Carol and Rod were both born overseas, sharing a country of origin where they met and

lived together for some years before marrying and immigrating to Australia. English is their
first language. They have two children who are now adults. Carol and Rod separated after
twenty- five years; however they remain married to one another. Carol completed high
school and obtained an industry qualification. She now works part-time. Rod is university
educated, has a professional qualification and works in highly-remunerated employment.
Throughout the relationship Rod worked overseas at remote locations for extended periods,
returning home periodically. Rod continues to work in this manner, however Carol believes
that he now returns only occasionally as he is concerned about being charged for multiple
breaches of the protection order she has against him. Rod sends Carol his pay slips to show
her how much money he is earning; he never paid child support. Carol believes that Rod
has been mentally unwell for many years, though he’s never sought help or a diagnosis.
Carol believes Rod has not accepted that the marriage is over even after 12 years of
separation; he continues to wear his wedding ring, and tells her and others that they’re still
together.

Carol describes their long relationship as turbulent and dysfunctional and recognises that
Rod’s controlling behaviours began in the early years and escalated after they arrived in
Australia with their infant first child. When the couple were still living overseas and Carol
was pregnant, Rod sought to isolate Carol from her close family and support network by
insisting on buying property some distance away from the town where her many family
members resided. When Carol needed to buy business wear that was often expensive Rod
would monitor her spending. On the advice of a friend, Carol carried a red texta pen so she
could mark the tags as sale price before bringing them home for Rod to scrutinise. Carol
opened a separate bank account of her own for her earnings and made sure the statements
weren’t posted to their address; Rod insisted however that her earnings be exhausted first
on groceries and household expenses before he made a contribution. Once in Australia, as
well as his financially controlling and socially isolating behaviours, Rod became physically
violent towards Carol, often punching and at times strangling her over many years. Rod
would not allow the children to eat meals with him and Carol; he told them he wanted their
mother to himself. Rod also often told the children Carol was mad, and when the children
were adults he announced to them and other of Carol’s family members that she was dying.
At one stage during a separation Rod tried to have Carol declared an unfit mother alleging
alcoholism and mental illness; he subpoenaed her medical records, however was unable to
substantiate his claims. Carol tried to leave the relationship on four occasions before their
final separation. She returned each time because she found it too difficult to care for the
children properly, she did not have adequate financial resources of her own, and Rod would
regularly turn up at the homes of friends or family where she was staying and try to claim
her back.

One evening Rod’s behaviour became so terrifying to Carol that she believed he would kill
her. Rod had pinned their older child up against the wall; Carol retaliated telling him never
to touch the children. For years, Carol had put up with Rod’s violence and abuse for fear
that resistance would only exacerbate his behaviour; but she would not tolerate the
children being harmed. Rod’s response was to force Carol into a chair, strangle her and hold
two knives to her throat. The following day Carol’s neighbour told her that they thought an
animal was being tortured in the garden. Somehow Carol managed to call the police; they
attended quickly and, witnessing the marks on Carol’s neck and Rod’s state, took the
matter seriously. As the police were arriving at the house, Rod took his shirt off and started
drinking spirits from a bottle, though he’d not drunk previously that night. He tried to push
past the police to get at Carol, and when stopped he smashed the glasses on the kitchen
bench. The police handcuffed Rod and detained him elsewhere for the night while an officer
remained and took a statement from Carol. She was extremely concerned that if the police
took action against Rod, he would return the next day and kill her. The police persisted
telling Carol that they must proceed and get a protection order on her behalf against Rod to
ensure her safety. The matter was set down to be dealt with at the Magistrates Court the
following afternoon, however Rod failed to appear and a warrant was issued for his arrest.
The hearing proceeded and a final two-year protection order was made by the court
prohibiting Rod from any form of contact with Carol and allowing Rod only supervised visits
with the children. Carol found the court experience intimidating and unfamiliar: Rod was
represented by a private lawyer; she was required to be in the courtroom with Rod at close
proximity and no screens or other protections were offered. On a positive note the court’s
domestic violence service arranged for her to sit in a separate waiting room before the
hearing.

On the day the first protection order was granted, Rod withdrew hundreds of thousands of
dollars from various joint accounts and a line of credit never previously used, and sent the
money to overseas bank accounts Carol had no knowledge of. Carol does not recall signing
any documentation for the joint line of credit and was astonished and distraught that the
bank would allow it to be drawn down without her authorisation. Rod had on many
occasions promised to financially cripple Carol.

