How to Write a Personal Statement (Tips + Essay

Examples)
[Link]/blog/personal-statement

April 2, 2021

A few hundred words to capture who you’ve become over the course of almost two
decades?

Yup, makes sense why lots of students find the idea of writing a personal statement
intimidating. Framed like the above, it could almost sound, I don’t know, unreasonable.

Whether you’re using the Common Application, the Coalition Application, or a school-
specific application portal, it can be scary to try to come up with an essay topic that
encompasses the complexity and vastness of who you are as a person … while also
staying in the word count.

But this can also be a fun, meaningful experience (real talk: We wouldn’t be doing this if
we didn’t think it was true). In fact, the process of brainstorming and writing about
meaningful aspects of your life can be an incredible way to practice self-reflection and
think more deeply about who you are, what you value, who you hope to be in the world,
and what you actually want to get out of college.

So to help you move past the intimidating aspects and focus more on the fun and
meaning, in this post, we’ll describe what differentiates the personal statement from
other college essays and what function it serves in your college application. We’ll also
share what qualities can help a personal statement stand out, how to find a stronger
topic, how to set yourself up for an easier writing process, and even share some essay
examples we loved.

Let’s go.

What is a personal statement? That just means “essay” … right?

A personal statement is an essay in which you demonstrate aspects of who you are by
sharing some of the qualities, skills, and values you’ll bring to college. A written personal
statement is typically used by college admission offices, but it’s also often used by
scholarship selection committees or specific academic departments to help assess
potential candidates.

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To understand what the personal statement is, it’s helpful to imagine your entire college
application as a human body. The personal statement is the metaphorical “heart”—it
captures the essence of who you are as a person and what motivates you, both
academically and personally.

Let’s briefly clarify what it isn’t. It’s not a classic five-paragraph essay you write for
English class (thesis, body, restate thesis in almost the same words, but hopefully not
repetitively, done).

Here are some other ways a personal statement is different from an English class essay:

There’s no “right” essay topic to write about, as you’ll see from the range of essay topics
in this post. Students have written successfully on topics ranging from: I Shot My
Brother, to Home, to Being Pooped on by Animals. Oh, and btw, we’d recommend not
reading too many sample essays before you’ve done some brainstorming of your own
first. But whatever topic you land on, keep this in mind:

The goal of your personal statement is to find a topic that demonstrates the skills,
qualities, values, and interests you’ll bring with you to a college campus.

In fact, though we’ll keep saying “topic” of your essay because it’s clear and easy, the
topic of your essay is ultimately always you. Just as the heart drives the actions of the
rest of the body, the personal statement provides context for the rest—and, in some
ways, is the heart—of your application. The other supplemental essays, if required by
colleges, are opportunities to go into more detail about aspects of your interests,
passions, and identity not covered in your personal statement.

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The personal statement is a great place to discuss critical events or experiences in your
life that catalyzed you to become the person you are now, or various aspects of your
identity that strongly influence the way you interact with the world around you. It’s also
an opportunity to introduce readers to your most important interests and values. For
more on that, and exercises to help clarify those things, check those links (we’ll also
offer more on them later).

What makes a great personal statement?

Ultimately, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to writing your personal statement that
will magically make colleges admit you.

Bummer, we know.

That said, the best personal statements often share a lot of the same qualities, even
when they’re about drastically different topics.

Here, in our opinion, are a few qualities you’ll find in an outstanding personal statement:

1. You can identify the applicant’s core values. In a great personal statement, we
should be able to get a sense of what fulfills, motivates, or excites the author.
These can be things like humor, beauty, community, and autonomy, just to name a
few. So when you read back through your essay, you should be able to detect at
least 4-5 different values throughout.

When you look for these values, also consider whether or not they’re varied or
similar. For instance, values like hard work, determination, and perseverance …
are basically the same thing. On the other hand, more varied values like
resourcefulness, healthy boundaries, and diversity can showcase different qualities
and offer a more nuanced sense of who you are.

2. It’s vulnerable. We love when, after reading an essay, we feel closer to the writer.
The best essays we’ve seen are the ones where students have let their guard
down some. Don’t be afraid to be honest about things that scare, challenge, or
bother you. The personal statement is a great space for you to open up about
those aspects of yourself.

