12 Angry Pigs

By Wade Bradford

12 Members of the Jury Little Boy Blue Judge Bailiff Wolf Little Red
Riding
Hood
12 Chairs 4 Long Tables Large Pizza Box Big Bucket Clipboard Paper &
Pen
Setting: A table and twelve chairs are all that is needed to establish the jury's room.

The pigs walk to a table. They walk around, shy and uncomfortable at first. You will give your cues when
you arrive and look for your seat

PIG #1: (Fanning him/herself.) Boy, I tell you, it’s hot.

PIG #2: I thought it was hot in the courtroom, but this room is like an oven.

PIG #3: Do I smell bacon? Oh wait – that’s just me. (PIGS 1 2 3, speak about the heat= together)

PIG #4: So what are we supposed to do? (Pig #4 will get on the others’ nerves each time, so they can
frown !)

PIG #5: Weren’t you listening to the judge? We vote.

PIG #4: Vote?

PIG #5: We decide whether or not that Wolf is guilty or not guilty. (do not forget to look at the speaking
pig)

PIG #6: He looks guilty to me.

PIG #7: Me too.

PIG #8: What do you mean he looks guilty?

PIG #9: Did you see those teeth? (exaggerate)

PIG #10: Those wolves have sharp teeth. (nodding assent)

PIG #11: The better to gobble you up! Right? Am I right? (nodding assent)

PIG #12: But the wolf isn’t on trial for biting someone. The trial is about him blowing down those two
houses.

PIG #4: I thought there were three houses.

PIG #6: Only two houses got knocked down. (do not hesitate to show 2 with fingers to explain)

PIG #5: (To #4) Don’t you listen? (getting fed up with pig# 4)

PIG #3: He huffed and puffed and blew down the houses of those innocent little pigs.

PIG #11: Those poor swine. (pitiful)

PIG #6: Why those two little pigs are lucky to be alive!
PIG #10: I tell you, those wolves are dangerous!

PIG #2: I wish it wasn’t so hot in here. Isn’t there a fan or something? (meaning, he has been very hot since
the beginning= fanning, taking off a jacket ?)

PIG #7: We should get the Big Bad Wolf in here to huff and puff and blow us a cool breeze!

(The other pigs laugh, and Some may mime « blowing »)

PIG #1: All right, let’s get down to business. Now, since I am the foreman—

PIG #7: Don’t you mean forepig?

PIG #4: What’s a foreman? (*all pigs could look at him., fed up with his obvious questions.)

PIG #1: It means that I am the spokesperson of the jury here. When we go back into court, I’ll be the one
doing the talking.

PIG #3: So that makes you the head hog?

PIG #1: No, but I do get to read the verdict.

PIG #4: Oh. What’s a verdict? *

PIG #1: It’s the decision that we make as a jury.

PIG #4: Oh. What’s a jury? *

PIG #5: (Not happy being next to #4) Can I change seats with somebody?

PIG #12: Can we just get on with this?

PIG #1: Very well. We have heard the trial. Now we need to determine whether the Big Bad Wolf is guilty
or not guilty. (standing to get the votes)

PIG #8: I don’t think we should call him “big bad.” He hasn’t been convicted yet.

PIG #1: All right, just “wolf” then.

PIG #5: So let’s vote.(can show some impatience)

PIG #1: All those who believe the wolf is guilty say “oink.”

ALL EXCEPT #8: OINK! (ALL LOOK AT # 8)

PIG #1: Anyone else?

PIG #8: Not oinking.

PIG #7: What’s that?

PIG #8: I’m not oinking because I’m voting not guilty.

Everyone else groans.

PIG #3: You think that Big Bad Wolf is innocent? (looks very surprised)
PIG #8: Well, I haven’t made up my mind yet. There have been so many stories about wolves doing terrible
things. Maybe we’ve paid more attention to those fairy tales, and not enough attention to the evidence?

PIG #4: What’s evidence? *

PIG #5: Did you sleep through the trial? Evidence is the stuff that proves whether or not somebody is guilty!

PIG #8: And there should be enough evidence (insist on these words) to convince us all of the wolf’s guilt
beyond a reasonable doubt ?

PIG #3: There’s plenty of evidence!

PIG #8: Well, I’d like to hear what all of you think. (showing other pigs)

PIG #1: Okay, that sounds fine. Let’s take turns and explain to our fellow pig why we think the wolf is
guilty. Why don’t you go first?

PIG #2: Me? Oh, well, I guess I just think he looks awful scary. I can just picture him huffing and puffing
and blowing down those houses.

PIG #8: But you didn’t see him do it.

PIG #3: But you didn’t see him not do it.

PIG #9: (Standing up for #8) But you didn’t see him not not do it.

