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NICK.
Christina Rossetti

There dwelt in a small village, not a thousand miles from Fairyland, a poor
man, who had no family to labour for or friend to assist. When I call him poor, you
must not suppose he was a homeless wanderer, trusting to charity for a night's
lodging; on the contrary, his stone house, with its green verandah and flower-garden,
was the prettiest and snuggest in all the place, the doctor's only excepted. Neither
was his store of provisions running low: his farm supplied - him with milk, eggs,
mutton, butter, poultry, and cheese in abundance; his fields with hops and barley for
beer, and wheat for bread ; his orchard with fruit and cider ; and his kitchen-garden
with vegetables and whole-some herbs. He had, moreover, health, an appetite to
enjoy all these good things, and strength to walk about his possessions. No, I call
him poor because, with all these, he was discontented and envious. It was in vain
that his apples were the largest for miles around, if his neighbour's vines were the
most productive by a single bunch ; it was in vain that his lambs were fat and
thriving, if someone else's sheep bore twins : so, instead of enjoying his own
prosperity, and being glad when his neighbours prospered too, he would sit
grumbling and bemoaning himself as if every other man's riches were his poverty.
And thus it was that one day our friend Nick leaned over Giles Hodge's gate,
counting his cherries.
'Yes,' he muttered, 'I wish I were sparrows to eat them up, or a blight to kill
your fine trees altogether.'
The words were scarcely uttered when he felt a tap on his shoulder, and
looking round, perceived a little rosy woman, no bigger than a butterfly, who held her
tiny fist clenched in a menacing attitude. She looked scornfully at him, and said: 'Now
listen, you churl, you! henceforward you shall straightway become everything you
wish ; only mind, you must remain under one form for at least an hour.' Then she
gave him a slap in the face, which made his cheek tingle as if a bee had stung him,
and disappeared with just so much sound as a dewdrop makes in falling.
Nick rubbed his cheek in a pet, pulling wry faces and showing his teeth. He
was boiling over with vexation, but dared not vent it in words lest some unlucky wish
should escape him. Just then the sun seemed to shine brighter than ever, the wind
blew spicy from the south; all Giles's roses looked redder and larger than before,
while his cherries seemed to multiply, swell, ripen. He could refrain no longer, but,
heedless of the fairy-gift he had just received, exclaimed, ' I wish I were sparrows
eating'. No sooner said than done : in a moment he found himself a whole flight of
hungry birds, pecking, devouring, and bidding fair to devastate the envied
cherry-trees. But honest Giles was on the watch hard by; for that very morning
it had struck him he must make nets for the protection of his fine fruit. Forthwith he
ran home, and speedily returned with a revolver furnished with quite a marvellous
array of barrels. Pop, bang — pop, bang! he made short work of the sparrows, and
soon reduced the enemy to one crestfallen biped with broken leg and wing, who
limped to hide himself under a holly-bush. But though the fun was over, the hour was
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not; so Nick must needs sit out his allotted time. Next a pelting shower came down,
which soaked him through his torn, ruffled feathers ; and then, exactly as the last
drops fell and the sun came out with a beautiful rainbow, a tabby cat pounced upon
him. Giving himself up for lost, he chirped in desperation, ' O, I wish I were a dog to
worry you !' Instantly — for the hour was just passed — in the grip of his horrified
adversary, he turned at bay, a savage bull-dog. A shake, a deep bite, and poor puss
was out of her pain. Nick, with immense satisfaction, tore her fur to bits, wishing he
could in like manner exterminate all her progeny. At last, glutted with vengeance,
he lay down beside his victim, relaxed his ears and tail, and fell asleep.
Now that tabby-cat was the property and special pet of no less a personage
than the doctor's lady; so when dinner-time came, and not the cat, a general
consternation pervaded the household. The kitchens were searched, the cellars, the
attics ; every apartment was ransacked ; even the watch-dog's kennel was visited.
