HIS BABY BOND

A Sacred Bond Novel

Lee Tobin McClain

Copyright © 2013 by Lee Tobin McClain.

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His Baby Bond/ Lee Tobin McClain. -- 1st ed.

 Dedication
To all my Colorado friends who used to visit me when I lived alone on
the top of a mountain.
 CHAPTER ONE

Kendra Forrester let her axe sink into the chopping block and blinked the
snow of a Colorado January out of her eyes. It was strange enough to hear a
vehicle up here on her isolated mountaintop, but to actually see a fancy
pickup truck jolting to a halt in her snow-covered driveway…that never
happened.
Who could be visiting her this high on the mountain at twilight?
And which of her friends had won the lottery, to afford a truck like that?
Uneasiness clutched her stomach as she strained to see through the misty
snow. Normally she had no problem caretaking the Mountain Pines Cabins
alone; normally a visitor caused her nothing but happy anticipation.
But now she wasn’t alone, and the thought of the baby sleeping inside her
cabin twisted twin strands of love and concern around her heart. Now, she
had more than just herself to take care of.
Irritated at herself for getting jittery, she took a step toward the large
person emerging from the truck’s cab. And then she froze.
Garrett.
But Garrett was dead.
Shock mingled with hope. If Garrett was alive, maybe Cleo . . .
Automatically, before she could stop herself, she sent up a silent prayer that
her sister had somehow survived.
The dead man strode closer. Snow swirled around him. His face came
into focus and she saw his mouth moving, though he hadn’t yet caught sight
of her, half-blocked by a couple of ponderosa pines.
In her frozen state of disbelief, his words sounded more distant than he
was, until some still-working part of her brain measured their meaning and
tone.
“Off the wretched GPS…no woman in her right mind…worst mountain
road in the state…”
He saw her and stopped, his eyes growing darker.
Reality returned. “You’re…not Garrett,” she heard herself say with
disappointment.
“Of course not. Garrett’s dead.”
 “You look an awful lot like him.”
“So I’m told. I’m his older brother.” He was in front of her now,
stomping snow off massive boots and holding out a gloved hand. “Zeke
King. Are you Kendra Forrester?”
“Yes.” She was wearing thick gloves too, but his hand dwarfed hers and
she could feel his strong grip through the fabric.
“Pleased to meet you.” His voice didn’t sound pleased. “I’m sorry to
show up without any warning like this.”
She opened her mouth to say it was okay, and then shut it. Her heart was
still pounding from the shock of seeing someone who looked just like her
dead brother-in-law materialize in front of her. And something about the set
of Zeke King’s enormous square shoulders and the clipped tone of his voice
made her suspect he wasn’t here as a friend.
Nonetheless, he was here, and the temperature was dropping, and the
wind had picked up. And although she had never met Zeke, who’d been too
busy with his international business dealings to attend either his brother’s
hasty wedding or his funeral, she did know his family.
“You’d better come in out of the cold,” she said.

She was young. So much younger than he’d expected, and with an
innocence in her eyes that had to be false.
Zeke tore his eyes from the profusion of red curls that trailed down
Kendra Forrester’s back and looked at the cabin she was leading him to.
He’d been expecting something like the run-down trailer homes that lined
the dirt road further down the mountain. But Kendra’s log cabin looked neat
and welcoming, its windows glowing in the snowy wilderness.
He followed her across the porch and through the oak door, then looked
around the cabin’s large main room. Colorful rugs brightened the gleaming,
pine plank floor, a fire radiated warmth from a stone fireplace, and
cinnamon-rich fragrance filled the air.
Muscles he hadn’t realized were tense started to relax. The baby wouldn’t
be damaged by her stay here, no matter what the reputation of its occupant.
“Make yourself at home,” Kendra said, hurrying toward a kitchen alcove
without taking off her heavy coat. “I forgot about the muffins. Hope they’re
not burnt.”
No, a muffin-baking wood sprite wasn’t at all what he’d expected, he
mused as he shrugged out of his coat and hung it on a hook by the door. He
unlaced his snowy boots and slid out of them, too. This might take a while.
Zeke regretted that he hadn’t been around for his brother, deeply
regretted it in light of all that had happened. Of course his younger brother
Garrett had been a grown man when he’d decided to marry Kendra’s older
sister Cleo, but he hadn’t been very sensible. His head was all too easily
turned by a beautiful siren who’d wanted to get her hands on his family
money. Every time Zeke had called his brother, he’d heard about the stormy
marriage. He would never forget the pain and anger in his little brother’s
voice when he’d told Zeke that Cleo had broken her marriage vows.
Garret’s angry condemnation of his wife’s morals had extended to her
sister, too—apparently both women were cut from the same sorry cloth.
Zeke didn’t know what desperation had sent Garrett and Cleo off cross-
country skiing into avalanche country, but he knew the result: an orphaned
baby.
And Zeke planned to fulfill his responsibilities toward that baby, starting
with taking her from Kendra.
She hung up her coat and quickly crossed the room. When she passed in
front of the fireplace, Zeke’s mouth went dry.
Her jeans were old, thin, and just a little snug, clinging to what had to be
the prettiest legs in the Rocky Mountain region. Her forest-green sweater
had a hole in the elbow, but its color matched her eyes.
If her sister had been anything like Kendra, no wonder his brother had
lost his senses and married her.
Any man would notice a woman like that.
And according to Garrett, plenty of men did.
He watched as she leaned over a crib in the corner of the main room and
reached inside to straighten a blanket. Steeling himself against the appeal of
that maternal posture, he padded over in his socks.
“Is this the baby?” he said, leaning over beside her. Under a handmade
quilt full of blues and pinks and purples, his brother’s child lay on her back,
mouth slightly open, eyes closed.
Kendra put a possessive hand on the baby’s stomach. “Sara.”
“What?”
“Her name is Sara.”
“I know.” Zeke reached down to touch the baby’s thin, reddish hair,
feeling his throat tighten.
“You’ve never met her, have you?”
 To Zeke, the question sounded like an accusation, and guilt washed over
him. “No, I’ve been overseas.” He opened his mouth to explain the crisis
that had prevented his planned visit after Sara’s birth, and the
communications breakdown that had notified him of the funerals too late
for him to attend. But he stopped himself.
He’d failed his brother, plain and simple. When Garrett had needed him
most, Zeke hadn’t been there. It seemed almost genetic, this repeated
inadequacy at family relationships, which was why Zeke had never married
and didn’t intend to. He wouldn’t inflict his family history on a wife and
children.
But with God’s help, in this one situation, he intended to break the cycle
of irresponsibility. He slid his hand up the sleeve of his shirt, touching the
tattoo on his forearm. He hadn’t only failed his brother; he’d failed his
brotherhood. Broken his sacred bond. But that was going to change.
He wouldn’t, couldn’t, fail this child. “Can we talk about—” he began.
“Do you want some—” Kendra said at the same time.
“You first,” he said.
Kendra gave the baby’s blanket a last tweak and stepped away from the
crib. “I was going to ask you if you’d had dinner, or if you wanted some
soup or a snack.”
Zeke hadn’t eaten since breakfast and the cinnamon smell was driving
him crazy. “Um, sure,” he said, his stomach speaking before his brain could
kick in and warn him that eating the food of an adversary put him in her
debt.
“Come on over and have a seat, then.” She gestured toward a rough-
hewn chair beside the stone fireplace and headed for the kitchen alcove. A
minute later he heard her rattling pans.
Zeke sank into the comfortable, man-sized chair, wondering how often
she had male visitors up here. She certainly knew how to make a guy feel
comfortable.
His image of her as a heartless tramp like her sister started to shift. If her
arsenal included not only her beauty, which was formidable enough, but
also an ability to create a warm home and nurture a man, she would be
well-nigh irresistible.
She emerged from the kitchen alcove, her cheeks pink and pretty.
“Coffee? Hot chocolate?”
“Coffee, if it’s not too much trouble.”
 “No trouble at all.”
Five minutes later she’d set up a tray beside him with a bowl of thick
vegetable soup, coffee, and a plate of those heavenly muffins. He tried not
to gobble it all, but he was starving and the food tasted wonderful. She
puttered around, humming, and when he was halfway through the bowl she
came to sit across from him.
“This is great. Thanks.”
She nodded. “No problem. The soup’s left over from my dinner, and the
muffins I’m making for…” She looked at the plate, now half-empty, and
blinked. “Well, it’s my turn to bring food to the artist’s co-op and I was
baking them anyway.”
To cover his embarrassment about his too-big appetite, and to avoid
getting to the real subject of his visit, he asked a question. “Artist’s co-op?
You’re an artist?”
She nodded. “Fabric art.”
“Did you learn it in school?”
“No. I learned from my aunts and then put my own spin on it. But I am—
was—going to school.”
“High school?”
She met his eyes quickly, her brows slightly raised. “No, Zeke, not high
school. Business school. I need to learn more about having my own
business.” And then she leaned forward and the gentle homemaker persona
was gone. “So tell me. Why are you here?”
He swallowed his spoonful of soup, looked regretfully at the three
muffins remaining on the plate, and set his bowl aside. He wiped his mouth
and took a sip of coffee.
She had taken the offensive by asking his business and he weighed how
to proceed. Directness was best, he decided. Might as well see where she
stood.
“I came to see the baby,” he said. “And to talk about custody.”
“What about custody?”
He hesitated, took another sip of coffee. “I want her,” he said.
“What? You?”
The incredulity in her voice annoyed him. “Yes, me. I’m her uncle. And it
was Garrett’s wish—”
“Their will hasn’t been found yet.” Her long, slender white fingers
clutched the edge of her chair. “Their lawyer—she’s from the village where
we grew up—has been abroad, and she won’t be back for another week or
two.”
“I know that,” he said. “But in several discussions I had with Garrett, he
made it clear that he wanted me to have the baby if anything happened to
him. In light of that, I do plan to institute a custody hearing.”
Her eyes widened. “For your information, my sister asked me to take care
of Sara if anything happened to her. I know it’s in the will. Cleo told me.”
“Well.” Garrett rubbed his hands together and looked away from those
intense, frightened green eyes. Somehow, he didn’t want to be the one to
tell her that preferences expressed in a will were just that, preferences, and
that the courts would ultimately decide what was in Sara’s best interests. “I
guess we’ll have to wait for the lawyers and judges to figure out what’s
going on. In the meantime, though, I’d like to have custody.” There. His
cards were on the table.
She shook her head back and forth, slowly. “No way. No way. You’ve
never even seen Sara before. What do you know about taking care of a
nine-month-old infant?”
“Not a whole lot,” he admitted. “But I can learn. And I can hire a nanny
to help.”
Leaning back, she stared into the fire and Zeke had the sense that she was
gathering her inner resources and mustering her arguments. He saw her
chest rise and fall as she took a couple of deep breaths.
When she turned back toward him, her face was resolute. “While you’re
in the country, sure, you can figure out a way to care for her. But what about
when you go back overseas? According to Garrett, your lifestyle isn’t
exactly baby-friendly.”
“That’s all changed. I’m back in the States for good. And I’ve set up my
business so I can do a lot of it from home.”
Kendra went pale. “Did you do that because you wanted custody?”
“That was the main reason.” In truth, the sheer brutal shock of seeing his
little brother cut off in his prime had reminded Zeke that he himself might
not have unlimited time. At the thought of all he’d left unsaid and undone
for the brother who’d at one time looked up to him, his throat closed tight.
He fought for control. If he wanted to use his gifts, restore his good
standing in the Sacred Bond brotherhood, and accomplish God’s will for
him—rather than simply building more figurative storehouses for all his
money—choking up wouldn’t help. Action would, and he’d better get
started.
But he didn’t want to tell Kendra about the wake-up call God had given
him with Garrett’s death, because it involved admitting to her what a
materialistic life he’d been living. Somehow, he didn’t want her opinion of
him to get even worse.
Instead, he counterattacked. “Realistically, how child-friendly is your life
up here? You’re by yourself on the top of a mountain. Your vehicle looks
like a relic from The Waltons. You can’t have much money—”
“I love her, Zeke.” Her voice was low and intense. “I’ve loved her since
the day she was born. I want to raise her.”
Her words wrapped around his heart and squeezed at it. “I didn’t mean
you should be uninvolved in her life, Kendra. The more people she has who
care about her, the better.”
“But you think your money is more important than my love.”
“I think money can do things love can’t. Like buy a safe car. Provide
money for a caregiver if the parent needs to work. Get her the medical care
she needs.”
She surged out of her chair and paced to the mantel, then turned to face
him. “Look. I take her down to the free clinic in Boulder for regular
checkups. I work at home, so I can earn a living and be with her, too. When
she’s a little bigger, I’ll start taking her to a play group at my old church, so
she’ll interact with other kids.” She shrugged and lifted her hands, palms
open. “I know my car’s bad, but I’m working on it.”
Zeke couldn’t look at her. The firelight behind her outlined her figure and
made her hair glow like a halo. He had to stop thinking about how pretty
she was. That was probably what got all the guys in trouble.
He focused on the way she was answering his objections. He couldn’t
raise his main one—that he questioned her morality and didn’t want her to
pass her bad values along to the child—until he had some concrete
evidence. He also put aside his curiosity about the phrase she’d used: my
old church. Did that mean she’d had a faith to fall away from?
Anyway, he was beginning to feel a grudging admiration for this young
woman. She couldn’t be more than twenty-one or two.
Much too young for you, an irritating voice in his head saw fit to
mention.
 Yet she seemed to be making a genuine effort to take care of herself and
provide for Sara. It would surely be easier for someone as beautiful as
Kendra to find a rich man to marry, like her sister Cleo had done with
Garrett. Instead, she’d made the best plan she could, considering her limited
circumstance and opportunities. He respected that.
“I’ll tell you what,” he said, feeling magnanimous, “I could move you
down to Denver. That’s where I was planning to stay. We could find hotel
suites near one another and share custody until the will is found.” He sat
back and waited for her thanks.
She didn’t reply. Instead, she squinted at him as though he had just
proposed cannibalism.
“What’s wrong?”
She continued to stare at him. “Are you kidding?” she finally said. “You
want me to pick up and move myself—and Sara—to some hotel? In
Denver? For your convenience?”
Suddenly his offer didn’t sound quite as generous. “It would be for your
convenience too. I’m offering to share custody.”
“You’re making an assumption that you have custody, that it’s yours to
give to me.” She looked away from him, drew in a breath, and then met his
eyes. “But you’ll notice,” she said slowly and deliberately, “that I’m the one
with the child.”
“Possession is nine-tenths of the law?” He sat forward in his chair, his
muscles tensing. “You want to play hardball, then?”
She opened her mouth, paused, and closed it again without saying
anything. When she finally spoke, her voice was measured. “Look, Zeke.
This place may not look like much to you, but it’s home to me. And it’s
home to Sara, too, ever since the day her parents went on a ski trip and
never came back. She’s been grieving that loss in her little baby heart ever
since.” Her voice broke a little on the last words and she turned away from
him, staring into the fire.
Zeke felt his own throat tighten, and he couldn’t speak.
And then he realized that Kendra had her own very effective style of
hardball.
After a minute, she went on. “The point is, Sara shouldn’t have to adjust
to a whole new lifestyle again, not so soon, anyway. Also, part of my
income comes from being winter caretaker for these cabins. I’ve had the job
ever since I turned eighteen, and it’s a great gig. I don’t want to give it up,
besides the fact that the owners probably couldn’t find anyone else in the
middle of the winter.”
“I can help with the money—”
“I don’t take charity!” Her voice had risen, and she pressed her
magnificently full lips together and looked over at the crib. Then she took a
couple of deep breaths and returned to her seat across from him. “Look, I’m
willing to work to make it possible for you to see Sara. But I can’t possibly
move from this cabin right now, and I think it’s better for Sara to stay here
too.”
He stared at her, trying to read the intent behind those green eyes. Was
she sincere in wanting the best for Sara, or was she playing him?
The trouble was, his male instincts kept getting in the way of his brain.
Her appeal went way beyond pretty, he decided, watching a pulse fluttering
behind the nearly transparent skin of her neck. She had passion and
intensity that could wrap a sorcerer’s web around a man.
If the man wasn’t careful. If the man was young. If the man hadn’t lived
enough to be on his guard against temptation.
She cleared her throat and subtly scooted her chair back. He realized he’d
been staring.
Not good.
He rubbed his hands together briskly and just like that, came up with plan
B. He spent a minute ticking through his priorities and goals in his mind.
The baby, work, finding a home. Plan B met the first two, and the third
could wait. “How many cabins are up here?”
“Twelve,” she said, looking puzzled.
“Any of them winterized?”
“The two closest ones are,” she said, “but we had so much trouble renting
them that the owner decided it’s not worthwhile. They’re shut down.” She
cocked her head to one side, frowning. “You’re not thinking about—”
“That’s the solution, then.”
“What?”
“I’ll stay up here. With you and Sara.”
 CHAPTER TWO

“I’m here for the baby.”

Kendra clung to the door she’d just opened and blinked at the beard-
stubbled macho man in front of her. Behind him, the pastel colors of dawn
streaked the sky. His presence here felt like a dream—the sort of dream
from which she’d better wake up and take a really cold shower.
“The baby?” he repeated. His breath made clouds in the cold air.
Kendra cleared her throat and tightened her bathrobe around her. “Um,
she’s still sleeping.” Like most civilized people.
“Oh.” He shuffled his booted feet and squinted past her toward the crib
corner. “When do babies wake up?”
“As late as possible,” she said. She knew she should invite him in for
coffee. The poor man had nothing in his cabin. When he had dropped his
bombshell idea about staying up here last night, she’d tried to dissuade him
by saying she couldn’t leave the sleeping baby to help him fix up a cabin.
But he’d shrugged off her concern for his comfort, borrowed a sleeping bag
from her, and claimed he’d be fine roughing it for the night.
She herself was anything but fine. His intentions toward the baby, and
something about his very presence, had disturbed her deeply—even after
working on her latest design for hours, she’d tossed and turned much of the
night.
Twice she’d reached for her Bible, still in the nightstand table beside her
bed. Touching it made her feel momentarily better, but she resisted the urge
to open it up and soak in God’s word.
She didn’t need Him. Not anymore. Not once she’d learned He was as
unreliable as all the other men she’d ever met.
No, the only person she could count on was herself. She shoved down the
loneliness of that idea and tried to fill the God-sized hole in her heart with
positive thinking. She was strong, and smart, and she could take care of
Sara herself, no matter how frightened Zeke King’s power and money and
determination made her feel.
Finally, in the darkest hours of the night, she’d come up with a plan.
 Thinking it through had kept her up almost until dawn, and then Zeke’s
pounding on the door had awakened her. Thank heavens Sara was a good
sleeper.
“Wait here,” she told Zeke.
She left him standing on the porch, gathered a couple of muffins, a mug,
and a teabag from her kitchen, and dumped them in his hands. “Here’s
breakfast. I’ll bring her over in a couple of hours, after I’ve gotten her up
and dressed and fed her.”
“I could help with that,” he offered.
Zeke King playing Mr. Mom was more than she could take early in the
morning. Besides, she had a lot to do before her plan could be put into
effect. “I’ll bring her over in a couple of hours,” she repeated, and closed
the door on him.

*****

Kendra had never in her life tried to look sexy. In fact, she spent so much
time alone that she rarely thought at all about her appearance. But today, if
her plan worked, she was going to knock the sense out of Zeke King with
her feminine charms, and then get him to give up his quest for custody of
Sara.
Trouble was, after she’d slid into Cleo’s favorite winter vamp outfit, she
took one look in the mirror and turned bright red.
That was the problem with fair skin. Blushing made it hard to act cool.
She studied herself from all angles, trying to get used to this new image.
Fortunately the purple skirt wasn’t as tight on her as it had been on Cleo,
and some sort of stretchiness in the fabric allowed her to bend over to
retrieve a toy for Sara. Because she was taller than Cleo, though, it hit her
mid-thigh.
It doesn’t show any more than shorts, she told herself. And the black
tights added to the cover-up.
The snug black sweater revealed little enough, given her boyish figure.
She could only hope that Zeke King was a leg man. According to Cleo,
most men’s brains went out the window when they saw a woman in a short
skirt.
Kendra was about to test her big sister’s theory, and for Sara’s sake she
hoped it worked.
 She studied her niece, now banging a wooden spoon against an old kettle.
Zeke could undoubtedly buy her the finest educational toys. Or the latest
trendy, inappropriate dolls. She didn’t know which. Hopefully, after today,
she’d know that and a whole lot more about Zeke King.
No matter how he used his apparently limitless financial resources, he
had never shown love for Sara. And Kendra knew that what a child needed
was love, a love without measure.
Pressed down, shaken together and running over.
It was what she tried to give to Sara, that much love, even though she
didn’t have the resources to give her luxurious toys and clothes.
Zeke had almost everything on his side: money, education, power in the
world. He could surely gather a team of smart lawyers at a moment’s notice
and pay them well. Kendra wasn’t kidding herself— even if the will said
she should get custody, last night made it obvious that Zeke was determined
to get his way. He wouldn’t hesitate to play hardball, as he’d called it.
She, on the other hand, didn’t have much going for her. She was poor,
young, and alone.
But last night, in the midst of her despair about that very thing,
something Cleo had once said had come back to her.
“God didn’t give us much, but he made us pretty. We’d be fools not to
use what we have.”
That was shortly before she’d gone to Aspen to be a waitress. When
she’d come home several years later, she’d brought a rich, handsome
husband with her.
Of course, look how that had turned out.
But Cleo had made the mistake of engaging her heart. She’d fallen in
love with Garrett, while he had only fallen in love with Cleo’s beautiful
body. When that body had thickened with pregnancy, he’d lost interest,
breaking Cleo’s heart.
Uneasy, Kendra pulled her mind back to the present and started bundling
Sara up for the trip over to Zeke’s cabin. She wouldn’t make the same
mistake Cleo had, not ever. She had no intention of falling for Zeke, or any
other man. But she might be able to charm him into changing his plans, or
at least revealing them.
Last night she’d antagonized him. Today, she meant to get to know him.
It was always best to know your adversary.
 She shrugged into her long down coat, thrust her feet into tall, furry
boots, and wrapped an extra blanket around Sara. Vamping would have to
wait until she was inside Zeke’s cabin. She wasn’t willing to freeze herself
to get on his good side.
She pounded on his door and then tickled Sara’s chin and kissed her. The
baby rewarded her with a loud and happy “da-da-da-da.”
Smiling into her niece’s wide blue-green eyes, Kendra felt another surge
of the mother-love that had started with Sara’s birth and intensified when
Kendra became fully responsible for her.
It was love mixed with equal parts pain and determination. Pain, because
Sara was all Kendra had left of her sister; and determination, because
Kendra’s mission in life had become breathtakingly clear—to provide a
good home for Sara and to give her a better childhood than she and her
sister had had.
She lifted her eyes to the cabin door that separated her from the new
obstacle she faced. He wasn’t answering, and she glanced around. She
noticed that all the windows were open, and was wondering why Zeke was
letting all the heat escape when he opened the door.
Kendra stifled a laugh at his wet, soot-covered jeans and the frazzled
expression on his face. He looked younger today, with his slightly shaggy
hair and unshaven stubble, and she let herself speculate for just a minute
about his age. Was he thirty? Older? He was wearing a t-shirt, and she
couldn’t help but notice the tattoo on his forearm. A cross, with some kind
of banner on it.
“Don’t bring her in yet,” he said, glancing back into the large room
behind him. “Most of the smoke has cleared, but it’s pretty cold in here.”
“Forget to open the damper?” she asked, trying to keep the laughter out
of her voice.
“Yeah. I’m airing it out.”
“What’s the white stuff?” she asked, indicating the inch-deep white foam
coating the floor.
“Well,” he said, frowning, “when I threw a couple pots of water onto the
fire to put it out, a lot of ashes came out onto the floor. So I decided to mop
the whole floor, since Sara will be crawling around on it, but I guess I used
too much soap.”
“I guess so. What kind did you use?”
 “Dish liquid, and since the floor looked dirty, I put a lot of it in the
bucket. Now, it doesn’t seem to want to rinse off. I guess you should come
back later, when I get it cleaned up in here. And warmer.”
“She’s all bundled up,” Kendra said. “Maybe we can help you out.”
“I guess you could sit on the counter,” he said. “Here, I’ll hold the baby
while you take off your boots.” He held out his arms for Sara and gripped
her stiffly, studying her with the curiosity of a scientist discovering a new
species.
Zeke looked a lot like his brother, and seeing him hold Garrett’s child,
however awkwardly, made Kendra’s throat tighten. She concentrated on her
boots, and a moment later she stood in the doorway in her stocking feet,
looking at the foamy wet floor between her and the counter.
“Here.” He handed the baby back to her. Before she realized what he was
planning, he’d swept her both her and Sara up into his arms, as if the
combined weight of them was nothing to him.
“Zeke, you can’t—” she protested, and then closed her mouth because it
was obvious that he could, in fact, carry them easily. Even swaddled in her
shin-length down coat, Sara in her arms, she could still feel his muscles
bulge. For a city businessman, he was strong.
She smelled his aftershave. Something spicy.
Swallowing hard, she tried to find something less appealing about Zeke
to focus on. At this close range, she saw a few white hairs mixed among the
short, dark, wavy ones and revised her estimate of his age. He might be as
old as thirty-five.
But he didn’t seem to be slowing down, she thought as he deposited them
gently on the counter. Though his breathing did come a little hard.
“Do you want to take your coat off, or leave it on for awhile?” he asked.
“I turned up the heat, but it’s still cool in here.”
“I’m plenty warm, I’ll take it off.”
He held out his arms for Sara, who went to him without protest. Only
when Kendra started wiggling out of her coat, and heard Zeke’s sharply
indrawn breath, did she remember her outfit and her plan.
She bent her head to hide her blush as she slid the coat out from under
her. The skirt hadn’t seemed this short when she was standing up, but now,
perched on the edge of the counter, it was almost indecent.
And Zeke was clearly noticing. His eyes were on her legs, and then they
did a slow scan up the rest of her. When they reached her face, they were
darker than they’d been.
It was what she wanted, wasn’t it? That he would look at her with desire?
And yet she felt ashamed, and she knew her face was red. What would her
wonderful, God-fearing aunts think if they could see her now? Had her
modesty gone the way of her faith? Was she on a slippery slope to a life of
sin, and if so, could she ever claw her way back to the peace and serenity
she’d once known?
She tried to close her mind against such disturbing thoughts. It was just a
strategy; she wasn’t going to act the way she was dressed. “Here,” she said,
and cleared the roughness from her throat. She held out her arms for the
baby. “She needs that blanket off. She’s too hot.”
“She’s not the only one,” Zeke said in an undertone. He handed her the
baby.
Kendra lowered her eyes and concentrated on Sara. Dressing
provocatively was a dumb plan if she was going to get all uptight. She had
to locate some of that cool, that confidence, that Cleo had always had in
quantity. Had to flirt, talk boldly, nudge at Zeke to find his weaknesses.
It went totally against her grain. But she was doing it for Sara. She kissed
the baby’s thin hair for comfort and then looked up at Zeke.
He stood before her, one eyebrow raised, head cocked to one side. She
had the feeling he’d never taken his eyes off of her, and she also had the
feeling that gears were spinning in his head.
“What’s on your mind, cowboy?” she asked, using one of Cleo’s lines.
He let out a bark of laughter. “You don’t want to know, lady.”
“Try me.”
He took a step closer, and before she could stop herself she’d scooted
away. “You’d better do something about that floor,” she said, hearing a
funny breathlessness in her voice, “before the soap suds dry.”
A smile quirked the side of his mouth, and suddenly she felt the gap of
years between them. While it was the first time she’d ever tried to attract
anyone, he’d probably experienced such efforts many times before. She had
an odd feeling that he might have seen though her game, even though
another masculine once-over and the tightening of a muscle in his cheek
told her she’d made at least some of the impact she’d wanted to make.
He looked hard into her eyes. Like he was trying to read her, and that she
didn’t want. She waved an imperious hand. “You need a broom to sweep up
the suds, and then you’ll have to mop with clear water a couple of times. If
you want to play with Sara before dinnertime, you’d better get started.”

Following her instructions, Zeke got the suds swept up. Then he used a
sponge and water until the pine floor gleamed, wet and fragrant.
Meanwhile, Kendra sat on the counter in that outrageous outfit and fed
Sara a bottle she’d retrieved from the pocket of her down coat.
She looked calm and collected now, oblivious to the misery she was
causing him.
Zeke had come to the mountain a man in control, ready to collect his
niece and go back to his own world, the business world where he felt
competent, even powerful. Now, he was literally and figuratively on his
knees before a young Jezebel who seemed happy to inflame his lust even as
she offered shrewd domestic advice about how to fix the mess he’d made.
He hated the fact that her seductive beauty so affected him. Having
traveled the world, he’d seen plenty of women dressed to attract men, and
though he felt the occasional stirring of desire, he could easily refocus on
his work. By international standards, Kendra’s outfit wasn’t even that
shocking.
But she was something else. With her wild red hair, her mile-long legs
and her innocent blushes, she pushed all his buttons.
He paused in his sponging and stole a glance at her, and she must have
noticed because she blushed yet again. Zeke frowned as he went back to
work, thinking.
What was strange about Kendra—strange, and oddly appealing—was
that she didn’t seem particularly experienced at the seductress role she was
trying to play. It brought out his protective side even as he resented how
easily she could send the blood pounding through his body with the
simplest smile, or just by crossing or uncrossing those magnificent legs.
He finished sponging and stood just as she crossed her legs again, and
Zeke had to stop himself from groaning aloud.
“If you bring over her playpen,” Kendra said, “we can start fixing up
your cabin.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He felt like a lowly serf. When had Kendra become the
queen?
He retrieved the playpen and set it up in a dry corner of the kitchen nook.
Trying to think straight, he said, “I’ll need to have some of her things over
here. A place for her to sleep, some diapers, and bottles.”
Kendra frowned. “It would be easier if you’d mostly visit with her in my
cabin.”
“Maybe,” he said. “But I want to get to know her on my own terms.”
She bit her lip. She had pretty lips, and pretty eyes, even when their
expression was worried. “I’m not sure—”
Zeke steeled himself against her beauty. “I’m her uncle. It’s only fair.”
“You’re not going to…run off with her, or anything, are you?”
“Of course not.”
She studied his face for a long moment. He felt like she was reading him,
judging his fitness as a caretaker, and he felt conquered by the maternal
wisdom in her eyes. “All right,” she said finally. “I’ll bring some stuff
over.”
“I’m going out to chop some wood,” he announced, and practically ran
out the door.

