EMBEDDED SUGGESTIONS

Two types of NLP embedded suggestions — questions and commands — deserve special attention.

EMBEDDED COMMANDS AND QUESTIONS

NLP Embedded Questions

An NLP embedded questions is an implied questions that is embedded in a larger context — usually
a statement.

For example:

“I wonder what your name is.”

“I’m curious to know how old you are.”
“I don’t know what’s important to you here”
“Whether you’d like to join us is something we haven’t discussed yet.”
"I'm not asking you to offer to take me home, I'm just…"

NLP Embedded Command

An NLP embedded command is simply a command that is embedded in a larger context ;
The Secret of NLP Embedded Commands

Intention
The purpose of an embedded command is to influence the listener and direct their imagination,
motivation, or internal processes while avoiding any impression that you are doing so.

Theory
Common theory treats the mind as having two distinct components: the conscious mind, which
acts largely as a filter against anything illogical or unreasonable, and the subconscious mind,
which largely acts as a recording, imprinting, and pattern-recognition mechanism. The job of the
conscious mind is to screen out ideas, thoughts, and options that do not fit into its' idea of reality.

NLP’s embedded questions and commands work so effectively because, being almost invisible, they
operate for the most part at the unconscious level, and thus they are not likely to cause resistance.

They will be responded-to below the level of awareness. The cumulative effect is to gently lead the
other person in the direction we want them to go. This operates whether the person is consciously
paying attention or not.

So NLP embedded suggestions is an excellent approach to use with people who always seem too
busy to give us their full attention.

Consider the boss who fiddles with paperwork when you’re trying to get him to listen to an idea.
Instead of being frustrated by his behaviour, you might welcome it as an opportunity to embed
suggestions using NLP. His mind is already distracted, you can easily continue talking while
embedding appropriate NLP suggestions that will be responded-to unconsciously.

The net effect will be to give some ‘food for thought’ to be digested unconsciously later on! You might
be pleasantly surprised to hear him voicing your ideas as if he had thought of them himself, or
spontaneously acting on the suggestions you embedded earlier.
Examples of Embedded Commands

“If you don’t wear a jacket you are going to get sick.”

“I am so depressed!”

“I don’t want you to feel guilty about this…”

“I think you’ll be wise if you invest in this property today.”

“My mother used to tell me that the best way to get over a cold is stay in bed and get plenty of rest.”

“If anyone has any questions, I’d appreciate it if you’d wait until after the lecture and come up to talk
to me then.”

As you can see we use embedded suggestions — both questions and commands — all of the time.
They’re so pervasive as to be virtually invisible. Therein lies their power.

This is a good reason for learning with NLP how to use them constructively, to help us communicate
more effectively with others.

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DELIVERY OPTIONS

Making embedded commands work depends on two things - structuring the sentence so as not to
be so obvious that the conscious mind rejects it as being somehow unreasonable, and by "cue-ing"
the subconscious mind to pay extra attention to the command, as it's being spoken.

• Gesturing a certain way during the command

• Using a slightly different tone of voice

• Breaking rapport during the command

• Slightly tilting the head one way during the command

• Looking in one eye during normal speech, switching to the other eye for the command

• Defocusing the eyes during normal speech, focusing directly during the command.

• It's better to suggest that the person "want to do something" rather than suggesting that they
"do something". This will make the motivation seem their own, and they are more likely to
follow it.

• It's better to suggest that the person "begin to feel an emotion" rather than "feel an
emotion". This places no time limit on their mind to act, and thus they will not feel like they
have ever arrived at a negative decision. There's nothing to resist.

• It's better to prime the emotions first before the initial command. For example, you might
suggest "You know, there are times when I begin to feel very generous about things..." before
you suggest
 "I don't know how good would it feel to buy drinks for us, instead I know..."

• It can be counter-productive to issue the same command repeatedly. This will trigger their
defences. Rather, to follow the above example, you might issue reinforcement commands
such as

"You know, like, when you're shopping for something and you want to make an offer to buy it
at a lower price..." and "you might not win, but you know how good it would feel to buy..."

• You can use homophones such as "by, buy, bye" and "cell, sell" to great effect. This makes
the command even more difficult to detect, but the subconscious will only hear the command.

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Set up phrases

"Now you have the opportunity to .."

"Tell me if you can "
"Is there a way you can ?"
"What would happen if ?"
"Look at your future and tell me how ?

I'm wondering if...

I'm wondering if you will stop smoking this afternoon

I’m wondering if that comfortable feeling if your feet will spread up into the rest of your body

I’m wondering if you can pretend you’ve never smoked in your life, and imagine what it is like to go
through a typical day. I never told you to do anything, I was just wondering...

Maybe you'll _____.

Maybe you’ll direct some unusual embedded commands to your friends while you play "Embedded
Command" Cards

Maybe you’ll dream of new ways to say things tonight

Maybe you’ll spot the embedded commands in these sentences

You probably already know…

You probably already know many ways to feel good without smoking. And what do you do in
response to this statement? You might try to think of the things that I say you know, and of course,
you are likely to find them if you think long enough! If I wanted you to really search for those answers I
could say: On a deep level, you probably already know how useful indirect communication can be.

Don't _____ too quickly.

This phrase has the implication that what I suggest will definitely happen anyway, and all I really care
about is when it happens. And if you are resisting me, your internal response may well be: "Oh yeah,
who says I can't do this quickly! I'll show you!” isn't that great? Don’t stop smoking too quickly. Don't
go into a deep trance too quickly, just relax and listen to my voice for a while.
Can you imagine...?
You probably already know that people are more likely to do what they are more familiar with, and that
imagining something is a great way to create familiarity. Can you imagine what you would do on an
airplane if you really enjoyed flying? Can you imagine all the situations where you would use this
language pattern if you practiced it and really knew it?

One can, <name>,_____.

By adding the person's name at the beginning of the embedded command, you will make it much
more powerful. One can, Eve, feel good for no reason at all. One can, Greta, enjoy the experience of
hypnosis without knowing exactly what is going to happen. One can, Joe, let the eyes close
just because it feels good. Who can? ...

One can. We're not talking about you, Joe. You might notice the feelings ... as you ...
You might notice the feelings directs attention to internal body sensations, which is good for hypnotic
inductions. As you provides another opportunity for an indirect suggestion. You might notice the
feelings in your feet, as you relax them completely. You might notice the feelings of comfort as you
begin to relax your whole body.

