208 Part III: Three Practice Tests

Section II: Free Response

Total Time: 2 Hours, 15 minutes

Directions: The following prompt is based on the accompanying six sources. This question
requires you to synthesize a variety of sources into a coherent, well-written essay. When you
synthesize sources, you refer to them to develop your position and cite them accurately. Your
argument should be central; the sources should support the argument. Avoid merely summa-
rizing sources. Remember to attribute both direct and indirect references.

Question 1
Suggested Time—40 Minutes

Around the world, different countries have adopted various approaches to structured school calendars.
Some still adhere to the semester method, with a long summer holiday, while others have arranged
their terms to involve more short-term breaks and extended class sessions. Education experts still
debate the effectiveness of each option. Now’s your chance to weigh in.

Carefully read the following six sources, including the introductory information for each source.
Then synthesize and incorporate at least three of the sources into a coherent and well-written essay
in which you develop a position on the structure of school calendars. Your argument should be the
focus of the essay.

Use the sources to inform and strengthen your argument. Avoid merely summarizing the sources.
Indicate clearly which sources you are drawing from, whether through direct quotation, paraphrase,
or summary. You may cite the sources as Source A, Source B, etc., or by using the descriptions in
parentheses.

Source A (California Department of Education)

Source B (Lenilworth)

Source C (Montessori)

Source D (Thomas)

Source E (National Center for Education Statistics)

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Source A
California Department of Education: Year-Round Education Guide

Introduction

Year-round education (YRE) is not a typical alternative way to deliver the

curriculum. It is, however, an alternative way to construct the school calendar. It
may have positive effects on student achievement, especially for disadvantaged
students.
Both traditional and some year-round school calendars can have 180 days
of instruction. The traditional calendar, of course, is divided into nine months
of instruction and three months of vacation during the summer. Year-round
calendars break these long instructional/vacation blocks into shorter units. The
most typical instructional/vacation year-round pattern is called the 60/20 cal-
endar (60 days of instruction followed by 20 days of vacation and the second
most popular is the 45/15). There are numerous other possible patterns, but
they are not common.
Year-round education is also known by the number of “tracks” it uses.
A school using a “single track” year-round calendar is simply changing the
instructional/vacation sequence of the school year; all the students and staff are
in school or vacation at the same time. But a school using a “multitrack” year-
round calendar does something quite different; it divides the entire student
body and staff into different tracks (from four to five). If, for example, a school
is using a four-track system, then at any one time three of the four tracks are
attending school while the fourth is on vacation. The rotation sequence depends
on the year-round calendar being used. In the 60/20 calendar, one track returns
from vacation and one track leaves every 20 days.
The advantage of a multitrack system is that it expands the seating capacity
of a school facility. For example, if a school with a seating capacity of 1,000 uses
a four-track system, it could potentially enroll 1,333 students, increasing its
capacity by 33 percent. In practice, four-track plans typically expand the seating
capacity by about 25 percent.
For many, however, the advantages of multitrack year-round education are
compromised by the disadvantages. For instance, lengthening the school year
beyond 180 days by using on-site classrooms is thwarted by the available-day
limitations of each multitrack year-round education track. And offering man-
datory remediation sessions, when all classrooms are used all year, is likewise a
challenge. A district considering the implementation of multitrack year-round
education must consider both its facility needs and its instructional objectives
and then choose a course that provides each of its students with the maximum
opportunity to learn.
The ability of year-round education to relieve overcrowding has over-
shadowed its effectiveness as an educational strategy. Yet there are, in fact, com-
pelling reasons year-round education should be considered in its single-track
form simply for its educational benefits, especially for at-risk students.

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Source B
The Case Against Year Round Schooling
Principal Mac Lenilworth

While the California Department of Education seems to think the admin-

istrative hassles of multi-track “Year Round Education” are worth it, I want to
make sure parents and students of Curie High School, where I’m the principal,
know that we are committed to a traditional schedule for the foreseeable future.
And I wanted to make sure they know why.
Year-round schooling places undue burdens on kids and parents—different
kids in the same family may wind up on different tracks, which makes sched-
uling vacations or even doctor’s visits more difficult. After-school activities may
face lags in attendance and participation, and certain programs may be totally
inaccessible if a student is in the wrong rotation to be involved. If half the track
team is going to still come to practice when they’re off for a three week spring
break rotation, that’s not much of a break for them either!
Further, the workload for teaching and administrative staff is too likely
to become overwhelming. Rather than keeping all four sections of 10th grade
English in sync, for example, a teacher might be in Quarter 1 with one group,
Quarter 2 with another, and her 3rd group might be out for three weeks in a
row! Teachers may need to give up their offices, which is detrimental to their
planning and respite opportunities. Many of our teachers also depend on a
summer schedule for professional development, or just to spend time with their
own families!
The challenges of maintaining a facility that’s well-run and in excellent
condition are made much more difficult by year round programs. We use the
summer for vital maintenance and repair initiatives that may be too dangerous
to implement while students are present.
This is not the right program for Curie High, and I hope the community
will come out and support adherence to a traditional schedule at the next PTA
and School Board double session.