*****

Zeke came back in only after he’d chopped, split, and stacked huge piles
of wood by both their cabins. It took that long to work off the physical
agitation being in Kendra’s presence had caused him.
Every time he paused, some image came back to him.
Kendra, opening the door of her cabin this morning, her hair wild around
her shoulders and her eyes dreamy with sleep.
Kendra, perching on his countertop with those long, black-stocking-clad
legs hanging down, laughing as she directed him in cleaning up the soapy
mess he’d made. Or looking down at the peacefully suckling baby with
maternal adoration written on her face.
Kendra, mesmerizing him with her green eyes that seemed
simultaneously to hold the womanly wisdom of the ages and the shy naïveté
of a virgin huntress from Greek mythology.
For the first time in his life Zeke understood love at first sight, or rather
obsession at first sight. For years he’d schooled himself to run away from
any such temptation, because his parents’ loose lifestyle had taught him that
chasing physical passion without regard to morality led to nothing but
misery.
 His own rebellion had taken a different form. A stolen car, a light foray
into using drugs, and a more serious attempt at selling them had led him to
the program for budding delinquents that had changed his life.
In his personal life, he’d always had self-discipline. Women had their
place in his life, but he was in control. He’d always counseled his friends
and younger co-workers against pursuing intense attractions, knowing they
burned with the kind of heat that flared and then died out.
Now, suddenly, he could see why his sage advice had always been
ignored. This lightning bolt, when it struck, could knock the sense right out
of a man. Somehow Kendra had wrapped her spidery web around him, and
he was going to have to fight hard to escape.
Determined to do so, he strode into his cabin. And stopped still.
Kendra knelt beside an old-fashioned cradle by the fireplace. Her hair lay
loose around her shoulders, and her cheeks glowed pink.
Above the cradle, she’d hung a colorful mobile. Rattan shades softened
the sunlight pouring through the windows, and a plant in a clay pot dressed
up the simple dining table.
In just one morning she had turned an empty cabin into a home.
And Zeke wanted the whole package with a longing he’d never felt
before. A longing that was entirely misplaced and wrong. A longing that
went beyond physical temptation and made him question the decisions he’d
made about his life.
He looked away because the Madonna image she presented tugged at his
resolve to be cool and collected. He saw the spectacular-looking quilt she’d
put onto the double bed and strode over to study its starburst pattern of
yellow, orange, and brown. It looked like it should be in a museum, not on
his bed.
Hearing Kendra’s sock-muffled steps behind him, he turned.
“She’s sleeping,” she said in a hushed tone. “She usually takes a little nap
in the late morning.”
“Where did you get it?” he asked, gesturing at the quilt.
“I made it.”
“You’re kidding.” He studied it for another minute and then looked at
her. “It’s beautiful. It’s a work of art. You could sell it for a lot of money.”
“I know.” He saw her try to keep a proud smile off her face. “That’s what
I do. But this one—” She studied one corner critically “—has some
mistakes in it, so I just kept it.”
 “I bet no one else but you sees the mistakes. You could sell it anyway.”
She shook her head vehemently. “I don’t want any inferior work to get
out there with my name on it.”
“I understand.”
Their eyes met and held.
Zeke made himself look away. He didn’t want Kendra to become a
whole, complicated person in his mind, and he didn’t dare discover that
they shared similar attitudes about work or anything else. Looking around
the cabin, he made the first comment that came into his head. “Two days
ago I was in a hotel room in Hong Kong. I…this is a different world.”
“Why a hotel room?” she asked.
“That’s where I lived, while I was there.”
“But where was your home?”
“I didn’t have one.”
“Oh.” Something too much like pity shone in her eyes. “That must have
been lonely.”
He shook his head quickly. “No. There was always a lot to do. I was
hardly ever there.”
“Still,” she said, “not to have a place to relax and restore yourself… I
wonder how you stood it. I think a home is important.”
He shrugged. “I never had time for one.”
“How old are you?”
“Thirty-five.”
“Don’t you think it’s time to settle down?”
“For the baby’s sake, definitely.” And then, to steel himself against the
domestic appeal of Kendra Forrester talking about home, he added, “Don’t
worry about me. I have plenty of companionship.” He thought about
Christine and smiled. It was true; he did have at least one good friend.
Two fine lines appeared between Kendra’s brows. She drew in a deep
breath. Then she sat down on the bed, crossed her legs, and leaned back,
looking up at him. “Listen, Zeke, have you ever thought about just…
starting over?”
He studied her as his thoughts raced and his blood pounded. Did she
realize how seductive she looked? Was she asking what he thought she was
asking? “How do you mean?”
She shrugged. In her black sweater her shoulders moved, square but
skinny. “How do you think?”
 Their eyes met, and held. It was like they were trying to see into each
other. Zeke didn’t want to back down, and it was clear she felt the same
way.
He felt himself being drawn in, and he couldn’t stop it from happening.
He took a step toward her.
The lines between her eyebrows deepened. Her slim white fingers
grasped the quilt, bunching it in tight fists.
She was scared of him. Then why was she coming on to him?
With a lot of willpower Zeke managed to turn around. He strode over to
the window and looked out at the snow-covered pines, vivid against a bright
blue sky. He breathed, and prayed for an assist.
It came. He realized he had to be honest with her, and direct, and he
needed to stay across the room. “Look, Kendra,” he said without looking at
her, “I am starting over. When Garrett died, I realized I’d be called to
account someday too, and that I had some things to answer for. I’m trying
to make up for the fact that I didn’t help Garrett enough. I don’t want to
make the same mistake with little Sara.”
“So you want to atone for your sins by taking Sara away from the only
home she’s ever had? And…from me?”
The plaintive undertone in Kendra’s voice made Zeke turn around. She
wasn’t playing seductress anymore; she sat hunched forward on the bed,
arms wrapped around her skinny middle, staring down at the floor.
Her vulnerability was even more dangerous than her sensuality, because
it touched his heart. He caught a sudden empathic glimpse of how the last
twenty-four hours had looked from her viewpoint—a rich, powerful guy
had shown up out of nowhere to take away the baby she loved.
He shoved aside his sympathy. No matter how much he pitied Kendra,
her family background and her approach—as exemplified by the way she’d
dressed and acted today—weren’t things that should be passed on to Sara.
In some things, a man had to stand firm.
“There’s not much point in our discussing custody until the will is read,”
he said in his best “this meeting is over” tone of voice, hoping she’d get the
message and take her scantily clad little self out of his cabin.
After a few more hunched-over minutes, and a quick check of the
sleeping Sara, she did.
Zeke did his best not to notice the wet shininess in those big green eyes.
 CHAPTERTHREE

When he emerged from his cabin two days later to see Kendra in
animated conversation with a lanky, long-haired mountain man, Zeke was
shocked to find that he had to consciously relax his fists.
Yesterday he and Kendra had established a wary truce. She was cautious
and prickly, but she’d said he could set up his computer in her place to take
advantage of the stronger wifi signal, and she’d agreed to teach him the
rudiments of baby care. For his part, he’d decided to keep her in groceries
and wood. He figured it was the least he could do.
Kendra was back to jeans and full-coverage sweaters, and her demeanor
was subdued. It was a lot better for his blood pressure than the siren act.
Except that somehow, he’d started feeling a little possessive, like the man
of the house.
As the bearded guy turned back to his truck bed, reaching for a tool box,
Kendra saw Zeke standing there and walked over to him. “Come meet
Jimmy,” she said.
“One of your boyfriends?”
He meant to keep his tone light, but the words came out aggressive.
She’d already been turning toward Jimmy, but she looked over her shoulder
at Zeke. “What’s your problem?” she asked.
“Nothing. I guess I don’t need to worry about Sara having enough male
influences in her life.”
She stopped and faced him. “What’s that supposed to mean? You see one
guy up here and you think I’ve got a whole string of them?”
It would be worse, Zeke thought, if there was only one. One special one.
And then he wondered what that was supposed to mean. Why should it
matter to him?
“Never mind,” he said. “It’s none of my business.”
“You’ve got that right.” She turned and walked back toward Jimmy, now
striding toward the cabin with an easy familiarity. “Hey, Jimmy. Wait up. I
want you to meet somebody.”
The lanky guy turned, saw him, and put down his tool box. “Hey.”
 “Jimmy, this is Zeke King. Garrett’s brother. Zeke, meet Jimmy. He’s
from our village, and he’s been a friend of the family since forever.”
Zeke made himself shake the other man’s hand. He noticed that Jimmy
was studying him as suspiciously as he was studying Jimmy.
But Jimmy’s words were cordial enough. “Sorry about your brother, man.
You up for a visit to the baby?”
“In a manner of speaking.”
Kendra spoke up. “Zeke is actually staying up here for a…little while.”
“Is that right.” Jimmy looked from Zeke to Kendra and back again. His
heavy beard hid his expression.
“Not…I mean, he’s staying in Cabin B. Not with me.” Kendra’s cheeks
went pink.
Jimmy laughed, a big booming sound, and put a wiry arm around
Kendra. “Thought you were gonna surprise me, baby. I shouldda known.
Now, where’s that sweet little Sara?”
Following them into the cabin—not that he was invited, but something
compelled him to tag along—Zeke noticed that Jimmy didn’t withdraw his
arm from around Kendra. And she didn’t seem to mind. She laughed up at
him with a comfortable friendliness he’d not seen in her before.
Jimmy gave her shoulders a squeeze and ran a hand over those red curls
before letting her go and turning to Sara. There wasn’t a doubt in Zeke’s
mind that Jimmy was interested in Kendra as a woman. Just a friend of the
family? Right.
Jimmy approached Sara, swung her up in his arms a little too roughly for
Zeke’s taste, and gave her a big, smacking kiss. Zeke waited for the
squalling that would inevitably follow, but the baby laughed, and her cries
as Jimmy continued to play with her were ones of delight, not fear.
Something twisted inside Zeke as he watched the other man play with the
baby he’d already come to think of as his. Despite Jimmy’s apparent good
nature, Zeke didn’t like him. Not one bit.
But he recognized that jealousy caused at least part of his dislike.
Jealousy, coupled with remorse. While he’d been overseas making money
hand over fist, Jimmy had been here getting to know little Sara.
He looked at Kendra, who watched the interplay between Jimmy and the
baby with a little smile. The twisting in Zeke’s gut got worse.
Zeke was relieved when Jimmy left the cabin to work on Kendra’s car,
even though he didn’t especially like the idea of him helping her. He waited
until Jimmy was out the door, and then walked over to where Kendra was
changing Sara’s diaper. When she bent over to plant a kiss on Sara’s belly,
heat rose in him at the sight of her slim curves. He shoved it down,
disgusted with himself.
This time, at least, Kendra wasn’t trying to be provocative. This reaction
was about his own fleshly desires. He’d never felt them so strongly before,
but he knew he had the strength to fight the temptation. He wouldn’t
tolerate immorality, not even in his own thoughts.
He said the first non-physical thing that came into his head. “I thought
you didn’t accept charity.”
She straightened immediately. “What?”
Zeke came closer and watched as Kendra snapped up the baby’s onesie.
He was going to have to learn how to do that.
She picked Sara up and scooted away from him, taking her over to the
big braided rug and putting her down. “What did you say about charity?”
she asked, her voice frosty.
“I thought you didn’t accept it. So how come you’re letting Jimmy fix
your car?”
“Jimmy’s different.”
He’d been afraid of that. “You’ll take help from boyfriends, then?”
She glared at him. “Not that it’s any of your business, but Jimmy and I
grew up together. He helps me, I help him. It’s different when you’re poor,
Zeke. People need each other.”
“He seems pretty comfortable with Sara.”
“Uh-huh.” She moved a toy closer to Sara’s grasping hand.
“Are you sure you want him getting that attached to her?” He squatted on
the floor beside her and Sara.
“Zeke! You’ve been here three days. You barely know Sara, and you only
just met Jimmy. And now you think you’re welcome to make judgments?
Think again.”
“She’s my niece,” he said.
“Yes, and until this week you’ve never shown any interest in getting to
know her. She needs male role models, and Jimmy has always been around
for her. Sometimes more than your brother, if you want to know the truth.”
“What do you mean?” He sank the rest of the way down onto the floor
and tentatively dangled a colorful fuzzy block in front of Sara. She laughed
and grabbed for it.
 “It means Garrett wasn’t ready to get married and didn’t seem to have a
clue about how to be a family man. He acted single, not married.”
“That’s not a big surprise.” Zeke was thinking of how they’d grown up.
For the hundredth time, he wished Garrett had gotten sent to the Covenant
Academy along with him.
Kendra must have heard something in his voice, because she studied him
with curiosity before she went on. “He worked all the time, and went on ski
vacations and camping trips with his friends, while my sister stayed home
with Sara. It was hard on her.”
It sounded something like his parents’ marriage, at least in the earliest
days he could remember. After Garrett was born, but before his mother had
given up on his father.
He didn’t like thinking of those times, so he focused on Garrett, Cleo,
and their relationship. “Don’t paint her as a saint. I know better. She got
what she wanted out of Garrett, which was money, and she didn’t exactly
live like a nun when Garrett was gone.”
Kendra looked uneasy. “She did care for Garrett, a lot. I know she wasn’t
perfect, but I saw her crying over him so many times. She wouldn’t have
been so hurt by his neglect if she hadn’t truly loved him.”
Zeke started to protest, and then shut his mouth. Getting into an argument
over Garrett and Cleo’s relationship didn’t make sense. The only ones who
could resolve it were unable to speak up for themselves, in this world at
least.
“Anyway, Jimmy and I, and a few other old friends tried to help Cleo out.
She wasn’t the most domestic person, and it was hard for her raising a baby
practically alone.” She got up from her cross-legged position without even
using her hands—Lord, she was graceful—and blocked Sara’s attempt to
crawl toward the fire.
He swallowed. “That’s why Jimmy is so familiar with Sara.”
“He’s known her almost since she was born.” She knelt and put Sara into
her walker. “It’s a good thing, too. Even at this age, she acts different
around men and women, and men play differently with babies.”
“She’s got me.”
“For now,” Kendra said. Two lines appeared between her brows.
Jimmy came in then, banging through the front door, stomping the snow
off his big boots. “Your car’s gonna run better with clean oil,” he told
Kendra. “But it’s a piece of junk. You want me to look around for
something else for you?”
Kendra shook her head. “Not right now. Thanks a million for helping me
keep this one running.”
“No problem.” Jimmy took off his boots and coat, and Zeke debated
inside himself what to do.
He didn’t like Jimmy, and he was jealous of him, and it burned him to see
Jimmy helping Kendra. He already felt that was his job.
But he knew he should fight this feeling. He didn’t want to be over-
involved in Kendra’s life.
What he wanted was for Jimmy to leave. And then he’d leave too.
Jimmy, though, seemed to have other ideas. He sank down into the big
chair by the hearth, the one Zeke had already started to consider as his, and
put his feet up.
Kendra’s phone buzzed from the kitchen and she rose up to get it—again,
without using her hands.
A quick glance at Jimmy confirmed that he was equally aware of
Kendra’s grace, of how her jeans fit her willowy figure.
“So,” Jimmy asked over the murmur of Kendra’s voice in the kitchen,
“how long are you staying?”
“You mean tonight, or up here generally?”
“Up here.”
Zeke shrugged. “Not sure yet. I’ve got some business and legal issues to
figure out before I settle down.”
“Legal issues, huh?” Behind his relaxed pose, Zeke could see that the
other man was as tense as a scruffy-but-dangerous mountain lion, ready to
pounce.
He decided to provoke the lion, just to see what happened.
“I’m not sure what’s going to end up happening with the baby,” he said,
reaching over to stroke Sara’s head.
Jimmy sat upright. “What are the choices?”
“Kendra gets custody. Or I get custody.”
“But you’ve never been around.”
“I’m here now.” He looked evenly at the other man.

Kendra emerged from the kitchen to find Jimmy and Zeke glaring at each
other. It was curious how hostile they seemed toward each other, and she
couldn’t help wondering what it was all about, especially from Zeke’s
perspective. She fought the quick flare-up of vanity that suggested that
maybe, just maybe, he was jealous about Kendra having a close male
friend.
That was silly. Zeke King, sophisticated international businessman,
wasn’t interested in her. He wanted to take the baby and run.
She broke the tension. “Jimmy, it’s your mom. Said she couldn’t get you
on your phone, and she’s not doing too well.” She handed him her phone.
Jimmy frowned and then stood. “Okay, let me talk to her.” He took the
phone from her and stomped into the kitchen, and the cabin seemed to rock
with his heavy treads.
Kendra walked over to the fireplace area where Zeke sat protectively
near the baby. “What were you guys talking about?”
“Custody of Sara.”
“Mmmm.” She knew that was a hot topic for Zeke, but was surprised that
Jimmy found it so. “Well, look. He’s going to have to leave to take care of
his mom, and it would be a lot better if you left too. I don’t want him
thinking—”
“That you’ve got a new man?” he finished smoothly.
“No!” The thought of Zeke being her new man made Kendra’s face feel
hot. “I just don’t want him getting mad or feeling unwelcome, because I
need his help sometimes.” She realized that sounded selfish. “We both have
our burdens and problems, and like I said before, we help each other.”
Zeke looked almost angry, like he was going to yell at her. Then his lips
tightened and he closed his eyes briefly.
Kendra was pretty sure he was praying, one of those emergency thirty-
second prayers. She knew because she’d used to regain control of her
emotions the same way. Like a wound breaking open she felt her own inner
emptiness, the ache of something she’d had and lost, the pain of trust
betrayed. “All better?” she asked when he opened his eyes. The sarcasm of
her voice surprised her.
He raised his eyebrows but didn’t rise to her bait. “I do feel better,” he
said. “I guess you might already know this, but God can help you—even
with practical concerns.”
Kendra turned her face away. It was hard to speak around the tightness in
her throat. “Yeah, well, some of us don’t have time to wait around for God’s
help. Sometimes it’s too little, too late.”
 “Kendra.” He reached out and touched her chin, compelling her to look
back into those dark eyes, now full of sympathy. “God is never too late.”
“He was for my sister.”
“We don’t always understand His ways. That’s no reason to take
everything into our own hands.”
A wave of longing swept over Kendra. Partly it was a longing for a man
with this kind of certainty in the Lord. Before her sister’s marriage and
accident, she would have sworn that Zeke was exactly the kind of man she
was looking for.
Except, of course, Zeke was probably much like Garrett—one of those
rich, powerful males not to be trusted. Just another example of God’s sense
of humor, dangling something in front of her that she couldn’t have. “I’ve
relied on myself for a long time,” she said, tasting bitterness and not caring.
“Myself and my own kind. Like Jimmy.”
Jimmy emerged from the kitchen and Kendra broke off her words. As she
started to stand, Zeke let his hand fall away from her face. But he was still
staring at her with those burning eyes.
“I gotta go home to Mom, babe,” Jimmy said. He came over and put an
arm loosely around her shoulders. “You gonna be okay here?”
This is real, she told herself. This comforting, big brother stuff is real.
Not Zeke King with those soulful eyes and the passion of Christ in his voice.
“I’ll be fine,” she said, putting an arm around Jimmy’s waist. “Zeke was
just leaving. Right?”
Zeke stood, and she saw a muscle twitch in his jaw. So she’d hurt his
feelings, or maybe his male pride, by dismissing him in front of Jimmy.
Good. Maybe he and his God-talk would stay away now.
She busied herself with Sara while the men put on boots and coats. Then
there was one of those weird male competitions at the door.
“After you, my man.” Jimmy’s voice was friendly, but firm. He was
claiming his turf.
Zeke gave her a concerned look, and turned. “Goodnight.”
Kendra felt a funny, unexpected ache in her chest. She didn’t want him to
be the first to leave. She didn’t want to be alone with Jimmy.
But Jimmy is what you get, she reminded herself. There’s nothing wrong
with a friend like Jimmy.
Zeke got halfway out the door, then turned back. “Kendra, I’ll be over
tomorrow to check my e-mail and pick up Sara, if you don’t mind.”
 “Sure.” She tamped down the surge of happiness in her heart and hoped it
didn’t show in her voice.
Zeke tramped off down the path toward his cabin. Kendra stared after
him.
Instead of following Zeke, Jimmy closed the door and then turned to her.
“Put the baby down,” he said. “I want a real hug.”
“But she’s half asleep. If I keep holding her—”
“Put her down, she’ll be fine.”
And it was true; Sara’s eyes were closing, and she was that beautiful
breed of baby who could often go to sleep on her own. Kendra tightened her
lips and walked over to Sara’s crib, wondering at the drag in her step and
the heaviness in her heart.
Jimmy came back into the center of the room and when she turned, he
was holding out his arms. She went to him and focused on his strength, on
the comfort of an old friend.
He stroked her hair. He’d done that before. But then he did something
new—he cupped her chin to turn her face upward toward his.
He was going to kiss her.
It was the last thing she wanted. What had gotten into Jimmy? She
pushed at his chest and shrugged and wiggled away from him. “Didn’t you
say your mom needs you at home?”
“Kendra—”
“What?”
Jimmy sighed. “Yeah. Right. See you later.”

From the cold porch of his cabin, Zeke saw Jimmy hold out his arms to
Kendra, visible as a stage play through the lighted windows of Kendra’s
cabin.
He watched her go to him, and then he turned away and went inside.
Turmoil rocked his heart. It was confirmation that she was involved with
Jimmy, and he waited for the satisfaction. His guess had been right, his
judgment of her morality accurate. She had acted seductive with Zeke one
day, and kissed this so-called family friend just two days later.
He was right to pursue custody of Sara, and to make sure she was raised
in a home with strong values.
Still, he felt agitated, angry, wild. He wanted to go back to Kendra’s
house and pull her away from Jimmy. He had to force himself to close his
curtains without looking again at the scene in the window of her cabin.
He busied himself with building a fire in the wood stove. But even after
he’d heard with relief the sound of Jimmy’s truck starting up, his body
wouldn’t settle down.
Finally, next to the bed beautified by Kendra’s starburst quilt, he sank to
his knees and prayed—for deliverance from desires of the flesh and for
guidance about how to handle staying up here until the legal process took
over.
He felt an inkling of the peace that usually came to him in prayer, but
there was another feeling too. It seemed to be the divine And?
He sighed, and squeezed his eyes shut, and waited. A vision of Kendra
came to him again. This time, though, it wasn’t a vision to arouse his
passions, but a memory of her bitter voice and angry eyes as she’d spoken
her frustration against God: “Some of us don’t have time to wait around for
God’s help.”
“Help her anyway, Lord,” he prayed. “Lead her into Your will. Draw her
back to You.”
There it was again: And?
He sighed. “And if you need an instrument, Lord…I’m here.”
 CHAPTER FOUR

“If we’re going to spend time together,” Zeke said five minutes after he’d
come into her cabin Monday morning, “we’re going to have to set some
guidelines.”
Kendra felt heat rise from her neck to her hairline. Was she that easy to
read? Did he know she’d had trouble keeping her mind off him? Had he
heard her inner wolf-whistle at how good he looked in jeans and a flannel
shirt? He’d been up here less than a week and already he looked more like a
mountain man than the international entrepreneur he was.
She hoped he didn’t feel he needed guidelines to protect himself from
her, for heaven’s sake. Although considering the foolish way she’d tried to
break down his guard with a miniskirt, maybe he did feel the need for
protection.
“What do you mean, guidelines?” she asked in what she hoped was a
neutral voice.
“Well.” He rose from where he’d been crouched by the small, rough-
hewn table that served as a desk, flipped open his laptop, and pushed the
startup button. “I can see why it makes more sense for me to take care of
Sara here than at my cabin. If I don’t, we’ll be carting her toys and food and
whatever else she needs back and forth all the time. But you have to let me
take care of her. No changing her diapers yourself.”
Relieved, she studied him. “Have you ever changed a diaper?”
“No, I haven’t. But I’m a fast learner.”
“I’m not a half-bad teacher.”
Their eyes held for a fraction of a second longer than normal, and
Kendra’s breath caught.
Shaking his head a little, Zeke turned toward his computer. “Thanks for
letting me set up in here. It’s hard to believe your guests don’t demand wifi
in the cabins.”
“Mostly they want to get away from it.” She leaned closer, conscious of
the spicy scent of his aftershave. “What’s that site?”
“It’s a site for entertainers. Like Facebook, only private..” He clicked on
a link, and immediately the screen filled with a picture of Zeke and a
beautiful blonde about his age, in formal clothes. They were emerging from
a limo, and Zeke’s hand was on the small of the woman’s back.
The almost physical pain that coursed through Kendra had nothing to do
with her logical mind, which was busy telling her how nice it was that Zeke
had a special friend.
Zeke scrolled through the comments, pausing at one. “Looks like they
caught us again! What a fun night.”
Kendra knew she should say something, but couldn’t.
Zeke didn’t seem to notice anything wrong. “Christine’s a singer, and the
picture’s from a music awards ceremony. She won Best Gospel Musician
that night.”
“How does she feel about Sara?”
Zeke looked up at her, confusion on his face. “About…Sara?”
“Yes, Sara. You know, the niece that you’re trying to get custody of?”
“Oh.” Zeke thought for a minute. “Well…Christine loves babies.”
From Sara’s crib, a thin little wail provided a distraction. Grateful,
Kendra hurried away from Zeke and his computer full of messages from his
glamorous girlfriend. There was no good reason to feel so hot and irritated.
Naturally Zeke had a social life, and if it was serious, so much the better.
Kendra wasn’t interested in Zeke or any other man, and the sooner her heart
caught up with her head about that, the better. This baby-loving Christine
might just help speed up the process.
As soon as she reached out for the baby she felt a large hand on her
shoulder. “Hang on. I’m supposed to be taking care of her, remember? I’ll
pick her up.”
At least he didn’t shove her away from the crib, but waited for her to step
back.
Sara wailed.
Zeke picked her up and held her at arm’s length as her cries increased in
volume. “What’s wrong with her? Does she need a diaper change?”
The apprehension in his voice provided a welcome distraction from her
confusing feelings. “I doubt it, but maybe. Or maybe she just needs to be
held closer.”
“Like this?” Zeke settled her against his shoulder and jostled her gently.
“Yeah, that’s good. And talk to her.” She paused, then reached out to
touch the tattoo on his forearm. “Or talk to me. What’s this for?”
 He looked down at his tattoo and shook his head. “Just…something I did
as a teenager.”
“What’s it say?” She leaned closer to read the writing on either side of
the cross. “Sacred Bond?”
“Yeah.” He didn’t seem to want to talk about it. Instead, he focused on
the baby, murmuring sweet nothings in his deep, rumbling voice, Sara
stopped crying and strained back to see him.
“She’s curious about you. In fact, maybe…” She broke off.
“What?” Zeke carried Sara over to the big chair by the fireplace and
settled her on his knee.
Kendra swallowed and sank down onto the loveseat across from the
chair. “Maybe she kind of recognizes you. You do look a lot like her daddy,
especially in those clothes.”
Zeke’s mouth twisted a little as he looked at the baby, and his eyes
reflected his grief at losing his brother. But, man-like, he changed the
subject. “Do you look like her mother?”
“Some.”
“She was pretty then.”
Kendra shrugged and blushed. “Yeah. She was.”
A while later she was showing Zeke how to feed Sara lunch—and
laughing at the mess they were making—when the sound of a vehicle
outside made them both pause.
“Who’s that? Jimmy?” Zeke asked in a voice that sounded carefully
noncommittal.
“Jimmy’s not my only friend.”
“Oh, right. I—of course, you’re probably very popular.”
He made it sound dirty. “I didn’t mean men,” she said as she headed for
the door.
But it was a man, and one she didn’t particularly want to see—the pastor
from her church, Tom Framer. She ushered him in and introduced him to
Zeke. “Zeke is staying over in Cabin B for a few days to get to know Sara,”
she said, wanting to clarify to her pastor—her former pastor—that she
hadn’t fallen away that much, that she wasn’t living in sin.
Pastor Tom tickled the baby while Kendra poured him coffee, and then he
beckoned her to a chair by the fire beside him. When she glanced over at
Zeke, still feeding the baby, she could tell he was listening. In fact, he
caught her looking and offered to leave.
 “No, that’s okay,” she said. “We won’t be long.” And then, noticing the
minister’s raised eyebrows, she quickly amended her statement. “Or will
we? I mean, I’m sure you’re really busy.”
“Not too busy to let you know how much we miss you at church,” he
said. “I wanted to stop by to see if you needed anything.”
“No, I’m fine,” she said. “Like I told you when you called earlier.”
He smiled. “I’m sorry to just drop by,” he said, “but I had a feeling that if
I called again, you’d be too busy for a visit.”
“Oh.” So he’d seen through her excuses.
“Since it is a drop in, I’ll be brief. Kendra, we’d like to see you come
back to church. You’ve been through a very difficult time and the people at
Mount Zion want to help you. More than that, God wants to help you. We
can’t get through these losses and stresses alone.”
She didn’t want to talk about it, really couldn’t talk about it for the lump
in her throat. She swallowed hard, nodded. “I’ll try. My car…” She
shrugged.
“Bob and Anne Nelson would be glad to stop by and pick you up. I asked
them.”
“Thanks but…I don’t want to put them out.”
“They love you like a daughter. It would be their pleasure.”
“I’ll think about it.” She stared at the floor. “I’m sorry, Tom, but…I’m
just not ready to come back yet.”
“Everyone at Mount Zion is waiting to welcome you, Kendra. And so is
He.” Tom leaned forward and took her hand. “How about a prayer?”
While he prayed, Kendra tried to be openhearted, but she felt nothing.
She was relieved when the minister said his goodbyes and left.
Then it was just her and Zeke, and he was studying her with curiosity.
“What are you looking at?” she asked. Without waiting for an answer she
marched over to Sara’s highchair and unstrapped her.
Sara began to cry.
“I’ll take her,” Zeke said. “What does she need?”
“Diaper change?” Kendra guessed.
“Okay…show me how.”
So she did, and the comfort of being with Sara, and the humor of Zeke’s
clumsy fumbling with wipes and diaper tabs, helped to ease the pain in her
heart.
 When they settled on the rug in front of the fire to play with Sara, Zeke
gave her another curious look. “So you used to be a regular churchgoer,” he
said, the statement more like a question.
“Surprised?”
He shrugged. “It just didn’t fit my impression of you. Or rather, my
impression of your sister that I got from Garrett.”
“Cleo wasn’t a believer.” She almost choked on the words.
“No. Neither was Garrett, as far as I know.” His voice was sad, and it was
that sadness that let her continue.
“I talked to Cleo, prayed for her, gave her a Bible. I even dragged her to
church sometimes.” She reached for Sara’s favorite doll and put it within
the baby’s reach. “Every once in a while, I thought I saw some progress.
But then she’d go off partying and forget all about it. Or she’d get mad at
how Garrett treated her and blame it on God.”
“She knew He was there, then.”
“Yeah, I guess. But she wasn’t at peace with Him.”
“So you’ve decided you won’t be either.”
“It’s not that!” Annoyed, Kendra busied herself putting together a series
of stacking cups.
Sara grabbed them and flung them to the floor, chortling. Then she
looked at Kendra.
“Oh, all right, little lady.” Kendra collected the stacking cups again,
thankful that Sara provided such joy, unconditional love, and a chance to
live in the moment.
“Kendra?”
“What?” She concentrated on the cups.
He sounded more hesitant than usual. “I just…wanted to add my two
cents to what the preacher said. You should go back to church. To God. I
doubt if you’ll ever find peace without Him.”
Didn’t she know it. Every day had been restless, malcontent, and lonely
since she’d lost her center, her spiritual rock.
“Look, I’m no theologian, and I don’t know how to put my faith into
pretty words, but I do know I couldn’t get through a day without His help.
Even right now…” He paused. “I’ve been feeling…troubled. Confused. But
I have a place to go with it.”
She knocked the stacking cups over herself, making Sara laugh. “Well,
aren’t you lucky.”
 “It’s not luck. All you have to do is turn to Him of your own accord.”
“Just let go of it, will you?” When her phone buzzed, Kendra practically
leapt to get it. “Hey, Jimmy!” She was so glad to hear his voice. Someone
who wouldn’t be preaching at her. Her relief made her warmer than she
normally was with Jimmy, and by the time she’d hung up she’d agreed to
come down to his place for dinner.
She turned away from the phone to find Zeke watching her, his eyes
burning. “Plans for tonight?”
“Is there some kind of a problem with that?”
“No, but I’d like to know. I assume you’ll want me to take care of Sara.”
She shrugged. “Jimmy has no problem with Sara.”
“That’s all right, I’ll watch her. It’s probably better that way.” His
expression tightened. “Will you be out all night?”
Kendra stared at him for a minute and then turned away, wondering at the
tears that burned the backs of her eyes. It must be that emotional time of
month for her. Normally she didn’t get upset about people’s assumptions.
But there was something about Zeke, something about this godly man
who assumed she was lost and fallen, that made her heart feel like it was
breaking.
She hardened herself. Zeke was from another world, a world of the
wealthy who made snap judgments about those less blessed. The sooner he
left her alone and got back to that world—and back to his glamorous
gospel-singing girlfriend—the better for all concerned.
She had no use for a friend, let alone a partner, who made her feel less
than adequate—for her background, her failings of faith, or her supposed
immorality. Jimmy, for all his faults, didn’t judge her. The fact that his
embrace left her cold, while Zeke only had to sit close to her to send heat all
the way to her heart, was just another one of life’s cruel jokes.
“Kendra? How late will you—”
Some defiant part of her wouldn’t let her clarify her relationship with
Jimmy. She kept her eyes averted. “You’d better plan to keep Sara all
night.”

