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PJ: Logan
JJ: Luke
Flodene: Reagan (15)
Louise: Maysen (9)
Nancy: Coleena
Gertie: Natalie (13)
Bunny Sue: Ellie (16)
Cindy Lou: Emma (10)
Betty: Macey (13)
Bobby: Xander
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UNCLE PHIL’S DINER

ALL CAST: “GREAT BALLS OF FIRE” (Entire cast DANCE)

P.J.: Hey, all you hair hoppers and big boppers! Welcome to Uncle Phil’s
diner, where the food is fresh and so is the help. I’m P.J. the dee jay,
and we’ll be spinning the platters and serving up a tasty helping of
licorice pizza. (holds up record album) We’ll be bringing you all of
today’s hits, each one recorded in state of the art high fidelity.

ALL CAST: Ooooohhhhhh!

P.J.: And let me introduce everybody to JJ.

J.J.: Hey everybody, I’m J.J., P.J.’s sidekick and his best friend to boot!
He’s teaching me how to spin those platters to keep the top 20 hits
comin’ at ya! Now let me introduce you to our fine waitstaff.

P.J. Our head waitress, and a veritable institution here at Uncle Phil’s is
Flodene. She keeps us all in line.

FLODENE: Hey P.J.! (to guest) You there, I saw you stick your gum
underneath the table! You’re cruisin’ for a bruisin’!

J.J..: She can take your order, correct your table manners, and yell for
Phil in a single breath! And that’s Louise. She’s our hostess with the
mostest and Flodene’s kid sister.

LOUISE: Not now, J.J. I’m kinda busy. (To customer) Hold your horses,
buster, everyone gets a seat!

J.J.: Next, is our grease monkey, Tony.

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TONY: Yo.

P.J: Tony works over at Bob’s garage during the day but moonlights over
here to make some extra money. Tony, did you wash your hands before
you came in here tonight?

TONY: Uhhh…sure P.J. (Holds up stained hands, looks surprised, wipes

on pants)

J.J: Don’t worry folks. We’ll have him sanitized for your protection.

(Betty slams down the phone and runs over to excitedly chatter with the
other girls)

J.J.: And THAT is Uncle Phil’s rockin’ resident “fan club” coordinator,
Betty! What’s buzzin’ cuzzin’?

Betty: UnREAL! The Chordettes will be at the state fair, and they’re
sending buttons and flyers to OUR fan club to help spread the word!

Nancy: The Chordettes!?! O, they are the bee’s knees! I just LOVE their
song Lollipop!

P.J: Me too! Sounds like a good time for music from our sponsors.

Song: Lollipop

JJ: Great song! Great idea, Nancy! She’s Central High’s chess champion
of the month THREE years running and a regular here at Uncle Phil’s.

Louise: She’s also MY best friend!

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P.J.: Sometimes she’s around for a burger and other times Flodene’s
putting everyone to work, just depends on her mood for the day.

FLODENE: My mood for the day? If you keep yapping I’m gonna make
Uncle Phil actually put you to work.

J.J.: And over there is Bunny Sue, head paper shaker at Evergreen High
School, and head of the Winter Sock Hop committee of 1957 and a
candidate for this year’s “Uncle Phil’s Burger Queen”!
​
​ BUNNY SUE: Evergreen! Evergreen! RAH! RAH! RAH!

​ CINDY LOU: Central High! Central High! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

​ P.J: And that’s Bunny Sue’s crosstown rival, head cheerleader at Central
High.

LOUIS: Ok girls, break it up!

​
BUNNY SUE: (very boldly, pushing others out of the way) May I say a
few words?

CINDY LOU: May I GAG on a french fry?

BUNNY SUE: Welcome, everyone! I am proud to be here, mostly because

I’ll be wearing a crown on my head soon when I win the title of Uncle
Phil’s Burger Queen.

CINDY LOU: In your dreams!

BETTY: Here we go again….

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BUNNY SUE: Did you just say, “I’m like a dream”? You’re too kind. (Cheering)
Burger Queen, Burger Queen, I’m your girl!