A person might,<name>, _____.

Say the name close to the second half of the sentence, and it becomes a personal embedded
command. A person might, Sarah, take the lessons from that situation and let go of the old emotions.
A person might, Allen, find some good reasons that make losing weight compelling.

You could _____.

You could, of course you could, you have free will. You could sleep on it tonight, and call me in the
morning. You could let this process of transformation take place without even knowing how it was
happening. Huh? You could just let go and relax. OK? OK. You might want to_____, ... now.
This now is the trickiest part. If you slur it together with the rest of the sentence it just adds an
imperative quality to the embedded command.
If you pause and then say it, it becomes a powerful command all on its own. You might want to close
your eyes now. You might want to let that feeling of comfort move up your arm, ... now.

One might, you know, _____.

One might, and then again one might not, who knows? ... you know!
One might, you know, just relax and let the learning take place on a deep level. One might, you know,
understand how to use this at just the right times.

Maybe you haven't..., yet.

Maybe you haven't, maybe you have, I'm just making an observation, but when that yet comes along,
there's a strong implication that sooner or later you're going to! Maybe you haven’t decided to send
copies of "Embedded Command" Cards for all of your friends ... yet. Who knows? ... There's still
time... It's just an observation.

People can, you know, _____.

I'm just talking about what other people can do, I'm not talking
about you! You know, that you know clause, it seems to imply in an ambiguous fashion that you knew
this already. People can, you know, find ways to make these changes easily and comfortably.

I'm wondering if you'll _____, ... or not.

This or not ending is the greatest way to dodge resistance. If you see
the other person smiling and nodding their head, then don’t bother to add the or not, who needs
it? I'm wondering if you’ll use this language pattern constantly, (pause, what, no enthusiastic
agreement?) ... or not.
You may or may not_____.
You may or may not notice the comfortable sensation in your hands. So you think about the
comfortable sensation in your hands, and if you feel them you think, "Of course I notice them." If
you don't feel them you think, "Maybe I'm just not noticing them”, so you think about it a little more
and pretty soon you're feeling comfortable sensations that you're feeling comfortable sensations that I
said were there all along. You might notice the sensation in ... while you ...You can induce hypnosis by
directing attention to various parts of the body, You might notice the sensations of your shoes on
your feet, the sensation of the chair beneath you, the feeling of the card in your hand. You might
notice the sensations in your hands while you relax and pretend that you can’t move them

What happens when you _____?

In order to answer this question you must imagine what I am suggesting, which is the reason I ask.
Remember: in the area of emotions and feelings, people learn just as well by vividly imagining
experiences as by physically having them. What happens when you just decide you aren’t going to let
him bother you anymore?

Can you really enjoy…?

Can you really enjoy having your eyes get heavy and start to shut? Can you really enjoy going deeper
and deeper into feelings of comfort? Can you really enjoy taking a deep breath and relaxing deeply?
The question isn’t if you can do it, or if you will do it, the question is how much will you enjoy doing it.
Of course, the only way to answer the question is to do it.

Some people …
Who are those some people? The first thing a person does is to check inside to see if they are one of
those people, so give them something you want them to check for.
Some people get feelings of comfort in this office and want to go into trance right away. Some
people have hidden strengths that they discover can help them in situation very much like yours.

You might not have noticed …

You might not have noticed how often you direct other people’s awareness while you are talking to
them. Directing awareness to various parts of the body generally creates relaxation and confusion,
both induce hypnosis, You might not have notice the comfortable sensations of your socks on your
feet. You might not have noticed the way the chair supports you…beneath your legs… beneath your
arms… behind your shoulders…

Try to resist …
Try to resist implies that you will try, but you won’t be able to do it. You can use your voice inflection to
strengthen this implication. Try to resist the sensation that your hands are becoming so relaxed that
they just won’t move. Try to resist, a deepening sensation of relaxation as you breath.

Eventually…
Eventually everything comes to pass. Eventually what I want to direct your attention to will probably
come to pass as well. Eventually you will develop a deep understanding of these difficult events in
your life, and you will find some hidden value in them. Eventually, indirect language patterns will
become second nature to you. Imagine that.

Sometime …
Sometime, somewhere, there will be a person in a situation very much like yours who will take a
deep breath and just let it go. Sometime, you’re going to feel better about this. Sometime you are
going to understand this from a viewpoint where it all make sense. Sometime you might indirectly get
a person to imagine a time when they have the resources you want them to feel.
Sooner or later …
Sooner or later you’ll resolve this present difficulty, and begin to enjoy the simple things in life again.
Sooner or later, you’ll want to close your eyes. Sooner or later, you’re going to be able to look back on
this and laugh about it. Hey, just about everything happens sooner or later.

I could tell you that… but …

I could tell you that …, but I won’t, so you have no reason to resist or take offence at whatever I just
didn’t tell you. I could tell you that this experience will give you more confidence and self-assurance,
but I would rather let you discover that for yourself. I could tell you this is a great way to avoid
resistance, but you probably understand that already.

How would it feel if you … ?

In order to answer this question, you have to imagine what I propose, which is the whole purpose for
asking the question. How would it feel if you felt comfortable around dogs, and you could just go up
and pet one. How would it feel if you had already made this change?

I wouldn’t tell you to _____, because ...

I wouldn’t tell you (here I am telling you anyway), and you can’t disagree with me, becauseI said
upfront I wouldn’t tell you. And I use the magic word because to make another comment, because it
lends authority to what I just said, and it carries attention away from the
embedded command before you consciously recognise it.

Will you …, or …, or …
This is the form of infinite choice, and I’ll cover all the possibilities so you can’t help but do what I say.
And if you get into the habit of doing what I say, sometime I may begin to actually lead you. Will
your hand begin to lift up automatically, or will it relax just where it is, or will you notice certain
sensations in your hand that you can enjoy

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"What's it like to X?" (command tone down)

"...people simply X"

"I wonder if you can X"

"...before you X..."

CHAINING EMBEDDED COMMANDS
Embedded pieces across different sentences

I don't know about YOU, but I FEEL this is very interesting. Some people get too EXCITED ABOUT IT.
Don't you agree?