As you’re writing, ask yourself: Does the essay sound like it’s mostly analytical, or
like it’s coming from a deeper, more vulnerable place? Another way of asking this:
Does it sound like the author wrote it using mostly their head (intellect), or their
heart and gut? Remember, this is the “heart” of your application. It’s a place for
emotional vulnerability. After reading it, the admission officer should (we hope) feel
like they have a better sense of who you are.

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 3. It shows insight and growth. Your personal statement should ideally have at
least 3-5 “so what” moments, points at which you draw insights or reflections from
your experiences that speak to your values or sense of purpose. Sometimes, “so
what” moments are subtle. Other times, they’re more explicit. Either way, the more
illuminating, the better. They shouldn’t come out of nowhere, but they also
shouldn’t be predictable. You want your reader to see your mind in action and take
that journey of self-reflection with you.

4. It demonstrates craft (aka it’s articulate and reads well). While content is
important, craft is what’ll bring the best stories to life. That’s why it’s important to
think of writing as a process—it’s very rare that we’ve seen an outstanding
personal statement that didn’t go through at least 5 drafts. Everything you write
should be carefully considered. You don’t want your ideas to come off as sloppy or
half-baked. Your reader should see the care you put into brainstorming and writing
in every sentence. Ask yourself these questions as you write:

Do the ideas in the essay connect in a way that’s logical, but not too obvious (aka
boring)?

Can you tell that the author spent a lot of time revising the essay over the course
of several drafts?

Is it interesting and succinct throughout? If not, where do you lose interest? Where
could words be cut? Which part isn’t revealing as much as it could be?

If you’ve written a first draft and you’re still not sure whether the essay is what you want
it to be, give it to a trusted friend, teacher, or family member and have them evaluate it
based on these 4 general criteria. Sometimes, we spend so much time on an essay that
it’s useful to get another person’s point of view.

What are some great personal statement topics? (aka How do I

brainstorm mine?)
The answer to this question dovetails with the approach you’re taking to structuring your
essay, so let’s talk about that a bit first.

And while structure may seem nebulous, offering vast options, you can really boil it down
to just two approaches: montage or narrative.

So … what are those? And how can you generate some great content for either
structure?

Whether you take a Narrative or Montage Approach to structuring your essay depends
on your answer to this question:

Do you feel like you’ve faced significant challenges in your life … or not so much?
(And do you want to write about them?)

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If yes (to both), you’ll most likely want to use Narrative Structure.

If no (to either), you’ll probably want to try Montage Structure.

The above links dive into greater detail if you’re curious, but essentially, Narrative
Structure is the classic story structure, focusing roughly equally on a) Challenges You
Faced, b) What You Did About Them, and c) What You Learned. Paragraphs and events
are connected causally. (Not casually, btw, but causally—as in, through cause and
effect.)

Montage Structure focuses on a series of experiences and insights that are connected
thematically (so, for example, 5 pairs of pants that connect to 5 different sides of who
you are).

So how does structure play into what makes a great personal statement topic?

We believe a montage essay (i.e., an essay NOT about challenges) is more likely to
stand out if the topic or theme of the essay is:

X. Elastic (i.e., something you can connect to a variety of examples, moments, or

values)

Y. Less common (i.e., something other students probably aren’t writing about)

We believe that a narrative essay is more likely to stand out if it contains:

X. Difficult or compelling challenges

Y. Insight

These aren’t binary—rather, each can be placed on a spectrum.

“Elastic” will vary from person to person. You might be able to connect mountain
climbing to family, history, literature, science, social justice, environmentalism, growth,
insight … and someone else might not connect it to much of anything. Maybe trees?

“Less common”—every year, thousands of students write about mission trips, sports,
or music. It’s not that you can’t write about these things, but it’s a lot harder to stand out.

“Difficult or compelling challenges” can be put on a spectrum with things like getting
a bad grade or not making a sports team on the weaker end, and things like escaping
war or living homeless for three years on the stronger side. While you can possibly write
a strong essay about a weaker challenge, it’s really hard to do.