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Source C
Dr. Maria Montessori, Dr. Montessori’s Own Handbook

FREEDOM

It is necessary for the teacher to guide the child without letting him feel her
presence too much, so that she may be always ready to supply the desired help,
but may never be the obstacle between the child and his experience. A lesson in
the ordinary use of the word cools the child’s enthusiasm for the knowledge of
things, just as it would cool the enthusiasm of adults. To keep alive that enthu-
siasm is the secret of real guidance, and it will not prove a difficult task, provided
that the attitude towards the child’s acts be that of respect, calm and waiting, and
provided that he be left free in his movements and in his experiences.
Then we shall notice that the child has a personality which he is seeking
to expand; he has initiative, he chooses his own work, persists in it, changes it
according to his inner needs; he does not shirk effort, he rather goes in search
of it, and with great joy overcomes obstacles within his capacity. He is sociable
to the extent of wanting to share with every one his successes, his discoveries,
and his little triumphs. There is therefore no need of intervention. “Wait while
observing.” That is the motto for the educator.
Let us wait, and be always ready to share in both the joys and the difficulties
which the child experiences. He himself invites our sympathy, and we should
respond fully and gladly. Let us have endless patience with his slow progress,
and show enthusiasm and gladness at his successes. If we could say: “We are
respectful and courteous in our dealings with children, we treat them as we
should like to be treated ourselves,” we should certainly have mastered a great
educational principle and undoubtedly be setting an example of good education.
What we all desire for ourselves, namely, not to be disturbed in our work,
not to find hindrances to our efforts, to have good friends ready to help us in
times of need, to see them rejoice with us, to be on terms of equality with them,
to be able to confide and trust in them––this is what we need for happy com-
panionship. In the same way children are human beings to whom respect is due,
superior to us by reason of their “innocence” and of the greater possibilities of
their future. What we desire they desire also.
As a rule, however, we do not respect our children. We try to force them
to follow us without regard to their special needs. We are overbearing with
them, and above all, rude; and then we expect them to be submissive and well-
behaved, knowing all the time how strong is their instinct of imitation and how
touching their faith in and admiration of us. They will imitate us in any case.
Let us treat them, therefore, with all the kindness which we would wish to help
to develop in them. And by kindness is not meant caresses. Should we not call
anyone who embraced us at the first time of meeting rude, vulgar and ill-bred?
Kindness consists in interpreting the wishes of others, in conforming one’s self
to them, and sacrificing, if need be, one’s own desire. This is the kindness which
we must show towards children.

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Source D
“A Teacher’s Perspective”

Lorena Thomas

Have you ever tried to pick up where you left off with a group of ten year olds, three months after
the fact? It is a very particular exercise in frustration that I’m all too familiar with. My school district
has recently been considering the adoption of a year-round program, single track, which would give
us 60 days “on” and 20 days “off ”, cutting the typically 10 week summer break down to just 4 weeks
in the process. Notice there are still 4 unstructured weeks there! I say that to forestall the inevitable
parental complaint of “what about our vacation?” I get it—you want you and your kids in a minivan
on the road, pursuing family quality time with the zeal of the Scooby gang in the Mystery Machine.
You can still do that! Surely after a month you’ll be ready to come home and shower without kids
bouncing on hotel room beds while you rinse!

Shorter breaks mean kids remember more. Period. It also gives us more time to find out what stu-
dents are missing and get them caught up—if you’re only doing diagnostics at the beginning of the
semester, you might miss a student falling behind, but if you’re checking in every time they come
back from a few weeks away, you’re able to implement catch-up lessons on the fly, which is more
effective for student retention as well.

It’s also a great use of school space; rather than leaving school buildings empty all summer, we keep
them in more constant use. This also has benefits for low-income families who can’t afford to keep
their kids in summer camps and sometimes rely on lunchtime meal assistance. Working parents
don’t have to use up their own limited vacation and leave time all at once; they can choose when to
coordinate with their kids’ schedules.

And this may be a selfish reason, but financially year-round schooling is easier on teachers as well.
We don’t have to fill up long summer periods without a paycheck by taking on work that may hasten
our rates of burnout, we can enjoy shorter time away and come back refreshed and ready to be our
best selves with your kids!