*****

That night, Zeke couldn’t sleep.

 And half of it was his own fault. He’d insisted on staying in Kendra’s
cabin, because Sara was more comfortable there, and because he could
work online while she slept.
But now he was surrounded by Kendra’s colorful, fascinating world. A
world that magnetized him. And Kendra was with another man.
He forced himself to turn to his computer, checking his social media
sites. When he saw a posting from his childhood friend, Rock, about his
new program for inner-city teenagers, he impulsively clicked through and
made a donation. That led to checking on what his other two Sacred Bond
brothers were up to. Jason was still doctoring in Central America, from the
looks of things, and Daniel seemed to be breaking away from the
entertainment industry to work with nonprofits. Everyone doing something
worthwhile with their lives, fulfilling the bond. Unlike him.
He clicked away to another site, saw the posting from Christine again.
And that brought his thinking back to Kendra.
When she had seen the picture of him and Christine, she must have
jumped to the conclusion that Christine was his girlfriend, considering her
question about how Christine felt about Sara. He didn’t know why he was
surprised. He and Christine had been friends for so many years, and had
escorted each other to so many functions, that many people in their circle
thought of them as a couple.
They liked it that way, because they both had reasons for wanting to
remain single. An assumed serious partner tended to keep the wolves—male
or female—from the door.
But when Kendra made the assumption, he had been surprised, and he
realized it was because he’d gotten so far away from his usual guardedness.
Around Kendra, he felt his lack of a partner too keenly, and the not-too-
smart part of him had nominated Kendra to fill the vacancy in his heart.
That same dumb-but-honest part made him want to clarify it all to
Kendra, to assure her that he and Christine were purely platonic friends.
But that would be silly. He and Christine had talked often about how
blessed they were to have found each other, how God must have led them
together to help them navigate the challenging waters of Christian single
life. Kendra was exactly the kind of challenge Christine could help him
with.
After he realized he was looking at the clock for the hundredth time and
wondering what Kendra was doing with Jimmy, he decided he needed a
break from the intense feelings he’d been having around Kendra. He
checked online for Christine’s concert schedule, and when he discovered
that she would be in Denver in two weeks, he made a decision.
He’d go to her concert, and if such a visit helped Kendra’s illusion that he
was involved with someone else, so much the better. Maybe spending time
away would help him get over his inappropriate obsession with a certain
red-haired, fallen wood sprite.
 CHAPTER FIVE

“What do you think the will said? Why did Louise want us to come down
to Boulder?” Kendra knew Zeke didn’t know the answers, but she couldn’t
seem to halt her nervous questions. “If she found the will, why couldn’t we
just go to her home office up in the village to find out what it said?”
She looked over at Zeke as he locked the truck. He had been angry about
her evening with Jimmy, and when she’d come home late, he’d been
unsuccessful at hiding his disapproval. Obviously, in his mind it marked her
as a fallen woman.
How could she win? In Zeke’s mind, she was too loose; in Jimmy’s, she
was too uptight.
Meanwhile, she herself just felt confused and lost.
Zeke turned back toward her and they started down Boulder’s open-air
pedestrian mall toward the café where Louise was to meet them.
“There’s your answer,” Zeke volunteered suddenly, gesturing ahead
toward a large building.
“Answer to what?”
“Why we’re meeting down here. That’s the courthouse.”
“The courthouse?” Kendra stopped, confused.
Zeke continued on a few paces, then turned back. “Yes, the courthouse,”
he said as if she were exceptionally slow. “Didn’t the lawyer mention a
hearing?”
“Sure, but I thought…” Kendra started walking again, but slowly. “I
don’t know, I thought the will would just be read, and then we’d go home. I
thought she’d do it in the café. That’s why I couldn’t understand why we
couldn’t bring Sara…”
“You don’t have much experience with the legal process, do you?”
“No, why should I?” she snapped. “I’ve never had any dealings with the
law. Have you?”
“Quite a lot. Most business owners do.”
“Oh.” She’d thought he was implying she was some kind of criminal or
something. Another black spot on her already tainted image. “But why the
courthouse? Why would we need a hearing if custody is already laid out in
the will?”
Zeke’s jaw muscle twitched again. She thought he looked a little guilty,
but why would that be? “Let’s just see what the lawyer has to say.”
Once they’d sat down in the small café near the courthouse with Louise
and made preliminary introductions, the older woman opened her briefcase
and pulled out a file folder, frowning. “When I got home from my trip
abroad and learned that this revised will was in Cleo and Garrett’s safe
deposit box, I was…a little disconcerted. I would have discouraged this
type of arrangement, but they made the amendment privately, with
witnesses. And then, Zeke, when I found your letter in the mail informing
me that you’d initiated custody proceedings…”
“What do you mean?” Kendra almost got whiplash from turning so
quickly to look at Zeke. Now his expression was definitely guilty.
Louise put a hand on Kendra’s. “Why don’t you let me tell you what’s
going on, and then if Zeke wants to answer any more questions, he can.”
Louise’s voice was gentle, but Kendra still stared at Zeke.
“Here’s the situation,” Louise continued. “I’m going to tell you what the
will says. Then, the court will decide what’s in the best interests of the
child. Since Zeke has filed for custody, there will be a preliminary hearing
today, very informal, just trying to get the facts and make a temporary plan.
We’ll move later to a final hearing, or a full trial if it becomes necessary,
which I hope it won’t.”
“Why don’t we just do what the will says?” Kendra asked.
“The will only expresses the parents’ preferences. The court decides.”
“Did you know that?” Kendra asked Zeke.
He nodded, still looking a little uncomfortable. As well he should,
considering that he’d never mentioned it as they’d talked about waiting for
the will to be found.
Louise glanced at her watch. “We’d better get started, because we have
an appointment across the street in half an hour.”
She slipped on a pair of half-glasses, studied the top paper in the folder
she’d opened, and then looked at the pair of them over the top of her
glasses. “I’m going to tell you first about the arrangement I worked out with
the two of them, and then I’ll tell you about the change they made.”
“Fine. Let’s get on with it.” Zeke’s voice was impatient.
 Louise gave him a quelling glare. “Essentially, the arrangement was
supposed to be this—the two of you get joint custody if you’re able to work
out a mutually agreeable arrangement that doesn’t involve Sara traveling
too far.”
“Joint custody?” Kendra squeaked.
“How far is too far?” Zeke asked.
“Too far is—” Louise studied the pages in front of her “—thirty miles.”
Zeke stared at her, looking stunned.
Kendra’s voice sounded unnaturally high, even to her. “Zeke’s got an
international business and he travels for that. How could we possibly do
joint custody?”
“I don’t travel much anymore. But what happens if we can’t work out an
arrangement?” Zeke asked. “Who gets her?”
Louise studied them. “That’s the new twist. If you two can’t come to
terms, then they’ve expressed a preference that custody goes to a James R.
Smith.”
“Jimmy,” Kendra breathed.
“That’s right.”
Zeke jumped out of his chair, earning the stares of the café’s other
patrons, and then sat back down. “Why on earth would they do that? He’s
no relation. He’s…” He turned to Kendra, looking suddenly suspicious.
“Are you engaged to him or something? How long have you two been an
item?”
“We’re not an item, Zeke. He’s been a friend of the family for years,
that’s all. He’s spent a lot of time with Sara.”
She didn’t say, and you haven’t, but she thought it, and from the look on
Zeke’s face, he got the message.
“He’s not fit!” Zeke protested.
“He’s perfectly fit.” Kendra straightened in her chair and glared at him.
“He loves her, and he knows a lot about babies.”
Zeke looked agitated, and some mean part of Kendra couldn’t help
feeling glad. Obviously, he’d known the preferences in the will weren’t
binding, and he knew a lot about the legal system. But the inclusion of
Jimmy was throwing his plans for a loop.
“Is this legal?” he asked Louise.
“People can say whatever they want in their wills,” Louise said. “As their
lawyer, I recommended that they name one person to be the custodian of the
child, but they wanted joint custody. They were very definite about that.”
“Do you know any more about their reasoning, Louise?” Zeke asked. His
voice sounded tight but controlled.
“I know some of it. Your brother was adamant about your involvement.
In fact, there was a point in the process when Cleo wanted to name Kendra
as sole guardian. Only if that didn’t prove feasible were you to be called
in.”
He looked like he wasn’t sure whether to probe further, but to his credit,
he did. “Why?”
Louise twirled a salt shaker before meeting his eyes. “Cleo maintained
that you’d never shown an interest in the child, and wouldn’t be likely to
start in the event of their deaths.”
Zeke sank down into the chair, his face sagging.
“Your brother had more faith in you. He insisted that if needed, you
would come and make whatever adjustments to your life that were needed.
He apparently had some experience with your protective side.” She paused,
then continued. “The other point Garrett brought up was your faith, Zeke.
He felt Sara would do better in a strong Christian home, and that’s what you
would provide. Of course, they talked about Kendra’s faith too, but
apparently Garrett though Zeke was a little more—” she hesitated, “—
zealous, I guess would be the word.”
“No kidding,” Kendra said. “I’d have thought that would be a strike
against Zeke, as far as Garrett was concerned.”
“People’s values can change when they’re thinking about their children.”
Louise started putting papers back into her briefcase. “Now, their reasons
for including James Smith in the mix, I don’t know. That was a later
addition, as I’ve said, and I certainly would have discouraged their
complicating matters this way. But since they did make the change, I’ve
asked that he be included in this preliminary hearing, which starts in…
fifteen minutes. We’d better get over there.”

*****

Most of the hearing was a blur to Zeke. The court-appointed officer, a

polite, patient-acting Hispanic man who seemed way too young to have a
law degree, droned on about home visits and psychological assessments,
how the court would send its own experts unless any of the individuals
involved wanted to hire and bring in their own.
Zeke couldn’t stop his racing thoughts long enough to listen closely. Why
would Garrett have agreed to even the possibility of having his daughter
raised by a man like Jimmy? Was Zeke totally misjudging the other man,
his feelings about Kendra getting in the way of his normally excellent
perceptions about people?
Or had his brother changed beyond recognition during the years Zeke had
been overseas, to the point where a man like Jimmy was truly admirable to
him? Or had Cleo, Kendra, and Jimmy somehow bamboozled Garrett?
No matter. The important fact was that Jimmy was now part of the
problem and they all had to deal with it. And although Zeke occasionally
felt uncertain about trying to take the baby away from Kendra, he had no
compunction whatsoever about keeping her away from Jimmy, no matter
what means were necessary.
Of course, he wasn’t the only one who wanted something, whose mind
was racing during this hearing. Jimmy sat frowning and cracking his
knuckles, and Zeke could make a pretty good guess about his thoughts.
Jimmy obviously wanted Kendra, and he seemed to want the baby too, for
some unknown reason. Maybe because through Sara, he knew he’d get a
big piece of Kendra as well.
No doubt about it, Jimmy would try to dissuade Kendra from cooperating
with him in making a custody arrangement. That way, Jimmy would get the
baby and Kendra too.
Zeke snapped back to attention when the hearing officer asked each of
them to talk about their history with Sara. As each of them spoke, Zeke felt
his disadvantage acutely. Jimmy and Kendra had known her so much
longer, and, he had to admit, had shown so much more concern for her.
If he wanted to win this case—and he did, because he’d promised himself
and God that he’d take care of Sara—he’d have to compensate with what he
did have: the ability to bring in his own expert witnesses and crack legal
team, who’d show definitively that he was the most suited to raising Sara
right.
The hearing officer started bringing things to a close. “It seems to me,”
he said, “that the best thing to do is leave the baby where she is for now,
while we go through the information-gathering stage. As long as you agree,
Kendra, that these two men are allowed to visit the baby? Any problems
with that?”
Kendra bit her lip. “No,” she said after a short pause. “No, of course,
that’s fine.”
“You’re sure?” the officer said. “Because if you’re uncomfortable with
either of them coming into your home, we can arrange for visitation at a
neutral site, under the court’s supervision.”
Zeke looked hard at Kendra, willing her to take the officer up on the offer
in regards to Jimmy. But of course, she might very well decide to do the
same thing with him.
“No, it’s fine.”
“Since the parents’ preference was a joint custody arrangement between
the two blood relatives, the two of you can try to make that type of plan, if
you’re interested. I have to tell you, most judges prefer to give custody to
one individual, but there’s no harm in trying to draw something up if that’s
what you want.”
“We’ll talk about it,” Zeke said.
Kendra still looked worried. “Do you recommend…I mean, should we all
have lawyers?”
“That’s up to you.”
“But what about…” She drew in a breath and straightened up. “Look, he
—” She nodded toward Zeke “—can afford as many lawyers as he wants,
but I can’t. Is there any way I can get help with that?”
The young officer nodded. “I can send you a list of local lawyers who do
pro bono work. But,” he paused delicately, “it’s a short list, and I
wouldn’t…” He paused again.
“What?” Kendra asked.
“I would advise you to still work on making a case yourself. Lawyers
can’t always put a lot of time into their charity cases.”
Kendra winced and Zeke did too. “Just what I always wanted, to be a
charity case,” she muttered.
Zeke shot a quick look at Jimmy, knowing he probably couldn’t afford
legal assistance either. But to his surprise, the other man looked calm and
confident. What ace did he have up his sleeve?
The officer nodded. “You can ask for the list at the clerk’s desk. We’ll
have a judicial custody conference in—” He flipped through a desk
calendar “—looks like we can do it two weeks from today. You don’t attend
the JCC, it’s a conference of attorneys, counselors, and any outside experts
you’ve retained, myself, and of course, the judge. Hopefully, that will be all
we need to do.” He looked at each of them. “Are we all agreed?”
They nodded and left the hearing room. In the lobby, they gathered in an
awkward knot.
“This is all so weird,” Kendra said. “Jimmy, are you sure you even want
custody?”
“You bet I do, even though I hate all the counselors and shrinks gettin’ in
my business.”
“Something to hide?” Zeke couldn’t resist asking.
Jimmy looked at him evenly. “Nope. Just a case of good old-fashioned
American independence. You got a problem with that?”
“Come on, guys, don’t fight,” Kendra said, looking like she carried the
weight of the world on her shoulders.
“Can I talk to you privately?” Jimmy asked.
“What time is it?” Kendra asked, and then she spotted a wall clock. “You
know what, I’m supposed to pick Sara up and then it’s my day to work at
the artist’s co-op in the village.”
“Need a ride?”
“She’s riding with me,” Zeke said in his best case-closed voice.
“But we can talk for a few minutes,” she said to Jimmy, shooting a frown
Zeke’s way.
Zeke watched them talk, and to keep himself from being angry, he came
up with a plan. He was going to make a reasonable effort to work out an
agreement with Kendra—and the sooner the better, before Jimmy poisoned
her with his venom.
Meanwhile, he needed to keep his options open, because Kendra was a
lapsed believer with questionable values. He had to be careful about
binding himself to such a person, even in a joint custody agreement that had
no emotional component. He’d seen firsthand how weak, passion-centered
parental values could destroy a family.
That meant turning loose his lawyers, and getting them to find the right
experts who’d be able to testify on Zeke’s behalf. Which meant testifying
against Kendra and Jimmy, in all probability.
He shoved down his guilt about that, about the advantages his money and
power gave him. He would try to work it out with Kendra, he really would.
And then, whatever happened would be the right answer. As for the turmoil
inside him, he’d have to get over it.
Their ride up the mountain was silent. Once they got to the Pine
Mountain artist’s co-op, Kendra busied herself behind the counter, fussing
with bags and tissue paper, straightening what didn’t need to be
straightened.
Zeke put Sara carefully into the playpen and got her occupied with a set
of plastic blocks. But as soon as she was settled he found himself
approaching the counter. “What’s your relationship with Jimmy?” he
demanded. “Are the two of you together, or not?”
She squatted down to straighten the hangers in a box below the counter,
so he had to lean over to see her. She muttered something he couldn’t hear.
“What?”
She stood quickly and he was so close he could smell the citrus fragrance
of her shampoo. He inhaled and got lost, off track. Her curls were so thick
and shiny.
With her body totally still, Kendra lifted her eyes to meet his and their
faces were mere inches apart. He heard her draw in a quick breath and his
heart pounded thick in his chest.
She backed away. “Geez, you and Jimmy both. I wish you guys would
quit looming over me.”
Being lumped with Jimmy hurt his feelings. “Maybe you’re doing
something to invite it.”
“Oh, so it’s my fault.”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged, spread his hands. “I can’t tell if you like
Jimmy’s attention or not.”
“It’s too complicated for a judgmental person like you to understand.”
“Judgmental? Is that how you see me?”
She looked at him as if she couldn’t believe he’d question it. “Of course
you’re judgmental, Zeke. You’d condemned me the moment you came up to
the cabin. You’d decided that Cleo was a fallen woman and I was, too.”
“That’s not exactly…right.”
“Isn’t it?” She approached him, hands on hips. “What about last night?
Didn’t you assume right away I was going to spend the night at Jimmy’s?”
“Well, you said…”
“I said it after you made your opinion of me clear. I—oh, never mind.”
 A customer walked in, and then another, and Zeke was left to ponder
what she’d said. He had to admit that she was right, he had judged her. But
he was pretty sure he’d judged her correctly. Okay, she hadn’t stayed out all
night, but she’d not gotten home until the wee hours. And his mind’s eye
couldn’t forget the details; she’d looked flushed, mussed, and rumpled. Like
she’d been making love, or close to it.
“I work a four-hour shift. You don’t have to stay.” Her voice, from behind
the rack of clothes she was straightening, sounded cool. Through the
window, late-afternoon sunshine slanted through a break in the cloud cover.
Zeke realized he had to know. “You never answered my question before.”
“What question?”
“Whether you and Jimmy are together.”
“Why does it matter to you?”
He approached her, but not too close. “That should be obvious,” he said.
“If you’re with him, then you won’t put an effort into making joint custody
work with me, because you’ll have the baby regardless. In fact, if you’re
with Jimmy, then it’s in your best interest not to work it out with me.”
“Of course it wouldn’t enter your mind that I’d want to do the right
thing.”
“I think a lot of people do things out of self-interest. It’s human nature.”
“So did you give up your jet-set lifestyle out of self-interest?”
“No, but that’s different. I’m—” He broke off.
“You’re what? A little bit superior to the rest of us?”
Zeke opened his mouth to answer, but found he didn’t know what to say.
He wanted to say, “I’m a Christian,” but that sounded so priggish.
Especially since his thoughts and behavior around Kendra weren’t exactly
stellar examples of Christian virtue.
No one is good, no, not one. The passage from Saint Paul echoed in his
mind, and he felt the truth of it deep inside.
Kendra was still looking at him expectantly.
“So are you saying,” he asked, “that you’re willing to work on the
custody arrangement with me, in good faith?”
“Of course,” she said. “I’m surprised that you’re interested in working on
it.”
“I want custody of Sara,” he said. “I’m willing to work with you to make
that happen.” He felt like a hypocrite, thinking of his planned phone call to
his lawyers, to start the process of proving Kendra and Jimmy to be bad
candidates for custody. But he was just maximizing his options like any
good businessman, wasn’t he?

*****

Two hours later Kendra got a break from customers. She stood behind the
co-op’s counter watching Zeke manage the monumental task of keeping
Sara happy and occupied in the children’s play area. Kendra had tried to get
Zeke to leave, telling him she could manage Sara without him, and it was
true, she’d done it numerous times. But Zeke had rightly pointed out that
now that Sara was more mobile, it would be hard to keep her quiet for the
four-hour stretch, and Kendra couldn’t honestly disagree.
She tried not to think the worst of Zeke—that he just wanted to spend
lots of time with Sara in order to gain custody of her. And being rich and
powerful, with enough money to hire lawyers and psychologists and all
kinds of other impressive experts, he might be able to do just that.
Tourists heading to the ski resorts had been stopping by in decent
numbers, wanting to spend their money on quality mountain arts and crafts.
As usual, work provided a distraction from her other stresses. Kendra was
thrilled to sell one quilt and get a strong nibble of interest on a wall
hanging.
“That’s a lovely dress, dear,” said a visitor. “Was it made by one of the
artists here?”
“I made it,” Kendra said, glancing down at her trademark starburst
pattern that decorated the bodice. She always changed into her own
creations to work at the co-op.
“Is it for sale?”
Kendra looked doubtfully at the woman’s short, plump figure. “I can take
orders,” she said. “You don’t want this one. It’s worn.”
“I’d take it for my daughter,” the woman said. “But if you’re taking
orders, then I’ll get two. One for me, size sixteen, and one for my daughter,
who’s about your size. Eight, probably?”
“Great. Let me write it up.” Kendra stole a glance at Zeke as she fumbled
for an order pad. She tried not to be overly proud about her work, aware
that it was a gift. But she was thrilled to be able to make a living, however
precarious, doing what she loved.
 Having him here was a chance to let him see her world, to know that she
was managing and that others respected her work and valued it enough to
spend their hard-earned money on it. For some reason, it was important to
Kendra that Zeke know that. Maybe because she was the underdog in terms
of money and age and experience, and she didn’t like his having the upper
hand all the time.
He was watching her. And something burned in his eyes that made her
cheeks go hot.
“Um, what sizes did you say?” She gripped her pen more tightly to stop
her hand’s trembling. “And what about colors?”
After the woman’s order was taken care of, there was another lull.
Determined not to start a fight, Kendra put on a smile and a positive attitude
before walking over to the play area. There, Zeke and Sara were engaged in
a mightily amusing romp through an animal picture book.
“You two seem to be doing fine,” she said.
“Mama!” Sara screeched, holding out her hands and laughing.
Kendra’s heart did a funny little flip. She took Sara in her arms and
looked at Zeke.
His head was cocked to one side. “She called you mama.”
“I know. She just started a few weeks ago, but only once in a while.”
“Is that a good thing?”
She bounced Sara and then sat down on a small bench that delineated the
play area. “From what I’ve read about attachment theory, it is.” Zeke was so
well-educated that she hesitated talking about what she’d been learning. She
only had a high school diploma and a couple of business courses from
community college. But she’d always been a reader, and she guessed she
knew more about this particular subject than he did.
“What did you find out?” His curiosity sounded genuine.
“That it’s important for babies to attach to someone. Sara was attached to
Cleo. Because she attached well before, she can do it again, to me.”
“Makes sense.” Zeke propped his head on one elbow. He looked
surprisingly comfortable lounging on the floor in casual khakis and a
sweater. “Was she attached to Garrett?”
“Totally. When he came home she’d kick and smile and laugh. She knew
he was Daddy.”
“Even though he wasn’t…the best of fathers?”
 Kendra put the wiggling Sara down and shrugged. “Sure. Babies can be
pretty forgiving.”
As if to illustrate that, Sara crawled toward Zeke and started climbing
onto him, chortling. He picked her up and rolled onto his back, holding her
high above him, and she giggled with delight.
Kendra watched and felt a warm glow building in her chest. Zeke had
learned so much in the week he’d been with them. Against her will, she felt
hope rise in her. Maybe the joint custody arrangement could work out, and
he would drop his pursuit of individual custody.
It was later, toward the end of the shift, that the day’s strain hit her. She
stretched and walked over to the window. “I wonder where Sadie is. She’s
supposed to be here for her shift by now.”
“Don’t anticipate too much relaxation,” Zeke said. “We’re going to start
working on that custody arrangement tonight.”
“Tonight?” She shaded her eyes against the setting sun. “There she
comes.” She looked back at Zeke. “You want to work on it tonight?”
“You bet I do.”
Kendra yawned. “Well, then, I’d better get Sara ready to go.”
“I’ll do it.”
She watched his new competence taking care of the baby, felt the
warming of her heart, and hoped she’d be able to remember that they were
adversaries, and that she had to keep her wits about her.
 CHAPTER SIX