CINDY LOU: (Cheering) “Uncle Phil’s, Uncle Phil’s vote for me! I will be the
Burger Queen!”
(Girls start to scuffle with their pom poms)

FLODENE: Don’t make me use my spray bottle (spray)

BUNNY SUE: As I was saying…as I was in charge of table decor tonight, I’ve
done all I can to make this evening perfect. I hope you enjoy your time here
this evening (all of a sudden she spies the “tropical” napkins and screams….)
GERTIE!

GERTIE: (rushes in with decorating supplies stuck all over her and
carrying more supplies) What is it Bunny? (Pantomime heated
discussion with Bunny Sue)

P.J: Last but not least is Gertrude Agnes Leggonberger.

Gertie: (Look to audience) That’s Gertie to my friends. (Continue

“discussion” with Bunny Sue)

JJ: She’s a whiz with calculus, so if you need a tutor call her up!

BUNNY SUE: (controlling her anger, trying to appear nice to the

audience, holding a napkin) Gertie, what do you see here?

GERTIE: (nervous) A napkin. What do you see?

Cindy Lou: I see a crown in my future!

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BUNNY SUE: (revealing the two sides of her personality - sweet to
audience but cruel to Gertie. All is said with a forced smile) Why do we
have tropical fish napkins on the tables when I specifically said that the
decor was to be cars, guitars, and record albums!? I see my reputation
as Decorating Committee Chairwoman hanging by a thread. I thought
we talked about this! I can’t do everything myself, can I? I mean, really,
between my duties as head cheerleader, Sock Hop committee
chairwoman, Uncle Phil’s burger queen candidate, and Of course, MY
HAIR! My time is pretty much gone! (almost yelling) What do you have
to say for yourself?!!!!

GERTIE: I’m sorry, Bunny, but you originally told me the theme was “A
tropical paradise”.

BUNNY SUE: (dreamily) That was before Roger told me he loved fast
cars, steel guitars, and listening to his 45’s.

GERTIE: Well, I’ve just been so busy managing your campaign for Uncle
Phil’s Burger Queen, and finishing the decorations, and baking the
snacks, and taking tickets, and….

BUNNY SUE: I don’t have time for your excuses. Just fix it!!! (motions for
Gertie to get on the floor and talks sweetly to crowd) And let me finish
with this last bit of importance (props foot up on Gertie’s back and starts
cheering) We’ve got spirit, yes we do!! We’ve got spirit, how about you?!

CINDY LOU: V-I-C-T-O-R-Y! Victory is our battle cry!

(Uncle Phil comes up behind the girls with a disgusted look on his face)

P.J.: And this is Uncle Phil.

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Uncle Phil: Get off Gertie’s back and listen up. (Gertie stands up and
brushes herself off ) Gertie does not deserve this treatment. She has
worked Very hard for you, Bunny Sue. You could learn something from
her. She puts others’ needs before her own and loves unconditionally.
Now, let’s all BE KIND!

P.J.: Hey everybody, that’s Uncle Phil. He’s about the finest Christian
man we know. And, well, he really cares about all us kids at the diner.
Say hi to the folks, Uncle Phil.

Uncle Phil: Hey, folks! Betty, did your dad get that delivery job?

BETTY: Yeah. They gave him the job, but he’s going to have to turn it
down because our care is broken, and we can’t afford to fix it.

UNCLE PHIL: You know, we’re done with all our pick ups by 7 every
morning, and my truck just sits there for the rest of the day. Your dad is
welcome to use it any time after that.

BETTY: Really? Are you sure Uncle Phil?

UNCLE PHIL: (Hands her keys) Yep. I’m sure.

BETTY: Thanks!

UNCLE PHIL: And what was all that excitement I heard you screaming
about earlier?

BETTY: O! The Chordettes are coming to town! But don’t forget,

everyone, we have LOTS of rockin’ fan clubs….there’s Dean Martin,
Bob Hope, Elvis Presley, OF COURSE Women Wrestlers of the 50’s.
There are several others that I don’t have time to mention because
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someone couldn't put a lid on it. (Glares at Bunny Sue) Anyway, our
group will be sitting right over there, so if anyone wants to join any of our
wicked fan clubs, just come on over!