(finish sentences with downward tone) “Right!!” or “yeah!”

1. Be inviting. Not insisting.

You don’t want to come across as threatening. Pressuring…pushing causes resistance. Be powerful,
not forceful. Use an inviting, suggestive tone to create pull (attraction) rather than push (resistance), so
they’re giving in to something the want to do…not giving into something they don’t want to do.
The goal is to lower resistance. Be attractive, not abrasive. Be inviting, not intimidating. Inspiring, not
insisting.

2. Be confident. Not desperate.

Don’t sound like your begging. Use a downswing, don’t upswing.
Be the magnet, not the jackhammer…and make it easy for them to say “yes” to you.

"If you don't practice this daily, you will bumble and stumble when it comes time for your presentation.
Don't you agree?

"You must take notes while I'm speaking. You will learn so much more. Shall we do that now?

"I don't know when you'll (pause) feel motivated.

"I don't know when you'll "begin" to … feel motivated. … You have to … trust your feelings and …
make that decision.”

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The pattern has six steps and works like this.

1. Make your list: Write down a list of messages that you want your prospect to accept. Things that
you wish you could just come out and say but can't.

2. Detach your message: Develop a story that quotes someone else saying the message you want
communicated. This detaches the statement.

3. Name exposure: Have the person you are quoting use your name. This aligns you closer to your
prospect.

4. Stacking: When possible, stack the detached statement by having others say the same message
within the story. The same basic message coming from multiple (detached) sources.

5. Become the resister: Question the message. When they see that you have already resisted the
message, they will not feel the unconscious need to resist it too. The only difference is that we resist
the message in a far less intense way then they would have.
6. Verdict: Ask your prospect what they think

You know Bob, I personally always liked our economy package best, it cost less and I really thought
that made the most sense. Then again, I remember last year when I was in Arizona at John Mitchell’s
home. John is one of my oldest and most successful clients and he said to me, "Mike I really don't
know why you encourage me to get the economy plan. The Platinum Plan cost less in the long run
and gives my family better coverage. sign us up for that one!"I remember thinking to myself that John
just didn't get it. Then, not a week later, one of my childhood friends, Louis, said to me "Mike, I really
believe that at the end of the day, the best really costs less." I don't know. Maybe they are right.
Maybe the platinum plan is really the smart way to go. What do you think?

Yes…you can

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1 When you... "When you" presupposes that the person is going to do the thing or experience
the state you describe, so it's no longer open to debate or doubt.

"When you feel incredibly motivated, do you find yourself compelled to act on it?"

2 What would it be like if... in effect, a command for the person to imagine the condition or
occurrence named or described after it.

"What would it be like if you were to feel incredibly motivated?”

3 A person can... By talking about a "person" it deflects any resistance on the part of the
person, since you really aren't talking about him or her.

"A person can feel incredibly motivated, talking with someone they really, really like!"

4 If you were to... By saying "if," it deflects resistance while directing the person to imagine the
experience, condition, feeling or situation you are describing.

"If you were to feel incredibly motivated, do you think you might feel compelled to act on it?"

(There's a second command hidden in that last sentence. Can you spot what it is?)

5 As you... This phrase assumes the person will do the behaviour or undergo the condition you
describe.

"As you feel incredibly motivated, can you feel how excited you're getting?"

6 It's not necessary to... negation. By saying it isn't necessary, it eliminates any resistance, since
you're saying they don't really have to do it (even though they will!)

"It's not necessary to feel incredibly motivated, as you listen to what I say!"

7 You really shouldn't... Another negation pattern. Since you're saying they "shouldn't", it's not
like you're trying to get them to do anything, aren't you?

"You really shouldn't...feel incredibly motivated just now…!”.

8 You might find... Useful as the start of an intensifying chain of phrases. It implies that they are
going to experience what you describe as something that just happens, so it's not like you're
commanding them to do it!

"You might find as you feel incredibly motivated, it could lead to your acting on it!"

9 To the point where... This phrase connects one thing your victim is experiencing with the next
thing you want them to experience, so it's useful both as a connector and an amplifier.
 "You might find those pictures start to get bigger and brighter to the point where you feel
incredibly motivated!"

10 Invite you to notice... This has the same effect as "you might find" because it implies that what
you describe is going to happen. Plus, "invite" has pleasant connotations of it being voluntary
and polite!

"And I invite you to notice how the warmth of my voice can allow you to feel incredibly
motivated!"

11 How surprised would you be to… This implies that the event you describe is certainly going to
happen, and the only question is how surprised they'll be by it! One of my absolute favourite
weasel phrases. An example is:

"How surprised will you be to find that you can feel incredibly motivated?”
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EXERCISE #1
(We know that the examples are gender specific, male. They are written that way to avoid confusion.)
In the following sentences, please distinguish between the presuppositions and the mind readings.
Put a ‘P’ or an ‘MR’ next to each one:

1. "I’m not convinced whether or not I can use NLP language patterns easily at home."
___ A. He has a home
___ B. He wants to communicate better
___ C. He is convinced of something
___ D. He knows when he is convinced

2. "I don’t see why everyone gets better results than I do!"
___ A. He feels that he’s not good enough
___ B. He wants to make a good impression
___ C. He knows when he is getting results
___ D. All his friends are overachieving perfectionists!

3. "If I don’t make enough effort, I won’t get anywhere."

___ A. He feels motivated
___ B. He doesn’t know how to get it together
___ C. He wants to make more effort
___ D. His travel is connected to his effort

4. "I have to stop making limiting decisions."