“Insight” is the answer to the question “so what?” A great insight is likely to surprise the
reader a bit, while a so-so insight likely won’t. (Insight is something you’ll develop in an
essay through the writing process, rather than something you’ll generally know ahead of

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time for a topic, but it’s useful to understand that some topics are probably easier to pull
insights from than others.)

To clarify, you can still write a great montage with a very common topic, or a narrative
that offers so-so insights. But the degree of difficulty goes up. Probably way up.

With that in mind, how do you brainstorm possible topics that are on the easier-to-stand-
out side of the spectrum?

Would you Rather watch instead?

Watch Video At: [Link]

Brainstorming your (outstanding) personal statement topic

In our experience, virtually every great college essay comes from good brainstorming.
So, early on, stay in exploration mode—we recommend that students outline at least 2-3
different ideas before starting a draft.

Quality brainstorming can reveal great topics that you wouldn’t have thought about
otherwise (and that you may not even know you can/are allowed to write about). Also,
more on this in a bit, but outlining well is a huge time-saver, as it can help you either
build a better first draft or reveal that you may not have as much to say about a topic as
you might’ve initially thought.

Here are 5 great brainstorming exercises to get you started:

1. Values Exercise

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 2. Essence Objects Exercise

3. 21 Details Exercise

4. Everything I Want Colleges To Know About Me Exercise

5. Feelings and Needs Exercise

That Values Exercise is your cornerstone—those values are what you’ll want to thread
throughout your application, regardless of what structure you use in your personal
statement.

We’d recommend doing all of those exercises, regardless of which structure you think
you may use, as you may find something new in exploring, and many students will have
to write a bunch of supplemental essays anyway.

That said, if you’re thinking Narrative Structure may be your thing (as in, you have some
strong challenges you want to write about), be sure to spend a nice chunk of time
exploring the Feelings and Needs Exercise (linked above), as it can directly lead to a
strong outline and first draft.

If you’re thinking montage, think about how things like your essence objects and 21
details may be thematically linked, and how they can connect to your core values and
memories. After doing those, you can also check out this list of 21 College Essay Topics
and Ideas That Worked to get a sense of some topics that have paid off. We’ll draw your
attention to some of the specific examples in the tips below. We’ve seen great montages
built around things like:

1. Identity: This can be anything from sexuality, to culture, to race, to religion. For
examples, check out “My Grandma’s Kimchi” or “The Five Families Essay.”

2. Academic/career interests: This isn’t just a list of your favorite classes or a

lengthy explanation of how well you did on that one AP Calculus test junior year.
Instead, it’s more of an exploration of your educational interests and a meditation
on how that might influence the work you do in the future. For examples, check out
“Why Behavioral Economics” and “Flying.”

3. Meaningful objects: Those “essence objects.” They’re basically just objects that
mean more to you because they connect to your values at a deeper level. For
instance, maybe you’d choose dumplings because they remind you of family
dinners on Chinese New Year and a specific moment when you had to navigate
your cultural identity. So, talking about dumplings might give you an entry point into
talking about things like family and cultural connection. Doing the Essence Objects
Exercise linked above will help you figure out what kind of objects might serve this
function in your life. See the “Happiness Spreadsheet” essay for an example.

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 4. Significant Obstacles or Events: You might choose to write about a struggle
you’ve faced or a dilemma that forced you to think more deeply about some aspect
of who you are or what you’re interested in. “The Tally On My Uniform” and “Dead
Bird” are two examples.

It’s important to note that some of these topics will likely overlap. You might choose to
write about a significant challenge you faced that related to your identity in some way. Or
maybe you’ll want to include details about both academic and extracurricular interests.
Don’t feel like you have to choose just one. This list is just to give you a sense of what
kind of topics you can explore.

How should I write a personal statement?

First, outline.

Seriously? Outline?

Yes.

To get into just a little more nuance—if you have a ton of time until your deadline, and
you don’t mind maybe throwing away entire drafts and starting over, then feel free to just
dive in and write.

Otherwise, outline. Doing so will save you time and make your writing better.

So how do you outline?