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Source E
Data Extract: Instructional Days and Hours, Y-RE Policy by State

State Year-Round Instructional Days Instructional

Schooling? in Calendar Hours, Grades 9–12
Alabama No 180 720
Alaska No 180 720
Arkansas Yes 178 1080
California Yes 180 1056
Colorado No 160 900
Connecticut No 180 1032
Florida Yes 180 1032
Georgia No 180 900
Hawaii No 180 990
Illinois Yes 180 990
Iowa Yes 180 990
Kentucky No 170 1062
Louisiana No 177 1062

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Question 2
Suggested Time—40 Minutes

In the passage below from a 1905 letter to the Reverend Joseph J. Twichell, American author Mark
Twain develops an argument that, since pessimism is appropriate for anyone over the age of 48, the
addressee is naive for believing that American citizens are generally honest.

Read the passage carefully. Then, develop an essay in which you analyze the author’s position and
describe his relationship to the recipient of the letter.

DEAR JOE,—I have a Puddn’head maxim:

“When a man is a pessimist before 48 he knows too much; if he is an

optimist after it, he knows too little.”
It is with contentment, therefore, that I reflect that I am better and wiser
than you. Joe, you seem to be dealing in “bulks,” now; the “bulk” of the farmers
and U. S. Senators are “honest.” As regards purchase and sale with money? Who
doubts it? Is that the only measure of honesty? Aren’t there a dozen kinds of
honesty which can’t be measured by the money-standard? Treason is treason—
and there’s more than one form of it; the money-form is but one of them.
When a person is disloyal to any confessed duty, he is plainly and simply dishonest,
and knows it; knows it, and is privately troubled about it and not proud of himself.
Judged by this standard—and who will challenge the validity of it?—there isn’t an
honest man in Connecticut, nor in the Senate, nor anywhere else. I do not even
except myself, this time.
Am I finding fault with you and the rest of the populace? No—I assure you
I am not. For I know the human race’s limitations, and this makes it my duty—
my pleasant duty—to be fair to it. Each person in it is honest in one or several
ways, but no member of it is honest in all the ways required by—by what? By
his own standard. Outside of that, as I look at it, there is no obligation upon
him.
Am I honest? I give you my word of honor (private) I am not. For seven
years I have suppressed a book which my conscience tells me I ought to publish.
I hold it a duty to publish it. There are other difficult duties which I am equal
to, but I am not equal to that one. Yes, even I am dishonest. Not in many ways,
but in some. Forty-one, I think it is. We are certainly all honest in one or several
ways—every man in the world—though I have reason to think I am the only
one whose black-list runs so light. Sometimes I feel lonely enough in this lofty
solitude.
Yes, oh, yes, I am not overlooking the “steady progress from age to age of
the coming of the kingdom of God and righteousness.” “From age to age”—yes,
it describes that giddy gait. I (and the rocks) will not live to see it arrive, but
that is all right—it will arrive, it surely will. But you ought not to be always
ironically apologizing for the Deity. If that thing is going to arrive, it is inferable
that He wants it to arrive; and so it is not quite kind of you, and it hurts me,
to see you flinging sarcasms at the gait of it. And yet it would not be fair in me
not to admit that the sarcasms are deserved. When the Deity wants a thing,

