Module 12.
Less Stress, More Care
Stress and Human Response
Selye hypothesized a general adaptation or stress syndrome. This general stress syndrome
affects the whole body. Stress always manifests itself by a syndrome, a sum of changes, and not
by simply one change.
The general stress syndrome has three components:
• The alarm stage
• The stage of resistance
• The exhaustion stage
Stress diseases are maladies caused principally by errors in the body’s general adaptation
process.
If stress is induced chronically, our defense response lowers its resistance since fewer antibodies
are produced and an inflammatory response dwindles.
The stress response begins in the brain.
When someone experiences a stressful event, the amygdala, an area of the brain that contributes
to emotional processing, sends a distress signal to the hypothalamus.
The hypothalamus is a bit like a command center. This area of the brain communicates with the
rest of the body through the autonomic nervous system.
The autonomic nervous system has two components:
The sympathetic nervous system triggers the fight-or-flight response, providing the body
with a burst of energy so that it can respond to perceived dangers.
The parasympathetic nervous system promotes the “rest and digest” response that
calms the body down after the danger has passed.
Techniques to Counter Chronic Stress
1. Relaxation response. These include deep abdominal breathing, focus on a soothing word
(such as peace or calm), visualization of tranquil scenes, repetitive prayer, yoga, and tai
chi.
2. Physical activity. People can use exercise to stifle the buildup of stress in several ways.
Exercise, such as taking a brisk walk shortly after feeling stressed, not only deepens
breathing but also helps relieve muscle tension.
3. Social support. Confidants, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, relatives, spouses, and
companions all provide a life-enhancing social net, and may increase longevity.
The Cultural Dimension of Stress and Coping
A person’s internalized cultural values, beliefs, and norms affect the appraisal process of
stressors and the perceived appropriateness of coping responses;
• stress and coping are universal experiences faced by individuals regardless of culture,
ethnicity, and race;
• members of different cultures might consider and respond to stressors differently with
respect to coping goals, strategies, and outcomes.
• avoidance, withdrawal, and forbearance coping methods are common among Asians;
• spiritual, religious, and ritual based coping are common among African-Americans and
African-Canadians;
• spiritual and religious coping and coping through family support are common among
individuals of Latino/Latina backgrounds
Self-Care Therapy
1. Stop, breathe, and tell yourself: “This is hard and I will get through this one step at a time.”
2. Acknowledge to yourself what you are feeling. All feelings are normal so accept whatever
you are feeling.
3. Find someone who listens and is accepting. You do not need advice. You need to be heard.
4. Maintain your normal routine as much as possible
5. Allow plenty of time for a task.
6. Take good care of yourself. Remember to:
a.Get enough rest and sleep.
b. Eat regularly and make healthy choices.
c. Know your limits and when you need to let go.
d. Identify or create a nurturing place in your home.
e. Practice relaxation or meditation.
f. Escape for a while through meditation, reading a book, watching a movie, or taking a
short trip.
Self-compassion Therapy
• Being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate,
rather than flagellating ourselves with self-criticism;
• Being imperfect and experiencing life difficulties is inevitable, so we soothe and nurture
ourselves when confronting our pain rather than getting angry when life falls short of our
ideals;
• Recognizes that life challenges and personal failures are part of being human, an
experience we all share. In this way, it helps us to feel less desolate and isolated when we
are in pain.
This is a moment of suffering.
• Suffering is a part of life.
• May I be kind to myself.
• May I give myself the compassion I need.
• The first phrase helps to mindfully open to the sting of emotional pain. The second phrase
reminds us that suffering unites all living beings and reduces the tendency to feel
ashamed and isolated when things go wrong in our lives. The third phrase begins the
process of responding with self-kindness rather than self-criticism. The final phrase
reinforces the idea that you both need and deserve compassion in difficult moments.
• Other phrases that may feel more authentic in a given situation are: “May I accept myself
as I am,” “May I forgive myself,” or “May I learn to accept what I cannot change.”
Self-compassion and Emotional Well-being
A key feature of self-compassion is the lack of self-criticism, and self-criticism is known to be an
important predictor of anxiety and depression.
Self-compassion is not merely a matter of looking on the bright side of things or avoiding negative
feelings. Self-compassionate people recognize when they are suffering, but are kind toward
themselves.
Self-compassion is associated with greater wisdom and emotional intelligence, suggesting that
self-compassion represents a wise way of dealing with difficult emotions.
By wrapping one’s pain in the warm embrace of self-compassion, positive feelings are generated
that help balance the negative ones.
Self-compassion, Motivation, and Health
Research supports the idea that self-compassion enhances motivation rather than self-
indulgence.
Self-compassionate people aim just as high, but also recognize and accept that they cannot
always reach their goal.
Self-compassionate people have been found to have less motivational anxiety and engage in
fewer self-handicapping behaviors such as procrastination than those who lack self-compassion.
Self-compassion was positively associated with mastery goals (the intrinsic motivation to learn
and grow) and negatively associated with performance goals (the desire to enhance one’s self-
image)
Self-compassionate people are motivated to achieve, but for intrinsic reasons, not because they
want to garner social approval.
Self-compassion versus Self-esteem
Self-compassion:
Predicts greater happiness and optimism as well as less depression and anxiety when controlling
for self-esteem
Are less focused on evaluating themselves, feeling superior to others, worrying about whether
or not others are evaluating them, defending their viewpoints, or angrily reacting against those
who disagree with them
Self-esteem :
Robust association with narcissism
Evaluation of superiority/inferiority that helps to establish social rank stability and is related to
alerting, energizing impulses and dopamine activation
Self-compassionate Letter
Candidly describe a problem that tends to make you feel bad about yourself.
Next, think of an imaginary friend who is unconditionally accepting and compassionate.
Finally, write a letter to yourself from that perspective. What would your friend say about your
perceived problem? What words would he or she use to convey deep compassion? How would
your friend remind you that you are only human? If your friend were to make any suggestions,
how would they reflect unconditional understanding?
• When you are done writing, put the letter down for a while and come back to it later.
Then read the letter again, letting the words sink in, allowing yourself to be soothed and
comforted.
Less Stress, Care More
We should be in control of the stress that confronts us every day. Otherwise, when we are
overwhelmed by stress, it can be detrimental to our health. Self-care and self-compassion are
two ways to positively confront stress. We should love and care for our self more and more
each day.