For a narrative, use the Feelings and Needs Exercise, and build clear bullet points for
the Challenges + Effects, What I Did About It, and What I Learned. Those become your
outline.

Yeah, that simple.

For a montage, outline 4-7 ways your thread connects to different values through
different experiences, and if you can think of them, different lessons and insights (though
these you might have to develop later, during the writing process). For example, how
auto repair connects to family, literature, curiosity, adventure, and personal growth
(through different details and experiences).

Here are some solid example outlines:

Narrative outline (developed from the Feelings and Needs Exercise)

Challenges:

Domestic abuse (physical and verbal)

Controlling father/lack of freedom

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 Harassment

Sexism/bias

Effects:

Prevented from pursuing opportunities

Cut off from world/family

Lack of sense of freedom/independence

Faced discrimination

What I Did About It:

Pursued my dreams

Traveled to Egypt, London, and Paris alone

Challenged stereotypes

Explored new places and cultures

Developed self-confidence, independence, and courage

Grew as a leader

Planned events

What I learned:

Inspired to help others a lot more

Learned about oppression, and how to challenge oppressive norms

Became closer with mother, somewhat healed relationship with father

Need to feel free

And here’s the essay that became: Easter

Montage outline:

Thread: Home

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 Bojangles

Values: family, tradition, literature

Ex: “Tailgate Special,” discussions w/family, reading Nancy Drew

Perception, connection to family

Chinese sword dance

Values: culture/heritage, meticulousness, dedication, creativity

Ex: notebook, formations/choreography

Nuances of culture, power of connection

Lab 304

Values: science/chemistry, curiosity

Synthesizing plat nanoparticles

Joy of discovery, redefining expectations

Governor’s School

Values: exploration, personal growth

Knitting, physics, politics, etc.

Importance of exploring beyond what I know/am used to, taking risks

And here’s the essay that became: Home

Write

Once you’ve got a solid outline, start drafting. A few really useful things for your first
draft:

Don’t worry about word count (within reason).

Don’t worry about making your first draft perfect—it won’t be. Just write.

Don’t worry about a fancy opening or ending.

We’ve seen way too many students not write about the things they need to explore in a
first draft because they were worried about word count. If your first draft of a 650-word
essay is 800 or 900 words, cool. You’ll have to cut eventually. But that’s the easy part
(you generally just hit “delete”).

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And it’s actually easier to write a good first draft if you’re not worrying about writing a
good first draft. We know that sounds contradictory. But what we mean is that a first draft
is good if it gives you a clear sense of where to head with your second and third drafts.
That’s its job—to help map where you go next.

Linked to that, a strong opening and ending are things you can more easily develop
once you’re clearer on your content and structure. So, for a first draft, if something cool
comes to you, great. But if not, don’t let it stop you from drafting.

Jump in and spend some time getting your ideas down on paper. Remember your first
draft is just a chance to mess around with different topics and thoughts. It doesn’t have
to be anywhere close to perfect. If it helps, just think of it as a brain dump. Once you’ve
got all your ideas somewhere, you can start to reorganize and make them more
coherent.

Revise (And revise. And revise ...)

Like we said earlier, it’s incredibly rare for an outstanding personal statement to not go
through at least 5 drafts. So this is a big part of the process.

To get you started, this guide to Revising Your Essay in 5 Steps will help you create
clearer logical flow, as will this breakdown of 9 different ways to effectively transition.

If you want to build a better opening, check out a bunch of options to play with there
(we’d recommend experimenting, even if you have something you like—through
exploring, you may find something even better).

And if you want to strengthen the ending of your essay, wander over that way.

Additionally, one of the best general tips we can give you as you revise is to read your
essay out loud to yourself. And try to read from a total stranger’s perspective.

Reading out loud will help you notice problems you maybe missed when reading it in
your mind. And reading from a stranger’s perspective will help ensure you aren’t relying
on things in your brain that need to be on the page (but aren’t).

You might also try reading it to a trusted family member, teacher, or friend. They might
be able to give you some constructive feedback to make your piece more relatable or
accessible for other people. Just keep in mind that some people may have a good sense
of what makes for strong writing in general, but not necessarily what makes for a strong
college essay specifically.