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and after working at it for “ages and ages” can’t show even a shade of progress
toward its accomplishment, we—well, we don’t laugh, but it is only because we
dasn’t. The source of “righteousness”—is in the heart? Yes. And engineered and
directed by the brain? Yes. Well, history and tradition testify that the heart is
just about what it was in the beginning; it has undergone no shade of change.
Its good and evil impulses and their consequences are the same today that they
were in Old Bible times, in Egyptian times, in Greek times, in Middle Age
times, in Twentieth Century times. There has been no change.
Meantime, the brain has undergone no change. It is what it always was.
There are a few good brains and a multitude of poor ones. It was so in Old
Bible times and in all other times—Greek, Roman, Middle Ages and Twentieth
Century. Among the savages—all the savages—the average brain is as com-
petent as the average brain here or elsewhere. I will prove it to you, some time,
if you like. And there are great brains among them, too. I will prove that also, if
you like.
Well, the 19th century made progress—the first progress after “ages and
ages”—colossal progress. In what? Materialities. Prodigious acquisitions were
made in things which add to the comfort of many and make life harder for as
many more. But the addition to righteousness? Is that discoverable? I think not.
The materialities were not invented in the interest of righteousness; that there
is more righteousness in the world because of them than there, was before, is
hardly demonstrable, I think. In Europe and America, there is a vast change
(due to them) in ideals—do you admire it? All Europe and all America, are
feverishly scrambling for money. Money is the supreme ideal—all others take
tenth place with the great bulk of the nations named. Money-lust has always
existed, but not in the history of the world was it ever a craze, a madness, until
your time and mine. This lust has rotted these nations; it has made them hard,
sordid, ungentle, dishonest, oppressive.
Did England rise against the infamy of the Boer war? No—rose in favor of
it. Did America rise against the infamy of the Phillipine war? No—rose in favor
of it. Did Russia rise against the infamy of the present war? No—sat still and
said nothing. Has the Kingdom of God advanced in Russia since the beginning
of time?
Or in Europe and America, considering the vast backward step of the
money-lust? Or anywhere else? If there has been any progress toward righ-
teousness since the early days of Creation—which, in my ineradicable honesty, I
am obliged to doubt—I think we must confine it to ten per cent of the popula-
tions of Christendom, (but leaving, Russia, Spain and South America entirely
out.) This gives us 320,000,000 to draw the ten per cent from. That is to say,
32,000,000 have advanced toward righteousness and the Kingdom of God since
the “ages and ages” have been flying along, the Deity sitting up there admiring.
Well, you see it leaves 1,200,000,000 out of the race. They stand just where they
have always stood; there has been no change.
N. B. No charge for these informations. Do come down soon, Joe.

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Question 3
Suggested Time—40 Minutes

The passage below is an excerpt from the 1932 essay “In Praise of Idleness,” by Bertrand Russell.
Read the passage carefully. Then write an essay in which you develop a position on Russell’s
argument that “there is far too much work done in the world, immense harm is caused by the
belief that work is virtuous …” Drawing from your own reading, experience, and observations,
develop a clear argument defending, debating, or qualifying Russell’s opinion. Use appropriate,
specific evidence to illustrate and develop your position.

“Like most of my generation, I was brought up on the saying “Satan

finds some mischief still for idle hands to do.” Being a highly virtuous child,
I believed all that I was told and acquired a conscience which has kept me
working hard down to the present moment. But although my conscience has
controlled my actions, my opinions have undergone a revolution. I think that
there is far too much work done in the world, that immense harm is caused by
the belief that work is virtuous…” Bertrand Russell, “In Praise of Idleness”

In his 1932 essay “In Praise of Idleness,” Bertrand Russell questions the idea that work and
productivity are inherently virtuous, and argues that society’s goal should be to allow its citizens
the maximum amount of liberty to pursue the things that bring them happiness. Drawing from
your own reading, experience, and observations, develop a clear argument defending, debating, or
qualifying Russell’s position.

STOP!
IF YOU FINISH BEFORE THE TIME IS UP,
YOU MAY CHECK YOUR WORK IN THIS SECTION ONLY.

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answers practice test

Section II: Free Response

Question 1

High-Scoring Sample Essay

No single educational policy is ever going to work for all schools in a given district, let alone all the
schools in the country! Even so, some schools have been considering adopting a different school
calendar than the American norm (which involves school from Labor Day to Memorial Day, with
a winter break in December and January. There are reasons to approve and dismiss this plan, which
we should tackle categorically.

First there’s the argument put forth by schools—that year-round schooling provides greater con-
tinuity of learning, prevents burnout for both students and staff, and makes most efficient use of
school facilities, and even has some additional benefits for at-risk families (Sources A and D). You
could also argue that it upholds Montessori values of more effectively letting children find real world
inspiration to keep them learning, by letting them have experiential learning more frequently (Source
C). These are some compelling arguments, especially for a school board to consider, but they fail to
take into account how students react to the idea of going to school all year.

For their part, students probably initially react to this idea with dread—as do some principals, who
suggest it makes after school or extra-curriculars harder to maintain and cause difficulties for multi-
child families. We can’t help it—once you’re used to the idea of being free from June to August, it’s
hard to understand any other way. Even if, as students must realize, they are actually getting the
same amount of school days (180 days, in most states, according to Source E), but distributed with
more frequent 3 week breaks. Imagine a 3 week break every 3 months! You could still travel, and go
to camp, and sleep late, and overdose on cartoons, but in smaller installments, more often!

Parents are the final group to convince, and for them many concerns are logistical. Maybe the pros
include access to less exhausted teachers, but the cons include the difficulty of schedule time off
for the whole family. If parents are low income, they may have a harder time lining up intermittent
childcare if they can’t send their kids to the kinds of programs that are available only in long blocks
of summer. But parents should also be sympathetic to what teacher Lorena Thomas said about year
round school: “If you’re checking in every time they come back . . . You’re able to implement catch-
up lessons on the fly, which are more effective for student retention.”