PIG #3: Huh? Look, the facts of the case are this: (Looks at notes.) These three little pigs, they decided to
build their houses . One pig built a house out of straw. The other built a house out of sticks, and the other
built a house out of brick. This wolf comes along, pretending to be selling cookies or something, and when
the pig won’t open up the door – WHOOSH! Down goes the house of straw. The little pig runs to the next
house made out of sticks. The wolf follows and WHOOSH – down goes house number two! Clear case of
destruction of property. And it’s a good thing their brother pig made a house out of bricks, because it was
strong enough to protect them from being eaten up by that evil wolf!

PIG #1: Thank you for sharing. (To #4) What about you?

PIG #4: Me? Oh I guess since everyone else thinks he’s guilty he must be.

PIG #8: You shouldn’t just agree with someone just because that’s what a person wants.

PIG #4: Hey, you’re right. I agree with you!

PIG #3: I don’t want you to agree with him.

PIG #4: Okay.

PIG #5: I believe the wolf is guilty because there was an eye witness. A local village boy saw the whole
crime take place. And since I’m sure that local village boy wouldn’t lie, I am certain that the wolf must be
guilty. (Little Boy Blue skips across the stage.)

PIG #6: There’s the little fella now! (showing the little boy)

LITTLE BOY BLUE: Hi Piggies! I’m off to guard my flock of sheep! (with a stick and a cap)

PIG #7: What a nice young man. That’s why I voted to convict that big bad wolf!
PIG #12: Me too. Everything points to the wolf as a criminal. Who else could have done it?

PIG #9: I am afraid that seems to be the only explanation, unless your snout smells something we don’t.

PIG #10: Besides, he’s a wolf. If he’s not guilty of this crime, I’m sure he’s guilty of something.

PIG #9: You shouldn’t say that. It’s not nice.

PIG #11: Look, nice or not, the facts clearly show that our wolf friend is guilty. But he sure tried to act all
innocent.

PIG #3: Yeah, did you see him wearing that sheep’s clothing during the trial? Well, I saw right through that!

PIG #12: Well, I thought Little Boy Blue’s testimony was convincing. But more than anything, I just didn’t
trust that wolf. He claimed that he was a Wolf Scout, selling Wolf Scout Cookies door to door. But there’s
no such thing as a Wolf Scout!

PIG #9: Oh but there is. There are all sorts of scouts. And they are nice sorts of folks. Say, maybe I voted
guilty too quickly.

PIG #3: What do you mean?! (To #8:) Look “Mr. No Oink,”, I want to know why you voted not guilty.
You’re keeping us cooped up in here like chickens, when we should be at home, rolling around in mud like
pigs!

PIG #7: And if the wolf didn’t demolish those houses, then who did?

PIG #8: I’ve been wondering about that myself. Why would a wolf want to knock down a pig’s house to
begin with?

PIG #12: Well, he wanted to eat.

PIG #11: So he blew the house down so that he could gobble up the first little pig. (pig#11 should say his
cue as the continuation of pig#12)

PIG #8: But why wouldn’t he just wait for the pig to leave his straw house and then grab him? Why spend
all of that energy blowing down the house?

PIG #5: He couldn’t wait. He was too hungry.

PIG #8: If he was too hungry, then why didn’t he just eat the cookies he was selling?

PIG #10: Because wolves don’t eat cookies!

PIG #4: Yeah!

PIG #10: they eat pork chops!

PIG #4: Yeah!

PIG #10: And ham hocks!

PIG #4: Yeah!

PIG #10: (To #4) And stop agreeing with everything I say.

PIG #4: Yeah!

PIG #2: All this talk about food is making me hungry.

PIG #7: Me too!

PIG #1: I wish we had some lunch or something.

LITTLE BOY BLUE: (Entering, carrying a bucket.) Yoohoo! Piggies! It’s dinner time! Want some pig
food?

PIGS: Yes please!

LITTLE BOY BLUE: Come and get it!

LITTLE BOY BLUE: Ha ha! I was just joking. It’s empty. (joking)

PIG #3: Ha, well, you sure fooled us, young man. (laughing)

PIG #1: Now run along, little Boy Blue. We pigs have work to do. (getting other pigs back to work)

PIG #8: Now as I was saying, I don’t think the wolf huffed and puffed at all, since when do wolves blow air
with the force of a hurricane?

PIG #9: That’s a very good point. I watched a documentary on wolves, and it didn’t mention a thing about
huffing or puffing.

PIG #8: Which reminds me of something else the defense forgot to mention.

PIG #12: What’s that?

PIG #8: (Calls to a Bailiff, who could be dressed as a duck or some other animal.) Oh Bailiff, we’d like to
examine a piece of evidence.

BAILIFF: Which one?