Before the storm that would be their custody negotiation, Kendra knew
she needed some calm. The news about the will, the hearing, arguing with
Zeke, and fending off Jimmy had worn her down. She was in no shape to
figure out, calmly and objectively, the best future for Sara.
So, as they carried Sara and her things inside her cabin, she spoke up. “If
we have to work on the custody arrangement tonight, I will. But can we
please let it go for an hour or two?”
“Why?” he asked.
“Because I’m tired and hungry and bent out of shape.”
He was facing away from her, hanging up the diaper bag on the rack
where she normally kept it, and she cuddled Sara and waited for him to turn
around and argue.
Instead, he smiled over his shoulder, and Kendra’s heart turned over.
“You called that one right,” he said, turning to her. “I feel the same way.
Let’s take a break from the subject, and I’ll bring in the groceries.”
Not only did he bring them in, he attempted to put them away. As she
gave Sara a bottle and rocked her, she watched his efforts. He studied her
refrigerator and cupboard arrangements carefully, obviously trying to figure
out where things went; but he didn't get the distinction between produce and
dairy, or baking spices and savory ones.
It was a little comical to watch. But Kendra was also conscious that she
liked having him there. She hoped the reason was simply that with a baby,
any help was wonderful. If Zeke wasn’t there to help with the groceries, she
would have had to dump Sara in her play pen and carry everything in
herself. And with both she and the baby being hungry and tired, there would
have been crying, and a buildup of tension.
Even though she knew she could handle a baby on her own, just like
thousands of other single mothers, she realized more every day that it was a
lot easier with another person to help.
She rocked lazily, her attention divided between watching Sara’s eyes
droop, and watching Zeke reach for the high shelves.
 Yes, parenting was easier with help. And if help had the shoulders of a
linebacker and the trim waistline of a runner, well, that didn’t hurt anything
either. She took a sip of the orange soda he’d opened and brought over to
her, and let herself enjoy the luxury of a moment’s relaxation.
Once she’d tucked the sleeping baby into her crib, she walked into the
kitchen area where Zeke was folding paper grocery bags. He’d noticed that
she saved them.
“You’ll have to stay for dinner,” she told him with a mock-frown,
“because I don’t think I can find anything you put away.”
“I’m not good in the kitchen,” he admitted. “But if you’re serious about
the invitation, I would be happy to stay for dinner, and I’ll do whatever you
tell me to do to help.”
“I’m serious. You can dice onions and peppers,” she said, deciding on
burritos.
“Uh…okay.”
After watching him fumble for a few minutes, she gave him a
demonstration. “‘Dice’ means you cut it up into little pieces,” she explained.
“That’s after you peel the onion, like this—” She showed him how. “And
seed the green pepper, like this.”
He stood close behind her watching. Kendra tried not to be affected by
his nearness, but it was difficult. She could feel his warmth as he stood
behind her, and the faint scent of spicy aftershave teased her nose. As he
attempted to imitate her, his laugh rumbled deep and masculine, and when
she glanced up at him she ran head-on into that megawatt smile.
Careful, girl, she warned herself. Attractive as he might be, she couldn’t
forget Jimmy’s warning that Zeke was the enemy; that he would likely try
to take Sara away from both of them. She had to tread carefully. That didn’t
mean getting too close, or too attracted. It meant staying objective.
She settled him into chopping, and then started gathering spices, leftover
rice, and canned black beans. He switched on the radio. The music created a
pleasant background for their work.
“I know there’s a knack to this, and I don’t have it. But I like doing it
anyway,” Zeke commented after a few minutes. “I always wanted to learn
to cook.”
“You seem like you’d do whatever you wanted to,” she said, surprised.
“Why didn’t you learn, if you were interested?”
 He shrugged. “Lately, I haven’t even lived anywhere that had a kitchen,”
he explained. “Hotel rooms aren’t the homiest environment.”
“What about growing up?”
“Our cook was pretty possessive of her kitchen,” he said. “And our father
didn’t think the kitchen was a good place for a boy, anyway. We were made
for more important things, like sports, or making money.”
“Were you close with your father, growing up?”
He laughed, but there was a surprising bitterness in the sound. “No. Not
hardly.”
“Why not?” She poured olive oil into a skillet and turned on the stove.
“He was too busy running around with women to pay a lot of attention to
his kids.”
Kendra looked at him quickly. His face was set like granite, with no
emotion showing. Which didn’t mean, of course, that he felt nothing. “Oh,
Zeke, how awful,” she said finally. “Your poor mother.”
Another harsh laugh didn’t alter the set expression on his face. “Mom
wasn’t one to play the martyr. After a while, she found plenty of
consolation. While Dad ran around with his girlfriends, Mom brought her
boyfriends home.”
Kendra watched his large hands as they slowly, methodically diced
onions and thought about what to say. She’d learned way back never to put
down a person’s family, no matter what that person said himself. Even
though Zeke’s voice sounded condemning, his feelings had to be
complicated. “That must have been confusing for a little boy.”
“By the time it started happening, I wasn’t so small. I knew what was
going on and I knew it wasn’t right.” He paused. “And I had some better
influences in my life when I went to the Covenant Academy. Garrett never
knew any other way.”
Although Zeke sounded calm, Kendra glimpsed pain and anger in his
eyes. He had never forgiven his parents. She thought back to the couple
who had attended Garrett and Cleo’s wedding and their funeral, but had
never really been a part of their lives. They’d never even invited little Sara
to visit, claiming their exclusive retirement village didn’t allow children.
She’d never before considered what it had been like to grow up with
those two. Now, the thought of Zeke and Garrett’s childhood made
Kendra’s heart ache.
“Didn’t your father have to enter a nursing home recently?” she asked.
 “Uh-huh. And it’s made Mom stop and think, but not much.” The tension
in his voice told her he didn’t feel comfortable discussing his parents.
She touched his upper arm. “Here. Put the vegetables in the skillet.”
“Huh?” He looked at her hand.
She felt his tight biceps underneath the flannel shirt as she urged him
toward the stove. “The oil in the skillet. See, it’s hot. Now you can sauté the
onions and peppers. That means, you just scrape them into the skillet and
stir them around a little.”
“Maybe you’d better—”
“No, you do it. This can be your first specialty.”
So she taught him how to sauté vegetables, and directed him on when to
add the rice and beans and frozen corn. As she helped him measure spices,
the tension in his face started to dissolve. And when he saw the pretty
mixture, he smiled proudly and insisted that she write down the recipe for
him.
“Okay, I will. But now we grate the cheese.” She showed him how.
“Like this?”
She grabbed his hand, but it was too late; he’d scraped a knuckle. “Time
out. Let me get you a bandage.”
“I didn’t know cooking was so dangerous.”
“Here, wash it off.” She got him a paper towel and held it around his
finger to staunch the bleeding.
His hands were so big.
She kept one hand wrapped around the injured finger, but the other
wandered over his palm. After only a week’s worth of mountain living, it
was actually callused. It was such a man’s hand, so different from her softer
one. She drew in her breath and let it out, slowly.
“Kendra.” His hand wrapped around hers, and he squeezed a little. When
she glanced up at his face, she saw a little smile quirk the side of his mouth.
She felt like she couldn’t breathe.
What was she doing? Standing way too close to him. That was what.
She drew in a sharp breath and stepped back. “I think your bleeding
stopped. Here, let me put the band aid on before it starts again. Those
graters are dangerous. I should probably buy the pre-grated cheese, but it’s
more expensive, and the elders—that’s my aunts and their friends—would
be furious if they ever caught me buying it.”
“We wouldn’t want that.”
 She tightened the band aid over his finger and dropped his hand, and only
then did she dare look him in the face again. When she did, and saw his
rueful, knowing expression, she felt every year of the age difference
between them.
He’d probably had a million moments like that in his life, moments of
becoming conscious of a member of the opposite sex, moments of
temptation.
For Kendra, it was a new and extremely disconcerting experience.
“Here,” she said quickly, reaching for the grater, “I can finish the cheese.”
“No, no. I’m cooking dinner. You go…write the recipe down, or put your
feet up, or something.”
The operative word being, go, Kendra thought as she backed across the
room.

As Zeke carried the plates of food to the fireside where Kendra had set
up trays, he felt a flash of pride in his work and had to smile at himself.
He’d actually cooked a meal, something he’d never done before in his life,
and the simple satisfaction of it rivaled completing a big business deal.
Especially bringing the food to Kendra. He watched her staring into the
fire and wondered at her complexity.
She’d gotten so embarrassed at that little surge of chemistry in the
kitchen. And she’d sounded so sad about the infidelities of his parents. It
didn’t mix with his vision of her as a sinner.
Yet he’d seen her move into Jimmy’s embrace the other night, and she’d
stayed out late with him last night.
Who was she really, vixen or saint?
Or more than likely, was she just a confused young woman halfway in
between?
He set down the food quietly, not wanting to disturb her reverie, and
moved back into the kitchen. He had to make a decision about whether to
push hard for joint custody, or go it alone. And he had to make it soon. To
do that, he had to understand her better, because he wanted to do the right
thing for everyone—himself, Kendra, and especially Sara. Closing his eyes,
he offered up a brief prayer for help.
As they ate, Zeke deliberately took their conversation past superficial
things. “I told you a little about my background. What about yours?” he
asked. “I’ve heard you talk about Cleo, but not your parents.”
 “I didn’t know my dad,” she said, “because he died when I was small.
And mom was a hardworking woman who got old before her time. I was
sixteen when we lost her.”
“Then you and Cleo were alone in the world.”
Kendra laughed. “No. Not with the elders around.”
“Tell me about them.”
“We’d moved away from the village when dad died and mom needed to
find work,” Kendra explained. “But when mom got sick, we moved back.
Well, she and I did. Cleo was grown up by that time, and she had a waitress
job in Aspen, so she didn’t come with us.”
“That’s where Cleo met Garrett,” Zeke remembered.
“Uh-huh, a few years later. Anyway, mom and I moved back and the
elders took care of us. That’s when I learned to cook, and do quilting and
such. All the mountain crafts. It was a hard time, watching mom get sicker
and sicker, but it would have been much worse without the elders. I’ll
always be grateful to them.”
“Are they religious?”
A frown twisted Kendra’s mouth. “Yeah. Yeah, they are.”
“Why don’t you live near them now?”
Kendra shrugged. “I have been. I usually spent the warmer months there,
and then I do this winter caretaking gig.”
He waded into the tension that was starting to build in the room. “But
now you’re thinking of doing something different?”
She spread her hands. “Depends on what…works out. With the baby, and
you, and Jimmy, and all that.”
“Right.”
“So what about you?” she asked.
“What about me?” He noted with interest her move to steer the
conversation away from herself.
“Well, if you grew up with parents who were running around, how’d you
get to be so…”
“Straitlaced?” he asked, smiling.
She grinned back. “I wasn’t going to say it that way, but yeah.”
“My year at the Covenant Academy. I had a great mentor. And made
some lifelong friends who are rock-solid Christians and who hold me
accountable for my actions.” Or at least, they tried to. He’d been out of
touch for too long and gotten too far away from his Sacred Bond brothers.
 She nodded, noncommittal, tense once more. Interesting.
He looked at her and took a breath. It was never easy for him to talk
about his faith, and doing it with Kendra was even more difficult. Probably
because he felt so much like the sinner he was around her. Yet he wanted to
understand where she stood. It was crucial in his decision about whether
they could raise Sara together.
Help me, Lord.
The prayer steadied him, but didn’t remove his uncertainty. “You know,”
he said, “I have this sense that you’re…searching.”
“I’m not searching.” Kendra’s full lips pressed tightly together.
“Well…did you used to find comfort in God?”
“Sure. Of course.” She looked into the fire and then met his eyes. “Look,
I don’t really want to get into all this, because I don’t want to upset your
balance or say anything to put down how you feel. I just lost it, okay? I
can’t believe in a God who’d let all this happen to an innocent baby.”
These waters were deep and dark. He felt his way, cautiously. “Or to
you?”
“What do you mean?” Her voice was harsh.
Zeke tried to put himself in her place. “Let’s see. You’ve lost…a father, a
mother, and a sister. Your whole family. You’re basically alone in the world.
And then you have this new responsibility thrust upon you, caring for a
baby. You’re pretty young to deal with all of that.”
“Yeah, well, no one ever said life was fair.” She shoved her dinner tray
aside. It scraped the pine floor, marring it, but Kendra didn’t look down.
“I can see why you’d be angry about all that’s happened to you,” he said.
“That’s all. I think it’s natural.”
“I’m not angry. Sad, maybe, but not angry.”
“Really?”
“Really.” She gripped the arms of her chair. “And for your information, I
love taking care of Sara. She’s not a burden, she’s a gift.”
“Of course she is,” Zeke said. “But even so, it’s a lot for a what, twenty-
two-year-old to take on.”
“Are you leading up to something?” she asked.
“Like what?”
“Like Sara is too much for poor little me, so you, the rich older man, will
take her off my hands?”
Rich older man. Was that how she saw him?
 He tried to ignore the sting of it. “No,” he said quietly, “I’m not trying to
manipulate you. I’m saying that while your anger is understandable,
targeting God is like shooting yourself in the foot. It’s in times of trouble
that we need to draw near to Him.”
“I can’t.” She shook her head, and folded her hands in her lap, and she
looked tired. The fight was draining out of her. “I just can’t.”
“Why not?”
Bleak green eyes met his. “When the accident with Cleo and Garrett
happened, I was babysitting Sara. They didn’t come home and didn’t come
home. I kept calling the police and the national park service, and then I
learned there’d been an avalanche.”
Her lips were trembling now as she relived it, and he put his tray aside
and pulled his chair closer to her. “Go on.”
“Good little Christian that I was, I prayed and prayed. I called my church
friends, and Pastor Tom, and they all did a prayer chain. For days, this went
on. God would’ve had to be deaf not to hear.”
“What happened then?” he asked although he was pretty sure he already
knew.
“He was.” She swallowed convulsively, staring down at her interlocked
hands. “He was deaf.”
“No, Kendra.” He moved forward until he was on his knees before her,
reaching for her hand and gripping it. “He wasn’t deaf. I’m not claiming to
know what He had in mind, but I know He was listening. He heard your
prayers, we just don’t understand His ways. No human does.”
She shook her head, her lips tight. “I don’t buy it. When I heard the news
that they’d been found—that their bodies had been found, I just…” She
paused, swallowed. “I stopped believing.”
“You were grief-stricken,” he said intently, holding her hand tighter,
feeling like this was the most important conversation he’d ever had in his
life. “You lost your sister. It probably brought back all your other losses.
That’s not the time to make a decision about your beliefs.”
“It’s not a decision, it’s a feeling.”
“What did you feel?”
She cocked her head to one side, looking puzzled. “I felt…nothing.
Nothing but emptiness.”
“That’s got to be your mind’s way of protecting itself. If you felt, you’d
feel pain, and loss, and grief. Maybe even anger.”
 “Why are you harping on anger?” She pulled her hand away from his.
Zeke rocked back on his heels, then lounged on the floor at her feet. “I
guess because you seem angry when you talk about it. And it makes sense. I
was mad, too.”
“At God?” she asked.
“Not really.” He ran his hand over the pattern of the rug, thinking. “For
some reason, I never questioned why God let it happen. I guess I’m not that
theological, or that deep.” He looked up at her. “Nope, I just personalized it
entirely. I was mad at Garrett.”
“Why?”
He put his arms behind his head and stared up at the wooden rafters.
“What kind of an idiot would go into the back country during avalanche
season, without one of those beepers at least? I was mad at him for being
stupid, and dying—” His throat closed up. He swallowed, tightened his
muscles, and focused on what Garrett had done wrong rather than on the
little brother he’d loved. “Dying before I had a chance to help him
straighten out his life.”
“Oh, you would’ve fixed it, would you?”
“I would have tried. Should have tried, but I didn’t get the time to do it.”
He propped himself on one elbow. “Anyway, that’s why I was angry. Dumb,
huh?”
She shrugged.
“And when I think about it, the person I’m maddest at is myself, for not
trying harder to help.” He sat up. “You have a right to your feelings,
Kendra, whether it’s numbness, grief, or anger. But don’t just go blank on
God.”
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” Her words were shaky.
“It’s important to talk about it. Even I know that, and I’m just a guy.”
“Stop it!” she cried out then. “Stop being so…nice.” Her voice broke on
the last word and she brushed a knuckle under her eye with a quick, angry
motion. “Stop trying to make me feel.”
When he saw her failing attempt to control herself, his heart twisted in
his chest. In his efforts to understand her, to know where she was coming
from and whether they could work together for Sara’s upbringing, he had
pushed her toward her inner pain. Although she didn’t portray herself as
such, she was a vulnerable young woman almost entirely alone in the
world. She’d lost so much. Who was he, with his wealth, and his parents
still living, and his career success, to judge and evaluate someone who’d
suffered as Kendra had?
And now, having opened her wounds, he was honor bound to try and heal
them, or at least comfort her. All his years of working with women, of
befriending them, and of dating them told him what he had to do. When
women were upset, logical words didn’t help, and advice was even more
useless. Most women needed touch. So even though it was risky, he did
what he had to do.
He rose to his knees and took her in his arms.
 CHAPTER SEVEN

At first, Kendra resisted Zeke’s gentle embrace. But when she realized
that it was gentle, not demanding, she gave in and relaxed against him.
She hadn’t had anyone to comfort her since Cleo died. From the moment
she’d learned of her only sister’s death, she had been strong and practical.
There had been funeral arrangements to make, since she was the only one
left in the family. She’d had to assume immediate care of Sara. Between
cleaning out Garrett and Cleo’s condo and trying to stretch a dollar to make
ends meet, she hadn’t had an ounce of emotional energy to grieve.
Now, in Zeke’s strong arms, Kendra dared to let herself rest. Against her
ear she heard the steady pounding of his heart, and the comfort of that
sound satisfied a craving she hadn’t known she had.
The muscles of his back flexed, and she moved her hands over them,
grateful for their strength. She’d carried her burdens alone for so long.
Zeke cleared his throat. “Wait a minute,” he said, his hands on her sides,
shifting her a little away. “Let me get you—”
“Don’t go.” She whispered it against his chest.
He went still.
She felt his chest expand as he took a deep breath. And held it. Then,
slowly, he let it out and with strength, put her away from him. “I’ll be right
back,” he said. “I’m getting you some tissues.”
Kendra wrapped her arms around her knees and waited, hunched, aching,
refusing to think. A moment later he came back with a box of tissues.
“You’re crying, honey,” he said.
She knew he wasn’t conscious of the endearment, but it warmed her. “I
know,” she whispered and looked at his face, so close to hers. “It’s your
fault.”
He smiled and wiped away her tears. “My fault? Why?”
“Making me feel,” she said. “Meany.”
“I’m sorry.” Zeke stroked her hair a couple of times and it felt so good.
Kendra remembered her mother stroking her hair when she’d been a child.
She closed her eyes and reveled in the sensation of being cared for. Zeke
pulled her against his shoulder and she felt the incredible relief of rest, of
letting the weight of her responsibilities go for just a brief moment.
Too soon, he sighed and shifted a little away from her, clearing his throat.
“You need to express your grief, Kendra. You need to talk to your friends.
Don’t you ever do that?”
“Not too much.” The truth was, she’d isolated herself from her friends at
the same time she’d strayed from church. Only now, here with Zeke, did
she realize how destructive the wall she’d built around herself was.
She filed that information away to think about later. As she swallowed
and blew her nose, the relief of finally letting herself cry made her feel
twenty pounds lighter.
“Come on, get up.” He rose to his feet, grasped her hands, and tugged.
“I’m making you some tea with my newfound cooking skills, and then
we’re going to get to work.”
To Kendra’s surprise, his voice sounded a little strained. Newly attuned
to his moods, and feeling close to him, she met his eyes with curiosity.
“Zeke, what’s wrong?” She was still holding his hands.
He squeezed her hands and dropped them. “Nothing a cold shower
wouldn’t cure.” He turned and headed toward the kitchen table. “Come on.
We’ve got work to do tonight.”
Kendra stared after his retreating back. Had he just admitted being
attracted to her? It could hardly be, and yet what else could that cold shower
comment mean? Her heart gave a great leap of happiness before she could
stop and begin warning herself.
Zeke was so much older, and so sophisticated. He’d made it very clear he
didn’t want to get involved with the likes of her…even before he’d seen all
her problems, her red eyes, and her nose runny from crying. Not when he
had access to someone like the glamorous gospel singer.
He sat down at the table and pushed another chair out with his foot,
meeting her eyes with a disarming smile. “Come on. Let’s see if there’s any
way at all this custody arrangement could work.”
So she joined him there, and they studied maps and calendars and jotted
down notes, trying to arrange for Sara’s care. Zeke himself was surprisingly
flexible, since a lot of his business could be conducted online; he was
willing to live out in the country. As they bargained, and he gave in more
than she did, Kendra relaxed more and more.
 Zeke wasn’t a bad man. She’d known it before, but now she saw it in
action. He was wealthy and powerful, yet he had a basic humility that kept
him from lording it over a young, poor woman like herself. It seemed that,
above all, he wanted to do the right thing.
Kendra couldn’t help but breathe in the spicy scent of him. As they
worked their hands brushed often and she felt the roughness of his, Zeke’s
eyes lingered on her, and several times she noticed that he took a sharp
breath inward and let it out in a sigh.
After one of those times he pressed his lips together and spoke. “Kendra,
it looks like we might be able to make this work,” he said. “But I’m very
conscious that…” He paused.
“What?” She held her breath.
“It’s risky.”
“Risky how?”
He hesitated. Looked at her. Looked away.
Kendra waited. The air crackled with tension.
Zeke expelled a breath he must have been holding. “Just…risky. I need to
do some praying about it.”
Kendra felt disconcerted without exactly knowing why.
Zeke was becoming more human to her. She was seeing more sides to
him, from the little boy who hadn’t been allowed in the kitchen to the man
whose strong shoulder provided such a comforting support for her as she
cried. She was seeing his faith, a natural part of his lifestyle, and that
aroused a hunger in her to get back the faith she’d used to have.
In honesty, she had to admit to a different kind of hunger, too. For a good
man in her life.
But this particular good man was off limits, and she had to get that
through her head. Even if he was attracted to her just a little, he didn’t
intend to get involved—and Zeke King was a man who followed through
on his intentions.
There were forms they needed to fill out just to get the custody process
started, and Kendra tried to focus on them as Zeke handed them to her. It
was difficult, though, and when her phone buzzed, she grabbed it with a
sense of relief.
It was Jimmy.
He wanted to talk about the will and strategize how they could make sure
Zeke didn’t get custody. He promised that if custody went to him, Kendra
could share it. He urged her to be uncooperative in making arrangements
with Zeke.
Her house being basically one big room and a loft, she had no privacy for
her phone call. Eventually Jimmy heard the hesitation in her voice and
started probing, and she had to admit that Zeke was there. And then she had
to listen to Jimmy’s recriminations.
As she tried to walk a tightrope between the two men, she felt her heart
torn in half.
She didn’t want to do as Jimmy said, she wanted to cooperate with Zeke.
But Zeke had admitted that he didn’t know how or whether the joint
custody would work. And the thought of living near Zeke and seeing him
frequently in connection with Sara was starting to seem a little risky to
Kendra as well. She had to make sure she didn’t come to rely on Zeke, but
it was hard when he was so admirable, so responsible, so good.
“You know, babe, there’s a way we can make this work together,” Jimmy
said.
“How?”
“We can live together. It would be great for Sara.”
“Jimmy!” The thought repulsed her, and not just because she wasn’t
drawn to Jimmy as a man.
“I don’t mean it that way. It would be convenient, and it would look good
to a judge.”
She wasn’t sure if she believed him, and she felt an instinctive distaste
for what he was proposing. Yet it was hard to counter his arguments.
Until this moment, she hadn’t realized the protection her faith had
provided her. Before, she wouldn’t have thought twice about Jimmy’s
suggestion. But now, she supposed she was free to do that sort of thing.
People did it all the time.
Yet the thought of living with a man outside of marriage brought a lump
of pain to her throat. She’d never meant for her life to turn out like that.
But that’s where you’re heading. And Jimmy is what you’ll get.
Finally she got off the phone by promising Jimmy that they’d talk about
it later, and that Zeke was leaving. She had her back to Zeke by now, and
spoke in a low voice, but she suspected he must have heard. After hanging
up the phone she kept her back to him, breathing deeply, trying to swallow
the lump in her throat.
 She knew she’d stood there too long when she felt a hand on her
shoulder.
“Hey,” Zeke said.
His gentle voice made tears spring to her eyes. She kept her back turned.
“Look, I’m sorry I didn’t leave you alone for your phone call. I should
have gone back to my cabin, but…” He broke off.
“But what?” Her voice came out raspy.
“I could hear him yelling at you. Kendra, what’s your connection with
Jimmy? Are you…that close with him?”
She heard the question under the question. Are you lovers?
And she thought about Jimmy’s proposal that they live together, and his
recent efforts to bring her closer physically.
They weren’t lovers. She’d never had a lover; she’d kept herself pure.
But now, she was afraid.
“Kendra?”
She spun to face him. “Are you asking what I think you’re asking?”
He was standing close. “Probably. What’s the answer?”
“Don’t you already know?”
He studied her face. “I thought I did. But something makes me not so
sure.”
Kendra looked away from him. “I…Zeke, I hardly know who I am right
now. My life has changed so much. A few months ago I would never have
considered what Jimmy just suggested.”
“What did he suggest?”
She stole a glance at him, saw the storm clouds gathering, and looked
away. “He wants us to live together.”
“That’s ridiculous. Don’t even consider it.”
She was silent.
“Kendra. You’re not going to do it, are you?” His voice held both
concern and censure.
“I…” She turned to the counter and started putting away the dishes
they’d washed. Carefully, because her hands were shaking. “I don’t think
so, Zeke. But it’s hard, being alone. And if you and I can’t work out Sara’s
custody, then I should probably work with Jimmy, try to team up with him
or something… I don’t know. I’m totally confused.”
“But if you move in with Jimmy, what kind of example are you setting
for her?”
 “I know! I hate it.”
“Are you lonely?” He was looking at her so intently that she felt he could
see into her soul.
It made her rash. “I wasn’t lonely until you came.”
“That doesn’t make sense. Now you’ve got company up here.”
“I know. But before you came, I had Jimmy as a friend. And I didn’t want
anything more. Now, Jimmy’s gotten all pushy. He wants to be, you know,
kissing all the time and everything.”
“I know,” Zeke said slowly. “I saw.”
“What?”
“I saw you kissing him. The other night. Right over there.” He pointed
toward the center of the room.
Kendra remembered the way she’d struggled away. “You were
watching?”
“I turned away when I saw you go to him.”
She shut her eyes and leaned back against the counter. “That’s just what I
mean. He used to just hug me and leave, but now he wants to get closer.
He’s always holding onto me too long when we hug, or trying to kiss me,
you know, really kiss me, and it just makes me feel…”
“What does it make you feel?”
She shook her head back and forth. “I want to push him away. I do push
him away—I did that night. But then he gets all mad, and hurt. Sometimes I
practically have to fight him off. Like…last night.”
“What happened?” Zeke’s voice was kind. And Zeke touched her so
tenderly, on the shoulder, like a brother. He wasn’t pushy like Jimmy.
“Oh, you know. He wanted to be romantic.”
“And you didn’t let him.”
“Right. But it was a struggle.” She frowned. What was wrong with her,
anyway? Jimmy was an old, dear friend, a hardworking man, willing to help
with Sara. What more did she want?
She looked up through her eyelashes at Zeke and knew.
She wanted Zeke.
And she couldn’t have him.
“Kendra,” he said, “I’ve misjudged you. I thought you were involved
with Jimmy, that he was maybe one among many. I’ve made a mistake.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “I know. You had me judged and convicted
the minute you saw me.”
 “Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t involved with him?”
She shrugged. “I didn’t want to have to prove myself to you. Why should
I?”
“You’re right, of course.” He smiled down at her.
Their eyes met and held.
Kendra drew in her breath. She should look away, but his warm
chocolate eyes were too delicious. She licked her lips.
“I…don’t want to be like Jimmy,” he said, “but right now I’m having
some of the same feelings he was. I’d better go.”
“Wait.” She reached for Zeke’s hands and held them. “What kind of
feelings?”
“Wanting to kiss you.”
Their eyes were still locked. Her heart pounding, Kendra lifted his hand
to hers and kissed one knuckle, then the next. “I know what you mean,” she
murmured.
His smile was strained and he shook his head. “Don’t.”
“Why not?”
“You light a fire, it can burn out of control.”
She still held his hand, but lightly now, near her face. She leaned her
cheek against it. “I don’t feel afraid.”
“You should.”
“I want you to kiss me.”
The crackling fire balanced the radio’s soft music, and neither one
drowned out the pounding of Kendra’s heart.
His struggle waged on his face.
He was going to reject her, and she couldn’t handle that, not tonight. She
kissed his hand again. “Show me how, Zeke,” she said. “Hold me and show
me how to feel.” She reached up around his neck, stood on tiptoes, and
touched her lips to his with the softest of feathery kisses.
A rumbling sound came from deep in his throat. His hands slid behind
her back and pulled her to him, and then one hand cupped her chin, holding
her steady, keeping her from ending what she’d begun.
Zeke’s kiss was forceful, but loving, too, and tender. He pulled her closer,
and Kendra’s response was fierce joy. Just for this moment, he was there for
her and she could lose herself in him. Her fears, her doubts, the mistrust that
she lived with daily, all of it fled her mind in favor of this flooding, pooling
sensation of love.
 So this was what her girlfriends talked about. This was what people
wrote songs about. His lips on hers, his strong arms around her, the
rightness and comfort and thrill of it. She closed her eyes and lost herself in
the happiness of his warm, thorough kiss.
Zeke held her as if she were the most precious treasure he’d ever
touched. She could feel his struggle between tenderness and yearning, and it
touched her deeply that tenderness won. Zeke was such a big man, and
obviously ardent, but he was strong and protective enough to control his
manly passions.
She loved that about him.
And because she didn’t have to worry about where it would lead, she was
able to lose herself in his extremely skillful kiss.
Moments later he turned his head to lay a cheek against hers. His face felt
rough with his evening beard, and she smelled the wool of his sweater.
When he ran a hand reverently down the length of her hair, she heard him
sigh. “I’ve wanted to touch your hair ever since the first night I saw you.”
The idea that he’d been thinking of her that way, even through all their
arguments and conflicts, made her fill with joy.
And then he lowered his hands to her shoulders, anchored them there and
took a great step back.
Kendra heard herself make a disappointed little sound. She’d never felt
such a longing before, and its intensity scared her.
Zeke heard it too and immediately pulled back his hands and turned
away, leaving her cold and alone against the kitchen counter.
She watched him as her breathing slowed, her body cooled. His head was
down, and his shoulders slumped.
“Zeke—” She started toward him, wanting instinctively to comfort him.
He held up a hand. “Don’t,” he warned her, and she stepped back, hurt.
Her joy ebbed slowly away.
“Kendra, I’m sorry,” he said after a moment. “I shouldn’t have let that
happen, and I won’t let it happen again.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Hurt and disappointment put a
thread of harshness in her voice. She felt guilty, too, that she’d pushed
herself on him. The fact that he’d responded with such warm, loving
passion would just make it harder to forget.
“I think I’d better leave now.”
 Something in her—that hungry, needing part—cried against it. After what
they’d just shared, he should stay. They should be together. They should be
husband and wife, and he should hold her in that wonderful way all night
long.
But it wasn’t going to happen, not ever.
The door in her heart that had begun to open slammed shut. Quickly, her
old defenses rallied around to guard it.
Zeke didn’t want any type of relationship with her. Oh, he might have a
little fling with a poor girl like her; rich men had been doing that type of
thing since forever. But when it came to settling down, he’d choose one of
his own kind.
She’d made a major mistake tonight, opening her heart to Zeke. She
knew better. It had been a stupid lapse. Stupid, stupid, stupid. “Leaving’s a
good idea,” she said, hearing again the harsh edge to her voice.
His jaw square and set, he gathered his things.
Kendra couldn’t let go of the counter. She felt like she needed to grip it to
keep from falling over. And to stop herself from running to him, throwing
her arms around him, begging him to stay.
“This puts a whole new twist on our efforts to cooperate,” he said at the
door, his voice heavy and sad. “It shows how dangerous it is for us to try to
share custody.”
“I know. I don’t know if we can work anything out.”
“We should talk.”
“Not now,” she said quickly.
“We’ll figure it out tomorrow.”
“I don’t want to see you tomorrow,” she lied.
“Well,” he said, “you have to see me soon. But maybe not for much
longer.” And then he was gone, out the door. On his way out of her life, like
every man she’d ever gotten close to, except Jimmy.
 CHAPTER EIGHT