Next the stable was rummaged, then the hay-loft; lastly, the bereaved lady wandered
disconsolately through her own private garden into the shrubbery, calling ' Puss,
puss,' and looking so intently up the trees as not to perceive what lay close before
her feet. Thus it was that, unawares, she stumbled over Nick, and trod upon his tail.
Up jumped our hero, snarling, biting, and rushing at her with such blind fury as
to miss his aim. She ran, he ran. Gathering up his strength, he took a flying-leap
after his victim; her foot caught in the spreading root of an oak-tree, she fell, and he
went over her head, clear over, into a bed of stinging-nettles. Then she found breath
to raise that fatal cry, ' Mad dog !' Nick's blood curdled in his veins ; he would have
slunk away if he could ; but already a stout labouring man, to whom he had done
many an ill turn in the time of his humanity, had spied him, and, bludgeon in hand,
was preparing to give chase. However, Nick had the start of him, and used it too ;
while the lady, far behind, went on vociferating, ' Mad dog, mad dog!' inciting doctor,
servants, and vagabonds to the pursuit. Finally, the whole village came pouring out
to swell the hue and cry.
The dog kept ahead gallantly, distancing more and more the asthmatic doctor,
fat Giles, and, in fact, all his pursuers except the bludgeon-bearing labourer, who
was just near enough to persecute his tail. Nick knew the magic hour must be almost
over, and so kept forming wish after wish as he ran, — that he were a viper only to
get trodden on, a thorn to run into some one's foot, a man-trap in the path, even the
detested bludgeon to miss its aim and break. This wish crossed his mind at the
propitious moment; the bull-dog vanished, and the labourer, overreaching himself,
fell flat on his face, while his weapon struck deep into the earth, and snapped.
A strict search was instituted after the missing dog, but without success.
During two whole days the village children were exhorted to keep indoors and
beware of dogs; on the third an inoffensive bull pup was hanged, and the panic
subsided.
Meanwhile the labourer, with his shattered stick, walked home in silent
wonder, pondering on the mysterious disappearance. But the puzzle was beyond his
solution; so he only made up his mind not to tell his wife the whole story till after tea.
He found her preparing for that meal, the bread and cheese set out, and the kettle
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singing softly on the fire. ' Here's something to make the kettle boil, mother,' said he,
thrusting our hero between the bars and seating himself ; ' for I'm mortal tired and
thirsty.'
Nick crackled and blazed away cheerfully, throwing out bright sparks, and
lighting up every corner of the little room. He toasted the cheese to a nicety, made
the kettle boil without spilling a drop, set the cat purring with comfort, and illuminated
the pots and pans into splendour. It was provocation enough to be burned; but to
contribute by his misfortune to the well-being of his tormentors was still more
aggravating. He heard, too, all their remarks and wonderment about the supposed
mad-dog, and saw the doctor's lady's own maid bring the labourer five shillings as a
reward for his exertions. Then followed a discussion as to what should be purchased
with the gift, till at last it was resolved to have their best window glazed with real
glass. The prospect of their grandeur put the finishing-stroke to Nick's indignation.
Sending up a sudden flare, he wished with all his might that he were fire to burn the
cottage.
Forthwith the flame leaped higher than ever flame leaped before. It played for
a moment about a ham, and. smoked it to a nicety; then, fastening on the woodwork
above the chimney-corner, flashed full into a blaze. The labourer ran for help, while
his wife, a timid woman, with three small children, overturned two pails of water on
the floor, and set the beer-tap running. This done, she hurried, wringing her hands, to
the door, and threw it wide open. The sudden draught of air did more mischief than
all Nick's malice, and fanned him into quite a conflagration. He danced upon the
rafters, melted a pewter-pot and a pat of butter, licked up the beer, and was just
making his way towards the bedroom, when through the thatch and down the
chimney came a rush of water. This arrested his progress for the moment; and
before he could recover himself, a second and a third discharge from the enemy
completed his discomfiture. Reduced ere long to one blue flame, and entirely
surrounded by a wall of wet ashes, Nick sat and smouldered ; while the good-
natured neighbours did their best to remedy the mishap, — saved a small remnant of
beer, assured the labourer that his landlord was certain to do the repairs, and
observed that the ham would eat 'beautiful.'