___ A. He can’t stop making decisions
___ B. He feels trapped
___ C. He made a decision
___ D. He knows when he’s being limited

5. "Wow, I feel so much better now, since I have decided to do what I want to do."
___ A. Some behaviour he engaged in was related to some internal state
___ B. He has feelings
___ C. He has much more control of his life now
___ D. He fixed himself so he should be certified
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EXERCISE #2
In the following sentences, please identify the major presupposition as well as what else is
presupposed:

1. “If the cat meows, again, I’ll have to put him outside.”
2. “It was her friendly smile that made me walk up and say ‘Hey’.”
3. “If only he had come home on time, the party wouldn’t have gotten out of control.”
4. “People have always given me more to do than I can handle.”
5. “P.R. people are always easy-going.”
6. “Stop watching so closely, and listen to me.”
7. “Not only you can learn this.”
8. “Either she goes crazy or I do.”
9. “First the winds came then the rain.”
10. “Opera makes me want to cry.”
11. “Why can’t I have what I want?”
12. “It’s hard to focus on new learnings, because my brain doesn’t work that way.”
13. “These concepts are brand new therefore they are difficult.”
14. “I can either take care of business or learn this.”
15. “I cannot do what I want when I want, since my family demands too much from me.”
16. “There is only one way to do it and that is my way.”
17. “You should have realised, by now, that I am always right.”
18. “The first thing I had to discover was that I did not really know how to communicate.”
19. “For some time now, it has been much easier for me to not think for myself.”

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Construct a solution for each presupposition:
1. Existence: Are you sure?
Evidence challenge with not + time
Example: I have anxiety.
Response: When are you sure it’s not there?

2. Awareness: Pace the presupposition, plus switch referential index

(you can also add “not”).
Example: I didn’t realise that upset you.
Response: What you didn’t realise was what else you were communicating your upset.
Response: I didn’t realise how upset you were.

3. Possibility: If Modal Operator of Impossibility, remember it’s "can

do the process of not."
Example: I can’t stop drinking.
Response: How can you...not stop drinking?
If Modal Operator of Necessity, chain it to Modal Operator of Possibility, i.e., can.

4. C=Eq: Take the opposite, pace it to the limit and use a counter example with a Referential Index
Switch to the solution.
Example: My wife never has dinner done; that means she doesn’t love me.
Response: How much will you have to eat so she knows she loves you?

5. C>E: Switch position, chunk up effect, Switch Referential Index, and do a "not" on Cause.
Example: My wife doesn’t understand me.
Response: What is it that you don’t totally understand in yourself that causes you to think that she
doesn't understand you?

6. Time: Since time is a Nominalisation, you can use the decision destroyer.
Example: I regret my decision.
Response: When did you decide that? Before regretting it
what were you deciding?

7. Adjective, Adverb: Comparative Deletions

(Same behaviour—different context.)

8. Or: Chunk up to a common intent (which gives you a Mind Read), what, when, how, plus
exclusive or.
Example: I can’t decide if I should take the trainer’s training or go home.
Response: So if you don’t do what you want, how will you learn what you need to learn?
Example: Should I stay in this relationship or not? Response: How will you ever be able to relate to
anyone if
you aren’t free to do what you want?

9. Ordinal: Reverse the order and apply one on top of another.

Example: I need to know why I do it before I change what I do.
Response: So why don’t you change while you do it?

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NLP NEGOTIATION MODEL
Discover the positions of each of the parties in the conflict. (Make sure agreement is possible. Make
sure that both parties can make a decision.)

Begin with one side (generally the least solid) and Chunk up - until you get beyond the boundaries of
what the position originally was. You will know this when the original position becomes
meaningless.

Separate intention from behaviour

Use a conditional close

"So if you get "X" then however we do it is OK.”

Chunk down only as quickly as you can maintain agreement. (If maintenance of agreement is not
possible, then chunk objecting party higher.)

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MILTON MODEL
HYPNOTIC LANGUAGE PATTERNS
Mind Reading: Claiming to know the thoughts or feelings of another without specifying the process by
which you came to know the info.
"I know that you are wondering..."
Lost Performative: Value judgments where the performer of the value judgment is left out.
"And it’s a good thing to wonder..."
Cause & Effect: Where it is implied that one thing causes another. Implied Causatives include:
a. C>E makes
b. If... then...
c. As you...then you...
"Because..."
Complex Equivalence: Where two things are equated - as in their meanings being equivalent.
"That means..."
Presuppositions: The linguistic equivalent of assumptions.
"You are learning many things..."
Universal Quantifiers: A set of words that have the following characteristics:
a. Universal generalisations and
b. No referential index.
"And all the things, all the things…"

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Modal Operators: Words which imply possibility or necessity, and which form our rules in life.

• "That you can learn..."

8. Nominalisations: Process words that have been frozen in time by making them into nouns.

9. "Can you not?"

11. Lack of Referential Index: A phrase that does not pick out a
specific portion of the listener’s experience.
• "One can, you know..."

12. Comparative Deletions: (Unspecified Comparison) Where the comparison is made and it is not
specified as to what or whom it was made.
• "And it’s more or less the right thing."

13. Pacing Current Experience: Where client’s experience (verifiable,

external) is described in a way which is undeniable.
• "You are sitting here, listening to me, looking at me, (etc.)..."

14. Double Binds: Wherein the illusion of choice is offered using an

“or.” However, usually both choices are desired.
• "And that means that your unconscious mind is also here, and can hear (phonological ambiguity)
what I say. And since that’s the case, you are probably learning about this and already know
more at an unconscious level than you think you do, and it’s not right for me to
"Provide you with new insights, and new understandings." Unspecified Verbs
"And you can,"
10. Tag Question: A question added after a statement, designed to
displace resistance.

tell him, learn this or learn that, let him learn in any way he wants, in any order."

15. Conversational Postulate: The communication has the form of a question, a question to which
the response is either a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’. If I want you to do something, what else must be
present so that you will do it, and out of your awareness? It allows you to choose to respond
or not and avoids authoritarianism.
• "Would you feel more comfortable if your eyes were closed?"

16. Extended Quotes: Where it is not possible for one to tell where one
quote leaves off and the next one begins.
• "Last week I was with Richard who told me about his training in 1983 at Denver when he talked to
someone who said..."

17. Selectional Restriction Violation: A sentence that is not well formed in that only humans
and animals can have feelings.
• "A chair can have feelings..."

18. Ambiguities
a. Phonological: Where two words with different meanings sound alike.
• "Hear", "Here"
b. Syntactic: Where the function (syntactic) of a word cannot be immediately determined from the
immediate context.
• "They are visiting relatives"
• "Speaking to you as a child..."
c. Scope: Where it cannot be determined by linguistic context how
much is applied to that sentence by some other portion of the sentence.
• "The old men & women..."
• "The disturbing noises & thoughts..."
• "The weight of your hands & feet..."
d. Punctuation: Run on sentences:
• "I want you to notice your hand me the glass."