Except for trading Sara back and forth, Zeke managed to avoid Kendra
for five whole days. He thought he’d armored himself against her appeal by
the time he pounded on her door the next Sunday morning.
But when she answered, she was dressed in a mahogany-colored skirt
and sweater that looked stunning on her slender figure. And she was
holding Sara, who wore something yellow and lacy, with little yellow
shoes.
His heart melted. They looked so cute together with their red hair,
Kendra’s in glorious profusion and Sara’s just a few wisps sticking out from
under a brimmed yellow hat.
That was the problem: they looked too good. Kendra looked too good.
Zeke was a little upset with her about how she’d initiated that incredible
kiss. But if he was a little upset with her, he was furious at himself.
He should have known better, but he had let a tempting situation develop
and it had led him down the wrong path. He had no intention of marrying
her, or even dating her seriously, so he had no business touching her. He
was determined he wasn’t going to lapse again.
Days of thinking about it had resulted in an inescapable conclusion—
there was only one way to make sure Sara was raised in a good home with
good values. And that was for him to gain sole custody of her. He’d thought
that maybe, just maybe, he and Kendra could work out joint custody
together. But after the sparks between them had ignited into a wildfire, he
knew that working together was too dangerous.
“What do you want?” Kendra’s voice was cool, calm, but the dark circles
under her eyes told a different story. She must not have been sleeping well
either.
“I need to get online for a few minutes,” he said. It was inconvenient that
he’d have to email his lawyers from here, but Kendra wasn’t one to look
over his shoulder while he worked.
“That’s okay, I guess.” She looked distracted, and then her cellphone
buzzed. She shifted Sara on her hip and grabbed it.
Zeke stood half-in, half-out.
 “Hello?” She waved him inside.
Once he was in, there was no way not to eavesdrop.
“Oh, hi, I was wondering…really?”
Sara tugged at Kendra’s necklace, babbling a happy string of nonsense
syllables.
“Is he okay?” she said finally.
Sara kept making noise, so Zeke went over and took her. He was happy
that she came to him with a smile.
“No, no, don’t worry about it. I can get there. I can call a friend. Really,
Anne, it’s no problem.”
She listened again. Zeke sat down at the table with Sara on his lap and
wondered where they were headed. Surely not church? He was afraid to put
Sara down on the floor in the pretty pastel outfit.
“That’s right. Stay home and take care of him. I’ll see you soon.”
She said her goodbyes and then hung up and looked at Sara, frowning.
“What’s wrong?” Zeke asked.
“Oh, my car’s acting up and I was going to get a ride to church with Bob
and Anne, but he’s not feeling well.”
Zeke opened his mouth to offer to take them and then closed it. Keep
your distance, he reminded himself.
Kendra shook back her hair and looked out the window for a moment.
Then she drew in a breath and picked up the phone again. This time, she
walked away from him as she punched in a number.
Realizing she wanted privacy, he carried Sara over to the fireplace area.
And eavesdropped anyway.
She kept her voice low, but he could still hear snatches of conversation.
“Bob and Anne…all ready to go…know you don’t usually like to but…”
When she paused to listen, she glanced back at Zeke and caught him
watching. She walked into the kitchen, keeping her back to him. The
message was loud and clear.
Zeke sat down and with Sara on his lap and kept up a constant stream of
nonsense talk that entranced the baby and blocked the phone conversation
from his ears.
A few minutes later Kendra came over and held out her hands for the
baby. “I’m done. I’ll take her. You can do your computer work.”
“Are you going to church?”
She carried Sara over toward the bed. “No.”
 He stood. Turned toward the computer. Looked back in their direction.
Kendra was taking the fancy little outfit off of Sara. Her movements were
steady, resolute.
Zeke walked to the computer anyway, arguing with himself. He wanted
to stay out of Kendra’s life. He needed to get in touch with his lawyers right
away. Right away because, unless his eavesdropping skills had totally
deteriorated, that second phone call had been to Jimmy.
Kendra had a friendship with the other man, an alliance that could lead to
them being a couple, no matter what she’d said in the heat of their kiss. If
Zeke and Kendra couldn’t work out custody, which it looked like they
couldn’t, then Jimmy would fight to get the baby. In fact, he was almost
certainly planning to join forces with Kendra—that must be the secret ace
he’d sensed Jimmy holding. If Jimmy got Kendra to live with him, or marry
him, they’d be one little happy family. Mighty appealing to a judge.
Zeke, meanwhile, would be on the outside looking in.
He clicked into his e-mail, frowning. He’d be failing his niece, just like
he’d failed Garrett. And Sara wouldn’t get the positive, faith-filled
upbringing she needed. Why, just look at the guy, he wouldn’t even take
Kendra and Sara to church.
You won’t, either. And you’re the Christian.
The small inner voice made him go still. It also seemed to fine-tune his
senses. He heard the baby’s babble and Kendra’s soothing murmur. He
smelled a faint cinnamon-and-coffee scent.
Most of all, he tasted his own sour hypocrisy. More than once in his
prayers, he’d promised that he’d be an instrument to help Kendra come
back to the Lord. Well, here was a very concrete way he could help her
come back. And he was balking because he didn’t think he could keep his
hands and his heart to himself for the space of two hours.
Zeke stared at his e-mail display without seeing it for several minutes.
Brushed his fingers over his tattoo. Then he pushed back the chair, stood,
and walked over to Kendra.
“What time do you need to leave to get to church on time?”
She glanced at the wall clock. “In about half an hour. But it’s fine. I
didn’t really want to go anyway, it’s just that Bob and Anne are so sweet
and they caught me at a bad time a couple of days ago. I mean, I was
feeling a little down and when they invited me, it actually sounded good to
go back. But I’m fine now. I’ve got a lot to do today. Jimmy’s coming up
later to look at the car, and—”
“Put her outfit back on,” he said. “I’m going to send a few e-mails, and
then go change, and then I’m taking you both to church.”
“You don’t need to—”
“Yes, I do. It’ll be good for all of us.”

Kendra seemed skittish as they drove down the mountain, and Zeke
didn’t feel any too relaxed himself. He knew taking her to church was the
right thing to do, but every time he looked at her he remembered the
delicious, dangerous sensations of kissing her.
He tried to focus on the clear blue sky, the sun on melting snow, the thick
stands of ponderosa pines. He fiddled with the radio dial, scanning for a
good distraction. He even drove a little too fast to give himself a focus. But
his stubborn thoughts wouldn’t budge from the lovely, vulnerable woman
beside him.
Church was about the only safe place for him to go with her. He gunned
the motor, wanting to get there faster.
“Just turn the truck around,” she said. “I don’t want to go.”
“What? Why not?” He didn’t slow down.
“Look, it’s obvious you don’t want to do this. I don’t really, either.”
“Yes, you do.”
“No, I don’t. I just had a moment of weakness when Bob and Anne—”
“It was a moment of strength.” His voice sounded preachy, even to him.
“Oh, can it. You weren’t planning to go to church, either.”
“It’s true, I didn’t think of going to your church, but I was planning to log
onto one of the websites that does a service, if you didn’t mind. I felt in
need of some guidance, after…” He broke off and glanced over at her.
She was blushing. “Yeah, I bet you did.”
Her words sounded accusatory, and he automatically defended himself.
“As I recall, you were plenty interested…”
“Stop it!” She put her hands over her ears. The childish gesture made
Zeke smile, until he saw the pain on her face.
It convicted him. He definitely should have known better than to let their
attraction play out. He was older and more experienced, and a committed
Christian. He knew where late-night, emotional, and one-on-one could lead.
 He was the one who was determined not to get involved. Not when he
and Kendra were so different in age, in spiritual development, and in their
goals. Not when he knew he wasn’t suited to be a family man.
They didn’t match, and it wouldn’t work, so it was wrong to let their
strong, but primarily physical attraction affect their behavior. He understood
that, while Kendra might not. It bothered him deeply that he hadn’t stuck to
his principles about relationships that night.
“At least you don’t have to take me home,” Kendra said suddenly. “I’m
getting a ride with Jimmy. He’s coming up to work on my car.”
His tension soared. “Are you sure you should be encouraging him like
that?”
“Zeke—”
“No, hear me out. I think you might be making a mistake after what you
told me…the other night.”
The mention of the night they’d kissed brought another blush to her face.
“What? What did I tell you?”
“That he was getting more aggressive. Wanting more from the
relationship, wanting you to move in. When you call him up and make
plans to get together, you’re encouraging him, whether you mean to or not.”
“I’m not encouraging him, we’re old friends. I’ve always called Jimmy
for a ride, and he’s always fixed my car.” There was doubt in her voice.
Zeke shook his head. “Kendra, guys can be a lot more simple-minded
than women. A phone call from the girl you want means she wants you
too.”
“Oh, so now you’re Dear Abby?”
He steered around the last curve before the tiny mountain town. “I’m not
trying to be a know-it-all. I’m just trying to give you some insight into how
men think.”
“And maybe trying to keep me away from Jimmy because of the baby?”
Her voice taunted him.
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t play dumb, Zeke. If the two of us can’t work together to do joint
custody, then Jimmy or I could get Sara. If I build a relationship with
Jimmy, you’ll be left out in the cold.”
He kept a poker face even though it was exactly what he’d been thinking.
“Is this the place?” he asked, nodding toward a white clapboard church with
a pretty steeple and a decent crowd of people walking up the wooden stairs.
Maybe it would distract her from her all-too-astute observations.
She looked toward the church, drew in a deep breath, and let it out in a
heavy sigh. “Yeah,” she said. “That’s my church. Mount Zion.”
He parked, got out, came around to her side, and opened the door. She sat
gripping the edge of the truck’s bench seat, staring straight ahead.
She looked terrified.
Zeke wondered why. Was this a condemning church? Did she fear its
members’ disapproval of something about her lifestyle?
“Come on,” he said. “It won’t be that bad.”
She turned and studied his face, her green eyes intense with emotion.
“Won’t it?”
“No. It’ll be good. Come on.”
He reached out a hand to help her out of the truck, but she slapped it
gently away. “That’s how rumors start, Zeke,” she said with a wobbly
smile. “Small church, small village…don’t go touching me if you don’t
want to be labeled as at least a boyfriend, if not a future husband.”
Her words made him imagine Kendra draped in white lace. Without a
doubt, her wedding dress would be handmade, something artsy and unusual,
like Kendra herself. He pictured old-fashioned, cream-colored lace for the
veil, with her fiery red hair showing through it. Heat wrapped in purity.
The image hypnotized him.
Kendra reached around to unfasten the straps in Sara’s car seat, and Zeke
took a step backward, trying to get a grip on his thoughts. A moment later
she handed him the baby. He was glad for the distraction, so he wouldn’t
have to watch Kendra wriggle down from the truck’s high seat with her
natural grace.
One deep breath and an audible sigh later, she lifted her chin, held out her
arms for Sara, and turned toward the church.
It was a pretty place and perfectly suited to its mountain setting. Behind
the dark steeple, snow-covered mountain peaks brought God’s glory
inevitably into the soul, and just walking toward the church, as they did
now, made Zeke want to worship.
Kendra’s slow pace suggested she wasn’t feeling the same, and despite
her warning about small-town gossip, he put a reassuring hand on the small
of her back. No matter what the attitude of the people in the church,
Kendra’s return to the fold had to be causing joy in heaven.
 Besides, God forgive him, he wanted desperately to touch her.
In the foyer, a stone fireplace held a real fire, so that people coming in
felt welcomed. Obviously folks gravitated to it to warm up, and stayed for
pre-worship socializing. Beside the fireplace, a table held name tags, an
enormous coffeepot, and stacks of ceramic mugs.
As soon as the fireplace crowd saw Kendra, she was mobbed.
“You’re back!”
“Praise the Lord!”
“How we’ve missed you! And look at that beautiful baby!”
They all seemed to love her, and they barely gave Zeke a second glance.
He had to admit, he was surprised. He’d expected her to skulk in, ashamed;
now he realized that she’d been a part of a close faith community for a long
time. He’d definitely misjudged her.
Zeke swallowed as he watched her hugging her friends. One of the
barriers he’d used to keep himself from caring too much came tumbling
down. If Kendra wasn’t a scarlet woman—which he’d pretty much ceased
believing weeks ago—but was actually a struggling Christian, then why not
pursue the attraction between them?
Immediately he slammed the lid on that Pandora’s Box. Kendra was too
young; she thought of him as a rich old man. Probably a dirty old man too,
after what had happened the last time they were together.
Maybe his focus on Kendra’s weak values had a lot more to do with his
own. Maybe he was more like his parents than he wanted to think.
Other men might be able to relax. In fact, the men around the fireplace
seemed plenty comfortable with touching Kendra’s shoulder or kissing her
cheek in greeting. Zeke, on the other hand, needed to keep a tight rein on
himself. With his heredity and appetites, it would be all too easy for him to
fall into sin. And worse, to take Kendra with him.
As he watched her from the sidelines, he realized that she wasn’t
comfortable. Her head was high, and she smiled at everyone, but her green
eyes were troubled. As soon as she could, she used Sara as an excuse to go
into the restroom.
Several of the younger men watched her go with obvious admiration.
Zeke restrained his urge to blindfold them, maybe even hog-tie them. He
had to keep in mind that she wasn’t his woman. And if one of these nice
young church men—barely old enough to shave or hold a job, maybe, but at
least they were godly—liked her…well, that was certainly better than
Jimmy. Or him, old man that he was.
He felt himself scowling.
Kendra was attractive to men and always would be, but his discomfort
wasn’t only about that. When she’d stood in the midst of the fireplace
crowd, he could clearly see that she was important and beloved in this
community. The contrast with his own life was clear.
He was well-respected in the business community, but he wasn’t beloved,
not anywhere. He didn’t even have a place to call home.
When Kendra emerged from the restroom he went to her, moving quickly
to preempt the hesitant approaches of her lovesick young admirers. He
stuck close by her side as they walked into the light-filled sanctuary and
found a seat on the padded wood-plank pews.

Kendra was glad each time Sara started fussing during the service. It was
a welcome distraction from two things—the message, and Zeke.
Sometimes when Sara got restless, Zeke insisted on taking her herself,
and when she saw how he was able to comfort her, she felt an unwanted,
unreasonable surge of gladness. Even though he was her rival for the baby,
she wanted Sara to have a good man like Zeke in her life.
Kendra had been trying all morning to stoke herself back up into anger at
Zeke for what had happened the last time they’d been together. Then, she’d
been plenty angry. He’d hurt her badly by kissing her like that and then
leaving her. The pain of it had kept her awake most of the night.
Somewhere in the cold dawn, though, she’d realized where her anger
really belonged—at herself.
She had thrown herself at him, and she couldn’t deny it. The days of
being close to Zeke, of getting to know him, of coming to admire his high
standards, his intelligence, and his willingness to learn and cooperate in
taking care of Sara, all of it had made her feel far more than she should for
Zeke.
When he’d shown himself to be so caring about the blows of her past,
that, on top of everything else, had melted her defenses, and she had clung
to him. She’d even entertained an absurd hope that something could grow
between them—some deeper relationship, some commitment.
That hope had died when Zeke had pulled away from her and made it
clear he considered kissing her to be a horrible mistake.
 Watching Sara as she bounced in Zeke’s arms, Kendra’s confusion grew.
She could see that Zeke would be good for Sara. Despite his blind spots
about Kendra herself, Zeke was a good man with many resources and a
strong sense of responsibility. If possible, she should try to make joint
custody work with him.
On the other hand, given their unfortunate attraction, which even now
had her admiring the way his sports jacket suited his oh-so broad shoulders,
joint custody with Zeke was dangerous. Dangerous to their morality; and
deadly dangerous to Kendra’s heart.
As Sara began cooing louder, Zeke carried her out of the sanctuary.
Initially Kendra was relieved. It was a chance to stop all this circular
thinking about the impossible situation with Zeke.
But then she had nothing to do but listen to the service…and feel awful.
Awful, that she’d stopped coming to church; and awful, because she longed
to come back to the fold, but she couldn’t.
The New Testament readings focused on Paul’s many persecutions and
his strong faith that let him come through trouble with strength and positive
power. Pastor Tom looked directly at her when he spoke of drawing near to
the Lord in hard times.
Others—great saints—could do that, she supposed. But she was weak.
She was looking for someone to blame for all that had happened. Worst of
all, when she thought about the possibility of accepting Jesus’s comfort, she
felt guilty because of Cleo suffering the torments of the damned for all
eternity.
It wouldn’t be fair for her to live happy, in comfort, when her sister
couldn’t.
Zeke returned to the sanctuary, cradling the now-sleeping Sara, in time
for the last hymn. Kendra held the hymnal for both of them.
She discovered that Zeke had a deep, rich voice and that he knew most of
the words without looking at the hymnal. She did, too, because this was one
of her favorites. Or it used to be, anyway.
Now, it seemed to be speaking directly to her, like everything else in the
service. Must be the sign of a guilty conscience.
Come home, come home.
Ye that are weary, come home.
Earnestly, tenderly Jesus is calling
Calling, oh sinner, come home.
 Even though the message disturbed her, Kendra loved to sing, and she
had a decent voice. She knew the alto part on this hymn, and sang it, and
she was surprised to hear Zeke take the bass. Surrounded by the other
strong voices in this singing congregation, they harmonized together.
Kendra let her eyes drift around the sanctuary, taking it in—the older
folks, the young families, the shy new sweethearts. Above the altar, a clear
glass window revealed the bold, snow-covered peaks beyond, now bathed
in sunshine. Her immediate impulse was to share her sense of wonder with
Zeke, and she looked at him to find him glancing down at her at the same
time.
He seemed to sense her desire to share. He put an arm around her and
gave her shoulder a quick squeeze.
Joy rushed through her. All her life, she’d admired intact, picture-book
families—mom, dad, and kids. Due to her own father’s death, her mother’s
problems, and their poverty, she’d never had that kind of childhood.
How she wanted it for Sara. Wanted to be part of a happy Christian
family in the midst of a strong Christian community.
He was drawing her in. They were drawing her in, seducing her. Jesus
and Zeke.
She had to resist what was happening, or she’d be setting herself up for
more misery than she could handle when it all fell through, as it inevitably
would. When the next big disaster happened. When the next person she
cared about died unsaved. When Zeke went back to his upper class lifestyle
and glamorous girlfriends.
As soon as the benediction ended, she started gathering Sara’s things.
People were greeting Zeke, who’d identified himself as a first-time visitor,
but she ignored them. She had to get out of here, had to get outside to where
Jimmy would be waiting.
Then she noticed the crowd that was standing outside of the church. It
was one of the nicest days they’d had this winter, with the sun shining and
the temperatures unseasonably warm, and it made sense that people would
hang around outside for a while.
But she didn’t want to deal with them, so she veered into the small chapel
at the side of the main sanctuary. Thankfully, it was dark and empty. She’d
wait here with Sara until the crowd thinned out enough to make their
escape.
 She sank down into a pew and tried not to notice the cross at the front of
the chapel. Lord, she wanted it. Wanted to kneel down and beg God’s
forgiveness; wanted to feel that comfort that she’d felt for so many years.
Someone had once told her that hell was separation from God. If that was
true, then Kendra was now in hell.
Just like Cleo.
She was almost glad when Zeke came in. She needed the distraction from
her own thoughts, and from the pull she felt drawing her back into the
church, the altar, the cross.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Oh, just waiting for the crowd to thin out. I’m meeting Jimmy in the
parking lot.”
“And you don’t want to face all of those people,” he said.
“Maybe.” She felt irked that he could read her so easily.
“Kendra, you don’t have to get a ride with Jimmy. I’ll take you home.”
“It’s okay. I already called him. He’s coming up anyway, to look at my
car.”
“He’s going to get the wrong idea.” Zeke put one large hand on the back
of the pew and leaned toward her. The breadth of his shoulders in his
elegant wool sports coat took her breath away.
“We’ve been through this, Zeke,” she said. “He’s an old friend, and
we’ve always called each other when we needed help.”
“And he looks at you as a friend now?” Zeke asked.
“Yeah, mostly. I mean, he’s a little bit…” Uncomfortable, she went on
the attack. “Why are you harping on this stuff? I’m an adult living my own
life. I appreciate your bringing us down here today—sort of—but it doesn’t
mean I owe you explanations of everything I do!”
He sat down beside her and pounced. “Let’s talk about that sort of.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Let’s talk about why you were so jumpy in church.”
“Let’s don’t.” She ran a hand over the smooth, polished edge of the pew
in front of her. When she breathed in, trying to calm down, she smelled the
faint waxy scent of candles. Sunlight angled through the stained glass,
building a god-light. She could barely hear the voices of the people outside,
the sounds of car doors slamming, of trucks and cars starting up.
“I could see that you were moved, Kendra,” he said. “And I realized that
I totally misjudged what was going on with you. I didn’t have any idea that
you had this much of a church home.” He hesitated, then reached out and
took her hand. Not romantically, not twining his fingers with hers, but with
a comforting tight grip. “Kendra, let’s talk about what happened to your
faith.”
His hand wrapped around hers gave her warm sensations and wistful
notions about having someone to talk to about her questions and doubts.
What would it be like, she wondered, to have a partner who shared
everything, including his strong faith, with her? What would it be like to be
able to talk through the things that mattered, to read the Bible together, to
teach their children about God’s love, to pray together?
She looked into his eyes, so true and so good, and let herself dream
because she thought she saw some echo of the same dream there. At least
there was tenderness and caring.
“I know how much you need the comfort, Kendra,” Zeke said, his voice
gentle. “We all need it, but you, you’re such a funny mixture of toughness
and vulnerability. Scratch that touchy surface and you’re all heart.”
His sweet words did get through her defenses, and she felt herself
swayed. If she could come back to the fold…if she could learn to hear
God’s voice again, to know his wisdom…then maybe she and Zeke could…
“Kendra, I—” Zeke broke off whatever he’d been going to say and
cleared his throat. A troubled frown crossed his face.
Only then did she realize she’d been squeezing his hand and looking into
his eyes. Immediately she pulled her hand away and slid down the pew
from him, feeling herself blush.
It was that dream. The Norman Rockwell dream of a family that had
nothing to do with reality. Now, somehow, it was all mixed up with faith.
“I think it’s cleared out by now,” she said. “And Jimmy’s probably
getting mad. He doesn’t like waiting, especially at church.”
Zeke watched her, his face impassive, as she picked up Sara’s diaper bag.
“Do you want me to help you carry her out?” he asked.
“No,” she said, too weary to be tactful. “It’ll make him mad, and I can’t
deal with that right now.”
“Kendra—” He caught her hand. “Don’t choose to be with someone who
won’t support your spiritual growth. Especially now that I see this side of
you, I think you need a different kind of man than Jimmy.”
“Like who?” She jerked away from his too-appealing touch. “Like you?
Someone older and wiser, who claims to be such a good Christian?
Someone who kisses me like a lover one minute and shoves me away the
next?”
Zeke’s hands dropped to his sides. “No,” he said. “When you put it that
way, I guess not. I guess I don’t have any room to give advice.”
The self-loathing in his voice made her want, absurdly, to comfort him.
But she resisted her sympathy and fled as fast as someone laden down with
a diaper bag and a baby could flee.