So there you have it—if Year Round school makes sense for a community, it should be adopted.
There aren’t any arguments that hold up about whether it works, only whether it’s necessary. Parents

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and administrators should keep in mind how tangible retention benefits are, and make the logistics
work however they can.

Reader Response for the High-Scoring Sample Essay

This essay effectively advances a qualified argument that year-round schooling may have benefits for
specific communities, but should be implemented based on community needs rather than financial
or logistical concerns. The student chose to organize the essay by examining the needs of each stake-
holder in turn—first school administrators, then students, then parents. The writer also appropriately
incorporates her own perspective about long summer breaks. The student demonstrates effective
strategies by incorporating the sources in relationship to one another, not merely summarizing or
making reference to them. For instance, the student notices commonalities between Sources A and
D and extends her reasoning with the more philosophical Source C. The student also notes some
weaknesses in the arguments proposed by administrative or school-centered sources, by citing student
concerns and parent priorities. Synthesis of other sources is more implicit than explicitly quoted, but
still combines the author’s own perspective with that of the teachers and students represented in the
sources. Although the student’s prose is somewhat informal and contains various flaws, the essay is
concise and easy to follow for a reader.

Middle-Scoring Sample Essay

As the great teaching philosopher Dr. Maria Montessori once said, “What we all desire for our-
selves, namely, not to be disturbed in our work, not to find hindrances to our efforts.” It may not
sound like it, but summer vacation can actually be a hindrance to many students! Yes, we all like
to be free from school and get to stay up late and sleep in, but consider how much harder we have
to work—and how hard teachers have to work (Source D). According to Ms. Thomas, “Shorter
breaks means kids remember more.” If our work is to learn as much as we can, even breaks should
be designed to help us do that.

The State of California has developed guidelines that should be useful to all schools that want to
consider Year Round education—typically this means 60 days of school and 20 days of vacation
(Source A). Some schools even have multiple tracks to make the most of resources like buildings,
classrooms and teacher energy level. It’s not just about facilities, though, it’s also better for kids to
learn from, sometimes. It’s also good because they can still get lunch at school! Personally I prefer
school lunch in the summer because I don’t even have to think about what to get.

In conclusion, there are pluses and minuses to year round school that teachers should remember,
and kids shouldn’t get so upset about it. If it happens at your school, there are good things about it
that you can focus on. You may thank your principal later.

Reader Response for the Middle-Scoring Sample Essay

This essay adequately takes a stance on year-round education, centers a student perspective, and
also explains the logistics of implementing the year-round format for a school. The essay responds
to the prompt appropriately, although briefly, by identifying key ideas and engaging with them. (for
example, Source C, which presents an educational philosophy, and Source D, which contains the
views of teachers) The writer responds with the student’s own perspective (“If our work is to learn

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as much as we can, even breaks should be designed to help us do that”). The development of the
writer’s reasoning and evidence could be stronger, for example, the use of “I prefer school lunch” is
not as persuasive as the previous example, which cited the fact that lower income families can’t afford
lunches. The essay concludes by addressing students directly, which clarifies the writer’s perspective.
The writer could have done more to indicate his audience earlier in the essay, because it wasn’t clear
if he was speaking to administrators or students. The writer’s sentence-level control is largely suc-
cessful but could be more polished and ambitious. The prose is generally clear, and the argument is
sustained for the duration of the essay.

Low-Scoring Sample Essay

The important thing to remember about school calendars is that kids like routine and they don’t like
new things. Schools shouldn’t institute new plans without thinking first what will happen to the kids,
and then how will it affect them. If I woke up tomorrow and had to go to school all year around I
would wonder why the school did it and not like it at all because I like to go away to Camp Sum-
mersides, and you can’t do that unless you go for the whole summer. I mean you can but it’s less fun
and different people are there for the shorter time. Think about the holidays too. Some states do this
but lots of states don’t. That’s why we shouldn’t do it either, it shows schools don’t think about kids.

Reader Response for the Low-Scoring Sample Essay

This essay fails to produce meaningful analysis or synthesis of the sources provided, though it does
demonstrate the author’s perspective on year-round schooling and takes an opinionated stance. The
writer didn’t make references to sources or support her opinion with reasoning or evidence, and
includes a number of irrelevant statements that do not respond to the prompt appropriately (for
example, the digression about Camp Summersides, or “Think about the holidays too”). Perhaps the
writer ran out of time or struggled to connect with the prompt, but she could have accomplished
more with an outline that reflected source use instead of this incomplete fragment. The language
is simplistic, and contains errors like run-on sentences. The sentence-level prose does not show an
ability to write effectively for an audience.