Following the protection order—which Carol says marked their final separation—the children
lived with Carol, and saw their father occasionally under supervision by family members or
friends. Rod did not seek parenting orders from the Family Court to secure this arrangement
or to increase his contact time. Eventually, family and friends told Carol that they could no
longer supervise Rod’s visits with the children because he did not spend the time with the
children; rather he used it as an opportunity to question them about Carol.

Since separation Rod’s abuse of Carol has been constant and menacing, and continues after
12 years. Being out of the country is no bar to Rod’s capacity to abuse Carol. When
overseas Rod rings or texts or emails Carol at least twice daily, and often more frequently.
These communications are chaotic, disturbing and intimidating: they include taunts and
insults; appeals to Carol to return to the marriage with pledges such as I love you, I’m
worried about you, and I miss you; and goading with questions such as: Have I tipped you
over the edge yet? Why are you making me having to kill you? He has sent pictures of dead
children. He also sends Carol postcards, flowers, gifts and grocery deliveries. When in
Australia, Rod has slept in the garden of the property where Carol lives (and owns jointly
with Rod); he has broken into the property, stalked Carol and her friends in the local area,
and twice followed her on overseas trips. On one occasion, knowing he was following her,
Carol drove home quickly and locked herself in the house. Rod tried every door and window
to gain access. While she sat behind the front door so that Rod couldn’t see her, Carol
called the police in whispered tones, again so as not to alert him to her presence; the police
later told Carol that they did not give the call priority because they expected that if she
were genuinely fearful she would be screaming.

Carol has been forced to seek multiple protection orders over the years, and still requires
an order even though she questions how effective they are given Rod’s serial and flagrant
breaches. Due to Rod’s regular periods overseas and generally elusive behaviour, service of
orders has been recurrently problematic, sometimes taking weeks for service to be
effected. Carol has had to apply for substituted service. Rod has also prolonged and
thwarted court proceedings by having his lawyer regularly seek adjournments on work
grounds. Carol has been vigilant in recording Rod’s breaches and regularly reporting them
to the police; however she feels that she may be regarded as an annoyance by some police
officers. Rod has nevertheless been charged and convicted on five occasions for breaches
of protection orders. Each time he has received a fine, which Carol believes has no
deterrent effect due to Rod’s significant income, and the fine amount has reduced over time
despite Rod’s reoffending. At no stage has Rod ever been charged with stalking or
strangulation offences nor have police ever discussed these possibilities with Carol, though
they have mentioned to her that they believe a term of imprisonment is appropriate for a
future breach conviction. Carol believes that imprisonment would make a difference to
Rod’s behaviour especially if he was also required to undertake a perpetrator intervention
program as she feels that this is the best opportunity for his mental ill health to be
addressed.

Carol has done her best to stay healthy and positive despite the history of abuse she
continues to experience. She believes Rod is becoming more dangerous and the fear that
Rod will one day kill her remains real and front of her mind. She avoids social media
because she’s very concerned that it would be another means by which Rod could track
her. She has also given up on developing any intimate relationship as she knows that Rod
would attempt to follow and intimidate her and any partner.

Carol’s financial resources are limited, she earns a modest income, and has no assets of
significant value other than the house property she resides in and owns jointly with Rod.
Carol has for decades serviced the original debt on the property; she feels she can manage
this with her earnings. Rod further mortgaged the property some years ago, and continues
to service that liability. Carol’s preference is to divorce Rod but this would require a property
settlement. Carol knows this process will precipitate the sale of the house property and the
equity will largely be exhausted in paying debts accrued by Rod and yet held in their joint
names.

Carol has had a long engagement with court processes mostly as a self-represented party
attempting to seek protection against Rod’s violence and abuse. Her confidence has grown
over the years, but she remains concerned that she is unable to secure the legal protection
from Rod’s abuse that she needs. On one occasion she received advice from legal aid for a
breach hearing against Rod; but she has always appeared in protection order matters on
her own. She believes that police have mostly taken her complaints seriously, though at
times she has felt that she’s an annoyance due to her frequent reporting of breaches, or
that she’s been disbelieved, for example looking to exploit the process to achieve a
favourable financial outcome for herself. Carol also feels that the Magistrates she has
appeared before have rarely read or fully understood the material setting out the history of
the violence and abuse, and that the penalties for breaches of protection orders are
inconsistent, inadequate and Magistrate specific. Carol’s concerns and fears continue
unabated