Pause at improper places.

• “Can you please pass out (pause) the flyers?” Incomplete sentences: The sentence is left unfinished
• "Would you rather go into a trance now or...”

19. Utilisation: Utilise all that happens or is said by mentioning what is verifiable.
• Client says, "I am not sold."
You say, “That's right you are not sold, yet, because you haven’t
asked the one question that will have you totally and completely sold."
Putting it all together:
"I know that you are wondering... and it’s a good thing to wonder... because... that means... you are
learning many things... and all the things, all the things... that you can learn... provide you with
new insights, and new understandings. And you can, can you not? One can, you know. And
it’s more or less the right thing. You are sitting here, listening to me, looking at me, and that
means that your unconscious mind is also here, and can hear what I say. And since that’s the
case, you are probably learning about this and already know more at an unconscious level
than you think you do, and it’s not right for me to tell him, learn this or learn that, let him learn
in any way he wants, in any order. Do you feel this... is something you understand? Because,
last week I was with Richard who told me about his training in 1983 at Denver when he talked
to someone who said, "A chair can have feelings... You can hear that here...."

EXAMPLES
NOTE: Often, more than one Milton Model Pattern will appear in a single phrase or sentence. A few of
these are pointed out from time to time. We know you’ll have even more fun discovering the
rest of them on your own.

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1. Mind Reading
I know you’re wondering. . .
I know you believe. . . .
I know you came here for a purpose.
I know how you like that.
I know you enjoy. . . .
I know that you knew that
I know you’re thinking how wonderful trance is.
I know that you’re in a nice trance now.
I know that you’re learning a lot here today.
I know that tomorrow you will learn even more than today.
I know that when you leave this training, you will be much wiser. I know you all studied very hard
before you came here.
We know you don’t care.
I knew you were thinking that.
I’m sure you’re aware
I’m sure you felt
You probably are aware. . . .
You probably also know
I bet you’re upset about that.
I realise you already know
I can tell you’re happy.
I can tell how you feel. . . .
I can tell you’re happy.
I can tell you’ve had a trying day.
I can see you believe
I see that you know
You are enjoying the sound of Tad’s voice as he speaks to you.

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2. Lost Performative
Its bad to
That’s good.
That’s right.
That’s too bad.
It’s good when
That’s perfect !
It is important to
It’s wrong to cheat.
One doesn’t have to
Today is a great day !
It’s best to do therapy.
It’s good to study hard.
It’s important to learn.
It’s good to dispute that
No one should judge others.
It’s great to always be right!
It’s great that you can change.
It’s really good that you say that.
It’s better to give than to receive.
It was not right of you to say that.
You’re wrong. (Or: "That’s right... you’re wrong.)
And its a good thing to wonder (Nominalisation: "thing") You shouldn’t be judging the comments of
other people. It’s best to add your own examples here now:
______________________________________________________________________________________

3. Cause and Effect

(Note: Embedded Commands cause the Unconscious Mind to access whatever is mentioned,
regardless of the structure of the rest of the sentence. A few Embedded Commands are
underlined here in the C > E pattern. Can you discover more of them in other patterns ?)
If I help you, then you’ll learn this.
As you sit there, then you can feel
Don’t X , unless you want to Y .
Don’t sit there unless you want to go into trance. Don’t move your foot unless you want to go deeper.
If you sit in this chair, you’ll go into trance.
As you listen closely, you will learn faster.
As you sit there you can feel more confident. Reading this sentence, you get better and better. You
can hear the music helping you to relax now
Just your being here makes you want to learn this.
As you ask that question, then you begin to understand. Because we are here, you are learning many
new things
As you sit here and listen to this, you are learning so much. Because you are here you are going to
learn NLP more easily. You will become more relaxed as you feel the fresh air coming in. As
you contemplate Milton Model, you can go deeply into trance. ... And that’s because it’s
artfully vague.
Since you’re reading this sentence, you can think of several more examples.

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4. Complex Equivalence
You are relaxing, so you’re in trance.
When you get moved, you’ll be happy.
Being here means that you will change.
Your question means you know it already.
Asking questions means you are learning.
Going to bed early means you will be alert.
Your body relaxes as you let go each breath.
You know the answer, so you are competent.
Regular exercise makes you a better athlete.
Your being in this group deepens your trance.
Being here means you will enjoy the process.
Breathing that way means you’ll go even deeper
Sitting in this room, you are learning many things.
Your relaxed body means that you are in trance now.
The fact that you want to learn, means that you will.
Just getting here means that you’re willing to change.
As you master these skills, you’ll be a better therapist.
You’re learning many things because he is a good teacher.
As you exercise regularly, it means you will get healthy.
Keeping your eyes open like that means you’ll go into trance.
And closing your eyes means you’ll go even deeper. (Double bind) You’ve come a long way, & that
means that you’re ready to change. You’re listening closely means you’re learning wonderful
things. Your ability to go into trance enables you to change your behaviour. Having gotten this
far means you can write more examples of this pattern.

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5. Presuppositions
You can do this even better.
You’re learning many things.
You are changing all the time.
How else do you go into trance?
You can see this more clearly now.
You’re seeing things differently now.
You’ll be able to learn even more tomorrow.
You are going to go into a deeper trance soon.
After you pass this class, the next one is easier.
You can go through this process even more easily
You realise you have more resources than ever before.
Since your unconscious mind is listening all the time
You can easily move in the direction of your past memories. You will write most of the best examples
of this pattern here.

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6. Universal Quantifiers
Nobody’s perfect.
Everything you know
All the things to learn
All the people, all the time Everything you have learned So every time you think of that
all the feelings there are to feel
after all you have learned from the tapes
with everything that’s happening in the world
Everything is wonderful.
We are all in trance now.
Everything means nothing.
There is always tomorrow.
Everyone knows it to be true.
There is always more to learn.
All the meanings will be clear
Everybody knows this part is easy.
Everyone here has something to learn.
One can never know all there is to know.
Everybody knows you can learn all things.
Everything in this room enhances your learning.
Everyone can learn everything we’re doing here today.
All the people doing this process are learning many new things None of the most hypnotic phrases
have been written yet. You have them all in your head. Write every one you can think of here.