Question 2

High-Scoring Sample Essay

This 1905 letter from American author Mark Twain to the Reverend J.H. Twichell quickly establishes
a striking juxtaposition between a light, affectionate tone towards its recipient and a bleak attitude
towards its topic. Despite the fact that Twain’s letter comes as a disagreement with a position Twichell
has previously taken, it’s clear from the outset that the two men are close friends. Twain opens his
argument with what he refers to as “a Pudd’nhead maxim”—a reference to a line spoken by the title
character of his novel Puddn’head Wilson—implying the Twichell was familiar with Twain’s body of
work and would have understood the reference. As the letter continues, Twain—ever the comedic
writer—pokes gentle fun at Twichell, concluding the letter with the ironically generous statement
“N.B. No charge for these informations.” Twain appears to apply the maxim he uses to frame the
letter, “When a man is a pessimist before 48 he knows too much; if he is an optimist after it he
knows too little,” to insult Twichell’s intelligence (“It is with contentment, therefore, that I reflect

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that I am better and wiser than you.”) However, this insult is facetious. Mark Twain was born in
the mid 1830s, and by the time of this letter both he and Twichell would have been nearly 70—far
older than the age of 48, and therefore pessimistic. If anything, Twain is accusing his friend of being
a dreamer, or overly inclined to see the good in others and in society.

Twain reserves harsher criticism for the honesty of members of the Senate, as well as ordinary citizens
whose desires to be honest are complicated by lust for money and material progress. “When a person
is disloyal to any confessed duty, he is plainly and simply dishonest, and knows it...” Twain writes.
“Judged by this standard—and who will challenge the validity of it?—there isn’t an honest man in
Connecticut, nor in the Senate, nor anywhere else. I do not even except myself...” Twain goes on to
argue that failure to fulfill any aspect of one’s duty, in case withholding a book he knows he ought
to publish, as a kind of dishonesty, and employs a rhetorical style of asking questions, as if he were
having a philosophical debate or even a Socratic dialogue in the same room as Twichell, as opposed
to carrying on a written correspondence. “Joe, you seem to be dealing in ‘bulks’, now; the ‘bulk’ of
the farmers and U.S. Senators are ‘honest,’” he writes, “As regards purchase and sale with money?
Who doubts it? Is that the only measure of honesty? Aren’t there a dozen kinds of honesty which
can’t be measured by the money-standard?” This rhetorical structure creates the premise of a philo-
sophical debate, as opposed to a mere exchange of viewpoints, and invites Twichell to extrapolate on
the larger societal pulls that cause the decline of fundamental honesty among men and politicians.

To make his own position on this clear, Twain uses repetition of parts of the phrase “steady progress
from age to age of the coming of the kingdom of God and righteousness.” The words “age to age,”
or some variation upon them, appear 3 times in the letter, as a refrain and always in reference to
the unstoppable advance of industrial progress and the societal obsession with getting rich it yields.
“Money-lust has always existed,” he clarifies, “but not in the history of the world was it ever a craze,
a madness, until your time and mine.” By repeating the phrase “age to age” over the course of the
letter, Twain uses dramatic rhetoric to create a kind of drumbeat of dread, and instills in the reader
the feeling of being unable to escape progress, even if its results are just as oppressive as they are
innovative.

Reader Response for the High-Scoring Sample Essay

This essay effectively analyzes the rhetorical techniques present in the work, including the contrast
between content and tone, the context of many of Twain’s references, his teasing insults for his
friend, and his critical take on members of the Senate. The writer articulates the distinctions between
Twain’s ideas and his sarcastic or “facetious” choice of rhetoric. It presents a clear introduction to
frame the circumstances of the letter, followed by a paragraph that examines the way Twain writes
to his friend. The third paragraph studies Twain’s attitude toward the Senate, not only providing
examples, but analyzing them in a relevant, insightful way. The writer also identifies the refrain of
“age to age” and how that factors into the argument Twain is ultimately talking about the inevitability
of progress. The essay successfully showcases the student’s own interpretation with a thoughtful
analysis of Twain’s rhetoric.

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Middle-Scoring Sample Essay

In this letter, Mark Twain responds to an argument he’s having with the Reverend J.H. Twichell,
who argues that politicians are honest. In responding “I reflect that I am better and wiser than
you,” Twain is adopting a bombastic rhetoric in order to underscore the vast number of factors
Twichell has simplified or failed to take into account altogether in his position that “the ‘bulk’ of
the farmers and U.S. Senators are honest...as regards purchase and sale with money. For example,
Twain argues, “Treason is treason—and there’s more than one form of it; the money-form is but
one of them.” When industry progress causes men to take value away from being men of their
word and put value towards being materially successful, they open themselves up to corruption
and the potential to betray their friends, family and even country.