Our hero now had leisure for reflection. His situation precluded all hope of
doing further mischief; and the disagreeable conviction kept forcing itself upon his
mind that, after all, he had caused more injury to himself than to any of his
neighbours. Remembering, too, how contemptuously the fairy woman had looked
and spoken, he began to wonder how he could ever have expected to enjoy her gift.
Then it occurred to him, that if he merely studied his own advantage without trying to
annoy other people, perhaps his persecutor might be propitiated; so he fell to
thinking over all his acquaintances, their fortunes and misfortunes; and, having
weighed well their several claims on his preference, ended by wishing himself
the rich old man who lived in a handsome house just beyond the turnpike. In this
wish he burned out.
The last glimmer had scarcely died away, when Nick found himself in a bed
hung round with faded curtains, and occupying the centre of a large room. A
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night-lamp, burning on the chimney-piece, just enabled him to discern a few shabby
old articles of furniture, a scanty carpet, and some writing materials on a table.
These objects looked somewhat dreary; but for his comfort he felt an inward
consciousness of a goodly money-chest stowed away under his bed, and of sundry
precious documents hidden in a secret cupboard in the wall.
So he lay very cosily, and listened to the clock ticking, the mice squeaking,
and the house-dog barking down below. This was, however, but a drowsy
occupation; and he soon bore witness to its somniferous influence by sinking
into a fantastic dream about his money-chest. First, it was broken open, then
shipwrecked, then burned ; lastly, some men in masks, whom he knew instinctively
to be his own servants, began dragging it away. Nick started up, clutched hold of
something in the dark, found his last dream true, and the next moment was stretched
on the floor — lifeless, yet not insensible — by a heavy blow from a crowbar.
The men now proceeded to secure their booty, leaving our hero where he fell.
They carried off the chest, broke open and ransacked the secret closet, overturned
the furniture, to make sure that no hiding-place of treasure escaped them, and at
length, whispering together, left the room. Nick felt quite discouraged by his ill
success, and now entertained only one wish — that he were himself again. Yet even
this wish gave him some anxiety; for he feared that if the servants returned and
found him in his original shape they might take him for a spy, and murder him in
down-right earnest. While he lay thus cogitating two of the men reappeared, bearing
a shutter and some tools. They lifted him up, laid him on the shutter, and carried him
out of the room, down the back-stairs, through a long vaulted passage, into the open
air. No word was spoken; but Nick knew they were going to bury him.
An utter horror seized him, while, at the same time, he felt a strange
consciousness that his hair would not stand on end because he was dead. The men
set him down, and began in silence to dig his grave. It was soon ready to receive
him; they threw the body roughly in, and cast upon it the first shovelful of earth.
But the moment of deliverance had arrived. His wish suddenly found vent in a
prolonged unearthly yell. Damp with night dew, pale as death, and shivering from
head to foot, he sat bolt upright, with starting, staring eyes and chattering teeth. The
murderers, in mortal fear, cast down their tools, plunged deep into a wood hard by,
and were never heard of more.
Under cover of night Nick made the best of his way home, silent and
pondering. Next morning he gave Giles Hodge a rare tulip-root, with full directions for
rearing it; he sent the doctor's wife a Persian cat twice the size of her lost pet; the
labourer's cottage was repaired, his window glazed, and his beer barrel replaced by
unknown agency; and when a vague rumour reached the village that the miser was
dead, that his ghost had been heard bemoaning itself, and that all his treasures had
been carried off, our hero was one of the few persons who did not say, 'And served
him right, too.'
Finally, Nick was never again heard to utter a wish.