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7. Modal Operators (of Possibility or Necessity)

You should care for others.
You should now clearly see
You should not hurry into trance just yet.
You shouldn’t go into trance too quickly, now.
You should know it’s OK to learn in this room.
You could learn this now.
You could write this down. . . or not. (Also: Double bind) You could feel more and more peaceful.
(What’s the presupposition here?)
You must be aware. . . .
You must be getting this now. . . at some level. . . . You may discover you can learn here.
You can change overnight.
You may hear the words of wisdom.
You can begin to get that change now.
And you can trust your unconscious mind.
You might be able to learn this quite easily.
It’s possible to learn everything easily and quickly. You could list a few more examples on the lines
below.

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8. Nominalisations
[With minimal restructuring, I have taken various Nominalisations and linked them together for your
reading enjoyment. Every (yes every) line contains a nominalisation.]
NLP is easy
as you just trust in the process while you’re in trance
and allow your intuitions
to help you notice new feelings as those feelings come
and other feelings may go
your behaviour improves
so the renewed communication in your relationships
means you have made many new learnings. because that communication
shows respect
for those relationships
and all your new decisions
showed your trust
in the importance of
your unconscious mind’s remarkably powerful desires and your demonstration
of those new learnings
and understandings
showed your sense of wonder at the importance
of all the work you’ve been doing
in your life
which is a perfect demonstration
of the simple truth
that trance works
doesn’t it ?
(By the way, did you notice that "nominalisation" is a nominalisation?) Your thoughts on
nominalisnominalizationsations are an important form of communication

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9. Unspecified Predicate (Unspecified Verb)

I was wondering if you knew when you are feeling like you could just let go and notice how easily you
begin to enjoy and as you continue breathing you may or you may not notice going deeper
and you could go deeper since you really enjoy doing this and you could even continue or if
you don’t you may discover how much you remember about how you’re improving, now and
you will, of course be wondering just where this might be going so remember if you will that
your being and your learning can only help you to move towards understanding just how easily
you can be changing and inducing or simply trancing out aren’t you?
 Now perhaps you could continue to write right here now.

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10. Tag Question

didn’t I?
isn’t it?
have you?
will you ?
won’t you?
haven’t you?
aren’t we ?
aren’t you ?
don’t you now?
don’t you think?
won’t you, now?
couldn’t you. . . ?
wouldn’t you know?
and you can, can you not?
You’ll add more to the list now won’t you?

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11. Lack of Referential Index

People can
It is, you see. That’s the way. People can learn Now you’ve got it! You will, you know. One can easily
see
You know the feeling.
You may not know it
You have, and you know it.
You can just let it go now.
A person can, you know. . . .
That would help you go deeper.
It puts people through changes.
Do you see this more clearly, now? One can, you know, accomplish a goal.
When you can notice that certain sensation right there Please help them; they couldn’t think of any
more of these.

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12. Comparative Deletions

Right or wrong. . . .
even more relaxed
It’s a higher thought
You will enjoy it more.
You’re doing better now
Now and then, things happen
But that’s neither here not there.
You’re going deeper and deeper. . . . Sooner or later you will understand. This is more or less the right
time
before or after you come out of trance. At one time or another, you may notice and it’s more or less
the right thing to do
But its better to change now. (Also: Lost Performative)
And it’s better to do it that way. (Also: Lost Performative)
You’re a better person than you were before. ( Did you notice both?) Sooner or later, you’ll write more
comparative deletions that are more or less better than the ones above, as they occur to you
from time to time.

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13. Pacing Current Experience

You hear my voice
We are in this group
As we sit here now. . . .
And you’re sitting here
As you notice each blink
As you continue breathing. . . . As you look at me like that. . . . And as you breathe in. . . and out
As you kneel there sipping your tea,
As you feel the weight of the notebook on you lap. . . .
As you’re looking around (only if your sensory acuity verifies!) More of your muscles are relaxing.
(only if your sensory acuity verifies it!) As you stop and look and listen
(only if your sensory acuity verifies it!)
you can feel the warmth of the cup on your lips. . . .
While you are sitting there writing. . . .
As you hear that plane overhead. . . .
As your eyes continue reading the words on this page while you’re looking at it and from time to time
you may become aware of the thoughts in your mind or those sensations in your hand or
down there on the soles of your feet you could also begin to wonder if you could think of how
artfully you can pace a person’s ongoing experience and you might even like to make a note
or two right here now about pacing.

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14. Double Binds

Do you want to begin now, or later ?
As you dream, or upon awakening. . . .
either before, or after, leaving this room
When you go to bed you will either dream, or not.
Will you begin to change now or after this session?
Would you like to quit smoking today or tomorrow?
Would you like to buy the car now, or test drive it first:
Would you rather do that before or after: your meeting?
You either will or you won’t [followed by an unspecified verb]
Would you like to go to bed at 8:45, or at a quarter till nine?
Do you want to learn that today or during your next session?
Take all the time you need to finish up in the next five minutes.
You can change as quickly or as slowly as you want to now.
If you don’t write at least one more double bind in the space below now, you will either think of one
automatically very soon, or else wonder when the next one will come to mind, so you can
write it down then.
______________________________________________________________________________________

15. Conversational Postulate

Can you imagine this? Can you close the door? Will you just let go now?
Can you picture doing this?
Can you see what I’m saying?
Can you reach that level now?
Would it be all right to feel this good?
do you know that you know it already?
Could you open your mind for a moment?
How easily do you think you can do this?
Can you remember to be kind to yourself?
Does this sound like it will work for you?
Do you feel prepared to sign the contract now?
Do you think you can make the changes you want?
Would you like. . . to just sit here. . . and relax now?
Wouldn’t you like to just drift into that peaceful state?
Would you mind writing down a couple more conversational postulates here?

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16. Extended Quotes

Last year, in San Diego, John Grinder was telling us about this African drummer who asked Judy if
she had heard the village chief say how easy it is to generate extended quotes.
Last year, I met a woman who said she knew a man who had mentioned
that his Father told him. . . .
Tad said that in a training four years ago,
he had told the story about when Richard Bandler was quoting
Virginia Satir, who used to say that... I was speaking with a friend the other day, who told me of a
conversation she had had with a therapist who told her about a session he’d had with a client who
said. . . .
When I went to Dubbo the other day with Bill and Ted, one of them told a story about when his
mother would sit down and explain to the children how his father had said….The other day, a
participant in the training was telling me that her husband said Gordon had told him to ask you
to write a couple of extended quotes down right here.