For more about the essay writing process, check out our Ultimate Guide for writing your
personal statement.

Want some guidance on your college applications?

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Schedule a meeting to work with my team.

Three personal statement examples (with analysis for why they

worked)
Example 1: "Cheers"

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While my friends binge The Office, I’m at home with my favorite family tavern,
Cheers. Reminiscing on my first visit five-years-ago, going into my tenth visit, I
realize the gang at Cheers is my mirror: they reflect how I’ve grown.

Sam Malone. Handsome, charming, ex-pro athlete. When I first met Sam, I had
the typical impression: a playboy. However, I now see the real Sam: a
compassionate [Link] in Birmingham, I’ve learned many positive lessons,
but there are some lessons I’m ashamed of. Homophobia is still prevalent in
Alabama; something platonic as hugging your friend fuels ridicule. There’s
anepisode where Sam is conflicted after discovering his old best-friend was gay.
By the end, he determines that whom his friend loves shouldn’t affect their
friendship--a progressive act for 1983. This became personal when my brother
came out. I was angered that a society that taught me Southern hospitality tried to
teach me to hate one of the people I love most. Sam’s actions taught me who one
chooses to love doesn’t change their humanity and encouraged me to promote
that view in Alabama. When classmates make homophobic comments, I always
bring up my brother and our story. These same classmates are now attending the
annual Pride parades, standing up for our friends’ rights.

Diane Chambers. Educated, elitist, starving artist. Diane loved the arts and
displayed her work proudly, even if her cartoons of people depicted animals. As a
kid, my dad attempted to teach me how to draw. These sessions ended in
frustration, as I wasn’t able to recreate his work. While I was fascinated by the
expression of creativity, I thought, “I’m not talented.” Through Diane’s character
arcs, I learned art is not linear; it’s multi-dimensional. Diane would appreciate the
discovery of my means of expression: graphic design and programming. I blend
the two mediums to create an impactful product. Whether it’s designing and
developing an app to battle the Tanzanian Water Crisis, or creating advertisements
and social media posts for my internship at a construction-tech start-up, I reveal
my visionthrough my greatest passion: technology.

Dr. Frasier Crane. Intelligent, empathetic, scientist. Frasier (we’re on a first-name

basis), joined the gang later after falling in love with Diane at a mental health
retreat. I first met Frasier when I struggled to fit in with my peers. While I had a
passion for STEM and its ability to uncover mysteries of the unknown, my peers
had a passion for hating everything academic. While I thought Frasier was super
cool, I still called him a nerd. However, watching the way Frasier embraced
science gradually allowed me to realize my love for it is something to hone rather
than suppress. Eventually, I developed enough confidence to reach out to a
professor at the University of Alabama at Birmingham to conduct computational
physics research. Over the past three years, I have completed two research
projects, currently researching the distinct applications of computer vision, and
have become a pioneer within STEM. Inspired by the love for Computer Science
competitions, I founded the district’s first CS team. Upon concluding our
presentation at the U.S. Capitol, I knew Frasier would be proud.

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 The Cheers gang. I have wondered why I clicked with them so well since we are
different people. Sam the jock, Frasier the nerd, Diane the artist, I the awkward
teenager. I’ve realized each of them is a part of me. When I face societal pressure,
I always learn and overcome. While I’m passionate about science, I also love the
arts. Whereas I used to be an antisocial 7th grader, I’m now a senior with great
friends and mentors. No matter what I’m struggling with in life, I know I can return
to Cheers, where everybody knows your name.

———

Why this essay worked:

This essay does a great job of using the Montage Structure to incorporate a bunch of
different aspects of the applicant’s life into one coherent piece. You’ll notice that they use
the TV show Cheers and the characters in it as a clothesline off which to “hang” their
interest in computer science and graphic design, LGBTQ+ community allyship, and
generally endearing nerdiness. This is a really clever way of bringing together seemingly
disparate topics. It doesn’t take itself too seriously but tells a lot about the author and
how she thinks. It also gives her a very clear structure for her essay. Each paragraph is
devoted to one Cheers character and (more importantly) expounds on the ways the
author connects to that individual. The essay has a clear purpose despite lacking a
linear narrative.

