
same techniques; however, all of the techniques are considered copy. For this reason, it is
recommended that educators/parents/students examine the copied responses at all grade levels.

Florida Department of Education 39

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

S‑11 Score Point Copied (page 2 of 3)

This text can be found within this Sampler document.

40 Florida Department of Education

 Grade 8 2022 B.E.S.T. Writing

S‑11 Annotation Score Point Copied (page 3 of 3)

Copied
● The response consists primarily of copied text and does not contain sufficient original writing
to demonstrate understanding of the source materials or task. This results in condition code
“G” for “Copied,” which becomes an earned 0. A position is constructed in the first paragraph
(I think facial recognition technology is harmful) by adding words (I think) to language
directly from the prompt (facial recognition technology is harmful). The remainder of the
first paragraph is copied from source 1. The next two paragraphs are copied from source two,
the third body paragraph is copied from source three, and the conclusion is copied from all
three sources, but without original writing to extend or support the statements copied from the
sources, the rubric cannot be applied.
● The second body paragraph attempts to make an original statement but, like in the
introduction, is just combining prompt language (facial recognition is harmful) with a few
added words (reason . . . is that), and does not demonstrate any additional understanding of
source material or task. Transitions (e.g., First; The second; According to; On the other hand;
In conclusion) and citations (e.g., Kathryn Hulick in “Some Devices Recognize Your Face. Is
That a Good Thing?” she says in source 1; source 2 “As facial recognition technology grows,
so does wariness about privacy.” By Rachel Lerman) are present, but these additions do not
extend or support the statements copied from the sources.

Florida Department of Education 41