PIG #8: The wolf’s pack, please.

BAILIFF: Just a moment.

PIG #8: Thank you, Bailiff.

PIG #4: What’s a bailiff? *

PIG #8: He’s like a policeman for the courtroom. Throughout the trial process, he keeps things in order.

PIG #7: Order? I’d like to order a large extra cheese pizza. Hold the pepperoni.

PIG #5: Not that kind of order!

PIG #2: Gee, I’m awful hungry.

Little Boy Blue enters, carrying a pizza box.

LITTLE BOY BLUE: Free cheese pizza! Fresh from the oven! Absolutely delicious! Who wants a slice?

PIGS: Me! Me! I do! I do!

LITTLE BOY BLUE: Ha, ha! Fooled you again! (joking and leaving)
PIG #2: Say, that’s not very nice.

PIG #6: Little Boy Blue, that joke is not funny anymore.

PIG #1: We’re trying to work here.

Little Boy Blue leaves. The bailiff enters.

BAILIFF: Here’s the wolf’s pack. (Hands the pigs the pack.)

PIG #8: Let’s see. (Takes out items from the pack.) Here are the wolf scout cookies. And his wolf scout
badge.

PIG #3: That doesn’t prove anything.

PIG #8: What about this? (Pulls out an injection/syringe.)

PIG#3: So what?

PIG #8: How could the so-called Big Bad Wolf huff and puff because he took dope!

Everyone gasps at this realization.

PIG #2: Oh my goodness.

PIG #10: He probably stole it. Wolves will do that.

PIG #9: Not all wolves are like that and you know it. I think we should have another vote.

PIG #1: Very well. Let’s go around the table. All those who think the defendant is guilty say oink. I’ll go
first. I say “oink.”

PIG #2: Uh, oink.

PIG #3: Oink!

PIG #4: Not oinking.

PIG #5: Oh, what do you know? I still say “oink!”

PIG #6: Not oinking.

PIG #7: Oink.

PIG #8: Not oinking.

PIG #9: Not oinking.

PIG #10: Oink.

PIG #11: Oink.

PIG #12: Not oinking.

PIG #1: That’s seven oinks, and five not oinking.

PIG #3: (getting angry) You piggies call yourself a jury? You wanna let that Big Bad Wolf go free? What’s
wrong with you? (He points to the other pigs.) This little piggy is forgetful. And this little piggy is regretful.
This little piggy’s brain went to the market. And this little piggy should have stayed home. And this little
piggy (points to Pig #8)… This little piggy went went wee-wee-wee all over the justice system!

PIG #8: (with calm and pause)But there’s reasonable doubt. We don’t have enough evidence—

PIG #3: (angry) There’s a witness. The boy saw everything. And he heard that Big Bad Wolf say, “Little
Pig, Little Pig, let me in. Or I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down!” What more proof do you
need to convict this canine? There was a reliable witness!

Little Boy Blue enters with the bucket again.

LITTLE BOY BLUE: Pig slop! Pizza! Pig slop and pizza! Come and get it!

PIG #3: Get out of here, kid we know you’re trying to trick us!

He and the other pigs gasp at this realization.

PIG #8: I guess that means your witness isn’t so reliable.

PIG #1: I’m changing my vote to not guilty.

PIG #2: Me too. That kid is a liar!

PIG #5: Looks like there’s reasonable doubt. I change my vote too.

PIG #12: Maybe we were wrong about this wolf.

PIG #10: I knew he was innocent all along.

PIG #1: Raise your hand if you vote not guilty.

Everyone but #3 raises their hand.

PIG #3: He’s guilty.

PIG #8: NO he’s not.

PIG #3: Yes he is.

PIG #8: No he’s not.

PIG #3: Yes he is.

PIG #8: Isn’t.

PIG #3: Is!

PIG #8: Prove it!

PIG #3: Why can’t you pigs see things the way I do?! (He cries into his hands.) I paid the village boy but
he fooled me ! I vote not guilty!

PIG #8: (To #1) Forepig, I think we’re ready.

The bailiff brings in the wolf. The jury of pigs stands and forms two lines.
JUDGE: Have you reached a verdict?

PIG #1: We have your honor.

JUDGE: And what is it?

PIG #1: We the jury find the wolf not guilty.

JUDGE: Very [Link] can release the wolf.

The wolf (WEARING A MASK) approaches the jury.

WOLF: Thank you so much. I didn’t think anyone would believe me.

PIG #8: Well, we were just doing our job. I’m sure it’s not always easy when people think you’re a big bad
wolf.

Little Red Riding Hood (wearing a red cape ) rushes in. She points at the wolf.
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD: Police! Arrest that Big Bad Wolf!

WOLF: Here we go again. … END + MUSIC