JJ: Hey Louise! What fan club are you a part of? I’m trying to decide between
Bobby Darryn and The Platters.

LOUISE: Ooooo tough choice! I might go with The Platters.

BETTY: Why not join both!

​ ​ ​
UNCLE PHIL: P.J! J.J! Uncle I Pay you to play music, not gab with the
guests!!

J.J: (Ad lib) Alright, alright. Let's get this diner a twistin’ and a shakin’!

P.J.: (to audience) Remember we are here to serve you, folks. Just don’t be
alarmed when we break into singing every now and then. So sit back and
ENJOY! (Puts a new record on) Come on, snakes! Let’s rattle!

ROCKIN’ ROBBIN
(ROCKIN’ ROBBIN ENDS. A LOUD EXPLOSION IS HEARD IN BACK OF
RESTAURANT)

ALL CAST: What was that! Get Down! Holy smokes! Etc…

LOUISE & NANCY: It’s the War of the Worlds!

​
UNCLE PHIL: PJ, JJ, get in here!! (Boys runs to kitchen and then return)

J.J.: We have just been informed that Uncle Phil’s Diner has fallen victim to
the careless destruction of one of our toilets.
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PJ: An unknown assailant thought it would be funny to put a cherry bomb

down the commode in the women’s restroom, and now there’s more than just
pieces of commode on the ceiling, if you know what I mean.

BETTY: Shameful, just shameful.

FLODENE: Well, I’m gonna get to the bottom of this! Oh, pardon my choice of
words! Oh my goodness! Look at all the suds coming from the ladies room!

BUNNY SUE: Why, who could do such a thing? Uncle Phil’s is the happiest
place in town. It's my favorite place in town.

CINDY LOU: I just can’t believe someone could do that.

FLODENE: Oh quit, sulking. Don’t worry! The Burger Queen crowning is still
gonna happen. So unless you're gonna help clean up this mess (Gestures
towards restrooms) let's just keep the records spinning and those malts a
coming. (Gertie exits towards bathrooms to clean mess)

J.J.: You know, PJ, all these bubbles remind me of one of our favorites. Might
as well make it a bash!

P.J.: I know just the song you mean. Let’s do it, guys!

SONG: “SPLISH SPLASH”

(someone walks in wearing rubber gloves and carrying a mop and bucket)
GERTIE: Whew! That’s something I never wanna see again.

BUNNY SUE: All I can say is: Be assured, I will not rest one minute until this
juvenile delinquent, this “Mad Potty Prankster”, is brought to justice. He has
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ruined my sock hop and I will leave no stone unturned, no door unopened,
no……

FLODENE: Put a sock in it, Bunny Sue! You are way too young to be wound
that tight.

BUNNY SUE: How can everyone be so calm about this?! Am I the only one
who cares about this place? Someone has come in and disrespected Uncle Phil’s
Diner, and I seem to be the only one who cares. I just need to know-

FLODENE: (Interrupts Bunny Sue) I’ll tell you what you need, honey. What
you need is..

Gertie: ….a nice long stroll!

Flodene: You took the words right out of my mouth, hit it!

ALL CAST: “THE STROLL”

JJ: (with Louise) Hey, Uncle Phil, we took your advice and volunteered down at
the shelter.

LOUISE: Only thing is, they really need us on Thursday afternoons. We can ask
them for a different day if you can’t change our work schedules at the diner.

UNCLE PHIL: That’s great! I’m really proud of both of you. We’ll figure things out
around here. O, hey! I could make some extra meat loaf to send over with you!

JJ: Ummm that’s ok.

LOUISE: Thanks anyway….

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(PHONE RINGS)

UNCLE PHIL: Hey Betty, you have a phone call!

BETTY: Thanks! (she screams into the phone and jumps up and down) Oh!
Thank you so much! Oh,this is unreal! (hangs up the phone) You’re all gonna go
ape! You’ll never guess who’s here at OUR fan club’s invitation. Oh, I can’t
believe it! This is bonkers!!

LOUISE: Well who is it?

GERTIE: Yeah, come on, spill it!

BETTY: It’s____________!!! He’s driving through town on his way to a gig

tonight, and he’s going to make a pit stop right here at Uncle Phil’s Diner!