Also notice that the author doesn’t necessarily have a super clear idea of what she
wants to do, career-wise. However, she still incorporates specific details about how she’s
synthesized computer science and artistic design in various clubs and events. She
doesn’t explicitly have to tell us what her future career is for us to get a sense of what
interests she might pursue in college. This is a prime example of how you can write an
outstanding personal statement even if you don’t totally know what you want to do in
college and haven’t faced a significant challenge.

Example 2:

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All that I remember from my childhood are happy memories - of blowing balloons
in summer after eating an ice-cone, coming from school to find my favourite
snacks lined up on the table, my grandma feeding me with her own hands and
never failing to add that extra spoon of ghee (clarified butter) to my rice.

My parents shielded us from everything that was bad in this world or could
somehow hurt us. They were so protective that I learned to ride a bike on the roof
of our three-story house because my parents didn’t think it was safe for me to ride
on the [Link] onour roof, a place well within the four walls of our house, I had
someone looking out for me.

That protective bubble around me finally popped when I was stopped from
entering a temple where my family goes annually on an auspicious day. I loved
that subtle fragrance of saffron and seeing the beautifully decoratedtemple with
thousands of pilgrims lining up. My grandpa donates a lot there which allows us to
enter early in the morning and perform the rituals without the usual crowd. The
problem this year was a new rule that prohibited Western clothing. The strange
thing was that they didn’t stop male my cousin even though we were wearing the
exact same thing, jeans and t-shirt. I wouldn’t be surprised if this happened today
but I was then, as I was only in middle school. I hadn’t seen anything like this yet
because my family never treated us differently -- we hadn’t previously seen this
side of the world.

I started trying to learn more about the “real world”, reading more news and
participating in intercultural exchanges and debates, anything that would give me
more insight. This process of exploring different versions of an event, of noticing
how different people might see the same thing, made me more observant. But this
also made me think of how others might see me and I became scared of being
judged.

When I was elected Head Girl this past year, I became even more self-conscious
because I was in the limelight -- and everything I would do would reflect on the
school.

I thankfully realized how irrational my fears were during a hectic Round Square
International Conference (RSIC) at school. I was busy heading our student team
and managing crises. When a school bought more students than they’d registered,
I didn’t have time to think, I had to rely on my instincts and take action. Teachers
from across the world praised me; one even said I’d been the soul of our
conference.

These small but empowering moments have helped me realize that I could trust
my decisions, my input counted too. I need to be myself and worry less about what
others think. I could have easily changed my clothes that day at the temple but I
didn’t because that’s not who I am. There’s always going to be someone who
might not approve of what I do and that is all right.

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 I am choosing to attend college in the United States because there I cancontinue
my quest to learn more about the complexities of this world. My family never
allowed me to use the public transportation in my city. I understand their concern,
but I think it’s time for me to explore outside the safety of home, to ride a bike or
take the subway, make my mistakes, and learn my way. At school, I felt like I was
in the spotlight yet so invisible mostly because I worried about what others might
think. But now I will choose to be visible, choose to be me.

———

Why this essay worked:

Off the bat, one of the biggest things that stands out about this essay is the level of detail
in it. In the intro, the author evokes very visceral images of blowing balloons in the
summer, extra spoonfuls of ghee on rice, and riding bikes on rooftops. The more you
can drop the reader into your world and engage their senses, the better. You want
people to be able to identify with you so that they have a clear sense of who you are as
a person. It also helps you stand out. The more specifically you write, the less likely it is
that anyone else could have written it. That’s what this whole personal statement thing is
all about—showing what you can uniquely bring to the table.

The other great thing about this essay is that it ends in a different place from where it
begins. This shows insight and growth. The author goes from questioning her instincts
and judgements to seeing her inherent value. She begins to gain confidence and see the
positive ways in which she can contribute to the conversations she’s a part of. This
transformation is important because it’s a hook that keeps people reading. They don’t
know where the essay is going to take them, so they keep reading to see where the
author will end up. It also demonstrates the applicant’s growth and ability to self-reflect,
which are always great qualities to highlight in college essays.