Twain knows that in order for readers to agree with him that they are open to such corruption, he
needs to make his tone less lecture-like and more conversation. “Am I honest? I give you my word
of honor (private) I am not,” he writes, employing empathetic rhetoric in an attempt to appeal to
the ethos of the reader. This tactic, along with the little pockets of humor he intersperses in the
text, helps soften the otherwise bleak attitude of men’s ability to be honest in an age of progress and
lust for wealth.

Reader Response for the Middle-Scoring Sample Essay

The writer has identified some important rhetorical techniques present in the text, but has misunder-
stood or omitted several critical examples of others—for example, interpreting Twain’s “I reflect that
I am better and wiser than you” as bombast and not sarcasm. The writer misinterprets the purpose
of the text when discussing Twain’s intention for readers—this is a letter, not a public document.
What the writer calls Twain’s rhetoric of empathy is not an entirely accurate reading of Twain’s tone.
The writer’s mention of the use of humor as a rhetorical tool is an interesting point, but the writer
did not fully develop the argument or provide any specific examples of Twain’s perception of men’s
bleak attitude or potential for corruption. The final paragraph begins with an assumption about
what Twain knows about readers—more could have been accomplished by analyzing the effect of
Twain’s argument rather than speculating about his intentions. The response does manage to convey
the student’s ideas even if it is insufficiently developed.

Low-Scoring Sample Essay

While Mark Twain’s friend argues that politicians and people in general have become more
honest than they used to be, Twain writes in this letter that people have always been liars and they
haven’t changed even though they have so much technology and industry helping to make the
society richer and develop new jobs. Twain also argues that people naturally get more pessimistic
as they get older, and therefore they are inclined to lie more as they do not value the honor of
being a man of their word the way they used to when they were younger. Twain thinks his friend
is stupid and naive for believing otherwise and he argues that there is no point in furthering social
problems to help people be honest and work together because society has changed so much but
still at heart they are all liars who will always prioritize their own interests over the interests of the
group.

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Reader Response for the Low-Scoring Sample Essay

This writer has retained some of the basic information from the letter, but has misinterpreted
much of it and is also confused about the meaning of the maxim at the beginning of the passage.
Twain’s opening lines are about knowledge, not necessarily honesty. The writer has not identified
any rhetorical tools used by Twain in this letter, nor has he used any specific passages—instead the
writer used paraphrase and summary to make inferences that are then not sufficiently supported by
the text. The writing is rambling and unclear, and the writer has not made distinctions between his
analysis of the text and the close-reading of the text itself. For example, the last run-on sentence
doesn’t contain support for any of its observations, so it’s hard to know what is the author’s perception
specifically from the text.

Question 3

High-Scoring Sample Essay

According to Aristotle, humans work in order to have leisure. His philosophy states that without the
unpleasantness of hard work, the pleasure of being idle would be meaningless. Indeed, it seems that in
many ways, humans were designed to work often and hard: even when we are given the opportunity
to be idle, we more often than not use our free time to create work of our own. We run triathlons,
break hot dog-eating contest world records, and write thousand page long novels, not because financial
necessity compels us to do so, but because of our basic human drive to see whether it can be done.

When Russell speaks about idleness, he does not speak from the perspective of someone who has
adopted a lifestyle of maximum lifestyle and ease. From a young age, he “.. acquired a conscious
which has kept me working hard, down to the present moment,” he clarifies, “but although my
conscious has controlled my actions, my opinions have undergone a transformation.” This suggests
that his essay “In Praise of Idleness” is less focused on the logistics of being idle and more focused
on the psychological and practical impact hard work might have on a person.

For an example, let’s imagine a person who lives well below the poverty line gets a job in a factory
making hats for $2 per hat. Since his goal is to make as much money as possible and lift himself out
of poverty, he wishes to make as many hats as possible. Yet due to the laws of supply and demand,
the more hats the person makes, the greater the supply of hats will be. As long as the demand for
hats remains the same, the value of each hat will decrease. Karl Marx develops this theory—the
theory of surplus value—in his critique of political economy, stating that the hatmaker’s hard work
paradoxically fuels the cycle that keeps him in poverty, and that he therefore lacks control and power
over the kind of work he does.