*****

Later, back at the cabin, Kendra felt so jittery and annoyed with Jimmy’s
hovering that she welcomed his examination of Zeke’s computer. He’d
taken computer classes at the community college and he liked knowing how
things worked. Playing with Zeke’s up-to-the-minute laptop would keep his
attention off of her.
At least this way she’d get a little breathing room. After feeling
overwhelmed in the church service, and then again in the chapel with
Zeke’s presence, she really needed to be alone. Or just with Sara. Definitely
away from men.
But Jimmy had gotten her car running, and she was cooking him dinner
—their usual exchange. At least if he was puttering with the computer while
she cooked, he wouldn’t be trying to get his hands on her. Anyway, Zeke
had told her she could use it anytime she wanted to. What was the
difference if Jimmy checked it out?
Her mind churned. Zeke’s touch was so appealing, his Christian witness
so powerful. The way he looked at her, she was pretty sure he liked her; the
way he’d kissed her proved his physical attraction. Yet he was obviously
repulsed by the thought of their being a couple.
He was working hard to build a relationship with Sara, and he’d seemed
willing to cooperate with her on joint custody, at least until they’d made the
mistake of sharing that incredibly sweet kiss. If they could put that behind
them, though, shouldn’t she try to work out custody with Zeke, since that
had been Cleo and Garrett’s preferred plan?
Wouldn’t joint custody of two blood relatives be the best for Sara? And if
it was the best, could she stifle her own emotions about Zeke and make a
practical arrangement with him?
“Babe, come over here.”
 “I’m busy,” she said, though she wasn’t. She disliked the way Jimmy
called her babe and ordered her around, even though he didn’t mean it as
domination. It was just the way he’d grown up.
“Too busy to see what rich boy’s plotting?”
“What?” She rushed out of the kitchen alcove. “Jimmy, you’re not
looking at his files, are you? I told you—”
“Not his files, his emails. I clicked one open and found out something
very interesting.”
“How’d you get into his e-mail?” Fascinated despite herself, she walked
toward the computer.
“Passwords are pretty easy to break. Learned a few tricks in school.”
“Well, we shouldn’t look at it. Close it.”
Jimmy half-turned in the chair, and met her eyes. “Babe. His lawyer
thinks it’ll be easy to bring in expert witnesses who can get him custody.”
“What?” Kendra froze, then took two giant steps closer to peer at the
screen. “Son of a gun,” she breathed as she read through the lawyer’s
message. Then, as Jimmy scrolled the rest of the way down the page, she
saw the original message Zeke had sent.
It detailed the will and the hearing, described both her and Jimmy as
unsuitable parents, and expressed Zeke’s willingness to pay whatever it
would take to get custody of Sara for himself.
The jerk! Just a few days after kissing her like he adored her, and just an
hour before taking her to church, he’d been emailing his lawyers to get
them digging dirt on her and Jimmy.
Beneath her anger, a swelling sense of hurt lurked, ready to set free the
tears that pricked her eyes. How could he? Zeke, who was so good, so true,
so honorable…how could he betray her so completely? She felt like
throwing herself onto the floor and sobbing like an abandoned child.
But she wasn’t giving in to tears. She was fighting him on this.
“Aw, man, I’m goin’ over there.”
“To do what?”
“Beat the crap out of him.”
“No, Jimmy. Violence isn’t the answer, though it sure would feel good
right about now.” Besides, she didn’t think Jimmy could really beat up
Zeke.
Jimmy stood and squinted out the window toward Zeke’s cabin. Behind
his beard, his face had turned a dangerous shade of red.
 “Let’s think about this. Calm down. Sit down. Dinner’s almost ready.”
Jimmy wanted custody of Sara, but he didn’t have a clue as to how to fight
for it, given the superiority of Zeke’s weapons.
To top off a really bad day, Sara was fussing in the corner, and sneezing a
little bit, even though Kendra had thought she was down for the night.
Jimmy got madder and madder. Even after dinner, he was still fuming,
and when she wouldn’t let him go confront Zeke—in fact, threatened to call
the police if he did—he said he was going to his favorite bar.
Kendra had been there herself a couple of times, to pick up Cleo, and she
thought of the rowdy atmosphere, the crowd of tough cronies Jimmy had
there, the parking lot fights. Thought of the gun Jimmy carried in his truck.
Thought of Zeke. “I don’t think you should go,” she said to Jimmy.
“I gotta do something.” Jimmy was pacing.
Kendra had a terrible feeling about Jimmy going out and getting drunk.
She just knew someone would get hurt. “Don’t go,” she said, putting her
hand on his arm. “Please. I want you to stay.”
Jimmy had his arm halfway into his coat, but he paused and turned to her.
“You want me to stay? The night?”
“Well, the baby’s sick,” she temporized. “I can’t handle her alone. So yes,
I want you to stay.”
“Rich boy’s gonna get mad,” Jimmy said, a slow grin creeping across his
face.
“If he gets mad,” Kendra said deliberately, her heart breaking, “so be it.
I’m through trying to cooperate with him.”
 CHAPTER NINE

The next morning Zeke pounded on Kendra’s door five minutes after
Jimmy had spewed gravel on his way out of the driveway.
“I want an explanation.” The words were out before he fully perceived
the dark circles under Kendra’s eyes and the crying baby in her arms.
“For what?” she asked, sounding utterly weary.
Zeke ignored the way his heart tried to go out to her. Yesterday she’d
talked like she cared about Zeke and about living a Christian life. And then
she’d spent the night with another man.
It had been one of the worst nights of Zeke’s life. He’d started out feeling
guilty about his plans to fight for custody. Alongside the guilt had coexisted
a tiny, joyous hope that if Kendra pulled herself together, the two of them
might develop some sort of relationship. Okay, that wasn’t likely, given his
own negative family history. But he hadn’t been able to entirely forget the
image he’d had earlier that day of Kendra in glorious white lace.
He’d found himself thinking up excuses to come over to her cabin, just as
soon as Jimmy left. And then, as it dawned on him that Jimmy wasn’t going
to leave, he’d slowly lost it. Righteous indignation mingled with
testosterone-laden jealousy. He’d barely slept all night.
He’d been growing to admire and believe in her more with each passing
day. What a blow to learn that she couldn’t be trusted. Zeke was going to
get Sara away from her bad influence, no matter what.
“What do you want?” she asked.
“I want an explanation,” he repeated, “for why he spent the night with
you.”
“Well, you don’t get one. So you may as well just leave. I’m busy.”
She sounded angry at him. At him. And she was trying to keep him out.
Of all the nerve. “I need to get online, do some work,” he said. “I needed to
last night, but you seemed to be…occupied.” He knew he sounded petulant,
but he was too angry to care.
He hoped he’d never have a night like last night again in his life. And one
way to ensure it was to get far away from Kendra Forrester. For a start, he
was leaving tonight for Denver to attend Christine’s concert, and maybe get
a little advice and sympathy from her.
Kendra jiggled Sara, who also looked exhausted, but blessedly stopped
fussing. “I’m sure your computer work is important, but I have a life too.”
“That’s obvious. Can I come in now, or is your life still too busy?”
She rolled her eyes. “Come in, if you have to.”
Zeke tried to get a grip on his emotions by heading directly for his
computer. He felt incredibly betrayed, especially after their closeness in
church yesterday. For a couple of minutes there, he’d even thought about
the three of them being a family together. And yet she’d gone straight from
bonding with him to spending the night with another man.
He clicked on the computer without looking at her. Somewhere deep
inside he acknowledged the other source of his betrayed feelings. A few
days ago, Kendra had kissed him like she meant it. And even though her
apparent attraction to him was disturbing, he had to admit that it had made
him feel good.
He was attracted to her, sure. He’d known that since day one. But to learn
that she was attracted to him, even with the age difference and all the other
barriers between them…he realized now that a part of him had been filled
with sheer, male exultation.
That exultation had died a slow death last night.
When the computer was ready, Zeke clicked on his email, and two things
pressed on his awareness simultaneously.
One, he didn’t think he’d shut down his computer before, but it was off
now.
And two, there was an email from his lawyer he hadn’t seen, but it didn’t
have the “new” icon by it. It had already been opened.
He pushed back his chair without regard for how loudly it scraped the
pine floor. “You’ve been reading my email.”
“Shhh.” Kendra straightened from where she’d been leaning over the
crib, shoving her fingers through her wildly uncombed hair. “She’s almost
asleep, finally.” She slid closed the curtains at the window near the cradle,
took a last look at Sara, and then went to the fireplace and flopped down in
the big chair.
He walked over and stood in front of her. “You read my e-mail.”
“Yeah.” She looked up at him. “And I found out you’re trying to get your
lawyers to dig up dirt on me, because you think I’m a bad parent.”
 “You had no right to read private correspondence.”
She shrugged. “Wasn’t my idea. But now I’m glad Jimmy happened on
that message, because now I know what you’re doing. You’re willing to use
any means possible to get sole custody of Sara.”
“That’s right. I want her raised in a Christian household. Not one where
different men sleep over all the time.”
“Jealous?”
“Not really,” he lied. “I wouldn’t want a woman who can switch her
affections that easily.” The words came out icy, but inside his heart burned.
She studied his face for a minute. Then her eyes went to the couch.
“Look there, Zeke.”
He looked. “At what?”
“At that pile of blankets.”
“Yeah, so?”
“So, since it’s of so much interest to you, Jimmy didn’t sleep in my bed.”
His relief was so great that it scared him. He had to turn away and take
deep breaths. Why was he so hung up on Kendra; why did the realization—
or at least her assertion, because he didn’t completely trust her—that she
hadn’t been intimate with Jimmy, fill him with such a wild joy?
“So, Zeke.”
He turned back.
“Who’s the better person? The one who read your mail, or the one who
can act kind and loving even while his expensive lawyers work on taking
Sara away from the person who’s been caring for her practically since she
was born?”
Her words shook Zeke. He was trying to get custody of Sara in order to
do his duty by her, to help her as he hadn’t helped Garrett. Seeing his own
actions through Kendra’s eyes made him question if he was doing the right
thing.
A thin cry from Sara broke into his guilty reflections. The cry quickly
rose to a wail.
With a worried frown, Kendra stood and went to the crib. Zeke followed
her.
Sara’s face was screwed up and red, and she was bawling mightily.
“What’s wrong with her?” Zeke asked.
“I don’t know.” Kendra leaned over the crib, stroking Sara. “She’s got a
stuffed-up nose, so she can’t take a bottle very well because she can’t
breathe. I think she’s just hungry, but I don’t know.”
“Could it be something serious?” Listening to Sara’s cries, Zeke felt
helpless.
“It might be. She didn’t have a temperature an hour ago, but I’ll take it
again in a little bit.”
“Want me to make a bottle for her?”
“Yeah, that would be great. And I’ll try to rock her to sleep. She really
needs to sleep.”
“Looks like you do, too.” He was standing close to Kendra, and he put an
arm around her shoulder. She leaned on him for just a minute, and then she
stiffened and pulled away. She walked over to the rocking chair and sat
down.
While Zeke mixed up formula, his thoughts raced. What if Sara was
really sick? He didn’t know how to care for her, didn’t know to do anything
except take her to the doctor. It was food for thought as he tried to get sole
custody of her.
More food for thought was the fact that Kendra clearly thought him cruel
and wrong for his plans to take Sara away from her.
Was he wrong to try to get her away from her aunt who, whatever her
faults, clearly loved her?
He’d been working so hard to prove that he was a good person. Good,
even though he’d failed his younger brother. Good, unlike his parents with
their immoral lifestyles. He held himself rigid, trying to be so good. And he
judged others, like Kendra, without stopping to find out the facts about how
she was really living her life.
He suddenly saw that he was living like a Pharisee—creating a bunch of
rules and trying to force himself and others to live by them. But that wasn’t
the way the Bible said to live.
Not by works, but by faith.
Where was his faith, if he was trying so hard to make the custody
arrangements fit his own plans? Where was the room for God to work if
Zeke King stayed endlessly busy trying to fix the situation?
And yet…he couldn’t see how even God could create the right solution.
For him to share custody with Kendra was completely untenable. They
couldn’t get along for half a day. At the same time that they were fighting,
Zeke felt totally drawn to Kendra, to the point where his principles
threatened to go right out the window. He’d be burning with unrequited
love the whole time he lived anywhere near Kendra. Or worse, he’d be
unable to resist her and end up leading them both astray.
For him to give up custody meant that Jimmy might gain control. Jimmy,
who wasn’t a believer, who read other people’s mail, and who was
undoubtedly trying to get Kendra into his bed without benefit of marriage,
no matter how successful she’d been so far at evading his advances.
The only solution he could see was for him to fight hard for custody. And
he’d been blessed with the money, knowledge, and connections to be able
to do it. Wasn’t that of God?
He carried the warm bottle over to where Kendra sat in the rocking chair.
Sara’s cries had subsided into soft moans, and Zeke knew it was because of
the comfort of a mother figure. Was he right to deprive Sara of that?
He handed Kendra the bottle and she eased it into Sara’s mouth. Zeke
leaned against the mantel and watched her. Now he saw the deep circles
under her eyes, the pulse that fluttered too fast in her pale white neck. Her
ancient-looking flannel shirt was buttoned askew over old sweats.
She was having a rough time of it, and he was partly the cause. And even
though he still felt angry with her, he felt all wrong for hurting her too.
“Did you get any sleep?” he asked quietly once Sara was suckling the
bottle.
“Not much. And not for the reason you think, either.”
“That’s not what I meant.” He sighed, and walked over, and sat down on
the braided rug at her feet. “Listen, I’m sorry I made that assumption about
you. I was worried, because I don’t think he’s the right man for you—”
She started to protest and he held up a hand.
“Wait. I know, it’s not my place to make judgments like that. But the
other reason is, I was jealous.”
“Zeke, you have no right.” Her eyes burned green fire as she looked at
him.
Some too-proud, too-male part of him wouldn’t let it go. “You were
kissing me last week.”
“Yes, and I regret that. But you have a girlfriend, special friend,
whatever. The one whose picture I saw.”
“Christine.”
“Yeah. I know she emails you. How do you think I feel about her?”
“Jealous?” Deep inside a flicker of gladness ignited.
 She dropped her eyes and laughed, short and harsh. “Yeah. That’s rich,
isn’t it? I’m jealous of a woman I’ve never even met. Over a guy who’s
trying to double-cross me. Talk about messed up.”
Zeke hardly knew where to begin answering. “I don’t mean to…” He
trailed off. He was going to say he didn’t mean to double-cross her, but now
he was having doubts about his whole modus operandi. He addressed her
other statement instead. “You’re not messed up, Kendra, just very human.
Like all of us.”
“Yeah. Well, I’m too tired to appreciate your philosophy right now.”
He looked at Sara. “She’s falling asleep.”
“Yeah. If last night’s pattern holds, it won’t last too long, especially since
she didn’t drink much. But maybe she’ll get an hour of rest.”
“And you too.” He held out his arms. “Let me put her in her crib. You
can take a nap.”
“That’s okay, I’m fine, I don’t need…” Her words faded into a huge
yawn.
He scooped up the sleeping baby gently, putting his face against hers to
test its heat. She felt a little warm. He carried her to her crib and laid her
down.
Then he turned back. “Look, why don’t you go over to my cabin and get
an hour’s sleep? I’ll stay here and watch her.”
“And do your correspondence?” she said sarcastically.
He didn’t know how to answer that. “You’re tired.”
Her jaw tightened as she suppressed another yawn, and her eyes flickered
in the direction of his cabin. He watched, concern twisting inside his chest,
as she lost her battle with fatigue.
“All right,” she said. “I’ll go try to get a little sleep, but come over and
get me if she wakes up.”

In Zeke’s cabin, Kendra lay down on the bed covered by her old sunburst
quilt and tried to get the sleep she so badly needed. But her thoughts
wouldn’t stop racing.
Her love for Sara had her worried about the way the baby had fussed
through the night. She knew she was probably overreacting, but Cleo had
entrusted the baby to her, and Sara was all Kendra had left of her sister. She
couldn’t let anything happen to her.
 Jimmy had told her she was worrying too much, that babies just cried.
He’d wanted her to let Sara cry herself to sleep, had said she was spoiling
her by going to her every time she let out a wail. Maybe he was right. She
didn’t know. She was twenty-two years old and she had full responsibility
for a baby, and she worried herself sick that she wasn’t competent enough
to handle it.
She hated, too, that she had to worry about the cost of a doctor’s visit.
There was just no way she could afford a real doctor, so it would have to be
the clinic. But at the clinic, you sometimes had to wait for hours—in a room
full of other sick babies.
Well, she’d just have to make them look at Sara first, if Sara was
seriously ill.
That decided, she took deep breaths and tried to sleep. But the two men
in her life wouldn’t let her imagination alone.
Jimmy had been so angry last night. He was angry at Zeke, primarily—
the fact that the other man could afford lawyers and expert witnesses
infuriated him, and the notion that such connections might result in Kendra
and Jimmy losing custody of Sara made him close to violent. He’d felt
powerless, she understood that; and he had wanted to assert the kind of
power he did have, physical power.
After she’d talked him into staying at her place rather than going to that
awful bar, things had gone from bad to worse. Jimmy had become amorous,
and she’d had to push him away, and then he’d gotten furious at her for
leading him on. It was more rejection, more feelings of powerlessness for
him, and he didn’t handle it well at all.
In the midst of the struggle Zeke’s words had come back to her. “Guys
are pretty simple. When a woman calls them, they think she likes them.” Of
course. So what else would Jimmy have thought when she asked him stay
the night—even on her couch—but that she wanted intimacy?
She guessed she could feel good about the fact that Jimmy hadn’t gotten
drunk and attacked Zeke. Except now, both of them were mad at her.
Playing rescuer was certainly a thankless job.
She flopped over to her other side, restless. What had Cleo been thinking
to award custody to Jimmy as a second choice? Kendra didn’t know why
her sister had done it, but she knew she’d made a mistake.
The upshot was, Kendra had to find a way to keep custody of Sara
without Jimmy’s help.
 That meant there were only two options. She could find a way to
cooperate with Zeke; or she could fight for sole custody herself.
Legal aid versus Zeke’s expensive team. Yeah, right.
But cooperating with Zeke didn’t seem much more promising. Not when
she’d fallen in love with him while he was committed to another.
Hot tears pricked the backs of Kendra’s eyes. This was insane. There was
no right answer.
And she knew exactly what the elders would say, her aunts who had been
so important in her upbringing—when there’s no answer, God has the
answer.
Kendra turned over on her side.
On Zeke’s bedside table was his Bible.
She stared at it for a long time. Then, reluctantly, resentfully, she picked
up the book and opened it.

*****

Zeke let Kendra sleep for as long as he could. He could see how
desperately she needed it. But when Sara started uttering the little cries that
indicated she was waking up, there was an odd barking sound to them.
He went to her and her fair skin was flushed pink. Her breathing was
labored. She was still sleeping, but crying at the same time.
Zeke was no expert on babies, but he didn’t like the looks of this.
Automatically, he clicked through his phone contacts to find one of the
three men he’d trust with his life. He tried calling Daniel, and when he
didn’t reach him, left an urgent message.
Next he texted Kendra and then tried to call her, but when he heard a
buzzing sound, he realized that she’d muted her phone and left it here.
He hurried over to his cabin and approached the bed where Kendra lay
sleeping. He reached for her, and then paused.
Clutched in her hand was his Bible. And with her hair flung back, her
cheeks pink, and her face finally relaxed, she looked like everything he’d
ever wanted in a woman.
God help him, had he fallen in love with her?
And what did that mean if it was true?
He didn’t trust her. And he knew she was too young for him. If he was
jealous now, when he was in the full blood of manhood and she was
isolated in a mountain hideaway, how would he feel when he was fifty and
she just in her thirties? What about when Kendra got exposed to the world,
to all the men who would want to be with her?
He thought of the young men who had admired her at church and
wondered how he could compete with the likes of them. Thought of how
popular and beloved she was, and wondered what possible reason she’d
have to choose someone like him.
Shaking aside his troubling thoughts, he sat on the edge of the bed and
touched her arm. Her skin was so smooth, so white.
So young. “Kendra?”
She stirred, and her eyes opened. They looked right into his. And she
smiled, like she was glad to see him. “Zeke.”
More than he’d ever wanted anything, he wanted her to wake up and look
at him like that every morning for the rest of their lives. He wanted it and it
was wrong. He had to stop.
He pulled himself back to the business at hand. “Kendra, honey, we’ve
got to do something about Sara.”
She jerked upright. “What’s wrong?”
He kept a hand on her arm, gentling her. “Don’t panic. She’s waking up
and she seems hot. And she sounds a little funny.”
Kendra forked her fingers through that gloriously messy hair. She started
to scoot out of the bed and her hand fell on the Bible. She stared at it for a
minute and then lifted her eyes to Zeke. “I was…looking for something to
read.”
“You found the best.”
“Yeah, well, maybe.” Scooting to the edge of the bed, she slid her feet
into her loafers. “Come on, let’s go.”
When they opened the door Sara was crying full-strength, a high-pitched,
squeaky sound.
Kendra ran to her and picked her up. “She’s hot!”
“Yeah. I thought so too.”
“I’ll take her temperature. Then we’ve got to take her to the clinic. Or—”
Her eyes met his, green and worried. “I have to take her to the clinic. You
don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”
In Kendra’s voice he read the resignation of a woman who didn’t expect
any help and wasn’t used to getting any. “You and Sara are coming with me
to Denver,” he said, watching Kendra try to hold the thermometer under
Sara’s arm while the baby cried and arched away from her. He ran his
thumb over his phone, scrolling through the messages. “I have a doctor
friend who’ll help us get an appointment.”
“We can’t go with you. I’m afraid my car won’t make it.”
“We’ll go in my truck.”
“But how will Sara and I get back?”
He was looking up places to stay on his phone when a text came in.
Daniel. Good. “We’ll all stay at a hotel. Don’t worry, we’ll get a suite or
something.”
“I can’t afford this.”
Zeke punched in the number Daniel had texted him, and hearing his
friend’s voice was a relief. He described Sara’s symptoms.
Daniel made noncommittal noises. “Yeah. Yeah. You’ll want to see this
friend of mine at Children’s. I’ll make an appointment for you in, what,
three hours?”
“Great. Thanks, man.”
“Talk soon.” The other man rang off.
“Get ready.” He strode over and held out his arms for the screaming,
gasping baby. “What’s her temperature?”
“She wouldn’t let me hold it there till it beeped, but it’s too high. Zeke,
did you hear me say I can’t afford this trip?”
“I can. Don’t worry about it.”
“I don’t—”
“Take charity,” he interrupted. “I know, but I’m Sara’s uncle and she’s
sick. Get ready.”
She frowned down at Sara, her eyes troubled.
“Please? I know I’m being bossy, but a good pediatrician and fast care
has to be better than the clinic. And I know you’re upset with me about my
lawyers, and rightly so, but Sara’s needs are more important than our
differences.”
She studied his face for a moment longer, and then pulled out an ancient
suitcase and started throwing baby things into it.
“I just have one question,” she said above Sara’s choking cries. Her eyes
and hands stayed busy with packing as he walked the floor with the baby.
“What?” He watched her bend over the suitcase. Her willowy figure was
the epitome of grace, but it was the concern on her face, and her efficient
work on Sara’s behalf, that captivated him even more.
“Why were you going to Denver, anyway?”
Zeke swallowed. “To…a concert.”
“Who’s singing?”
“Christine.”
 CHAPTER TEN

“I don’t like how quiet she’s getting.” Half-crouched in the truck’s

narrow backseat, Kendra studied Sara’s glassy eyes with a heart full of
worry. “I don’t know what to do.”
Zeke accelerated slightly and then eased off as they approached another
curve. He was driving fast, but she trusted his ability.
“Is she still hot?” Zeke asked as the road straightened out again. They
were approaching the foot of the mountains, thank heavens.
“Yeah. I don’t know how much of that cherry-flavored stuff ended up
inside her. I think she spit most of it back out on me.”
“I’m praying hard for her.” Zeke squealed around a curve.
“Good.”
“You could, too.”
“Yeah, right. A lot of good that did the last time.” The memory of her
fervent prayers for Cleo and Garrett slammed into her mind, almost making
her sick.
“Isn’t it worth a try?”
Zeke’s words hung in the air, and as she watched Sara struggle for air,
she knew she’d do anything for this child. Even if it meant making a fool of
herself again, getting devastated again, opening herself up to be wounded.
She put her hand on Sara’s rapidly moving chest and prayed. God, I only
have a little faith, and a lot of doubts. But even a mustard-seed’s worth is
supposed to be enough. So please, heal this innocent child and let her live,
happy and healthy.
She felt like she should make some kind of a promise. Like, if God
would heal Sara, then she would start going to church again. Would come
back to the fold.
Give her up.
Where had that come from?
“Did you say something?” she asked Zeke.
“No.”
“I thought I heard a voice.”
 Traffic was getting heavier now as they approached Denver. Zeke
maneuvered around a couple of slow-moving vehicles. “What did you
hear?”
“Nothing. I couldn’t understand it.” Meanwhile, Kendra’s mind was
racing. Give her up? Give up Sara? God couldn’t be so cruel. Not a second
time.
“You know, Kendra,” Zeke said from the front seat as they exited the
freeway, “it’s all in God’s hands. If it’s his will, she’ll be okay.”
“So you can just sit back and relax? Not a care in the world?” She didn’t
bother to hide the anger in her voice.
He steered into the hospital parking lot. “No,” he said. “I’m terrified. Just
like you are.”
Moments later, they were in the examining room with the high-powered
pediatrician Zeke’s friend had recommended. Sara cried, weak and fretful,
as the doctor examined her.
“It’s a good thing you got her in here quickly,” said the petite, dark-
skinned doctor. A faintly Caribbean lilt made her voice musical. “This
might be the new virus that’s been going around, but it looks to me like
pneumonia. In either case, she’s dehydrated and that’s dangerous for a little
one.”
“She can’t keep anything down,” Kendra explained.
“We’re going to set up an IV,” the doctor said, “and start her on
antibiotics. I’ll draw some blood too, and start running tests. Then we’ll get
her into a tent with some extreme humidity to help her breathe better.”
“Is she going to be all right?”
The doctor picked Sara up and held her close while her eyes met
Kendra’s. “I want to say yes. She’s a good weight and looks healthy. But
her temperature hasn’t come down much despite the medication you gave
her.” She looked at Sara, stroked her thin red hair with a dark, capable-
looking hand, and smiled at Kendra. “You know, it’s not completely in our
hands, however much we doctors like to think so.”
That wasn’t reassuring, and the tears that had been threatening flowed.
Zeke’s arm went around Kendra’s shoulders. “Hey. We’ll get through
this. She’s in good hands.”
“The best,” the pediatrician said matter-of-factly. “We have state-of-the-
art equipment here and a premier children’s facility. We’ll do all that’s
humanly possible to bring this little one back to her healthy self.”
 After they’d drawn blood, which made Kendra cry right along with Sara,
Kendra and Zeke were shoed to the waiting area while they took the crying
baby away for a chest x-ray.
“I hate the way they’re poking and prodding her.” Kendra leaned against
Zeke’s arm, which was stretched along the back of her chair.
“That poking and prodding may save her life. I didn’t realize she could
get so sick so fast.”
“I didn’t either. There’s so much I don’t know about babies.” Her
stomach roiled with nervous tension. “I feel really inadequate right now.”
“Hey, you knew she was sick, and you got her help.”
“No, you got her help. Without you, we’d still be in the clinic waiting
room.” She turned to him. “Zeke, thank you for bringing us down here and
getting that wonderful doctor. I wish she’d been a little more reassuring, but
I can tell she’s good.”
He pulled her against his shoulder. “I’m glad I could do something. I hate
feeling helpless, and up at the cabin, I couldn’t do anything for her.”
Kendra closed her eyes and tried to relax, still leaning her head against
Zeke’s broad shoulder. She could smell his spicy scent, mixed with the mild
chemical odor of the hospital. Through his sweater, his arm felt warm.
When he started stroking her hair in that careful, treasuring way, she
couldn’t help remembering what he’d said on that night they had kissed.
I’ve dreamed of touching you like this. Had he been dreaming of it still?
She lifted her chin a little to look at him, and that was a mistake. He was
looking down at her, and there was something that looked dark and a little
dangerous in his eyes.
Oh, God, help us, she prayed as naturally as breathing. And then she
wondered at herself, praying like that. Could she rely on God? Better not.
She sat upright, pulling away from Zeke.
A nurse brought Sara back into her room, and the doctor beckoned them
in. “What we’re going to do now will look strange to you,” she said, “but
she definitely has pneumonia. So I’m setting up this IV—” she was working
as she talked “—but to keep her from pulling it out, I have to put a board on
her arm and wrap it all up in gauze, like so.”
Sara turned and moaned a little, but didn’t cry.
“She’s letting you do that,” Kendra marveled.
“Believe me,” the doctor said, “I’ll be glad when she starts to fight us.
Now, the next step,” she added as Kendra started to question her, “is this
tent over her crib. See, it’s got a plastic zip where you can put your hands in
to touch her. That will be soothing as her breathing starts getting better.”
“Is she…going to get better?”
The doctor studied them evenly. “As I said before, that isn’t in our
hands.”