Example 3:

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Apparently, I have a natural “mom vibe.”

On my volleyball team, I am team mom in every way. As a natural worrier, I like to

make sure that everyone has all of their necessities: knee pads, water bottle, hair
elastic, uniform. Did everyone go to the bathroom before leaving on the bus? Did
we count to make sure that all fourteen of us are here? Does anyone want an
apple slice? Over my many years of playing volleyball, I have learned how to play
every position well enough to fill in for any member of my team, whether that’s
front, back, libero, setter, or hitter, so that I can always be there for my team in a
pinch.

A few years ago, I transitioned from looking after only my teammates to also
helping actual children. I started volunteering at my former elementary school as a
teacher’s assistant. I guide third graders through difficult word problems or
sentence structures, sometimes translating the lesson to Mandarin for the Chinese
students who are struggling with English. I live for that moment when the
impossible suddenly becomes possible and I see a student use what they just
learned correctly without any assistance.

I love helping kids ask big questions, and think about how to solve them, because
it reminds me of how my parents guided me. Ever since I can remember, every
time my father and I are alone on a long trip, we ask each other questions and the
other has to answer with scientific evidence. Do birds have eyelids? Why is gelatin
gelatinous? What does schizophrenia look like in a brain? I love thinking about
how things work from the molecular level all the way up to the mechanical level.

During a recent internship, I had the opportunity to ask big questions through
research, a step beyond the guesstimating I was used to doing in my dad’s CRV.
The team I was working with was conducting studies focused on treating
alcoholism. My job was to “clean up” the data, or make it more readable. I sifted
through spreadsheets, digging for the important data and piecing everything
together logically. Knowing that my contribution would have a positive impact on
people’s lives was incredibly meaningful.

I’ve always enjoyed putting things together like a puzzle. As Chief Layout Editor of
my school newspaper, I help my designers compile every edition. Like a real-life
game of Tetris, every article must fit perfectly with the other articles around it, lined
up into evenly lengthed columns. No matter how much experience a graphic
designer has, no one gets all of their articles laid out nicely on the first try. We
solve every edition by trial and error, which often results in lots of frustration, but
no amount of frustration can surpass the pride and satisfaction once we have all
the pages compiled and printed.

As a pediatrician, I will be able to strengthen and use all these parts of me. I will
have the chance to treat a multitude of illnesses and injuries and problem solve my
way through each one. Each day, I will be able to think critically and scientifically to

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 give families possible solutions and peace of mind about their child’s health. I hope
to continually expand my knowledge as medicine advances and ask big questions
by frequently participating in research. Hopefully I’ll be able to work with a great
group of peers in a clinic and in public health. I want to find new solutions to
seemingly unsolvable problems, and finally, use all of my skills and qualities to
help better the lives of others.

Plus, as a pediatrician, I will be able to take care of children who cannot always
advocate for themselves, so my mom instinct will be one of my greatest assets.

———

Why this essay worked:

This is another creative example of how you can go about writing a montage essay. The
author uses her “mom vibe” to her advantage and discusses how her interest in
attending to the people (and world) around her has influenced different spheres of her
life. Notice how well the first line hooks us into the story. It’s short, sweet, funny, and
visibly distinct from the denser paragraphs below. When you’re writing, think very
carefully about your first sentence and the work it’s doing to rope your reader in. That
first sentence is your first impression on readers, so you want it to be a good one.

One last standout aspect of this essay is the way it uses questions. In it, the author
poses a lot of big and (oftentimes) unanswered questions. This is great because it
highlights her natural curiosity and shows her mind in action. She doesn’t have to
answer the questions for them to speak volumes about her personality and interests.
Don’t feel like you have to resolve everything neatly by the end of your essay. That
would be unrealistic, and ultimately, pretty uninteresting. It’s okay to pose questions for
the sake of sheer wonder. In fact, it’s better than okay—it’s great. Nerd out a little. Have
fun with it.

With all these writing/brainstorming strategies and example essays, the personal
statement shouldn’t feel too intimidating anymore. Now you have all the tools you need
to start writing an amazing essay.

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