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17. Selectional Restriction Violation

My rock said. . . .
The walls have ears That nail hurt my tire.
Flowers like to picked.
My car knows how to get here.
Put the noise down in your toe, and let it listen. What did your actions say to you?
Could you open your mind for a moment?
and just listen to what the butterfly has to tell you?
because the words have power of their own
The cat doesn’t care about the furniture’s outrage from the scratching.
As he picked up the spoon, the Jell-O trembled with fear.
And if your pen told us all the things it has learned. . . .
My car loves to go fast when the road beckons.
Do trees cry when they drop their leaves?
Sometime the cookies just call to you.
Do you know what the pen thought?
These wall can tell such stories.
Your pen knows how to write selectional restriction violations very easily, if you will just lead it to the
lines below now.

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18. Ambiguities:
a. Phonological Ambiguities
you’re / your
there / their
here / here
son / sun
bare bear bottoms
there’s no "their" in there
He reddened as he read in it.
You are the one who has won.
After all you have learned from the tapes
And here today as, you hear your unconscious mind. . . . you can trust you’re unconscious mind now.
So you think you can’t deal with your lover? Love her; can’t you?
b. Syntactic Ambiguities
running water
shooting stars
babbling brook
Hypnotising hypnotists can be tricky.
c. Scope Ambiguities
your deep breathing and trance. . .
d. Punctuation Ambiguities (a run-on sentence)
Let me take your hand me the pen.
See the butterfly drifting over the hilltop is a beautiful valley.
(punctuation) My wife left me. . . to go to Texas.
I was looking for my tie. . . into this thought.
If you hear any ambiguities, it’s all right to write them right here.

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19. Utilisation
Client: "I don’t think I know."
Practitioner: "That’s right, you don’t you know."
Client: "I can’t be hypnotised."
Practitioner: "That’s right. You can’t be hypnotised yet."
Customer: "I’m not sold."
Salesperson: "That’s right, because you haven’t asked the one question yet that will let you be sold.

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DECISION DESTROYER
Where client says, "I’ve already decided."
This process requires rapport!
1. Pace the problem. Get the client back to the decision.

2. "Where were you when you were deciding that?"

3. ".....just before that where were you?"

4. “NOW, as you think about your present situation in life, notice how many options you have, now."

5. "Think of that problem and notice how you feel now."

6. "As you think about the next time you may do X, knowing what you
know now, notice how much better you feel, not doing it.”

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GOING BEYOND BOUNDARIES

“it’s a good thing to NOT Know”

1. What is it?

2. What is it not?
3. How do you know? (Re: What it is not.)

4. What is it that you need to not know to know this?

(Alternatively: “What is it that you are pretending to not know to know this?”)

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LINGUISTIC RE-SOURCING
1. What’s the problem?

2. How do you know (it’s a problem)?

3. When did you decide that?

4. When don’t you do it now?

5. What are you not deciding when you don’t’ do it?

6. How is that different from how you were?

7. How do you know that, now?

8. What other changes would you like to make?

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DE-IDENTIFICATION PATTERN
This pattern is useful for going beyond limiting (and therefore false) identifications, usually in the form
of a CEq. Complex equivalence’s are the language construction of identification. With a slight
adjustment of the language you can use this easily on yourself therapeutically or as a
meditation if you continue to repeat steps 3 through 6.
1. Elicit the identification in the form of a Complex Equivalence. Listen for:
• the verb “to be”
• Or "Means"

2. Pace and feedback the complex equivalence. “So, you are _________.”

3. “Is that all you think you are?”(Look for a physiological shift.)

4. “Aren't you more than that?”(There should be agreement.)

5. “So, what are you that's not(the previous identification)?”

You want a verbal answer from the client. (We have gone beyond the boundaries, and we need a
word to stabilise the shift.)

6. “And beyond (the word elicited in #5), is that all you are? How much more are you than that?”
For extra leverage use Tag Question:
“You do know you are more than that, don't you?”

7. “How do you know?”

Anchors the change to the client's reality strategy.

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TIME SCRAMBLE
AN EXAMPLE OF TEMPORAL LANGUAGE
Go inside and try in vain to have the same problem.

It was a terrible problem, wasn’t it?

You want to make changes haven’t you?...

What would it be like when you have made those changes, now?

In the future as you look back and see what it was like to have had that problem...as you think about
it now, if you could make this change for yourself so that you could STOP...having made that
change and see yourself now.

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LINGUISTIC PARTS INTEGRATION

This pattern can be useful in integrating Parts. Here’s how you would resolve a Part’s conflict using
Prime Concerns.
Process for Integrating Parts:
1. Discover the Function/Behaviour for Each Part:
“What is the behaviour of the Part, or what is the function that the Part plays?”

2. Discover the Purpose/Intention of the Behaviour:

“What is the purpose of this behaviour? What is the intent of the behaviour?”

3. Make sure the Learning’s are Preserved:

“What is there to learn from the behaviour?” (Handle the ecology of the integration.)

4. Switch the Purpose/Intention of One Part to the other:

Take the intention from part A and talk about it as though it was the intention of part B, while at the
same time talking about the original intention for Part A and the original intention for Part B.
Swap Intentions & Behaviour

5. Test for Integration

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PRIME CONCERNS ELICITATION

Starting, Changing, Stopping

For our purposes in elicitation there are six possibilities that operate in conjunction with one another. In
other words, a person will usually be best at one and worst at one. So there are two questions
to use, and they should be asked in order.
First Question:
"What are you best at — starting things, changing things, or stopping things?"

Second Question:
"What are you worst at — starting things, changing things, or stopping things?"

Third Question:
"So (who/what) is it that you are not (being/doing/having) that you want to (be/do/have)?

Prediction:
• The person who's worst at starting things will have trouble being who they want to be. "Why can't I
be who I want?"
• The person who's worst at changing things will have trouble doing what they want to do. "Why can’t
I do what I want to do?"
• The person that's worst at stopping things will have trouble having what they want. "Why can't I
ever get what I want?"