Ironically, the best conditions under which to accomplish self-selected, productive work are those in
which the worker has no financial need to do any work at all. In her essay “A Room of One’s Own,”
Virginia Woolf argues that a woman must have money and her own space in order to successfully
become a writer, impressing the key point that the reason why so few women became successful writers
prior to the early 20th century is because of their perceived poverty and lack of power in society.

The social implications of work make sense in the context of Russell’s claim that there is nothing
inherently virtuous about working hard, since so many aspects of working-class employment have
nothing to do with nobleness and everything to do with keeping entry-level workers in a cycle of

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poverty. Yet humans are nearly always driven to work of some kind, whether that work cause financial
gain or otherwise, so perhaps a qualification on Russell’s claim is necessary. A separation of virtuosity
from work comes not from a state of idleness, but rather from the freedom to choose the kind of
work one spends time doing.

Reader Response for the High-Scoring Sample Essay

This essay successfully reflects the writer’s perspective on the value of work and leisure. He begins by
invoking Aristotle, and paraphrasing his philosophy, then following it with his own examples to define
leisure. Then the writer moves toward answering the prompt by analyzing Russell’s self-represented
experience to determine the relevance of his perspective. The writer supports his perspective with
individual examples, Karl Marx, and Virginia Woolf, which sufficiently addresses the prompt by
invoking readings and observations. The essay’s strength lies in the way the author incorporates dif-
ferent perspectives to examine the moral and societal advantages of work, and taking a critical stance
toward the association of work with nobility as opposed to survival. The prose is well-developed and
demonstrates an appropriate control of rhetorical techniques, a sophisticated level of thought, and
a strong grasp of relevant readings and synthesis moves.

Middle-Scoring Sample Essay

Everyone would prefer to be idle instead of working all day. Yet if we lived in a society where no
one was compelled to work in order to benefit the society, our quality of life would drop way down.
If we believe it’s more virtuous for us to be idle and pursue the things that make us happy, we then
need to grant the same liberty towards everyone else in our society. Then the people whose work
increases our happiness during our leisure time will no longer be doing their jobs. The people who
get paid to pave the roads, clean up the parks, sell groceries etc will no longer be there, resulting in
a community that is much more difficult to live in. This is why Russell’s position is elitist—he only
considers this theory for himself, with no regard to how it would impact the community around him.

The importance of work dates back to John Locke’s social contract, which states that all citizens
give up their private freedoms in exchange for the safety and security of living in a society. One of
the freedoms one gives up is a measure of one’s time in the form of work. This is why hard work is
considered virtuous—because it signifies giving up one’s time in order to enhance the good of the
society over the good of the self. Russell’s essay is single-minded and fails to take into account this
aspect of virtuosity in work.

Reader Response for the Middle-Scoring Sample Essay

The writer has closely read the passage in the assignment and has begun to develop an argument
against Russell’s claim, but fails to fully develop her position. The writer begins with generalizations—
“everyone would prefer to be idle …” for example—and uses a slippery-slope argument without spe-
cifically invoking individual scholars or writers to support her perspective. In the second paragraph,
the writer does mention John Locke, and successfully interprets one of his ideas in a relevant way
(“it signifies giving up one’s time in order to enhance the good of the society over the good of the
self.”). The author also introduces a counterargument to respond to Russell’s essay, but doesn’t fully
explain what Russell was arguing or presenting the source for an unfamiliar reader. The writer could
have done more to introduce Russell’s text or could have responded with other outside sources or

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with his own observations in a more thoughtful way. The writer’s use of supporting evidence is thin,
and the prose, while adequate, is not particularly compelling.

Low-Scoring Sample Essay

Bertrand Russell thinks that it’s a mistake that people think work is so great and that they should
consider that maybe the best thing for citizens is to make their own decisions about what they
spend their time doing instead of spending hours and hours a day on their jobs. He thinks that
maybe the real virtue is not in work but in being able to choose how you spend your time, even if
it means doing nothing. Russell has been brought up to believe in the importance of work, so he’s
just now as an adult beginning to questions why we value work so highly over things like imagi-
nation and play. He feels betrayed by the people who taught him the importance of work because
he has wasted so much of his life working in a meaningless job he hates.

Reader Response for the Low-Scoring Sample Essay

This essay does begin by introducing Bertrand Russell’s argument, both his broad main idea and
paraphrasing some of his supportive material as provided in the prompt. However, the writer focuses
on explaining the text without coming up with her own opinion on the material. The author does
not bring in outside sources to comment for or against Russell’s position, and she does not structure
her essay into a clear, organized format. There is no argument being presented by the author, though
she does summarize Russell appropriately. The essay is inadequate to respond to the prompt, and
there is nothing in the prose that might elevate a short submission to a higher score level.

Master the™ AP® English Language & Composition Exam