ALL CAST: (Ad lib) Can you believe _____is coming here?! Golly, I bet he’s
just as dreamy as I imagined.

SONG:

GERTIE: Wow! That was about the most incredible thing I’ve ever witnessed.

PJ: Well, aside from the cherry bomb in the toilet of course!

FLODENE: Oh, he’s so dreamy! If only he could’ve stayed longer I know we

would’ve fallen in love.

CINDY LOU: What do you mean would’ve? I can’t speak for the rest of the
girls but I definitely fell in love.

LOUISE: Just imagine...____________...my brother-in-law!!!

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FLODENE: Flodene ___________…..(Bunny Sue is rolling her eyes)

Gertie: Sorry Flo. I guess you’ll just have to say “Bye Bye” to love.

SONG: “BYE BYE LOVE”

​ CINDY LOU: I know you can’t help falling in love but we need to finish the last
touches for the Burger Queen ceremony.

FLODENE: Oh don’t be cruel, a girl can dream, can’t she.

BUNNY SUE: Good grief, Flo, aren’t you supposed to be the tough one of all of
us?

FLODENE: What can I say, I’m a sucker for a happy ending.

PJ: And now it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for! (Bunny gives a little
scream) Some more than others --- The crowning of this year’s Uncle Phil’s
Burger Queen! (Everyone applauds)

JJ: And the crown goes to…Miss Gertie Liggonberger! (Bunny and Cindy Lou
both approach to accept the crown and spatula)

BUNNY SUE: Thank you! Thank you! I’ve dreamed about this day since I
was a little girl, and now I…did you say Gertie Liggonberger?? How can that be?
She was sponsored by the Mathletes, for crying out loud!

NANCY: HEY! We’re a perfectly viable club!

BUNNY SUE: I demand a recount!

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GERTIE: Thank you all so much! This is indeed an honor, but I don’t deserve
this. I’m nothing special.

UNCLE PHIL: Sure you are, Gertie!

FLODENE: You are sweet, loving, kind, and a servant to anyone you meet!

LOUISE: That’s what we are all supposed to be. You’re an example To

everyone here!

BUNNY SUE: Gertie, they’re right. I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you. You
deserve that crown.

CINDY LOU: You really are a good example to all of us.

Why don’t you enjoy the rest of the night and I’LL finish cleaning up
the mess in the bathroom. (Cherry bombs drop from pocket)

BETTY: What’s this? Cherry bombs?

PJ & JJ: YOU’RE the Mad Potty Prankster?

LOUISE & NANCY: Buy WHY?

CINDY LOU: I thought for sure Bunny Sue would win the Burger Queen contest
And I just didn’t want her to have the crown AND the perfect sock
Hop all in one night. (Ashamed) I’m sorry Bunny Sue and I’m
Happy for you, Gertie. (turns to exit with mop and bucket)

FLODINE: Wait JUST a second, missy! I’m gonna (cut off by Louise)

LOUISE: Let her work at Uncle Phil’s to help pay for the damages?
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BETTY: Give her a hand cleaning up?

UNCLE PHIL: Give her a second chance!

FLODINE: Even though Gertie was up to her elbows in your mess, I’m sure she
and the rest of us can find it in our hearts to forgive you.

Gertie: (Gertie and Bunny look at each other in agreeance and smile) I’m sure
we can work that out.

ALL CAST: (Ad lib, clapping,) Yeah! Gertie, we love you! You’re the best,
Gertie!

UNCLE PHIL: I’d say you are ALL one of a kind. Some are more “one of a
kind” than others. Kids, you are all special in my book.

FLODENE: Well Phil, I think that’s the end of an eventful night.

UNCLE PHIL: And it was better than a grease fire in the kitchen.

(Crash off stage)

TONY: (peaks head on stage. Shurgs) Sorry!

FLODENE: You know, Phil, sometimes I wonder why you keep hiring these kids.
It seems like they cost you more money than they make for you.

UNCLE PHIL: Well Flo, sometimes they do, but I’ve been shown grace and given
second chances in my life. I want to do the same for them. P.J. J.J. take us
home!
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