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The Ecstatic State Elicitation1

In looking for a Prime Concern, we are not really looking for the ecstatic state, we are looking for the
Non Mirror–Image Reverse of the Ecstatic state. This elicitation will provide a tremendous
amount of information.
Process:
First Question
"Can you remember a time when you were totally ecstatic? Do that, would you please?"

Second Question:
"As you remember a time when you were totally ecstatic, what was present in that state that's not
usually present?" Write down the exact words the client gives you as you do this. Make sure
the client is fully accessing the state!

Third Question:
What was missing that's usually present in your normal, usual, waking state. Again, write down the
client’s exact words as you do this. Make sure the client is fully accessing the state!
What’s Present that is usually Missing? What’s Missing that’s usually Present?
Prediction: The answer the client gives to #2 and #3 will give you a level of words that are either
Prime Concerns or leading to Prime Concerns.

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PRIME CONCERNS NULL SET

1. “Tell me about that ....”
2. “Tell me more ....” (until client has said everything that (s)he can think of)”
3. “What is it that you haven’t told me that you’re NOT thinking of ... right now!” (Anchor)
4. Then fire off the Null Set anchor as they consider problems, problem states, or strategies that
create the problem states.

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The basic steps to generate a metaphor are as follows:

PREMAPPING:
1. Identify the sequence of behaviour and/or events in question: This could range from a conflict
between internal parts, to a physical illness, to problematic interrelationships between the
client and parents, a boss or a spouse.
2. Strategy analysis: Is there any consistent sequence of representations contributing to the current
behavioural outcome?
3. Identify the desired new outcomes and choices:
This may be done at any level of detail, and is important that you
have an outcome to work for.
4. Establish anchors for strategic elements involved in this current behaviour and the desired
outcome. For instance, in one knee you might anchor all of the strategies and representations
that stop the client from having the necessary choices; and on the other knee you might
anchor any personal resources (regardless of specific contexts) that the client may have.

MAPPING STRATEGIES:
5. Displace referential indices: map over all nouns (objects and elements) to establish the characters in
the story. The characters may be anything, animate or inanimate, from rocks to forest
creatures to cowboys to books, etc. What you choose as characters is not important so long
as you preserve the character relationship. Very often you may want to use characters from
well-known fairy tales and myths.
6. Establish an isomorphism between the client’s situation and behaviour, and the situation and
behaviours of the characters in the story - map over all verbs (relations and interactions):
Assign behavioural traits, such as strategies and representational characteristics, that parallel
those in the client’s present situation (i.e., pace the client’s situation with the story). Make use
of any anchors you have established previously to secure the relationship.
7. Access and establish new resources in terms of the characters and events in the story: This may
be done within the framework of a Reframing or reassessing of a forgotten resource; again,
using any appropriate pre-established anchors. You may choose to keep the actual content of
the resource ambiguous allowing the client’s unconscious processes to choose the
appropriate one.
8. Use non sequiturs, ambiguities and direct quotes to break up sequences in the story and direct
conscious resistance, if such resistance is present and is hindering the effect of the metaphor.
Conscious understanding does not, of course, necessarily interfere with the metaphoric
process.
9. Keep your resolution as ambiguous as necessary to allow the client’s unconscious processes to
make the appropriate changes. Collapse the pre-established anchors and provide a future
pace, if possible, to check your work

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MAKING METAPHORS WORK

1. Present State
2. Desired State
3. What Prevents You?
4. What’s of Interest, or Value to You? What’s Important to you?
5. (without Client) What is this an example of? What are other examples of this?
6. Metaphor: Bridge the Gap to New Resources

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THE EVOLUTION OF VALUES CLAIRE GRAVES’ SYSTEM
1. AN—Beige— Band — Survival Oriented
2. BO—Purple—Tribe — Tribal Oriented
3. CP— Red— Empire — Aggression Oriented
4. DQ— Blue— Passive Hierarchy — System Oriented
5. ER— Orange— Active Hierarchy — Materialistically Oriented
6. FS— Green— Social Network — Group & Cause Oriented
7. GT— Yellow— Functional Flow
8. HU— Turquoise— Global Flux

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The Values Levels

1—BEIGE: SURVIVAL
• Instinctive automatic
• The essence of human survival
• Uses deep brain programs and senses
• Distinct self is barely awakened
• Lives much as other animals but better
• Minimal impact on environment

2—PURPLE: A CLANNISH “US”

• Obey desires of mystical spirit being
• Show allegiance to elders, custom, clan
• Preserve sacred places, objects, rituals
• Bond together to endure and find safety
• Live in an enchanted, magical village
• Seek humanity with nature’s power

3—RED: MY POWERFUL “SELF”

• Every man for himself
• Express self, to hell with others
• Escape domination by others or nature
• Avoid shame, feel no guilt, get respect
• Gratify impulses & senses immediately
• Fight to gain control at any cost
• Be not constrained by consequences

4—BLUE: A RIGHTEOUS “US”

What is bigger than me, a guiding singular force, bigger than you
• Find meaning and purpose in life
• Sacrifice self to the way for the Truth
• Bring order, stability, and future reward
• Control impulsivity through guilt
• Enforce principles of rightful living
• Divine plans puts people in proper places

5—ORANGE: MY STRATEGIC “SELF”

• If it ain’t broke—then break it & make it even better
• Strive for autonomy and independence
• Seek out “the good-life” and abundance
• Progress through the Best solutions
• Enhance living for many through technology
• Play to win and enjoy competition
• Learn through tried-and-true experience

6—GREEN: OUR COMMUNITARIAN “US”

• Liberate humans from greed and dogma
• Explore the inner beings of self/others
• Promote a sense of community and unity
• Share society’s resources among all
• Reach decisions through consensus
• Refresh spirituality and bring harmony

7—YELLOW: AN INTEGRATED “SELF”

The swing back into a “Doing” thing, the action again
• Accept the inevitability of nature’s flows
• Focus on functionality, competencies
• Find natural mix of conflicting “truths’
• Self-interest without harm to others
• Experience fullness of living on Earth
• Demands flexibility and open systems

8—TURQUOISE: AN HOLISTIC “US”

• Blending, harmonising, strong collective
• Focus on the good of all living entities
• Expanded use of human brain/mind tools
• Self is part of larger, conscious whole
• Global networking seen as routine
• Acts for minimalist living so less is more