Good afternoon everyone, wellcome you all to my presentation.
If you
all have argued with somebody at least once, I believe some of you
may think arguing is bad because it can break your relationships and
make you feel worse.
But let's be realistic, relationships with no arguments are not that good
either, because that's when you know so little about someone that you
can't find anything to disagree with them, right? That means
arguments, when done the right way, are not things that harm your
relationships, but rather chances for us to grow stronger and better
understand one another
There are 3 ways you can follow to have healthy arguments in any kind
of relationship. Those ways include: practicing active listening,
considering when to argue and choosing the right words.
I will walk you through each way with further explainations. And if you
have any questions, I'd be glad to answer them at the end of the
presentation.
So, the very first way that you can use to have healthy arguments is to
practice active listening.
Which means Listening closely to really understand other person’s
perspectives rather than thinking about what you want to say next. Not
only that, try not to stop the other person while they’re speaking, even
if you don't agree with what you hear. Also, you can prove that you are
listening by holding strong eye contact with that person or
paraphrasing what they have just said. And as they have finished
talking, that's when you should start to share your own viewpoints.
That way, you can show them your respect and encourage them to do
the same to you.
Next, to argue more effectively, you should pay attention to when it is
suitable for arguments
- Make sure your basic needs are met before getting into arguments.
When you’re stressed, hungry, or tired, you tend to react more
negatively than normal and you cannot think straight before you
speak. So try to avoid working out conflicts when you just get home
from work or study, before dinner and also before bedtime.
- Aside from that, don’t hesitate to pause arguments when they get too
heated. Once it gets to the point when both sides start cursing and
yelling at each other, you should try to take a break from the conflict
by going somewhere else to refresh your mind, and then, you can get
back to it later when you have cooled down.
Finally, the most important way of the three that you should
definitely follow to argue better is to
Choose the right words
- And by which, I mean you should speak in "I" instead of “You”
phrases. Since starting sentence with “you did this”, “you did that”
as you blame them for their faults will just hurt their ego and urge
them to do the same back to you. Whereas starting what you want to
say with "I feel..." and follow that with an emotion that you are
experiencing, can gently remind them of how their behavior can
negatively affect you. For ex, instead of saying “You never listen to
me!” you can switch to “I feel upset when you don’t listen to me.”
- Not only that, when arguing, avoid using exaggerating words like
“never” and “always”, since saying such words means you ignore all of
the work that the other person did or didn't do, which can make them
feel hurt and unfair because it shows that don’t pay attention to them
at all.
The points I have just mentioned also complete my presentation here.
For now, I’ll summarize all the main points you have gone through. To
have healthy arguments, there are three ways you should follow,
including practicing active listening, considering when to argue and
choosing the right words. And now, if you have any questions, I’d try
my best to answer them.