*****

Three hours later, Zeke carried a tray of sandwiches, fruit, and coffee
through the nearly empty hospital cafeteria toward the table where Kendra
sat. She looked so weary.
They’d waited in Sara’s room in the pediatric unit until the baby had
fallen into a deep sleep. Her breathing was easier, thanks to the tent, and the
nurse seemed to think the danger was past. But Kendra, he knew, wouldn’t
stop worrying until she got good news from the doctor herself.
“Buck up, mom,” he said, putting the tray down on the table. “I brought
us a late lunch.”
“I’m not hungry. I just want coffee.” She reached for the steaming cup.
He got there first and moved it away from her. “No coffee until you eat
your sandwich. You’ve got to keep up your strength.”
“Are you always so bossy?”
“Uh-huh. That’s why they made me the boss.”
She picked up the sandwich, studied it with distaste, and finally took a
little bite. She chewed, swallowed, and sighed. Then she breathed in and
out, and forced a smile. “I thought you started the company you run.”
“I did, but before that I worked at a couple of other companies, and I was
so bossy they had to put me in charge. You get in the habit. Take another
bite.”
She shook her head, a real smile creasing her face. “You’re way out of
line.” But she took another bite.
“Okay, you can have the coffee if you keep eating.”
“I’ll eat if you tell me about your company.”
Zeke was surprised that she wanted to make small talk. Considering what
was going on with Sara, and considering her righteous anger about his
calling in his lawyers, he was surprised she’d even speak to him.
But that was Kendra. She wasn’t one to sulk.
 “Come on, distract me from worrying,” she urged him. “How are you
going to be in charge if you just sit in front of your computer all day?”
“Telecommuting, downsizing, moving more sales online.”
“But that’s not people stuff. Aren’t you going to get bored?”
Her perception surprised him. “I might,” he said, “except that I’m in the
process of making a change. I’ve passed off more of the day-to-day running
of the business to my two top managers, and I’m working on a book
project.”
“You’re writing a book? What about?”
“Ethics in business.” He felt his neck get hot. Truthfully, he hadn’t told
many people about his project because he felt inadequate to write it. Even
though he’d had the idea for years, he had always put it off, waiting for
more expertise, a surer sense of rightness.
“Do you have a publisher?”
“I have an agent who’s looking for a publisher.”
“What brought this on?”
He could tell she was still seeking distraction from her worry about Sara,
but she sounded interested too. He liked that. It would be nice to be able to
talk things through with Kendra on a more regular basis. She listened like
she really cared.
“Zeke, pay attention. Tell me what brought on your desire to write a
book.”
Generous soul that she was, she was trying to distract him too. “It was
actually Garrett’s death,” he explained. “I realized if I wanted to make a
difference in the world beyond just making a lot of money, I’d better get
started.”
“Mid-life crisis?” she asked teasingly.
“Something you’d be too young to know about.”
“Okay, Mr. Experience.”
Their eyes met. Zeke’s thoughts shifted to another kind of experience.
He’d tried hard to keep himself on the straight and narrow, but at thirty-five,
he obviously had done more living than Kendra had.
Lord, I want to share that experience with her.
The spontaneous prayer startled him. Confused, he looked at Kendra, in
time to see her red cheeks fade to pink.
What had she been thinking about?
 Something else they needed to distract themselves from, apparently, and
it was his turn to provide the topic. “What about you, Kendra? What are you
going to do with your business?” He gestured toward the giant fabric bag
she’d brought with her. Inside was part of a quilt she was piecing together
by hand, for Sara’s bed. She’d worked on it a little in Sara’s hospital room.
She looked at the bag, then at him. “You really want to know?”
“I really do.” Why would she think otherwise? He found he wanted to
know everything about her.
“Well,” she said, her eyes going dreamy, “I want my business to grow,
grow, grow. I want my quilts and wall hangings to be sold all over the U.S.
And I want to make patterns so other women can make the easy ones
themselves, and I want to teach classes. Quilting’s therapeutic.”
“Sounds like you’ve got a business plan,” he said, surprised.
“Yeah. I do. I took classes on it before, well, before Sara came to stay.”
Her mouth twisted. “And this is awful, Zeke, but I felt upset that I had to
quit my business classes because I couldn’t afford them and the baby both.
Oh, Lord, if I could take back those thoughts…what’s a business class
compared to a baby!”
“Hey.” He put a hand over hers to stop its nervous movements. “Taking
care of a baby is a sacrifice. Everyone who does it has to give something
up, and that’s not easy.”
“You’re right, I guess. I don’t know that many moms, living up on the
mountain like I do. I want to get her into a play group so I can meet some
other women who—” She broke off abruptly.
“What’s wrong?” He glanced behind him to see what had stopped her,
see if the nurse was beckoning, but there was no one there.
“Nothing.”
“What?” he insisted, trapping her hand under his. He couldn’t help liking
the feel of it, slender and strong.
“It’s just…I want to get her into a play group. If she’s okay. And if I get
custody of her, despite your lawyers.”
The words hung between them. She met his eyes.
“Right.” He let out a sigh and looked around the room, thinking.
The cafeteria smelled of turkey and stuffing, the special of the day. The
noise level was low, just the occasional clanking of silverware against plate
or bowl, a low murmur from the group of doctors in scrubs in one corner,
and the janitor leaning against the cashier’s stand. A couple of groups in
civilian clothes sat around widely scattered tables, talking quietly.
It was a normal workday scene for some of them; for others, a turning
point in their lives as they waited to learn the fate of their loved ones.
He and Kendra were a part of that latter group. If, God forbid, Sara got
worse instead of better, then they’d both have to move on with the
devastation caused by that loss. If she turned out to be all right, then there
would be another kind of devastation for one or the other of them—
whoever didn’t get custody.
Being at risk of the first, fatal kind of loss, it made no sense at all that he
was trying to cause the second type to Kendra, via his extremely skilled
lawyers.
“Listen,” he said, “when all of this is over, when Sara’s better, we have to
sit down and figure out what to do. I…may have been too hasty in pushing
legal action. It might be that we can still work something out between us.”
“Do you think so, Zeke?” Her hand was still trapped under his, and she
turned it over suddenly and interlaced her fingers with his.
He felt an instant heat rush through him and reflexively he tightened his
grip to match hers. He cleared his throat, but before he could speak she
went on.
“Do you think we could work together on custody for Sara, without
getting closer than we should? Because I don’t. Not when just sitting
together in a hospital cafeteria, holding hands, makes you look at me like
that.”
Deliberately, she brought their linked hands to her face and lay her cheek
against them. Her green eyes, enormous, never left his. “Zeke, we’d always
be at risk.” She pulled her hand away from his. “I know I’m not your kind. I
know you could never commit to someone like me. But if we’re not
together that way, then we’re going to drive ourselves crazy.”
“Kendra—”
“I don’t think it’s just going to go away. I…for me anyway, it’s getting
more intense, not less.”
He started to speak.
“Shhh.” She touched his lips with a cool, pale finger, and his heart rate
doubled.
She studied him, her color high, a womanly wisdom beyond her years
deepening the green of her eyes. “See? It’s not going to work.”
 She stood, spun, and walked across the cafeteria, weaving between
tables, her shoulders stiff as a marine recruit.

*****

Zeke spent the next half-hour trying to think through what she’d said.
The blunt way she’d acknowledged the attraction between them took his
breath away. Meanwhile, the accusation that he’d never go for someone like
her pierced his heart.
He had been trying to condemn her ever since he’d first heard of her, but
he had to admit that he’d been totally wrong. Kendra was nothing like the
image he’d created in his head, based on his brother’s hurt and anger
against Cleo. He stood convicted of wrongful judgment.
Once he admitted it, he had to admit, too, how much he felt for her. But
she’d said it herself—it would never work between them. She was way too
young for him. As a younger person, she looked up to him; but when he was
around her, he wasn’t a person worth looking up to. He had all kinds of
wrong desires around her, the kind of desires that had gotten his parents in
trouble.
If he let his strong feelings for Kendra override his good judgment, he
wasn’t worthy of her and didn’t deserve her. It felt like an endless circle,
one he couldn’t find his way out of.
He dropped his face into his hands and prayed, wordlessly.

*****

Back on the pediatric floor, Dr. Greene was all smiles. “Things are
looking good for little Miss Sara. She’s responding very well to the
medication, and her fluid levels are almost back to normal.”
“Does that mean she’s going to be okay?”
“She’s going to be okay.”
Kendra flew into Zeke’s arms with a sob of joy, and as he held her he
couldn’t swallow the lump in his throat. For the first time he fully
acknowledged how scared he’d been.
Kendra let go of him and hugged Dr. Greene. “Thank you, thank you!”
“Thank modern medicine, and the Good Lord. And then I’ll take a little
of the leftover credit.” She tapped her clipboard after Kendra let go of her.
“Now, I do want her to stay for, say, 48 hours. We need to keep her on the
IV antibiotics at first, and in the tent for another twelve hours at least. We’ll
make a decision tomorrow about when she can go home.”
“Oh.” Kendra looked disappointed. “I was hoping we could take her
home tonight. Can we stay here at the hospital?”
“Hmmm. I think our Family House might be full tonight, but you can
check with the receptionist. If not, there are several hotels near the
hospital.”
“Will she wake up again? I want to be with her…”
“She might wake up for a few minutes later tonight, but she’ll be groggy.
Probably too groggy to drink a bottle, but the night nurse will try.” Dr.
Greene put a hand on Kendra’s shoulder. “There’s really nothing you can do
but get some rest. You’ll be glad you did once you take her home. She’ll
need extra care for a few days, and as she starts feeling better she’ll become
quite a handful.”
After the doctor left they went to Sara’s crib and looked through the clear
tent at her. Her breathing came easily now, and her color was good.
“I won’t feel completely safe until I have her at home and back to
normal. But at least I didn’t have to give her up,” Kendra said.
It was odd phrasing. “What do you mean, give her up?”
“Nothing, it was just…nothing.”
“What?” he persisted. He reached out to touch her hair, then pulled his
hand back.
“In the car, on the way down,” she said, looking up at him. “It was weird.
Remember when I asked if you said anything?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Well, I was trying to pray. And I thought I heard this voice saying, give
her up. I thought it was God! Man, I was terrified. I thought it meant I’d
have to give her up just like Cleo.”
“Maybe it was just stress,” he said uneasily. He was thinking of the other
meanings such a mandate could have. Like give her up to your powerful
rival and his team of lawyers.
“Probably so.” She lifted her shoulders in a delicate shrug and looked at
him. “What are we going to do now?”
He thought. “I need to call my mother. She called while I was throwing
my things together to come down here, and I let slip that Sara was sick. I
told her I’d call when we knew anything.”
 “I didn’t think she cared about Sara, to tell you the truth.”
“Guess she’s getting sentimental in her old age.” He tried to keep his
voice light, but truthfully, he’d been surprised too, and he felt a little
skeptical. His mother was usually so busy with bridge and golf that her
sudden expression of concern struck him as superficial.
Maybe she’d forgotten all about Sara, but he figured he’d better call just
in case.
He’d just finished a surprisingly emotional conversation with her when
two men crowded into the lounge along with the biggest pink stuffed dog
Zeke had ever seen. When he recognized faces he hadn’t seen for at least
ten years, his throat tightened. “How’d you lowlifes find me?”
“We’ve got our ways.” Dressed in his trademark black sleeveless shirt
and muscled like a bodybuilder, Rock Anderson looked incongruous with
the giant, pink dog wedged under one brawny arm.
“How’s the little one?” Daniel Masterson wore a dress shirt and tie,
sleeves rolled up to reveal his Sacred Bond tattoo.
“She’s better. Sleeping now. She’s on an IV, stuck in an oxygen tent, but
she’s gonna be fine. McDermitt called you, didn’t he?”
“Yeah, we gotta take advantage of you being back in the states. Give this
to her, will you?”
“You guys are nuts.” Zeke said it around a lump in his throat. He’d
known Rock and Daniel since high school years, when they’d all been sent
to the Covenant School’s small, last-chance program for juvenile offenders
in Pittsburgh. They stayed in touch some, but he’d been remiss, hadn’t
made the effort he should. And yet they’d come across the country to see
them in his time of need.
“You living up to the bond, my man?” Rock asked, tapping his own
tattoo.
Zeke shook his head. “Not like you guys.”
“You will. This little girl a part of it?”
“Maybe so,” Zeke said thoughtfully. “Maybe so.”
He talked to Daniel and Rock for a while longer, took them to peek in at
Sara, and introduced them to Kendra, whose eyes went a little wide at the
sight of Rock. But after an hour hanging out in the hospital lounge together,
she was confiding in them like they were old friends. No big surprise;
Daniel had always had a lot of charm with women, and Rock’s work with
troubled teens gave him an empathy that shone through, despite his rough
appearance.
The men left to catch their plane back to Pittsburgh, and Kendra stared
after them and then looked at Zeke. “They flew here to see you for two
hours?”
Zeke nodded slowly. “They’re my brothers.” And he had to do some
thinking about getting back to the essence of the Sacred Bond brotherhood.
Using his strength in the service of those who needed it most.
And he had a feeling that had something to do with Sara. And with
Kendra, who stood in the lounge doorway after one last check on the baby.
Behind her, the hall light made her hair a fiery halo.
Zeke stood. “Come on.”
“Where are we going?”
“We’re going to check into one of the hotels down the block,” he said.
“And then we’re going to hear Christine sing.”
 CHAPTER ELEVEN

“Christine Deschamps will be out in just five more minutes, folks!”

The slight anxiety in the emcee’s voice as he pronounced her French-
sounding last name, Day-sham, didn’t begin to match the tension in
Kendra’s heart. Covertly, she looked at Zeke’s profile and wondered if he
was nervous.
He had to be. His girlfriend was about to perform before an audience of
one thousand.
As the auditorium’s lights dimmed, Kendra let her arm slide a little closer
to Zeke’s on the armrest they shared. She knew it was weak of her, but she
wanted to savor his nearness one last time.
And then, she’d let him go. Push him away, if necessary.
Sara was safe and healing, and Kendra was thankful about that, thankful
enough to do the right thing and break away from Zeke. She didn’t know
what would happen at the custody hearing, but she’d decided to put that
burning issue aside for this one night and just focus on Sara’s health.
“And here she is, folks…Christine…Deschamps!”
The internet picture hadn’t done her justice. She was a blonde dynamo in
a royal-blue, floor-length gown, and she strode onto the stage with a wide
smile as the preliminary music swelled. She opened her mouth, and a
powerful, yet intimate voice emerged as she began a soulful gospel song.
Kendra tried to focus on the words, but it was impossible. She stared at
this woman whose beauty and charisma held the entire auditorium in thrall,
and wondered why she’d ever thought she had a chance with a man like
Zeke.
It wasn’t just musical talent; Christine’s spirit shone on her face and
flowed through her voice. As she sang of the Lord, it was obvious that she
felt every word deep in her heart.
Zeke and Christine were a Christian power couple way, way out of
Kendra’s league.
Kendra leaned back a little and looked at Zeke. He watched Christine
with a proud little smile on his face.
 Well, he should be proud. With a voice and a presence like that, she was
bringing countless souls to the Lord.
Kendra joined in the applause after the first song, though she felt more
like crying.
Christine went into a charming patter, praising Denver and the
surrounding mountains, and added that she was a Denver Broncos fan. After
the audience had finished cheering, she thanked the benefactors who
supported her concert tour.
And then, she inadvertently twisted the knife that was splitting Kendra’s
heart in two.
“There’s a very special friend in the audience, one of the major
supporters of this tour and a person dear to my heart. Zeke King, CEO of
King Technologies, could you come up here for just a minute?”
Zeke made a surprised sound in his throat. “Sorry,” he whispered to
Kendra. “I didn’t expect this.” He stood and approached the stage.
Kendra watched him walk away from her and knew without a single
doubt that she loved this man, would always love him, would never love
anyone else.
What Christine said as Zeke stood by her side, Kendra couldn’t have
begun to report. Little phrases broke through the fog of love and pain that
surrounded her: “benefactor of Christian musicians everywhere” and “total
integrity” and “rock in times of trouble.” She presented him with some kind
of a plaque, and he thanked her with a very short speech, a smile, and a kiss
on the cheek. Christine hugged him hard as the audience applauded.
And then, as Zeke left the stage, Christine spoke again. “I have another
announcement,” she said, “one that will come as a surprise to my producers,
and my friends, and just about everyone except the God who’s calling me to
it. I’m going to take a little break from performing, folks. It’s time for me to
explore some other sides of myself.” She grinned ruefully, then added, “Or
as some people might put it, to get a life.”
Kendra watched Zeke freeze halfway up the aisle to their seat. Slowly, he
turned, and looked at Christine.
She smiled at him, that brilliant, beautiful smile.
A few minutes later Kendra found herself in the lobby of the auditorium
and she had no idea how she’d gotten there. She felt like she might faint, or
be sick, and she looked around for a restroom, but then forgot what she was
looking for.
 “Ma’am? Are you looking for the chapel?” A polite, earnest-looking
teenager touched her arm.
Some still-present part of Kendra’s brain remembered that there was a
room in the building designated as a chapel for anyone who felt moved by
the spirit. After the concert, Christian counselors would be there to help
struggling faith-seekers take the next step.
“Ma’am? Are you all right?”
“The chapel…great. Where is it?”
“Right this way. I’ll take you. Do you want me to find one of the
counselors?”
“No. Well, maybe.”
“I’ll get you settled,” the young man said, “and then see who I can find.”
The small room—thankfully empty of people—had comfortable furniture
and an altar set up to one side. Kendra sank down into one of the chairs,
wrapped her arms around her middle, and closed her eyes.
She felt pain, nothing but pain.
How could she have realized her love for Zeke so close to the moment
she knew she’d lost him forever, if she’d ever had him? Because of course,
now Zeke and Christine would get together in a more serious way.
The only apparent obstacle in the way of their relationship was the
constant travel her career demanded. Now, God had called her away from it.
How could He be so cruel?
Yet today, God had saved Sara.
“Hi there.” She felt the couch cushions sink as someone came in and sat
beside her. “How are you doing tonight?” The voice was friendly,
concerned.
“Not too well.” Kendra glanced over at the plump, middle-aged woman
with short brown hair and a serviceable dress. She had a kind face, and at
this point, Kendra didn’t have the strength to put up walls.
“My name’s Julie. Want to talk about it?”
Why not? “I’m Kendra. I just, well, sort of realized that I’m in love with
somebody. But I’m pretty sure he’s in love with someone else.” Stated that
baldly, it sounded silly, like one of the millions of other soap opera
situations that happened every single day. So she added, “We’ve been
taking care of a baby together, and the baby got sick, and now she’s better.
So that’s good.”
 “It sounds like you’ve had a lot going on,” Julie said. “Do you…is there
any hope for you and this guy you’re in love with?”
“I don’t think so.” She paused, breathed, and went on. “I know I can’t try
to get him away from his…girlfriend. She’s great. They belong together.”
“You’re trying to do the right thing, but it’s hard.”
“Yeah.”
They sat for a couple of minutes without saying anything. Kendra was
mildly surprised that she didn’t feel uncomfortable. Miserable, but not
uncomfortable. Maybe when you were this unhappy, the normal social
barriers against spilling your guts to a total stranger came down.
Finally Julie spoke. “Kendra, do you know Jesus can give you a
closeness even richer than any man could ever offer?”
“I…” Kendra broke off. She’d been about to say that she knew all about
Jesus. She’d learned about him all through high school and had been devout
for years. But this was a perspective she didn’t know. “What do you mean?”
“Listen, no man, even the best, can give you all that you need, all the
time.”
“Zeke came pretty close.” Then Kendra clapped her hand over her
mouth. She hadn’t meant to name names, given that Zeke was apparently a
prominent supporter of this concert series.
But Julie didn’t seem to make the association. “It’s great when they come
close, but eventually, all men fall short of our ideals.” She smiled. “Just like
we always fall short of their ideals about women.”
“No kidding.” Kendra leaned her head back against the couch as thoughts
of all the ways she’d failed Zeke flashed through her mind. She’d tried to
vamp him, she’d refused to cooperate about Sara, she’d made him kiss her
when he was trying to play it cool, she’d let another man spend the night at
her cabin… There was precious little he could find to like about her, if he
was in a judging state of mind.
“We all fall short, Kendra,” Julie said. “But Jesus never does. You can
always rely on him to be there for you. Whatever difficulties you have to
face are so much easier to bear if you’ve got the best man in the world by
your side.”
“The best man in the world…”
“That’s right. At least, that’s how I think of him. I’m not a theologian,
just a woman with a lot of flaws, with a husband with a lot of flaws. Our
relationship would be nowhere if we didn’t have Jesus there, forgiving us,
being a model for us.”
“At least you have a husband, someone who’s there for you.” Only after
she’d said it aloud did Kendra realize how deeply she wanted what she’d
always scorned as unnecessary—a mate, a life partner, someone to share her
sorrows and her joys.
When had that happened?
“I didn’t always have a man,” Julie said. “I was alone for a long time. But
then again, I wasn’t alone. Once I realized that, I was so much happier and I
started attracting more good things into my life. But He’s still the best.”
“Yeah. I guess I sort of know that—I’ve been a Christian for years—but I
went through a hard time, and I got mad about it.”
“I blamed God when my son died,” Julie said matter-of-factly, “but it
didn’t help. I still don’t understand it, but I believe there are reasons for our
suffering here on earth. And I believe that, after we die, we’re all reunited in
Christ.”
Kendra hesitated, and then spoke the question that had tormented her
since Cleo’s death. “But what if somebody didn’t believe, and died?”
Julie sighed. “That’s a tough one. I don’t know the theological ins and
outs, but I know He’s a God of love. My son was a teenager, going through
doubts when he died. Does that mean a God of love condemned him to
hell?” She shrugged, her eyes bright. “I just can’t believe it. That’s not the
God I know, who comforts me every day. So I figure there are some things I
just don’t understand—in fact, a lot of things—and I just have to have faith
that God knows what he’s doing.”
It seemed too simple. Then again, simplicity sounded better than the
complex patterns weaving in her head. “Maybe I’ve been trying too hard to
work it out in my mind,” she said doubtfully.
“Could be. I always feel better when I go with my heart. And that’s what
the Bible advises, too.”
Through Kendra’s dark pain and substantial doubt, a little flicker offered
warmth and light. “Thanks.”
“Ask Him to come close to you again,” Julie urged. “Just try it. Ask.”
“Well, I might.”
“I’ll pray for you.” She squeezed Kendra’s hand.
Kendra hugged the woman, who seemed to have transformed before her
eyes from a plain housewife to a wise woman of God.
 And then Julie left. And Kendra went to the altar and sank to her knees.

*****

Zeke didn’t start to worry until Kendra had been gone a half-hour, and
then he didn’t find her for another half hour. All the while he searched, his
mind was racing.
Seeing Christine again had reinforced that fact that the care and
admiration he felt for her was that of a proud friend, a brotherly feeling
worlds removed from the complex intimacy shared with a life partner. But
Kendra didn’t know that. He felt bad that he’d never clarified the platonic
nature of his relationship with Christine. Because, high on the hope
Christine’s music held out, the hope of forgiveness and redemption and joy,
he was starting to see the slightest possibility of working out a relationship
with Kendra.
He had to find her. Finally, he saw her flaming-red hair down a long wide
hallway and hurried to catch her.
“Kendra!” he called once he was in earshot.
She turned and Zeke stopped, staring at her.
There was a glow on her face he’d never seen there before. She looked…
luminous, infused with light. He walked closer and noticed that her eyes
were red, which seemed incongruous, but he was more curious about the
joy that shone from those same eyes.
“Where were you?” he asked.
“In the chapel.” She gestured behind her.
“Oh.” He studied her face. “Are you okay?”
She nodded. “Very okay.”
“What happened? What were you doing?”
Cocking her head to one side, she smiled at him. “I was having a long
overdue conversation.”
“In the chapel?” He still couldn’t get over the light on her face. “Do you
mean?”
“Yeah,” she said. “With Him.”
A joyous wind blew through Zeke’s heart and he swept her into his arms.
“Kendra, that’s the best thing you could have told me. I’ve been hoping and
praying since I met you that you’d find your way back.”
 “Thanks.” Gently, she extricated herself from his arms and took a step
backward.
“I want to talk to you. Now more than ever.” He grabbed her hand and
pulled her toward a pair of chairs in a deserted nook of the hallway.
Tugging at her hand, he got her to sit down beside him.
“What’s up, Zeke?” she asked. Her voice was wary and she pulled her
hand away from his, which seemed a little weird, but he was still excited.
He leaned forward and reached for her, but then stopped himself. For
whatever reason, her body language was telling him loud and clear that she
didn’t want to be touched right now. And maybe that was just as well.
Touching her was extremely distracting. “Kendra,” he said. “What are your
feelings for me?”
“What are my…oh, gosh. Can I take a pass on that?”
“No, seriously. I want to know.”
“Why?”
“Because if you care for me, I think there’s a way all of this can work
out.”
Her eyes closed and she looked away. “Work what out?” she asked.
“The thing with Sara. You. Me. Everything.”
She met his eyes and cocked her head to one side. “Oh, really.”
“Yeah, really.”
“What about her?” she asked, nodding toward the auditorium. The music
swelled in a crescendo, then applause burst out, long and loud. “Zeke, she’s
your girlfriend. All this time we’ve been toying with this…mutual
attraction, she hasn’t been real to me. Now, she is. I don’t want any part of
hurting her.”
“It won’t hurt her.” He shifted on the folding chair and waited while a
couple of ushers walked by. “She’s just a friend, Kendra. We’ve let people
think we were more, but we’re not.”
“Apparently she’s rarin’ to go in new directions.”
“More power to her. But that’s nothing to do with me.”
“Zeeeeke.” She just said his name, drawn out, but in her eyes there was
doubt. Skepticism. Mistrust.
He felt sorry that he’d put it there, dimming some of the light that had
suffused her expression before. “I’ve been using her to protect myself.”
“But how could you not love her?” Kendra’s eyes looked shiny in that
particular way that meant tears were near. But none fell. “She’s got a
beautiful spirit, and she’s beautiful, talented, and successful. She’s doing
important work. She’s obviously a warm, good person. I just…gosh, I’m
jealous as can be of her, but I have to say you’d be a fool to let her go.”
“We’re friends. That’s all.”
Two tiny lines pleated the skin between her eyebrows. “I think you
should talk to her and see if she feels the same way.”
“I’d like to talk to her and congratulate her on a great show,” he said.
“And I’d like for you to come with me.”
“I’m not up for that right now, Zeke. I need a little time to myself.”
He saw that he wasn’t going to convince her, and even through his
frustration he admired what she was trying to do. “All right. Look. It sounds
like the concert is over, so I’ll make a quick phone call and then go see if I
can talk to Christine for a few minutes. And then we can talk. All right?”
Kendra took a deep breath in and let it out in a rush. “It’s been a long day.
I’d like to check on Sara before we go to the hotel. I’ll take a cab and meet
you in the hospital waiting area, okay?”
Where did this quiet confidence, let alone this ability to manage in a city
alone, come from? He marveled, and yet he felt a little annoyed that she
didn’t seem to need him and that he couldn’t seem to sway her.
But she was right: he did need to talk to Christine before they moved
forward, if only to communicate—to her and to himself—that a chapter had
closed. “Okay. I’ll see you at the hospital.”

After he’d left a voice mail message for his lawyers, telling them to halt
their efforts against Kendra in the custody case, Zeke headed backstage.
Because of the way Christine had spotlighted him, he had no trouble getting
in to see her, and miracle of miracles, she was alone in her dressing room.
“Zeke,” she said. Her voice was warm, and she stood and held out her
arms. Clad in a sky-blue gown, she was a beautiful woman and an old, dear
friend, and he went to her with a bear hug.
“I’m so glad you came,” Christine said, sinking down into a swivel chair
by the mirror and waving him toward a nearby stool. “It’s time we caught
up. Tell me everything about your little niece and running your business by
computer.” She looked at him shrewdly. “And about the redhead you came
in with.”
“Yeah, the redhead.” He grinned at her. “You read me like a book, don’t
you?”
 “I should. I’ve known you long enough. So spill it.”
“The redhead,” he said slowly, “is my niece’s aunt, and we’re fighting
over custody.”
She raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t look like you were fighting.”
Zeke propped his elbows on his knees and steepled his fingers. “Yeah,
well. It’s more like I’m fighting my own…interest in her.”
“Why?”
“Well, she’s young.”
Christine shrugged. “You guys look good together. Does her age really
matter?”
“No…I guess not. She’s been through a lot, so she doesn’t seem
immature.”
“Okay, then why are you still fighting yourself over her?”
Zeke frowned. “At first I thought she was a bad person, a carbon copy of
her sister, who hurt Garrett so much.”
“Or of your mother? Zeke, you have to stop painting all women the same
bad color.” Christine was removing her stage makeup now, but in the
mirror, her eyes were sharp on his.
“Do I do that?”
“Yes, you do. Did. Anyway—you found out she’d not so bad?”
“She’s actually…great. And I’m wondering…” He trailed off.
Christine wiped cold cream from her face and spun in her chair to face
him. “Let me guess. You’re wondering if it’s time to reconsider your single-
minded focus on work, and start to build a real home”
“How’d you know?”
“Because we’ve always had parallel lives, and that’s what’s happening to
me.” She waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. “But I don’t want to talk
about me. Let’s talk about you and why you’re fighting this relationship.”
“You know why.”
“Zeke, I know you’ve always feared your own appetites.” She grinned
ruefully. “That’s why I’ve been such a safe friend for you, because you
weren’t attracted to me that way.”
“Christine—” He couldn’t argue, but he didn’t want her to be hurt about
it.
“Don’t worry—it’s mutual. Anyway, I know you’ve always been afraid
you’d end up like your parents if you let go. But you’re thirty-five, and as
far as I can tell, you’ve always led a pretty moral life.”
 “On the outside,” he said, staring at the tile floor. “You should see all the
dirt inside.”
“Oh, Zeke.” She leaned forward and took his hands in hers. “We’ve all
got that stuff. It’s part of being human.” She gripped his hands tighter and
shook them a little. “It’s what the Cross cleans away. It’s why we need Him
so much. You know that on an intellectual level, I know you do. I just wish
you could feel it in your heart.”
A loud knock sounded at her door. “You decent, Chrissy?” boomed a
deep voice. “Can I come in?”
“Just a sec, Logan,” she called back.
“Logan?” Now it was his turn to raise his eyebrows.
Christine blushed. “He’s my bodyguard. We had some threats and…”
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” What kind of a friend was he?
“I didn’t want to worry you when your life was so crazy. And Logan
takes good care of me.” She bent to fluff her hair as she passed her mirror,
then opened the door.
A tattooed, black-clad, twenty-something hulk loomed in her doorway,
eyes scanning the room. When he saw Zeke sitting there, he took a step
forward, effectively blocking Christine from view. “What’s he doing here?”
he asked her without taking his eyes off Zeke.
“He’s visiting me. It’s fine. He’s an old friend.”
“He staying long?”
“Logan…I don’t know, okay?” Christine said in a tone that clearly
implied, and it’s none of your business.
“I’ll be right outside.”
“You don’t have to—”
“I’ll be outside.” The hulk obviously wanted Zeke to know that. No
funny stuff on his watch, he seemed to say.
After he’d left, Christine went to her makeup table and fussed around
with bottles for a few minutes. “He drives me crazy sometimes,” she said
finally, meeting Zeke’s eyes in the mirror.
“Is he always that protective?”
“Yeah. He says he’s just doing his job. But I don’t know…” Her voice
trailed off, and she pushed her hair back restlessly. “I don’t know what to
think.”
Zeke smiled. “I have a funny feeling our lives are parallel in more ways
than one.”
 “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” he said, “that we’re both about through with using each other
as an excuse not to get involved.”
“I don’t have anybody I want to get involved with!” she said quickly.
“Okay, okay.” He lifted his hands, palms up. “I just thought Logan, there,
seemed a little miffed that you had a man in your dressing room.” He
tucked away for further thought the fact that Logan looked at least six or
seven years younger than Christine.
Maybe age really didn’t matter.
“Logan is pushy.” Christine stared at the door of her dressing room,
looking troubled.
“Maybe he’s just trying to take care of you.”
Christine blushed. “We’re not involved.”
“I bet it’s not for lack of trying on his part.”
“He’s respectful.” She met Zeke’s eyes. “But pushy.”
“Let’s stay in touch, Christine. I want to know how it turns out for you.”
“Let’s.” She stood up, and he did too. “And Zeke, tell her I said she’s a
lucky woman.”
 CHAPTER TWELVE

The pediatrics unit was uncannily quiet. Zeke was so focused on getting
to Kendra, on explaining Christine and his own changes and how he felt,
that at first he didn’t realize who sat beside her in the small lounge area.
“Mom?” he asked in disbelief. “What are you doing here?” The mix of
emotions he always felt around his mother surged through his gut—anger,
and confusion, and love.
“Hello, dear.” His mother stood and presented her heavily powdered
cheek for his kiss. She touched his shoulder lightly, hesitantly, and then
stood, twisting her hands. “I…I know you’re surprised to see me, but after I
spoke with you I just couldn’t think about anything else so I got on a plane
and came.”
“How’s Sara?” he asked, because he wanted to know, but also to hide his
mixed-up feelings.
“She’s fine,” Kendra said. “The nurse said she drank a little from her
bottle, so that means she’s less congested than she was. Everything looks
good.” She looked from him to his mother. “Do you two want a chance to
talk? I could leave you alone, or go get your mother a room at our hotel, or
something.”
“No, it’s okay.” Zeke didn’t want to lose Kendra’s buffering presence.
“I’ve got a room at the Brown Palace downtown,” his mother said. “I
despise those cheap little hotels.”
Kendra raised her eyebrows but didn’t say anything. Zeke relaxed a little,
perversely comforted by his mother’s snobbishness. At least that was a part
of her that he recognized.
“Sit down, Mom. And tell me why you came.” Zeke couldn’t understand
it. “I told you on the phone, Sara’s going to be fine.”
His mother was blinking rapidly and twisting her ring-clad hands. Zeke
was shocked at how wrinkled her hands were. Like an old woman.
“Is something else wrong?” he asked, unwanted tenderness filling his
heart.
“She wanted to see her granddaughter,” Kendra said. “And I think she’s
going to see her more often, whatever happens with the custody. At least,”
Kendra said, frowning, “if you or I get custody. I don’t know what would
happen if Sara goes to Jimmy.”
His mother straightened, frowning. “I don’t know what your brother was
thinking. It must have been that…Cleo…who suggested this stranger as
custodian for our grandchild.”
Kendra’s lips tightened, and Zeke reached behind his mother to lightly
squeeze Kendra’s shoulder. To his utter shock, his mother nestled back
against his arm as if he’d meant to put a comforting arm around her—and
as if she craved his affection. She gave Zeke the first genuine smile he’d
seen from her. “A good childhood is so important. That’s why I’m worried
about this custody battle. It doesn’t seem—”
“You’re worried about Sara having a good childhood?” He couldn’t hide
his surprise.
“Oh, Ezekiel, will you never forgive your father and I?” His mother
leaned forward and rested her forehead on her hands. Zeke watched her
shoulders shake, and slowly it dawned on him that she was crying. “I know
we didn’t do things right,” she choked out.
Kendra put an arm around her shaking shoulders. Zeke almost moved to
stop her, aware that his mother had never been a toucher. But when she
didn’t flinch away, he stopped himself.
Maybe she was changing.
Hesitantly, he patted his mother’s shoulder. Even that much physical
affection felt awkward.
“Mama. I’m sorry.”
“We were terrible parents,” she said, voice quivering, tears flowing down
wrinkled cheeks. “We were terrible parents and it cost us one son, but does
it have to cost us both? And our granddaughter too?” She let her face fall
back into her hands.
Kendra’s eyes looked about to spill over, too, and she squeezed his
mother’s shoulders lightly. “You must have done something right,” she said,
“because Zeke turned out so well.” She met his eyes and smiled.
His own returning smile felt twisted. He didn’t feel he’d turned out well;
for one thing, here was his mother falling apart, and he didn’t know her well
enough to be able to comfort her. Not only that, but he had to fight the cold,
judgmental part of him that thought her present pain served her right.
But fight it he did. He sought something honest, but comforting to say.
“Dad was worse than you were,” he came up with, finally, because he
remembered a time when his mother had tried to be there for him.
Slowly his mother shook her head. “We were both wrong. He started the
infidelities, but I was the cold one. The fault was equal.” She took the tissue
Kendra offered her, wiped her eyes, and looked at Zeke. “We sent you away
when we should have drawn you close. But I think, maybe, it was the
making of you.”
“It was,” Zeke admitted, touching his tattoo like the talisman it had
become to him.
“Your father and I have forgiven each other. I hope, one day, you can
forgive us too.” She drew in a shaky breath. “I’m an old woman, and I don’t
want to end up alone.”
He put his arm around her shoulders then and hugged her, still feeling
awkward. “Sure, Mama, okay. I…don’t have room to judge, anyway.”
“Oh, Ezekiel. You were always such a perfect, upright child. That made it
all the more obvious, our failings.”
“Zeke knows he has his faults,” Kendra said, the corner of her mouth
quirking up in a smile. “One or two of them, anyway.”
He looked at her and thought of his inability to restrain his feelings
around her. He had been berating himself for it.
But his mother was taking equal blame in his parents’ problems, for
being too controlled, for being cold. And he had to admit he liked her better
for losing control, for showing her true feelings.
He was equal parts his father’s son and his mother’s. He had his father’s
excessive passion, and he had his mother’s rigid judgment. And the only
thing that could balance them out and make something positive out of this
bundle of imperfections was God.
And God was love and forgiveness. He prayed a wordless prayer for a
loan of some of that good feeling for his mother.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” he said. “I…I’m glad you came today. I hope you’ll
be a part of Sara’s life.” Opening his heart to her, even a little bit, felt like
taking tight bands off it, like he could breathe more freely.
She wiped her eyes, straightened, and looked at him. “Thank you,
Ezekiel. I know that’s hard for you to say. But now, I have something else to
ask of you.”
“What?”
“Come home with me and see your father.”
 Zeke opened his mouth, inhaled, and then let his breath out without
speaking. He wanted to refuse. He didn’t want to see the man who’d
destroyed his and Garrett’s childhood.
Suddenly he realized that the crises and emergencies that had prevented
him from attending Garrett’s wedding, and his funeral, wouldn’t have
prevented it had he really wanted to go. He had been avoiding his parents
for years because of the hostility in his heart.
“He’s not well, son. In fact, the nursing home staff thinks he could go any
day now.” She reached for his hand. “He has so many regrets. If he could
see you, talk to you, it might turn him around. Or,” she hesitated, “it might
ease his passing.”
Zeke swallowed the emotions that tightened his throat. “I…maybe after
the preliminary custody hearing. It’s next week.”
“But we don’t have to be there,” Kendra said. “The preliminary hearing
is just for the lawyers and counselors. We’ve got another three weeks until
the final hearing.”
“Okay, but what about Sara? She’s going to need a lot of care.”
Kendra smiled at him. “I can handle Sara. Your parents need you.”
That was Kendra—generous, hardworking, and sympathetic, even to
people that had never been sympathetic to her or her family.
He didn’t want to go. He wanted to stay here and figure out his future
with Kendra. But, he realized, he’d have a better chance to build a decent
future if he could put to rest the demons of his past.
“All right,” he said reluctantly. “I’ll go.”

*****

The day of the final custody hearing, three weeks later, dawned clear and
cold, and nowhere seemed colder to Kendra than the witness stand where
she stood, alone, being cross-examined by Zeke’s meanest lawyer.
The preliminary hearing hadn’t resolved the conflict as Kendra had
hoped, and the result was a courtroom scene that was turning into a
nightmare. What made it even more frustrating was that Zeke himself was
nowhere to be seen, even though he was supposed to be back from visiting
his parents in Arizona for the trial. Aside from a phone call to tell her that
his father had rallied, she’d heard nothing from him.
 “So what you’re telling us, Ms. Forrester, is that you’d never taken the
child to a real pediatrician before her recent illness?”
“I took her to a clinic,” Kendra explained for the third time, trying not to
get upset. “There are real doctors there.”
“And yet you didn’t elect to take her to the clinic at the start of her recent
illness.”
“I got her treatment as soon as I knew she was sick.” Kendra looked
around the courtroom and wondered where Zeke was. Had he known his
lawyers were going to be this cold—that they would act like she was lying?
Had he put them up to it?
But as she thought of the man she had come to know, to respect, and, yes,
to love, she couldn’t believe it of him.
“Is it possible,” the lawyer continued, “that you didn’t notice her
increasing difficulties with breathing because of your overnight company?”
“Hey, now wait a minute!” Jimmy jumped up. “If you’re sayin’ that
Kendra and I—”
“Please wait your turn,” the judge said severely.
Jimmy’s lawyer, a sad looking man in a frumpy tweed coat, pulled at his
arm, and slowly, Jimmy sat down.
Kendra sat, stunned. How could the lawyers have known that, unless
Zeke had told them?
The back doors opened and Zeke, at last, walked in.
“Could you answer the question, please?” The lawyer’s voice was falsely
patient.
“I’m sorry,” Kendra said. “What was the question?”
“I asked whether you might have failed to notice the baby’s increasing
difficulties due to entertaining Mr. Smith overnight.”
Like an avenging angel, Zeke strode down to the front of the courtroom.
“Cut it out. Now.”
The judge cleared her throat. “I was hoping all of you explained
courtroom etiquette to your clients. Mr. King, sit down and be quiet.”
“With all due respect, Your Honor, I’d like for my lawyers to stop
harassing Ms. Forrester immediately.”
“I believe they’re trying to win a case for you.”
“Not that way.”
The lawyer looked exasperated. “I’d like to request a recess, please,” he
said.
 “So long as you take the opportunity to explain the rules of speaking to
your client, it’s granted.”
Kendra walked out of the courtroom with her arms wrapped around her
middle, feeling dazed. She couldn’t believe the lawyers had managed to
make her look like a bad mother, how they’d twisted everything against her.
The more painful question was, where had they gotten the details of her
life to twist? The answer seemed obvious—from Zeke. Yet she didn’t want
to believe it.
He was in heated conversation with his lawyers in one of the windowed
conference rooms, and when she walked by his eyes met hers and he
stopped talking. But she continued on, unsure of how to react to him.
Back in the courtroom she wasn’t called to the stand again, but Jimmy
was, and the badgering began. Kendra listened, fascinated in a sick way by
how the lawyers were able to turn everything, from his sick mother to the
women he’d dated in the past to his job history, into instability so severe
that no reasonable person would consider awarding him custody.
“Now, isn’t it likely that you’d continue your same dating pattern,” the
lawyer concluded, “leaving Sara for your ailing mother to babysit?”
“I wouldn’t do that,” Jimmy said. “Not with my own daughter!”
“You mean your adopted daughter.”
“No, you slimeball,” Jimmy snarled, “with my own daughter.”
The courtroom went dead silent.
The lawyer paused. “Just to make sure we’re all perfectly clear,” he said
slowly, “are you implying that you are the biological father of Sara King?”
“That’s right.”
“You had relations with the mother nine months prior to her birth?”
“Yes. I did.”
Kendra gasped and stared at Jimmy as a whole array of clues she hadn’t
wanted to understand came together into a coherent pattern.
Jimmy’s closeness to Cleo.
Jimmy’s desire to help with Sara.
Cleo’s selection of Jimmy as a possible guardian for Sara.
Even Jimmy’s recent romantic interest in Kendra herself, which had to be
related to his grief about losing Cleo, rather than any real feelings about her.
Zeke’s lawyers were whispering madly. Zeke was studying Jimmy with
an unreadable expression on his face.
 If true, this meant that Zeke wasn’t a blood relation to Sara, and what did
that mean for his efforts to gain custody? For his desire to gain custody?
Like sand slipping through her fingers, she saw Sara slipping away from her
and to Jimmy, and tears pricked the backs of her eyes.
The judge called for order. “Mr. Smith,” she said in a severe voice, “if
you believe yourself to be this child’s father, why didn’t you include that
information in the pleadings filed before this trial?”
Jimmy shrugged. “I didn’t want it to all come out if it didn’t have to,” he
said.
“We’ll take an hour recess. Council, I’ll see you in chambers
immediately.”

Two hours later, having discussed the situation with his lawyers, Zeke
emerged from the conference room to find Kendra sitting on a bench in the
courthouse hall. She had her arms wrapped around her stomach and was
staring straight ahead in a blank way.
He sat down beside her. “How are you doing?” he asked.
She shook her head.
“Kendra, I’m sorry about all this.”
She shrugged. “Not your fault Cleo and Jimmy were…involved.”
“I know,” he said, “but it is my fault my lawyers were so harsh with you.
I tried to get word to them to stop gathering information against you, but
apparently they didn’t get the message. They interviewed Jimmy’s mother
and found out he’d spent the night at your place.”
She felt the tiniest little lift inside. She’d been right. Zeke hadn’t told
them that.
“I want you to know I didn’t intend any information I gave them would
be used in that harsh way, and I’m sorry I didn’t think it through enough to
realize what could happen. Anyway, they have instructions not to fight your
custody anymore.”
“Why should they? You’re not the uncle. Your role is gone.”
That statement made his heart lurch. But when he started to speak,
Kendra held up a hand.
“It’ll be good for you and Christine. You can get on with falling in love,
and leave us hillbillies to our crazy, soap opera lives.”
“I don’t want to get on with life with Christine. Never have.”
She studied him skeptically and then looked away.
 “I wish I’d been here these last weeks to clear this up. I mean, it was
good to be with my parents—”
“They’re okay?”
He nodded, not surprised that in the midst of her own trouble, she was
thinking of others. “Dad’s rallied, and we talked a lot.”
“I’m glad.”
“I’ll tell you about it sometime. But Kendra, Christine and I were never
romantic partners. We just escorted each other to public events. And that’s
over now, because she has a new love interest, and…” He trailed off. He’d
been about to say “I do too,” but he was getting ahead of himself.
“I still want to be a part of Sara’s life,” he said instead. “What’s more, I
don’t entirely believe that Jimmy is the father. I’ll need some tests to be
convinced of that.”
Kendra didn’t speak, just started at the dirty, ancient-looking tile floor.
“My lawyers will be at your disposal,” he said.
“It’s too late.”
There was no time to convince her otherwise, because they were called
back into the courtroom. “This is highly unorthodox,” the judge said as
soon as everyone was settled, “but in view of what has come out in this
trial, I’m ordering a DNA test. I’ll also take into account what we’ve heard
today, and you’ll get a ruling in a few weeks. Does anyone have anything
else to add?”
Zeke stood. “I’d like to say something.”
She nodded.
“Whether or not I’m a biological uncle to Sara, I still care for her as
much as ever and would like to be involved in her upbringing.” He
hesitated, then plunged on. “I’m sorry for the smear campaign conducted by
my legal team against Kendra Forrester. It was a failure in communication
that the message to stop it didn’t get through. In my view, she’s done an
excellent job caring for this baby and would continue to do so.”
The judge made a quick note. His lawyers looked furious.
“As for custody,” he continued, “my preference would still be to share it
with Kendra. I believe we can work out a plan that will be beneficial to
Sara. I’m willing for him—” he nodded toward Jimmy “—to have full
visitation rights, if he proves to be the father and wants them. But if you
think I don’t have rights to the child anymore if I’m not her biological
uncle, then I would respectfully request that you honor the parent’s wishes
at least in part, and grant sole custody to Kendra Forrester.”
Kendra stared at him, her eyes enormous.
“In other words,” he added so that it would all be perfectly clear, “I’m
willing to relinquish my claim to the child, provided that the court will give
serious consideration to awarding custody to Kendra Forrester.”
“We would have done that anyway, Mr. King,” the judge said dryly, “but
thank you for the suggestion.”

As soon as Kendra emerged from the courtroom, Zeke broke off

conversation with his lawyers and approached her. “Can we talk?” Although
his words questioned rather than commanded, his intense eyes seemed to
burn her heart.
“I can’t talk right now,” she said, wary, trying to protect herself from
more pain. “I have to go pick up Sara.” Those words hurt, because she was
afraid she wouldn’t be able to say them much longer. Afraid she wouldn’t
have the right to pick up Sara much longer.
Zeke seemed to read her thoughts. He reached out to squeeze her
shoulder, a light, brief touch of reassurance. “Let me walk you over to the
babysitter’s.”
“All right.” God forgive her, she wanted his comfort while she could
have it, which surely wouldn’t be long, given how unlikely it was that he
was Sara’s biological uncle.
Jimmy had spoken to his lawyer, cursed, and stormed out of the
courtroom, angry over something she couldn’t begin to understand. What
did he have to be angry about? He was likely to get custody of Sara,
provided the DNA test proved that she was his daughter; a biological parent
always took precedence over a mere aunt.
She also felt an ache in her heart over the sad reality of Cleo’s
promiscuity. How her sister must have suffered, for Kendra knew she hadn’t
been raised to do what she’d done. If she’d been intimate with both Jimmy
and Garrett, only some great inner pain could have driven her to it, and she
had surely paid the consequences of guilt and shame. Not only that, but if
she’d truly borne a child of uncertain paternity, she must have suffered
every day of her pregnancy and of her baby’s life. Kendra ached that she
hadn’t known about it, and hadn’t been able to help Cleo find a better way.
 “Ready?” Zeke held out his arm to her, and she realized she’d been
standing there lost in her own painful thoughts. Gratefully, she took his arm
and they headed down a tree-lined street to the friend’s house where Sara
was staying.
As they walked, he cleared his throat a couple of times, and when she
looked at him curiously, she saw that his eyes were troubled. Was he trying
to figure out how to say goodbye?
“Go ahead and say it, Zeke,” she said finally.
“You’re right. Of course. I just…Kendra, I want to apologize again for
what the lawyers did in there. It was inexcusable, and I should have known
that when they were questioning me about my activities, they were also
building a case against you. That’s just how they are. They feel that their
job is to win at any price.”
“I figured that out.” She sighed. “Don’t worry about it, Zeke. They
stopped when you told them to. And after Jimmy’s little news flash, it
doesn’t seem to make that much difference.”
“Like I told you, I don’t entirely believe Jimmy. If he were sure he was
the father, he would have used that as evidence right away, not waited until
the lawyers goaded him into revealing it. And did you notice how angry he
was when he left?”
Zeke’s words lit a tiny candle of hope in Kendra’s heart. She tried to
snuff it. “Yeah, but it all fits. Why he wanted to spend time with Sara. Why
he wanted to spend time with me, for that matter. He must have been trying
to recreate that relationship with her.”
“If that’s true, how much does it upset you?” Zeke’s words sounded
casual. Too casual. She looked up to find him watching her closely.
She thought about it. “Not that much, I guess.” She tightened her grip on
Zeke’s arm. “Cleo was so lovable. Anyone would have fallen for her, and
Jimmy had known and cared for her all her life. I know what they did was
terribly wrong, but I don’t want you to hate her for it. And I don’t blame
Jimmy for trying to find a way to get her back.”
He shook his head with a touch of impatience. “What I meant was,” he
said, “are you hurt, because you care for him, and you’re afraid he doesn’t
return the feeling?”
“No!” She spoke too quickly and had to amend her words. “I mean, I
care for Jimmy like a brother, even though he’s been a jerk lately, but I
never was in love with him. My ego might be a little hurt to think he was
looking at me and dreaming of Cleo, but hey, that’s life. I can take it.”
“Well, that’s good.” He seemed to pull her a little closer, and their steps
slowed. Leaning on his strength felt wonderful. “We’ll just have to wait to
see what the DNA test tells us, and go from there.”
That reminded her of what she wanted to be sure and say to him before
he left their lives. “Zeke, thank you for what you said in the courtroom
today. I appreciate your telling the judge you thought I’d be…” Her throat
closed up suddenly, and she had to take a couple of breaths. “That I’d be a
good mother to Sara. Your opinion means a lot to me.”
“Aw, Kendra, it’s the simple truth,” he said. “You’re the best with her.
You’re what any baby would want. You’re what any man would want, as
the mother of his child.”
That made her smile past the choking feeling in her throat. “That’s about
the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
“It’s true. In fact—” He broke off and tugged her toward a bus stop
bench. “Sit down here a minute. There’s something I need to say to you
without anyone else around.”
This is it, Kendra thought as a sudden wave of misery washed over her.
This is goodbye. She sank down onto the bench, feeling a hundred years
old, as if her legs couldn’t support her any more.
“Do you know why I was late today?” he asked.
“What? No.”
“I was shopping.”
“Shopping?” She echoed his words with confusion. He’d been late
because he was shopping? That didn’t sound like Zeke, especially when
there was such serious business going on in the courtroom.
“Yeah, shopping. Do you know how hard it is to find the perfect
diamond?”
“D-d-diamond?”
“Uh-huh.” He took her hand.
Kendra stared at their joined hands, not daring to look up into his eyes.
The mention of a diamond brought images of bridal gowns and candles and
a church decorated with white flowers…images she’d never dared to claim
for herself, because she didn’t trust either man or God to gift her with her
highest dreams.
 Now that she knew Zeke, both her hopes and her fears had increased past
measure. Now it wasn’t just the image of a beautiful wedding, but the
image of life lived with a true hero, a man she could respect and admire and
adore for all her days. A man of total integrity and spiritual depth, a man
who faced up to his struggles and flaws and tried to make things right for
those he loved.
She couldn’t speak. She didn’t dare reveal to him what his words had
evoked, because he was so good and so kind that if he didn’t mean what she
thought he might mean, he would be torn with guilt. So she just stared at
that capable, manly hand clasping hers.
“Kendra.” He cleared his throat. “I know how much you’ve been through
today, and with me. I may not have the greatest timing in the world, but…I
want you to know that I love you.”
She breathed for what felt like the first time in five minutes, and dared to
glance up at him. “Yeah?” she whispered.
Tucking a strand of hair under her cap, he nodded. “Yeah. And I want to
show you in a tangible way, to have you factor that into whatever plans and
decisions you’re making, so…I bought you this.” He reached into his
pocket and pulled out a tiny box.
She took it and looked at him and her eyes filled with tears. “Zeke, I can
hardly believe it, but are you…” She swallowed. “Are you asking me to,
you know, um, to marry you?” Her heart pounded like a fast drum. “Or is
this maybe just a gift, like, to say thanks for letting you stay at the cabin, or
whatever?”
He chuckled. Then, without letting go of her hand, he slid off the bench
and onto his knees in the snow. “Does this help? Kendra, will you marry
me?”
Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord, Lord. Kendra stared at him as utter joy washed over
her, threatened to engulf her. She grabbed at the old self she felt drifting
away. “But, what about Sara? What if she’s… Why would you want…”
The love in his eyes, the tears in them, gave her the courage to open her
hands, to say goodbye to the fearful, doubtful, guarded person she’d been.
Without regret, she felt that weight lift off of her heart.
“Kendra,” he said, and his voice was husky. “I hope and pray, so much,
that we get to raise Sara. I love her like my own child, and I want to take
care of her almost more than anything else in the world. But the one thing I
want even more is the chance to share the rest of my life with you. It took
Sara—and Garrett and Cleo—to pull me out of my materialistic lifestyle
and bring me to you, and no matter what happens, I’ll always be grateful.”
“You don’t hate Cleo for what she did.”
“How could I hate someone you love?” he asked simply. “And who am I
to judge? It was through Cleo that I’ve gotten to know what it’s like to have
a real home. I realize now that that’s what I want more than anything else in
the world. A home. With you.”
“I want that too,” Kendra said, her newly light heart expanding inside
her. She glanced down at the box in her hand, but didn’t open it. Instead,
she reached for him and touched his face with wonder. “I love you too,
Zeke King. I would be thrilled to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“A yes without even looking at the ring?” he asked.
“Yes, yes, yes!” And she tumbled into his arms in the snow with a joyous
laugh of love.
 EPILOGUE

“You got six more orders, hon.” Zeke turned from his computer and
raised his voice slightly to communicate this exciting information to
Kendra, who was bending over a worktable at the other end of the loft.
“Great…I think.” She looked up at him and smiled, and he couldn’t resist
walking over. That was the only danger of their new home with its joint
work space. Sometimes they distracted each other.
Marriage had fulfilled every one of Zeke’s dreams. The home they were
making together was full of warmth and love. Outside their huge picture
window, the start of autumn turned the aspens to gold, and Zeke anticipated
a cozy mountain winter with his new family.
Sara’s chortling carried up the stairs, and Kendra smiled. “I guess it’s a
good thing the nanny’s here all afternoon now,” she said. “I don’t know
how I’d fill all those orders otherwise. Making that fabulous website and
doing the blog tour were great ideas, but I just hope I can keep up.”
“We’ll hire you some help for manual labor and you can just design.”
Zeke stood behind Kendra and studied the fabric samples she’d been
pinning into gorgeous sunburst and flower shapes. “You’re so good at this
stuff, it’s no wonder everyone wants to buy it. I’m probably going to spend
half my time managing the business side.”
She leaned back into him, and he put his arms around her. “Don’t get so
busy with my stuff that you forget about your writing,” she said.
“Remember, your deadline is March first. You’ve got a busy winter ahead
of you too.”
He did, but he looked forward to the work. His writing on business ethics
was taking off, and between his blog and guest columns on national news
sites and the book itself, he was finally making an impact. Finally using his
strengths in the service of those who needed it, though in a different form
than he’d ever expected.
His Sacred Bond brothers were proud, and he felt good about being back
on track.
The sound of a jeep engine pierced the mountain quiet. They turned
toward the window in time to see the mailman wave as he filled the box at
the bottom of their driveway, leaning a tall package against the mailbox
post. Zeke had quickly learned the excitement of mail delivery for people
who worked at home.
“Ooh, let’s go get it!” Kendra said. “I’m hoping that’s Sara’s new
bookcase. And if it is, you have to help me put it together.”
Zeke was hoping for something else, and he was pretty sure it would
arrive today. They walked to the mailbox and engaged in a mock-battle over
who would open it first. Kendra won, and Zeke chased her up the driveway,
the large box, which indeed contained the parts of a bookcase, over his
shoulder. Laughing, they sank down on their rough-hewn porch swing with
the stack of envelopes.
“Yes!” Zeke crowed as he ripped open an envelope. “Lady, I have a
surprise for you.”
Kendra snuggled closer. “Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah.” He spread the glossy travel brochure in front of her. “How does
Easter in the Keys sound?”
Kendra frowned. “I’m not sure.”
“Why not?” He was surprised. “I know Sara was too young for us to
leave her this summer, but a honeymoon with a baby doesn’t really count.
By next Easter, she’ll be big enough to stay with my mother for a week or
two.”
“Sara would be too much for your mom.”
“She could come here so there’d be someone to help during the day. And
Louise could stop over some evenings, and maybe even Jimmy.” He was
surprised to find he meant it. It was amazing where forgiving his parents,
and forgiving himself, could lead.
“He has been a lot more responsible and less bitter lately since he started
seeing that therapist.”
“Yes. And I’m glad he still wants to see her despite the test results.
Surprised, but glad.”
“Uh-huh…” she said doubtfully.
“And by then, we can slow down your orders for the quilts, so you’ll be
able to take a break. I’ll be done with my book. We’ll need a vacation, and
it’ll be perfect timing.”
“Zeke—”
“Look, if you really want to take Sara, we can. I know you don’t like to
be away from her. I don’t either. In fact, maybe it would be more fun to—”
 “Zeke.” She touched his lips with one finger and he fell silent, looking at
the serious expression on her face. “I don’t want to go at Easter. We could
talk about midwinter, maybe, but by next spring I won’t be able to…” She
trailed off and looked at him, a slow smile crossing her face.
He didn’t get it. “Won’t be able to what?”
“To fly. They usually don’t let nine-month’s pregnant ladies fly.”
“Nine month’s…you’re pregnant?” He couldn’t move. He couldn’t think.
He could only feel great waves of emotion surging through his whole body,
overwhelming him with more joy than he had any right to expect. “Are you
sure? How far along? When will we… Easter, you think?”
She laughed. “Yes, I’m sure, since yesterday. I’m just about two months,
so it’s still early. And yeah, the doctor thinks right around Easter.”
“Wow.” He couldn’t take his eyes off her.
She nodded. “Does it make you happy? Even if we can’t go on a
honeymoon next spring?”
He gathered her in his arms, carefully, conscious of the tiny spark of life
inside of her. “I thought I was as happy as I could ever be, but this makes
me happier.”
Sara toddled out onto the porch, saw them cuddling, and ran over to
climb up into their laps. Zeke scooped her up and she wiggled until she was
exactly half on one lap and half on the other. “Sara,” Zeke said quietly. “Do
you think you’d like a baby sister?”
“Sis-ter.” She tried the new word out for size. “Sara’s sister?”
“Or brother,” Kendra said. “We don’t know which.”
Zeke closed his eyes. Thank you, Lord, he prayed. “Either way,” he said
out loud, arms around both of them, “I’m the most blessed man on the
mountain.”
 Want to see how the Sacred Bond Brotherhood got started? Check out
the prequel novella, A Christmas Bond.

In the mood for something edgier? Follow Rock’s complicated path

toward romance in The Bride’s Broken Bond.

Troubled Daniel’s story follows in Her Reunion Bond, and Boone heads
back to small-town Florida in A Doctor’s Bond.

Find out more about upcoming releases and sign up for Lee’s newsletter
at www.leetobinmcclain.com.

Did you enjoy His Baby Bond? The best way to help other readers find
out about Lee’s novels is by leaving a review. It doesn’t have to be long,
just honest! Thank you!
 ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Lee Tobin McClain read Gone with the Wind in the third grade and has been
a hopeless romantic ever since. When she’s not writing angst-filled love
stories with happy endings, she’s getting inspiration from her church singles
group, her gymnastics-obsessed teenage daughter, and her rescue dog and
cat. In her day job, Lee gets to encourage aspiring romance writers in Seton
Hill University’s low-residency MFA program. Sign up for helpful tips and
freebies via her mailing list at http://www.LeeTobinMcClain.com